**************************************************************************
     Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with Tenchi Muyo, Universe or
Tokyo, nor do I have any afilliation with the MST 3000 team. I do not work
for Best Brains, Pioneer, or AIC. And any type of court action against me 
would lead to you getting a rolled up wad of gum and a piece of lint!
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(A group of guys walk out onto a stage and look out to the audience (you 
guys who are reading this.))

The Group: (begin singing) In the not too distant future, some where under
the earth! (lalala) Mike Nelson and his robot pals crash landed on the 
surface! (lalala) They buried themselves under the ground, for no apparent
reason!
     While there they found a scientist, doing brain transplants! 
(lalala) The doctor saw Mike and his Pals, and had a brain storm!
The Scientist: I'll put their wit in cartoons, the ones from anime! 
(lalala) I'll subject them to these fan fictions to see who'll survive!

Anime Rollcall!

Vegeta: What the hell?
Heero: Do what now?
Spike Spegal: Huh?
Gooooooookouuuuuuu: I'm hungry!

The Group: Now you're wondering how they eat or breath, and other science 
facts! (lalala) Just repeat to yourself they're just cartoons, I should 
really just relax! Cause its Mystery Science Theater 200! (Guitar riff)

GOKOU: Hey everyone, glad to see you here in the good old Cave of Solitude,
as you can see I'm kinda the only one here right now and its got me a little
worried. The others left a while ago looking for Vegeta's teddy bear.
VEGETA: (From off camera) Shut up Kakarrot!
GOKOU: Anyway, I'm just kinda waiting here to see what the good doctor has
in store for us today. (Spike and Heero walk in) Hey guys, any luck?
SPIKE: If that ass cries one more time about that damn bear I'm blowing 
myself to bits.
HEERO: I can help you with that.
SPIKE: No thanks Gundam boy.
(A light goes off and Gokou pushes a button in front of him. On the screen
the great Super Saiya-jin 4 Trunks stands and looks at the three of them.)
TRUNKS: The hell happend to Vegeta?
GOKOU: He's looking for his teddy bear
VEGETA: (From off camera) MR. STUFFIKINS! COME BACK!
TRUNKS: Anyway, I have a real goodie here for you today, its a lemon called
Tenchi's Insanity Chapter 5: Tenchi's Most Hated!
SPIKE: What about the other four chapters?
TRUNKS: You'll get five and like it!
HEERO: Hey doc! I can't look at this remember, I'm 15!
TRUNKS: Maybe we do have a problem here, alright Spike, Gokou, Vegeta! Get
in the theater! NOW! 
(Alarms go off as Gokou and Spike run off)

(In the theater the Disclaimer runs as Gokou and Spike walk in.)
I am a fan of the Tenchi Muyo series. I do not own any of the 
characters. I write only for fun.

GOKOU: I wonder where Vegeta is.
SPIKE: I dunno, but Dr. Trunks is gonna be pissed off if he doesn't show.
This is a dark fan fiction. Please stop reading if you don't like gory 
and/or if you're under 18 years old. 

(Gokou gets up and Spike stops him)
GOKOU: Man
(Vegeta walks in crying)
SPIKE: Find your teddy?
VEGETA: No... So what is this.

Tenchi's Insanity

Chapter 5: Tenchi's Most Hated

VEGETA: Sounds fun, what about the other 4?
GOKOU and SPIKE: Don't ask.

It is nighttime
GOKOU: It is?
at the Masaki home. Tenchi was looking at the picture. Three girls were 
missing because he cut them out.
SPIKE: (In Marlon Brando voice) Cause he's in the mafia, nowhutimsayin?
He was proud of what he did and felt saner. As he lay in his bed, he was 
thinking.
GOKOU: Wow, thinking.
VEGETA: You should try it some time Kakarrot.
Wondering you'll be the next to go.
GOKOU: Oh crap! I'm gonna be rubbed out!
SPIKE: (In the Brando voice again) He's gonna let you try on a pair of 
cement Stalletos.
He hated them all. But the next kill would be on he hates the most. The only
question was who? In his mind he decided on Ryoko or Ayeka.
VEGETA: Not like he's gonna decide anywhere else.
Who did he hate more? It was a hard question and one he had to sleep on. 
Because in the morning. One of the gils will be asleep. Permanently.

