Disclaimer: I don't own Tenchi. Please don't sue me for writing this little thing here. I'd like to thank Beautiful Mirage, Dark Jezter and Beagle-san for prereading this thing for me. Thanks, you guys. ^_^ ********** BEHIND THE BARS OF STEEL THAT IS MY OWN EXISTENCE Caged Within Myself ********** The crux of the issue. The world is at my feet. In here, this silence, is where I pray. Was I named 'Devil Summoner', because I could call forth demons? Or was it because I am merely a demon myself? *He* said it. *He* told me a lot things. "Death, is not something that comes with time. It is something that is handed out to lesser beings by higher beings." I handed out death. I killed people. By that logic, I am a higher being. But... here I am. I am here. In this cave. A decrepit state of ambivalence. I was defeated. To be put into this place. I was defeated to be placed into this cave. This hole. This prison. I was death. And I lost. By the logic that *he* gave to me, I should be dead. I, the superior being, was handed death. So why am I alive? Why did that other man not kill me? Is it my fate to sit here, in this darkness, this festering wound within myself that is a perpetual glance into my sorrow and ponder exactly why it is I am not worthy of death? Is that what it is? Am I simply not worthy to die? I don't understand... Why am I not dead? I am here, to learn why I exist, it seems. To find my place in this world. To be locked away in the darkness. Not to find a way out, but to find myself instead. Do I exist merely to find out *why* I exist? I think that I'm hurt. I felt it. Pain. Pain beyond pain. A searing blade that emanated an almost cadeverous light as it stood proud between my chin and my collar bone, resting through the flesh of my throat. Pain that was unimaginable. I still think that I am hurt. Wait... I... *think*... that I am hurt? Why is it that I only think this? Why do I not *know* that I am in pain? I think it has to do with what *he* once said to me. "You are a construct, Ryoko. A homonculus. A body that was made out of the power and will of human science. You are not a *human*, you are the product *of* humans. You are nothing more than artificial rhybosomes. Advanced artificial intelligence. You can repair yourself, because you are, in actuality, nothing more than merely *software*. A program that was created to be used at *my* convienience. If you doubt this, it means that you are *faulty*. Software has problems sometimes, Ryoko. Problems are wrong. They must be *fixed* immediately." I'm faulty. It must be why I am thinking this way. Why I lost. Why I am not dead. Why I *chose* to lose, so I could leave *him*. I'm a faulty program. I'm... worthless. ...No! I'm not! I'm not worthless! I'm not software! *He* told me that! I'm still alive! I'm not dead. I *should* be dead, but I'm not. *He* was wrong. But this... doesn't help me. I'm still here. In this darkness, trying not to find a way out, but to find myself. What am I supposed to do? I'm locked within myself. Where can I find the key? Where can I find the answers that let me know exactly who and what I am to myself? How can I get out of this prison? ...this prison that is behind the bars of steel that is my own existence. _____________ Author's Notes: Okay, so I can probably guess a lot of you are like... "...what the fuck was that?!" ...but hold on. This was, I'm aware, more advanced dialogue than Ryoko uses in the show. Considering, at least I think, that she is the offspring of one Washu Hakubi, I wouldn't put it past her to *think* this way. I was inspired to write this while listening to music one night. Yeah, that happens. Anyways, I thought I'd throw my little twist on the Ryoko cave situation, and see what it might have been like for her. You like this? Great! You didn't? Well... you just wasted five minutes of your life that aren't ever coming back, didn't you? (grins) Take care, everyone! Thanks for Reading. email: bhoffer7@home.com The Entry Plug