Trista: Sorry bout this but it has to be done. We don't own any of the Tenchi Muyo! characters they belong to Poneer, Wufei technicaly belongs to Sunrise, though he sold himself to Joe at the last poker game, and Joe Merchant belongs to Harcourt Brace Jovanovich. Once again at fifty-one-fifty Altar rd. caffeine overrides basic necessity as yet again a group of characters captured by the maniacal fanfic writer, Jaiq da Goose, are screening one of Jaiq's lost fanfic adventures. Joe has brought together some of Jaiq's less loyal subjects to view his shame. Thread: So what's this all about? Joe: The can says "Self Insertion attemp date 11/8/00". Luna: Three days after his first fic was posted, two days after her captured us. Joe: Yes, and if remember, he was kind of wierd the week after that. Wufei: Of course he was weird, he's always weird! Trista: Yeah, but he got weirder in the second week, that's when he started his pursuit of the winged one. (points to Luna) Joe: It's also the week he learned that you need technitions to opperate the forth wall. Luna: So what happens in this, Joe? How's this supposed to explain Jaiq's weirdness anyway? Joe: I can't tell you, it's a surprise. Thread(looking at can): "Self Insertion", he's not going to do anything we wouldn't do is he? Wufei: Like mixing egg nog and coffee? Thread(looking sick): Don't say "egg nog"! (See "My.S.T. of MY WORST TENCHI FIC"--Trista) Luna: I think he means dishonorable things. Joe: Nope! Not for lack of want, he just doesn't get a chance. (Joe turns on projector) >Jaiq: OKay! Survailance unit working. Doc! Is the forth wall open yet? >Doc: Almost! Still plenty of time to get Washu or Howard to work this damned >thing! >Jaiq: No Fucking Way! I don't Washu guilt trippin' on how she don't want me >anywhere near her daughter or Sasami. I ain't no damn pedophile! >Doc: It's ready, I think. (Aside to Joe) This is going to be bad. >Joe: What's worse is we're gonna end up doing all the work on this cause he >wants to keep it so quite. >(screen goes fuzzy then opens in the ladies' bathroom) >Mihoshi looks around and thought to herself, "How'd I get in here, oh well, close >enough". Trista: You probably walked in Mihoshi. >She looked around to see who else was there. See could see all the other girls. >All of them! Nothing was hidden behind clothing. Ayeka, Ryoko, Kiyone, Washu, >Sasami, "where was Mihoshi?", she thought. Thread: Why is she asking that? Joe(giggling): I can't tell you that! >Mihoshi leaned over and blew in Ayeka's ear, a little foreplay before everyone else >leaves! Wufei(holding the can): This says 'self insertion', where is Jaiq? Joe(giggling louder): I can't tell you that! >Ayeka turned to Mihoshi and said quite angrly, "MISS MIHOSHI, WHAT DO YOU >THINK YOU ARE DOING"?!! >"What?", Mihoshi gasped as she jumped naked out of the pool and dashed to the >nearest mirror. When she looked in the mirror she saw her shaply body, her big >breasts, her bouncy light blonde hair, and her blue eyes with yellow around the >pupils, before she faints. All look at Joe, who is laughing uncontrolably Trista: Tell me your kiding! Luna: I thought she looked weird. Thread: Mihoshi doesn't have pupils...Oh! Wufei has joined Joe's hysterics """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """""""""""""""""" >A while later in Washu's lab, Mihoshi wakes up but can't move. Washu leans over >her with a small falshlight and shines it in her eyes. "Alright, she's awake, she's >not hurt, there's no concussion! So now will you all get out of my lab!", she said >pushing everyone out the door. Now that everyone was out of the way, she could >ask what was realy on her mind. Trista(as Washu): So is it true what they write about you and Kiyone? You're not the right girl for her. >Mihoshi looked at Washu as she leaned over her again. She'd seen thousands of >different dimentions and hundreds of different Washus, why did this one seem so >familiar? >Then Washu started hinting as to why. "Mihoshi, who are Doc and Joe"? >"What do you mean"? >"You said something about Doc and Joe getting it wrong". >"Um, I don't know". Luna(as Daria): Can't accuse him of lying there. >Washu grinned evily. "You think you're so slick don't you? Thread(as Jaiq/Mihoshi): Is that a trick question? >"Your brain scan doesn't line up with Mihoshi's". Wufei(as Washu): It says you have