Flight of the UCC Floatage - an MSTing adventure! by Garrett Albright - albright(at)students{dot}sonoma[dot]edu ------------------------------------------------------------- (The Universal Constables Carrier Floatage cuts swiftly through space. The massive ship's launching and docking bays are closed, and most of the windows that pepper the ship's hull have no lights in them. In a small, gaudily-orange room in the lower rear of the ship stands a gangly, somewhat short 19-year-old young man with dark brown hair, brown eyes, and poor complexion. He's dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and pants of the same dull blue color. Also in the room is a computer bank, and what looks like a giant inverted metal colander hanging from the ceiling with a darker orange circle beneath it. In one corner of a room, a ladder descends vertically from a hole in the ceiling.) GARRETT: Hello, everyone. My name is Student Fourth Class Garrett Albright. I'm training for my Technology Expertise certification here on the UCC Floatage. This ship is usually busy bringing UC shuttles in, re-supplying them, giving their crew medical aid if necessary, and launching 'em back out. But the past few days, we've been passing through a rather droll, backwater part of the Milky Way Galaxy its inhabitants arrogantly call The Solar System, as if theirs is the only one out there. Since there's not much to do here, I thought I'd kill the time by getting some friends together and reading some Tenchi Muyo! fan fics. So without further ado, let me turn to the Standard-Issue MSTer's Teleporting Machine to introduce my first guest... (Garrett punches some buttons and flicks some switches on the computer bank. He then gestures toward the inverted colander-like device and flicks a final switch.) GARRETT: The lovely Constable Fifth Class, Communications Expert Weapons Expert, Miss Yeh Sair! (A young woman of twenty-three phases into existence, standing on the dark circle below the colander. She has blonde hair (with brown roots), gray eyes, and a sickeningly sweet smile. She wears a shirt and pants similar to Garrett, but hers are black with a thin bright yellow stripe tracing up each side, and she is also equipped with an equipment belt with various weapons and gadgets attached to it.) SAIR: Hi! (Her cheeks dimple as she flashes an obscenely sweet smile. She waves.) GARRETT: Actually, Sair will be co-starring in an original work of fiction I'm writing about the Universal Constables entitled, well, "Universal Constables." Keep your eyes glued to rec.arts.anime.creative... I'll post it there if I ever finish it. (He turns back toward the computer bank and begins to punch more buttons.) GARRETT: Now, for my second guest... Sair, you might want to get out of that teleporter. It's takes a while to clean up what happens when someone tries to teleport into someone else. SAIR: Oh. Okay. (She smiles again and steps aside, out of the dark circle. She then holds her hands behind her back, bounces her heels and smiles again.) GARRETT: Okay, my second guest is a dispatcher for the Universal Constables... he actually gets to tell the UCops what to do. He also makes a cameo appearance in my story. (He flicks a final switch) Please welcome Dispatcher First Class Narl Llundskaap! (A large forty-five-year-old man appears under the colander. He stands a good six-foot-six, with a stocky build. His uniform is similar, but a shade of dark orange. Upon closer inspection, you notice his skin is the same shade. He speaks in a gruff voice.) LLUNDSKAAP: Crap, Albright, couldn't you just have us walk through the door or something? (He steps out of the teleporter immediately, nearly banging his head on the colander as he does so.) GARRETT: Um... well... yeeaahhh... but- LLUNDSKAAP: And what is this crap we're gonna be readin' again? You tellin' me that people watch this cartoon, and they like it so much that they write their own stories with the characters? GARRETT: Precisely. LLUNDSKAAP: Huh... these dolts sound like they're a few solar rays away from a full charge. SAIR: Huh? GARRETT: Hey, do you mind if I just call you Narl? Llundskaap is kinda hard to type, and... NARL: Yeah, whatever. GARRETT: Thanks. (He flips some more switches and presses more buttons.) Finally, I'd like to introduce another friend of mine, this one