No need for conquest MST GRAFFITO TAG-Aayy, humor lovers. Back with the crew that knows funny. AAA PHUCKNUT-And its about DAMN TIME! Sir J-Hey, calm down! You're harshin my mellow. AAA-Yeah, marshmallows rock. GT-Uh...anyway, check it out. What do you get when you give a 5 year old a Tenchi Muyo video, a computer, and a Playboy? AAA-The upbringing of the average Canadian kid? GT-Yes, BUT you would probably get something similar to Michael Bearden's fanfics*. *any resemblance to a real fanfiction is merely coincidental. GT-Last time we left Extream, he was just meeting the uh...Tenchi..people or whatever. That has nothing to do with this fic at all, but I figured I would mention it. Rewrite 2 Heres the webpage to the Bio of Extream http://members.tripod.com/mbearden2k1 Once again the Tenchi Characters Do not belong to me. They belong to AIC and Pioneer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~No need for Conquest!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GT-I think I'll take this time to suggest that the reader turn on some sort of heavy metal soundtrack. It'll make the fic better. AAA-Or better yet, that music that plays when Benny Hill is running around in fast motion. GT-Oh yeah, that makes everything funny. SJ-What about..uh...chainsaw murders? AAA-Don't be stupid! You know it would! GT-Especially if it was in fast motion. SJ-Heh heh, oh yeah. "Okay Kagatos ship is just 500 space Miles away from us." Michael said AAA-Space miles eh? This fic is off to a good start. "So Zedd it looks like Were going to have to battle again. This time I won't let you live. Make the last moments of your life count Zedd." Michael though SJ-Count Zedd...isn't he the one who hangs out with FrankenBitch? GT-I love those cereals. "Well there it is the Soja 2. Man it looks so much bigger than the one that I saw on the news 5 years ago. Michael thought amazed much bigger and more penis like, mmmm, he thought AAA-Did I read that right? GT-Haha! I totally added that! SJ-I wasn't fooled. Extream would have spelled penis with a #. "There's something about Michael that I just can't figure out." Ayeka thought while looking at the stars. AAA-It's what no one can figure out-Is Michael a 'special child', or is he just illiterate? SJ-Yes. AAA-... "Okay everyone there is a secret compartment on this ship that is also an escape vessel GT-That's ingenious! Why don't more places have secret emergency exits? AAA-What's the big deal? My car has a secret airbag. if I don't come back activate these escape pods they'll transport you back to G.P. head quarters this is the only thing that I could thank of in case I fail. GT-Tenchi-Uh, that's great Michael, but couldn't I go home instead? AAA-You'd thank that he would have failed enough to come up with atleast one good escape plan. The escape pods is on the second door on the right activate them with the key code. Here is the code 4-3-5-7 got that Mihoshi!" Michael said to everyone. SJ-Point one-the secret emergency escape pods are 'right over there'... GT-Point two-He addresses Mihoshi with the secret code, and also, everyone. AAA-Point three-Donkey Kong is an anagram for Konk ye Dong. "Tenchi are you sure that you want to go through with this?" Michael asked SJ-Michael-Is it your first time, Tenchi? "Yes I've dealt with Kagato before. And I can beat him again?" Tenchi said GT-And he can beat him again? SJ-Tenchi's so confident, no wonder he gets so many chicks. "Okay but he did train Zedd and Pashint to be more powerful than me." Michael said while walking back to the cockpit area of the Excaliber MM. "Maybe I'll just call this one off." Tenchi said sitting back down with the girls. SJ-Good idea. The world doesn't need to be saved this time. Then Something happened AAA-LIAR!! GT-Is Something another name for the stupid enemies? AAA-If it were, it would be spelled wrong. SJ-What if Something teamed up with the Uhpokolispic Hourceman? the Soja 2 started fireing at the Excalliber MM. "Here we go! I'm going to try to hit the Outside entrance so I can have a better way to get inside." Michael said EVERYONE-..... AAA-There may be no wrong way to eat a Reeses penutbutter cup, but if Michael Bearden tried, I bet he'd find one. "Computer give me a full visual of the Soja 2!" Michael said