By BGlanders (BGlanders@aol.com) Version 2.0
SCENE: (Our two favorite GP officers once again standing at the main page of the TMFFA.)
MIHOSHI: So Kiyone, why are we here this time?
KIYONE: I've told you seven times already! We're here to make sure that freaky panda doesn't defile my image any more! Besides we're here on official Galaxy Police business to arrest the eternally most wanted criminal, GenSao.
MIHOSHI: Really? Wow. I thought we took this job because the others gave us all that money. Say Kiyone, isn't it nice to be able to use the baths every day now instead of three times a week? Wow, the others sure gave us an awful lot to keep an eye on that panda guy
KIYONE (Now quite red): Never. Mention. The bath situation. AGAIN!
KAMADAKE: It would probably be wise to listen to her, Miss Mihoshi.
KIYONE & MIHOSHI: AAAAAARRRUUUUGGGGHHHH!
KIYONE: How long have you been hovering there?
AZAKA: Long enough to pack our bags.
KIYONE: Say what?
KAMADAKE: The Master (dramatic music sounds!) decided that he didn't need us to be his rotating gifs anymore.
AZAKA: I feel so used.
MIHOSHI: Oh wow. That's really awful! I feel so bad for you two!
KAMADAKE: Don't cry miss Mihoshi
KIYONE: Listen to the log, Mihoshi.
KAMADAKE: We're not leaving, we just need to take side jobs now that we're not getting paid as much. Why just this morning we found work at another anime company! All we had to do was change our names.
KIYONE: Good for you two. By the way, what did you change your names to?
AZAKA: The ad said our names didn't really matter so long as they ended in 'el'. Look out, Shinji! Here we come!
KAMADAKE: (starts to hum Ode to Joy as they float off, suitcases hovering beside them)
MIHOSHI: So what do we do now, Kiyone?
KIYONE: Well, I don't know. Without Azaka or Kamadake to let us in, I don't know how to enter the new archive!
MIHOSHI: Well, I'm sure we'll find someone who will help like that flat-chested lady over there!
LINA: Who are you calling 'flat-chested'?!
KIYONE: Miss, I'm sorry, my partner didn't mean to
LINA: DRAGON SLAVE!!!!!!!
(A rather large explosion ensues, during which Lina Raywings back to Slayers)
MIHSOHI (Now covered in soot): Ouch, that hurt.
KIYONE (Also covered in soot): Yes. Yes it did. Next time I'll ask directions, okay? (She looks around and sees a green gentleman floating in mid air, seemingly sitting lotus style) Say mister? Could you help us to get to the
PICCOLO: Next dimension? Sure.
(A rather large explosions ensues, during which Piccolo files off to somewhere mysterious to train)
MIHOSHI: Ouch again.
KIYONE: Why did he try to fry us? I was just trying to ask him a question, for crying out loud!
VOICE: A question to which I have the answer!
MIHOSHI: Whose there?
VOICE: I am the Master!
(Dramatic music sounds!)
MIHOSHI & KIYONE: Hi Gen.
GENSAO: Come now, ladies, all you had to do was go to www.tmffa.com and viola! The tmffa is open for all your fan fiction needs!
(Time passes. We find Kiyone and Mihoshi standing with the giant panda in front of the main page to the archive.)
GENSAO: Well ladies, what do you think of the new and improved, bigger, brighter, low sodium fat-free and 99% all natural dietary supplemented tmffa?
MIHOSHI: I really like it! All the new manga scans you've done are really nice! I also like how the different sections, like regular and crossover, have been broken up to make finding stuff even easier! Also with the ever-present frames option, it feels like I'm always in control.
KIYONE: Mihoshi, you sound like an AOL ad.
MIHOSHI: Hey Kiyone, that really hurt!
KIYONE: Good. Well Mr. Panda, it seems that the archive does look a lot nicer. The sections are a bit easier to navigate and I must admit, the new manga scans are a nice addition as well, but you left my half-naked background image up you little pervert!
GENSAO: Now now, I can explain You see, I needed a bit of fan service to keep folks reading!
KIYONE: But you've already got Ryoko flaunting it all!
GENSAO: true, but who hasn't seen that?
(Winds of destruction blow through the fic for the briefest of moments as everyone pauses)
GENSAO: Anyway, I promise you that it was very close. In fact had I given into the 1,564,992 letters I received, I would have posted naked pictures of the other contestant in the running.
MIHOSHI: Wow! How many votes did Kiyone get?
GENSAO: Well .. 2
GENSAO: Please keep in mind that at the tmffa, there is always a 2% margin of error.
KIYONE: I hate you.
MIHOSHI: Wow, so who got all the votes?
PRETTY SAMMY: Hi everybody!
KIYONE: (Shaking the panda) You dirty little pedophile! When I get through with you, you won't even be able to breathe!
MIHOSHI: Calm down, Kiyone. After all, he just did a lot of work setting this archive up for the public! I mean, look at all this stuff he's done! There's a guest book, a site history page, some updated links, some new graphics, why there must be countless hours of programming here, and all you can do is threaten him!
KIYONE: You You're right, Mihoshi. It's not my place to destroy him.
However, he still needs to be punished for once again putting that picture up. Hmm, I wonder
(Kiyone is cut off by a giant purple foot squashing Gensao where he stands)
KIYONE: The heck?
(As they look up, the GP see a giant purple robot with a horn on its head doing battle with what look like two giant versions of Azaka and Kamadake, except with fake looking limbs taped on their sides)
AZAKA: Die spawn of Lilly!
KAMADAKE: Now you face us, the 27th and 28th angels!
AZAKA: Ready Kamadakel?
KAMADAKE: Ready Azakael!
BOTH: FLYING HOLY LOG ATTACK!
ROBOT: I mustn't run away!
(They continue to fight until they get off screen, leaving the two officers staring at a pancake of a panda)
MIHOSHI: Um, Kiyone? Didn't they mean spawn of lilit
KIYONE: Quiet! You wanna get sued by the dark forces of hell?
MIHOSHI: You mean Ginaxx?
KIYONE: Whatever. Let's go home.
(As they leave, the panda whimpers, then crawls off screen)
GENSAO: Why me?
Tenchi Muyo!, Kiyone and Mihoshi belong to Pioneer
Pretty Sammy belongs to Pioneer
Piccolo belongs to Pioneer
Lina Inverse should belong to Pioneer
The whole world belongs to Pioneer
I hope you have enjoyed the short fan fiction. I personally loved this second version of the introductory fic. I must have been crazy to comission BGlanders to write a introductory fic to the current version (Version 4.0) of this site. Please give all C&C to BGlanders. He is great guy and deserves all of your feedback.
There were two other intro fics. The Original Introduction fic and the Special Christmas Introduction fic were replaced with the current one.
Please enjoy the rest of your visit to the Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction archive. And, please don't let this fic unjustly warp your opinion about me.
--Aldrich "GenSao" Bautista
Maintainer of the Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction Archive