A French Fry: The MST of Sasami's Quest part 1.

Following a strange accident involving a carload of strippers and a tanker truck 
of baby oil, two friends arrive at a nearby ER and are subsequently pronounced 
DOA (dead on arrival).  After living lives as sarcastic, cynical bastards, Jerry 
and Bob soon end up in hell. However, Satan is quick to realize their potential 
and after a short period of the required wailing and gnashing of teeth, Jerry 
and Bob are promoted from tormentees to tormentors. Their assignment: the 
punishment of the twisted little fruits that write lemons. They eagerly accepted 
the assignment. 

Jerry the Juicer- A being of moderation. Physically at least. He is of average 
height, slightly below average weight technically (he's not overweight), and 
very non-descript physical features. He blends into a crowd easily. Which he 
used to his advantage back on earth... He is dressed in plain, dark clothes, as 
most denizens of hell are, and slouches slightly on Satan's Couch. The only 
unusual thing about this otherwise bland character is the air of danger and fear 
that seems to permeate the area around him and the dark intelligence that lurks 
behind his eyes. That and the juicer that he always carries which is perpetually 
covered in a mysterious, and slightly disturbing slimy substance.

Ben Sagle- (Bestial Necromica of Sadistic Glee)- The demonic familiar drawn from 
the darkest aspect of Jerry and given to him when he was appointed one of 
Satan's personal minions. Ben is about two feet tall with large leathery wings, 
and wicked teeth and claws, dripping with caustic sarcasm.

Defiler Bob- The world shuttered when he was born and rejoiced in his death. He 
is Jerry's best friend. Defiler Bob got the title "Defiler" from what is know in 
Hell as the "weasel incident". He is currently wearing just a pair of tight 
black leather pants and an evil grin. He has long black hair parted down the 
middle. Two beady red eyes can be seen from beneath his hair. In sharp contrast 
to his hair and clothes is his ghastly pale skin. Though Jerry is the wittier of 
the two, Bob is by far the more sadistic and has the ability to summon lesser 
demons to do his will.

Pepe (Putrid Entity of Pure Evil)- His name is pronounced like that horny skunk 
from Looney Tunes. This is Defiler Bob's familiar, which is draw from his 
sadistic nature and was given to him around the same time Jerry received Ben 
Sagle. Pepe looks like an ordinary bunny rabbit with white fur. But under all 
that beats the black heart a sociopath.

Satan's Couch- A piece of demonic furniture created by the Prince of Darkness 
himself, specifically for the use of Defiler Bob and Jerry the Juicer in their 
torment of lemon writers. It can change shape and size depending on the needs of 
Jerry and Bob. It also adds its own comments occasionally. It has become a good 
friend of and co-tormentor with Jerry and Bob.

Winky the one eyed Christmas elf- Winky resides in one of the projection rooms 
of the Multiplex of the Damned. Winky was sent to hell after Mrs. Claus found 
him making strange shadow puppets in the Doll Room of Santa's Workshop

We find our heroes cruising down route 666 in their 1972 Dodge Dart Demon, the 
company car they conned out of Satan. They are on their way from their cozy 
domicile in the 8th circle to the 2nd circle and the Multiplex of the Damned.

Defiler Bob: I'm just sayin' hypothetically they wouldn't be able to breed.
Ben: You have no idea what you're talking about. I've seen it happen.
Defiler Bob: **thinks for a second** But how would it fit in there?
Ben: It's a tight squeeze, but it fits.
Pepe: Your not kidding! I'm still walking bow-legged!
Jerry: How does a rabbit walk? Aren't you supposed to hop?
Pepe: I also have a pseudo-human form.
Jerry: I don't even want to think about that.
Ben: **looks at watch** Switch!
**everyone crawls into a different seat as the car swerves violently**
Jerry: **slides into driver's seat and grabs wheel** Incoming! **Tries to 
control car as it careens towards river Styx**
Pepe: Hold your breath! 
**Car plunges into river Styx, and slowly sinks to bottom. Somehow engine is 
still running. (It's hell, anything is possible)**
Ben: **looking cautiously out window and hoping it holds** Why is everyone 
giving us the finger?
Jerry: We're amongst the sullen my dim-witted friend.
Ben: Eh?
Defiler Bob: This is where all the eternally pissed off people end up.
Pepe: That would explain all the postal uniforms.
**Jerry pulls up the far bank onto dry land**
Ben: Switch!
**Everyone scrambles again, this time Bob ends up driving**
Defiler Bob: **struggling for control of the car** Watch out!
**car clips one of the Hoarders, causing a chain reaction that leaves the 
Wasters in control, rolling the boulder over the remaining Hoarders, narrowly 
missing the car**
Pepe: Why do we keep doing that?
Ben: Because it's fun.
Defiler Bob and Jerry: Hell yeah!
Defiler Bob: Pedestrian! **Slams into a wandering soul** Funky fresh killin' HA 
HA!!!
**car begins fishtailing in slush of the 3rd circle**
Ben: Switch!
Pepe: Now?!
**another crazy scramble ensues as the car starts spinning out of control, with 
various bodies bouncing off the bumper**
Pepe: **now in pseudo-human form and his hands on the wheel** Okay, we're going 
to end this little game.
**everyone else grumbles as Pepe regains control and heads toward the Multiplex 
in the next circle**
**As they approach Bob snaps his fingers and Pepe reverts to his rabbit form, 
landing on the gas pedal. The car hits a small barrier (designed for just such 
an occasion) and Bob, Jerry and Ben go flying through the windshield and into 
the theater. Pepe is not so lucky. He is propelled forward through the engine 
and ends up as a fine red mist sprayed all over the Multiplex marquee. The goo 
slowly oozes back together and Pepe reforms.**
Pepe: Now that was refreshing.
**They sit down on Satan's couch and signal for Winky to start.**
Winky: You guys look like shit.
Defiler Bob: **still bleeding from a head wound** Just start the damn thing.

	*	*	*	*	*
 
<Hi there ! This is the first part of a 5 part story. It is also my first 
attempt at writinge something in English (i'm French),> 

**Ben begins giggling in evil anticipation**
Pepe: tee hee
**Jerry and Bob both start chuckling**
**They all look at each other then burst out in maniacal laughter**

<therefore there must be some errors in it.>

<Legal stuff.>

<This story is in the Tenchi Muyo OAV universe. All right reserved to whoever 
posses them blah blah blah you get the point.>

Defiler Bob: Hey Azathoth! You have already pissed off the good folks at Pioneer 
by writing this crap so if I were you I would at least show them a little 
respect when it comes to the disclaimer.   

