I-don't-want-to-get-sued-Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo and its characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer. ATTENTION: This is a Lemon! This means that the story contains sexually explicit scenes and is not suitable for you readers. Unless you are of legal age to view such material (18 in most cases), leave now. WARNING: This fic contains no story whatsoever. I will use approx 3kb on an excuse to write the sex scene, which will be much more explicit than most people like. Everything but the sex has been dumped into a convenient plot-hole the size of Uranus, including all but three characters. Those three who do show up will act out-of-character for reasons which have also dissapeared into the plot hole. If you consider yourself halfway decent, you'll dislike the fic, and might as well save yourself the trouble of reading it. Don't say I didn't warn you. On the bright side it is at least not a Sasami lemon. So there. Notes: This story takes place in a future OAV storyline. Email the author at: ecchihalf@yahoo.com ------- ====[ BEGIN ]==== ------- Ecchi Half presents: - Cooking Lessons - The sun shone with a passion on the idyllic grounds of the Jurai Embassy on Earth. Known for generations simply as the 'Masaki Shrine', the lush forests on the mountains surrounding the former Demon's Prison were now part of the first alien embassy on Earth. On one particular idyllic spot, the forest gave away to a calm lake and a wooden house. In perfect harmony an alien onsen floated above the lake, in silent defiance of gravity. The house itself was a spacious 3-storey piece of art in wood and glass. While certainly not small, the abode was certainly humble in size, considering it was the First Crown Prince of Jurai's residence on Earth. In fact, said Prince's treeship - the Achika - was an order of magnitude larger then the building. Inside the house could be found a large shiny Earth-style kitchen, where two of the female residents were engaged in casual conversation. Both were clad in robes looking like expensive kimonos, but modified in the traditional style of the Royal House of Jurai. The first of the females had blue patterns in her robes, matching the long, flowing blue hair perfectly. Her pink eyes seemed to instill tranquility in the souls of any observer, but a slight hint of mischief - a reminder of her youth - was present to the trained eye. On her forehead two circular blue dots complimented her soft features. The two dots were traditional for the first wife of the Emperor, symbolizing the megami marks of power on the patron goddess of Jurai. As the first wife of the Crown Prince, the marks suited the female perfectly. However these two dots in particular was not make-up, but rather the original megami-marks identifying Tsunami. The second of the females was clad similarly, but had red patterns in her robe where her counterpart had blue. Instead of flowing, her hair was a wild mane of untamable cyan locks reaching to her knees. Set in the style of her mother's, her hair added to the slightly feline aura surrounding her - further accented by the golden cat-like eyes. Three red dots in a triangular pattern completed the sharper features of her face. Like her counterpart, these marks too were genuine megami power marks, beeing those identifying the neko-goddess Ryoko. Currently, the first wife of the Crown Prince was tutoring the second wife in the culinary arts of Earth, a concept which had horribly eluded Ryoko's grasp in the past. Considering that she spent her first 5 millenia as a destroyer of worlds, this is not really a surprise. However under the skilled tutelage of her sensei Tsunami, her skills had improved incredibly. This particular day saw Tsunami lecturing Ryoko on the western-style salad. On the table in front of them were various ingredients neatly ordered; tomatoes, iceberg, cucumbers, carrots, salad-oil and a few alien ingredients. --- * --- "Ryoko-chan..are you paying attention?" Tsunami had interrupted her praise of the natural ingredients in Terran food when it was apparent that Ryoko had zoned out. "Earth control to Ryoko! Wake up!" Tsunami raised her voice a bit, breaking Ryoko out of her reverie. "huh?.. what?" "You really miss him, ne Ryoko-chan?" Ryoko followed Tsunami's gaze to her own hands, where she was idly playing with one of the cucumbers in a suggestive manner. She blushed a bit. "Hey..you miss him too. You're just better at hiding it." "Hmm?" "Don't