Disclaimer: I own none of the following characters, with the exception of myself (Benjamin). Nor do I own any of the characters in the fic that I have MSTed, nor do I own any of the people who I use to make various jokes. So don't sue me or anything like that. I'm a destitute diabetic who lives in Alabama.I have nothing. Foreword: I'd like to thank Eagle for allowing me to MST his fic. I'd also like to thank Peter Suzuki for giving me some much needed advice prior to doing this MST. Yes, this is my first MST, so please don't be too hard on me. I would, however, appreciate any praise or criticism that you, the reader, are willing to give. Please feel free to e-mail me your thoughts or comments at Prototype Spam@aol.com. With that said, on with the show! ------------------------------------------------------------------ ----- Behind the Earth's moon lies a small, unregarded, and unnoticed space station. Its creator lovingly named this research station The Iron Maiden. And the research? Three individuals have been chosen to read various works by various people, known only as "fanfiction." These poor people, for an indefinite amount of time, must observe these "fanfictions" while their thoughts are recorded back to Earth on a base in underground New York. This.is their story. The following fanfic will be MSTed by: BENJAMIN LYNX (From the universe we call "real life." He lives a dismal life in the dismal state of Alabama.) DUO MAXWELL (From the universe known as "Gundam Wing." He pilots the gundam Deathscythe and knows how to kick ass. His sarcastic attitude has helped him out of many a jam.) VINCENT VALENTINE (From the universe known as "Final Fantasy VII. He carries a gun with him everywhere he goes and fears nothing. His dark nature strikes fear into the hearts of many.but that won't help him here.) The research on the above three and the sending of fanfiction will be operated by: CARNAGE (From the universe known as "Marvel." His real name is Cletus Cassady, who was and still is possessed by a symbiotic creature spawned from one known as Venom. He has reformed since his happy-go-lucky times of serial killing, and now has fun tormenting the above three) It is just another day aboard The Iron Maiden. Ben thumbs through some video game magazines. Duo sits reclining in a chair. Vincent stares into the emptiness that is outer space. Duo is the first to break the silence. "Urrgh! Isn't there anything to do on this damn ship?!" says the gundam pilot, sitting up. "Not really," replies Ben. "I just now realized that Carnage sent us thirty five issues of the same PSM magazine." "Not a very friendly host." says Vincent, turning around and looking at his two younger companions. "I heard that!" rasps a voice from the computer terminal. Carnage's friendly face pops up on the viewscreen, gritting his teeth in anger. "I have your first 'test' prepared for you." says Carnage, his voice growing higher in pitch as he spoke. "Oh.great," says Duo, standing up and getting ready to get it over with. "Don't worry.much," says Carnage, his enormous white eyes growing with excitement. "I've chosen a relatively tame fic for your first assignment. No vomit bags will be necessary.hehe. Now.are you all prepared?" "Yes, Carnage," say the three. "You've done your.you know.so you won't have to.you know.right?" says Carnage somewhat awkwardly. "Yes, Carnage," the three say again. "Good, and remember.I'll be watching you!" Carnage adds an almost musical tone before completing his sentence and the view screen goes blank. "I hope he isn't always like this." says Vincent with a touch of anger. "Somehow I don't think we'll be so lucky," says Ben. Suddenly, the sirens began to blare and shriek. "Uh oh.we got fanfic sign guys!" The three quickly rush into the theater. ------------------------------------------------------------------ ----- Our heroes find three seats near the front. Vincent sits on the left, Ben in the middle, and Duo on the right. BEN: Let's just be thankful we don't have to do any lemons. VINCENT AND DUO: Lemons? BEN: (Burying his head in his hands) Ask me again later. DUO: Shhh, it's starting. >Tenchi and all the characters from Tenchi >Muyo! are property of AIC and Pioneer. VINCENT: Let us keep it that way. >Only the >characters I create are the ones I own. Any >similarity to any other stories, I'm sorry it's >simply coincidental. Don't sue me, you wouldn't >get anything, because I don't have anything. I >spend all >my money on buying your videos anyway. So HA! BEN: So we'll just take all of those. So HA! >I made some changes so Sasami has a force field >like Ayeka's. DUO: Should you really give something like that to a little girl? BEN: Well, Sasami is more mature than most of the other characters. >Also all the Tenchi series are >mixed together. So there are bits and pieces from >each of the series. BEN: Oh great, that won't be confusing! >This is a story mostly about >Ryoko, Tenchi, and my character Yosuke. So enjoy >(^_^) ALL: We won't. >No Need for Tenchi (anymore) VINCENT: Then let us kill him. >By Fuu >She sat on the roof looking out at the purple >and pink mixed sunset. DUO: (Girl as hippie) The colors, man, the colors! >"Why..why...why does >he hate me so much?" VINCENT: Because you destroy his property, ruin his social life, and make him afraid to start a relationship out of fear of being utterly annihilated. BEN AND DUO: . >It was barely audible but you could >here VINCENT: As well as hear. >her sobbing as her cyan hair >ruffled with the cool wind. BEN: Gee, I wonder who it could be? DUO: Washu? Nobuyuki? BEN: Shut up. >A single tear floated >down her cheek and splashed the roof. DUO: Wow, her tears must be huge. >Earlier that day.. VINCENT: .There was an incomplete ellipsis. >BBOOOOOOOMMMMM! The floor rattled as a loud >noise came from upstairs. BEN: Another typical morning at the Masaki household. >Sasami and Ryo- >Ohki looked up to the ceiling from the >kitchen. DUO: (Sasami) Damn it, Ryo-Ohki, there are 458 tiles up there! >" There they go again, I wonder >what it's about this time." VINCENT: Tenchi, perhaps? >"Miya" said Ryo- >Ohki in agreement. BEN: Ryo-Ohki hurriedly left Agreement and returned home. >They both looked up at >the ceiling and simultaneously shook their >heads and sighed. >Washu stepped outside of her lab just in >time to see Ryoko dematerialize to her left >in front of the staircase. There was a loud >crackling and hissing sound before >everything went pitch black. DUO: Washu's really gotta lay off that drinking. >She collapsed >on the floor in a heap while grey smoke rose >from the left side of her body. On top of >the staircase Ayeka screamed in panic >"WASHU!". BEN: The sad life of a misplaced period. >Washu barely heard Ayeka scream in >her unconsciousness VINCENT: She can hear Ayeka even while out cold? BEN: Use the good old "smile and nod" technique. >then felt pain rack the >left side of her body again. DUO: (Washu) Cut it out, Pain! >Just after Ayeka zapped Washu, Tenchi >walked in the door to see an unconscious >Washu and Ayeka screaming at Ryoko BEN: (Tenchi) Home, sweet, home. >" Look >what you did you filthy pirate, you killed >Washu!" DUO: (Kyle) You bastard! >Ryoko gave Ayeka a puzzled look VINCENT: Ayeka forever cherished the puzzled look. >for >her comment and then used her telepathic >link with Washu. <" Mom..Mom are you O.K.?