Author Notes: This is my first MST, okay? So, don't expect it to be half as great as the others I've read, I really have no experience at this at all. Anyway, Tenchi Muyo! and anything that applies to it is coypright Pioneer LDC and AIC and the characters Qualmi and Rhjamiz are copyright to me, and Lina Inverse is copyright to Software Sculptors, Kadokawa Publishing Co., and Hajime. Our cast: Lina Inverse Master Sorceress, star of Slayers. 19 years of age, origin unknown. Loves to eat and go on treasure hunts. Was bribed to help MST this fic. Rhjamiz "Keppa" Mnementh Weredragon. 19 years old, just enough to get her into this theater. Loves lesbian fics especially, but will MST any lemon fic, has a short temper towards guys ruling lesbians in threesomes. *Author shrugs* Origin is unknown. For the record, she's a lesbian herself. Qualmi 20 year old American male. Real name is unknown. He is like the son of Siskel & Ebert (thank God he isn't), and MSTs fics like there's no tomorrow. Washu Hakubi Mad Scientist Genius, 12 years of age (but we're letting her view this anyway 'cuz we know that's not her real age ^_^). Is very protective of Minagi, Ryoko, and Zero, and herself being used in lemon fics and will MST them all until the end of time. ****** Lina, Keppa, Qualmi, and Washu walk into the theatre, and take their seats in the front row, and Keppa gets out her ticket, examining it. Keppa: No Need For Seduction? Is this a lesbian fic?! (Lina sighs) Qualmi: Yes, Keppa, for crying out loud. Washu: I better not be in it, and if I am, I better not a complete nut! Keppa: I hope you are! I just want something to laugh at! *KA-POW* Keppa: ...ow... Washu: Yeah, well, that's what you get!! Lina: Okay, okay, shh, it's starting! The screen flickers to life, and after a long collection of boring previews of movies that no one will ever go see, the movie begins. >EPISODE 7: NO NEED FOR SEDUCTION Keppa: We figured that. >Tenchi woke up, did a bunch of traditional Japanese morning stuff that I wouldn't know about, and went downstairs for breakfast. Keppa: Heh. I'd hate to think of what he did. Qualmi: Probably some Japanese praying ritual or something. Keppa: OH GET REAL!! The guy's stuck in a sea of beautiful women! All(except Keppa): So? Keppa: You people disgust me. Lina: What?! Keppa(O_O): Nothing, nothing! >"Any minute now, Keppa: You'll spontaneously combust! *TH-WAP* Keppa: Uuugghh... Lina: Stop being a complete idiot! >" he thought. Sometimes, he wished she would just do it at the same time every morning, Keppa: Do what at the same time?! Huh?! Washu: Would you shut up already?! Keppa: Why? Washu: Just. Shut. Up. Keppa: Fine. >so at least he would be ready for it. Qualmi: Yeah, he's caught off-guard and can't cum correctly. Lina & Washu: SICK! (both smack Qualmi as hard as they can) Keppa: *grin* >But no, she seemed to be varying her moment of attack, as if to be sure of catching him off-guard. Qualmi: See? I was right! Washu: Shut up! Qualmi: But-- Lina: FIREBALL! *VREEEEE-KA-BOOM* (funky fireball noise) Qualmi(*_*): *sputtering out nonunderstandable syllables* Lina(brushing her hands together): Hmph. Keppa: Whoa, girl, you gotta learn to control your temper. Lina: YOU WANNA BE NEXT? Keppa: EEK! >Or maybe she just took a diffrent ammount of time to wake up every morning. Whatever her reasons, she did it at a different moment every morning. Keppa: Maybe her schedule is fixed that way so she can catch him "off-guard" more often! (stands up) YEAH! Lina: SIT DOWN BEFORE I FIREBALL YOU! Keppa(sitting down): Sorry. >But she had never missed a day. Keppa: At least she's good at it. Lina: IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT UP ONE MORE TIME-- Keppa(>_<): Okay, okay! I'm sorry!! >Tenchi slowly and carefully made his way down the steps, taking them one at a time. He didn't want to risk falling when she caught him off-guard. Keppa: You know, this is boring. I've run out of comments, and Qualmi seems to be still fried. Lina: Then shut up. >And off-guard he was, every day. The woman always seemed to strike when he least expected it... He was never prepared, even though he knew to expect it every morning. Keppa: That's 'cuz you're an idiot and can't learn ahead of time! Washu: That's it... Keppa(O_O): NO! I'm SORRY! Lina: TOO LATE! FIREBALL! *VRREEEEE-KA-BOOM* (Keppa lands beside Qualmi, torched) >He reached the bottom step and walked past Washuu's lab towards the kitchen. It looked like he was in the clear. Maybe she had slept too soundly this morning...? Qualmi: (taking his seat again) Well, I was wrong about them being in bed. Lina: Y'think? >Yeah... maybe... And then, just when Tenchi least expected it, Keppa:(in her seat) HE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED!! Qualmi: YEAH, MAN! Lina: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION?! Keppa:(shrugging) I dunno, just sounds really cool. >He felt the large breasts pressing against