All "Tenchi Muyo" references are copyrighted by AIC and Pioneer LD. This is an amateur, non-commercial story which is not produced, approved of, or in any way sponsored by the holders of the trademarks/copyrights from which this work is derived, nor is it intended to infringe on the rights of these holders. She's got it, yeah baby she's got it. Writer's note-This story combines elements of the TM OAV, Tenchi Universe, and the Manga. I was bored that day. MISTAKEN IDENTITY By Jeff Morris (jeffreysmorris@aol.com) Few events were more joyful than Minagi's occasional visits to the Masaki household. The young woman's sheer exuberance and friendliness were enough to lighten the grumpiest heart, and she always brought armloads of presents and tales of her recent adventures. This visit, however, the spunky pirate was even more excited than usual, and it didn't take Ayeka and Ryoko very long to find out why. "I've met someone special," Minagi told them, golden eyes ablaze with delight. "I think it's love!" "That's wonderful, dear!" Ayeka said, taking the cup of tea Sasami was offering. "Tell us all about it." "Yeah, starting with the name of the lucky guy," Ryoko grinned. "And where is he? You know, as your clonal kind-of mother, I do have certain responsibilities." "Well..." Minagi smiled shyly. "For openers, it's a gal, not a guy. That's not a problem, is it?" "I don't see why it should be," Ayeka shrugged. "That's hardly unusual on Jurai. In fact, it's encouraged somewhat among the women of nobility. Keeps illegitimate pretenders to the throne at a minimum." "Don't look at me," Ryoko said. "Never tried it, myself. But if she makes you happy, more power to you. I'll stick with Tenchi." "That brings mental images to mind that I'd rather not deal with," Ayeka laughed. "Go on, Minagi." "Okay. The other thing you need to know is..." Minagi looked hesitant. "Well, Ryoko, it's someone you know, and, umm, you might not be too thrilled about it at first, but I've got to ask you to keep an open mind, because she's really not a bad person at heart, and when you hear how we met, you'll understand why you had problems with her." "Now I'm REALLY intrigued," Ryoko said. "Promise me you won't get angry or start anything," Minagi asked. Ryoko raised two fingers--the middle one on each finger. "Pirate's honor." "Now there's a contradiction in terms," Ayeka noted. "Blow me, princess." "Oh my. And here you'd just said you weren't interested in that sort of activity." "Guys." Minagi rose to her feet and hurried over to the door. "Okay. You ready?" She slid the door open and leaned outside. "Come on in, they said it was okay." And with that, she took the stranger's hand and guided her in. Ryoko wasn't sure what to expect--given the background Minagi had just given, she was just grateful it hadn't been Kagato--but this was in fact the last person in the universe she'd ever have expected to see. "YOU?" Nagi stood there, a bit nervous but still managing to look both graceful and menacing at the same time. "Hello, Ryoko. Long time no see." * * * * * "That's it, Ryoko," Sasami urged. "Just breathe into the paper bag, and you'll be fine in a minute." "I'm really sorry, Ayeka." Minagi was standing nearby, the picture of embarrassment. Nagi had settled onto the edge of the sofa farthest away from Ryoko, watching the situation quietly but clearly amused. "I wasn't sure how she'd react, but this wasn't what I thought would happen." "No," Nagi said dryly. "She figured Ryoko would try to skewer me with her sword." "The...day's...young," Ryoko gasped, glaring at the bounty hunter who'd given her so much trouble in the past. "Just what the hell are you doing here? I thought I'd seen the last of you seven hundred years ago!" Nagi grinned. "You went into cold storage, why couldn't I? I figured you weren't dead, so I made some arrangements. When you resurfaced, I was revived." She leaned back and stretched, giving everyone a long look at her supple, muscular form. Minagi sighed rather audibly at the sight, earning her a glare from Ryoko. "I also got a rejuvenation treatment while I was at it. What do you think?" "Nagi, you promised you wouldn't provoke Ryoko!" Minagi protested. "All right, love. I'm sorry. You too, Ryoko." The apology seemed sincere, but Ryoko couldn't help but notice the humor dancing behind Nagi's eyes. "Well, this is certainly...unexpected," Ayeka said, choosing her words carefully. "I am curious, though, to hear just how the two of you came together. You were going to tell us, Minagi, and I for one still want to hear it." "Well...okay," Minagi nodded, going over to sit beside Nagi. The bounty hunter slid a protective arm behind her. "This is how it happened..." * * * * * There were corners of the Jurai Empire that you'd never find on any tourist brochure, areas that nice boys and girls simply did not even think about entering. These were the places where the bad people--the smugglers, the pirates, the criminals, and