Sasami's Lemony Revenge
By The Unknown DJ

(A group of people, mostly men, enters the small theater and sit down.
The lights begin to dim. Two friends talk to each other.)

Duder: Hey man, I heard that this a pretty steamy lemon. I heard you
see Sasami naked the whole time.

Mike: Are you serious? Fully naked?

Duder: Full frontal Nudity! Everything!

Mike: All right!

(The screen turns on and the credits start rolling.)

MALICE STUCKANOVICH'S SASAMI'S LEMONY REVENGE

STARRING

SASAMI JURAI MASAKI

Audience: Yeah! All right!

TENCHI MASAKI

(The screen dims and fades into the first scene. Sasami and Tenchi are
seen sitting in the living room. Tenchi and Sasami have their backs
turned to the screen.)

Duder: I bet they're gone do it right here!

Mike: Me too, man!

Sasami: Ah, Tenchi. It's all drippy and sticky.

Tenchi: Well, Sasami, you have to hold it like this.

Sasami: It's still dripping everywhere. It won't stop!

Tenchi: Well, give it a couple of licks.

Sasami: OK. But it is so cold and hard.

Mike: No way! Dude, you know what she is gonna do!

Duder: All right hardcore action!

(Suddenly, Tenchi and Sasami turn around, both holding Popsicle's.
Sasami puts her's in her mouth and then pulls it out. The audience
boos.)

Mike: Ah man!

Duder: Totally Lame!

(The movie continues until it reaches another "special scene." Shadows
can be seen through a white sheet of Sasami and Tenchi. Sasami is lying
on her back as Tenchi is on top of her.)

Duder: Finally, some action.

Sasami: Ah, this hard. I can't keep up.

Tenchi: Do you want me to slow down? I still have more left in me.

Sasami: No, you're doing fine. In fact, I don't anyone who does it as
good as you.

Mike: Dude, this is turning me on!

Duder: I know, but the sheet is in the way.

Mike: It will move soon.

Tenchi: Oh god, this is about the best I can do.

Sasami: Ohhh, Tenchi…

Mike: Yeah!

(The sheet is moved and Sasami is seen lying in the front of the room
and close to the camera. Tenchi is the background, collapsed on the
floor.)

Sasami: …I have never seen anyone do 500 push-ups in a row!

Duder: Man, this sucks! I'm leaving!

(Suddenly, the lights flash on. Tenchi and Sasami jump out of the movie
and a short man in an Oakland A's hat, a San Francisco Giant's jersey,
and baggy jeans appears. Everyone in the audience sits perfectly
still.)

Sasami: (Enraged) What did you say?

Duder: Duh! I said this movie sucks and I am going to get a refund.

Sasami: Why does this movie suck?

Mike: Well, it's a lemon and you're a chick. You haven't even got naked
yet!

Sasami: God! What the hell is up with you people? How come every time I
show up in a lemon, I am supposed to get naked?

Tenchi: I know people think I really am in love with you, or something!
I consider you like a sister.

Sasami: And I consider you my older brother! I mean that is pretty
sick!

Mike: Hey! Who is the midget?

(The short man steps forward.)

Malice: My name is Malice Stuckanovich, I directed the film.

Duder: Well, it sucked. I mean it was made for mature audiences.
Where's the sex?

Malice: There isn't any!

(Sasami looks over at Malice.)

Sasami: Malice, what is sex? Why do they want to see it?

(Malice walks over to the Sasami and whispers into her ear.)

Sasami: Oh my god! That f*&%ing bastard!

Duder: Hey, it is a lemon!  Where's the mature content?

(Malice pulls out a Colt .45. He points it Duder and caps him in the
head. Duder falls over dead, brains spilling all over his chair.)

Malice: There's your mature content.

Mike: Hey! You shot my friend! All we wanted was to see the chick
naked!

Sasami: What did you call me?

(Sasami grabs Malice's gun and caps Mike in the head. The remaining
audience runs out the building.)

Sasami: Jeez! I never thought there were such sick people in the world!
I am not even a teenager yet, but people wanna see me naked!

Tenchi: I am sorry, Sasami. I hope we get them all. Hey, Malice! Where
is our next show?

Malice: Hahaha! The Tenchi Muyo Fanfic Archive! I bet we can find some
people there!

Sasami: But, Malice! That is a very respectable place. I mean Gensao is
a nice, cool guy. He doesn't do this kind of thing.

Malice: I know, but we have to check everywhere!

(Malice turns and looks at the reader of this fic.)

Malice: I sure hope you're not one of them! ENDZ

        So how did you like my first, "lemon" fic? I just came to prove that
kiddie porn sucks and how tired I am to see Sasami get such bad
treatment. I mean she is only a little girl, not a pornstar! Email
theunknowndjendz@yahooo.com for anything on my fics and all.
        Also, I am in my music lab, using my musical talent to do some
remixing of Tenchi tracks and other midis. If you would like to acquire
them, email. Unless you know a web site that takes these kinds of
things. Ciao!

The Unknown DJ