a civilian. Please welcome Miss Jennifer Easton! (A young woman of sixteen phases into place beneath the colander. She has dirty blonde hair formed in a long pony tail, and is wearing thin, clear glasses before her brown eyes. She wears a large, black t-shirt, a tight black skirt, and tall black boots. You immediately get the impression that she doesn't give a damn what you think about her.) JENNY: Hey! (She blows a bubblegum bubble as she waves. Pop!) GARRETT: Okay, that's the crew. Are you all ready? Tonight I have selected two short Tenchi fics for us to partake. So without further ado, let's head on into the theater, shall we? SAIR: Mm-kay! (Garrett walks toward the ladder and begins to ascend it.) JENNY: Right behind ya, babe. (Pop!) (The crew climbs up the ladder and enters the theater. Narl, Sair, Jenny and Garrett (from left to right) take their seats in a row in the front.) GARRETT: Okay, our first fic tonight is entitled "Ramblings in the Night." JENNY: "Ramblings in the Night?" GARRETT: Yes. NARL: What "in the Night?" JENNY & GARRETT: "Ramblings." SAIR: "Ramblings..." JENNY, GARRETT & NARL: Mmm-hmm. SAIR: "... In the Night..." JENNY, GARRETT & NARL: Mmm-hmm. SAIR: ...huh? NARL: "Amblings in the Night!" GARRETT: No, it's "RAMBLINGS in the Night!" NARL: That's what I said! "Ramblings!" GARRETT: No, you said- JENNY: You said "Amblings." SAIR: What does "Amblings" mean? GARRETT: IT DOESN'T MATTER! (sighs in a very annoyed manner) ...Without further ado, I now present, "RAMBLINGS in the NIGHT!" (He pulls a small remote control from his pocket, aims it toward the rear of the theater, and punches a button. The fic begins to project itself on the screen in front of our crew.) |Stuff: So, my first Tenchi fanfic... How do you like it |everyone? JENNY: Donno, haven't read it yet. (Pop!) |I wrote some Sailor Moon fanfics and this one just |fleshed out one evening and I wrote it down in an hour or |something. NARL: I hope that's not an indication of quality. |One more thing: I haven't seen the OVAs yet, only |Tenchi Universe (sadly the dub) and a few eps of Tenchi in |Tokyo. GARRETT: Don't worry about Tokyo... you're not missing much. JENNY: Hey, I LIKE Tenchi in Tokyo! GARRETT: Well, it's kinda okay, I guess, if you not take it too seriously, and see it as the blend of Tenchi and Sailor Moon that it is. JENNY: Oh, come on! The whole thing with the whole family separating- SAIR: Sssshh. GARRETT: And what's up with that Sakuya chick? She's more obsessive and clingy to Tenchi than all the other girls and she looks like an albino ET, and WHO does Tenchi fall for? JENNY: Oh, come on! Sakuya's a hottie! And she does NOT obsess over Tenchi that- NARL: SSSHHHH! JENNY: -much! Remember when she talked to him after the date with Ryoko? GARRETT: The words were gentle, but the attitude was that of a stalker. Remember when she took a freakin' train at dusk to Okiyama to- NARL: (shouts) SHAA-DUP! GARRETT: ... Okay, have a cow. JENNY: (Pop!) |The characters aren't mine. The plot of this story is. :p (The whole crew sticks their tongues out at the screen in return.) | | Ramblings In The Night | by The Ghost of 'lectricity SAIR: Ooooh! NARL: Ugh. | | I can't believe it. Everything was going so well for me, my |bright future, almost in my grasp. And then... I get stuck |with her. It's all I can think of tonight. Her. GARRETT: That's Kiyone. JENNY: Duh. (Pop!) | | I was top of the academy, all the tutors assured me I would |soon reach senior officer lever. Everyone congratulated me at |the graduation ceremony. GARRETT: "Congratulations, Kiyone! Some day, you'll get to pull the Senior Officer Lever!" SAIR: Huh? |That was when I first saw her. I was |sliming up the principal's butt GARRETT: Wha? SAIR: Eww! |when someone knocked over the |table next to him. His Sunday wear was totally ruined and he |was fuming with anger. GARRETT: Do people on other planets have Sundays? |A girl knocked the table over, like me |she was wearing a cadet uniform with the festive ribbon over |her chest. She was excusing herself profusely and laughing |nervously. GARRETT: That's Mihoshi. JENNY: Duh. (Pop!) |I don't think she even knew whom she was talking |to. JENNY: (Mihoshi) "Ohmigod, Leo? You were awesome in Titanic, I saw it three hundred and eighty-eight times!" |It was hilarious, I really thought it served