> >There was no reply and she started to shake >uncontolably, VINCENT: As well as uncontrollably. >even though she had seen worse >it had never happened to anyone that was so >close to her in anyway. DUO: Where exactly is Anyway? BEN: (Takes out Atlas) Hmm.it appears to be in the country of Whatever, bordering the cities of Besides and Nonetheless. >Tenchi ran over to >Washu and checked for a pulse "She's alive >but if we don't treat her wounds immediately >she'll probably die!" BEN: Shessh, Tenchi sounds like he's from Speed Racer or something. >Tenchi looked up at >Ayeka who had horror written all over her >face. DUO: (Tenchi) Sasami, quit writing on your sister! >" Take her to the lab VINCENT: And shoot her. >and tend to her, VINCENT: Damn. >I'll be there in a minute." >"Yes Lord Tenchi." BEN: (Ben Stein) Tenchi if you're nasty. >Tenchi looked at Ryoko with the most malice >and hatred she had ever seen on his face. DUO: Which isn't really that much. >"Ryoko I told both of you not to fight but VINCENT: I hit my space bar too many times. >you do it anyway. Now you almost killed >Washu! Don't you think of anybody beside >yourself? BEN: (Ryoko) Well, Washu was beside me a minute ago. >Huh? Do you? Tenchi barked. DUO: Good Tenchi, have a biscuit! >Ryoko started (Everyone makes the sound of a racecar engine) >" But..it...wasn't .." she >flinched as Tenchi cut her off. VINCENT: Tenchi couldn't take it anymore and decided to simply slice her in half. >"You always blame somebody else don't >you?!" He was practically screaming at her, >letting all his rage out on her. DUO: Again, that's not saying a lot. >" I come home from the fields and the first >thing I see when I come in the door doesn't >want to be someone * toasted* and laying >unconscious on the floor!" BEN: (Tenchi) Now, if they're burnt and dead, that's fine. >He said while >pointing to Ayeka picking up Washu's >unconscious body. >He started to calm down but his voice >became heated again. VINCENT: The house soon caught fire, destroying everything.The End BEN: Wishful thinking? VINCENT: Indeed. >" I don't want to see >you *ever* again." DUO: (Ryoko) But we're still on for tomorrow, right? BEN: (Tenchi) You bet! >Sasami watched from the doorway of the >kitchen as Ryoko disappeared leaving just >before a fresh tear rolled down off her >cheek and splashed the coffee table she was >still floating over. >"Tenchi?!" Sasami asked in a concerned but >angry voice. >"Yes Sasami?" The anger lifting from his >voice when he turned around. He saw the >tears welling up in her eyes. BEN: (Tenchi as Urkel) Did I do that? >" Ryoko didn't hit Washu, * Ayeka * did!" DUO: (Tenchi) Good, now I'll tell Ayeka I never want to see her again and I'll be rid of them both! >she burst out sobbing and ran out of the >room sobbing uncontrollably. VINCENT: At least he spelled it right this time. >Ryo-Ohki ran >behind her but not before hissing at Tenchi >for making both Ryoko *and* Sasami cry. VINCENT: (Tenchi) Ryoko's cried.Sasami's cried.(evil look) Who's next on my list? >He muttered something under his breath that >could only be distinguished as " Damnit!" BEN: Tsk, tsk, Tenchi, let's not get out of character, now. >**** DUO: Guess a disgruntled reader shot at the fic. VINCENT: Too bad he missed. >She still sat on the roof crying but not >making a sound. Once in a while you could >hear a faint whimper but that was all. She >had been sitting here ever since that >afternoon thinking. >< "Why do I get blamed for everything?" > ALL: It's usually your fault. >< "Is everything really my fault?" > ALL: Pretty much. >< "Why me?" > ALL: Because you get blamed for everything and it's usually your fault. >< "Tenchi is so mad at me for something I >didn't do!" > DUO: Odd how he doesn't get mad at something she does do. >All these thoughts and questions flooded >her mind BEN: (Meteorologist) And here on our five day forecast, we can expect a lot of thought and question precipitation raining through Ryoko's head. >and made her start crying ALL: Again? >uncontrollably. She remembered that >afternoon. VINCENT: I would hope she would remember, considering it just happened. >When she went to the roof and >about five minutes later Tenchi came looking >for her. BEN: Was that confusing to you guys? VINCENT AND DUO: Very. >**** DUO: I dunno.is this really a four-star fanfic? VINCENT: (Bluntly) No. >"Ryoko!..Ryoko!.where are you?!" Tenchi was >really worried and felt really guilty about >what he had just did and all the things he >had said to her. VINCENT: He was also upset about the long, confusing sentence. >Ryoko sat on the edge of >the roof looking down at him. All she could >think was, if she let him know where she was >he would just start yelling at her again. >She dematerialized as a tear fell from her >cheek and hit Tenchi's. VINCENT: Knocking him over and giving him a concussion. DUO: My God, you're very dark today. BEN: What else did you expect? >He felt something hot and wet touch his >cheek and he reached up and touched it. It >was a tear but not his own. BEN: Hmm.tastes salty. >He looked up to >the rooftop and whispered something barely >audible. >" Ryoko, I'm so sorry..please forgive me" DUO: Maybe if he spoke up, she would actually hear him. >he said while looking up at the spot where >Ryoko had been sitting. >**** DUO: I could be a star! VINCENT: Shut up. >< " She just needed to be alone, that's >all she wanted, why couldn't he just leave >her alone?" > BEN: Well, there's a small problem in that you never leave him alone. >She was so sad that she decided she would >either kill herself or runway. BEN: And there was much rejoicing. VINCENT AND DUO: (Waving mini-flags) Yay. >Either death >or somewhere else DUO: (Ryoko) I could visit other places like Famine, Poverty, or Pestilence.choices choices. >would be better than to >have her only love of her life stab her >repeatedly in her heart. BEN: Well, if my lover knifed me repeatedly I'd say the relationship's basically over. >Ryoko decided : < "I must leave"> DUO: (Ryoko as Freakazoid) Good for me! >**** VINCENT: Tomorrow's Tenchi episode: No Need for the Damned Stars. >The man sat in the chair aboard his >spaceship. BEN: (Chris Rock) Why? Cuz THE MAN would never give me a spaceship! >Long navy robes hung off his >shoulders of his gold rimmed black armor. DUO: (Joan Rivers) Oh my gawd! Who are you wearing? VINCENT: (Man) It is the royal attire passed down through the generations in which I am now privileged to wear. DUO: (Joan Rivers) .Oh. >"Your Highness can I speak with you?" Kazui >asked. BEN: (His Highness) Only if you narrate more about my awesome clothes. >Kazui was a high apprentice of the Prince >of the planet DUO: Sheesh, try saying that ten times fast. (Ben opens his mouth as if he is about to try, but Vincent's cold stare stops him) >named Inovescee and all of the >people who lived there. VINCENT: He's an apprentice of the entire planet's population? BEN: Must be a busy life. >The Inovescians were >a warrior race and the prince was now >searching for a bride. DUO: (Prince) None under my bed.none in the closet.damn! >The Prince was a very >handsome man with sandy blonde hair and aqua >blue eyes. VINCENT: Should we care? DUO: Yeah.it would have been nice of Carnage to send up some women. BEN: Yes, I'm sure Carnage's first priority was to make us feel comfortable and "at home." >" What do you wish to speak about with me?" >he said standing from his chair, smiling and >turning towards Kazui. Kazui visibly >flinched VINCENT: As opposed to his normal invisible flinching. >because he hated to see the Prince >mad DUO: So he smiles when he gets angry? BEN: Remember, Duo, smile and nod. >because of his Father's insisting that >he become married before he takes the >throne. VINCENT: (Father) You can have this comfortable chair only after you get married. >" His majesty is inquiring about your >marriage." ALL: (Priest from the Princess Bridge) Marwaige! >Kazui's voice lowered and stopped >he didn't want to continue. VINCENT: He was too exhausted after that run-on sentence. >The prince gave him a withering look before BEN: .Decaying. >saying "Go on". He wasn't happy with the >way this conversation was going either. ALL: (As Jerry Springer audience) Ooooohhhhhh. >" Your Father, His Majesty BEN: (Prince) No, his name's Bill. >has told me if >you don't choose a bride soon he will choose >one for you." Kazui truly hated messages >that made the Prince this angry. DUO: After all, he'd only keep smiling. >" Very well Kazui, tell my Father I have >found a suitable match and that I'm looking >into it now." VINCENT: (Prince) Well @!^%, I'd better start looking. >The Prince's tone was a little >harsh. >" Yes Your Highness" with that Kazui left. VINCENT: .To search for the missing punctuation in her sentence. >Many Kings of various empires had sent data >on their daughters, BEN: Measurements, baby! (Vincent shakes his head and sighs with frustration) >the first princesses. >One had been the King Azusa of Jurai, he had >seemed very anxious to get his daughter >married. DUO: I might be mistaken, but are we talking about Ayeka? >When he saw the tape sent to him he >wasn't very impressed with the princess's >fighting skills at all, she seemed rather >weak. DUO: Yep, it's Ayeka. >Since the Inovescians were a warrior >race they chose their brides by their >strength, attitude, personality, and the >major part of it was fighting skills. ALL: (Singing) I've got the skills. >It >wasn't the Princess on the tape in the >battle with Kagato that interested him but a >strong, beautiful girl with spiky ice blue >hair and yellow feline eyes. DUO: Well, quit leaving us hanging! What's her name? >" She is the one I *really* VINCENT: Apparently the author failed to learn of the concept of Italics. >want to be >with" he whispered to himself. >He had found every scrap of information on >this girl name Ryoko and cried silently as >he watched all the hardships