the bounty hunters--dwelt, and they did not take kindly to strangers. They would, however, gladly take their earthly possessions, their virtue, and their lives, not always in that order. Ryoko the space pirate was widely known and her reputation feared, so everyone gave the young woman with light blue hair a wide berth when she entered the 'Pistol Whip' that evening. If anyone saw the twin scars that framed her face perfectly, he or she would just attribute it to a long-ago battle and shrug it off. Ryoko had recently returned to action--the rumor was that she'd dealt first with her captor, then her former master--and was once again striking fear into the hearts of cargo shippers everywhere. Maybe seven hundred years had passed, but her wrath--and what she could do when provoked--was still very much in people's minds, so they made a point of leaving her alone. Which was just how Minagi, partly a clone of Ryoko with the genetics of the greatest swordsman in Jurai history thrown in, wanted it. The way she saw it, Ryoko wasn't using her reputation for anything, and she was pretty sure the woman wouldn't mind if she borrowed it from time to time. It saved a great deal of time and prevented a lot of hassle. Someone had put a far-too-friendly hand on her breast once; Minagi had subsequently provided the bar denizens with a new definition of "ripping him a new one", and that had pretty much settled the issue of respect. Minagi's purpose in coming to the 'Pistol Whip' was simple: a free trader had offered her a sizeable sum to haul a large quantity of questionable merchandise to Antari. While pirating the ships of those she deemed to be "bad people" was fun, it wasn't always profitable. She'd therefore decided to take on the occasional smuggling assignment when necessary. Her ship Hinase was in need of some routine maintenance, and this job would cover the bills. A quick, quiet word to the bartender, and she was directed toward one particular dark corner, where a balding little man who was sweating far more than would normally be expected was sitting, his knobby little hands wrapped around a drink glass. His gaze constantly shot back and forth in every direction, as if he was expecting the Hordes of Hell to descend upon him at any second. Minagi thought about telling him not to worry-last she'd heard, they were over in the Southern sector-but decided to stick solely with business. She stepped up to the booth and stared down at the little man. "Gobaki?" His head shot up instantly. "Y-yes. That's me. Won't you have a seat, R- Ryoko?" "Fine." She slid gracefully into the seat directly opposite him. "But my name isn't Ryoko. It's Minagi. Okay?" A sly look crossed his eyes. "Ahh. Of course. I understand perfectly... 'Minagi'." "No, no, you don't understand. It really is my name..." Minagi shook her head in despair; even when she tried to build her own reputation, Ryoko's completely overshadowed her. "Let's get to business," she said firmly. "What have you got, when does it need to be at Antari, and how much is it worth to you to get it there?" Gobaki trembled slightly. "Ahhh...would you like a drink, 'Minagi'?" "No." She leaned forward. "Business first." "Well, okay...here's the deal. I've got a big supply of Denarti grain that needs to be delivered to a special location without anyone spotting you doing it." "Grain?" Minagi asked, a bit startled. "Grain's pretty tame." "Not when you use it to synthesize some of the most potent alcohol in the galaxy," Gobaki replied with a leer. "And you know what religious prudes the Antarians can be. They find out what's going on under their noses, and all hell will break loose." "You've got a point." Minagi did some quick calculating and planning; it could be done, of course, and it wouldn't be too hard to go undetected. That left the time limit to factor in, but if she played this right... "AH! MY BABY!" A scream from nearby caught Minagi's ear, and she instantly moved out of the booth. A blanketed bundle was falling directly in her path, and just behind it was a terror-stricken woman with silver hair and a huge dark robe wrapped around her. No wonder she'd tripped; Minagi had seen more swordfights lost due to players stumbling over their clothing than she cared to think about. She lunged forward and caught the baby almost instantly. "Oh, thank you so much," the woman said, rising slowly to her feet. "No problem. My pleasure." Minagi peered down at the bundle. Her eyes widened. "Hey, this isn't a baby. It's a..." The stun grenade went off at that instant. Minagi hit the floor hard, knocked senseless by the blast. The 'mother' smiled and quickly hauled the unconscious woman up over her shoulder, then turned to the terrified Gobaki and threw him a small bag. "Payment in full. Thanks." "A...anytime, Nagi." * * * * * "Let me get this straight," Ryoko said to Minagi, her eyes blazing. "You've been using my rep to get ahead? Don't you realize I'm trying to lie low and reform