Standard Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Tenchi characters. This was written in fun, no profits made. And I don't have any money anyway, so don't sue. Tenchi meets an American. By: Jim Ohki. CAUTION! ENTERING S.I. FIC! There will be no Jeff mannerisms here . . . speaking of which . . . *launches a thermonuclear warhead at "Kanashii No Imi" and vaporizes it, and kills Sakuya in the process* BULLSEYE! Oh, and watch out for the lemon tree . . . *hint, hint* O_O' And just for fun, I have a lightsaber. Just for fun. Yeah, I'm a Star Wars fan. And until the translator is issued, what would normally not be in English is in parentheses. Chapter one: Boredom. The clock in Washu's lab blazed 3:15 a.m., but the owner of the lab ignored it. So much to do, and so little time to do it. Washu was in the middle of her greatest invention yet . . . an "Interdimensional Transporter". The only reason she was putting this contraption together was that Washu; the "GREATEST SCIENTIFIC MIND IN THE UNIVERSE!" was bored. -==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==- The sun shone in on Tenchi's face, waking him up. A quick look at his clock told him the time, 7:30 a.m. And in that brief moment in the morning that we all experience (you know, the whole rebooting of our brains), he realized that there were two very warm, and shapely bodies on either side of him. "Good morning Tenchi," said Ryoko and Ayeka in unison. "Good morning, my loves," was his immediate reply. And so the morning started. Sasami was way ahead of everybody as usual; already having breakfast 95% finished. The trio that consisted of the future rulers of the Jurian Empire came downstairs, ready to tackle the day. "Tenchi, could you please go get Washu for bre . . ." Sasami started to ask, only to have her question cut off by the smoke rolling out of the door to Washu's lab. There in the living room stood Mihoshi and Washu, both looking burnt to a crisp. "Mihoshi," Washu started in that voice that says, "you're in trouble", "how many times do I have to tell you? STAY OUT OF MY LAB!" With each word, she puffed smoke. "I didn't know that reversing the polarity on the . . . uh . . . primary power conduit would do THAT," whined Mihoshi, coughing while everybody else gathered sweatdrops on their heads. So, while the argument ensued, everything else went to hell in a hand basket. Chapter Two: Enter the American. "Just another shitty day. Go here, go there, pay an arm and a leg for gas," mumbled Jimmy, while listening to PM5K's "Bombshell" and smoking a cigarette. Being a 6 foot 3, 255 pound 21-year-old guy is tough. But for the moment everything seemed somewhat good for him; traffic was nonexistent, and money was actually plentiful. The digital clock in the truck radio read 3:30 a.m. And as the gods decided to play games with Jimmy's mind, they snagged the F150 moving at sixty-five M.P.H. out on I-70 . . . -==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==- Tenchi had bailed out on the fight going on at the house, and was just finishing up tending to the seemingly endless acres of carrot crop. In fact, in the five years that everybody had been living with him, the family farm had grown to almost 300 acres. And it was all nothing but carrots. "Someday, I'll have to buy a tractor," said Tenchi to Ryo-Ohki, while on the walk back to the house. About the time that Tenchi reached the road leading up to the house, he heard the most peculiar noise. (Think about it. How many Ford F150's are putting around Japan with glasspacks for mufflers?) It started as a low rumble, but got louder. Tenchi's first reaction was to look up, but there was no ship there. Then he looked back down the road, and found the source of the noise. And it was a race to the house . . . Tenchi versus the truck hauling ass up the road. -==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==- Jimmy had put his driving skills on autopilot, (Yeah, I know I shouldn't do that. But driving around Denver at 3:30 in the morning is somewhat boring) although it took him all of five seconds to realize that there was a house DIRECTLY in his path. And six angry looking people came charging out of that house, all taking up a defensive posture. "OH SHIT!" could just barely be heard as the truck went sideways, brakes locked, throwing gravel and dust at Tenchi and the gang. Once the dust had settled, everybody was startled to see Tenchi staring down the hood of the F150, and the group could hear Limp Bizkit's "Boiler" coming out of the sound system; not that they cared or understood