of her life. BEN: Shouldn't he be crying over the hardships she gives Tenchi? >< BEN: The greater than and less than signs were later married and lived a long, happy life, giving birth to their wonderful child Equal To. >"It's not fair for her or for anybody to >endure that much pain in a single life >time." > BEN: But alas, the greater than sign's evil twin brother would come back for revenge! VINCENT: That's enough. DUO: Ditto. >He vowed that if he met this Tenchi >Masaki that he would kill him for causing so >much pain to now, DUO: I thought he was obsessing over Ryoko, not this Now character. >*his* Ryoko. BEN: (The Prince) Mine! Minemineminemineminemine- (Vincent fires his gun into the air, promptly bringing Ben to return his attention to the fanfic) >He swore it >everyday and every night for he undeniably >hated this *Tenchi Masaki* for that. DUO: (Dr. Evil) Riiiggghhhttt. >He called two of his guards named Hitomo >and Yohko. Hitomo was a strong man with >black hair pulled into a long braid that ran >down his back. VINCENT: The braided hair ran with enough force to tear away from Hitomo's scalp. (Duo cringes) >Yohko was a very agile and >thin looking woman whose eyes darted back >and forth a lot looking for anything >suspicious. BEN: Needless to say, her eyes were away from her head most of the time. >Her orange hair stretched back >into a long ponytail while two long tresses >of hair hung in front of each of her ears >behind bangs. They bowed before him on one >knee. DUO: Uh.did they just bow or kneel? >"Yes my lord, how may we serve you?" BEN: (Prince) I'll have a quarter-pounder with cheese and biggie fries. >They >lifted their heads as they spoke and smiled, >they knew exactly what he wanted them to do. DUO: It's sex time! (Vincent gives Duo a steely look. Duo immediately shuts up and turns back to the screen.) >" We will be passing the backwater planet >known as earth very soon. VINCENT: (Prince) It's not important enough to be capitalized. >I wish for you two >to capture Lady Ryoko, my faithful servants. BEN: I thought Ryoko was a space pirate. >but do not harm her because she is very >important to me!" DUO: Never mind the fact that I don't even know her! >" Yes my Lord, we serve and obey." BEN: (Yohko and Hitomo) We cook, we clean, we wash. VINCENT: Don't lapse into anything sexual. BEN: .We.dammit. >The >Prince turned to look at the stars outside >of the window , VINCENT: Which the ship would soon collide into. >as his two guards stood and >left the room he sighed. >" Soon you will be with me Ryoko and there >will be no need for the pain you've endured >by living with *him*. ALL: (Stupidly) Who? >**** BEN: Why, it's.eh.forget it; I got nothing. >Ryoko phased her head through the roof. It >was 2am in the morning and everyone was in >bed except Ryoko. DUO: All in the same bed? (Ben drools) >< "Good no one is around" > she didn't want >to be seen going into Washu's lab. Her eyes >were red and puffy from crying. BEN: And there was much rejoicing. VINCENT AND DUO: (Waving mini-flags) Yay. >She phased >the rest of the way through the roof. Ryoko >floated down towards the lab door and opened >it. (Ben makes a loud squeaky sound) >There was a far table with a bright >light hanging over it. Washu lay unconscious >on the table with bandage covering the left >side of her body. VINCENT: Yes, Bandage, her faithful lab partner and medic. >She floated towards the >bed and planted her feet on the ground; DUO: Her feet would grow to be big and strong! >Ryoko stood there for a few minutes before >she decided to speak. BEN: (Ryoko) WAZZUP?!?!? >"Washu..Mom,...I'm..leaving. Even though it >was Ayeka who *zapped* you I feel that its >all my fault. Tenchi certainly thinks it >is.I felt this big when he yelled at me". >She motioned with her fingers to about an >inch of space between them and quickly >pressed them together. BEN: What a coincidence. Tenchi's about that big too. DUO: Ouch, Ben.ouch. >"I just don't >*belong* here and I never have *belonged* >anywhere". VINCENT: Must he star all semi-important words? >Tears welled up in her eyes as >she started to cry. ALL: Again? DUO: Damn, we're all pretty heartless, aren't we? VINCENT: Yes. >"I must leave now". With >that she turned and walked towards the door. VINCENT: Accidentally knocking the table over, killing Washu. >" Ryoko...wait" a very faint whisper said. DUO: Oh, and so did Washu. >Ryoko stopped but didn't turn around. She >stood there for five seconds VINCENT: She must enjoy counting how long her dramatic pauses last. >before moving >towards the door once again. The door slid >shut after she exited as she summoned Ryo- >Ohki. BEN: (Ryoko) Come to me. >The brown Cabbit VINCENT: (Clutching his head) Damn it! Run on sentences.fragments.obscure references.incorrect capitalization.I.can't.take---UUUUHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (Red energy begins surrounding Vincent) DUO: Umm.Ben? Is he okay? BEN: (Ignoring Duo) Vincent, get a grip! VINCENT: (Calming down) I'm sorry.I'm just losing patience.but I swear.one more obvious error like all the others and I'll snap. DUO: And do what? VINCENT: You'll see if it happens. DUO: Oh.good.I guess. >ran down stairs VINCENT: DOWNSTAIRS IS ONE WORD!!!!!!!! UUUUUUUUHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! BEN: Umm.umm.it can be used as two words! VINCENT: --UHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Oh. DUO: (To Ben) Is that true? BEN: (To Duo) Hell if I know; I'm just trying to calm him down. >and >into her arms. >All over the house the people who were >sleeping woke up to a blood-curdling scream. DUO: A great thing to program on your alarm clock. >"Rrrryyyyoooookkkkooooo!!!!" BEN: (Ryoko) YYYYYYYYYeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss???? >Washu kept >screaming at the top of her lungs before she >fell unconscious again. >Tenchi ran down the stairs followed by >Ayeka, Sasami, and Noboyuki. They all were >simultaneously yelling "What..what's >wrong!!" VINCENT: (Red energy emanating from him) WHEN YOU ASK A QUESTION.USE A @!#%!$% QUESTION MARK!!!!!!! UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (Vincent's skin has turned a pale gray. Horns grow from his head and his eyes turn blood red. His hands have turned into very unfriendly looking claws. He has transformed into Chaos) DUO: Holy !$#@%!!!! BEN: .Oh dear. (Vincent flies around the theater) DUO: Good God! What the hell do we do now? BEN: Er.I guess just wait for him to cool down. DUO: Oh, great plan. BEN: Let's just concentrate on the fic. >When they entered the lab though >all they found was an unconscious Washu >lying on the table like before. But they all >agreed that it was definitely Washu's voice >they heard screaming Ryoko's name. BEN AND DUO: (Singing) Say my name, say my name. (The two then notice chairs are either being thrown around the theater or are being set on fire.) BEN AND DUO: . >Tenchi was still mad at Ayeka for not >telling him it was she who hit Washu and >that Sasami had to do it. He had given her a >strict talk too, but not like he had to >Ryoko because he felt so guilty after what >Sasami had told him. He tried to wake Washu >up and ask but what was wrong but with no >prevail. He turned around and noticed Ryoko >and Ryo-Ohki were missing. BEN: Where in the world is Ryoko? DUO: Eck, lame man. BEN: Sorry, I'm just a little nervous, what with a winged demon flying around us. DUO: Point taken. >" Where's Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki?" The group >shook their heads in a no DUO: Wow, what a good answer to his question: no. >but then looked at >each other with wide eyes. BEN: What with the size of anime girls' eyes, they must be about the size of saucers by now. >They knew exactly >what was going on. CHAOS: STOP THE FIC, NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! I SUMMON THE POWERS OF DARKNESS!!!!!!! STAN SLAM!!!!!!! DUO: Stan Slam? BEN: My God.he's been obsessed by so many typos that he's inadvertently created some of his own. (Stan Marsh rises from out of nowhere and fires his turkey/rooster launcher at the screen. Although the poultry explodes on impact, the screen remains undamaged. Stan vanishes.) CHAOS: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! WHY?????????!!!!!! BEN: C'mon, Vincent, I've seen way worse than this. Have some patience! CHAOS: (Flies right up to Ben) .REALLY? DUO: The man's right, have a seat.