commanding the computer. SJ-The computer is his love slave. GT-Michael-Give me the full visual, bitch! Or its the cattle prod! "There is no information our visuals for the Soja 2!" The computer explained to Michael. AAA-Why do they need a visual its RIGHT THERE! He was just looking at it. GT-Michael-Computer, give me a full visual of my ass, I need to wipe. SJ-Michael-Computer, I need the technical specs on my hands, I've forgotten how to use them. "Fine I'm going to damge his ship so you have a chance to escape!" Michael said SJ-Michael-Okay, I've tried everything I know, so now me hit the big thing with the thing. You run. AAA-So they don't have any chance to escape unless Michael does a kamikaze into the side of the Shoja...I wish that happened more often. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Soja2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "There's the Excaliber MM Our the Excaliber Millenium. Activate weapon destabelizers! Point the Weapon destabilizer at the Excaliber MM now! FIRE!!" Kagato said giveing the Soja 2 the command to Disable the Excaliber MM! GT-Holy cowballs! All those exclamations make me feel like a part of the story! How exciting!!! AAA-I think I just destaybeliced in my pants. "Direct hit the Excaliber MM's Weaponry cannot fire back." The computer said GT-It just occured to me that the second M wasn't explained. SJ-Excaliber Millenium Mo betta spaceship ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Excaliber MM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Oh no I was too late. Just Take the the rest back to earth! But first Transport me to the Soja 2." Michael said AAA-The weird capitalization in this makes me think it wasn't meant to be a story, but maybe a poem or interpretive dance. "Extream transformation!" Michael said transforming into Extream V.3 "Kagato it's my turn to teach you not to mess with the Earth!" Extream said pissed! AAA-And Phucknut said ass. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The entrance to the Soja 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Computer have you left yet?!" Michael asked his computer! SJ-computer-No, I'm right here, you dumb fuck! GT-I'm glad that they yelled the fact that he asked his computer something, otherwise I might have missed it. "Yes The masaki family was sent home." The wrist watch said. AAA-He's fucking talking to his watch now. SJ-It's the only thing that hasn't told him to go to hell. GT-Wanna bet? AAA-watch-The time is 3:56 and Michael, bite my knob. "Geeze I hope that Jason gets here. I'm stuck with no ride." Michael thought "Let's see all paths lead to him so I'm going to chose this path." Michael Thought AAA-Michael-Hmmm...if EVERY path leads to him...damn....I think I should...uh...wait..what if Uh....*drool* Michael started flying through the Corrdors of the Soja2 Until he saw a familure figure. SJ-I can forgive the lack of editing in this fic, after all, Extream is too busy being the KING OF SEX! AAA-This fic makes me blow my man chowder! "I'm your first opponent Michael ready to get your ass kicked?!" Pashint said powering up. AAA-Michael-I'm always ready! "Oh by the way Extream in order to get to me you got to destroy three of my minions Pashint,Zedd and a secret fighter that I just Revived I hope that I get to spill your blood all over the ground." Kagato said while in his holograph form. GT-Michael-Mommy! Kagato spilled my blood! SJ-Mom-Now Michael, you know that I'm not made of blood! You should have been more careful. "Let me start first by saying that I got a secret weapon that I'm about to use!" Michael said while powering up to Super Extream. "Oh realy? What is this secret weapon of yours im interested in that. Pashint said AAA-You know, I can't help but notice that this isn't related in any way to Tenchi. GT-It's called bait and switch. AAA-I thought 'bate and switch was when Michael changes away from the gay porno channel before his parents see him jerking off. "YOu asked for it! Hyper Extream mode!!!" Michael said "Platinum energy started glowing around Extreams body makeing the ship shake. GT-Uh, we have vanilla and strawberry... "NO WAY YOU CAN'T BE THAT POWERFUL IT'S IMPOSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pashint said scared SJ-No! It can't be