At the girls' home, they were preparing to go to bed. Washu was doing
some last minute work. She was checking on the girls and Tenchi. But 
she only could lock on the girls in her house.
SPIKE: And she's seen all of them naked before so...
"That's odd," Washu said. "I can't  see what Tenchi or Sasami are 
doing."
VEGETA: Thats just wrong. Watching child pornography, geez!
She tried harder.
GOKOU: But her parents changed the Parental Access code!
But the harder she tried, the more difficult it became. Washu knew 
what it was. She was just tired. She turned off the computer and walked
to bed. In the morning, she decided to work harder.
In the next room of Mihoshi.
VEGETA: Where do drinks flow freely?
GOKOU: The room of Mihoshi.
SPIKE: Thats right guys, and come down next Thursday where the room of
Mihoshi will be hosting a wet T-shirt contest, and come at Happy Hour 
where its no clothes day! Only at...
GOKOU and VEGETA: THE ROOM OF MIHOSHI!
She had had bottles littering her room. The sent of alcohol fill the room.
VEGETA: The what of alcohol?
Clearly she was drunk. Very drunk. She was babbaling in a haft daze.
GOKOU: So was the writer.
She was also completely naked.
SPIKE, VEGETA, and GOKOU: YES!!!
"Oh Tenchi. Fuck me.
SPIKE: (As Tenchi) Okay.
Fuck me now," Mihoshi ranted. "Oral. Anal. Tit. Normal. I don't care.
I want you to fuck me. Fuck me as if you never fucked before,"
She was spinning wildly. At is until she stepped on a bottle and fell
on her bed. She then sat up, through up, and went to sleep in to own
vomit.
GOKOU: Then we not talk right and mispll thngs.
SPIKE: Where did the vomit come from?
GOKOU: Where it said "through up"
VEGETA: I thought it was threw.
GOKOU: It is.
Kiyone was down the hall. She was brushing her hair before bed. As she
combed, she thought of Tenchi.
"Oh Tenchi. My light. My love. My last hopw of sanity," Kiyone said.
VEGETA: The writer really loves periods.
"You are the only one to free me from this hell. You can free me from the 
devil named Mihoshi. You are mine."
Ayeka was at her bedside. She was in deep pray.
"Oh my Gods," Ayeka said. 
VEGETA: Gods?
"Please take mercy to my little sister. She is young and bold. I know she
is a Jurain to the soul. but I hope that she isn't corrupted beyond the 
point of no return. If you do that much. I wil be grateful. Thank You."
SPIKE: Did she ask them to do something, or did I miss it?
(Gokou shrugs)
Ryoko was taking a nighttime swim.
GOKOU, SPIKE, and VEGETA: YES!
She was skinny-dipping.
GOKOU, SPIKE, and VEGETA: WHOOOOO HOOOOO!!
She felt the ice-cold water glide over her pussy and firm, round tits.
GOKOU: Before finally realising the rest of her body was numb.
She felt
VEGETA: Herself.
peaceful and calm. She dived under the and exited the water in a splash.
GOKOU: Because she's Flipper! Flipper!
On shore, Ryoko shook off the water like an animal.
GOKOU: Because she's Lassie! Lassie!
VEGETA and SPIKE: Shut up!
She floated to her room thinking.
VEGETA: Wait, my room! (Gets up and runs out of the theater) Hang on Mr. 
Stuffikins, I'm coming!
'That was a fun dip,' Ryoko thought. 'But your touch, Tenchi, will make
me feel so much to good. And then you'll pick me.
GOKOU: Then you'll pick your nose!
(Spike gets up and leaves followed by Gokou.) 
It'll be something that I'll rub into Ayeka's face forever.'

(Back in the cave, Gokou, Heero, and Spike are watching things being thrown
out of Vegeta's room. Gokou notices the camera and smiles.)