(Looks around.) before you burn everything else in the theater. (Chaos sighs and reverts back to Vincent) VINCENT: Sorry. BEN: Hey, man, it happens.just don't ever do it again. DUO: Uh huh.back to the fic. >All four of them ran outside just in time >to see a spaceship leaving but strangely it >wasn't Ryo-Ohki. BEN: (Captain Picard) Captain's log.after observing the activities of the nine lifeforms living in the residence.we got the hell out of there. >**** DUO: Wow, what a weak snowstorm. >She left the house just as the scream >pierced the cool night air. BEN: The cool night air immediately pressed charges against the scream. >Ryo-Ohki, in her >arms, miyad in worry. VINCENT: When you're dealing with alien life forms, feel free to make up your own verbs. >" No were not saying goodbye" Ryoko VINCENT: Noticed her lack of punctuation and apostrophes. >wouldn't look back and wouldn't look around, DUO: Until she realized she should probably take food and clothing with her. >she was going to the one place where she had >spent 700 long years of her life in, the >cave. BEN: (Ryoko) Me go back to cave, me eat Ryo-Ohki! >" Miya?" asked worriedly VINCENT: Who was also accompanying Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki. >as she saw the dry >tear marks being lit up in the pale >moonlight. She decided she wouldn't say >anymore and just sat on her shoulder the >rest of the way. BEN: Who? Ryo-Ohki or Worriedly? >" I know Ryo-Ohki but I just can't take the >pain any longer, not anymore." VINCENT: I always thought that "anymore" and "any longer" were synonymous terms. >But before >Ryoko could finish Ryo-Ohki started hissing >at the shadows. DUO: (Ryo-Ohki as Cartman) Shadows piss me off! >Then two cloaked figures >stepped out of the shadows and threw a net >on her. BEN: The sad lives of disgruntled fishermen. >Ryo-Ohki jumped and got away but >Ryoko decided to fight. BEN: And there was much rejoicing. VINCENT AND DUO: (Waving little flags) Yay. >She ignited ALL: KABOOM!!! >her >light sword but the rope let out an >electrical shock and knocked her sword out. BEN: New Pikachu-charged nets. >"His Majesty has chosen you" DUO: (Person) For our next million dollar winner! >it was a >woman's voice but that's all she could >understand before another electrical charge >surged through the net knocking her >unconscious. VINCENT: They have a rather odd way of showing that she's been "chosen." BEN: Maybe they chose her to test out their new net. >**** DUO: It's Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki, knocked out cold. BEN: Hey, it's break time. VINCENT: Finally. (The three exit the theater and go to the bridge) -------------------------------------------------- Back on the bridge, Vincent takes a much needed drink of water. Ben looks sadly at a piece of paper sent by Carnage. Duo observes Ben's saddened expression and asks, "What's up?" "We're not even half-way done with this fic." says Ben dismally. Vincent does a spit-take and looks at Ben furiously. ".Not even half-way?" "Yep." Ben walks over to Vincent and puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Just remember.smile and nod.don't get angry.k?" Vincent sighs and nods. "I shall do my best." "And remember," says Ben philosophically, "this isn't a lemon.be thankful for that much." Duo looks at Ben puzzled. "We asked this before.what the hell's a lemon?" Ben simply shakes his head and says, again, "Ask me again later." Suddenly, the fanfic signal blares very loudly. Duo sighs."Here we go again." The three return to the theater. ------------------------------------------------------------------ ----- (The three sit back down in their respective seats.) VINCENT: Smile and nod.smile and nod. >Ryo-Ohki ran up to Sasami miyaing and >crying loudly. BEN: Ryo-Ohki IS.Lassie! >Sasami couldn't understand >what she was saying only Ryoko could VINCENT: Make such horrible run-on sentences. >do >that. But she knew what it meant. DUO: Doesn't that contradict the previous sentence? >"Ryo-Ohki what happened?" Just replying in >miyas Sasami gave up. DUO: (Sasami) Screw you. >All that was left of the spaceship that you >could see VINCENT: I don't see anything. >was a flash of light as it went >into hyper space but that was it. BEN: But who's seeing this? >Hitomo and Yohko flew their spaceship named >the Fouji and headed back to the Prince's >spaceship named the Firesea. ALL: Yay. >Ryoko lay >unconscious on the floor about five feet >behind them. DUO: (Hitomo) How many feet behind us is Ryoko? BEN: (Yohko) Hmm.about five feet! >There was no need to restrain >her because with both their powers they >could over power her easily. VINCENT: As well as make confusing sentences. >**** BEN: Ryoko and her doppelganger.out cold. >Ryoko woke up on a soft bed, it was the >softest bed she had ever felt. VINCENT: I'm sure that's the first thing that went through her mind. >She rolled >over and noticed that BEN: Tenchi wasn't there. >she was in a huge >fancy room with a big chandelier and very >elaborate furniture. She stood and now >noticed that her clothes were the color of >her hair, ice blue, BEN: After viciously raping Ryoko, the Prince decided to make her look nice. >and flowed into a long >sleeved ankle cut dress that closed around >the thumb. DUO: Of her finger? >A long cape slid from her >shoulders, edged with fur and flowed to the >floor and dragged as she walked around. VINCENT: The fur was still alive, you see. >She ignited ALL: KABOOM!!! >her sword in front of her chest VINCENT: Accidentally impaling herself in the process. >as she looked over and saw the two guards in >front of the two mammoth doors. They were >woman DUO: Hear them roar! >wearing armor similar to Azaka's and >Kamidake's BEN: They're wearing wood? >but without the trellises over >the shoulders. DUO: .Okay. >When they saw her they walked towards her. BEN: (Ben Stein) Wow. >One had green hair and yellow eyes the other >had yellow hair and green eyes. DUO: It's like.they're opposites or something. >It stuck in >her mind that they must be sisters or twins >because they looked exactly the same except >for the eyes and the hair. They bowed before >her on one knee VINCENT: That.makes no sense. BEN: Hold up buddy.smile and nod. (Vincent nods but doesn't smile) >and said something that >shocked Ryoko so much she almost had a heart >attack. BEN: (Hitomo and Yohko) WAZZUP?!?! >" We are here to serve Lady Ryoko" the one >with green hair spoke. DUO: (The one with green hair) We'll also serve you if you want. >Ryoko's light sword deactivated from the >shock and she tumbled over backwards before >regaining her balance. >"Wha.wha..what?!" she stuttered out. >"My name is Zebta and this is Zabta, we are ALL: The Wonder Twins! >here to serve you" VINCENT: We can't provide any punctuation, though. >the yellow haired girl >said. They were rather young to be guards, >they looked only 15 0r 16 but not any older >than that. BEN: Wow, they're these really powerful guards and they probably don't have driver's licenses. DUO: Well, I pilot a friggin gundam and I just have my permit. VINCENT: I fail to understand the logic in that. DUO: There is none. >The green haired one named Zabta spoke into >her wristwatch " Your Highness, Lady Ryoko >is awake." BEN: (Zabta) And it's 3:53 P.M. >They stood up, walked over to the door and >bowed their heads as the doors opened. VINCENT: It was customary to pay respect to their doors. >Two >men and one woman walked in. The man in >front was very handsome, DUO: Do we care? >then she recognized >the man and woman behind him as her >kidnappers and let out a low growl. She >didn't recognize the man in front though. BEN: Well, this is the first time they've met. >Ryoko was scared and angry, they took her >without her permission, even though they had >been nice to her it was no excuse. VINCENT: (Clutches head) Confusing.sentence.bad.punctuation. BEN: Hey! Quit the Shatner bit! Smile and nod, dammit! VINCENT: (Takes deep breathe) I'm fine. >She stepped towards the man in front as a >soft yellow light filled the room as she >ignited BEN AND DUO: KA- VINCENT: We've done that more than enough times. BEN AND DUO: .You're no fun. >her light sword. >**** BEN: A four-eyed constipated wiener dog on the verge of self- detonation while gnawing on a latex condom. VINCENT: The hell? DUO: >_< BEN: (Looking back to the camera) As you can see, we're running quite low on star gags. ^_^ >"We must go after her!" Tenchi was >beginning to panic. DUO: It took him this long to start panicking? BEN: Tenchi is rather slow witted. >"One of us must stay behind to look after >Washu though." BEN: Someone has to let her out and feed her, y'know. >Sasami was speaking as she >blinked back tears. VINCENT: Blink back tears? >She was so sad and mad >at Tenchi because she knew he was the reason >Ryoko had left them. DUO: So shouldn't she be happy? Less competition, after all. >In