"Author's note:Since we are MSTing a Tenchi fic and the Tenchi cast are MSTing The: sign are the MST characters. The Fic will be un-":"'ed : Thank you. In the very distant future where demons run amok, There was a man,Tenchi Masaki,who was a real shmuck. Forced to read fics by docter clay, Who has a stupid beard that's really gay, So he threw his curlers in a purse,and persued him in a Rocket across the universe. I'll send him crappy fanfics, The worst I can find "la la la" He'll have to sit and read them to torture his puny mind "la la la" Keep in mind he can't control when the fics will be sent He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his horny friends Stalker roll call!!! Ryoko:Rock On Washu:I'm a genius Ayeka:TENCHI Sasami:I'm so cute Ryo-ohki:MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW If you are wondering how they eat or breathe, or other science facts, Repeat to yourself it's just a fic and you really should relax, For Tenchi-Muyo theater4000 TTTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG (Inside Spaceship-Ryo-Oki) ::Washu was in her lab.Tenchi ran in and soon a choking sound was heard through-out the whole ship:: Ayeka:I know, curosity killed the cabbit, but luckily, I'm not a cabbit! ::Ayeka walked into Washu's lab to see Tenchi on the floor looking asleep.Ayeka walked up to her and Tenchi got up and stared at Ayeka,drowsy-eyed:: ::Ayeka ran out of the lab screaming,only to find Washu:: Ayeka:LADY WASHU!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO TENCHI!!!!! Washu:Chill, I just tested my newest experiment on him. Ayeka:Oh, what is it? Washu:I'm going to reveal that later, hehe. ::A loud beeping goes off,Ryoko and Sasami come running in:: Washu:Clay is sending us anoher fic. ::A big screen is opened and Doctor Clay is sitting in a comfortable-looking chair:: Dr.Clay:I don't understand this fic,but lets see what you can make of it. I hope it scares you alot. Enjoy MWAHAHAHAHA! ::Screen dissapears:: Washu:I really hate that guy ::Tenchi comes running out of the lab looking normal, but dazed:: Tenchi:Come on let's go. Sasami:WE HAVE FANFICTION SIGN! ::Tenchi,Washu,and Sasami sneak into the theater while the chaos goes on:: The Sasami Lemon Drug by Daisy Strike Sasami:Why does it have to be about me? WAHHHHHHHHH! The management of this station is not responsible for the views expressed in the following half hour long commercial. This message is intended for our mature viewers and should not be watched by minors, parental discretion is advised. Tenchi:Ok, so they're trying to protect non adults from this, but this whole thing is about some sort of lemon thing involving Sasami. Did I miss something? Sasami:Ew! I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT A JERK CLAY IS FOR SENDING THIS! Washu:I have a feeling that 'lemon' is the right word for this in more ways than one. And now live from Washu's Hentai Laboratory Inc. we give you: The Sasami Lemon Drug, Sasami:WAAH! Washu:Like I'd waste time on this. After the first few centuries, sex really just doesn't matter as much as it used to. Tenchi:Only $19.95! Order now. Washu:$19.95? Hey, maybe I should pay more attention to this. . . Washu walked out on to the stage holding a mike to the applause of the studio audience. "Hi everybody, today I'm offering you a very special piece of merchandise. The Sasami Lemon Drug, Tenchi:Inspired by the perverted devotion of a small niche of people who will probably never have anything resembling actual sex. Have you ever wondered how a little eight year old girl can suddenly turn into a raging nymphomaniac. Tenchi:No. Sasami:EW EW EW! NO NO NO! Washu:This was probably written by Yugi. Previously, only available in small test runs we are offering to you for mass consumption The Sasami Lemon Drug. Yes I am a genius." The audience applauds again. Tenchi:Why the hell would anyone want to buy a drug that only works on Sasami? Washu:That seems to be self explanatory, the people who think Sasami is hot for reasons indecipherable to 99 percent of the planet. Sasami:Ick.. feel so, so dirty (starts frantically rubbing hands