one! Joe(punches Wufei in the stomach): Besides, that would eliminate Jaiq as well. Thread: He's got a point. >"In fifty-one-Fifty you hold all the cards, yuo don't even let me turn that Thread jerk int a kappa! But here in this dimemention, in my lab I am the master"! Trista: She knows to! Sweet! Joe: I'll call it an accident, but only out of modesty. VIVA la RESISTANCE! Thread: What does she have againt me anyaway? Luna: Well for starters, You're an obnocsious Punk. >Just then, a giant metal tentically machine decended from the ceiling. Mihoshi started to squirm, realizing for the first time in his(remember it's realy Jaiq--Trista) life that having boobs could be this painful. (Luna and Trsta fold thier arms and wince) Wufei: What? What's the matter? (Luna dumps her hot coffee in Wufei's lap) Joe: Luna, the resistance needs solidarity. Luna: What's done is done. (Wufei is hopping around the screening room screaming and fanning his pants) """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """""""""""""""""" >It took some creative wiggling, and a lot of hurt, but Mihoshi managed the >imposible, she escaped Washu's lab. When she leaned back against the door in >the lab coat she stole from Washu, she soon felt she had gone from the frying pan >and into the flame. Thread: I can't think of any thing worse than being trapped in Wash's lab. Wufei: You say that like you've been there before. Thread: She is our chief technition. >As Kiyone tarts screaming at her, "Mihoshi, we're supposed to be on patrol in fifteen minutes! What happend to your eyes, are you wearing contact lenses"? Trista: Well at least he can't do any worse on patrol the she would. >Mihoshi searched through the pockets of the lab coat, chancing upon a pair of >reflective sunglasses. Joe(adjusting his sunglasses): Figured we'd give him a little break. >She quickly put them on and said, "What do you mean, Kiyone"? >"Nevermind, let's go!", with that Kiyone yanked her partnerthrough the dimentional tunnel and in to thier apartment so they could change into thier uniforms. Mihoshi was to busy to watch Kiyone getting dressed. Luna(english accent): Always the gentalman, against her will. >Or to notice that Kiyone was watching her. Trista: So this is where those freaks get thier ideas then right? Joe: No, not eveyone is on the interdimentional web. Most of that is immagination. Wufei: And what a dangerous nation. >After changing and reaching the Yagami, Mihoshi and Kiyone found the same old >boring solar system. Mihoshi was steatched out for a long satisfieing nap when >Kiyone burst into the cockpit wearing a cowboy hat, a babdana around her neck, a >pair of chaps, and one of Washu's little strap on naughties. "Mihoshi, do you >know what time it i......." (The projector stops and Joe winds forward through the fic) Joe: We don't need to see that. Wufei and Thread: YES WE DO! Joe: Dude, that's our boss, Jaiq! Wufei and Thread: Um, NEVERMIND! Trista: Men! Luna: Not those two. (joe reaches the point where he would have to give up on censorship for the good of the cause) >Mihoshi was on her hands and knees being ridden by Kiyone, when the pink sheets under herturned into a blue light. Mihoshi found her self staring into the bearded face she once called her own, with those vacant straight blue eyes. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: >When Jaiq came to he was pissed. >Jaiq: What was that! >Doc(trying not to laugh): An accident, we told you we're nt technitions! >Jaiq: Noone is to see this you hear me! Noone! >Joe(also trying not to laugh): You got it! Detective! >(Joe and Doc are laughing there heads off jaiq is saying something as he is >leaving, Joe turn into Lara Croft) >Joe: Dude, I think he's serious. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Trista: Well, that's the way that evening went. Jaiq would probably have me terminated if he knew I was writing this. But as Joe said, VIVA LA RESISTANCE. Maybe with your help we can get this sick fuck off the internet. I can take your responses at goose20693@aol.com, also I'll try to get a regular version for easier My.S.T.ing. Jaiq: Trista, what are you doing? Trista: Sideline Fic. Jaiq: I didn't know we had one this time. Trista: Yeah, you told Joe to dig something up, so we slapped this together and let you rest. Jaiq: How thoughtful. (he walks away) Trista:Please help.