the lab... >"What the heck?" Washu looked down at her >bandages and ripped them off. VINCENT: Immediately causing the wounds to bleed again.she died shortly thereafter. >" Don't they know I don't need bandages? If >my daughter has self-regeneration don't you >think I would have it? Do I look that >stupid?" (Ben is about to speak up, but realizes it isn't necessary) >She was talking to nothing but thin >air. DUO: Thin Air always got tired of Washu's ramblings. >" Ryoko is missing, she's not in danger now >but I don't know about later. BEN: Once again we've lapsed into the Speed Racer type of talking. >I have to find >her location so we can bring her back" she >activated her holo-top (Ben again opens his mouth as if to say something, but decides not to) >and started typing. DUO: My God.the suspense! >Back outside. (Everyone makes cricket chirping sounds.) >"We must go after her, what if they're >torturing her or something!" Tenchi was >frantic by now. VINCENT: Make up your mind, Tenchi; panic or frantic? >A pink haired scientist walked out of the >front door. DUO: Oh yeah, so did Washu. >Anger filled her usual sarcastic >tone BEN: So she's ancastic? >as she spoke to Tenchi, the reason >Ryoko was gone. >" I think you're the last person she wants >to see right now." Her green eyes blazed >with anger that could cut through steel. VINCENT: Her eyes proceeded to saw Tenchi in half.The End. >Mihoshi ran up to Washu and squeezed her (Ben chuckles) >so >hard that she couldn't breathe. " Your VINCENT: YOU'RE!!! >o.k. >Washu, I'm so happy you are!" she said in >her usual bubbly tone. >- Everyone that hears face faults - >"Oh brother," Kiyone stood beside Sasami >trying to control her anger. DUO: Funny.Sasami seems calm enough. >"How did you heal so fast Washu?" Sasami's >cheerful voice asked. BEN: (Sasami) Shut up, Cheerful Voice! >"Well I do have self-regeneration like >Ryoko, where did you think she got it from >the masses?" VINCENT: Masses? BEN: Just think of them as Ryoko's father. VINCENT: .I hate this. >she let out her usual cackle >and everyone just blinked. >" I didn't know that, why didn't you tell >us when you were telling us Ryoko could >self-regenerate?" Ayeka's voice rang. (Everyone covers their ears in pain.) >"Simple Ayeka, none of you asked" Washu >cackled again before looking around, all of >them just stared at her. >" What did you think? That I would live >over 20 thousand years and not know how to >heal myself? You can't be serious? Can you?' >she asked. VINCENT: Forgetting to add a full quotation mark. >" Ya know she's got a point and maybe she >could teach us how to do it and then we >wouldn't." Mihoshi began to ramble on and on >and on. VINCENT: So they took her out back and shot her. DUO: Don't like Mihoshi? VINCENT: I despise the woman.if you can even call her that. BEN: Wow, with all the comments we've made, I'm bound to get some hate mail. >"Can't you just shut your big fat trap for >once?" Kiyone screamed as she strangled >Mihoshi. DUO: I knew she'd snap sooner or later. >"I've had it with you". BEN: Wow, Kiyone snaps, but she sounds really emotionless. >Mihoshi >started to turn blue. Tenchi and Noboyuki >pulled Kiyone off of Mihoshi screaming and >kicking VINCENT: Why would Tenchi and Noboyuki be kicking and screaming? >" I'll get you one of these days and >they won't be here to save you!" DUO: Mihoshi's so dense that she probably thinks of that as a compliment or something. BEN: (Mihoshi) Yay! Kiyone wants to kill me! >Everyone just stood there as sweat drops >formed on the back of their heads. Kiyone >calmed down and decided it was best to go >get Yagami ready for flight. Washu and >Sasami trailed after her. >"Do you have the coordinates with you >Washu?" Kiyone asked. VINCENT: Coordinates for what? They don't even know what they're after! BEN: Smile and nod. VINCENT: . >"Yes of course..lets DUO: Not complete this ellipsis. >go O.K.?" BEN: (Mr. Mackie) Mmkay? >"O.K." with that they continued towards the >ship, Tenchi, VINCENT: I thought it was the Yagami. >Ryo-Ohki, Mihoshi, and >Noboyuki followed after getting Yosho. BEN: (Noboyuki) Don't worry, Dad, we'll put you in a carry- on. >**** DUO: The constellation "Straight Line." >"What do you want?!" Ryoko growled out >between clenched teeth. BEN: (The Prince) Uh.you. >"My name is Yosuke Inove, ALL: Ghetsundheit. >Crown Prince of >the planet Inovescee." He bowed to her, VINCENT: On one knee? >which shocked her even more. DUO: Okay.what hasn't shocked her in this fic so far? >"Why did you bring me here?" she spoke more >calmly but anger still filled her voice as >he walked towards her. BEN: (Yosuke as Joey from Friends) Hey.how you doin'? >She realized how handsome he truly was when >he got closer to her. He cupped her hand in >his hands. VINCENT: Ryoko immediately snapped his wrists. >Yosuke was a kind man and she >could tell by his smile and his tone of >voice. It was cheerful but serious at the >same time. DUO: Good attitude if you can pull it off. >"I brought you here to become my bride." BEN: (Ryoko) Oh, is that all? >He >smiled as he said this but she jerked her >hand out of his and wiped it off on her >dress. BEN AND DUO: (Ryoko) Eww.man cooties! VINCENT: . >"Wha..wha.what!!?" she stuttered from the >shock DUO: Shessh, you'd expect her to explode from being shocked so much. >and that was the only word she could >spit out. VINCENT: Actually, she only said one complete word. BEN: Must you point out every single mistake? VINCENT: It keeps me sane. BEN: .Er.keep up the good work! >He smiled harder as she started to >stutter more. DUO: Guys, I'm getting a little scared at all this smiling. >" I know everything about you Lady Ryoko, >what you like, ..what you don't..your >feelings toward that..*Tenchi Masaki* BEN: You mean how she's hopelessly in love with him? >..and >how much he has hurt you!" his voice turned >into anger DUO: But he keeps on smiling! >as he spoke Tenchi's name. But it >turned to his normal cheery tone as he said >" I love you Ryoko, because BEN: (Yosuke) You were behind Door Number 2. >I know the real >you.. You don't have to be my bride right >away but you will be my bride eventually." VINCENT: (Ryoko) Wow.what a bargain. >Taken back by those three words that no one >had ever spoken to her in her whole life, >she just stood there and stared at him in >shock DUO: Yep, more shock. >as he took her hand kissed it, stepped >back and resumed what he was saying. >"I expect you to join me in an hour for >breakfast and I will be very disappointed if >you don't come. BEN: Ooooo.he's getting threatening now! >I have assigned Zebta and >Zabta to look after you and protect you. VINCENT: From what? >So >they will escort you to the dining hall." >"Aren't they a little young, they don't >have that much experience in fighting do >they?" Ryoko looked at the yellowed hair >girl, ALL: In shock, of course. >then at her sister who were VINCENT: WAS! WAS DAMMIT! (Ben and Duo shift uncomfortably in their chairs.) >now >conversing with the other two guards that >had taken her from her home, even though she >was going to leave. DUO: I'm sure Ryoko has no problem flying light years back to Earth. >"They are the best fighters in our empire >besides my younger brothers and myself of >course. They are apart of my royal guard but >I have assigned them to you." His smile >became brighter BEN: (Ryoko) Stop smiling! >as he heard what he expected >Ryoko to say. BEN: Blow off? DUO: Get the hell away from me? VINCENT: Die? >"Really, no kidding'?" (Everyone looks disappointed.) >She was still >shocked DUO: Ryoko's always shocked, Yosuke always smiles, Tenchi's always panicky. >by all the information she was still >absorbing into her mind. >"Yes, they will escort you in an hour to >the dining hall for breakfast. Now I have >business to take care of and I believe an >hour is enough time for you to freshen up?" BEN: How? I thought Ryoko never bothered with makeup.and you already dressed her. >"Yes.definitely" Ryoko VINCENT: Failed in her experiment to switch the comma and the period. >said as he walked >towards the door. >"Then I will see you then." With that he >left and Ryoko stood alone DUO: Aren't Zebta and Zabta with her? BEN: Should we bother caring anymore? VINCENT: We never did care. >in the middle of >the room. The guards had left DUO: Oh.nevermind. >except for >Zebta and Zabta BEN: . DUO: Errgh. >who again took their >positions at the door without saying a word. >Fifteen minutes later she still stood there >shocked VINCENT: What a surprise. >at the words he had spoken before >finally speaking in a whisper. >"He loves me?" BEN: (Yosuke) Nah, I was just kidding. >then she shook her head VINCENT: Snapping her neck, immediately killing her. >"There has to be a mistake" DUO: (Ryoko) No one's dumb enough to love me! >she walked >towards the guards and asked where the bath >was. BEN: (Zabta) What's a bath? >The girl with the green hair named Zabta >spoke "In the back corner over there" DUO: (Ryoko) No curtains? No bathroom? You people don't believe in privacy, do you? >she >pointed to an isolated corner in the far >back of the room VINCENT: Seems like you're right, Duo. DUO: Sheesh, I was only kidding. >with her index finger then >smiled at Ryoko. BEN: Great, now she's smiling too. ><"These people are definitely friendly!"