GOKOU: Hey, Vegeta's looking for his bear again, it seems it may be in his
room. But I think if he's gonna forget something it'd be hidden somewhere
other than his room. 
SPIKE: I think he's lying about the whole thing and is just trying to get
some attention.
HEERO: I just think he's a cry baby
VEGETA: (From off camera) Shut up all of you!
GOKOU: Anyway (A light goes off) Oh, we got a call.
(Dr. Trunks appears on the screen and looks at everyone.)
TRUNKS: Is Vegeta still looking for that stupid teddy bear?
SPIKE: You guessed it Doc.
TRUNKS: That puss. Anyway, how do you like the movie?
GOKOU: I'm waiting to see who he picks, I have a nice line of Washu jokes
ready!
TRUNKS: Too bad, because Washu doesn't get picked!
GOKOU: How do you know?
TRUNKS: Because at the begining of the fic, he says its a choice between 
Ryoko and Ayeka, dumbass.
GOKOU: Oh yeah!
VEGETA: (Off camera again) Goddamnit! 
TRUNKS: Tell that asswipe to give up! It's useless for him to keep going.
VEGETA: (Begins crying off camera)
SPIKE: (Pulls a gun on himself) I'm gonna do it!
TRUNKS: (Zaps the gun out of Spike's hand) I'm tired of this bickering,
you're all acting like a bunch of fat babies. Now back in the theater!
(The alarm goes off and they all run away.)

(Back in the theater Gokou, Spike and Vegeta sit down.)
GOKOU: Man Vegeta, you gotta calm down, Doctor T will fry your ass.
SPIKE: Yeah, and the next lemon that comes around it'll only be me
and Gokou seeing as to how that stupid Gundam kid is too young.
VEGETA: (Sniffling) I want Mr. Stuffikins.
SPIKE: Get over it.
The next day came and the girls were waiting for Tenchi. They had
enough food to least since Sasami weren't there anymore. As they
waited, they decided to make innocent conversation.
GOKOU: (As Washu) So which of us is the most fuckable?
"So, who do you think is next?" Washu asked. "But the answer 
obvious.
SPIKE: It's Coca Puffs.
It has to be me."
"Not to sound rude," Mihoshi said. "But I have the body. So I'm next."
"I have a hot body too," Kiyone said. "I have as much chance as you
do."
'Shit for brains.' Kiyone thought.
"I love to say this," Ryoko said. "But I'll be next. I am the hottest
of the group."
GOKOU: Here here!
"I think Lord Tenchi would rather pick a princess insted of a pirate,"
Ayeka said. "Espsecial if the princess is as soft skinned, silky haired,
and firm breasted as me, verses a scaly skinned, rough haired, flat
breasted, asshole, bitch space whore of a pirate namely you."
VEGETA: Goddamn!
SPIKE: Mother?
"You better take that back." Ryoko said with a mega glare.
VEGETA: (As Ryoko) Or I'll become a scaly skinned, rough haired, flat 
breast...oh.
"I will certainly not, slut." Ayeka said glaring back.
"You're the slut." Ryoko shot back.
"YOU ARE!" Ayeka said.
"YOU ARE!" Ryoko said.
GOKOU: You're a slut Spike.
SPIKE: Point being?
The two glared at each other very violently. They would have gone into
a catfight is Tenchi didn't knock.
VEGETA: It's called an editor, look into it!
"I think I'll get it," Mihoshi said scared.
She ran to the door and opened it for Tenchi.
"Oh thank God you're here," Mihoshi said. Ayeka and Ryoko are about to 
go it this tooth and nail."
GOKOU: So pull up a chair and get some popcorn.
"Oh?" Tenchi said.
"But now you can help me stop them." Mihoshi said.
"I have a better idea." Tenchi said with an evil smile.
Lucky for Tenchi Mihoshi was too stupid to see it. They ran in, as
Ayeka and Ryoko were just about to fight. The two stopped as they saw
Tenchi.
"Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said. "I'm so glad to see you."
"And I you." Tenchi falsly said.
"Time for you to pick you next and best sex partner." Ryoko said.
"I hope you pick soon," Washu said. "I hate to get in the middle of
Ayeka and Ryoko's catfight."
"Speaking of cats," Kiyone said. "I haven't seen Ryo-Ohki around 
lately."
She's with Sasami." Tenchi lied.
VEGETA: Did Tenchi just lie?
SPIKE: I don't know, it was too much of a blunt statement to be certain.
"Oh. Good." Kiyone said.
"So," Ryoko said. "Who's next?"
VEGETA: Ryoko turned into Goldburg.
"It'll be ether Ayeka or Ryoko," Tenchi said. "It was a hard choice."
The girls were shocked, mad and confused.
GOKOU: And hungry.
"Me or Ryoko?" Ayeka said.
"Me or Ayeka? Ryoko said.
Tenchi nodded.
(Gokou, Spike and Vegeta all nod at each other.)
"It's a hard, hard choice." Tenchi said.
SPIKE: I smell a penis joke!
"Not as hard as your prick when you see this perfect body." Ryoko said.
SPIKE: Bingo!
"You're the prick." Ayeka mumbled.
Tenchi giggled softly. He liked Ayeka's humor.
"Thanks to Mihoshi's timing," Tenchi said. "I know how to pick my next
girl."
"How?" the girls asked.
"A catfight." Tenchi said.
"WHAT?" the girl yelled.
VEGETA: Which girl?
"Ayeka versus Ryoko," Tenchi said. "Princess verses pirate. Good 
versus evil."
'A big bitch versus a big slut.' Tenchi added in thought.
GOKOU: And who among us didn't think that immediatly?
"Oh," Ryoko said. "Okay. Sounds like fun."
"If you like losing." Ayeka said.
"But it has to be good." Tenchi said.
"Meaning?" Mihoshi said.
SPIKE: Why does Mihoshi wanna know?
"I want a fight with you two fighting at the max." Tenchi said.
"Meaning? Mihoshi repeated.
'Bonehead.' Kiyone said.
VEGETA: Meaning?
"I mean I want to see you too fight as you never fought before." Tenchi
said.
VEGETA: Meaning?
SPIKE: Shut up!
"And the prize is?" Ayeka said.
GOKOU: Tell 'em what they'll win Johnny!
"To the winner,"
GOKOU: A new car!
Tenchi said. "An instant healing and me. To the loser,
GOKOU: The boobie prize!
SPIKE That could be taken the wrong way.
she will heal slowly. And be ready for the next day."
Ayeka and Ryoko shared a glance. Even though they hate each other's
guts. They wondered if this was wise. But they looked at Tenchi.
With the sent of victory in the air, 
GOKOU: (Sniffs the air) That's victory?
SPIKE: It's a new fragrence
how could they say no.
VEGETA: Like this "No."
"Okay," Ayeka said. "I'll do it. If it means one on Ryoko."
GOKOU: One what?
"In that case," Ryoko said "I'm in."
SPIKE: Deep shit!
"I'll meet you two outside in twenty minutes." Tenchi said leaving.
That didn't leave much time. But Tenchi knew one thing. It was 
twenty minutes longer for them to live.