together) "Through the marvel of modern science. I have completed a whole line up of drugs that can be mixed or matched as needed." She pulls out a chart. "The first type is the readier... a requirement in almost all fics it makes Sasami a "woman." Tenchi:It's called 'puberty' Washu:Which you could probably use some more of yourself. . . "The second type is the enlarger coming in two types... hips and breast enlarging by the size necessary one ounce equals one inch or so. This type is also well used by a number of lemons." Tench:>And Doug Winger, but let's not go there. Washu:So that's what you've been looking at alone in your room late at night. Tenchi:Um. . . . never mind. "The third type is a basic aphrodisiac, no explanation necessary." Washu:This whole fic is 'no explanation necessary.' Sasami:la la la. . . in a pretty forest with a vast, beautiful waterfall. . . la la la. "The forth and last type is an area aphrodisiac released by Sasami after being injected by the formula. Good to put Tenchi or someone else in the mood too." Tenchi:I have a feeling Daisy Strike wouldn't need much of that. Washu:Yep, something tells me this one has more desire than can possibly be fulfilled due to the fact they're as likely to engage in coitus in a reasaonable time frame as a fly is of solving Fermat's Last Theorem. Sasami:Is this thing over yet? "And now for a couple testimonials:" Washu points to a screen behind her as a tape rolls. "Hi, its me Tank Cop, I used a combination of all the basic products offered in the Sasami Lemon Drug Package. In my Sammys Little Secret and look what I have accomplished Washu:Getting a boner is not an accomplishment. Tenchi:Grandpa says it is. two MISA awards. I want to thank Ms. Washu for her great product." The audience applauds as the screen turns gray. "And of course who could forget the first trial of the drug... done by Mike Swanson." "Thanks Washu, I feel honored to have been allowed to use the drug in At the Carrot Patch, when she came to me with the Sasami Lemon Drug and asked me to test it the drug was still in its experimental stages. I remember how the hip enlarger had the odd side effect of enlarging Sasami's ass. But hey, I turned a side effect into a major plot point. Now a days though the drug is a science. Thanks Washu." The audience applauds again. Tenchi:I don't get all this interest in Sasami. Am I missing something here? Sasami:Hm. . . Washu, is this drug real? Washu:uhh,sorta... Sasami:WAH! ::All three of them leave the theater:: Washu:And now my great invention,The Tenchi Lemon Drug!!! Tenchi:WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!! Washu:Relax,Tenchi it'll be fun for all of us.......hehe. Ryoko:What's going on here? Washu:My invention, the Tenchi Lemon Drug. Washu:Say,Ryoko,would you mind holding Tenchi down why I shove the potion down his throat? Tenchi:NO, NO, NO!!!!! ::Ryoko pins Tenchi against the wall and Washu shoves the potion down his throat:: Tenchi:AAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!WHATS HAPPENING TO ME!?!?!?! Washu:Something must have gone wrong! He turned into Amagasaki!!!!! Ryoko:I guess it was an Amagasaki Lemon Drug ::starts giggling:: ::Sasami and Ayeka walk in:: Ayeka:LORD TENCHI!!WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM, LADY WASHU?!? Washu:Calm Down, just an experiment gone terribly, terribly wrong. Tenchi-Amagasaki:Ooh, look at all the girlies! Hello ladys, there's enough of me for everyone! All(except Amagasaki):AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Sasami:WASHU! CHANGE HIM BACK!!! Washu:Luckily, I made an antidote, Ryoko, hold him down again. Ryoko:I don't think so. Washu:Anyone? Everyone (except Amagasaki): NO WAY!!!!! Washu:The things I do for science... ::Washu tackles Tenchi-Amagasaki, and jams the potion down his throat:: ::Amagasaki dissapears and Tenchi appears under Washu:: Washu:Oh...Tenchi!...Oh yeah! Tenchi:Huh? What? Ayeka and Ryoko:GET OFF TENCHI!!!! ::Ayeka and Ryoko stare at each other and begin to growl, before they break out into a bitch slap fight:: Sasami:WE HAVE FANFICTION SIGN!! Washu:We'll work this