> VINCENT: Their friendliness shocked Ryoko. >she shrugged and headed towards the bath. ><"Maybe a nice hot bath will clear things >up"> VINCENT: Why? Why can't the author punctuate his quotations? >she thought. She started to review the >whole day in her mind, BEN: And gave it an 8 out of 10. >realizing she still >had her light sword ignited she extinguished >it and grabbed a towel off the rack (Ben chuckles. Vincent simply shakes his head.) >as she >shut the door to the bath. DUO: So there's a door that leads to the corner of the room? BEN: Duo, you should also use the "smile and nod" technique.it'll save you lots of grief. >**** BEN: (To Duo) You got anything? DUO: (To Ben) Nope.you? BEN: Nah. >Yagami flew through the air and into the >stars. VINCENT: The ship melted rather quickly. >Washu sighed then spoke " Were coming >little Ryoko, were coming." VINCENT: Washu.the genius who needed no apostrophes. >They all sat around the Yagami's main deck >except for Kiyone and Mihoshi who were >piloting. DUO: How long before they crash? BEN: I give 'em five minutes.tops. >They all were very worried >especially Tenchi VINCENT: Who was panicking again. >who knew it was his fault >she had gone out tonight. Ayeka had tried to >cheer him up but it hadn't worked. BEN: She coaxes him, she reassures him, she flashes him.he won't cheer up! >She looked down at her feet < " I'm so >tired of him being mad at me for not coming >to Ryoko's defense when I knew I did it. >What did he think? That I was going to >protect her? Hmmpf, never in my life! ALL: (Singing) Snob snob snob snob snob snob snob snob. >I'm >upset that I hit Washu but I *did* apologize >to her."> Washu had excepted her apology and >said that " It was a simple accident, I >should just look both ways before crossing >the living room." DUO: You never know when Nobuyuki might drive the car through the living the room, after all. >She had cackled at the >thought BEN: (Washu) Injuries are funny! >but Ayeka hadn't thought it was so >funny at that moment. VINCENT: The only thing the princess finds amusing is the thought of Ryoko's demise. >Tenchi was thinking at the moment DUO: First time for everything, I guess. >like the >rest of them but his thoughts were more sad >and guilt ridden then the rest of the >groups. < "It's all my fault..I should have >asked who did it BEN: Sure, I know Ayeka would have been honest and confessed. VINCENT: Right. >before I jumped to >conclusions. Ryoko would never fry her own >mother *that* bad on purpose. VINCENT: She only slightly fries things on purpose. >If it was in >deed an accident she would of acted the same >way she did today.horrified..I'm such a baka >for doing that to her!"> BEN: (Tenchi) I'm an idiot too. >At that moment Kiyone walked in with >Mihoshi a few feet behind her. " Hey >everyone, DUO: (Kiyone) Guess who's not flying the ship? >the coordinates have been set into >the computer VINCENT: Coordinates for what? How do they know where they're- (Vincent simply nods and attempts to smile.) >and I have engaged the auto- >pilot too. BEN: (Kiyone) It doesn't work, but we engaged it anyway. >I think we should get something >to eat and get some sleep. After all it's >time for breakfast." VINCENT: It's early and the morning and now it's time for sleep? What the hell? >A small smile appeared >on her face. DUO: (Kiyone) I learned this from some guy named Yosuke! >"O.K I'll start fixing breakfast" with that >Sasami got up and headed out the door VINCENT: And into the vacuum of space. >with >Ryo-Ohki sitting on her head. DUO: I sure hope Ryo-Ohki's housebroken. >After Sasami left Yosho stood up " How long >will it take us to get there?" VINCENT: (Kiyone) Well, since we don't know where we're going, it'll be awhile. >Before Kiyone could speak Washu answered >for her. " It will take us 2 days, 4 hours, >17 minutes, and 58 seconds if the molecular >structure of space stays exactly the same or >else I will have to reconfigure the data." (Everyone blinks and nods in fake comprehension.) >"Why will it take us so long to get there. VINCENT: Because we don't know where "there" is! >They've already arrived in less than an >hour." Ayeka was extremely confused by this. BEN: As are we. >" It's the simple fact that they have much >more advanced ships then the Yagami or any >of the Galaxy Polices spaceships or >cruisers." VINCENT: (Washu) And the fact that they actually know where they're going. >"Then who do you think they are Little >Washu?" This was the first time Noboyuki had >spoken up the whole trip. He was very >disappointed in the way his son had acted >towards Ryoko. DUO: I'm starting to get disappointed in the sensibility of this scene. >"I have a hypothesis..but I'm not sure. BEN: She doesn't know if she has a hypothesis? >The >only ships that can retain that high of >speed belong to two species of people. The >Inovescians or the Kiezeti." >"Warrior races?! That means she is in real >big trouble doesn't it, right?" Washu just >looked at Mihoshi before continuing >"Not necessarily, the Inovescians are very >kind people, DUO: (Washu) They just kill for fun. >they only fight in defense, or >if they are provoked, challenged, or >attacked, BEN: (Washu) Or if they just really want to. >and they never kill in cold blood. >I knew many Inovescians at the Academy and >the only reason they're a warrior race is >because they base things mostly on fighting >skills. If that's the case Ryoko will be >very respected and important to keep alive." VINCENT: After her previous fighting performance? I think not. >"What about the Kiezeti?" BEN: (Washu) Oh, they're just some race I made up to extend the scene and make things more dramatic. >Sasami popped her >head around the corner. >"Sasami, how long have you been there?" >asked Ayeka DUO: (Sasami) Shut up, bitch! BEN: Cool! >"Only since Washu started talking about the >Inovescians and the Kiezeti." She smiled and >giggled. VINCENT: She must find warrior races amusing. >"The Kiezeti are a warrior race that will >destroy anything that seems a threat to >their species. They are very independent and >only socially interact with their own >species. That would make it very unlikely >that they would kidnap Ryoko now wouldn't >it?" BEN: Umm.sure? >The group turned around to see that it was >Yosho speaking and stared. DUO: Stare at the old man, kids. >"By looking at you it seems that you >wouldn't expect the Crown Prince of Jurai to >know anything about possible threats to the >Empire." His glasses flashed BEN: (Covers eyes) Can't.see. DUO: Must.talk.like.this. >"Well anyway Grandpa over there is right, VINCENT: (Yosho) No, no, over there is straight ahead. >so it is most likely that the Inovescians >have Ryoko, unless..." Washu paused and seem >to be thinking. >"Unless what Washu.um I mean..little >Washu?" Kiyone let out a little uneasy >smile, not wanting a statue to fall on her >head. BEN: (Kiyone) Lead pipes or huge lamps, sure.statues.no >Washu just let out a smirk VINCENT: The smirk ran rampant around the ship. >" Unless another >species has stolen the Inovescian or Kiezeti >spaceship technology" >Everyone falls over with a crash (Everyone makes car crashing sounds.) >except for >Yosho and Washu, who stand there smiling. " >Don't worry, if anyone stole their >technology I'm sure they would be dead by >now." Yosho explained. DUO: (Yosho) Or just making their getaway. >-everyone lets out a big sigh except for >Yosho and Washu who still have smirks on >their faces- BEN: (Yosho and Washu) Get 'em off! Get them off! >"That wasn't very funny, VINCENT: Agreed. >we will proceed >anyway won't we?" VINCENT: Where?! >Noboyuki looked worried. >"Of course we will. Tenchi is the cause of >this mess and he shall fix it." Yosho's eyes >turned stern as he looked at Tenchi. DUO: (Tenchi) What.you lookin' at me? You wanna dance, old man? >Tenchi winced as his Grandfather's eyes >felt like daggers striking at him >repeatedly. BEN: He then realized that it was just Sasami stabbing him. >Then