so Tenchi will marry me? What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm sorry," Minagi shrugged helplessly. "I try to tell people, I really do, but no one believes me." "I'm helping her build her own rep," Nagi said. "Don't sweat things, Ryoko. Nobody really remembers you these days anyway. Just the few really old people who still have a marble or two left." "Oh, thanks so much," Ryoko replied sarcastically. "Now I feel so much better." "So what happened next?" Sasami asked eagerly. "Something that a girl your age shouldn't be listening to," Nagi said pointedly. "Move along." Sasami made a face and slunk out of the room toward the kitchen. "Okay. Now she can listen in from there and think she's getting away with something. Go on, Min." "Okay," Minagi grinned. "Eventually I came to, and that's when I realized something really weird was going on..." * * * * * Minagi opened her eyes and moaned...or at least, she tried to. That was the moment she discovered that she was both blindfolded and gagged. In trying to remove said items, she next found that she was handcuffed from behind. When she tried to phase through the bonds, Minagi realized that the cuffs had an anti- phase relay. Hmmm. Initial outlook wasn't good. She needed more data. She was lying on top of something big and comfortable with a satisfactory amount of give, which most likely meant a mattress. Her fingers slid over silk sheets. There was a faint smell of perfume mixed with a burning odor...scented candle? Her legs were free, but she still felt pretty drained from the stun grenade. Nice trick, that. So, she concluded, she had no idea what the hell was going on. The more she thought about it, she didn't really want to know what was coming next. Minagi closed her eyes and concentrated on picking the handcuff locks, the way Master had taught her to several years ago. The voice made her pause. "Ryoko." Definitely feminine, somewhat husky, kind of seductive-under optimum conditions, of course, of which this most certainly wasn't. Minagi was starting to get an idea of where this was heading...and oddly enough, she was intrigued. She stopped struggling and waited. "You don't know how long I've waited to catch you," the voice purred. "Over seven hundred years. You thought you'd lost me, didn't you? You figured I'd get old, or die. Wrong again. You always did underestimate me, Ryoko. You should have known that Nagi never gives up on a bounty." Nagi? Bounty? But the statute of limitations for Ryoko's crimes had expired. Boy, Minagi thought as she lay there waiting, this Nagi sure was a determined soul, if not downright obsessed. Minagi heard a soft rustling of cloth falling. Uh-oh. A soft crackle of energy heralded the activation of an energy sword. A moment later, Minagi felt the heat of the blade as it slid from her neck to her legs, neatly parting her jumpsuit down the middle without once touching her skin. A pair of warm hands pressed briefly against her chest as the cloth was pulled further apart and ripped away. Definitely an uh-oh. She just wished she wasn't getting so turned on by the whole thing. Nagi's breathing was getting faster and raspier by the minute. "Ryoko," she breathed. "Oh, Ryoko. Here's where you get what's coming to you..." Minagi gasped as something warm pressed against the area between her legs. Something long and wet was probing. Oh boy. Ohhh boy. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy... * * * * * By the time Nagi had torn the blindfold and gag away and positioned Minagi's head between her legs, her captive was more than ready to reciprocate. WAY more than ready. Minagi had never seen anyone climax so fast, so hard, and so often. * * * * * "What?" Minagi paused in her narrative; Ryoko had gone sheet-white, her mouth agape. "Is something wrong, Ryoko?" "Where...did you...learn...about that?" Ryoko said slowly. "About what?" "Sex." Minagi laughed. "Oh, come on, Ryoko. I may look and sound a bit young and innocent, but surely you didn't think I..." She hesitated upon seeing the new look on her clone-mother's face. "Oh. You DID think that I..." "I just thought..." Ryoko shook her head. "Never mind." Ayeka decided to intercede. "Minagi, you had just...finished...your liaison with Nagi," she prompted gently. "Oh, yeah. Well, we kind of fell asleep for awhile, and when I finally woke up..." * * * * * Minagi slowly drifted awake. She hadn't felt this sated, this relaxed, in ages. With slowly-dawning awareness, she realized that the phase shackles were gone, as were the tattered remains of her clothing. She stretched and yawned lazily before sitting up and looking around. It was a pretty nice room, all things considered; a bit Spartan, but comfortable. Her captor was sitting at a desk nearby, her head in her hands. "So you're awake," she said dully. "Yeah." Minagi hopped off the bed and walked over to the other woman's side. "You alright?" "You're not Ryoko." "No, I'm not. My name's Minagi. I'm