After the twenty minutes were up, Tenchi and the girls met outside.
Ayeka walked into view from the left and Ryoko floated from the right.
As they met, Tenchi waved at them.
"Okay," Tenchi said. "Ayeka and Ryoko listen up. The rule is to beat
your foe to a bloody pulp. Bite, scratch maim, or gore each other.
GOKOU: Gore?
VEGETA: Al Gore?
SPIKE: That means bore your opponent with the most monotonus voice
you can have.
VEGETA: Oh.
Everything goes but death,"
'That's my job,' Tenchi thought.
"One my signal," Tenchi said raising his hand.
Ayeka growled. Ryoko snarled.
SPIKE: Mihoshi farted.
"Fight."
Ayeka was ready as Ryoko rushed into her. Ryoko faded out and took
Ayeka off guard.
"Where did she go?" Ayeka said.
Ryoko faded in behind Ayeka. Ayeka turned and got a foot to the nose.
It was a powerful blow. Ayeka sent into the floor with her nose
dripping with blood. It was a hard blow indeed.
GOKOU: Such a hard blow we had to say blow again...blow.
Ayeka got up and charged.She didn't care about her nose. Because it
was the least of her problems. She got in close to Ryoko with a fury of 
swipes. Many missed but a few struck skin. Ryoko laughed. But it was a 
laugh too soon. She raise her left arm. But it started to gush blood.
In moments her arm went numb.
VEGETA: Just like my ass, ow! (Adjusts in his seat)
The pain of the numbness shocked Ryoko. Then she decided to land. But
as she landed, her left leg started to act up. The same happend to
her leg, as did her arm.
GOKOU: I think we figured that much out.
She had a sharp pain and it went numb. Ryoko was shocked to say the 
very least. But mostly she was mad.
"How dare you," Ryoko said. "How dare you paralyze my left?"
"When I'm done with you," Ayeka said. "Nothing but you head will be
alive."
"It won't be needed," Tenchi said. "If you can numb her right arm and
leg. It'll be you've won."
Ayeka was overjoyed. Ryoko wasn't.
SPIKE: And neither am I
'I've got to end this. Quickly.' Ryoko thought.
GOKOU: Thank you!
VEGETA: Do it!
"I don't care if I don't get Tenchi today," Ryoko said.
The other girls were shocked and surprised.
"But I'll never let you fuck him before me." Ryoko said.
She summoned up all to power. The ground started to shake because of 
this.
"Now DIE!" Ryoko yelled firing.
Ryoko's blast was so big and powerful, all the ground below it moved
out of the way.
VEGETA: The grass didn't wanna get singed.
It headed to Ayeka it an amazing speed and force. Ayeka stood her 
ground and wept.
"I'm sorry. Lord Tenchi." Aykea's final saying.
SPIKE: But probably not.
But unknown to the girls, Tenchi fired a strong but too strong force 
field around Ayeka. The blast hit her and it hurt a hell of a lot.
But she lived. Ryoko fainted as Ayeka was caught in an explosion. The
explosion was extreamly strong. 
GOKOU: It burned a lot. And was very hurting.
It knocked over the girls but Tenchi used a force field to protect 
himself. As the girls came too, Ryoko was fainted with very little 
feeling in her body. You could tell with the spirals in her eyes.
GOKOU: (Looks over to Vegeta) Hit me real hard.
VEGETA: Okay (Punches Gokou hard, knocking him out) Hey, he has the 
spirals too.
Ayeka was down too. She was losing a lot of blood from most parts of 
her broken body.
"The winner: Ayeka." Tenchi said.
"Ah, fuck." Washu said.
"Crap." Kiyone said.
"I knew it. I knew it," Mihoshi said. "Pay up, sucka."
(Gokou struggles to get up and sit back in his chair.)
GOKOU: Did I get the spirals?
VEGETA: No, I think I should punch you again.
GOKOU: Gimme a sec. Who won?
SPIKE: Ayeka did.
GOKOU: Damn it.
Washu and Kiyone gave Mihoshi $50 each because of a small bet. A bet
to see who'll win. Mihoshi's best friend: Dumb ass luck.
SPIKE: My best frined: A loaded gun.
GOKOU: My best friend: A big ass steak.
VEGETA: My best friend: None of you guys.
SPIKE and GOKOU: Asshole.
Tenchi ran to the semi live Ayeka.
"Did. Did I win?" Ayeka muttered out.
"Yes you did." Tenchi said.
"Oh good." Ayeka said.
Tenchi smiles as Ayeka passed out.
GOKOU: And I'm smiling cause I gotta get outta here.
(Gets up and Spike and Vegeta follow)

