MST File 2: Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi
by Kevin "Crusader" Hughes

	The room is dark, the only thing that can be seen is a desk and 
a chair facing away from the camera.  The chair swivels around and a 
blonde man wearing a collared shirt and a tie glances at the viewers. 
	He begins to speak, "In times like these; fanfics are common. 
There are the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Everyone reads the good 
ones and agree that they are in fact, good.  Everyone reads the bad 
ones, and some think they are good, but the others think they aren't 
so good.  And then there are the ugly ones.  Almost everyone thinks 
that these are bad.  These fanfics must be punished in some way (at 
least until the other fans can find the authors).  It is because of this 
need for retribution that MSTings have become so popular.  A group 
of helpless people trapped in a room being forced to watch a horrible 
fanfic come alive.  What else do they have to do but comment and 
heckle it?  Well, tonight, I am really disgusted by the fic that is 
MSTed here.  Several other people have already MSTed this fic... but 
we still feel so dirty.  Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy my variation 
of the MSTing of 'Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi.'  For those of you who 
don't know, this is a very very very sick lemon.  You have been 
warned... enjoy the show!"
	The chair swivels around again and the room goes totally dark.

*****************************************************

Of course, I mustn't forget the...

	Ritual Disclaimer for the Ignorant: I don't own any of the 
characters portrayed in this fanfic, except the ones which I made up.  
I'm not making any money off of this.  Don't sue me.  Thank you.

*****************************************************

	Alexander Tormah shakes his head, "Honestly, these people 
don't take very kindly to being pulled out of their dimensions."
	Vegita glares at Alexander, "I told you to leave me where I 
was!  Why have you defied my demands?"
	Alexander sighs, "Because I was given orders to bring you all 
here again."
	Senichi gulps, "This wouldn't happen to be another lemon, 
would it?"
	Alexander nods.
	Pixy Misa looks at Alexander, "Does it have Sasami in it?"
	Alexander nods again, "Yes, but she doesn't partake in any of 
the lemony activities."
	Vegita looks around the room and asks, "Where is that green-
haired boy, Pretz?"
	Alexander responds, "Oh, well, my orders said to rotate people 
out if I thought that they weren't good enough.  You reacted VERY 
well, Vegita, so you're going to be around for quite a while."
	Vegita glares at Alexander, "What?  You're going to keep 
tearing me away from my dimension to MST these fics forever?"  He 
gritted his teeth and started to power up.
	"Well, not forever, I'll let you go eventually.  However, I should 
probably introduce you to our newest member."  He turns off to the 
side, "Come on in!"
	A tall brunette wearing a sailor fuku entered the room.  "Hi, I'm 
Makoto."
	Senichi's first reaction is to very carefully scan every inch of 
her near-perfect body.  He aproaches her and whispers to her, "You 
know, I may just have the right kind of job for you.  How old did you 
say you were?"
	Makoto, obviously not interested in his proposition, grabs 
Senichi by the arm and chucks him into the opposite wall.  "I'm 14 
you hentai!"
	Senichi fell off of the wall and gasps, "Only 14?  Wow, with a 
body like that..."
	Vegita blasts Senichi with a minor beam of energy before he 
can finish his sentence.
	Makoto looks at Vegita and bowed, "Thank you."
	Vegita just scowls, "Don't mention it."
	Pixy Misa blinks and turned to Alexander, "Pardon moi, but is 
Tenchi in this fic?"
	Alexander sighs, "Yes, but again, he's hideously out of 
character.  But, speaking of the fic, let's get it started!"  He 
vanishes.
	Everyone else groans and takes their seats on the couch.  From 
right to left the people are: Makoto, Vegita, Senichi, and Pixy Misa.  
The film began to roll.

*****************************************************

>Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi

Misa: What prey tell is "Sashimi?"
(The others shrug)
Alex (from outside the room): I don't know either... but it doesn't 
really matter in this fic anyway.

>By The Super Retarded Kid

Makoto: Wha?  Usagi wrote this?
(Everyone snickers)

>from Seanbaby's website, Alienboy 52

Makoto: Oh, nevermind...

