"Author's note:Since we are MSTing a Tenchi fic and the Tenchi cast are MSTing The<> sign are the MST characters. In the very distant future where demons run amok, There was a man, Tenchi Masaki, who was a real shmuck. Forced to read fics by doctor clay, Who has a stupid beard that's really gay, So he threw his curlers in a purse, and persued him in a Rocket across the universe. I'll send him crappy fanfics, The worst I can find "la la la" He'll have to sit and read them all to torture his puny mind "la la la" Keep in mind he can't control when the fics will be sent He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his horny friends Stalker roll call!! Ryoko:Rock On Washu:I'm a genius Ayeka:TENCHI Tsunami: I love trees Mihoshi:I want eggplant!!! Ryo-ohki:MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW If you are wondering how they eat or breathe, or other science facts, Repeat to yourself it's just a fic and you really should relax, For Tenchi-Muyo theater 4000 TTTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG (Inside Starship-Ryo-Oki) I'm so bored ::Washu walks in:: Hi Tenchi,I was bored also, I made mecha chibis of everyone. YOU DID WHAT?!?WWWAAAASSSSHHHUUUU!!!!!! Yep,that's right. ::Ryoko and Tsunami walk in:: Ryoko,you're so great! Ryoko,you're so tough! Yes! I love this! ::Mihoshi walks in:: I just finished watching the baseball game. The Mets lost. So, I was wondering if we can have a baseball game ourselves. Please, pretty please? I don't see why not. We don't have enough people to play baseball. We need two teams of nine! Couldn't we use the chibis as the other team? You're the smartest,Mihoshi! Hahahahaha, good joke. ::Ayeka walks in looking peeved:: I WAS ATTACKED BY A MINIATURE RYOKO, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT,WASHU??? Ayeka? WHAT? Can you call me Little Washu? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ::At that, all the chibis start chasing the Tenchi chibis. AHHHHHHHHH ::A screen appears showing doctor Clay:: This might as well be the most OOC fic I have ever sent you, but you may enjoy it more than I do.Enjoy. Mwahahahaha! ::Screen disappears:: I hate him sooooooooo much it's not funny. WE HAVE FANFIC SIGN!!!!! ::Usual fanfic sign chaos:: Okay. I'll program the baseball field while you guys are gone. Okay. ::Tsunami, Ryoko, and Mihoshi run into the theatre:: Why Tsunami Should Have A Day Off by Cyber Hyena (Disclaimer: I don't own Tenchi Muyo! or any jokes from Ren & Stimpy. I don't make any money off of this.) Tusanami's day was, to be blunt, unpleasent. The Jurian millitary had been depending her for their small war on a neighboring planet. Take that, neighboring planet. Yes, eat wooden space death. They were fighting day and night, and the multiverse godess was suffering more than any of the soldiers on duty. She hadn't slept in weeks, this morning she had been interrupted while having her daily bowl of Juria-O's. I guess Sasami loses the ability to cook when she merges with Tsunami. I'm collecting the boxtops. You can send them in for a free T-shirt. Oh. What's the major ingredient, prozac? You guessed it. No wonder you're always so laid back about everything. . . Free T-shirt! Wow! the the next came when she was tending the garden, now her flowers were drooping. Her mind was slowy wearing down like paint being striped off by a power sander. The sweat on her fore head stopped pouring as she helped the fleet press opressing atackers back out of the planet's atmospheare. She slumped down in her lazy tree and let out a small sigh of intense relief. The dementional pool shimered as Tsunami's favoret episode of Seinfeld came on. Dementional pool. Somehow that seems like an appropriate thing to watch Seinfeld on. They have Seinfeld on Jurai? Our version is a little different. Instead of a show about nothing, it's a show about trees. Hey, what is it about you talking so slow like that? Do you channel Al Gore or something? The being now known as Al Gore used to be one of my saplings. Hm, that explains why everyone says he's so wooden. "Ah, just what I needed. Krammer, you never fail to amuse me. *sigh*" Kramer! She sat back and watched the never ending