play innocent with me - I can smell your pheremones. If he came home now you'd probably do the ecchi with him before he makes it through the living room." Ryoko added with a playful smile. "Only if you don't exhaust him before he makes it to the living room." Tsunami added in a mock defensive statement. "So very true." "Well, he might arrive today. But until he does, why don't we pass some time finishing this salad. Ryoko was about to suggest an alternate way of passing some time, but decided against it. Even if that way would have provided some relief. As she considered this, Tsunami continued the interrupted cooking session. "As for the tomatoes, it is important that they are ..." Ryoko's thoughts began wandering again. Subconciously her fingers stroked the cucumber she never did put down, as her thoughts ran to Tenchi again. Even if the marriage was two months ago, one week was still alot of time to be without him. Tsunami noticed that Ryoko had zoned out again. While she herself had greater patience, she missed Tenchi no less. And like Ryoko, she too had some stirring urges which had grown stronger as the week passed. Looking at Ryoko's hands she guessed that Ryoko probably wouldn't be able to concentrate until Tenchi returned. Unless, of course, Ryoko found some relief. A sparkle of mischief in her eyes, Tsunami grabbed one of the bottles of salad oil. Squeezing it, she splashed Ryoko with a streak of oil down the front of her dress. This woke Ryoko up. With a startled "Hey!" she grabbed the other bottle and squirted at Tsunami. Tsunami retaliated, and soon the two goddesses were running around the table in the center of the kitchen, splashing salad oil at each other. After a while they stopped to catch their breath, both now clad in exceedingly sticky clothes. Tsunami more so, since Ryoko managed to pour half a bottle down her backside with a doppelganger. Noticing Tsunami assessing the amount of oil on her clothes, Ryoko offered her help with a sly smile. "Here, let me help you with that, Tsunami-chan." Ryoko said and placed her hand on Tsunami's shoulder. Tsunami eep'ed shortly when Ryoko placed her out of phase with her clothes, dropping them all to the ground. Incidentally, this also placed Ryoko out of phase with her own clothing, which dropped synchronously with Tsunami's. Standing naked in front of each other, neither failed to notice how the room temperature seemed to have gone up a few degrees, or how the other's nipples were slightly swollen from excitement. Discovering that Ryoko's bottle of salad oil was empty, Tsunami got back at Ryoko by splashing her. Tsunami smiled when Ryoko brought her own bottle up to get even, only to discover that it was empty. "Gotcha" Ryoko smiled back as she got an idea. Tsunami's superior smile was replaced by confusion when Ryoko started smiling, as she wondered how Ryoko was going to get her back without more 'ammunition'. The answer soon came, as Ryoko discarded her empty bottle and glomped Tsunami amazon-style, smearing Tsunami with the oil she had just splashed Ryoko with. In addition to rubbing oil on Tsunami, the glomp had some interesting side effects, as it caused their ample breasts to rub against each other. After a few seconds of contact both moaned slightly. Reclaiming the initiative, Tsunami brought Ryoko's head up for a kiss while lowering her onto the table at the center of the kitchen. Soon after they were french-kissing, rubbing their bodies against each other. After a while of this Tsunami broke contact, sitting on her knees with a leg on each side of Ryoko's hips. Taking the remaining bottle, she added a trace of oil from Ryoko's neck to her thighs. Proptly she began to massage it into Ryoko's skin, her hands roaming over Ryoko's body; playing with her breast; circling the gem at her throat. The oil on the table from their 'fight' stuck to Ryoko as she squirmed under Tsunami's pleasuring touch. Soon Ryoko was covered in the slippery oil, her body glistening in the sunlight from the windows. She gently reversed positions with Tsunami, and started applying oil to her willing body. Rubbing the oil all over her, Ryoko soon had Tsunami glistening in the same way as herself. She shifted slightly in her position, bringing her pelvis into contact with Tsunami's. They rubbed against each other, their moans increasing as the pleasure brought them closer. Laying back on top of Tsunami, they started rubbing their oil-coated bodies against each