>Disclaimer:
>This fic is about Tenchi Muyo in my fucked up world so yeah, it's 
>fucked up.  Most of it is sick and probably sucks because I'm writing 
>it.

Senichi: Tsk, tsk
Vegita: What now?
Senichi: Just like the last fic, this guy is setting us up for 
diappointment.
Vegita: And just like the last time, I have to remind you that is has 
to be bad, we're MSTing it.
Senichi: Actually, that's not true, I recently read an MST that was 
supporting the fic.  The fic itself was pretty good as well.
Vegita: I see your point.
Senichi: However, this one could be exceptionally bad.

>If you don't know I have real sick fantasies so if your not 18+ don't 
>read this.

Makoto: Uhm, should I be watching this?
Misa: Why are you complaining?  I'm only 10!
Makoto: I guess it's okay, I mean, it's not like these are visual like 
the anime videos I have at... (covers her mouth)
(The others raise their eyebrows in curiosity)
Makoto: (forms a sweatbead) Well... I live alone and... I get all lonely 
and... (sigh) I'm no better than him.
(She points at Senichi)
Senichi: Hey!  I don't watch those kind of videos... I produce them!
(The others faceplant)
Alex (from outside again): Well, actually, due to the magic of 
fanfiction authoring and the MSTing process... you four get to see all 
of the gory details as they unfold in living color!
(Everyone inside the room gulps)

>Yeah and I don't own these characters, but Pioneer and AIC do. And 
>if I did own these characters though, I probably wouldn't be writing 
>a sick fanfic would I?

Misa: I guess that makes sense...

>---

Senichi: Look! It's a line break!  The story must be starting!
Vegita: Oh, great, another lemon is starting.

>	"Tenchi, you are a loser!" taunted a menacing voice.

Makoto: Wow, that was blunt.

>	"Huh? What the fuck! Where am I?" said Tenchi as he looked 
>around at unfamiliar surroundings.

Senichi: Uhm, I'm no expert, and I may be wrong, but I don't think 
Tenchi would ever say that.
Alex (outside): Like I said... OOC.

>	"You are on a plate of sashimi," said the voice.

Vegita: Hence the title...

>	"Okay then..." Tenchi said as his voice trailed off.

Makoto: Geeze, he sure seems calm.
Misa: If I woke up on a plate of ANYTHING, I'd be freaked out.
(The others nod in agreement))

>	At that moment Tenchi heard a familiar voice.

>	"Oh Tenchi! Wake up my Tenchi!"

Senichi: Fifty thousand yen says that's Ryoko!

>---

Senichi: Wha?  Another page break?  Is the story over already?
Vegita: Probably just a transition.

>	Tenchi woke up from his sleep to see Ryoko hovering over him,

Vegita: See?
Senichi: Yes, and I was right!

>but something was wrong with Ryoko today. That's when Tenchi 
>noticed it, Ryoko's eye was missing.

Misa: Don't you think he'd notice that right away?
Makoto: Seems like he would, but anyway, that's pretty gross.
Vegita: That's nothing, I've had arms ripped off, legs blown up, and 
had my eye shot out several times, and now look at me!  My power 
level is rivaled by none!
Alex (outside): What about Goku?
(Vegita begins to grumble to himself)

>	"Ryoko! Your eye! It's missing!" gasped Tenchi. 

Makoto: Again, very blunt.

>	"Of course it is! Don't you know! Since the animators never gave 
>me a cunt, I have to use the next best thing instead," explained 
>Ryoko.

Senichi: From what I've heard, most women, who actually partake in 
that kind of activity, like anal sex as much as "normal" sex.
Makoto: It's true.
(Everyone stares at Makoto)
Makoto: I mean, uh... I've heard that too!
Misa: However, she did refer to this in light of the fact that her eye 
is missing.
Vegita: I've got a bad feeling about this.

>	"But couldn't you have used your, uh, butt instead of your eye 
>socket?" asked Tenchi.

Senichi: See what I'm talking about?
Vegita: Wow, I'm surprised that he knows about anal sex.

>	"Washu plugged my ass up with butt plugs, so I'm left with my 
>eye socket. Well? How' bout it Tenchi? Wanna fuck my eye socket?" 
>asked Ryoko.