satire of the American sit-com. She started to grin and would have laughed at the next sceen, if she didn't suddenly get hit by a great mental force. "Not again!" she moaned as the pool shifted to show a large space battle. "Pompous bastards can't even stop fighting for a hour!!! They draining all my freaking energy!!!"she screamed across the Jurian Empire. Yes, how dare they interrupt my Seinfeld viewing with their life or death struggle. Three letters. V. C. R. CPR? I don't get it, Ryoko! As she powered the ships durnig the battle, Durnig? What kind of word is that?::Scratches head:: the strain, and the fact she was missing an episode she had been trying to watch since the show aired, snapped Tusnami like a twig under the wight of a mac truck. Her blood chilling scream could be heard ringing out into the ferthest reaches of the galaxy. Sounds like it's that time of the month. Do trees get that? Some things are not to be told. So, in other words, yes. At the same time Sasami was cheerfuly preparing lunch for the family, when Tsunami's shriek sent her reeling. Sasami_Go_To_Washu's_Lab…… It's all you can eat night! Sasami obedently headed for the home of the Universes Greatest Gineuess Scientist. Washu imeadatly noticed the little blue haired princess and let out an agrivated sigh. "I know, lunch is ready, I'll be there in a sec."Washu said trying to second guess her. "No, actualy Tusnami wants to talk to you." Sasami replied brightly. She closed her eyes and Tusnami apeared before the mad scientist. (to fic Washu)Could I borrow a cup of sugar? I feel like going chibi and attacking everyone. Wouldn't you just turn into Sasami if you went on a sugar rush? Yeah, but there'd be two Sasamis and that would be sort of interesting. (Pictures two of Sasami running around doing kawaii things)Ugh. . . . that is more disturbing than this weird OOC fic. The godess stood there for a minute, breathing heavaly, then she rushed Washu, grabbed the little woman and shook her. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!" Tsunami yelled in Washu's face. Say it, don't spray it. "Easy Tsu. Easy! What's the problem?" "I've been running the Jurian space fleet for eons, but, yesterday, was the last straw!!!! They interuped me while I was watching Seinfeld!!! Do you have any idea how long I was waiting for yesterday's episode?!! DO YOU?!!!!! They need to stop fighting!!!" Washu knew it took a realy brave or very foolish person(s) to come between the Multiverse godess and her Seinfeld time. She was guessing that the latter was usaly the type, to call upon a woman who could wipe them out in an instent This is so in character. I really am a psycho bitch who is willing to wipe out her own people over missing a tv show. Yeah, the show must be getting it wrong. Hm, I actually kind of like this Tsunami a little better. . . Washu led Tsunami to a small room in the corner, where an extreamly comoftable cot. She layed the other woman on it and propped the pillows. Uh-oh. Relax, I think we're ok this time. Turned on a cd player with soothing music on it. "Now you lay there and relax, and so you can,I'll turn off the gravity." She flipped a switch on the wall and left quietly, after a few seconds, Tsunami floated off the bed. She was half smiling. Maybe the little luntic is right, I should take it easy. She reached over and grabbed a blanket, and tighly hugged it. "My blanket..you've always been good to me. It's always been you and I agenst the world! No one else can have you, you all mi-ne!" What the heck is going on here? Don't you know anything? This is the Ren and Stimpy part. I'm apparantly having post traumatic stress disorder which is causing me to channel Ren Hoek, Ren! But what does Ren and Stimpy have to do with our show? Beats me. (ponders the Keone and Mihoshi show)Hmmmmm . . . . . As she conuined to soflty rant, she unintentionaly sailed out of the room and around the lab, Washu's ears perked and she turned away from her holo labtop and proptly face faulted. "Uh..Tsunami?" She asked meekly. "NO!!!! Ever since I was a little tree, everyone's been trying to take my blankie!!!!!! WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She possively