his back; felt the strong, feminine arms reach around him from behind and embrace him in the deadliest of all grips; Qualmi: The Mega-Crusher Lock!! Keppa: The Psycho Struggler!! Lina: The Hug of Shabranigdu!! Washu: The Pressure of H over 2 pi, times the amount of gravity divided by the weight of both subjects, plus-- All(except Washu): Huh? Washu: Oh, never mind. >the hug of unrequented love. Keppa: HAH! YOU GUYS WERE WAY OFF! Lina: SO WERE YOU! Keppa: Oh. I knew that. Lina: Suuuure. >And he knew exactly whose arms and breasts were loving him unrequentedly, too... Washu: Yep! My daughter's! >"Good morning, my Lord Tenchi. Did you sleep well?" Qualmi & Washu: WHAT?! AYEKA?! Keppa(turning to Lina): Now this is interesting, doncha think? Lina: Ayeka hugging Tenchi like that? Definitely! >Oooooooo-kay... maybe he had been wrong about that last part... Keppa: Way wrong, sucker! (Lina and Keppa share a laugh) >"Aikea-hime!" Tenchi recovered from his shock enough to pull away gently, only to realize that gently wasn't going to cut it in this case. Keppa: Huh? But it said that he pulled away already! Qualmi: Well it seems that Ayeka pulled him right back! Keppa: Yeah, I get it! (Lina and Washu sigh) >"What are you *doing?*" he wailed. Keppa: She's tryin' to get into your pants, you idiot! Qualmi: Yeah, tell me about it. But isn't that rather abnormal for Ayeka? Keppa: Hmm, guess you got a point. Lina: Well, I say it adds some suspense to the plot. Keppa: Suspense? Lina: Oh, never mind. You know what I mean. Keppa: Personally, I wanna see some lesbian sex. Washu: WELL WE DON'T!! Keppa: Didn't you guys read the script? Lesbians are the subject of this lemon fic. Lina: Oh no... Qualmi: What script? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?! >"Mmmmmmm... Why, I mearly wanted to wish you a good morning, my lord, Qualmi(Ayeka): And to know if I can get into your pants this fine morning! Keppa(Ryoko): Hell no! Qualmi(Ayeka): You shut up, you! Keppa(Ryoko): No, you shut up! Lina: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! >and to express my gratitude for your family's hospitality..." Aieka's tongue flicked briefly across the back of his neck. Keppa: Aww, come on! Where's the lesbian sex?? Washu: Be patient. >"AAAAAGH!! Stop it!!" Tenchi squirmed and pulled and finally broke free from Aieka's grasp. "Honestly, Aikea! What's gotten into you!?" Keppa(Ayeka): Oh, Lord Tenchi, I'm so sorry! Those mean girls won't let me into their...(changes voices to western accent) gangbang orgy!! Qualmi(Tenchi): So you come to me for fucking? Lina: WOULD YOU TWO STOP IT??? Keppa(whispering to Qualmi): We'd better shut up. I sense a Dragon Slave packed up in there. Qualmi: (gulps) >"Oh... forgive me, Lord Tenchi..." Aieka had fallen to her knees when Tenchi pulled away, Keppa: And- Lina(glaring at Keppa): Don't you say it. Keppa: Sorry. >and now she sat there looking down at her hands pitfully. Washu: "pitfully?" How do you look at something pitfully? Keppa: It's a typo, Washu. Washu: I know that! I was being sarcastic! Don't think that the Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe couldn't have seen that typo! Keppa: Ooooo-kay... >"I-I don't know what's come over me this morning... I've never been this forward before... I... I... oh..." Qualmi: Oops. I think she snapped. (Keppa laughs.) Lina: Yeah, snap! (All look at Lina) Keppa: Why, Lina Inverse, I never thought that... Lina: Darkness beyond twilight... Keppa: NO, I'LL SHUT UP! >Aieka swooned and fell backwards, her head hitting the wood- paneled floor with a thump. Keppa: Thump. Qualmi: Thump? Keppa: Thump-bump-bumpity-bump! Qualmi & Keppa(singing): Thump-bump-bumpity-bump! Lina:(through clenched teeth) Crimson beyond blood that flows... Qualmi & Keppa(still singing): Thump-bump-bumpity-bump! Lina:(still through clenched teeth) Buried in the stream of time... Keppa: Okay, Lina!! PLEASE DON'T DO THE DRAGON SLAVE!! Lina: Hmph. >"Aieka!!" Tenchi ran over to Aieka's prone body and gently lifted her head. "Aieka! Are you all right!?" Tenchi checked her pulse and breathing as best he could. Keppa: Thump-bump-bumpity-bump... Lina & Washu: KEPPA!!! Keppa: Just breaking the silence... >"Huh... that's funny... If I remember my health class... according to her breathing, she should still be concious... Keppa: Concious. New typo!! Qualmi: Excuse me, Lina, are you concious? Lina: IS WHERE YOUR POWER GROWS!! Keppa & Qualmi: EEEEEEEP!!! >hmmmm... maybe Jurians have a diffrent..." Aikea suddenly grinned and pulled Tenchi down onto her, forcing her tongue into his mouth and rubbing against him affectionately. Lina: Jurians? Isn't Ayeka from Jurai? Washu: Typo. Lina: Oh. >"MmmmMMphmnnrgmp!!" Tenchi finally managed to pull away and ran out of the house as fast as his legs would carry him. Keppa(covering her mouth): MmmmMMphmnnrgmp!!! Lina: You're pushing it... Keppa: Oh, come on, Lina! Just a little bit of fun! Lina: I'll show you fun! I PLEDGE MYSELF TO CONQUER ALL THE FOES THAT STAND, AGAINST THE MIGHTY GIFT BESTOWED TO MY UNWORTHY HAND! Keppa & Qualmi: AHHHHHHH!! Lina: MAY THE FOOLS WHO STAND BEFORE ME BE DESTROYED BY THE POWER THAT YOU AND I POSSESS---DRAGON SLLLAAAVVEE! (Lina's Dragon Slave totally engulfs Keppa and Qualmi, as well as the other side of the theater, leaving a big gap in the wall) Lina: Oops... Washu: Oh great, way to go, Lina! Lina: Shut up! Keppa(*_*): pppffjthhn... Lina: What??? Keppa: Muffhmrrgfmf! (Lina and Washu look to their rights and find Keppa and Qualmi buried in a pile of chairs, Lina blasts them a way out) Qualmi: Ugghh... Keppa: D-dragon Sla-slave... (Both torched MSTers take their seats) >Aieka panted softly, trying to catch her breath. Her heart was still racing. "Ryoko has a point," Washu: RYOKO ALWAYS HAS A POINT!! Keppa: Down, girl. Washu:(glaring at Keppa) What did you say? Keppa: Nothing, Ms. Washu... *KA-WAP* Washu:(holding a huge mallet now) That's Washu CHAN!! Keppa: Sorry M-er, Washu-chan...ugh... > she said to herself sadly, "that WAS fun..." Lina: Uck, she enjoyed it. Keppa: Apparently, genius. Lina: WHAT WAS THAT? Keppa(>_<): IT WAS A COMPLIMENT! >Tenchi didn't stop running until he reached the woods. "Got to calm down," he told himself, resting against the base of a tree. Qualmi: Boy's got a lot of endurance, huh? Lina: You can say that again. Keppa: Yeah. Washu: I have proof of that! Keppa(-.-;;): Thanks, Washu-chan, but no thanks. >"...got to think about this rationally... Geez, what was I thinking, panicing and running out of the house like that? Keppa: It's Scream all over again. Lina & Washu: Scream? Qualmi: American Horror flick. Lina: Oh. Is it good? Keppa & Qualmi: Ennhh.. >Calm down and think, baka..." Keppa: Yeah, calm down, baaakaaa! Washu: You'd better be glad Ryoko isn't here, she'd kill you. (Ryoko enters) Keppa: ACK! Ryoko: YOU DARE CALL MY TENCHI A BAKA?! *TH-WAP!* *KRKRAZZAKAAA* Keppa(*_*): *sputtering nonunderstandable syllables* Ryoko: That'll teach you! (takes a seat beside Washu) Now, I wanna see the rest of this! Washu: Does it intrigue you, Ryoko-chan? Ryoko(>_<): HELL NO! Qualmi: Let's leave it at that, shall we? >This morning, Aieka had tried to force herself upon him... Ryoko: WHAAAAT?!?!?!?! Washu: Uh oh... Ryoko: #%&@^#$&%!$!!!! Washu: Hmm. Censors are on now. ^_^ Ryoko: Well, get them the $#%@ off !!! Washu(taps a key on her computer): Testing. Fuck. (waits) They're off. Ryoko: Good. >and... well... uh... There was nothing else to think about! The universe had gone topsy-turvy!! Ryoko: Damn straight! >Tenchi started to run again, this time, up the hill towards the shrine. He needed guidence he could trust. In its absence, he would settle for Grandpa's advice. Keppa: I smell an insult to Katsuhito-sama. Qualmi: Me too. Lina: I smell the fact that Tenchi was going to pray... baka. Keppa: Oh. That too. Ryoko: Hurry up, Mom! Washu(grinning): Oh, I love it when you call me "Mom"! (starts typing) Keppa: What is she doing?! Washu: I'm rearranging the fic so that-- Keppa, Qualmi, & Lina: NOOOO! Qualmi: If you do that, you screw up our MST! Washu:(blinks)Oh, that's right... Ryoko: Damn it all! >Unfortunately, Tenchi wasn't looking where he was going, and ran smack into Mihoshi. Keppa(sarcastic): Well, isn't that a coincidence. Lina: Don't tell me Mihoshi is next to hit on Tenchi... Qualmi: It would appear so. >The two of them tumbled to the ground in a heap. "Urw yrr urwuht, Mihrfur?" Tenchi asked from underneath Mihoshi's ample bust. Keppa: "Urw yrr urwuht, Mihrfur" is translated to (stands up) LET'S GET IT ONNNNN, MIHOSHI!! Lina: You are pathetic. Keppa(sitting back down): I know. >Then he realized what he was talking into and went into nosebleed mode. "Oh *my,*" Mihoshi gasped, sitting up so she was stradling Tenchi's chest instead of smothering his face. Keppa: Here it goes... Qualmi: Yeaaahh... >"Your face is bleeding! Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry for running into you like that, Tenchi! I was just out for my morning jog and... uhh... I guess I just didn't see you running up the steps towards me..." Washu & Ryoko: Typical Mihoshi speech. Keppa(giggling): Well, we were proved wrong again... >"You're out for a jog?" Tenchi asked. "Dressed like that?" Keppa: I guess she's clad in a leather dominatrix outfit... Lina: I did not need to hear that... Keppa: Sorry, Lina INVEEERRRSEEE!! Lina: YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH MY LAST NAME?! Keppa:(cowering) No, no, not at all... >Mihoshi was dressed in an extremely skimpy yellow tank top, girls' gym shorts, running shoes, and a headband. A pair of headphones that weren't even turned on were on her head. Keppa: You ever heard that joke about the blonde who died because she took her headphones off? Others: Yeeess... Keppa: I hope that happens. ^_^ >"Umm... yeah..." Mihoshi stamered, leaning forward over him