posed at all! AAA-No one can be that powerful. "Your power level is 60,000,000 and mines only 50,000,000" Pasint said while scanning his P.L. "Prepare to meet your demise." Michael said Michael started punching and kicking Pashint at radical speeds. "Oh no my power level is now 60,000 Aghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!" Pashint said SJ-Wow, it's so exciting, I'm going to do this mad lib! GT-I want that when you're done with it. "I call on Sword Justice!!!!!" Michael said "Please have pity on me?!" Pashint asked groveling at Michael's feet. "I'm sorry but I don't forgive evil!" Michael said AAA-Good thing he's such a damn nice guy GT-Lets just be glad he'll forgive goodness. And just as he finished talking. Michael chopped off pashints head makeing blood squirt everywhere. GT-Wait...Pashnit didn't even do anything to him. AAA-He's just a murderous bastard. "No Pashint! He can't be dead that quickly?" Zedd thought in disbelief. "Zedd your next!" Kagato said "No I don't want to go! I'll get killed! Extream has a bigger power level than me!" Zedd said walking backwards to the door. AAA-Kagato-That's not the only thing of his that's bigger than yours. GT-So that's what made him the KING....OF SEX!! "Suit yourself." Kagato said holding his hand up pointing it towards Zedd. "What are you doing? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Zedd said Screaming. AAA-How loud do you have to scream to deserve that many exclamation points? Kagato shot a power ball straight through Zedds Stomach making him explode. "What a waist. AAA-Yes, what a sexy, sexy waist. GT-Boioioioing! Two of my Minions destroyed. "I'll send out the Dragos King." Kagato said "Come fourth Dragos!" Kagato yelled. A man with white hair and a dragon staff appeared before Kagato. GT-Kagato-Dammit Dad, get back into your cage. I wanted Dragos! AAA-Old guy-But Kagato, I'm your father, you should be giving me money to buy shitty Hawaiian shirts and hookers! "Destroy Extream please.Remember when he killed your wife don't you want revenge?" Kagato asked the king. GT-Damn, who's the villain here? These guys were just minding their own business until Extream waltzes up and starts killing wives and crashing things into stuff. AAA-You talk like he's a normal human, but everyone knows that he's EXTREAM! "Yes and who's that in the container over there?" Dragos asked GT-Kagato-Uh, Dragos, there's no one in there, that's my KoolAid. AAA-I wonder who would win in a fight between KoolAid man and Mr.T. GT-Pphhhht, that's stupid. Everyone know's they're the same person. "That would be the most deadliest being Heavenshockpent. He's the last challenger for Extream to challenge before he can go against me! GT-I'll ignore that stupid name, but wouldn't that make 4, not 3 enemies for Extream to face? AAA-He must have that disease where you can't count correctly. GT-Brain herpes? AAA-Yeah, that's it. "Well who's my next enemy to fight?"Extream thought He finnaly got to the next chamber. "I'm waiting Kagato!" Extream said frustraited and bored. SJ-Hey, I'm finished with the mad lib! AAA-Lets see how it turned out...'Tenchi felt shitty for assing in Ryoko's shit, but made up for it by nutsack carresing Ryokos nacho...' Wait... GT-That was more interesting than the entire Extream saga. AAA-How can you do this by yourself and still have it turn out so stupid? GT-Yeah, nutsack isnt an adverb. "Remember me you killed my wife now I'm going to kill you!!" Dragos said. "Holy shit! It's Dragos the king of Dragons!" Extream said shocked and confused. "Ha Ha Ha the great Kagato destroyed Zedd. Then he summoned me to get you know I finaly get my revenge!!!!" Dragos said holding and pointing his dragon Staff at his self! SJ-Dragos' play by play brought to you by Redundant. GT-And also by Snickers, taste the rainbow. "Dragos transformation!!!" Dragos said transforming into a giant GT-Cookie dough blizzard! SJ-Flat chested lesbian named Ivanna! AAA-Thingamabob! SJ-What? AAA-Sorry, I choked. dragon! "Damn he's bigger than his wife was!" Extream thought GT-Oh, NOW it gets to the lemon part. SJ-Bow wow wicachicka bow wicky wow wow. AAA-Extream-Oh Dragos, what a big tail you have. SJ-Dragos-All the better to get it on! Dragos started charging up a energy blast the size