clutched the blanket and sucked her thumb. "Now just hand over the coforter and we'll talk over a nice cup of tea laced with a seditive…." "STAY BACK, MAN!!!!!!" That's not a woman, it's a man, man. Hey, the tree goddess laying down some Powers lines. I wish I'd have said "I shall call her. . . mini-me" when I first assimilated Sasami. That would have been cool. Hindsight is 20/20. The godess screamed and backed into wall, wildly looking around, then she snatched a vile of a green liquid. "Please calme down, and put down the dangerous chemical.." Washu said in a talking-to-a- raving-phycopath-voice. "DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She began to laugh manicaly and shook the beaker up and down violently. As gripping as this is, let's see if they're ready for the game out there. ::They leave the theatre and walk onto a baseball diamond, the rest are already on the diamond:: Let's play ball! First we must sing the Juraian planetary anthem. Oh, crud. Well, we can sing the anthem of wherever you're from, Ryoko. Oh, sorry, I forgot, you don't even *have* a home, really. That's it! ::Ryoko shoots an energy ball at Ayeka, which she deflects.:: How can you be so irrational, Ryoko! If you don't stop this, I will never forgive you. WHAT? Just adding to the OOC. Oh, all right, you can have your stupid anthem. Here it goes: "Sing to the trees of wisdom" "The power of our trees will crush our enemies" "Hail the royalty of Jurai" "For with someone out of their family they will never ever lie" That's it? That song is about me and Tenchi. ::Almost pukes:: Play ball!!! Can we play? Sure Cool! ::The chibis take position in the dugout,and the cast take their positions in the field,these are what they are:: C:Tsunami 1B:Tenchi 2B:Ayeka SS:Washu 3B:Mihoshi P:Kione RF:Sakuya LF:Sasami CF:Ryoko ::The game runs only five innings because nobody feels like playing a full game. Ryoko got yelled at a few times for teleporting and walking through the center field wall and the Chibis eventually won (they don't get tired, you know). Well, that was fun (gasping for air)No . . . . . . YAYYY!!!!! (Two of the Chibis dump a bottle of sake on Washu's head and start chasing the real and chibi Tenchis again) Aggghhhhhhhh! *Sigh* ::presses a button on a remote control:: ::The Chibis immediately fly over to the real versions of themselves and start buttering them up:: You're so pretty, Ayeka! You're so restrained, Ayeka! You're so cute, Sas- No time for this now, we have fanfiction sign! ::In the chaos, Tsunami, Ryoko and Mihoshi return to the theatre.:: Washu jumped her and the two women wrestled around until the diminuntive scientist wrung the vilal out of the wigged out Tsunami's hands. She then slapped her across the face. Then the blue haired tree began to sob uncontrollably. All of this sort of blows the whole 'gentle' reputation I had. . . Might as well go with the flow. I'll try. (as Ren)Stieeempy! You eeeeediooot! There ya go. Later Tsunami sat in the onsen's bubbly waters, trying to regane her composure. Her mouth and the corners of her lips twitched slightly. It's not my fault this is happening, it's someone's, but I don't kow who to blame. She sunk lower into the water. I need a scapegoat, but who?…………………I've got it!!!!!!! She lept out of the water and dressed her self, running in search of a certain 18 year old boy. Hm, I would have thought of OJ as a scapegoat first. Yeah, you can pin anything on OJ these days. *********** At this time, Tenchi was curently sittling on the steps of the shrine with Ryoko. She was siding up to him every second and leaned her head agenst his shoulder. "Tenchi, I've been meaning to ask you…..who do you like?" "Well uh…." "Why don't you kiss me and see?" She closed her eyes and puckered up. Tenchi sweat dropped and leaned forword to kiss, but was suddenly pulled away by Tsunami. Then the author apeared. "Ladies and gentlemen, I do not belong in this story(since I should be writing it,)………….BUT I CAN'T PASS UP A CHANCE LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!" He leapt forword, grabbed Ryoko by the neck and kissed her passionatly. "YAHOOO!!!!!" He screamed with joy then, disapeared. "Hmm, not