and giving him a great view of her cleavage. Keppa(O_O):(whistles) Lina:(smacks Keppa in the back of the head) Lesbian baka!! Keppa: HEY! >"What's wrong with wearing this to jog? I'm pretty sure this was what those joggers on TV were wearing... Yes, I'm quite sure that they..." Keppa: That they WHAT?? ARGH!! Lina: Calm yourself, I'm sure it will be revealed later. >"Well... maybe if it were summertime. But Mihoshi, it's late autumn! You must be freezing in that getup!" Keppa: You know what freezing does, doncha, guys? Others: Uhh... >Mihoshi loked down at her nipples. Tenchi noticed what she was looking at and groaned. Keppa: That. ^_^ Washu: Loked. (laughs) Lina: (groans) I know how Tenchi feels. Mihoshi's such a ditz. >"Well, gee, I guess I am a little cold," Mihoshi ditzed, "but look, I'm sweating, see?" Mihoshi took Tenchi's hand and pressed it between he breasts where she had been sweating, presumably from jogging all morning. Keppa: "He" breasts? O_O (Lina & Washu double over laughing) Qualmi: Hey, I take that as an insult to guys! (stops) I'm the only guy in this group!!! Keppa: So? >"IIIII!" Tenchi turned pale and tried to wiggle out from under her. Keppa: IIIII!!! Qualmi: IIIII!!! Keppa & Qualmi: IIIII!!! Lina: FIREBALL! *VREEEEEE-KA-BOOM* (Ryoko claps) >"Mihoshi, get off of me!" "Oh, I'm sorry!" Mihoshi got up and helped Tenchi to his feet. "Whew," Tenchi thought as she started jogging away from him down the steps, Qualmi: What? NO GOODBYE??!! YOU DITZ!! Keppa: Down, Qualmi. >"I thought she was starting to freak out on me too, for a minute there..." Keppa: But she is... she's Mihoshi, she probably forgot. Qualmi: She'll remember... >"Oh yeah, Tenchi!" Mihoshi called from behind him. Qualmi: See? Keppa: I guess you were right. >Tenchi turned around to see her standing there smiling up at him. "What now?" he wondered. "Hai?" he asked. Keppa: Would you like to fuck? Qualmi: Yeah!! Keppa: YOU BAKA! I WAS PLAYING MIHOSHI!! >"I almost forgot... would you like to fuck?" Tenchi face-faulted. (Keppa face-faults) Ryoko: Keppa face-faulted. >Tenchi finally reached the shrine and tried to catch his breath. Suddenly, the air seemed to shimmer around him and he felt a weird tingle spread throughout his body. Keppa: Ooohhh (shudders purposely) It's tinnngglees me! Qualmi: (laughing) Damn, Keppa, get a life! Lina: I'll admit, it was funny. >Everything went black. Keppa: Tenchi DIED! YES! NOW FOR KINKY LESBIAN SEX! Qualmi: KEPPA!!! Ryoko: I hope not!! Keppa: Sorry... (pause) Keppa: KINKY LESBIAN SEX! *TH-WAP* Keppa: Ouch... Lina: Shhhh! >"Oh no... not Washuu again," Tenchi groaned. Tenchi opened his eyes. He was on the dimly-lit bridge of an alien spacecraft. Keppa: Ryoko!! Tenchi's been abducted!! Keppa & Ryoko: AHHHHH!! Lina: Bakas. >The only light in the room came from the buttons on the control panels, which bathed the room in eerie colors that shifted constantly. Something about the place seemed vaguely familiar. Keppa: Where is he? Qualmi: I suspect he's in Washu's Lab. Washu: My sensors don't detect him... Keppa: That doesn't mean anything. Washu: YES IT DOES!! Keppa: Fine, fine. You're the genius. Washu: (cackling) Damn straight! >Was he in Washuu's lab...? It seemed much too quiet for that... Suddenly, Keppa: TENCHI SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED! Ryoko: HAH! Lina: FIREBALL! *VREEEEE KAKRARARZZAAKAA* *VRRREEEEEE KKKRRRRAAKAAAZAAA* Keppa: (not visible anymore)Ugh... >a spotlight shone down at the other end of the room, revealing a beautiful light-skinned, brown-haired alien woman Tenchi. Qualmi & Lina: ALIEN WOMAN TENCHI?!?! Washu & Ryoko: AHHHHHH! Keppa: COOL! *TH-WAP x4* Keppa: Oh c'mon... that hurt... >She wore a generously cut space bikini made of what looked to be red leather, and sinister-looking black boots. Tenchi was pretty sure he had never seen the woman before, but it was difficult to tell in the strange lighting. Keppa:(climbing back into her seat from behind it) If we're finished with beating up Keppa now... Lina: If Keppa BEHAVES... (glares at Keppa) Keppa: (sighs) >"Tenchi Misaki..." She purred, stepping gingerly over to her captive as the spotlight followed her. Tenchi swallowed hard, watching her breasts bounce. Qualmi: Was the spotlight following her as she walked or was it already following her? Keppa: Bad grammar? (Qualmi nods) >"...a suitible specimine for my purposes..." Washu: Specimine? Keppa: Speci-MINE! (All start laughing) Lina: You have to admit, these typos are pretty funny. Like the "he" breasts... Qualmi: Hmph. >"Umm... Hey... listen, I know the Galaxy Police... and they keep a pretty close eye on me... so you better take me back to Earth right now..." Keppa(sarcastic): Tenchi seems in control, huh? Qualmi: Yeah, really... Ryoko: Well, whoever that is better let him go!! >The evil-looking brunette threw her head back and laughed, Kodachi-like. Keppa: Kodachi. (shudders) Lina: Arch-rival? Keppa: Bad date. (All blink) >She jiggled while laughing, much to Tenchi's delight/discomfort. Keppa: Make up ya mind, Tenchi!! Ryoko: Please say discomfort.. please, Tenchi-kun... Qualmi:(turning to Washu) Will she be okay? Washu: She's being herself. >"The Galaxy Police don't frighten me," she said, running a fingertip up his thigh. Tenchi groaned as her fingernail teased him through the fabric of his pants leg. Ryoko: NOOO! TEEENNNCHHIII!! Washu: Ryoko, it's just a film. Those are probably stunt doubles. Ryoko: I hope my stunt double looks as good as me... Qualmi: I hope so too. So far I haven't seen one decent lemon part. Lina: Is that the reason you two came? (looks at Qualmi and Keppa) Keppa: Yeah... unlike a certain person who's name I won't mention (cough)Lina Inverse(cough) who was bribed to MST this fic. Lina: You're really asking for it... Keppa: I've already gotten it, tenfold. >"What do you WANT?" he wailed. Keppa: What do you think she wants? Good god! Qualmi: Maybe she wants his SOUL!! (evil laugh) *TH-WAP* Keppa: Get real, Qualmi. >In response, the stranger simply lowered her face to his and kissed him, jiggling those breasts against him as she did so... Tenchi gasped for air and fell backwards when she finally let him go. "You will remove those earth pants," she said evilly, lifting a whip from her belt. Keppa(8D): Dominaaatriixx... (drools purposely) Lina: Get a life, girl!! Wait for the real action! Keppa:(looks at Lina) Lina, what did you just say? Lina: Nothing. Keppa: C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, what? Lina: NOTHING! Keppa: Okay, fine. (long silence) Keppa: What'd ya say? Lina: Grrr... FIREBALL! (Keppa dodges, while the pile of chairs from earlier is destroyed) Keppa: OKAY, SORRY! >"If you serve me well then maybe I'll let you go..." "Now, wait a minute..." Tenchi stammered, "Can't we talk about this...?" Keppa(woman): Hmm lemme-think-about-it-a-while-no. Qualmi(Tenchi): Aww c'mon please... Keppa(woman): I said no. Now get to your room. No dinner for you! Qualmi(Tenchi): Awww... no sex either? Keppa(woman): Well... Lina: STOP IT, YOU TWO! >*CRACK!* The whip cracked the cold metal floor just inches away from his crotch. (Qualmi winces) >Tenchi scampered backwards like a frightened mouse as the mysterious space woman threw her head back and laughed and laughed and laughed. Her brown wig fell off. Tenchi squinted at her. Underneath the wig, her hair was a deep shade of teal. "Kiyone?" Tenchi asked. All: KIYONE?!?!?!?! Keppa: Ugh, I'm gonna be sick... of all the un-cute people... Lina: For once, I agree with you... (pauses) on the sick part... Washu: Interesting... Ryoko: Interesting?! She's hitting on MY Tenchi! Bitch! >"Uhhhh..." Kiyone's eyes opened wide as she realized the wig had come off... "I am not the one you refer to as Kiyone... uhhh... I have merely taken the form of... someone you have deep feelings for!" Keppa: Uh huh. Right. >Tenchi's eyes narrowed skeptically. "Uh-huh... right." Keppa: Dude! I'm psychic! Lina: Hardly! Keppa: Oh, that's right! Downgrade the weredragon! Lina(O_O): Weredragon?! You're a weredragon?! Keppa: Uh, yeah. Lina(>_<): YOU MEAN ALL THIS TIME YOU COULD'VE JUST TRANSFORMED AND SWALLOWED ME WHOLE?! Keppa: Actually, no, Washu's got me under form-lock. Lina: Come again? Keppa: I can't transform. Lina: (pauses, then starts laughing) Keppa(>_<): SHUT UP! >he looked around the dimly lit control room again. Now he recognized the layout as the cockpit of the Yagami. "I've had enough of this. Can we go home now, Kiyone?" "HEY!! Come back here!! I told you, I'm NOT the real Kiyone!!" Suddenly, a screen lit up showing Mihoshi's smiling face. Keppa: Her smiling, ditzy face. I wonder if she took those headphones off... Qualmi: Is it just me, or is this getting longer and longer and... Lina: Shut up. Qualmi: BUT WE AREN'T EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE FIC!!! Lina: Oh well. More eye candy. Keppa: Eye Candy? Lina: Fanfic material. Keppa: Oh... >"Hey, Kiyone? Tenchi turned me down... are you busy or would you like to... Oooooooh! I just *love* your new outfit, Kiyone! Only it kinda clashes with your hair... maybe you should also wear that wig you bought this morning...? Now THAT would be sexy, Kiyone..." Mihoshi trailed off, rubbing at her blouse. Keppa: Mihoshi and Kiyone... (throws up) Qualmi: GOOD GOD KEPPA! Lina: Janitor! > "UUUURGH!! You IDIOT!! Why do you always have to ruin everything with your BIG MOUTH!? Uh oh..." Kiyone looked over at the frowning Tenchi, and quickly hit some buttons on the control panel. Keppa: And now Tenchi dies. Ryoko: You'd better hope not, dragon-bitch! Keppa:(cowers) Tenchi lives, Tenchi lives... >Tenchi opened his eyes to find himself back on Earth, right in front of his house. He dusted himself off and breathed a sigh of relief. Thank Kami-sama that was over with! Tenchi was about to open the door when a very scary thought ocured to him... Each