the words coming out of the cab. "That was close," said Jimmy, cigarette hanging off his lower lip. "(Who're you?! What's the big idea?! Blah, blah, blah)," came the eruption of questions from the group at the man sitting behind the wheel, not realizing that he couldn't understand a word that they were saying. All that Jimmy could do was shake his head, not understanding what the hell was going on. All he knew was that he had NO idea where he was, and there was a group of people yelling at him in . . . Japanese? So, after shifting gears in the noisemaker, he backed up in an attempt to leave. * CRUNCH! * Right into the front end of Noboyuki's van. "GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH!" yelled Jimmy, stepping out of his truck, after shutting it off, to inspect the damage. "(What, you don't know how to drive)?" asked Noboyuki, being slow as ever to realize that the man standing in front of him was not from around those parts. "Look here bud, I can't understand a damn word that you're sayin'. So back off before I have to open a can of whoop-ass on you," said Jimmy, looking rather irritated. Tenchi and the others had heard some form of noise come from the visitor's mouth, but didn't have any idea on what he just said. But as they say, body language speaks volumes. And in this case, Jimmy's body language was shouting at them that there was violence imminent. "(Little Washu, could you help him understand us)?" asked Tenchi, wandering over to stand beside his dad. With that, Washu brought out the patented Holo-Top PC, powered by WashuSoft. Then she started typing in faster than any "normal" human could follow, and shortly thereafter, a sub-space hole opened up. And out of said hole came out a hearing aid looking device. Jimmy wasn't paying any attention to what Washu was doing, so it surprised him when he felt somebody insert something into his ear. "What the hell do you think you're doin'?!" Jimmy half asked, half yelled while spinning around to face Washu; in accented Japanese. "Please watch your language around little Sasami," asked Washu. "Whoa . . . I can understand you. Well now . . ." Jimmy trailed off. Now that he could understand them, the questions started up again. Tenchi managed to get everybody quiet then proceeded to introduce himself. "I'm Tenchi," he said, "who're you?" "My name is James, but I prefer Jimmy. Where am I?" wondered Jimmy. "Okayama, Japan," said Tenchi. "Well, I had been meaning to see the world. Anyhow, who're all of these women?" asked Jimmy. "These two are my future wives, Ryoko and Ayeka," stated Tenchi pointing at the owners of the names, "Ayeka's sister, over there, is Sasami. Mihoshi and Little Washu are over there," said Tenchi, finishing up the introductions. "Now, how did I get in Japan when I was in America twenty minutes ago?" asked Jimmy. All eyes fell on Washu, waiting for an answer. "Must have been my Interdimensional Transporter. Mihoshi just HAD to put her hands on it," said Washu, while glaring at the blonde. "Okay, how long until it's fixed?" pondered Jimmy. "At least a week," said Washu. Insert standard anime face-vault here. Chapter Three: DinnerTime. Things had gotten somewhat back to normal around the house. Their latest guest, Jimmy, had promised an explanation after dinner. He could be seen outside, working on his truck. Mihoshi had been the only one that wanted to talk to Jimmy, so out to that monster of a truck she went. Only to be greeted by the flow of obscenities coming from under the hood. "COME ON, GET ON THERE MOTHER FUCKER! WORK WITH ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" yelled Jimmy at the machinery. "Hey Jimmy, whatcha doin'?" asked Mihoshi, scaring the crap out of Jimmy. * THUMP CHINK CHI-CLANG * "OUCH! MY HEAD!" hollered Jimmy, holding his head, after smacking it on the hood, much like a certain PokeMon would. "Oh well, time for a smoke break. Did you ask me something Mihoshi?" "Yeah. Whatcha doin'?" asked Mihoshi again. "Well, I was re-tuning my truck for lower altitudes. After all, it is set up to run at around 5300 feet. And now, I'm taking a break. What's on your mind?" asked Jimmy. "Well," began Mihoshi, "Tenchi never did tell us that there are other countries on this world. Let alone," she paused, looking at the license plate," a place called Colorado." Jimmy was surprised to say the least. So he worked on figuring out a way to tell her otherwise, while taking a couple drags off his cigarette. And in Mihoshi form, she wanted to try smoking. 