<Important stuff>

<I would like to thank JEEPEAGLE and WYVOREN for their help with the english 
translation of this text.  Merci !>

Defiler Bob: Looks like this kid won't suffer alone.

<Sasami's Quest I>

<It had been a hard day for Sasami. In addition to the daily chores of cleaning 
and cooking, she was forced to stop yet another battle between her sister and 
Ryoko, fight to defend the carrot reserves against Ryo-o-ki>

Jerry: The Cabbit of 1,000 Spellings.

<and save Tenchi from one of Washu's new experiments. At last, all of that was 
done and she could finally relax in the family flying-domed-bathhouse (who built 
that anyway ?).>

Defiler Bob: More importantly who cares? That "bathhouse" exists for one reason 
and that is for blatant animated T&A.

<Being alone except for Ryo-o-ki,  she left her towel on the side of the bath, 
enjoying the contact of the water on her body. She liked this. When the others 
girls were in the bathwith her, she'd always keep her towel on, being too shy to 
show herlittle body to all of those fully grown women.>

Jerry: I'd imagine 12 pounds of water-saturated cotton aren't very relaxing.
Defiler Bob: Probably but what surprises me is that, that's what they do in the 
animated series, But then again it's either that or seeing a naked eight year 
old.  

<For more than a hour, Sasami was in a near-sleep state, being awakened from 
time to time by surprise attacks by Ryo-o-ki who kept trying to poke her on the 
head while staying at a safe distance from the water. She finally decided it was 
time to get out. It was long past her usual bed time.> 

Jerry: And she still had to iron herself to get out all the wrinkles that result 
from staying in the water for more than an hour.

<After all, she needed to be awake and ready more than a hour before the rest of 
the gang to prepare breakfast. She stood up, her eyes closed, feeling the water 
rolling down her body. When she opened her eyes, she saw her reflection on the 
clear water. She knew that it would be many years before she could really enter 
the battle for Tenchi's love.> 

Jerry: Really? That's what we in America call an understatement.

<Would he still be available ?> 

Jerry: I believe raging homosexuality is a life long commitment.
Defiler Bob: He's not a raging homosexual, he's a flaming homosexual. There's a 
difference.
Pepe: And that is?
Winky: The type and severity of STD's. 

<The young girl continued gaze at her reflection. She often saw Ryoko naked in 
the baths, and therefore realized that she was a long way from womanhood. Her 
breasts had begun to grow less than a year ago. She raised her hands to them, 
they were still small but firm, and the little nipples were pointing out on each 
of them. Recently she had discovered that her nipples sometimes felt hard. More 
specifically, they felt hard when Tenchi was around. Still looking at her 
reflection in the water, she let her hand trail down to her flat, smooth 
stomach. Her waist was thin, but not to the point of being boney. She finally 
put both her hands on her waist and looked at her sex;> 

Jerry: Her what? What the hell kind of word is sex? That is the most pathetic 
name for the female genitalia that I have ever heard.

<a fine line was separating the two thin layers of skin. Recently, she had 
happily noticed the appearance of little blue hairs on the lower part of her 
belly and on her nether lips.> 

Defiler Bob: Now wasn't that graphic, children? 
Jerry: Hey, nether lips. That's a good one. 

<Jurai society being quite conservative about sex,> 

Defiler Bob: Wait a minute. Doesn't she come from a planet were the majority of 
the female population is into S&M and practice what they refer to as "Bridegroom 
Training"? How conservative could they possible be?  

<the only thing she knew is that she had started to look like the other girls. 
On some nights, when Aieka and her are in their beds, she can hear her sister 
moving under her futon while gently moaning Tenchi's name.> 

Jerry: Under her futon? One, I thought it was a bed. Two, she sleeps under it? 
What is the point of sleeping under a mattress? And wouldn't that be really 
uncomfortable.

<Feigning sleep, Sasami could not help but notice the strange feeling between 
her legs. One time she even moved a hand to the spot and found that it was a 
little wet. From Ryoko's talking, Sasami knew that a human body can bring great 
pleasure and that is what was probably happening to Aieka. While thinking about 
that, she once again felt that strange sensation inside of her.> 

Jerry: Oh no, it's a chest burster! Holy crap, get the flame-throwers!
**Pepe whips out a flame-thrower and torches the screen**
Winky: Damn it! I have to pay for that and you know there's no money in hell.  
You bastard rodent!
**Suddenly several small demons repel from the ceiling and replace the screen**

<Looking around to be sure that she was still alone, she carefully moved one 
finger on her sex,>

Jerry:  There's that damn sex again. Is that the best you can do?

<feeling a curious but pleasant sensation.> 

Defiler Bob: ** conjures up a spork and uses it to gouged his eyes out ** IT'S 
NOT WORKING I CAN STILL SEE IT! AAAAAAAAHH! IT HAS BEEN BURNED INTO MY MIND! ** 
The spork disappears, Defiler Bob puts his hands over his eyes and after a puff 
of smoke his eyes are back to normal ** And for my next trick I pull a hat out 
of Pepe. ** Bob gets up and bows then sit back down **

<It was decided. The next time she heard Aieka moaning, she would ask her a few 
questions.>

Defiler Bob: Such as...
Pepe: (As Sasami) what in the hell is wrong with you? 
Defiler Bob: Come on, I know everyone at one point or another masturbates, but 
what kind of deprived freak would do it while there kid sister is sleeping about 
a foot away from them.   

<More than a week had passed since Sasami's resolution and still nothing had 
happened. Each day, Sasami got to bed even earlier than usual. When her sister, 
some hours later, finally joined her in their common room she had always feigned 
sleep. Nevertheless, her big sister simply undressed, got in bed and fell 
asleep. This evening Sasami took another bath.> 

Jerry: More than a week between baths? Obviously written by a French guy.
Defiler Bob: Anyone offended by that last line can go out to their backyard and 
play a nice game of "hide and go fuck your self". Then they can e-mail us at 
tormentors_of_the_damned@yahoo.com 

<This time, however, Mihoshi was there too, so Sasami decided to keep her towel 
on despite the fact that the young galaxy police officer was completely naked. 
The little princess really liked Mihoshi and they talked for more than two hours 
before Sasami had to get out to prepare supper.> 

Jerry: Two hours in the water? Look, it's Sasami the prune goddess!

