MST Master Mike is sitting around, cleaning his study and going through his enormous piles of Tenchi fan fics and cheap H-Doujinshi scans, when he comes to one labeled "Love and Betrayal". He picks it up, skims through it. (Thinks to himself) "What the hell is this? Why is this piece of junk in my pile! Oh no, this is worse than all of those other crappy x-overs that I read. Why would I ever have kept this. Oh no, maybe all of those cans of glue that I huffed when I was eight have finally caught up with me. I've actually kill enough brain cells to consider this an alright story. I must avenge my stupidity, but how. I know, I will avenge all of the Tenchi fans who have ever read this story by writing a scathing MST of it!" (suddenly jumps to his feet, shouting) "In order to review a fan fic this poor, I will have to assemble my CRACK FANFIC REVIEW TEAM, (dun-dun-da)" 1. Heero Yuy- Gundam Pilot and Japan's #1 consumer of Spandex 2. Dilandau Albatou- From Vision of the Escaflowne- "I like fires" 3. Lucretia Noin- everyone's favorite Gundam gurl (Quatre: "Mizz NOIN!") 4. Kagato- of Tenchi Muyo! 5. Me, MST Master Mike- Who can fit three billard balls in his mouth. Let's get started! >Disclaimer: Okay this is a lemon so if you are 18 please turn >back. No I don't own Tenchi or Sailor Moon, I'm just borrowing >them for my story. Makeni Hakubi is mine however, so don't >use him without my permission. To sum up, just don't sue me, I >have no money. Enjoy. Mike: Maybe that's cause you don't have a real job >* * - thinking Heero: I find that hard to believe >Chapter 1: The Arrival > "Okay Serena. I need to tell you something before we get to Tenchi's >house. Darien looked at Serena's face. Dilandau: Since when does Darien know Tenchi? Heero: Maybe they met at a SA meeting Noin: What's that? Heero: Studs Anonymous, it's for guys who have trouble getting rid of girls just won't go away. I had to go to a few when Reelena kept stalking me after I threatened to kill her. > *She's so beautiful.* > His eyes studied her. The sun cast across her hair, making it shimmer >like spun gold. Her eyes looked like crystal clear skies in June. Mike: Are the skies always clear in June? Dilandau: Not when they are filled with smoke from Lord Van's smoldering corpse! Mike: Are you all right Dilandau? Dilandau (To himself, whispering): Chiku, Chiku, Chiku Mike(Looks away from Dil): O_o, Okay, moving on. >Serena noticed him studying her, but she wanted to know what he had to say. > "You see, Tenchi's house is full of ... Mike: Unpublished Tenchi OAVs? Heero: Spandex? Kagato: The universe's ultimate power? Noin: Cute, small puppy dogs? Dilandau: Fire? >girls." he let it out slowly and waited for her answer. Everyone: Damn! >"That will be cool. So I won't be the only girl there, and now I'll >someone to hang with. Don't worry Darien, I trust you." she smiled at him, >allowing him to sigh in relief. Noin: Fool! I would never trust a strange man who wears a mask and dresses up like a fool at night! Heero: What about Zechs? Noin: Ah, nevermind. > He didn't know what she would say, but he was glad at the answer she >gave him. > *I really don't deserve her. She is so good to me.* > ~*~ Dilandau: Woah, what the hell was that? Mike: What, you mean that -*- thing? Inferior writers often use strange pictures like that try and convince us of their moral superiority! > "RYOKO! Leave Tenchi alone, you filthy demon!" Ayeka had hold of >Tenchi's left arm and was trying to push Ryoko away from him. > "Back off princess! Don't make me have to hurt you!" Ryoko and Ayeka >engaged in their combative stances, energy sword and logs going. Kagato: Ah, my little Ryoko and the princess, I wish I was there right now so that I could end both of their trivial existence. >HONK! HONK! > Everyone, but the two feuding ones, ran outside. > "Get down Safiiru!" Tenchi tackled him just before an energy blast flew >over their bodies. The energy blast hit the lake, and a tidal wave emerged >to soak them all. Mike: Wait, I don't remember any Tenchi character by that name, do you Kagato? Kagato: No, maybe he was introduced after that bastard child Tenchi vaporized me! > Ryoko and Ayeka peered out