'O_O' -_- "Can I have a try?" she asked, indicating the cancer stick in-between his left index and middle fingers. "Sure," he said, handing it over, "just don't inhale too much, or you'll cough like mad," stated Jimmy. As she stood there, lightly smoking on his cigarette, Jimmy couldn't help but notice that this woman was . . . well, the HOTTEST woman he'd seen in quite a while. That shirt that left little to the imagination, the somewhat tight slacks, the whole shebang. And as Jimmy had discovered, Mihoshi was a seasoned smoker. At least, she appeared to be. So he just lit up another one, idly chatting away with the bombshell while working on his truck. * Now where did that damn wrench go? * wondered Jimmy to himself. "Well, let's see how she sounds," said Jimmy, moving around to the drivers side of his truck. He reached in, turned the key . . . Meanwhile . . . For shits and giggles, Ayeka and Ryoko were sparring. In the living room. And the pyrotechnics started up. Not enough to damage anything in the house, but for show. Now, keep in mind that Tenchi said he would marry both of them. This was just for fun. For old time's sake, as it were. And just as they were about to start round two, Ayeka and Ryoko heard a shout come from outside. "INCOMING!" And the window shattered, a silver object making a beeline for the kitchen. It narrowly missed hitting Ryoko dead between the eyes, as she phased just enough for it to fly through her. Then the kitchen window shattered, as the missing item of Jimmy's made itself known . . . Just after starting the engine, there was a noise. It almost sounded like something was about to come flying out . . . "Oh SHIT! Mihoshi, get down!" yelled Jimmy. Just after she did, the wrench that Jimmy couldn't find took off . . . straight for the house. "INCOMING!" yelled Jimmy, hoping that whoever was in the living room heard him. "Well, there's that wrench. I hope that it didn't hit anybody," said Mihoshi, working on her second cigarette. "Yeah. Well, the trucks tuned. Might as well go assess the damage done to the house," stated Jimmy, shutting off the engine. * She smokes, she isn't really that dumb, and above all else . . . I think Mihoshi likes me, * thought Jimmy. And so, everybody went about his (Jimmy and Tenchi installing new windows produced by Washu) or her business, until that famous call of "DinnerTime!" -==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==- At the request of Jimmy, Sasami had made an American dinner. It was her first time making goulash, but she did an excellent job as always. And after a dessert that consisted of Brownie-ala-Mode, everybody fixed their eyes to Jimmy, who was currently talking to Mihoshi. Just before Tenchi started talking, they all realized that they were seeing a rare side of the blonde . . . intelligence. "So Jimmy," started Tenchi, seeing an opening, "tell us about yourself." ". . . Okay. Well now, where to start . . . I'm twenty-one," rambled Jimmy, "I actually live in Denver, Colorado. The beast out there," indicates his truck, "is my pride and joy. Anything else?" "Tell us about America. We have not had a chance to go there . . . yet," stated Ayeka, slightly commanding. "Well, I'll try," started Jimmy, "America is a big country after all. In fact, all I really know about is Colorado. Oh, the sunsets are beautiful. Watching the sun go down behind the Rocky Mountains makes for a colorful sunset indeed . . ." While Jimmy was going into his stories, everybody listened closely. As he finished up, the group was left in awe. After the story was over, everybody dispersed about the house. Jimmy went outside to have a smoke, and was followed by Mihoshi. "Jimmy," started Mihoshi, "do you think you could give me a ride to town? I need to . . . uh . . . pick up some items." "Sure," said Jimmy, "I need to pick up some more cigarettes anyway." Jimmy and Mihoshi got into his truck. After starting it, and letting it idle for a bit, Jimmy backed up, turned around, and peeled out. So off to town they went, kicking up a lot of dust on the way. Chapter four: Night on the town. After getting on the road to Okayama, Jimmy turned his head towards Mihoshi. "Okay, now I need directions," he stated. "Just stay on this road for another twenty-five minutes," said Mihoshi. Twenty- five minutes later, the duo arrived at their destination. The good old fashioned general store, one that carries all of everybody's needs. (I'm too lazy to come up with several different stops . . . let's just say that it's like a Super K-Mart.) "Okay Mihoshi," started Jimmy, "I'm gonna get my smokes, then I'll wait for you out in the