other. Bringing her hands down, Tsunami started playing with Ryoko's clit. Ryoko shuddered against Tsunami's body as a wave of pleasure ran through her, and soon she brought her own hands down to repay the favour. Deciding to up the ante, Ryoko turned around bringing them to a 69. Adding her tongue to the job, Ryoko had Tsunami moaning and squirming under her. Tsunami levelled the field by applying her own tongue, and started easing a finger into Ryoko soon after. Ryoko's breath quickened as Tsunami applied another finger to the one already in Ryoko. She felt the tension rising as an orgasm built within her, and in a last ditch effort to bring Tsunami with her over the edge, she slid two of her own fingers into Tsunami. Tsunami was almost swept away by a wave of pleasure as Ryoko did her best to finish her off. Almost lost in pleasure she managed to quicken the pace at which she was finger-fucking Ryoko. This proved to be enough, and Ryoko cried out as a mind-shattering orgasm blew away her mind. However the squirming of Ryoko's oil-coated body against her's, brought Tsunami over the edge as well. She added her own cry of ecstasy as she was taken to the Clouds and the Rain. After a minute the duet died down to quiet moans, as their bodies relaxed. Ryoko slid off Tsunami and turned around to face her. Laying down at her side, Ryoko brought Tsunami in for a kiss. They alternated initiating short kisses. Tsunami quickly noted the growing urgency in Ryoko's kisses, and her hands roaming Tsunami's still glistening body. "Still horny Ryoko-chan?" Ryoko's steamy gaze was all the answer she needed. "You're quite the sex-kitten. I think I know just what to do about that." The mischievous glint was back in Tsunami's eyes as she slid down the table until her head was resting at Ryoko's thigh. With one hand she grabbed the bottle of salad oil and poured some over Ryoko's pussy and her other hand playing with it. When Ryoko's privates were covered in a slick layer of oil she grabbed a cucumber with her empty hand and began rubbing it against Ryoko's clit and pussy-lips. Applying a bit more oil, the cucumber was soon coated, and Ryoko was moaning loudly at the sensations from the cucumber rubbing her unmentionables. Slowly Tsunami let the tip of the cucumber slip inside Ryoko's hole, already lubricated by love juices. Ryoko shivered at the contact, and Tsunami brought the tip outside again only to slowly ease it back. She continued teasing Ryoko in this manner until she managed a "Please..st-stop teasing m-me...I..I need it ...n-now". Complying with Ryoko's wish, Tsunami slid the cucumber into her waiting pussy. Ryoko cried out Tsunami's name as she felt the immense pleasure of the cucumber sliding deep into her. Tsunami brought it back out, until only the tip was inside, then pressed it back in. Continuing to slowly push the cucumber in and out of Ryoko, Tsunami started licking her clit. Ryoko's body shuddered and writhened with pleasure, sliding around the oil-covered table. Each time it went in, a little bit more of the cucumber would be submerged in Ryoko's dripping pussy. Around the tenth stroke only the tip of the cucumber could be seen protuding from Ryoko's glistening slit, and Ryoko was thrashing around on the table in ecstasy. The sensation of the cucumber buried so deep in her body and Tsunami's skilled tongue at work on her clit brought Ryoko over the edge and then some. Her loud cries of pleasure echoed through the kitchen, loud enough to drown out the landing of a treeship outside. --- * --- First Crown Prince Tenchi Hakubi Jurai brought his treeship, the Achika, to a perfect standstill over the lake. The majestetic ship hovered in the same gravity-defying manner as the onsen, like a sculptured wooden piece of art suspended in time. Tenchi gave a mental command with the Master Key, and Achika teleported him to just outside the door of his house. He gave a quick loving thought to his two wives, who would surely tackle him in a group hug/glomp the minute he knocked the door. He missed them a lot, and knew how much they missed him after even a few days apart. Smiling he knocked the door, mentally bracing for impact. When nothing happened his face changed to a more puzzled expression. It was hard to miss a spaceship landing beside the house. Surely they must have heard him? Knocking a second time, Tenchi recieved still no response. He opened the door and stepped inside, still wondering where his wives were and how they could