him right, he |was a real asshole all the years. It was strange though. NARL: Yeah, if I saw a living asshole, I'd think it pretty strange also. |The |principal just excused himself then left. Before she left she |looked at me and there was something like recognition in her |features and reaction. But that wasn't unusual, I think the |whole academy knew me. JENNY: (Mihoshi) "There's that prude Kiyone again. She is SUCH an overachiever... always setting the curve..." | | The celebration itself was another step towards the bright |future for me. But it was tainted. All congrats I got from my |classmates were cold and at most halfhearted. NARL: Good job, Jenny, ya called it! SAIR: Huh? |I didn't go to |the party afterward, I went to my quarters on the academy |grounds and slept off my champagne tipsiness. GARRETT: Tipsiness. Isn't that a fun word? Say it... Tipsiness. SAIR: Tipsiness. JENNY: Tipsiness, tipsiness, tipsiness- NARL: Shaddup. | | I glimpsed the girl at the celebration from the corner of my |eyes a few more times. She had a striking appearance and she |seemed joyfully loud. I caught myself thinking (like I do more |and more every day) that she was quite beautiful. SAIR: Uh, EWWW! NARL: Dammit, Garrett, did you get us a Mihoshi/Kiyone lemon? JENNY: Oh, you like reading 'em too? (Pop!) SAIR: EWWWW! (She inches away from Jenny.) GARRETT: Just wait and see. |She had |glorious blonde hair, that you just couldn't take your eyes |off and the most perfect figure I've always wanted. NARL: But BEFORE the reconstructive surgery... hoo boy. | | But her most beautiful feature I didn't notice until about a |week later when I met her the second time. It was her eyes. |They were big and blue and I thought I was looking into the |eyes of a child. They were shining and full of anticipation. GARRETT: If they were that big and beautiful, how come she didn't notice 'em the first time? I mean, she was RIGHT NEXT to her when she knocked over the table. NARL: Maybe she was wearing dark glasses or something. |And there always seemed to be a smile plastered on her face. GARRETT: The Spanish word for "plastered" is "aplastado", and that's ALSO a fun word to say. ÁAplastado! SAIR & JENNY: ÁAplastado! ÁAplastado! ÁApla- NARL: What the hell is wrong with you people? | | I was glad when we were assigned together. We didn't know |each other directly, we haven't spoken a word at the |celebration. GARRETT: That's the kind of sentence that would get a big red AWK written next to it by my fifth-grade teacher. OTHERS: Wha? |I was glad it wasn't any of my classmates because |I always had the feeling they were thinking ill of me. I never |had any friends in the academy. GARRETT: Loser. SAIR: Hey, that was cruel! GARRETT: Yes it was. Life is like that. JENNY: (pointing to Sair) Hey, she's not being monosyllabic anymore! (Pop!) GARRETT: Oh! SAIR: Wha? JENNY: Yeah! NARL: Ssshhh. |After the official part we |went for a coffee together to get to know each other. NARL: Yep, there IS a Starbuck's everywhere in the galaxy. |We |talked about this and that and I liked her. I more than liked |her. NARL: AAUGH! |I thought that she would be the one true friend that was |given to me. NARL: (sigh of relief) |I hadn't had anyone to talk to like this since |childhood. When I grew up I somehow couldn't make any friends |any more. But she was so open, honest and innocent. GARRETT: (Kiyone) And therefore she didn't know any better than to become my friend. | | Later I learned that the graduation ceremony wasn't as joyous |for her as I thought. She didn't have any real friends either. |She was the granddaughter of a high police officer and she |passed all the tests no matter what she wrote. JENNY: (Stupendous Man) 1492! The Battle of Lexington! Trotsky! The Cotton Gin! (SAIR and NARL wonder what GARRETT and JENNY are laughing about.) |But she had |always tried her best. She crammed long into the night, really |tried hard, forgot everything the day before the test but |still passed it. GARRETT: (Writing in the air) AWK NARL: Oh, go easy on the guy. It's been pretty good so far, for a fan fic. |She said I was her role model in her academy |days even though we never met. She was really happy when we |were assigned together and I noticed she tried to make a good |impression on me. NARL: Then I told her to put away the