<During all that time Sasami could not get her eyes off of Mihoshi's breasts.>

Winky: Neither can I. 
Defiler Bob: Shut up you doll fucking son of a bitch. 

<They were so big that she could not help but feel jealous. She was wondering if 
they were firm like her's or if they were as soft as they looked.>  

Jerry: Since Sasami's breasts are just the muscles of her ribcage, they would 
have to be firmer than Mihoshi's. 

<Two times during the bath the blue haired girl had walked toward Mihoshi and 
then had intentionally slipped and fallen toward Mihoshi, her hands attempting 
to grasp one of her breasts. The first time she missed completely and got 
nothing more than Mihoshi's concerns.>

Jerry: Ooh, her concerns? I'm sure that was rather uncomfortable for Mihoshi.

<The second time her fall was more accurate but her hand still missed and she 
found herself really falling out of control. She dove completely under water, 
her head crashing onto the concrete,>

Defiler Bob: Ooh that had to sting.
Pepe: Can you say "concussion".  
 
<just between the detective's legs. The girl felt a bump growing on the side of 
her head but her attention was caught by something else. For a second, time 
seemed to cease, and Sasami found herself staring directly at Mihoshi's sex.>

**The corner of Jerry's mouth twitches slightly at the word sex** How uncreative 
is this moron?
Defiler Bob: considering the fact that they wrote a fricken Sasami lemon should 
of told you how uncreative this bastard is.

<A great patch of golden hairs were rippling slowly in the water like wind 
across a field of wheat.> 

Jerry: One, they're all shaved from what I've seen. Two, ewwww, how long would 
those hairs have to be?
Pepe: Dude, she must be furrier than me.
**Jerry bitch slaps him** That was wrong! Little freak.

<In the middle of that the little princess could see, Mihoshi's lips being 
slightly opened by the pressure of water, the clit peeking a little out of the 
folds of her skin, and a little corridor of darkness.> 

Jerry: Hmm, 3 ft. of water. Yeah, I've seen nuclear submarines implode in only 2 
feet of water. I'm surprised she hasn't split in half by now, not just a little 
parting of the lips.

<Then time suddenly resumed,>

Jerry: Whew, she's recovered from her concussion.

<and Sasami could sense Mihoshi's hands coming into the water to help her out to 
the air. One of the officer's hands landed on Sasami's left shoulder but the 
other fallen on her right breast, completely engulfing it in the dark hand.> 

Jerry: Dark hand? Last time I checked she had fairly light, almost pale, skin.

<The princess felt a shock trough her body at this contact and gulped, losing 
what air was left in her lungs.> 

Jerry: The dark hand must have been some sort of electrified glove. 

<She got her head out of the water, gasping and coughing. When she finally re-
opened her eyes, Mihoshi was looking at her with concerned eyes, asking her if 
she was alright. Her left hand had moved quickly to the right shoulder of Sasami 
but the little girl could not forget the sensation she had nor the arousing 
vision she had seen for a mere second before.>

<Sasami was in her bed for more than a hour and she still could not sleep.>

Jerry: Maybe she should count sheep. 
Pepe: how about rabbits ** does some thing obscene with his tongue. **
Defiler Bob: ** thumps Pepe's skull. ** Shut up! Damn fur ball. 
  
<Behind her closed eyelids she was reliving the incident at the bathhouse.> 

Jerry: Yep, I've seen this before. Classic case of Post-Traumatic Stress 
Syndrome. 

<She could still see Mihoshi's breasts in her mind, wishing that she could have 
been able to touch them. They looked so soft. The princess was feeling strange, 
she was fairly sure she should not feel this way about another girl but she 
still desperately wanted to touch the blonde woman.> 

Winky: Me too. 
Defiler Bob: I'm warning you Winky. 
Jerry: "The blonde woman", sounds like it should be in caps. "The Blonde Woman".

<She was thinking about her under-water vision> 

Jerry: Wow, she has underwater vision? Concussions can cause blurring of vision.

<when she heard the door of her room open. She didn't move or make a sound so 
her sister would think that she was asleep. Aieka closed the door quietly and 
started to undress herself. Sasami could hear the many layers of clothes of her 
sister fall on the ground. As usual the first princess did not take care of 
placing her clothes correctly and would have to ask Sasami  to iron them 
tomorrow.> 

Jerry: Bitch.
Ben: Slacker whore.
Pepe: Skank.
Defiler Bob: Woman of loose morals!
**Everyone gives Bob a blank stare. **

<Aieka finally got in her bed and the silence returned. After 2 or 3 minutes 
Sasami heard her sister calling her quietly.>

Jerry: Why did she call her? She's in the same room, just talk to her.  And 
since when did they have phones next to their beds?
**Jerry now gets a blank stare from everyone else**

<"Sasami? Sasami," she asked softly.>

<The little girl didn't respond, hoping that something would happen.>

<"Good," Aieka said to herself, "she's asleep.">

<Sasami could not repress a little smile that crept on her face.> 

Jerry: Oh no! A smile crept on to her face! Someone knock it off before it tries 
to kill her!

<It would seem that she was right. At first she could not hear anything and 
thought that maybe Aieka was sleeping.> 

Jerry: Hmmm, hearing loss, her concussion seems to be worsening.

<Then she heard movement under her sister's futon.>

Jerry: She's under her futon again. She is so weird.
Ben: Like totally.

<She tried a quick glance and saw that her sister was on her back, eyes closed, 
mouth open and both her arms under the futon.> 

Jerry: How could she see her if she was under her futon? 

<The little princess moved her head a little to get a better view. She could see 
a little movement under the futon. It would seem that one of Aieka's hands was 
moving around her breasts while the other was busy between her legs. Sasami was 
still quiet, looking at her sister with a little smile,> 

Jerry: Ah, she got the smile off her face and made friends with it.

<listening to her breathing increasing in speed. She started to feel that 
strange sensation between her legs> 

Pepe: The chest burster found the back door!
** Defiler Bob thumps Pepe's skull again. ** 

<and quietly moved her right hand to that region. It was a good idea. She was 
only touching her pajamas, but she could still feel a pleasant sensation. Aieka 
was still breathing faster and now both her hands seemed to be between her legs. 
Sasami was still looking, but she was a little confused. Of course the contact 
on her sex> 

Jerry: **grimaces at mention of sex again** Son of a...