not have heard him approach. He almost immediately got the answer, in the form of a load cry of pleasure from the direction of the kitchen. Before his brain had identified the source and nature of the sound, he had turned his head in direction of the kitchen, and his eyes went wide. Tenchi had been through a lot of things in his life. Freeing demons, fighting avatars, discovering his heritage and dealing with goddesses. Still, nothing could have prepared him for the sight his eyes met when he looked into the kitchen. The centre table of the kitchen was coated in salad oil, and covered with the patron goddesses of two worlds. These two incredibly curvy megami were stark naked and covered in oil themselves, glistening in the sunlight like a teenage fantasy. The tree-goddess sat on her knees, bend over the neko-goddess, sliding a cucumber deep into her naked slit. The cyan haired beauty was squirming on the table, squeezing her glistening breasts with her hands. The blue haired beauty had her firm oiled ass pointing into the air, her wet pussy directly in view. By pure reflex Tenchi's hand went to his nose. Even if conditioned to the sight of his sexy wives naked and getting naughty, his nose was hard pressed not to erupt in a red geyser. Another part of him reacted as promptly, creating a tent in his regal robes at his crotch. For a short while he was paralyzed by the sight of Tsunami working on Ryoko's third orgasm while pointing her ass in the air in a most inviting fashion. Slowly regaining his wits, his attention turned to a piece of him which had awakened from the sight and sounds in the kitchen. Soon Tenchi's hormones had made the decision for him, and he moved stealthily into the kitchen, disrobing as he went. Silent like a ninja he crawled up on the table behind his oblivious first wife. Now naked himself, he positioned the head of his throbbing erection on Tsunami's coated pussy-lips. The gentle contact tickled his sensitive head, stiffening him further. Then with a "Honey, I'm home" he slid his shaft deep inside Tsunami, burying his length in her lubricated hole. Tsunami cried out from pleasure as she felt the warm length of Tenchi's member sliding into her. His remark lingered on the edge of her conciousness, as she was lost in a wave of pleasure, but she already instinctively knew who it was. Her concentration on pleasuring Ryoko was further broken when he started fucking her, slowly increasing tempo. Ryoko was still oblivious to Tenchi's arrival, lost in the sensation of the cucumber now completely buried in her. Tsunami was quicly approaching the edge as Tenchis warm pole drove in and out of her. With each stroke he brought his erect manhood in to the root, his balls briefly touching her sensitive clit. Already hot from their action, Tsunami could only take so much of this before her mind was washed away. She cried out his name as the orgasm overtook her. Ryoko's mind was caught by the sound of his name being cried in pleasure, and she opened her eyes to see Tsunami collapsing on her, Tenchi standing behind her with his dripping erection, and a warm smile on his face as he observed them. Rolling around, Ryoko brought the exhausted Tsunami under her and got up on all fours. She wiggled her ass invitingly at Tenchi. Tenchi saw Ryoko's shapely ass standing in front of his erection. The tip of the cucumber still buried in her was visible just inside her pussy, and her unconciously summoned tail was making inviting gestures towards her vacant hole. The low purr emanating from her throat as she looked back at him over her shoulder with a seductive gaze completed her neko image. Grabbing the half full bottle, Tenchi placed the bottleneck just inside her ass and began pouring salad oil into her. Ryoko squirmed as the cold slippery liquid flowed into her, slowly filling her other hole. When the bottle was spent, Tenchi discarded it. He watched fascinated as excess oil flowed out her ass, down her pussy around the protuding tip of the cucumber, dripping down on to Tsunami's stomach. Placing the tip of his cock between Ryoko's slippery ass cheeks, he slowly eased himself inside her, pushing out oil from her full hole. Ryoko who had only just attuned to the feeling of the cool oil filling her hole now felt the warmth of Tenchi's erection working it's way into her. She cried out with pleasure as he completed his first stroke, burying his dick completely in her ass. His balls now between her ass-cheeks, could feel