stamp kit. GARRETT: Was that supposed to be funny? NARL: Well, I tried. SAIR: Huh? | | Then the work began. Somehow she always managed to make all |the wrong things. JENNY: (Kiyone) No, Mihoshi! You were supposed to make a bookshelf, not a birdhouse! GARRETT: Geez, the jokes here have definitely gone downhill. SAIR: They were never at the top of the hill in the first place. (The others stare at SAIR in shock after her mysteriously sudden display of wit.) SAIR: ...What? |At first I thought she was doing it |intentionally. I got used to shouting and screaming at her, |every day, again and again. But she still gave me that |beautiful smile and that smiling look every time she looked at |me. GARRETT: One would think that the beautiful smile and the smiling look would go together. |Every time she cried because of me I promised myself I |would try to be nicer to her. But I never seemed to be able to |keep the promise. SAIR: She made her cry? Ohmigod, whadda BITCH! GARRETT: (mocking Sair) Hey, that was cruel! | | Here I am now, in the middle of the night, on this backwater |planet, assigned for arbitrary jobs, no chance of promotion. |But in the middle of the night I don't care for that. JENNY: For once. (Pop!) |This is |my time of truth. For the first few months I used to file |petitions for a new partner every week. I stopped shortly |after we got here. GARRETT: (Kiyone) Yes, I had finally run out of stamps. | | It's cramped in this apartment and we're broke all the time. |The two of us have to share the same futon. NARL: Uhhh.... |Yes, we could've |pawned something else, but when I proposed the futon she |didn't refuse. Every night she's snuggling up to me and |breathing in my ear. SAIR: Uhhh... |My bright future, I don't want to hear |any of it. GARRETT & JENNY: YOUR BRIGHT FUTURE, YOUR BRIGHT FUTURE, YOUR BRIGHT FUTURE!!! | | Too bad she can't sleep with her eyes open, I would've liked |to watch them now. What, did my wish come true? NARL: Prepare Standard-Issue MSTing Barf Buckets! (NARL and SAIR remove the buckets from under their seats and place them in their laps.) GARRETT: Just hold on, you guys. | | "Kiyone?" she asks with a sleepy voice. | | "Shh," I tell her, "go back to sleep." NARL: YES, PLEASE, GO BACK TO SLEEP! | | I too lower my head back down and close my eyes. Her arms |encircle me and she presses her body up to mine. JENNY: YEAH! Woo woo! (Pop!) (NARL tightens the grip on his bucket.) |Peace fills |my mind again and I begin drifting off to sleep. (A look of relief crosses NARL's face) | | "I love you." So it has finally been said. Although I can't |tell if she said it or me. It soothes me. Maybe everything |will change in the morning, maybe this was just a dream and it |everything will stay the same. I don't know but I'm not |scared. ALL: . . . | | End | |*** | |Peter |The Ghost of 'lectricity |lectricity@email.si |http://feather.dhs.org/chibinhotaru/ - The ChibiUsa and Hotaru |Anthology |December 30th, 2000. ALL: . . . NARL: What the hell? GARRETT: Yeah,that's what I thought when I first read it. SAIR: Uh... that wasn't that bad. GARRETT: Considering what it could have become, no, not at all... JENNY: No. Hell, it could even have been in character. (Pop!) NARL: Well, I don't know if I'd go THAT far. JENNY: Oh, come on, they're two women who live together and DON'T have a crush on Tenchi! They've GOT to be lesbians! NARL: Yeah, right, and all of the Gundam Wing pilots are gay, right? SAIR: Wha? JENNY: Yes, of course! And the Sailor Scouts- GARRETT: Okay! Moving on! Now, that last story was written with pretty good style; that Ghost of 'lectricity has obviously managed to stay awake in a few English classes. Unfortunately, this is not the case in our next story. NARL: Oh, wonderful. GARRETT: This is another one of those stories where Tenchi finally amkes up his darn mind and picks a girl. I now present, "Helping with love". (He presses a button on his remote control.) NARL: Am I going to need this? (He holds out his barf bucket.) GARRETT: Not unless complete disreguard of the widely-accepted rules and practices of the English language makes you vomit. NARL: Eh... I'll keep it handy. (He slides it back under his seat. SAIR does the same.) |Helping with love | |Notes: | |This story takes place after all of the OVA episodes are done. This |is just a