<was feeling good but Aieka looked like she was having a really great time. 
Almost unconsciously, the little princess moved her hand under her pajamas and 
felt the soft fabric of her panties. An electric shock seemed to pass trough 
Sasami's body and she let go of a little "ah!">

Jerry: And she suddenly noticed two wires leading away from her bed and wondered 
how they got there.

<At the sound of her sister's voice, Aieka abruptly stopped her action> 

Jerry: Yep, she canceled all her bets and told all her clients to find another 
bookie. **Suddenly jumps up** And you thought they couldn't get any lamer than 
that bed-phone joke!
Defiler Bob: Someone's a little off tonight.
Ben: It's that time of the month.
**Jerry places a boot in Ben's mouth with a swift, sure motion whereupon the 
poor imp crashed into the ceiling**

<and turned her head toward Sasami. The little princess's eyes were wide open, 
looking directly at Aieka and a little blush was on her cheeks.> 

Jerry: A little blush, geez, she has all kinds of things crawling around her 
face. They might want to have their room fumigated.
Defiler Bob: Speaking of which...**Stomps on the ground. A small scream comes 
from under his shoe. **

<Aieka didn't know what to do. Had her sister heard her touching herself?> 

Ben: Nah, it was muffled by the futon she's under.

<Did she know what she was doing ? What should she say ? Why had Sasami moaned 
?> 

Jerry: She moaned? I must have missed that. All I heard was a surprised "ah"!

<The two sisters were looking at each other in the little moonlight.>

Ben: Why is everything little? Were they somehow transported to a micro-universe 
when we weren't looking?

<Finally, Sasami got a full breath and decided to talk.>

<"What were you doing sis," she asked.>

Winky: She was...** Before Winky could finish Defiler Bob conjured up the spork 
from before.  With out even looking he flung it behind his back and through the 
small window of the projection room. ** OH SHIT MY GOOD EYE! AAAAAAAH! I'M 
BLIND!        

<"What ?  Well.. I.. I was not doing anything," she replied evasively.>

<Sasami could not help but laugh softly when she saw how red her sister's face 
was now.>

Jerry: She can see that in the "little" moonlight while her sister is under a 
futon?
Defiler Bob: Some one has a set of x-ray specs. ** gets up and points at Jerry. 
** Top that little man!

<"You where doing something. Your hands were moving under the futon.">

<"No. I was.. scratching myself that's all.">

<"Come on sis. Tell me what you were doing. I want to know, please," Sasami 
begged.>

<Aieka was feeling worse and worse. How would she get out of this mess? Talking 
about sex had always made her feel bad. She remembered the first and only time 
she had a talk about sex with her mother, Misaki. She was fourteen and her 
mother was more open about sex than the average Juraian.> 

Jerry: Let's see here, Aeka was 14, Sasami is 8, a 6 year difference. So, that 
would be 3/4 of Sasami's lifetime...Shouldn't be a big deal. **the amount of 
sarcasm per cubic inch in the room goes up another point or two**

<She told her about the reproduction side of the sex and a little bit about how 
"fun" that sex can be. However, should she try to explain all of that to Sasami 
now? She felt really strange. She was about to come when she had stopped.>

Ben: **blinks** Say again? I think her train of thought just jumped the tracks. 

<What should she do? Sasami was now sitting on her bed still looking at her. 
Aieka was still feeling the moisture between her legs and she wanted to touch 
herself but couldn't.>

Defiler Bob: I would think that being interrupted by ones younger sister would 
totally kill the mood.   

<Aieka> 

Jerry: Crawling out from under her futon.

<finally sit up on her bed, keeping the cover over her body, just letting her 
face show.>

<"Ok Sasami. What do you think I was doing," Aieka asked, resigned.>

<"You were touching your body," Sasami said.>

Jerry: That's awfully vague, don't you think. If your going to accuse someone of 
masturbating in front of you, at least be direct about it.
   
<"Why do you think I was doing that?">

Defiler Bob: Because the bastard that wrote this lemon is a fucking perv. 

<It was Sasami's turn to blush. She didn't know how to respond.>

<"Because it felt a little.. good?">

<"Why do you say that ?">

<"Because sometimes when I put my hand between my legs it makes me feel strange 
.. and good.">

<"I see. It would seem that you're older than I thought.> 

Jerry: Self-justification snuck into the storyline. Ingenious trick on the 
"writer's" part. Doesn't make him any less of a perv though.

<I haven't see your body for some time now>

Jerry: I don't think Sasami's seen her body for some time now, between her 
triple-layer clothes and the towel in the baths.

<so I can't tell how much you have developed but ...">

Defiler Bob: So your telling us you forgot how old your little sister is here's 
a hint. ** Whips out a bullhorn and takes a deep breathe.  ** SHE IS EIGHT 
FUCKING YEARS OLD!!!

<"But what?">

<A little smile was on Aieka's face.> 

Ben: Those smiles are infesting the place.

<An idea had just occurred to her. For some time she had been masturbating while 
thinking about Tenchi.> 

Jerry: Really! Thanks for sharing!

<Of course it felt good but surely not as good as when somebody else touches 
you.>

Defiler Bob: oh shit this fic just took a very disturbing turn.

<"Do you know how to get pleasure by touching yourself," asked Aieka.>

<The little princess was blushing even more.>

<"What ? N.. no," she stammered.>

<"The best way for you to learn would be for me to show you how to touch me so 
you will know how to touch yourself.">

Defiler Bob: Oh! SWEET JESUS!!! ** A figure in a white robe appears. **
Jesus: What!!!
Defiler Bob: Nothing, Just taking your name in vein.
Jesus: ** As he disappears ** jackass.

<"You... you think so?">

<"Yes. But we must keep that for yourself ok?">

Jerry: How are they both going to keep something only for Sasami? By saying "we" 
they've already defeated the goal of keeping it only for Sasami.
Defiler Bob: That's deep, man. **takes a hit off a bong, then passes it to 
Pepe**
Pepe: **takes a hit** That's some good shit man. **passes out**
Ben: I don't think he's breathing...