Sasami piped up in her >usually cheerful voice "Breakfast is ready >if you guys want to eat." >"Oh goody, we could all use something to >eat!" Mihoshi's bubbly voice chimed in. (Vincent winces.) >"What did you cook so fast Sasami?" >Noboyuki asked with hunger in his eyes. VINCENT: It did not take long for Hunger to possess the poor man. >"Well there was only instant rice and >instant curry, so I fixed that." DUO: Which one? >"I'm sorry, I guess I forgot to restock the >fridge yesterday." Mihoshi said sadly >"YOU DIPSTICK, I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT >PARTNERED WITH YOU, BUT IF SOMEONE ELSE >DOESN'T KILL YOU SOON, I'LL DO IT! BEN AND DUO: O_O (Vincent appluades.) >Kiyone's >face was bright red and flames burned in her >eyes. VINCENT: Melting her retinas.and then her brain. (Ben and Duo shift uncomfortably in their seats.) >"We have to eat that for two days?" Ayeka's >voice was cooler BEN: Far out! >than Kiyone's by far but >still a little disturbed. >"No, if you don't like what I cook, you can >eat air!" DUO: (Ayeka) Do we have Instant Air? >Sasami's voice became heated. >"Miya?" asked Ryo-Ohki sadly. >"Sorry Ryo-Ohki but we don't store carrots >on our ship." VINCENT: However we can eat the dead cabbits we have in storage. >Kiyone petted the cabbit. >"Miya" BEN: Such emotion! >Ryo-Ohki pouted on her way to the >kitchen as the others followed after her. >**** DUO: A midget quartet! >Ryoko had gotten out of the bath, but was >still thinking, the hot water had helped >clear VINCENT: And melt. >her mind but something still confused >her more than anything else did. BEN: You mean how some random guy abducts you and demands that you marry him? She should be confused. >< "He wants to marry *me*..h..he loves >*me*..there must be some mistake."> VINCENT: Haven't we already gone over this? >They were so polite to her that she almost >forgot her situation. DUO: Yeah, I'm sure simple courtesy would make me forget all of this! >< "I must find a way >to escape from this ship! But if I do it >will take me years by myself to get to a >planet without a space pod or a spaceship. >What do I do now? BEN: Look for a space pod or a spaceship. >They're so nice but they >look like a very powerful race of people. DUO: Remember how they beat the crap out of you earlier, Ryoko? >So >I just don't think I can take on everyone on >this ship alone."> She had gotten dressed in >her ice blue dress and cape that were >provided for her. She didn't complain about >them because they were the nicest clothes >she had ever worn in her life. VINCENT: She doesn't strike me as one who would care about fashion. >She had just >finished brushing her spiky hair when a >knock came at the door. BEN: Insert knock-knock joke here. >Zebta and Zabta opened one of the doors and >immediately bowed DUO: On one knee of course. >before the handsome man >with sandy blonde hair and aqua blue eyes. BEN: Gee.you think it's Yosuke? DUO: Nah. >He walked past them and told them something. >As he walked across the room Zebta and Zabta >went out the door and closed it behind them. DUO: Sex time! VINCENT: Quiet, you. >Ryoko was sitting in front of a mirror as he >walked up to her. This time Ryoko stood and >ignited her light sword across her chest. VINCENT: Once again impaling herself. >She was going to fight him for her freedom >no matter what he said. BEN: (Yosuke) I've decided to free you. DUO: (Ryoko) DIE!!! >"Do you really want to fight me?" Yosuke >asked. Ryoko's eyes narrowed as she stared >at him. "Fine, if you win you may go but if >I win you will stay here with me." DUO: (Ryoko) Can't we just flip a coin or something? >Ryoko >nodded her head in agreement. Yosuke ignited >his own pail green light sword VINCENT: Everyone seems to have one of these "light swords." BEN: Sounds like a fancy term for "flashlight" to me. >in the palm >of his hand. VINCENT: He bludgeoned his hand while doing so. >< "He has a light sword just like mine, how >can that be?!> DUO: (Yosuke) I got it for $49.99 at Radio Shack, didn't you? >Ryoko's eyes widened then >narrowed again as she realized she had to >concentrate or she might loose the fight. BEN: She might even lose the fight. >She lunged at him but he jumped back before >the blade could connect across his chest. (Mortal Kombat theme song begins to play throughout the theater.) DUO: (Shang Tsung) Let Mortal Kombat begin! BEN: (Yelling) MORTAL KOMBAT!!! >He >smiled at her speed and parried her next >blow. BEN: Are they fighting or are they getting it on? VINCENT: Don't start. BEN: Heh, sorry. >Ryoko screamed in anger and >frustration at him. DUO: Man, all he did was parry. >No one had as much speed >as she did in a fight before him. He dodged >the next attack for his head BEN: (Yosuke) This one's for you, Head! >and swiped his >foot under her leg knocking her off balance. >She dematerialized and reappeared behind >him. Their swords crackled and sent >lightning flashes into the air as they >connected. She flew at him from above as she >split into two Ryokos. (Everyone makes paper ripping noises.) >While one attacked >from the side the other phased up through >the floor. Amazingly he was able to block >both attacks and take a strike of his own. >Ryoko decided she would waste less energy in >her whole form so the two Ryokos merged and >attacked Yosuke but missed again. Before she >could regain her balance the pail green >light went to her throat and stopped. VINCENT: (Shao Kahn) Finish her. DUO: BOOM!!!! BOOM!!!! BEN: (Shao Kahn) Sexuality. >She >looked at his face and he was smiling at >her. ALL: Stop smiling! >He extinguished his sword after she >extinguished her own. >"That's the longest anyone has lasted >against me, I must say you are quite >amazing!" he was still smiling down at her >face. VINCENT: Damn you and your persistent grinning! >"Your not bad yourself." She said. He was >the only one that had beaten her in a real >fight besides Nagi. DUO: As opposed to her many pretend fights? >"Anyway I thought I would take you on a >tour of my ship the Firesea before we have >breakfast." >"Sure why not" VINCENT: How can he miss so much punctuation in three little words? >she knew now that they could >definitely over power her easily if she >tried to escape. So she just decided to go >along with it. BEN: And there was much rejoicing. VINCENT AND DUO: (Waving mini-flags) Yay. >They only had enough time to go through the >battle arena before it was time for >breakfast. >"This place is huge!" Ryoko stared at the >people training and fighting from a balcony >that over looked the arena. >"Why is it so big?" BEN: Why, I always have Viagra with my breakfast.doesn't everyone? VINCENT: Must you do this? BEN: Yes. >"We Inovescians think it is very important >to be in the best physical shape possible. >This battle arena is so large because it had >to have enough room for the 176 occupants on >this ship to train. This is also where they >meet their commanding officers for >instructions or specific duties. We also >hold are parties and celebrations here." >"Celebrations?" VINCENT: (Yosuke) Yes, a gathering of people to commemorate a certain event. >Ryoko didn't think that a >warrior race would have parties or >celebrations. DUO: Yes, God forbid they actually have fun. >"Yes, after all the 176 occupants that run >the Firesea *do* have birthdays" ALL: (Gasping) No! You're kidding?! >he flashed >her a smile. VINCENT: Stop.the.smiling. >Ryoko face faulted "I thought that a >celebration would be after winning a battle >or something like that for your people." BEN: (Yosuke) We also enjoy keggers. >"No we do not celebrate killing people, DUO: (Yosuke) Unless it was someone we really didn't like. >even if they are evil or cold blooded >killers." His face was really serious VINCENT: But he still grinned like a moron. >as he >looked at her. >"I want you to return me to Earth!" Ryoko's >face turned serious also. >"No I won't return you to a world of pain >and suffering." BEN: (Ryoko) How about a world of poverty and misery? VINCENT: (Yosuke) Well.in that case. >Ryoko picked him up by the front of his >shirt and held him over the balcony. "Now, I >want you to return me to my home!!" DUO: (Yosuke) *Hack* Say please! >Just then a man with long black braided >hair walked up to them and raised his plasma >rifle to her Ryoko's head. VINCENT: Her Ryoko's head? BEN: Relax, just take out the "her" or "Ryoko's" (Vincent emits a low growl but remains calm.) >"Hitomo no, its okay don't!!" DUO: (Yosuke) I like being strangled! >Yosuke yelled >in fear that he might shoot her. BEN: Or that by shooting her, she would drop him to his death. >Ryoko recognized him and just