continuation. Anyone is allowed to take parts of my story |without having to e-mail me about it. GARRETT: Translation: Please MST this story! JENNY: Yeah, that's what YOU thought... (Pop!) NARL: Will you get rid of that damn gum already? JENNY: No. (She pops a few times just to annoy him) | Please e-mail me if you have |any comments. Otherwise, enjoy! NARL: Okay. What's your email address? GARRETT: What's this author's NAME, for that matter? | |Disclaimer: The characters in this story are owned by AIC and Pioneer |Animation. Only Mayumi and her spaceship is my character. I do not |mean to cause any kind of trouble so please don't sue me. I want |people to just enjoy my story. The OVA series is also owned by AIC and |Pioneer Animation. NARL: Yeah, right, like Pioneer is going to sic their team of million-dollar bank of lawyers on some geeky otaku with an idea and an internet connection. JENNY: Fan-fic authors seem to be paranoid people. (Pop!) | |A mysterious figure rose out of the ground. It howl menacingly, I will |have revenge on the boy with the lighthawk sword and his pathetic |group!" with his eyes gazing at his past defeat. Around the same time |a girl in a frozen chamber awoke saying, The crowned heir is in |trouble and I must protect her." GARRETT: (busts out a pad of paper and a pen and starts scribbling down tally marks) Okay, that's one incorrect verb form, two missing quote marks, one awkward sentence, and two different ideas in one paragraph. JENNY: Oh, God, do you have to take notes? GARRETT: It's gonna be a pretty busy job pretty soon. | |It was a clear night. Tenchi looked out at the stars. Then a dark |figure diverted his attention. It was a young girl gazing at him. NARL: Slow down! Slow down! | |"Are you lost? he asked. The girl would not respond. All she did was |stare at him. He asked if she would like to come in and she nodded. |He let the girl stay for the night. JENNY: Yes, children, if a stranger comes to your door late at night, it's a good idea to invite them in to stay the night. (Pop!) GARRETT: Oh, come on, it's just a little girl. Now, if YOU came to someone's door late at night... that'd be different. |Before she went off to sleep she |mumbled to him, Good night." GARRETT: (Tenchi) What? Stop mumbling. | |The next morning he introduced her to his friends. Afterward, she |replied to their hellos, I am Mayumi." She spent a lot of time with |Ayeka and Ayeka enjoyed her company. NARL: Mayumi is a CEO? SAIR: Wha? GARRETT: Oh, the jokes go downhill again, I see. |Soon after she introduced |herself, Ryoko began to tease Ayeka about Mayumi. She taunted," |Mayumi is following you around so much it's like we have two snobby |princesses." Mayumi was angered because she did not like being |taunted so Mayumi held out her palm so that it faced Ryoko and fired a |large ball of energy at Ryoko. JENNY: There's nothing like a catfight with plasma beams. (Pop!) SAIR: Couldn't have they tried to talk it over first? |At the last second Ryoko pulled away |amazed that a little girl could have that much power. JENNY: Then he's obviously never seen my little sister on one of those really big Pixy Stix. (Pop!) GARRETT: Mmmm... Pixy Stix... SAIR: Want some? (She opens a zippered pouch on her toolbelt and pulls out a handful of small paper straws.) GARRETT: Ohmigod, Sair, you kick ass! (The whole crew partakes in some artificially colored and flavored sugar. JENNY sticks her gum underneath her seat.) |Ryoko the said, GARRETT: Huh, I thought Ryoko was a space pirate or a demon or something. I'd've never guessed she was a said. NARL: Lame. SAIR: Huh? |Your pretty good," and vanished. GARRETT: Okay, let's go over this again. "Your" is posessive, as in, "Is that YOUR whoopie cushion?" or "Please put YOUR pants back on." The word you wanted is "you're," which is the contraction of "you are." Use it thusly: "YOU'RE a geek, YOU'RE a moron, YOU'RE a crack whore." JENNY: I bet people say those things to you a lot. NARL: SSSHHH! |Later on Ayeka asked Mayumi, "Who |are you really?" The girl replied, I am Jurian. I was the heir to the |throne of Jurai about three generations ago, but my jealous brother |imprisoned me in a freeze chamber where I floated in space for |thousands of years." JENNY: Ayeka then saw her as a rival to her rightful place on the throne, and immediatley killed