<"Ok... What should I do?">

<Aieka felt a surge of triumph.> 

Jerry: Are you sure it's not vomit? That's what I'm feeling a surge of. Maybe 
disgust, sometimes that feels like triumph. Usually when you've suffered some 
sort of brain damage though. 

<She glanced at the door and pulled the blanket off of her. She was wearing 
pajamas too.> 

Ben: Oh my gawd! What a coincidence! That is, like so funny!
Defiler Bob: **still wasted, nudges Pepe** Wake up man.

<She started to unbutton her top slowly, bit by bit it opened a little more. The 
princess kept the top on, but it was open enough to see that she was not wearing 
a bra. Then, still sitting, she removed her pajama pants.> 

Jerry: Okay, how does one remove a pair of pants while still sitting on them? 
That would take some considerable talent.
Winky:**smugly** I can do it. **a small pair of evergreen pants flies through 
the air**
Defiler Bob: **pries the bong from Pepe's cold paw and takes another hit** Hey, 
I'll toast your buns for ya'. **Snaps fingers and a fire erupts in the projector 
room, somehow not damaging the equipment**

<Now Sasami could see a little of her sister's breasts and a white pair of 
panties.>

<"Come here Sasami," Aieka said.>

<The little princess came and sat near her sister.>

<When she was close enough, Aieka took Sasami's left hand and put it on her 
legs. Then, still holding the little girl's hand she made her slide it up to the 
top of her panties.>

<"I will teach you how to give me pleasure," Aieka said in a soft voice.>

Defiler Bob: ** snaps out of the drug induced delirium ** hearing a line like 
that would bring down any high.  

<Then the older princess laid down on her back, still holding Sasami's hand 
against her underwear. She spread her legs apart and started rubbing her 
sister's hand between her legs. Then she let the hand go and Sasami kept the 
rhythm, rubbing and rubbing her hand against her sister. Aieka was moaning with 
pleasure. It was really something else.> 

Jerry: What was it? I think it was exactly what she said it was or maybe it was 
mind rending guilt and self-repulsion, who knows?

<Sasami started enjoying it,> 

Defiler Bob: Who wouldn't enjoy doing something to her sister that is illegal in 
most civilized countries.
Ben: Apparently France isn't one of them. Damn euro-trash.

<And it was obvious that Aieka was having fun so the girl was happy. Then 
Aieka's hand came once again over her's. She removed the hand from her body then 
let go off it. Sasami looked at her sister with surprise and all she saw was a 
great big smile on Aieka's face. She looked back at her sister's undies and saw 
that Aieka was removing them. A thin layer of purple hairs were showing under 
the little light.>

<"Again Sasami. Please," Aieka said urgently.>

<Sasami blushed once again but put her hand back where it was a moment ago. The 
sensation was quite different. She was still rubbing her fingers on her sister's 
sex> 

Jerry: **begins tapping fingers madly on sofa arm, then takes a few deep breaths 
and tries to count to 10** 1...2...3....SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT! That's it! I 
can't stand this dumbass saying "sex" anymore! I just...I 
mean...Seriously...**screams in frustration, then leaps off couch** Ben come on! 
We're going to find this twisted fuck and **his voice suddenly becomes very 
quiet** make an example of him.
** Ben looks up from poking Pepe with a stick and joins Jerry in an elevator 
that mysteriously appeared in the theater**
Defiler Bob: **looks at Pepe, squints slightly** Jinkes, I think he's dead. He 
never could handle the good stuff. **in true Defiler fashion, he snaps his 
fingers and Pepe is up and moving** I guess it's up to you and me to get the 
bastards that translated this.  Winky, stop this load of monkey spunk for a 
minute.
Winky: I can't see a damn thing! How am I supposed control the projector!
** Defiler Bob snaps his fingers, healing Winky's spork-damaged eye**
Winky: I can see!
**Defiler Bob and Pepe suddenly disappear in a traditional flash of fire and 
brimstone**
**On Earth an elevator car bursts through the floor of Azathoth's room. The door 
opens, revealing an extremely pissed off Jerry. He stares at Azathoth for a 
moment as Ben, now 7 feet tall and with muscles the size of most foreign cars, 
leaps out. Azathoth, ironically, screams like an 8 year old girl as Ben takes 
inventory of his internal organs.**

A few minutes later we find our heroes standing outside the Multiplex of the 
Damned. Defiler Bob is holding a bloody trash bag and Jerry the Juicer has a 
small sandwich bag. The baggy holds several small chunks floating in assorted 
bodily fluids.

Defiler Bob: Okay when I revive these jackasses and start explaining what I'm 
going to do to them, just play along.
Pepe: Tee hee.
Jerry: After that incident with the sailor suit I'm not "playing along" with 
anymore of your demented plans.
Defiler Bob: Just trust me, I feel like being a bastard for this one.
Ben: ** looking into the trash bag then back at Defiler Bob ** I'd say you 
already accomplished that. What did you do to these two?
Defiler Bob: It involved a safety pin and a butt load of pain. Any way, will you 
guys play along.                     
Jerry: Okay, but if you come near me, I'll break your face.
** Defiler Bob then snaps his finger and the three dicks responsible for 
"Sasami's Quest" appears in front of them. **
Defiler Bob: You guys okay? I was worried that we were too rough with you. 
(Jerry gives Bob a very strange look) Sorry about the way we treated you, but 
that's the way things are around here.  Well now that you're here I would like 
to say that it is an honor to meet you guys. I'm a big fan of Sasami's Quest and 
would like to reward you guys for writing such a wonderful fan fic.
Jerry: **leans over and says out the corner of his mouth** What the hell are you 
doing?  
Defiler Bob: **whispers back** Shut up! I know what I'm doing. ** Snaps his 
fingers and a figure appears before Moe, Larry, and Curly. The three freaks 
almost spray their pants and Jerry almost hits Defiler Bob **
Defiler Bob: That's right boys its Sasami and she's all yours.  Have fun.
** Defiler Bob pushes the little girl towards them and drags Jerry back into the 
Theater. ** 
Jerry: WHAT THE FLYING RAT FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!                 
Defiler Bob: **starts laughing really hard** Just watch.
Jerry: I think this lemon shit is getting to you.
 ** Just then Bob and Jerry witnessed Sasami beating Azathoth like a red-headed 
step-child. ** 
Ben: Why is she wearing black fatigues and combat boots?
Defiler Bob: Because the three layers of clothing she normally wears would get 
in the way of what she's about to do to these bastards.
Jerry: If it involves the removal of said fatigues, I'll have to seriously 
injure you.
Defiler Bob: Nothing like that, but you see the frying pan? Let's just say she 
ain't gonna be cookin' with it.
Sasami: Tee hee, I'm going to have loads of fun with you three.
Jerry: You know, I don't remember Sasami talking like that.       
Defiler Bob: On my way to earth I stopped by Tenchi's Universe, and he made a 
pass at me. Granted, I was flattered, maybe even a little curious, but I was 
there on business. I also had a nice long talk with Sasami.  I was surprised she 
agreed to meet these freaks.
Jerry: Great, still doesn't explain the senseless violence part.
Defiler Bob: Look around, ** Jerry looks around ** notice anything different.
Jerry: Yeah where's Pep... Is he still lying on the floor of the theater? 
Somebody get a crow bar...
Defiler Bob: No, I revived him.  He is in Sasami, but this is not a typical 
possession. Sasami's conscience has not been repressed she's just using Pepe's 
demonic strength, Not to mention his temperament.  
Jerry: All righty. Well, I suppose we should go back inside.
Defiler Bob: What's your hurry? We have eternity on our side.
**Sasami tosses Jeepeagle across the courtyard and wipes out Ben.**
Ben: It's not safe out here anymore!!!! I've got pervert slime all over me!!!
Defiler Bob: I don't think that's slime.
Ben: Get it off, get it off, GET IT OFF!!!!
**Jerry hoses off Ben, then they all hurry back into the theater.**
 