HEERO: So, how's the movie Gokou?
GOKOU: Well, we haven't seen any sexual happenings yet.
HEERO: I see, so is it good?
GOKOU: Dr. Trunks sent it, do you think its good?
VEGETA: (Off camera) Damn it all to hell!
SPIKE: (Walking in) Shit!
GOKOU: What happend in there?
SPIKE: Vegeta got his head stuck in the toilet.
VEGETA: It smells! And it's wet!
(A light goes off)
GOKOU: And we got a call from Dr. T.
(Trunks appears on the screen)
TRUNKS: Lemme guess, Vegeta was looking for his teddy bear, and still
hasn't found. And now he's stuck somewhere.
SPIKE: Yeah, he traped himself in the toilet.
TRUNKS: Well, I think I may have gotten my decision on who to get rid of
first. Remember the surviving members must stay here and welcome the next
arriving member. 
HEERO: Well, who survives?
TRUNKS: You'll have to wait.
GOKOU: Come on, it's Vegeta isn't it?
TRUNKS: No, I can tell you that.
GOKOU: Damn it.
(Vegeta walks out with his hair wet.)
VEGETA: (Crying) I've messed up my hair! It's all wet now.
TRUNKS: Suck it up you baby! And get back in that theater!
(The alarm sounds and they scatter.)