out later, let's go! ::Sasami,Tenchi and Washu enter the theater *** The show changes to a commercial mode. "If you order the Sasami Lemon Drug now. Washu has authorized the following kit. Four of each drug. Plus a second kit for FREE. Also do to a surplus of fic Sasami's were throwing in a Free, that's right Free, Sasami from your favorite series. Also a how to video tape and this wonderful autographed collection of the best ten Sasami lemons. Now you might pay $200 dollars for this whole kit but today and today only we are offering it for only the time on your modem. That's right where can you beat a deal like that. And now back to Ms. Washu." "And now a demonstration bring out Sasami, Bob." Announcers voice. "Today's Sasami was stolen from OAV3 of Pretty Sammy. The weakest of the trilogy." "Hi Sasami, and welcome to the show!" "Uh... Washu, what is going on." She asked staring nervously at the studio audience. "Sasami, your my test subject for the new vitamin shot I'm trying to sell." "Don't want to." "If you don't I'll tell everyone your Pretty Sammy on live TV" She whispers into Sasami's ear. "Sure, Washu whatever you want." She said without enthusiasm. "Okay I'm going to use a combination of the readier, enlarger, and the A." She winks her eye at the audience. And preps the shot. Then quick as a flash piecing the needle in Sasami's arm. "Oh... that hurt Washu." "Okay since this is TV we can't show you all that happens but we do have... tadah." A white screen is dropped from the top of the stage hiding them except for the shadows a spot light cast from behind them. "Washu, I feel weird." "Don't worry Sasami." From the shadows cast on the screen you see Sasami's breasts and hips start to enlarge. In mere seconds she goes from cute eight year old to a sex bomb. Tenchi:And all the Sasami freaks who read this fic's wangs just went from one inch to one inch and a half. Washu:Oooh. .. . cold. Sasami:Hm. . . actually, I thought this would just be gross, but. . . . hmmmmm. . . . "Washu will you play with me." Sasami asked huskily. "Of course..." You see Sasami's shirt being removed. "My what big tits you have..." Sasami:Hey, wait a sec, this is starting to get a little weird. Tenchi:Hey, I'm just relieved there's finally sex in a fic that doesn't involve me for once. Washu:I wonder what I did to deserve this. . . . maybe it's just better that I don't know. "The better to lick them..." "My what big hips you have..." You see Washu's shadow take off Sasami's Skirt. "The better to hold onto..." "My what a big dic... Oh god something must have gone wrong." "The better to fuck you with Washu." Sasami:WAIT THIS IS GROSS AND BAD!!!!! "Sasami.... Oh Sasammmmmmi....." You see the shadow of Sasami grab onto Washu and begin to fuck her for about thirty seconds. (Hey what do you expect staying power on someone who has never used one before?) Washu:AS IF! Sasami:(insane gibbering) Tenchi:Is this thing over yet? "Now where the fuck is that Fan Fic writer who cast me in this lemon. I'm going to give him an anal lobotomy." The curtain is swept aside revealing Washu on the ground and a very pissed off but big breasted woman with too much equipment. Tenchi:Lobotomy? Would anybody notice after? Sasami:Excuse me (runs to bathroom to barf) Tenchi:Hm, I wouldn't call this a lemon fic. I mean, there isn't even a story. Washu:The real story was that the author masturbated for hours after writing this. Hurriedly from the announcer, "The management is not responsible for the views expressed in this commercial. No cabbits were killed in the making of this drug. Though a number were harmed." Tenchi:Please, let us not go there! Washu:Trust me, at least a dozen furries out there are busily cranking out Ryo-Oki porn as we speak. Sasami:RYO-OKI! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The TV test tone of bars and sound appear on your screen. Hit the back button on your browser now! Tenchi:It's hard not to feel some pity here. . . This fic was written by Daisy Strike,it is not my property,so please,no flames. MST comments by Hellknight StingerClip:"The better to fuck you with Washu"