of a basket ball goal! GT-It's always some shitty ball or something. Why not an energy blast the size of a hockey puck or baseball bat? "Shield Infanity!" Extream yelled summoning the golden shield. SJ-Why does he want a baby shield? GT-I'm tired. Someone make up a pedophile joke for me. Dragos's energy ball started flying towards Extream! The ball hit Extreams shield makeing Extream fly 10 Ft. away from Dragos! AAA-This is makeing me pissed. "My god that was close. I got to be....." Extream thought before Dragos hit him in the side with his tail. Extream flew 20 ft. hitting the side of the corridor makeing a body print. GT-Is anyone still thinking about Ryoko's nacho? AAA-Is that like half a taco? GT-With sour cream and cheese. AAA-...thats fucking gross man. I LOVE IT! Wooooo! "Damn my powers are fadeing." im now 60,000,000." Extream thought looking at his power level. SJ-*sigh*-Where the shit is he seeing his power level? AAA-His powers are fadeing, and that's makeing him Hulluxinate. Dragos transformed back into his first form! EVERYONE-DAMMIT! AAA-No wonder Extream isn't dead. He's fighting against the remedial villain class. GT-They practice by watching Barney and writing haikus. "HA HA HA HA! I'm just too powerful for you Extream" Dragos said. "That's it you really pissed me off!!" Extream said yelleing. This time a rainbow like energy was emulating off of Extreams body! SJ-Damn! That rainbow energy is making illegal copies of software! GT-That...sick FUCK! SJ-I guess Dragos should have remembered that when you kick Extreams ass, be sure not to engage in light taunting. That really pisses him off. "Nooooooooo!!!! whered he get that kind of energy!!!!!" Dragos said scared! SJ-It seems that everyone who was reading the fic started to believe in the power of friendship. GT-Damn friendship. It's killed countless supervillains! "This is my angel form!!!" Extream said 2 sets of wings appeared on Extreams back! "I call on Sword Omega!!!!!" Angel Extream said! AAA-DID ANYONE EVER WATCH THAT SHOW 'THE CHAMBER'??!!! SJ-NO! AAA-ME NIETHER!! GT-THAT CHICK ON FEAR FACTOR HAD A NICE RACK THOUGH! "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! you'll blow us all up!" Dragos said. "What tha hell is that?!!!!!" Kagato thought! GT-When Kagato thinks, it deserves an exclamation point. SJ-When Michael Bearden thinks, it deserves a government study on why hell froze over. "No one can Emulate that kind of power he's more powerful than Tsunami!" Kagato thought scared. "I may be able to use him!" Kagato thought. SJ-Kagato thought, now less scared for some reason. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Deep Space!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AAA-DAMN! DEEP SPACE! FUCK ME WITH A BROOMSTICK, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING! "What is going on? That power is incredible!!!" Jason thought "That must be were Michael is!" Jason thought speeding towards the energy flow! GT-...was a bad idea! And so decided to go to McDonalds to finish his collection of Powerpuff Girls toys. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Soja 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tsunamis theme plays! SJ-He must be under the impression that saying that will make Lucky the Leprechan jump out of my ass and start singing, cause I'm not hearing a damn thing! "You will not survive this!" Angel Extream said! GT-Wanna bet Graffito Tag said! Michael started useing both his hands forming two swords. Sword Justice and the other Sword Omega! "No way that's impossible his powerlevel is 1billion and still going!" Kagato screamed! Extream took his helmet off and threw it towards the ground! GT-Uh oh. Dragos hurt Extream's feelings. He doesn't want to play anymore. SJ-On a totally related and relevant subject, do you think that those Marshmallow cake things on 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' were real products? Michaels eyes glown blue even his pits were blue! AAA-Too much antiperspirant. GT-Doesn't he know that Sure goes on clear and keeps you dry all day? AAA-Doesn't he know how to use a comma? GT-Touche Michael held up both swords and they formed into the ultimate sword. Sword Avanger! Michael started to run towards Dragos cutting him in half! SJ-Damn! He's