of the girls had been behaving... strangely... today. What would Ryoko, who was normally all over him anyway, be like when SHE ran into him...? (All look at Ryoko) Ryoko: WHAAT?! All: Well? Keppa: What would you do? Ryoko: Well I, uh... Qualmi: Thought so. >Tenchi shivered at the thought... but what could he do? Stay outside the house all day? Tenchi gulped nervously, and opened the door to the house. He closed it silently, and tiptoed into the kitchen... Qualmi: And OUT POPS RYOKO!! >"Good morning Tenchi!" Sasami practically yelled, "breakfast is almost ready!" "Miyaaaaa!" Cheered Ryo-ohki, hopping into the air. Keppa: Sasami abuse? Qualmi: Nah. That's sick. Keppa: So? It still attracts sick readers. Qualmi: Well, yeah. But abusing a 10-year-old? Keppa: Yeah, well, don't look at me. (All look at Keppa) Keppa(>_<): I SAID DON'T LOOK AT ME! >"SHHHHHHH!!" Tenchi whispered, "Have you two seen Ryoko around here anywhere...?" "No... I haven't seen her all morning, actually..." Sasami brightened. "She must be asleep still. Would you do me a favor and go get her, Tenchi?" Tenchi sighed. "Why me?" he thought to himself. Keppa: Because Ryoko is next to hit on you! Finally, some action! Ryoko: I don't know whether to thank you or beat the crap outta you! Keppa(^_^;;): Thanking seems good. >"Ryoko?" Tenchi whispered, peeking into each room in the upstairs hall. Where DID Ryoko sleep, anyway? He checked Aieka's room, his father's room, the bathroom... hmmm... no way he could check the girl's side... he checked his own room after a moment of aprehension about what he might see if she *was* in there, lying in wait for him. But nothing happened. Finally, Tenchi walked back downstairs, only to find her sitting in the windowbox, looking out at the lake. Keppa: Hmm.. >"Ah... Ryoko... there you are..." Tenchi waited for her to pounce on him, but nothing happened. She just kept looking out at the crystal blue surface. Tenchi noticed something else strange... she was wearing the striped dress-- the one that showed absoloutely no cleavage. Normally she only wore that one when it was *really* cold outside. Was she sick or something? Tenchi drew closer. "Umm... breakfast is ready..." Tenchi continued... "I'm not hungry," Ryoko sighed, gazing out at the sparkling waters. Tenchi frowned. That was *also* out of character for Ryoko. (All wait...) >"Are you okay?" he asked. No response... "All the other girls have been acting weird today... They've all been... well, rather forward towards me..." Tenchi forced a laugh. "Even Aieka... heck, even Kiyone! I didn't even think she liked me that way..." Ryoko continued to gaze out at the water's edge. "You soud pretty calm about it," she said with a slight shudder... Keppa: I can see it in her eyes... she's waiting... to hit on Tenchi! Others: SHHHHHH! Washu: Typo! "soud"! >"Well, I think I'm still in shock..." Tenchi paused. "Do you know anything about it...? If something's affected the girls, well... it seems to have had the oposite effect on you..." Tenchi paused again. He should just keep his big mouth shut... but something about the way she seemed so distant worried him. It was so... unlike Ryoko. "Heh... I mean, usually, you're all over me first thing in the morning and today, well..." Tenchi feigned a laugh. "Today they beat you to it. Heh heh..." Ryoko moaned breathily. >Tenchi blinked. "They've all been in here..." Ryoko sighed, leaning her head back. Her gaze still sought solice in the ripples on the lake. Tenchi blinked again. "Who has? You mean Aieka and the others?" Ryoko nodded. "Well, of *course* they've been in here... they live in this house as much as you do..." "No, no, no, my dear Tenchi...." Ryoko's grin lit up for the first time this morning. >"I mean they've all been in *here!*" Ryoko lifted her skirt and turned her body towards Tenchi, exposing her dripping love hole. Keppa(O_O): HOLY FUCK! Ryoko: AHHHHHH! Washu: Interesting... Qualmi: Whoa... Lina: Awww man, that image is burned in my mind forever... >She gazed into Tenchi's eyes and continued to slide her fingers into herself, murmuring "Aieka's been here... Mihoshi's been here... Washuu's been here... Kiyone's been here..." Ryoko giggled. "Ryoko's been here," she said happily, bringing her hand up to her mouth and licking her fingers clean. Keppa: (whines) Rhjamiz wanted to be there toooo... Lina: Rhjamiz? Who? Keppa(who will be mentioned now as Rhjamiz): That's my name. Rhjamiz. Lina: Keppa's your-? Rhjamiz: Middle name. Lina: Oh. >"We spent the whole night together last night fucking each other! Rhjamiz: Why was I not invited? Ryoko: I, uh... uh... eergh... Washu: (snaps her fingers in Ryoko's face) Ryoko? Ryoooko- chaaan... Rhjamiz: I think she died. >And now I want *you* to be in here, too, Tenchi..." Ryoko spread her neather lips apart with her fingers. "I'm all yours, Tenchi Misaki..." Ryoko wriggled her hips until droplets of her cum spattered to the