<but now she was able to really feel the heat and the moisture.>

Jerry: That was really awkward. Coming back inside in the middle of a sentence.

<The little girl was not able to look away from the purple patch,> 

Defiler Bob: You know the really scary thing about that last line, it reminds me 
of a children's cartoon or something. 
Ben: **begins singing** The Purple Patch, the Purple Patch, everyone loves 
playing at the Purple Patch.
Jerry: I don't know which one of you to hit...

<and continued rubbing and rubbing. Aieka was really enjoying all this. She keep 
moaning and shivering with pleasure.>
 
Defiler Bob: This scene gives me the shivers, but for different reasons.

<"That's good Sasami. Now let me show you what else I want you to do.">

<Aieka gently removed her sister's hand and put her's between her legs. She 
rubbed herself 2 or 3 times and then put a finger inside of herself. A shock 
passed trough her body at the contact.> 

Jerry: Where the hell is all this electricity coming from?
Defiler Bob: Ok kids, what can we learn from this? Don't masturbate with a joy-
buzzer in your hand. **leaps off couch** And you thought Jerry was the only one 
that could make bad jokes! **sits his lily white ass back down**

<She then thrust another finger in and started pushing them in and out again and 
again.>

Defiler Bob: This is just getting worse and worse.

<"You understand Sasami ? I want you to do this. Do it softly but quickly. Never 
completely remove your fingers okay?">

Defiler Bob: And that's how you perform a pelvic exam.

<Sasami was amazed by the situation.> 

Jerry: How fucked up was her sister?
Defiler Bob: You have no idea my friend.

<She would have never thought of putting anything inside that. But then she 
decided to comply. She put one finger at the entrance of her sister's sex> 

Jerry: Be back in a second... **jogs outside, then comes back in a few moments 
later, wiping blood off a lead pipe and sporting a black eye** The little bitch 
hit me!
** Defiler Bob laughs **  

<and then started pushing it in. It was now very wet and she could feel the 
muscles of Aieka's vagina contracting from the touch of her finger.> 

Jerry: See, even her vaginal muscles know how wrong this is and are trying to 
get away.

<She keep pushing until all of her finger was inside. Her sister was arching her 
back with pleasure.>

<"Like this," Sasami asked questioningly.>

<"Oh yes Sasami, that's... that's just perfect. Keep it going, faster," Aieka 
encouraged.>

Defiler Bob: I think I'm going to be sick. Urp!

<Sasami was moving her finger in and out of her sister, accelerating more and 
more with the ever increasing speed of her sister's breathing.>

<"Put another finger in too please," Aieka said between pants.>

Jerry: Why was she between a pair of pants? **jumps off couch and points at 
Bob** Top that bitch! **sits his perfectly toned ass down**
Defiler Bob: Just wait my friend...
Satan's Couch: Will you guys stop jumping up and down please.

<Now there were two fingers inside of Aieka. Sasami could now feel more and more 
heat coming from between her own legs but kept fingering her sister. More and 
more juice> 

Jerry: **quietly stands up** I'll be back in a moment. **Slowly stalks outside. 
Suddenly Jerry's voice echoes into the theater** OK MAGGOT! YOU THOUGHT I WAS 
PISSED ABOUT THE SEX THING! NOW YOU GO AND SLANDER MY NAME!!!! **a long, 
gurgling scream slowly dies into the sudden silence. Jerry walks back in wearing 
a new shirt** It got a little messy. Oh, you might want to put the kid back 
together for Sasami.
Defiler Bob: **after giving Jerry the "what-the-hell?" stare** God damn it, how 
many times do I have to regenerate that bastard!

<was dropping on the bed. Aieka was on the verge of the greatest orgasm she ever 
had.>

Defiler Bob: The truly sad part about that was her little sister was the one 
giving it to her. ** Shivers with disgust. **  

<"Stop Sasami," she gasped.>

Ben: Yes, please!!!

<The little girl took her fingers out of her sister and looked at her happily.>

<"Why do you want me to stop sis," Sasami asked.>

Jerry: Maybe because it's disgustingly vile?

<"I want you to do one last thing. You may find it strange, or even disgusting 
but you must do it to learn ok?">

Jerry: Like the rest of this stuff hasn't been strange AND disgusting?
Defiler Bob: This isn't a good sign.

<"Huh, ok. What is it ?">

<Aieka put her hand on her sex and opened the lips, showing a very swollen
clit.>

Ben: Hello there!  **waves**

<"You see this ? This is what is makes a girl feel good. I want you to lick 
it.">

Defiler Bob: **gets up and walks outside. Then walks back inside a second 
later** I was going to do something unsavory to him, but what Sasami had just 
done to him... **looks down, takes a deep breath and tries to collect himself** 
...it defies all logic. **suddenly stops, points outside and screams** She is 
the new Defiler! I am humbled to have witnessed such an act. Frankly I never 
thought to do that with a frying pan. I am no longer worthy of the title 
Defiler.
Jerry: Shut up and sit your overly dramatic ass down.
Bob: You don't believe me? Take a gander outside my little friend.
Jerry: **eyes Bob warily, then peeks outside** HOLY POPCICLES OF THE SNAGGLE 
TOOTHED FART WARBLER!!! 
Bob: First off, told you so. Second, where the hell did that come from?