(Everyone pukes, including Senichi)
Senichi (wiping off his mouth): Now, THAT is something that even I 
would never endorse!
Vegita: Did you remember to take down the name of the guy who 
wrote this fic?
Misa: Yeah, I got it.  I'm going to send some Love-Love monsters 
against that person as soon as we finish this MST!
Vegita: And I'm going to go ki... ki... ki... send that guy to another 
dimension!
(Vegita growls and blasts a lamp in the room, utterly destroying it)

>	"Stop right there you monster!

Senichi: Fifty thousand yen says that's Ayeka!

>You will not have the pleasure of having Tenchi up your eye socket!" 
>yelled Ayeka as she busted into Tenchi's room.

Senichi: Can I call it or what?
Vegita: No, this fic is just very predictable.

>	"Hey! What happened to the security on Tenchi's door?" asked 
>Ryoko.
>
>	"Azaka and Kamadake were horny, so I let them have sex with 
>it," answered Ayeka.

Senichi: Well... I... guess... that could work.
Makoto: How is that, exactly?
Senichi: Ayeka did bring them all from Jurai, and they are all logs.
Makoto: I see...

>	"Hey! What's going on here! This is fucked up! How can logs have 
>sex with a security system?!" yelled out Tenchi.

Misa: That's what we want to know!
Vegita: It's probably going to be explained pretty soon.

>	"Because you are on a plate of sashimi Tenchi.

Vegita: (sarcastically) Of course, why didn't I think of that?

>You will now see the one you desire most enter your room now," 
>said the unknown voice.

Senichi: (chuckling) Fifty thousand yen says it's Mihoshi.
Vegita: I'll wager on Kiyone.
Makoto: Uhm... Washu, I guess.
Misa: Based on the last fic we did, I'm going to have to say Sasami.

>	And at that moment Noboyuki entered the room.

(The MSTers are in shock)
Vegita: Well, that was unexpected.
Senichi: No kidding.

>Tenchi gazed at his father, Tenchi couldn't stop himself from 
>getting an erection from looking at his father.

Misa: Okay, now we can add to the list... Ryo-ohki is a lesbian, Tenchi 
is adopted, loves himself, is a pedophile, is a hermaphodite, and is 
gay!
Alex (outside): Once again, I need to remind you that Tenchi is 
exceptionally out of character here.  Plus, that hermaphodite part 
was merely a typo in the last fic.  And Tenchi isn't adopted.  Please 
try to remember that during the next fic.
Vegita: The NEXT one?
(Everyone gulps)

>Noboyuki stared back at Tenchi and blushed, it was obvious that 
>Noboyuki wanted Tenchi.

Makoto: (Bob, from Reboot) This is bad.
Vegita: (ditto) Really Bad.

>	"Father, please, give it to me up the ass," said Tenchi, trying to 
>sound as seductive as he could to his father.

(Senichi begins to cry)
Misa: What's wrong big guy?
Senichi: Lemons are supposed to be fun!  This is wrong!  Why do you 
think you never see it in porn?
(Makoto stares at the screen and everyone looks at her.  Eventually, 
she notices)
Makoto: Uhm... oh yeah... gross, right?

>	"Tenchi! You have given me a huge erection, and Ryoko's eye 
>socket is just amazing too," said Noboyuki, "Hey Ryoko? Would you 
>mind if I used the blood from your eye socket to lubricate my 
>penis?"

Everyone: Urp.

>	"Of course, you are Tenchi's dad after all," said Ryoko.

Everyone: Urp.

>	"Please! Use my eye instead! Jurai blood is better than that 
>demon's blood any day!" said Ayeka as she pushed Ryoko out of the 
>way.

Vegita: Okay, last time I kept saying that I've seen worse.  Not this 
time.  This is the worst I've ever seen.

>	"Hmmm... Tenchi, I'm going to use Ryoko's eye socket, you 
>should go to Ayeka and puncture her eye with your penis. That way 
>we'll have twice as much lubricant," said Noboyuki as he grabbed 
>Ryoko's head and pushed his penis into Ryoko's eye socket.