truck, okay? Just so you can shop in . . . privacy, as it were." If only he knew . . . By Jimmy's watch, Mihoshi had been in the store for almost an hour. And after trying to find some good (HA!) music to listen to on the radio, he figured it was time to go in and get her. After wandering the store for another forty-five minutes, Jimmy found Mihoshi. She had inhabited the lingerie section, and was talking to herself. ". . . Now then, what would he like more? This one . . . nah . . . oh, what about this one . . . too expensive . . .," she paused for a few moments, "Jimmy's gonna love this outfit, I just know it!" Upon hearing his name, Jimmy had made a fast retreat to the truck. That was unreal, and he could hardly contain his grin. Three years after that nasty incident, happiness was upon him . . . Chapter five: Here we go, boys and girls. The drive back to the Masaki residence had been somewhat quiet. Mihoshi kept giggling to herself, and that giggle was driving Jimmy crazy. Once the truck had been parked for the night, into the house they went. And in classic Mihoshi style, she tripped, sending her open Dr. Pepper flying at Ryoko. "Why don't you watch what you're doing, you big dumb gundark!" yelled Ryoko, her front half-covered in the soda. However, the comment had very different results than was expected. "Why don't YOU shut up, you ass suckin' mynock!" yelled Mihoshi back, getting that "Ah hell no" laugh from Ayeka, and Washu. Jimmy couldn't contain his laughter over what was being said, and was currently laughing so hard his stomach hurt. In his fit of hysterics, he slipped on some of the spilled drink and fell down. "SHIT!" he yelled on his way down. Ryoko started laughing at him, and Jimmy didn't like that in the least, "Shut the hell up, dill weed!" Not that made any sense to anybody, and what was once laughter turned into silence. Jimmy figured that what he said had no impact on the situation, so he tried a different tact. "You're the gundark," he said. And with that said, the riot commenced. Explosions everywhere, the living room turned into a battlefield from world war two. Including shouts for assistance, and medics. Mihoshi had taken some shelter in the kitchen, but the brawl (Ryoko trying to pound Jimmy, Ayeka, and Washu into the ground) soon found its way in there. Ryoko was on the war path, shooting energy blasts in every direction. One such blast was heading straight for Mihoshi's head. * SNAP-HISS * With on-the-sluggish-side reflexes, Jimmy got the blade of his lightsaber in- between the blonde's head and the shot that would have killed her, and sent that blast right back at Ryoko. She couldn't move fast enough to get out of the way, and took the blast in her left shoulder. "You take another shot at her," he growled, "and there's gonna be trouble. You hear me, gundark nut sucker?" Ryoko started to nod her head, then chucked another blast at Mihoshi. Jimmy's response was to send that blast into the same spot as the last one, then decided to try the mind trick. While slowly waving his hand from left to right, Jimmy said, "There's no need for violence. Go screw yourself." Nothing in the expression on Ryoko's face changed, but she said, "There's no need for violence," then her face reddened a little, and vanished to her room. Everybody else looked at Jimmy, wondering what just happened, slack jawed. "Just a little something I picked up," he explained on his way out to the porch. Jimmy had decided that it was time for a smoke break. Chapter six: At last, the big scene! Jimmy was out on the porch for some time before Mihoshi came outside to join him. Things had gotten quiet in the house, so she was bored. After getting a smoke from Jimmy, and then standing in silence for what seemed to be at least thirty minutes, Mihoshi spoke. "Jimmy," she started a little nervously, "would you come up to my room for a minute? I have something that I'd like to show you." "Sure thing Mihoshi. I'm getting bored out here anyway," replied Jimmy. -==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==- Jimmy and Mihoshi arrived in her room, not getting glances from anybody. The mind trick worked again, and nobody even knew they were back in the house. Mihoshi had Jimmy wait for her by the door, and she went to change behind a partition. * Damn it, * thought Jimmy, * the light is on the wrong side! I can't see what she's doin' back there! * Five minutes later, Mihoshi reappeared. In nothing but a hot pink teddy. And with that, Jimmy's jaw hit the floor. "Mihoshi . . . you look . . . wow . . ." stuttered Jimmy. He