some of the remaining oil seeping out. Tenchi slowly started thrusting in and out of Ryoko, her moans testament of the pleasure he was giving her. His own mind was almost numb with the incredible feeling of her tight warm lubricated canal engulfing his cock. Going steady, their mutual pleasure rose as they both worked closer to orgasm. Recovering from her previous orgasm, Tsunami started massaging Ryoko's bouncing breasts. Shifting position beneath Ryoko, Tsunami turned 180 so she had a clear view of Tenchi's dick pounding into Ryoko's ass. With her left hand she started rubbing Ryoko's clit, while her right hand started moving the cucumber around inside Ryoko. In her position, head directly beneath Ryoko's ass and pussy, the oil seeping from both holes would drip on her face, but Tsunami made no move to change this. Soon her face has glistening from a thin coverage of oil and juices, from her neck to past her megami marks. Ryoko was already close when Tsunami resumed her attentions to the cucumber and her clit. The sensation of having both her holes filled with thrusting poles combined with the pleasure flowing from her clit brought her over the edge and far beyond. As she shivered in the third orgasm that day, the fourth rolled over her, sweeping her completely away. As Ryoko came, her muscles contracted around Tenchi's erection. The pleasure overwhelmed Tenchi, taking him over the edge as well. Thrusting deep into the writhening Ryoko, Tenchi shot his first hot load in the depth of her ass. At this point Ryoko collapsed on top of Tsunami, her body still convulsing in a mindblowing orgasm. Tenchi's cock now out in the open shot another glob of sticky white semen into the air. It landed on Ryoko's ass drawing a trail down her slit and finally onto Tsunami's left cheek. Aiming downwards, his third shot splashed against Tsunami's forehead, covering her marks in his hot liquid. Tsunami felt the hot sticky fluid running down her face as more streaks were added to her cheeks, nose and forehead. Reflexively she closed her left eye when she saw another load spewing fourth in that direction, and soon after she felt the hot semen pooling on her eyelid, parts of it running down her temple. Yet another load landed on her lips and tongue. As the white liquid settled on her tongue, she noticed the familiar salty flavour of the hot glob in her mouth. Another two shots flew into her mouth, adding to the sticky pool gathering there. She felt the heat of his slowly relaxing rod resting against her coated forehead, and closed her mouth. Relaxing from the ordeal she swallowed the warm salty load in her mouth with a contended sigh. Tenchi looked down, the fog of pleasure slowly lifting from his vision. In front of him was the two goddesses, hist first and second wives, covered in a glistening slippery layer of salad oil. The neko-goddess was sprawled on top of the tree-goddess, a combination of sperm and oil leaking from her ass, covering the tip of the cucumber visible in her slit. The patron goddess of Jurai was covered in a mix of semen and oil from the base of her neck to her forehead where his relaxing dick rested, covering the megami-marks with the last seed oozing out of it. Her eyes were closed in contentment, allowing a pool of his semen to to rest on her left eyelid. Her throat bulging as she swallowed the load which had gathered in her mouth. The only sounds breaking the tranquility were a satisfied sigh from Tsunami and a low purr from Ryoko. A little while later Tenchi finally broke the silence. "Well, if this is what those tutoring sessions in cooking is about, you can sign me up for some lessons anytime." ----- ====[ END ]==== ----- Another out of context lemon from me. This story breaks with two of my main principles regarding Tenchi Muyo fics: 1) It has Tenchi married to Tsunami 2) It has Tenchi married to more than one girl But since this is a lemon with no story and no plot, I will let it slide for now. I have chosen to call the Sasami/Tsunami personality by her goddess name to emphasize that this is not a Sasami-lemon. Tenchi's treeship is named Achika after his mother, just as Yosho's treeship is named after his mother (Funaho). Comments, criticism and suggestions are always welcome. Unless everybody flames me, you'll probably see more fics like this. I have plans for at least two Universe fics, one with the Dimension Tuner, and a crossover of some sort. Email: ecchihalf@yahoo.com Hope you liked it. Ecchi Half