Vegita (turning green): Yeah, this is the worst.

>	"Tenchi, please, puncture my eye with your penis, I want to 
>feel the pleasure that you can only get when you are fucked in the 
>eye," said Ayeka.

Makoto: I highly doubt that is pleasurable.  I mean, a lot of things 
are, but... (covers her mouth again)
(Everyone else looks at her again)
Makoto: I mean, oh MAN, that's gross!

>	"Are you sure about this Ayeka? I mean, I've heard stories of 
>women who've lost their eye for the first time, and they all say 
>that it's very painful," asked Tenchi.

Misa: Gee... ya think?

>	"Yes, I'm sure, I've wanted it like this even since the first time
>I laid eyes on you," said Ayeka.

Senichi: I REALLY hope that pun wasn't on purpose.

>	"But you kicked me off your bed... oh well, never mind," said 
>Tenchi as he put his penis in front of Ayeka's eye. Tenchi quickly 
>punctured Ayeka's eye, and entered her socket. He could feel Ayeka's 
>brain with his penis, the pleasure was just too much for him. 
>Tenchi shot his semen onto Ayeka's brain.

(Everyone in the room pukes again)
Makoto: Why did we have to see that?
Vegita: Yes, Alex, why did we have to see that?
Alex (outside): I told you, I have my orders.

>	As Tenchi regained his composure he noticed that Ayeka was 
>on the  floor. She was wriggling like crazy due to the fact that she 
>had just had her brain hit by Tenchi's penis.

Misa: Kinda like in cartoons... you cut open someone's skull and poke 
the brain and it does stuff to the body!  But that's STILL sick!

>	"Tenchi! You haven't forgotten about me have you?" said 
>Noboyuki.

Vegita: Oh, we wish you had.

>	"Of course not dad! Here, let me spread my ass out for you so 
>you can enter me," said Tenchi as he spread out his ass.

Senichi: Porn isn't supposed to be this way!

>	Tenchi wasn't prepared for what happened next. Noboyuki 
>entered  Tenchi quickly and started pumping his penis in and out of 
>his sons anus.

(Everyone is struggling to hold in what's left of thier lunches)
Makoto: Not good...
Misa: Bad...
Vegita: Very bad...
Senichi: Why did they have to pervert porn this way?
(Everyone blinks)
Makoto: Well, that's an oxymorn if I've ever heard one.

>	"Oh yeah dad! You like that don't you! Come on fuck your son! 
>Your nothing more than a pig are you?" Tenchi yelled to his dad.
>
>	"Oh yes Tenchi! You're so tight, I think I'm gonna cum in your 
>ass!" yelled Noboyuki as he fucked his son.

Vegita: I'm going to get the author of this fic and when I do I'm going 
to ki... ki... ki...
Makoto: Kill him, right?
Vegita: Precisely, I'm going to send him to another dimension.
(Vegita realizes what he just said and blows up another piece of 
furniture)

>	"Tell me dad! Who's a better fuck? Me or mom? Tell me or you 
>can't cum in me!" yelled Tenchi.

Makoto: No, can't he leave his mom out of it?
Senichi: Achika, she's so innocent and pure!  Even I wouldn't touch 
her!

>	"You are Tenchi! Your so much tighter than she was!" answered 
>Noboyuki, "Oh Tenchi! I'm cumming!" yelled Noboyuki as he came into 
>his son's ass.

(Everyone loses their lunch for a third time)

>	"Oh dad, that was so great, we have to do that more often," 
>said Tenchi.

Misa: Please don't...
Makoto: Think of the children...

>	"Let's go downstairs to see what Sasami cooked for breakfast," 
>said Noboyuki.

Vegita: What?  No!  Sasami had better not be in this fic!
Misa: Remember what Alex said?  She's not in a lemon scene.
Vegita: Thank Kami.

>	"Okay, let's go."

Vegita: But I'm still worried.

>---

Senichi: Yes!  Page break!  The fic is over!
(Everyone gets ready to cheer, but the fic continues)

>	"Wow Sasami! That smells great what is it?" asked Tenchi.
>
>	"Don't call me Sasami! I'm getting my name changed to Susami!" 
>yelled Sasami/Susami.