the hole in the wall at Tenchi. He was mad, >more so then ever before. > "Would you two stop fighting for atleast the time my cousins are here? >If you can't, then go somewhere else!" Tenchi was seething. Mike: "atleast" we know the author does not have access to a spell check or dictionary now. Noin: or the cognitive reasoning center of her brain. > "Sorry Tenchi, we'll be good." they both recited together and parted >their ways, but not without one last nasty look. > "They are hopeless." Tenchi was shaking his head. > "Who is hopeless Tenchi?" Heero: That's a good question just who is this "hopeless Tenchi". Noin: Perhaps it's Tenchi ten years in the future and fat! Mike: Noin, that made no sense at all, it would fit perfect in this story. > ~*~ Dilandau: O, another one > Darien and Serena had pulled up to the house to find Tenchi and a few >others standing around, completely soaked. Tenchi was shaking his head in >dismay. Heero: So Kagato, let me get this strait, you fought with this "Tenchi" character, right? Kagato: Yes. Heero: What was the out come of these battles? Kagato: Well um, you see, the boy got lucky, and, um, he got a cheap shot and destroyed me. Mike: Twice. Heero: (Bursts out laughing) > *Oh boy. What happened now?* > Darien laughed and got out of the car. He noticed Safiiru, but none of >the others. The couple went to greet the others. > ~*~ Heero: So wait, you were defeated by this wimp. Aren't you supposed to be some superpowerful villian? And you got creamed by some kid who can't even stand up to his ladies? Kagato: Silence mortal! It was all that damn Washu's falt. And I could wreck you any day! Ohh, look at me I ride around in a foolish looking mecha! My name is Heero, I like to pretend I'm tough but I'm just a fragile flower in the hands of Releena! Heero: (Gives Heero Yuy death glare) > "Hi Darien. None other than Ryoko and Ayeka. Who else?" Tenchi noted >sarcastically and turned to look at the girl standing next to Darien. "You >must be Serena. Darien has told me so much about you that I think I know >you better then he does. It's great to finally meet you. You don't have (Heero and Kagato still fighting) Heero: At least I'm not some deranged old man who likes to pretend he the emperor of Jurai, and you can bet if that Tenchi punk ever messed with me I'd kill him, and do a damn good job of it! Kagato: Just like you killed Releena? Oh my bad, you were probably to busy flirting with that baka Maxwell, to remember all those threats you made to her! >any special powers do you?" > "No." Serena was greatly confused. > Seeing the look on her face, Tenchi and Darien laughed. > "It's a long story. Now lets go inside." (Heero and Kagato are now Screaming) Heero: At least I wasn't schooled by some old man who wears sandals and socks during the winter! Kagato: Look at me I'm Heero, I'd love to fight, but I'm to busy trying to figure out the zero system! Noin: Um, aren't we supposed to reading this story? Mike: Don't worry, I'm sure it would have been a waste. > Everyone but Tenchi started to leave. He stayed to survey the damage. >*It's going to a long two weeks.* > Hanging his head, Tenchi headed towards the house. Mike: See it's over all ready, that wasn't so bad. >------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- >Okay anyone who's everyone, please send me comment. I don't care if they >are flames are good, send them. My email is incognitom666@hotmail.com. Noin: I don't know anyone who's everyone Mike: What the hell, that whole passage makes no sense! Heero: Are flames are good? Mike: They very well might be! >Thanx for now. Hope you liked the first chapter. Mike: No, thank you, for saving my eyes the strain of reading an extra letter in the word "Thanks". >By the way how old do you all think I am? Mike: Judging by you intellect, I'd say about five. Noin: Maybe an advanced four year old. Mike: Well team, that's it, you can all go home now. Heero: See you around Kagato: No, not back to that hell hole! Noin: Bye, and Mike, I'm not doing any more MSTs "fresh from the shower". Dilandau: Chiku, chiku, chiku Mike: Please direct all comments or email to Doormann2000 --part1_46.10889fab.27b9c88f_boundary-