bad, but I never knew Tenchi ate beef jerky…" That was the most pointless and sad self insertion I've ever seen. This is nothing compared to the fic where the guy had himself in bed with both Washu *and* Android-18. No comment. *********** Tenchi found himself in Juria's Royal Garden, Tsunami beckoned him to follow her, grinning evily. She led him to a large tree with a panal in front of it, upon it was a single push button labled, DO NOT PRESS,UNLESS YOU REALY MEAN IT!! JURAI DETONATOR BUTTON.Tsunami quickly ripped the lable off and ate it. Jurai detonator button. *Really*. Wow, I wish I'd known about that. All that effort for nothing. " See that button, Tenchi?" she asked. "Yes, what does it do?" "Nobody knows!!!! Maaayyybeee somethin' good, maaaayyybeeee somethin' bad! We're not gonna find out because your gonna gaurd it!!" She empised this by jabbing her finger into his chest. She walked away and his behind a tree. Tenchi stood there holding tenchi-ken and vigilantly scaned the room, then his right eye fell upon the button. I wonder what it does? He thought. Maybe I should push it and find out…No! I'm not susposed to touch it!!! But, it looks so inocent, wait! NO! Can't_Give_IN……… I can see where this is headed. Um, wouldn't destroying Jurai destroy me as well? Yeah, but that's not the point of this fic. You mean this fic actually has a point? Yes. But it temporarily eludes me. "How much longer can our hero stand the pressure?!!!!! Hoe much time before he surcumbs to the temptation?!!!!! To press that button, that shiny button, that suductive button, that almost candy like button!!!!!!!!!!!" The anoucer began to scream, and as he began to slam Tenchi's face into the button, then hefted him up on the panal and began to roll him across the device. "How Much Longer Can He Stand It?!!!! How Much Longer?!!!!!! HOW MUCH LONGER?!!!!!!!" "I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tenchi screamed knocking the anoying anoucer off him. He laughed insainly and slammed his finger down on the button, and waring sirens blared, as the planet avacuated. Tusnami took up the role of laughing insainly as Tenchi fainted. The Jurians made it of planet just as it blew up. How GI-Joe-esque. What do you mean? I don't think anyone ever died on that show, either. A triple exploshion set off a chain reaction of dystruction on the surface then, the entire planet phased out in a brilent and blinding flash of ultravilent light, like a fire works display gone horriably wrong This whole fic went horribly wrong. I liked it! Ren and Stimpy is funny! I liked the part when Jurai blew up, so I guess it's ok. ********** Epiloge A warm breaze flutered over the French Riviara as the sun shown blaringly. The weather was pleasant and soothing as the waves lazly relfected on the layed back mood. Tsunami sat back in her beach chair sipping upon a ice cold wine cooler. Next to her Washu stretched out, taning her face. "I'm glad to see you back to good meantal health." "Thanks, I need to take a well deserved vacation every thousand years." "Good, now who do you sucker into taking your place on New Jurai?" "Oh someone who deserves that deserves the postion." Vegeta sat , wearing a black cape with his usal aromor, he was curnetly watching Indiana Jones and trying to figure out his power leval, (as Vegeta)I could take that wuss. when the Jurians called upon him. "What the hell?!!! No! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ********* "Well that's a rap.." "Waite a minute, kid" "Oh hi Ryoko." "Yeah, hi. Listen, I like that kiss and your nice but, the next time you pull that, I'll force you to kiss your ass. Okay?" I liked his nice butt? What? Someone seems to need 'hooked on phonics' badly. I used to use that, but I got addicted and had to go into recovery. Let's get out of here. "Clear as crystle. Okay, now review me and read something else, It's over. Look for new fics." I do not own Tenchi and co. am not making any money CyberHyena:please do not flame me.It was only a joke.Not to be taken seriously MSTing by Hellknight Stinger Clip: She hadn't slept in weeks, this morning she had been interrupted while having her daily bowl of Juria-O's.