so extream that all he has to do is start to run and his enemies fall before him! GT-No one will escape the awesome power of his aerobic exercise! "I can't beleave that I the Dragon king is dead!" Dragos said before splitting in two and exploding! SJ-That's deep, man. Contemplating his own death. GT-And how about that dramatic line 'I can't beleave that I is dead!' AAA-It almost brings a tear to my ass. Michael started decreasing his power to V.4 again. "Wow that's the first time that I wen't angel form!" Extream thought GT-So how the hell did he know about it? AAA-It was uh....Elmo....of the future! Michael finaly made it to Kagatos Main Chambers only to find Kagato playing the Organ "Welcome to my chamber had fun." Kagato said. SJ-'had fun'-Thanks for the greeting. AAA-Kagato-Would you like a cold beverage had fun? A grilled cheese maybe? "Well let's see? Yeah I had fun killing two of the most powerful life forms."Extream said "Well things our about to get even more better." Kagato said laughing evily! SJ-Extream doesn't respond to things like 'grammar' and 'language'. AAA-His powers have evolved beyond such limitations. SJ-But even he isn't impervious to feminine itching. "What are you up to? Is there one more that I have to kill?!" Michael said "Well of coarse he's hovering over us right now." Kagato said looking up. "What tha hell there's nothing up there." Michael said looking for the other fighter. "You fool never trust a space pirate!!!" Kagato said punching Extream in the stomach. GT-How educational! AAA-Remember kids, when a space pirate tells you to 'look over there' during a fight-DONT DO IT! SJ-Kagato forgot about his plans to 'use' Extream pretty quickly. "UGHHHH damn that was a powerful punch!" Extream said feeling his stomach! AAA-Powerful Punch..that sounds like the flavor of a fruit snack. SJ-So does Michael Bearden. GT-The dis is up..and its good! Kagato summoned his sword and started to fly towards Extream. Kaching Kaching! GT-MONEY! AAA-The AIC lawyers must be thinking about how much money they're going to get. GT-I don't think they can sue him for the fic dude. AAA-No, but I'd pay to see them kick his ass. SJ-Like Pride fighting, only I give a damn. "Aghhhhhhh!" Kagato yelled "My shoulders!" Kagato yelled! SJ-First he yelled, then he YELLED! Thats why it had to take 2 paragraphs to explain it. AAA-Aah, I see. "That we'll teach you not to mess with my friend!" The man said! "Jason is that you?" Michael asked the man! "Yes looks like you could use some help!" Jason said! GT-Extream-No it doesn't, I'm winning easily, dummass! AAA-Extream calling someone a dummass is like the pot calling the ganja dope. SJ-What? "Alpha Transformation!" Jason yelled turning into Alpha unit! AAA-If Jason's the alpha unit, does that make Extream the 'beta member'? GT-Haha, member. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!! Not two freaks This can't be happening to me!" Kagato said trying to get up. Kagato ran to towards HEavenshockpents Capsule! "Ha let's see you survive the ultimate being Heavenshockpent!" Kagato said! "No not him not Heavenshockpent!" Jason said scared! SJ-Heavenshockpent? GT-Heavenshockpent! The Capsule started opening up and reveiling a 7Ft. clown with Red Hair Black Eyes and yellow baggy pant's AAA-I'd be shocked if I wasn't so indifferent. GT-Considering who wrote the fic, I'm guessing that the clown has about the same chance of winning as a one legged man in a 'Have two legs' contest. "Heavenshockpent take care of Extream!" Kagato said "No I refuse to be controlled by a weak P.L.!" Heavenshockpent said! "How dare you defy me I summoned you!" Kagato said SJ-Thats funny, all I remember is Kagato running toward a capsule that mysteriously opened. AAA-I wonder if Kagato and Heavenshockpent will settle their dispute over a match of 'Harry Potter Card Game'. GT-That would be more interesting than what's going to happen. "I'm not going to do it!" Heavenshockpent said "Fine than take this!" Kagato said chargeing up an energy blast Heavenshockpent evaded the attack! AAA-He's so powerful, he evaded an attack that didn't even exist! SJ-How will Extream make it out of this one? GT-He'll call upon something with lots of exclamation points and Heavenshockpent will be surprised, then die! "You