floor. "Fuck me," she moaned. Ryoko arched her back and climaxed. Rhjamiz: Erk! (looks down) Uhhh... I'll... be right back. (Rhjamiz scrambles out of her seat and through the theater doors) Qualmi: She'd better get back soon, she'll miss the real action! Lina: (shuddering) I... I... Ryoko: eerrrggh.... Washu: Hmm.. she seems to be in shock... Qualmi: Well, I would be too if I were her! She just cummed all over the floor! Washu: Shut up, Qualmi! >Tenchi just stood there, his eyes wide but his pupils small. "Tenchi?" Ryoko asked. No response. Ryoko dissapeared and re-appeared naked next to Tenchi. "Tenchi, my love!" she gasped, touching the buldge through his pants, "Does this mean you're finally not going to run away!?" No response. Ryoko checked his pulse and breathing. "He's unconscious!" She gasped. (Rhjamiz comes back, taking her seat) Rhjamiz: What'd I miss? Qualmi: Not much. Rhjamiz: So nothing good happened? Qualmi: Nope. Rhjamiz: Good. (turning to Washu) Will Ryoko be okay? Ryoko: erreggghhggg.. Washu: I don't know... >Suddenly the closet door flew open, revealing a short, kawaii mad scientist that looked like she'd been halfway through dressing when she'd decided to drop in on Ryoko. "Just what in the hell are you girls trying to DO!?" she asked angrily. Rhjamiz(hunchback): Trying to fuck Tenchi, Master!! (Qualmi laughs.) Washu: HEY! >"...Tenchi... wake up already... I know it's sunday but you shouldn't sleep this late..." Tenchi rolled over under his covers. "*groan* Sasami...? What time is it?" "It's almost noon," Sasami said through the door, "You missed breakfast already! Now don't miss lunch, sleepyhead..." Rhjamiz: DON'T TELL ME I MASTURBATED TO ONE OF HIS FUCKED UP DREAMS!!! (All look at Rhjamiz, wide-eyed... well, except Ryoko) Rhjamiz:(turning a bright shade of red) Eh heh... >Tenchi sat up and rubbed his head. His mind was filled with thoughts of going to bed last night... there were also thoughts of the girls all going nuts and seducing him, but those were fuzzy and a bit unrealistic. How, for example, had Sasami gotten Nagi to be so gentle? Had it all been a wierd and twisted dream? Rhjamiz:(grumbling) I hope not! >"I'll go make your lunch, Tenchi!" Sasami yelled through the door, "you just get up!" "Okay..." Tenchi called back. Sasami looked down at Washuu. "How was that?" she asked. "It was perfect!" Washuu said. "Thanks for your help! Now I have to go have a chat with the other girls about how to conduct themselves around Tenchi..." Rhjamiz: Conduct well, bay-bee! Qualmi: Ugh. Ryoko: eeergghheehh... huh? Washu: Ryoko? Ryoko: What happened? Did I fuck Tenchi?! Rhjamiz: Hardly! Ya made him faint! Washu: How do you know? Lina: Qualmi told her. >Sasami thought for a moment as they walked downstairs to the kitchen. "Just what DID they do that we have to trick Tenchi into thinking it was a dream?" Washuu shook her head. "Oh, not much... They just made a lot of dumb moves without thinking about what they were doing... It's nothing... but everyone involved would be better off if Tenchi forgot about it, and that includes Tenchi himself. Understand?" >Sasami nodded hesitantly... "I guess so," she murmered. Suddenly, Sasami's eyes lit up. "Does it have to do with..." Washuu nodded. Sasami gasped. "It wouldn't be such a big deal if it was just Ryoko again... was it Aieka!?" Washuu sighed and handed her a disk. "When you're a little older," Rhjamiz: You can join us. ^_^ Ryoko: Join who? Rhjamiz: Us. Ryoko: Who's us?! Rhjamiz: You, Washu, Ayeka, Kiyone, Mihoshi, and me! ^_^ Ryoko & Washu: I THINK NOT! (Rhjamiz gulps) >she said, "This recording of this morning's events will answer all your questions." She smiled as Sasami held it reverently. "Until then, it will remain encrypted and totally un-playable! My own design!" Sasami looked down skeptically at the disk in her hands. "I thought you said I wasn't too young to know about sex," she said. "Well, I did say that," Washuu said, "but you wouldn't appreciate it nearly as much at your current stage of development. Trust me on this one, Sasami." Rhjamiz: Oh yes, trust us, Sasami, please!!! Qualmi: Oh yes, we don't need a Sasami lemon! >Sasami smiled. "Okay." Sasami put the disk in her back pocket. Wow. Someday... she would get to see what happened when Aieka finally made a move... "You'll laugh your head off," Washuu added under her breath. Rhjamiz: Hey, we're getting to the end! Qualmi: I hope not! I wanna see some action! >Aieka sighed with relief, each arm wrapped around a nude Galaxy Police officer. She kissed them each on the forehead. Mihoshi was already snoring lightly, while Kiyone licked Aieka's nipple in respose to the kiss. "That was wonderful," Aikea sighed. "I thought you'd like it..." Kiyone gined impishly. Rhjamiz: Respose? Washu: Gined? (Rhjamiz and Washu exchange looks and start laughing) >"Mihoshi and I practiced that all morning in order to get the timing right..." Kiyone kissed the