"Author's note:Since we are MSTing a Tenchi fic and the Tenchi cast are MSTing The<> sign are the MST characters. In the very distant future where demons run amok, There was a man, Tenchi Masaki, who was a real shmuck. Forced to read fics by doctor clay, Who has a stupid beard that's really gay, So he threw his curlers in a purse, and persued him in a Rocket across the universe. I'll send him crappy fanfics, The worst I can find "la la la" He'll have to sit and read them all to torture his puny mind "la la la" Keep in mind he can't control when the fics will be sent He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his horny friends Stalker roll call!! Washu:Doktor has a choo-choo on his head. Sasami:What is the matrix? Tsunami:Where are the jurai-os? Mihoshi:Keone, are you wearing my underwear again? Pretty Sammy:I'm Pretty Sammy! Ryo-ohki:MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW If you are wondering how they eat or breathe, or other science facts, Repeat to yourself it's just a fic and you really should relax, For Tenchi-Muyo theater 4000 TTTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG ::Everyone is in the hull, including Pretty Sammy and Tsunami:: I'm Prettty Sammy! Does she do this all day? ::Tsunami sadly knods her head verticaly.:: Say hello to Justice! I'm Pretty Sammy! Nice going, Tsunami. Yeah, good one. Hey, we're being contacted by Clay! ::Clay appears on the screen:: Hahahahah you are my willing fanfiction slaves! Fanfiction? Ew! Yes and here is some now! Haha ::Clay disappears:: We have fanfiction sign! ::in the chaos, Sasami, Tsunami, and Pretty Sammy run into the theatre. ZERO AMBITION This is my second fic (my first one being Gundam Boys in a mental home) I wrote this on a whim after thinking about what effects the ZERO system might have on a person who wasnt a fighter, who wasnt even in the middle of a war. This is set WAY after the Endless Waltz so dont expect to see anybody from the series. So the endless waltz ended. How ironic. I'll rescue us from this fanfiction trap! Pretty face! ::Sasami and Tsunami both fall in love with Pretty Sammy and jump into her seat:: Um, whoops. I'd better not use any more of my stupid powers. ::Pretty Sammy doesn't return Sasami and Tsunami's phone calls until they take a hint:: Usual disclaimers apply, i dont own Gundam or anything affiliated with it. Be nice if I did, but I dont. ******************************************************* The year is After Colony 367. Oh nuts, this really is a Gundam fic. I thought you liked Gundam. I did until they went to the circus for no reason. I thought you liked the circus. I did until I saw that episode of Gundam. I thought.. . oh never mind. Heero Yuy is hot! I'm Pretty Sammy! Oh god, it never stops. . . Earth and space continue to live together in harmony with no threats or battles for nearly two centuries. (Paul McCartney)Earth. . and spaaaaacce. . live together in perfect harmony. . . Please stop. Puppies are cute! I'm Pretty Sammy! This is all your fault. ::sweatdrops:: The Gundams are nothing more than myths, some consider them to have been Gods in the form of a mobile suit. A massive church was established in the name of that belief, that church branched into smaller churches , each one dedicated to a specific Gundam. Gotta catch em' all. . . Wrong show. Pink sugary frilly lace hearts are nice! I'm Pretty Sammy! What have I done? ******************************************************* Father Hilton walked down the sidewalk of the L-1 colony he called home, well, walking wouldnt be the proper term, he was running as if his life depended on it. He couldnt beleive it, he had found blueprints for the fabled Wing ZERO, he smiled inwardly and outwardly. People were doubtful of the Gundam church and their beleifs, but once Hilton completed the Wing ZERO (weapons unoperational of course) people would HAVE to believe. In peter pan. I can fly! I'm Pretty Sammy! ::shakes her head.:: He could imagine it now, people from all over Earth and the colonies flocking in large crowds to attend the Gundam worship, they would even have a real Gundam to bow down to. Not to mention that it would probably kill them all. It can't. No one is inside of it and it's unarmed. FANGIRL!!! I know, but I only watched Gundam before Seinfeld came on. ((Author's note: See previous MST: "MST of Why Tsunami Should have a day off.)) Be happy! I'm Pretty Sammy! Lets get out of here for a second. ::They exit the theatre:: Um, Pretty Sammy, there's someone here to see you and they're kind of mad. ::Usagi steps forward, looking pissed:: Hey you! Yeah, I'm talking to you, mini-me! I am Sailor Moon, and you're stealing my schtick! In the name of the moon, I will moon you! ::Usagi moons Pretty Sammy:: Oh, so they make you do that on