Senichi: Ack!  Evil Susami!
Vegita: What's that?
Senichi: That's another really bad fic in which Sasami's name is 
always misspelled as "Susami."

>	"So what did you cook?" asked Tenchi.
>
>	"I cooked my leg, that's why my leg is amputated now," said 
Sasami/Susami.

Misa: Wow, that was random.
Makoto: And gross.

>	"Tenchi! You are a loser! You are on a plate of Sashimi," said the
>voice.

Makoto: Blunt, yet again.

>	Tenchi suddenly got dizzy as he heard those words. After a few 
>seconds Tenchi fell to the ground and passed out.

Senichi: Could it be?  Is this horrible excuse for a fic over yet?

>---

Senichi: Page break!  Could it be?

>	Tenchi awoke to only find himself, sleeping on a plate of 
>Sashimi.

Senichi: Didn't think so.

>	"Well I guess that must have been a dream then, Dad was so 
>good too," Tenchi thought aloud.

Vegita: Please don't reminisce on the horrible act that just took 
place.

>	"Hey Tenchi! Look what I got!" yelled Noboyuki.
>
>	"What is it dad?"

Makoto: Please don't be bad!

>	"I got Ryo-Oh-Ki's eye socket!" 

Misa: No, it was just wierd.

>---

Senichi: Page break.  Could it be the end?

>End

Senichi: Wow!  It's over!
(Everyone cheers)

>I made this fanfic mainly because I wanted to make something that 
>would make normal hentai's puke.

Senichi and Makoto: You succeeded.
(Everyone stares at Makoto)
Makoto: Uhm... don't you agree that it made Senichi puke?

>Of course if you weren't disgusted by this fanfic, then you qualify 
>for being more hentai than me, because I'm disgusted at what I 
>wrote. Actually now that I think of it, this fanfic really sucked.

Vegita: I wish he had noticed that before he posted it

>Oh yeah 1st fanfic ever too, that's why this one sucks.

Misa: Not just that...

>Why not try to convert me at alienboy52@hotmail.com

Vegita: Oh good, I'll convert you... to another dimension!
(He growls and blasts Senichi)
Senichi: Ouch!  What was that for?
Vegita: I still remember what you did last fic.
Senichi: Oh.

>Or you can go to the best website around
>
>http://www.seanbaby.com
>
>Seanbaby is just so sexy, I want to be like him someday.

Makoto: That's probably a BAD thing.
Misa: Is it over yet?
Vegita: I certainly hope so.

*****************************************************

	Alex suddenly appears in the room.  "Well, I would like to thank 
you all again for doing this.  I know it's a very hard job."
	Vegita keeps quiet.
	Alex looks at Vegita, "What?  Not mad?"
	Vegita responds, "No, I was hoping that I would be rotated out 
this time."
	Alex smiles and says, "You know what?  This group seems to 
work well, I think I'll stick with you all for a while."
	Senichi groans, "Well, I'll stick with it if there are never any 
more fics like this that we have to do."
	Alex shakes his head, "I doubt any other fics like this will turn 
up."
	Pixy Misa sighs, "I do have to say, that fic was horrible, but 
doing this does give me some time off from fighting that terrible 
Pretty Sammy."
	Nodding, Makoto adds, "Yeah, this does relieve stress, but 
please, no more fics like this."
	Alex looks at Vegita, "Well, what do you say?  Will you agree 
to be a part of the team permanently?"
	Vegita looks up and at the other people in the room.  "Well, 
someone has to hunt these people down and punish them.  I guess I'll 
stay, too."
	Alex smiles again.  "Good, I'll see you all next time."
	They all nod and find themselves back in their own universes.

*****************************************************

	The chair swivels around once again.  "Well, I hope you have 
enjoyed this MSTing of 'Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi.'  If you didn't 
like it, I blame it on the fic itself for being so bad.  You can send any 
and all comments to me at KevCHughes@aol.com.  Thank you all for 
watching, and goodnight."  The chair turns around and the room goes 
dark.