her. The end. SAIR: Sounds good to me. |One day she found Tenchi harvesting carrots and |asked him, "Who do you love Ayeka or Ryoko?" He blushed a bit because |the question was so personal, but he eventually responded, "I don't |know." The girl had a small grin on her face. She then said, "When |you find your true love come and tell me," JENNY: (Mayumi) I'm a licensed minister, and for a small fee... GARRETT: Dang, is this STILL the same paragraph? |and with that walked away, |and afterward left Tenchi thinking about the two candidates until he |went to sleep that night. JENNY: (Tenchi) Bush... or Gore? Bush or Gore? Dammit, they both suck! GARRETT: Agreed. NARL: Hey, we're not from Earth, much less the United States... How do we know about Bush and Gore? JENNY: Or Pixy Stix, for that matter? GARRETT: Plot hole. JENNY: Sounds good to me. | GARRETT: A paragraph break! Yay! SAIR: You're easy to please... |It had been a few weeks since the girl came. Then what she heard |earlier came true. JENNY: And what she had heard earlier was a man rambling in the street about the end of the world. The end. |The man Kagato returned to get his revenge on |Tenchi and the others. "You tried to destroyed me and now I am back to |destroy all of you!" screeched Kagato. JENNY: I don't recall Kagato having a screechy voice, do you? NARL: Nope. |He began to shoot out angry |blasts of energy. GARRETT: As opposed to the happy little blasts he usually shoots. |Sasami and Mihoshi yelled in fear and hid in a |corner of the house. Tenchi quickly summoned the Lighthawk sword GARRETT: (Tenchi) Heeeeere, Lighthawk! (whistles) Sooo-EEEEE! |and |with Ryoko went off to fight. Washu was recovering from an accident |that Mihoshi caused a few days ago. Tenchi tried his best to fight |Kagato but it seems that he was stronger than before and he couldn't |summon the armor that he had last time. JENNY: Hmmm... If I didn't know any better, I'd say that the author seems to be taking a few easy ways out. GARRETT: You don't know any better. NARL: But where's Ayeka? |Boom! A shot hit Ryoko in the |stomach. She soon fainted because of the loss of blood and fell to the |ground. JENNY: No! Ryoko can't be taken out by something so pansy-ish as blood loss! That's a WEAK way to be taken out! NARL: Now, I haven't seen every Tenchi episode, but if I recall correctly, Ryoko has been hit by quite a few blasts of energy, and it's never broken her skin before. |Tenchi couldn't get to her because of Kagato's attacks. Ayeka |tried her best to make sure that none of the blasts harmed Sasami and |Mihoshi. Then boom! A shot hit Tenchi in the arm and he fell to his |knees in pain. GARRETT: Why would a shot in the arm cause him to fall to his knees? SAIR: Well, maybe he's in so much pain that- NARL: My lady, there is only one injury someone can give a man that will cause him to immediately fall to his knees in pain, and it is NOT a shot to the arm. (GARRETT winces at the thought.) |Ayeka began to run over to him when another shot was |zoomed at an incredible speed at Tenchi. There was no time to think |about it. Ayeka jumped in and took the shot head on. Next thing she |knew she was in so much pain she felt like she could die. NARL: Slow down, dammit! |Tenchi was |surprised when Ayeka fell into his lap after the shot. He never |thought that she would ever do something like that for him. JENNY: Why not? It was in character for her to do that... GARRETT: Agreed. |Kagato |laughed because she had sacrificed herself. In the distance Mayumi's |anger built up because of the blast. She released it in a great rage |of light. Soon she had on a Jurain kimono instead of earth clothes. |The sleeves were a light pink that were triangular shaped. GARRETT: Finally! A girl that gets dressed QUICKLY, for once! (JENNY slugs him in the arm.) |When it got |to her hands it was down to her feet. ALL: Huh? SAIR: Wow, you guys did it with me that time! |the rest of her outfit was made |out of pastel colors too. The end of her kimono was trailing behind |her because it was very long though the kimono fit her perfectly. She |quickly aimed her own attack and fired. He laughed at her and tried to |deflect it. Instead it electrified him and knocked him out. JENNY: Mayumi's a Pikachu! GARRETT: Ugh... No more DorkŽmon referenecs, please. NARL: So Kagato is