couldn't believe his luck. Here was a beautiful woman, dressed in lingerie, practically offering herself to him. But Jimmy played it cool for now. No sense in making a bad mistake at a time like this. All Mihoshi did for the first three minutes was blush, but after becoming comfortable in her new apparel, she found her voice again, "Thank you Jimmy. I had a feeling you would like it. Now, guess what?" "What?" wondered Jimmy, his voice a little strained from the view he had of Mihoshi's body. With that word uttered, Mihoshi pulled the teddy off, and was standing there in front of Jimmy naked. "WHOA! This is so cool," Jimmy said to nobody in particular. Mihoshi then grabbed Jimmy by the hand, and led him over to the bed. After slightly pushing Jimmy into a sitting position, Mihoshi preceded to rub Jimmy's crotch. With that stimulation, he had a hard-on in no time. Mihoshi then had Jimmy stand up, and stripped him of his clothes. Then she climbed up on the bed, and lay there spread eagle. Jimmy, still not wanting to upset her, hesitated just long enough for Mihoshi to have to nod her head in approval. And that was all of the encouragement that he needed. He got on the bed, and while moving over her body, lifted her legs and rested her knees on his elbows. "Just to be safe, is this your first time?" asked Jimmy, not wanting to hurt her. "No," was all she said. Jimmy then proceeded to enter her, in a slow teasing manner. Mihoshi moaned, and closed her eyes. He withdrew just as slowly, wanting to enjoy the sensations coming from her pussy. Then he let her have it, pumping in and out of her just fast enough that the sounds of sex slightly echoed in the room. Almost instantly, her moans became a constant one, and then elevated to a constant scream. Jimmy, not wanting to alert the house to their actions, reached over, grabbed a pillow, and whispered for her to scream into it. Once the noise level had gone down, mostly due to it being muffled, he started screwing her faster. Then Mihoshi had her first orgasm, and Jimmy felt what was once a slip and slide become a water slide at an amusement park. Her juices made it easier for him to go faster still, and he did. After a steady fuck, about an hour later, Jimmy felt his orgasm approaching. "Mihoshi," he panted, "I'm going to cum soon." "MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yes," she moaned. That was all it took. Not five minutes after those words left her mouth, Jimmy emptied his nuts into her pussy. She screamed into the pillow, having her sixth orgasm (my ex had seventy-five in this position). Their bodies glistening with sweat, Jimmy and Mihoshi passed out. Chapter seven: New beginnings. Nobody had said anything to Jimmy about him and Mihoshi having sex, and Washu had fixed her Interdimensional Transporter. It was almost time for Jimmy to go home, and was giving Mihoshi what he thought was a good-bye screwing. Ten minutes after they finished, Jimmy and Mihoshi were out on the porch having a cigarette. "Man, after all that's happened," Jimmy said, "I really don't want to go back. But I have a job and all, and I can't shun my responsibilities." "Well," Mihoshi replied, "you really don't have to go back alone. And it would make it so you could visit everybody here." "Just what are you implying, Mihoshi?" asked Jimmy. "I'm coming with you. I want to see the world, and America seems like a good place to start. Besides," she paused, "I love you, and couldn't stand to be missing you," came her answer "I love you too," said Jimmy while embracing Mihoshi. With that said, it was settled. Mihoshi packed up what she wanted to take, said her good-byes, and got into Jimmy's truck. Jimmy had just finished up saying his good-byes, and was walking toward his truck when Sasami hollered out, "TAKE CARE OF MIHOSHI PLEASE! COME BACK ANYTIME!" Then he got in his truck, fired her up, and took of down the road doing sixty- five m.p.h. Washu had told him that he was going back to the exact moment when he crossed dimensions, and advised him to go as fast as he was a week ago. Tenchi and the remainder of the family watched the truck vanish . . . To be continued . . . Ah, that's better. Yes, I revamped this a little. Mostly because it was the easiest thing to do, and I had to reread the story so I could work on the sequel. My MSTs, Crossovers, and the Syndicate are eating a lot of my time. Don't worry folks, I have at least sixty different fics to write and post yet, so there'll be plenty for you to read. Jim Ohki, Captain, USS Millennium Eagle, MST-1071. Founder, MST Syndicate.