princess heavily, and so deeply that when they finally parted, a thin trail of saliva connected their tongues... "Oh... god... I'm ready again..." Aieka sighed as Kiyone dozed off. "Ryoko-chan? Are you busy?" "Mmmphm... Mmmmm..." Ryoko continued to slurp away at Washuu's cunny, oblivious to all else as she tried to return to the womb tongue-first. Rhjamiz: Sick use of words. Washu: HEY! THAT'S ME SHE'S LICKING! AHHHHH! Ryoko: AHHHHHH! Lina:(blinking) What ha-(looks at screen) AHHHHH! Qualmi & Rhjamiz: Ugh... >"Hmmmm... I rather like it when you have your mouth full..." Aieka squirmed free of the two dozing policewomen and crawled over to her arch-rival. Within seconds, her tongue and fingers were working Ryoko's pussy deep and fast. "Oh GOD," Ryoko moaned between gasps... "This is soooooo good..." Ryoko came as she realized Washuu was turning herself around on her face so she could play with Aieka. Aieka lifted herself up, spread her legs, and began sliding her slit along Ryoko's. Rhjamiz: I'm so glad I came earlier... I might have died watching this. Qualmi: What do you mean you came earlier? You came the same time we di--oh, wait, never mind. (Rhjamiz rolls her eyes) >Ryoko could do nothing but purr into her mother's ass as princess and scientist began frenching and groping each other's breasts... "This is so good," Aieka sighed once they'd finally stopped to rest. "Washuu... when is this extra lust from the H-ray supposed to wear off?" Washuu grinned evilly. "Four days," she said. Aieka sighed. "Four days left of this heaven," she said sadly. "Then I go back to being an uptight bitch..." She pouted. "Hey... what are you saying?" Ryoko asked with a grin. "Do you want Washuu to zap you again? Maybe turn you into a pervert for good?" Aieka shuddered. "No, of course not! That would be..." Rhjamiz: Perfect. Qualmi: Okay. Lina: Wrong. Washu: Really wrong. Ryoko: How could I say that?! >Aieka paused to search for the right word... "...weird..." she said hesitantly. Rhjamiz: Weird?! Washu: YES! >"Actually," Washuu said softly, "That's not what I meant. I mean it takes four days from the INITIAL EXPOSURE for the effects of H-ray treatement to wear off." Aieka froze. "Washuu..." Ryoko rubbed her forehead, trying to get the room to stop spining. "Are you saying that we've been cured already for the past three DAYS!?" Washuu laughed maniacally. "Yep! All that time, you've been acting on fond memories and your own hormones!" Aieka's head hit the ground with a soft thump. Rhjamiz: THUMP! Qualmi: THUMP! Lina: Thump-bump-bumpity-bump! All three: Thump-bump-bumpity-bump! Thump-bump-bumpity-bump! Ryoko: STOP! >"Geez... well, she's taking it better than I expected... What do you think we should do to her while she's unconscious, Ryoko...?" *SMACK!!* "OW!!" Washuu stood up, a bright red palm-print glowing on her cheek. "Is that the thanks I get after all I've done for you girls!?" But Ryoko didn't answer... she was already over at the bed, whispering into Kiyone's ear... "NANI!?" Kiyone sat upright, eyes glowing green... then she spotted Washuu. "YOU!!!" Her eyes turned red. Rhjamiz(Vader): I have you now... Washu... Washu: Huh? Rhjamiz: Oh lord. >"Uh-oh..." Washuu said, calling up her holo-top... Too late. Kiyone reached through the screen and started banging Washuu's head against the wall. "Gaaaaghhh!! Emergency Voice Control... Restrain... hostile... forces..." metal tenticals snaked out and grabbed Kiyone, pulling her away from her intended victim. Washuu tapped a button, and another group of tenticals restrained Ryoko. "Now then..." Washuu stood up and brushed herself off. "For that little outburst, I think you both deserve to meet my little friend the Hermaphropod Scion...." Rhjamiz: And now the Hermaphro-(watches the ending credits come up) WHAT?! Lina:(stands up) Guess that was it, huh? Washu: Hermaphropod Scion, huh? Hmm...(she and Ryoko teleport away) Qualmi: I'm afraid of what those two are planning. (The three now look up at the screen) THE END? Rhjamiz: Oh God, I hope not! Lina: Well, if not, don't expect me to be here next time! Qualmi: Count me in! Rhjamiz:(wraps an arm around Qualmi's shoulder) Let's go! (The two walk out, Lina follows behind shortly after) (At a cafe somewhere in town) Rhjamiz: So, was that fic okay, or what? Lina:(taking a drink of her cappuccino) I guess so. I'm not into those kinda things. Rhjamiz: Well, we are a team, y'know? Qualmi: Yeah, you could say that. Rhjamiz: So, (stands up) I'll see you guys next time around? Lina: Sure. (stands up too) I'm off to find Zel, Gourry, Amelia, and Xelloss again... then it's off to fight Gaav, the Demon Dragon King! Qualmi: As for me, I'm headed back home (stands up) I've got some stuff to do. Rhjamiz: Well, Lina, Qualmi, good luck. (walks out) Lina: See ya 'round the next MST, Qualmi. (walks out) Qualmi: (goes to the nearest phone and dials a number) Yeah, hello, Mom? I kinda need a ride home...