your show too. Never mind that! Prepare to meet your worst nightmare! Me! No, that would be more like these guys ::sics Mecha Washu and Psudo Dad on Usagi:: Aggghhhh! (runs away) Ew, I'm not in love with her. Miya! Let's go back. The fic was less stupid than reality. Yeah. ::They return to the theatre:: Months passed, Hilton had kept his plans of rebuilding the Wing ZERO strictly confidential, not even his most trusted friends or his superiors had the slightest clue, Nobody on this show has a clue. only himself and the mechanics. After what seemed like an eternity it was finished, it was the proudest day of his life, the happiest since he became head of the Wing ZERO church. In the dimly lit warehouse the features of the legendary machine were difficult to see, but to Hilton every little detail, every piece of Gundanium appeared to be in broad daylight. Even though they are inside. I Don't know. Don't frown! I'm Pretty Sammy! Yes, yes, we know. . . The Gundam was practically harmless, the legendary Twin Buster Rifle was built without a power generator, the beam sabers were nothing more than specially designed oversized flashlights and the machine cannons had been rigged so they could not be loaded or fired. The cockpit however was operational. He had allowed the ZERO system program to be installed, after all, there was no war, no fights of any kind, no harm could come from having the ZERO system. Except that it would mess up his mind. FANGIRL!!! So... we're both fangirls. Big deal. I'm Pretty Sammy! His mouth watered as he imagined the praise he would receive, and even more as the aspect of piloting it crept into his mind. He slowly walked over to the Wing ZERO, his shoes clicking against the concrete floor. He grabbed onto the rope that would lift him into the cockpit. He sat down and began experimenting with the controls. Soon he was making the ZERO walk around and move its arms, a little later and he was "Shadow Dueling" with a Beam Saber.He laughed with glee and sheer ectasy as he swung His coupon from Odd job in the air. I'm Pretty Sammy! the saber back and forth, he didnt notice the beeping sound or the lights activating on the control board. Not until the ZERO system became fully activated. Hilton was nervous now, images of mobile suits appeared in his mind and everywehere he looked there appeared to be something move out of the corner of his eye. The images became more rapid in appearance, battle plans were being fed into his brain. He seemed paralyzed, part of him refusing to move and the other part struggling to make it move. Beads of sweat began sliding down his face. He let out a meek cry for help but he knew no one heard him. He began to frantically push buttons at random, hoping he would find the deactivation switch, but with each button he pressed the images became more and more rapid and gruesome. With each puff, it becomes a lighter world, man. That is in such bad taste. I'm Pretty Sammy! Leos and Virgos were starting to appear out of nowhere and Hilton could see glimpses of them firing, attacking him. He clutched at his head, hands grasping onto sweat soaked handfuls of hair. The suits that magically appeared continued firing. He resumed pushing buttons hoping that the nightmare would end if he pushed the right one. A Virgo fired one last shot, Hilton could see it coming, the beam hit the Wing Zero head on, it was the finishing blow. A tradgeic, apocalyptic ending. I'm Pretty Sammy! It was too much, Hilton saw the beam coming, he knew he would be finished. He clasped his hands and tried to pray for divine intervention. He opened his eyes in time to see the beam come closer yet. He closed his eyes and grasped his hair again. (Hilton)Maybe if I pull my hair hard enough, it'll work. "NOOOO!!!!" his tortured scream echoed through the warehouse, but no one heard him as he screamed inside of the stationary mobile suit inside of an abandoned warehouse, no one was there when he snapped and died in a reality that was created through his fear and an ancient battle system. Inside the warehouse the emerald green eyes of the Wing ZERO were glowing as if the Gundam was alive. So much for that "no harm could come from having the ZERO system" theory. THE END Yes, because this made so much sense. I hear you. Kiss yourself! I'm Pretty Sammy! Oh shut up. ******************************************************* Read and review please. I know I said I wasn't planning on a sequel, but I just might, lemme know if you like the idea or not. And if anyone should want to MST this, go right ahead, you don't need to ask, just do it. Okay. Stinger Clip:He could imagine it now, people from all over Earth and the colonies flocking in large crowds to attend the Gundam worship, they would even have a real Gundam to bow down to.