dropped the >prince on the floor of the balcony. She >ignited VINCENT: (To Ben and Duo) Don't do it. BEN AND DUO: Oh poo. >her light sword and lunged at him >but before she could move her arm that held >her light sword to strike a strong hand >grabbed her arm. BEN: (Yosuke) Thank you, Thing. >She looked back to see >Yosuke holding her arm and shaking his head DUO: (Yosuke) Violence isn't the answer. VINCENT: (Ryoko as Squall) Whatever. >while he looked down at the ground. >"Don't be mad at him for taking you. I'm >the one that ordered them to, so be mad at >me." He was still looking down at the >ground. BEN: Yosuke has to sort out his differences with the ground before he can concentrate on Ryoko. >"I'm so sorry, but it was the only >way to get you on my ship. I *am* truly >sorry." DUO: (Ryoko) Did you ever think about.oh, I dunno.ASKING ME FIRST?! >His voice was sad VINCENT: But that didn't keep him from smiling. >as his aqua blue >eyes looked into her own. BEN: (Yosuke) Maybe if I hypnotize her. >She narrowed her eyes as anger filled >blazed in them "I still want to leave!" >"But I won the fight and you agreed to the >terms, so you have no choice." >"I don't really care!" DUO: (Yosuke) Oh.well, off you go, then! >"So you are not as honorary as I thought." ALL: Duh. >His voice turned a tiny bit sad. VINCENT: Wasn't he already sad? >"I am too!!" she yelled at him. BEN: Oooo, good one! >"Then you will you stay." A smirk appeared >on his face. ALL: Not again! >"Only till my friends come for me." >"That's fine." He knew that they could beat >her friends real easily. VINCENT: Or just plain easily. >"Hitomo what did you want to say to me >before this started?" Hitomo bowed his head ALL: On one knee. >and spoke as few words possible "That >breakfast is ready Your Highness." DUO: Does anyone really have an appetite after all this? >"O.K. lets go." Yosuke decided he didn't >want to be around the balcony anymore. BEN: He went to the stairs instead. >Hitomo followed Yosuke, Ryoko, and Zabta >and Zebta who had been summoned to join >them, to the dining hall. >**** DUO: A very flat seagull? VINCENT: I think it's obvious that we've seen too many of these stars. >After breakfast the day had passed rather >quietly except for dinner. Ayeka had caused >some problems between her and Sasami about >having the same food. BEN: Umm.what? >Food had flown at the >dinner table as the princesses battled with >their force fields. DUO: So that was the big reason the author gave Sasami a force field? VINCENT: I suppose she had to have someone to fight with. >Eventually the fight >broke off and they all went to sleep. BEN: The incredible drama. >Mihoshi had dozed off the minute her head >hit the pillow. VINCENT: The pillow was full of bricks and she died immediately. >Kiyone followed shortly >after because no one had slept more than >four hours the last night. BEN: Due to what? >Ayeka and Sasami >fell asleep quickly too because of their >exhausting fight at dinner. DUO: How exactly do you "fight" with defensive things like force fields? BEN: Who knows.? VINCENT: Who cares? >Ryo-Ohki had a >little more difficulty knowing that Ryoko >was in trouble. In the men's sleep room >Noboyuki had the same trouble knowing a >person that was practically family was in >trouble BEN: So he went to the women's sleeping room seeking "comfort." VINCENT: Disgusting. BEN: So is Nobuyuki. >before he fell asleep. >Tenchi, Washu, and Yosho were the only ones >that didn't go to sleep at all. They were >all huddled around her holo-top (Ben is about to speak up, but again decides against it.) >thinking of >a way to get Ryoko out of the huge ship she >was aboard. Through the records of the >Inovescian spaceships that Washu hacked into >they found out its name, the Firesea. It was >a huge spaceship with an entire battle arena >in the center. Washu stared in awe at the >blueprints on the screen of her holo-top. >"It's amazing! BEN: My top has blueprints for a huge spaceship! (Duo chuckles while Vincent shakes his head.) >I've. VINCENT: A truly moving sentence. >I've never seen >anything like it before! In all my time I >spent at Kataraka they never made anything >like this." (Everyone yawns.) >"Washu, what is Kataraka?" DUO: (Washu) It's just some word I made up. >Tenchi looked at >her with a puzzled look. BEN: A Puzzled Look also couldn't sleep. >Realizing what she had said a hesitant look >washed over her face. VINCENT: She drowned shortly thereafter. BEN: Don't worry, Vincent, it's almost over. DUO: YES!!! >"I think that's enough >for now, we should get some sleep." DUO: (Washu) Yep, it's breakfast time, time for bed! >Washu >deactivated her holo-top (Ben chuckles.) VINCENT: Stop that. >and walked to the >room where all the girls were sleeping. >Just as Tenchi was going to talk to her >Yosho's hand rested on his shoulder. VINCENT: It needed a nap after the last boring scene. >"She >needs some time to herself. I think it >brought up painful memories for her." DUO: (Tenchi) I don't care! I was going to bed! >Tenchi >nodded before going to the room where >Noboyuki was sleeping. Yosho's eyes watched >Washu go in to the girl's room BEN: While the rest of him went to bed. >before >following Tenchi. >Washu shut the door and leaned against it. >Tears flooded her eyes and slid down her >face. More and more came BEN: When did the orgy start? VINCENT: (To himself) It's almost over.it's almost over. >and she was unable >to stop them. Washu hit her pillow crying >uncontrollably, she kept quiet enough so it >wouldn't wake the girls up and they would >see her crying like a baby. DUO: Who really cares? You already look like a twelve year old! >"Kitsuko.Kitsuko.where are you? DUO: (Kitsuko) Hey, Washu, I'm right here. >Why did I >leave?" BEN: Don't ask us. >To be continued.. VINCENT: It's over! (He starts to get up.) BEN: (Ben sets him back down.) Not quite yet. VINCENT: . >Authors Notes: >You'll definitely hate me for that. VINCENT: Yes, I did despise all the grammar. >Well >school just started so the next one DUO: Next one? BEN: Stay under control, Duo. >won't be >out for about a month. This is a preview for >'We Don't Need Tenchi (anymore) DUO: When your Tenchi has lost it's use, simply throw it in the disposal and buy another in one of our new many designer colors. >Part 2': >-Blood poured from the hole in her chest >the staff had made. She lay there gasping >for breath. BEN: When marriage counseling goes horribly wrong. >She turned her head to the side. >A river of blood flowed from her mouth and >onto the cool cement floor DUO: (Woman) That floor is rad! >that lay >underneath her. Her lungs stopped gasping >for air VINCENT: And so did she. >and her body went cold and stiff. >She was dead. BEN: Maybe she got really tired. VINCENT: Maybe she's dead. BEN: Yeah.okay. >- DUO: Hyphen! Find your way home! >That will keep ya thinking won't it? ALL: Not really. >Who >dies? BEN: I'm gonna guess that that woman dies. >HA like I'm gonna tell you. DUO: Oooo, he's good. VINCENT: Are you praising him? DUO: Nope, sarcasm. VINCENT: Good. >I know, >I'm evil, no wonder I love Deathscythe so >much, DUO: Hey! Kickass! >Mawahahaha! (Everyone laughs similarly as they exit the theater, happy that the fic is over.) ------------------------------------------------------------------ ----- Carnage's happy face appears on the monitor. "So.what'd you think?" asks the serial killer happily. Ben goes first. "It was alright. It seemed a little rushed in some places, but it was tolerable." Duo is next. "It wasn't too bad, but that guy Yosuke smiled way too much, and all Tenchi really did was be a jerk and be panicky." Vincent concludes the review. "Far too many grammatical problems.but I survived. Can we leave this ship now?" Carnage laughs. "Leave? Leave? This is only your first fic! There will be others, my friends." He looks at Vincent and Duo. "Soon you must learn of the plaque known as."lemons." With that said, Carnage's image vanishes off the screen, leaving Vincent and Duo somewhat worried. "Ben," says Duo, ".what's a lemon?" Ben only sighs and sits down in a chair. "You'll see it when it happens." Ben promptly went to sleep. Vincent looks a little concerned. "I don't like the look of this." He goes to a window and stares out to space. Duo simply stares at nothing. "I gotta get out of here." he says. ------------------------------------------------------------------ ----- Well, that's it! How'd you like it? Please please please send me your feedback. I'd really like to know what you all thought of this MST. If I get positive comments, I'll make another. Well, I hope you enjoyed this. Until next time! BENJAMIN LYNX