kind of her clone. Long story." She put a hand on Nagi's shoulder. "Listen..." "I am...so embarrassed..." Nagi's breath caught momentarily. "Please forgive me for what I did. I thought...oh hell, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so sorry." "You said you've been after Ryoko for a long time," Minagi said quietly. "Only it wasn't for the bounty, was it?" "I...no. At first it was," Nagi said slowly. "The more I pursued her, the more I saw her, learned about her...the more it became something more. It consumed me. I thought about her day and night. I became obsessed...to the point where I took an innocent stranger and did...what I did..." A mournful sigh filled the air. "I could have escaped any time I wanted, you know," Minagi said gently. "You left my legs free. I could have brought my legs together and stunned you. I had the shackles halfway undone." She giggled. "But once you got started...leaving was the last thing on my mind." Nagi's head slowly lifted. "You're kidding," she said. Minagi shook her head. "It was incredible. I really enjoyed it. Kind of kinky, but I liked it." She slid her fingers under Nagi's chin and slowly lowered her head. "In fact, I'd like to take you back to bed and do it again." Nagi's exclamation of surprise was interrupted by Minagi's long, deep kiss. Mesmerized, she allowed Minagi to guide her to her feet and lead her back to the bed. * * * * * "And then we ate pussy!" Minagi finished. "All night, in fact! And the next morning, we got to talking and decided to see where it went...and a few months ago, we decided to make it permanent. So we got married!" "Oh my," Ayeka breathed, privately deciding that an afternoon visit to the onsen was definitely needed. "That's...quite a tale, Minagi." "I don't believe this," Ryoko groaned, her head in her hands. "Are you telling me that all Nagi ever wanted to do was...that?" "I kept telling you I wanted your head," Nagi grinned. "I just didn't tell you what I wanted to do with it." "Oh God," Ryoko said. "Let me die now." "Oh, come on," Nagi said. "You going to tell me you've never had a Girl's Night in the onsen? I refuse to believe that, especially after what I've heard about the women in the Royal Family." She was rewarded with furious blushes from both Ryoko and Ayeka. "Uh-huh." "That's different," Ryoko said furiously. "I just...dammit, Minagi, you're supposed to be sweet and innocent. You're supposed to be the me I could have been if I hadn't become me...I mean...I mean...oh, hell!" "I'm sweet," Minagi said uncertainly. "I'll say," Nagi leered. "Ryoko, I appreciate that you thought that, but...I'm not you. I haven't been a virgin in years. Truth is, guys are okay, but I prefer girls." She shrugged nonchalantly. "It might be because Master always told me that boys were only after one thing and that sex weakened the legs." "Wrong on both counts-well, he was right about boys, but he forgot about girls," Nagi added. Minagi put a warning hand on her leg...at least, that was what everyone was hoping it was for. "Oh, to hell with all this!" Ryoko declared, soaring into the air and through the ceiling before anyone could react. Minagi started to follow, but Ayeka shook her head. "Just give her a little time to cool off," the princess suggested. "In the meantime, perhaps Sasami could stop panting in the kitchen and bring in some fresh baked cookies..." * * * * * Ryoko closed her eyes and let the warm water wash over her body. A good bath and long soak, aided by a few bottles of sake, had done a lot to dispel her bad mood. She just wished she could think of a way to apologize gracefully to Minagi for her tirade. She was right; they were quite different individuals, and it wasn't fair for Ryoko to try and force the girl to be something she wasn't simply because it didn't fit Ryoko's mental image. "Oh, I can think of a way," someone behind her giggled. Before Ryoko could react, two long, slender arms that looked oddly familiar had grabbed her by the wrists and pinned her down securely. Ryoko tilted her head back and found... "Minagi?" "Hi! We were wondering if you'd help us out with a little experiment, Ryoko!" "Experiment? We? What the hell are you talking about, Minagi?" "It's quite simple," came a voice from directly in front of her. Ryoko shot her head forward to find the incredibly well-sculpted body of Nagi standing there...between her legs. "What I'd like to do, Ryoko, is perform a little taste test to see just how alike the two of you are. That's all. It won't hurt a bit, I promise." She knelt in the water, slid her arms under Ryoko and gently pushed her into position. "Now wait a minute!" Ryoko yelled. "You can't do this! This isn't right! I haven't...haven't...uhhh...I...oh boy. Ohhh boy...Ohhhhhhhhhh boy...." "Well, Nagi?" Minagi asked. "Nagi?" There was no answer, just a series of moans growing ever louder and a throaty chuckle. "Hmmm. Guess this might require a bit more research. Hope the sake holds out..."