taken out that quickly, eh? Say it with me now, folks... ALL: SLOW DOWN! |She |summoned her spaceship named Tenchi (go figure) GARRETT: Yeah, go fig. JENNY: Who'da thunk. |and took the frozen |chamber from her ship. She then encased Kagato and locked him in |there. Meanwhile Tenchi was begging Ayeka to hold on. Mayumi knelt by |Ayeka and transferred some energy into her. JENNY: Why didn't she just give Ayeka a Pixy Stick? |Ayeka slowly opened her |eyes and stared into Tenchi s soft, worried brown eyes saying, "I'm |glad your safe Lord Tenchi." GARRETT: Okay, once again. "Your" is posessive, as in- NARL: That really bugs you, doesn't it? GARRETT: Yup. | GARRETT: (Poor "Crocodile Hunter" accent) And here we see the rare paragraph break, standing alone in the wild. Unfortunately, paragraph breaks are an uncommon sight in this fanfic. |Everyone who was hurt during the battle was recovering. Meanwhile, |what Ayeka did left Tenchi thinking do I love Ayeka or Ryoko? He |thought about how Ayeka had just saved him from the attack and about |how Ryoko always seemed to be there for him. Tenchi then made his |decision and got up. JENNY: Seems like kind of a petty thing to think about after helping rid the universe of an evil, destructive force for the second time. GARRETT: Yeah... they say not to make important decisions in times of stress, ya know. SAIR: Aren't we supposed to be telling jokes? JENNY: I'm trying, dammit! |He slipped into their room and she looked at him |saying,"What is wrong Lord Tenchi?" He walked up to the purple haired |Jurain and kissed her right on the lips. JENNY: (Ayeka) What the hell are you doing, Tenchi? You thought I had a CRUSH on you or something? What the hell made you think that? |She blushed a very dark |Crimson on her cheeks. He told her, "I love you because you are a |kind, caring, and a very brave person. GARRETT: Never mind that Ryoko was the one that went off to fight by Tenchi's side in the first place. |Mayumi stood at the doorway |while the couple kissed and said happily, "Another wonderful couple." JENNY: ...Is that it? GARRETT: Yup. NARL: Good. JENNY: Now, the STORY in that one wasn't too bad... GARRETT: Yeah, too bad it was written so poorly. NARL: What are your tallies on the errors in the fic? GARRETT: I donno, I lost count halfway through. (He holds up the pad to show the mess of tally marks on the page.) JENNY: Hey, don't be so hard on 'em. It was a good story... it just needed a little polish. NARL: The author was going waaay too fast... slow down and let the story find a pace. GARRETT: And there's no reason to feel shame in having your stuff proof-read... a spelling-checker is a good tool, but it can only do so much. Any other comments? NARL: Yeah. Why was it that the second story was shallower and written more poorly than the first, but it was easier to make jokes about the first one? GARRETT: Good question. SAIR: More Pixy Stix, anyone? GARRETT: Good answer! (The crew each picks a straw from SAIR's hand.) GARRETT: Well, that's it for now. So long from all of us on the UCC Floatage. See you next time... if there is one. (He rips open an end of his straw and pours a pile of colored sugar onto his tongue.) ------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you all for participating on the first and quite possibly the last MSTing voyage of the UCC Floatage. MSTing was both harder and more fun than I was expecting it to be... If you are the Ghost of 'lectricity, or the mysterious author of the second story, please take these parodies in the context they are given... just silly fun. The comments made by my characters at the end of the stories reflect my own thoughts on the story; thus I thought both of them were not that bad. This MSTing was written by me, Garrett Albright. Jennifer Easton, Narl Llundskaap, and Yeh Sair are all characters of my creation (although Jenny and Sair are based on real-life friends of mine (and yes, I DO have some!) to varying degrees). Feel free to distribute this mess freely. I take no responsibility for the content on the web site of the Ghost of 'lectricity. >ahem< Complimentary comments? Constructive criticism? Curious Cuestions? (Intentional typo.) Contact me via one of the methods below. Have a nice day. -Garrett Albright albright(at)students{dot}sonoma[dot]edu XNS: Albright AIM: Albright Guy