made me mad now I'm going to destroy you!" Heavenshockpent said! GT-It's almost funny if you imagine the gay clown saying that in a wacky voice. SJ-Heavenshockpent-Wahoo boys and girls! I'm gonna rip out your spleen and feed it to my dog! Golly Gee Jimminy! "No you wouldnt!" Kagato said. Heavenshockpent started chargeing up an energy blast the size of a ballbering. The energy ball wen't into Kagatos stomach and Heavenshockpent closed his hand makeing Kagato Explode! GT-I'd insult the stupidity of that line, but Michael Bearden just seemed so damn excited about it. SJ-Like it was a huge accomplishment. AAA-Michael-Mommy wow! I'm a big kid now! The only thing that was left of Kagato was his glasses! "Aghhhh no way Kagatos power level is gone!" Jason And Michael said at the same time! "I thank I'll take care of you Jason!" Heavenshockpent said. "No you won't!" Michael said pissed GT-Michael-Oh no you di-int! AAA-Michael-He's MAH man! SJ-Does anyone else remember him saying that he wasn't going to fight them? "You invaded my dreams and haunted me for way too long now it's time to send you back were you came from!" Michael said chargeing up to Angel Mode! SJ-Invaded his dreams? Was there some kind of back story here? AAA-I think I can cover it-When Extream was in sixth grade, he found a certain clown being quite attractive. Whenever Heavenshockpent was near, he felt his heart beat and his extreamhood grow. Since then, he couldn't get his mind off of his one true clown love. GT-I'd find that more humorous if I didn't think it was probably true. SJ-The idea of his extreamhood isn't that great either. "I can play that to!" Heavenshockpent said chargeing up! "What four wings?! No way and their black!" Michael said SJ-No way? Four wings? Now that's just crazy! GT-Extream's really in for it now. He's gonna get flapped to death. AAA-This is getting retarded Phucknut said pissed! Heavenshockpent started flying towards Michael! They both started punhing and kicking each other in an awesome speed! They stoped than started back up again! SJ-Don't stope in the middle of a battle! What's wrong with you? "WHat tha hell? Why doe's Michael have wings!" GT-I'm going to go with...his mom fucked a flying monkey! AAA-Good answer, good answer! SJ-Show me-'mom fucked a flying monkey'! *Bing* Number one answer!! Jason thought! AAA-And the world stood silent at this miracle. "It's time to end this Super angel spirit attack!" Extream Yelled! In an awesome flash Heavenshockpent was sliced in half! "Ha remember I got tha power to recreate my body!" Heavenshockpent said growning his lower half back! SJ-Recreate his body? Like...with a vacation? GT-Everyone's body needs recreation sometimes. "Take this! Heavenhockpent ray!" Heavenshockpent said releasing a line of energy straight to Michael. AAA-That's funny, he seems to have misspelled 'ball' as 'line'. GT-It's the only explanation. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jason said jumping into the rays path! "NOOOO!!!!!! Jason!" Michael said! "Please we need to combine both of our powers!" Jason said trying to get up! GT-From what? AAA-Are they still waiting for the energy line to hit Jason? SJ-I'm still trying to figure out why Extream has so many damn transformations that don't actually DO anything. "That's it! Fusion!!!!!!!!!" Michael and Jason yelled! Michael and jason started merging with each other! GT-Good thing I have no idea what either of them look like. I don't want to think about them merging. AAA-We've dodged a bullet with this one. and Makeing him AlphaExtream Our Michson! SJ-I'm guessing that's a mistake, but I'd be expecting too much. AAA-He's AlphaExtream Our Michson dude, what's the problem? "Now you will pay for hurting Jason and killing my mother!" Michson Said! GT-Did I miss something while I was in the can? Michson started holding his hands up in the air forming the Holy Blast! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" HEavenshockpent yelled SJ-He sure did. "Holy Blast come fourth destroy the Evil Demon known as Heavenshockpent!" Michson said! AAA-Holy Blast-Not now, I'm watching my stories. SJ-Holly Blast...isn't that a porn star? The Soja2 was completely submerged into a bright ball of Energy and the Soja 2 exploded! GT-Whuh ohhh! SJ-Has anyone noticed that this really isn't the lemon it claimed to be? GT-What do you mean dude? It's full of ejaculations, like "Holy shit!" and "NOOOOOO!!!!!" AAA-And "Michael, put your damn clothes back on, the neighbors are starting to complain!" The only thing that was left was Michson in a Oxygen orb! "There's Jasons ship better head towards it before the Oxygen orb vanishes!" Michson said "Defusion!" Michson said turning Jason and Michael back into two bodies! "God this injury is killing me!" Jason said GT-Technically, his bleeding is killing him, the injury just helped it along. "Oh come on we got to get back to Earth!" Michael said "Okay but im hurt pretty badly and I'm starving!" Jason said "Man That was a Long battle you should have been there!" Michael told Jason! "I'll get you fixed up in a jeff!" Michael said AAA-Who's jeff? SJ-He's who choosey moms choose. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back on Earth!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So I wonder if Michael defeated kagato!" Tenchi wondered! AAA-Ryoko-I DONT KNOW TENCHI, PROBABLY! GT-Ayeka-AFTER ALL, HE IS EXTREAM! AAAAAHHHHHH!!! "I can't detect Kagato." Ryoko said SJ-That makes sense because you know, she uh...never could. GT-She meant to say 'I can't erect Kagato', SJ-Oh. "Than he actually destroyed Kagato and those other 2 monsters." Washu said Happily GT-3 AAA-Dummass. "What is that sound?!" Ayeka asked "It sounds like a ship and it's getting awfully loud!" Tenchi said Everyone herd a loud crash! "Michael that ship coasted me 100,000 Jerai!" Jason yelled SJ-Why the flying fuckopath would Jason have used Jerai? Wasn't he like, from some other planet or something? AAA-Yeah, but he sucks so much, you could swear he was a real Tenchi character. "Oops sorry about that remember the Earth don't have a Beacon!" Michael said AAA-I wish I had a double beacon cheese burger. SJ-Yeah, that Wendy chick is hot. "We'll ready to walk?" Michael asked Jason "I guess. I hope I can fit in being from the planet Alpha." Jason said GT-He must have a pretty tight schedule. SJ-Wow, great play on words that no one will understand. GT-Screw you. "You'll fit in just fine you look like your from Earth." Michael said "Yahoo Michael over here!" Ryoko said waveing at Michael "Who's the little guy?" Ryoko asked "This would be my partner Jason." Michael said GT-His 'long time partner', if you know what I mean. AAA-They've worked together for years? GT-Exactly! "Nice to meet you Ryoko." Jason said "How do you know my....oh yeah that's right you tried to arrest me once so I forgot!" Ryoko said AAA-Ryoko's been taken over by Mihoshi. GT-I read a fic like that once. I wish it was a real episode. SJ-You do mean take over like, sexually right? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Later at the Masaki house~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Thanks for the Dinner and thanks for takeing care of Jasons wounds." Michael said "Your welcome. SJ-Now get out. Tell me something why did it take so long to battle kagato?" Washu and Sasami asked. AAA-Extream-Well Sasami, I'd like to tell you all about it...in my bedroom. GT-Sasami-Are you going to have sex with me? AAA-Extream-Is that like when I yell and beat my head against the wall? "It took you three days!" Tenchi said "Three days! Holy shit! I forgot that when your in space times goes by like the wind!" Michael said GT-I don't think that three days deserves a Holy shit. AAA-Yeah, maybe a 'three days? Oh, okay'. SJ-Maybe he has touretts syndrome. "Well there were more than Kagato,Zedd and pashint." Michael said Laughing "Really who else were there?" Ryoko asked. "Well there were The Dragon King Dragos and Heavenshocpent the evil Demon Clown." Michael said "Holy cow what was there power Levels?" Tenchi asked. "Dragos was a level 100,000,000. Heavenshockpent was at level 2 Billion. Kagato was killed by Heavenshockpent cause no one can control him under a low P.L. which his was 2.5 Billion. It took me and Jason to kill him." Michael said SJ-Wait just a damn minute, those numbers...nevermind. What's the point? GT-I stopped paying attention a long time ago...did Michael die in the crash? AAA-Don't be stupid, the whole fic is just a dream of Bob Newhart. "We had to fuse in order to kill him." Michael said Everyones mouths were on the floor. "And your power level?" Washu asked "Well when I hit Super Extream V.1. It's at level 600,000. When I hit V.2 it shoots up to 650,000. V.3. When I hit V.4 it's really high its at 600,000,000. When I hit Angel mode our V.5. 