<"What ? Lick it ? With my tongue you mean," Sasami asked incredulously.>

Ben: Well, that's usual what you use to lick something, but there's nothing 
usual about any of this, so who knows.

<"Yes please.">

Ben: NO!!!
Winky: YES!!!
Everyone but Winky: SHUT UP!!!

<"But, but, pee is coming from there. Yuck!">

Bob: So, she's urinating on her sister now.

<"There's no pee now. Please. At least try it.">

Jerry: So your calling your sisterly sex toy a bold-faced liar! Have you no 
shame?!
Bob: Dude, think about what you just said.
Jerry: Your right that was a pretty stupid question.

<"Geez. Ok I will but...">

<Aieka was spreading her legs apart while Sasami was lying in front of her 
vagina. The girl was looking at her sister's sex.> 

Jerry: **gets up, looks towards door, has second thoughts** I'll leave him to 
the newly christened Defiler Sasami for now. 
Bob: **sniffs back a tear** Do the name proud sister!
Jerry: Sorry to bring it up buddy.

<It looked like Mihoshi's but for the color of the hairs.>

Jerry: Yeah, most technically non-existent pubic hair looks the same.

<Aieka was using 2 of her fingers to open her vagina so that Sasami could easily 
see her clit.> 

Jerry: Here at the Multiplex of the Damned, we work to not only insult and 
humiliate, but also to educate. So I would like to this opportunity to point out 
that the vagina is actually the cavernous organ just inside the body. The folds 
of skin Aeka is currently opening **suppress a gag** are actually called the 
labia. There will be a further lesson on this at the end.

<The entire area was now soaking in juice,> 

Jerry: This guy is really pissing me off.
 
<a sight that Sasami was not really enjoying.> 

Ben: Neither am I.
Winky: I am!!
Jerry: ** picks up Ben and throws him at Winky, striking Winky in the head**
Ben: **walks back down to couch** I feel dirty.
Satan's Couch: Don't you dare sit down without cleaning yourself off!
Jerry: Sorry, you were the nearest object to throw. **dunks Ben in a tub of 
bleach**

<Finally, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes,> 

Everyone but Winky: **in slow motion** Nooooooo!!!!

<and started licking.> 

Winky: **cheers** Yeah, go for it!
Bob: **walks to projection room and bludgeons Winky with his shoe, then returns 
to the couch**

<Aieka nearly fainted away at the sensation. There was a first, tentative stroke 
of the tongue.> 

Ben: I wish I could have a stroke right about now. But not the kind shown here.
Bob: Your wish is my command. **snaps his fingers, yet again**
Ben: I was just kid...**his eyes roll back into his head and large vein pops out 
on his forehead**
Jerry: Hey, don't kill my imp!
Bob: He'll be ok....in a few days.

<Then after a second another, and another, coming more and more rapidly. At 
first Sasami found the taste strange, but after a couple of licks>

Jerry: She reached the center of the Tootsie pop!
**Bob slaps Jerry in the back of the head**

<she enjoyed the taste and even wanted more.> 

Everyone, including Winky but for a different reason: Oh my gosh...

<Her tongue was licker faster and faster> 

Jerry: What the...? Her tongue was licker? What the hell does that mean?
Bob: I don't think we want to know.

<While Aieka was having difficulties trying not to scream with pleasure. Needing 
to get more of this juice,>

Jerry: **sighs resignedly** Son of a...
Bob: I feel your pain...**tries to hug Jerry**
Jerry: **recoils in disgust** Do not touch me.
Bob: Don't deny your feelings!
Jerry: I don't have feelings to deny you sick little flamer!
Bob: I'm bi not gay! There's a difference.

<Sasami decided to put her whole mouth on her sister's sex> 

Jerry: Man, Sasami is ruining all my fun.
Bob: **proudly** It's Defiler Sasami now my friend.

<and started sucking the whole area. Aieka was feeling electricity moving trough 
her.> 

Jerry: I still don't get the electricity thing. Is there a Van De Graf generator 
in the corner?
Bob: Well, Tenchi's kinky freak of a father designed the house, so you never 
know what secrets you'll find.

<She was shaking and she was biting her pillow to keep herself from screaming.> 

<Then came the last straw.> 

Jerry: This is the last straw? I thought that happened a long time ago.

<Still sucking,> 

Jerry: Much like this lemon.

<Sasami got the idea to put her fingers back inside her sister. Aieka's breath 
stopped> 

Bob: I guess the wrongness of the lemon killed her.
Jerry: Or all the electricity finally reached her heart.

<for a second as she put both her hands on Sasami's head, pushing it into her 
sex> 

Jerry: **sighs again** Strangely, I wish the author was still here. Mostly so I 
could rip him a new orifice every time he used the word sex. 

<with all her strength. Sasami was feeling the quick contractions inside her 
sister. There was so much juice> 

Jerry: This guy has some personal thing against me, doesn't he.

<that she couldn't get it all. She was about to suffocate when the pressure of 
Aieka's hands on her head finally relaxed and she pulled her head away, gasping 
for air. The little girl was very happy.> 

Jerry: She was almost killed by her sister after being forced to perform 
horrible sexual acts upon said sister! What could make her happier!
Bob: I know! Tenchi joining in!
Jerry: Fortunately, I know you were being sarcastic.
Bob: Am I Jerry, am I? 

<She looked at her sister.>

<"Now what sis ? You will give me fun too ? Sis ? Sis," Sasami asked.>

Bob: You call that fun?

<The older princess was on her back, her eyes closed with a smile on her face.>

<"Sis ? Did you fall asleep ? Sis ? Hey wake up!">

Jerry: No she's dead. Remember a few moments ago...her breathing stopped...
Bob: Damn you Van De Graf, you claim another innocent life! Well, a life anyway.