1.5 Billion. And if me and Jason fuse it's at 4.5 Billion." Michael said SJ-This fic could be used to teach children what math isn't. GT-It would be much cooler to see the words comming out of crayon drawings. Now Katsuhitos mouth is on the floor. "There's no way a human could contain that much power! It's unbeleavable!" Tenchi said "Well you see I'm from Jerai and Jasons from the Planet Alpha." Michael said Everyone fell over AAA-Damn, Japanese people have really bad balance. "I guess my missions over with." Michael said "Well you ready to leave Jason?" Michael asked "I guess." Jason said SJ-Jason-How the hell should I know? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Excalliber MM.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I have completed my Mission. And I'm heading back to G.P. headquarters." Michael said talking to the Chief of police. GT-Chief-Who the hell are you? Stop calling. "Guess what? New orders. As of now Bounty Hunter Michael and Bounty Hunter Jason have been assigned to patrol the solar system!" The Chief of police said. "WHAT!!!!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE G.P. YOU HAD TO PICK ME TO PATROL A VACANT PLANET!!!!" Michael yelled with snake eyes! SJ-Michael-Give ME a paid vacation? Aw fuck no! Don't even GO THERE! GT-When did Earth become vacant? AAA-Everyone heard Michael was there and decided to take thier chances on the tentacle alien planet. "You are also going to be paired up with Mihoshi! Transmission over!" The chief of police said GT-Does anyone else get the feeling the chief just likes to screw with him? AAA-It's funny, because Michael's to stupid to realize that he's not a police officer. "DeBaka how could they do this to me?" Michael asked "All right I can continue my Vacation on Earth!" Jason said happily! AAA-They're like transexual versions of Kiyone and Mihoshi. GT-Not transexuals, dude. Just really committed transvestites. "Are you nuts? We are being paired up with Mihoshi. That's the worst thing that could happen to anybody." Michael said GT-Guy1-Brain cancer huh? Me, I'm paired with Mihoshi. SJ-Guy2-You poor bastar-AAAAAAHH, MY BRAIN CANCER!! AAA-What's wrong with Mihoshi? She's got big knockers. Another day has come and gone and so has Michaels spirit. what's gong to happen next time? SJ-Michael's spirit has come and gone? GT-He's a real player. AAA-But what's gong to happen? Will his spirit get an STD or something? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next time Michael tries to fit in with the people of Earth! And Washu is trying to get that sample from Tenchi! AAA-Something tells me that it won't have so much Tenchi based humor as it will Michael yelling things and transforming. Okay people that wraps the action part of the story but you may never know what may happen later! Thanks to all my fans! SJ-Michael-Thanks mom and dad! So my new Email is beardenboy@juno.com! The reason part 1 took so long is because of the quality filter and a double rewrite the first story of this rewrite was kind of dumb so I rewriten the first chapter of the rewrite! GT-What? ^-^; Don't ask! GT-Oh, sorry. Look for Washus lost love in the near future! Here's a lil plot for Washus lost love. Washu brings out her family album and shows it to the Tenchi cast! And her Baby boy come's back into her life. This is going to be a very touching story! AAA-I thought that Michael was going to try to fit in ect. ect. GT-Who cares? SJ-Well, that fic was actually pretty good. GT-Okay, now tell the truth. SJ-It sucked more balls than a ball sucking machine on ballsucking day. AAA-That's a real holiday in California. SJ-Hey, does this fic really deserve an R rating? GT-Uh...just a second....Haha! I've written the perfect ending theme song. FUCK FUCKIDY CUNT FUCKIDY FUCK FUCK HER IN THE CUNT CUNT WICKY WICKY CUNT AWWW YEAH BOOMSHAKA CUNT BOOMSHAKA FUCK AAA-Hello R rating. The end or whatever. --------------------------------------------------------- "I can't beleave that I the Dragon king is dead!"