<Sasami was shaking Aieka to wake her up but all her big sister did was say 
Tenchi, oh Tenchi" over and over.>

Jerry: When suddenly Tenchi walks into the room saying "Ok, ok, what do you 
want?" Then sees Sasami sitting between the legs of a half naked Aeka, with 
**cringes** juice dribbling down her chin. He screams, than runs out of the room 
while gouging out his eyes with his bare hands.
Bob: **conjures up the spork** Need any help?

<"Damn sis, that's not fair," the little girl exclaimed angrily.>

<The little girl finally went to her bed and tried to go to sleep. She was so 
angry that she didn't even notice when she put her hand inside her panties.>

** Defiler Sasami walks into the threater dragging a half-died Azathoth. ** I'm 
done with this... ** looks up at the screen then walks back outside still 
dragging Azathoth. ** Hearing about what you did to me was one thing Azathoth, 
but now after seeing that I'm really PISSED!!! ** Azathoth starts crying. **   

<I hope you liked this. I plan to write the 4 others parts in a near future.>

Jerry: We'll be waiting. **laughs maniacally**
**Bob joins crazed laughter**

	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	

Jerry's Final Thought:
	After this idiot's shameful use of the word juice, I have decided to 
retire my faithful juicer and drop it from my name, to discourage any further 
contamination of my name. Now, what have we learned today. That using the word 
sex to refer to the external female genitalia is an extremely bad idea. Using 
the word juice is also bad, but will not be as risky from now on. In the name of 
education and just so don't have to hear it anymore, I will now offer several 
alternatives to "sex". As stated before the visible folds of skin are called the 
labia. There are actually two sets, the labia majora and the labia minora. The 
labia are part of the vulva (no, not the car dumbass). The vulva is the entire 
external female genitalia and consists of the labia minora, labia majora, 
clitoris, and vestibule of the vagina. Just so we're clear. There are also many 
slang terms for this area. For convenience sake I will list them here. Lemon 
writers, feel free to use this as a guide. **clears throa!
t, takes a sip of water** Pussy, nether lips, cunt, beaver, bearded clam, love 
canal, love hole, box, happy trap, infield, vertical smile, tongue holder, honey 
pot, fish sandwich, **takes breath** pink valley, twat, snatch, camel toe, the 
garage, hood, pink bits, peach, houhaw, pleasure crevice, and **takes deep 
breath**  fertile crescent. **chugs more water** And one final note, we here at 
the Multiplex of the Damned do not endorse eye-gouging as a recreational sport.

Ben: **now recovered from his stroke** Hey watch this! **does a double back flip 
and jabs a sharp stick in his eye in mid-air**
**a row of small rodent demons hold up score cards, a ghostly voice echoes from 
an unknown location** 9.8, 9.7, 9.2, 6.3
Ben: Jackass!
Ghostly Voice: **now slightly irate** 9.2. For an average of 2.0.
Ben: What?
Ghostly Voice: Don't interrupt The Voice unless you're prepared for the 
consequences.
Jerry: Anyway...eye-gouging should be avoided. That's it for me. Over to you 
Bob!

Bob's Two Cents:
	I'm truly humbled by Sasami's skill and imagination. I had no idea that 
you could do such horrible things with a frying pan. And with word of "The 
Frying Pan Incident" making its way through Hell I am no longer worthy of the 
title "Defiler".  For seeing what Sasami did to Azathoth showed me that I have a 
lot to learn and also how sick and twisted Jurians really are.  Sasami is the 
new "Defiler" **stands up turns toward Sasami's general vicinity and salutes** 
May your tormenting be vile and your tormented be many. **Sits back down and 
tries to hold back the tears** I'm so proud of her.  As for that whole Tenchi 
being gay thing... well think about it, he lives with six girls, five of which 
would like nothing more then to do very obscene things to him and the blockhead 
hasn't screwed any of them. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT KID!!!  As for me being a 
bisexual everyone in the after life is, from the saints in heaven to the lowest 
demon in hell, we are all "switch hitters". No one reall!
y knows why this is, though many think it is because no one has a physical body, 
there for no real gender.    

**Just then the doors to the theater open revealing a worn out Sasami. She sits 
down on Satan's couch next to Bob and Jerry. **
Defiler Sasami: Why is every demon I see calling me "The Defiler"? 
Bob: Because you earned it. ** Breaks down in tears. **
Defiler Sasami: Cool! Do I get any thing for it?
Jerry: Our eternal respect.
Defiler Sasami: Okay, now how do I get Pepe out of my head?
Bob: ** still crying. ** Brace yourself.
** Bob snaps his finger and Defiler Sasami starts dry heaving, after a few 
attempts she finally hacks up a large fur ball. **     
Defiler Sasami: **Wipes mouth. ** Yuck! 
Pepe: ** Wet and shivering looks at Sasami ** GET ME AWAY FROM HER!! SHE'S 
NUTS!!! ** Looks down at of his furry body ** I FEEL SO DIRTY, MUST GET CLEAN!!! 
. ** Hops away with great haste **
Bob: So you finished with those freaks?
Defiler Sasami: Yeah, that and I got to get back and make dinner.
Jerry: What? This isn't the dark ages! Fight the power! Don't succumb to 
domestic repression!
Defiler Sasami: Hey, your right. **clenches frying pan harder** Can I borrow 
Pepe again?
Pepe: HELL NO!!!
Defiler Sasami: I'm just kidding. **chuckles to self in a sinister fashion** 
Well I have to get back.
Bob: Are you sure?
Defiler Sasami: Yeah, if no one else cooks they'll all starve to death.
Jerry: Household fascists!
Bob: Shut up. Well it's been real.
Jerry: Has it Bob, has it?
Bob: **gives Jerry blank stare, then transports Sasami back to her dimension**
Pepe: ** In a dark corner in the theater, is scrubbing himself with a metal 
bristled brush ** MUST GET CLEAN!!! DIRT NOT COMING OFF!!! ** Scrubs self harder 
** GET OFF DAMN IT!!!    

Send all comments to Tormentors_of_the_damned@yahoo.com. If you do decide to 
email us please tell us your age we would like into know how old our audience 
is. Pepe would like to take this time to say "IT WAS HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE I TELL 
YOU!!! THE THINGS SHE DID WITH A NON-STICK FRYING PAN!! **begins laughing, then 
sobbing, then laughing again, finally runs off screaming**

Bob: That was unexpected.  

THE END (finally!)