(In the theater Spike, Gokou, and Vegeta walk in and sit down.)
Moments later, Ayeka awakend. She was dazed and very confused.
Seconds seemed like days. As she awoke she felt a draft.
"Oh my." she looked down. "OH MY GODS! I'M NAKED!"
SPIKE, VEGETA AND GOKOU: THANK YOU GODS!
"Yep. Easier to clean and heal your wounds." Tenchi said walking in.
Ayeka on instinct jumped behind the sofa to hide to private parts.
SPIKE: She didn't want him to know he was watching that movie.
Of course Tenchi was also behind the sofa.
GOKOU: Does he have an instant transmition also?
He lightly tipped Ayeka on the shoulder.
VEGETA: He thought Ayeka was a cow.
Ayeka turned slowly to Tenchi.
"Hi." Tenchi said.
Ayeka looked at him and saw he was naked too.
SPIKE, VEGETA and GOKOU: NO!
But not before she let out a blood-curtalling scream. It was the loudest
she had ever screamed. Tenchi was almost deaf. Him and haft of Japan.
GOKOU: Does the writer have something against the word half?
VEGETA: Lets annoy him, half, half, half, half, half, half, half!
"Ayeka. Come down. It's just me." Tenchi said.
GOKOU: Ayeka was on the ceiling?
Ayeka quickly calm down.
"Oh, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said. "You scared the. You scared the."
"Living shit out of you?" Tenchi asked.
"That's. that's one. less approved. way to say. it." Ayeka said
gasping. 
"Sorry," Tenchi said. "Had to say it."
Ayeka looked sad. She was covering her bosoms and cult from Tenchi's
eyes.
VEGETA: So he wouldn't be jelous she had more cult members than him.
At the same time she trying not to look at Tenchi's memeber. It was a hard
temptation.
SPIKE: Was that a pun?
One that Tenchi didn't want Ayeka to suffer. He wanted her to feel 
physical pain not mental. He decided to help by placing his hand on 
Ayeka's ass. Ayeka jumped at the touch. A sense of rudness from Tenchi.
But at the same time, she enjoyed it. Ayeka knew to have sex; she must
stop hiding what she got.
GOKOU: A nice rack!
SPIKE: A hot ass
VEGETA: Damn, you took em all.
GOKOU: A good face?
(Vegeta begins laughing)
"Are you nervous?" Tenchi asked.
SPIKE: No!
"Yes. very." Ayeka said.
"Don't be," Tenchi said. You've got a great body. And a kill smile."
"Very?" Ayeka asked.
Tenchi nodded.
GOKOU: Da commrade.
"If it wasn't for Sasami's. innocents," Tenchi said. "I would have
picked you first."
"Oh I see,"
(They hear a bump)
SPIKE: The hell?
Ayeka said in in a haft daze.
VEGETA: Half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half.
"It was because Sasami was a virgin that you picked her first."
GOKOU: Thank god we missed that one.
Tenchi nodded.
'That plus I wanted to take out your cook.' Tenchi thought.
Ayeka moved her hands to unblock Tenchi's view. Tenchi scanned Ayeka
with his eye. And believe me. Anime cartoon eyes are big enough to do
that.
GOKOU: We should know.
SPIKE: Not me, I was made differently.
Ayeka was embarrassed and was full of shame. She turned her head away 
from Tenchi and started to silently cry. It was a mix of happiness and
sadness. She was happy that she was finally with Tenchi. But at the
same time she was sad. Sad because she hadn't thought of what to do 
next. Sad because she hadn't thought of what to do next. And sad that 
Tenchi wanted to do virgins only. Ayeka lost hers about 600 years ago.
VEGETA: Jesus!
She is a woman of 723 years in a body of 23 years. Jurains age 
differently then humans. She decided to tell Tenchi was ugly truth.
SPIKE: Ass ugly truth in fact.
"Um, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said in a low whisper. "I've got some
unpleasant news. It's hard for me to say this out loud But."
"you're not a virgin." Tenchi interrupted.
Ayeka nodded. A tear ran down her check and onto her preast.
"I kind of knew that." Tenchi said.
"Oh. I see." Ayeka said.
"I know that the other are no longer virgins ether." Tenchi continued.
"I really don't care." Ayeka said in a monotone voice.
Tenchi was as unhappy as Ayeka. Ayeka wiped the tears from her eyes to
seem less sad. Tenchi wanted Ayeka dead not sad. Even though he was a
killer. He is a killer with a will to help anyone sad. Even if the
on that is sad was one that drove him insane.
VEGETA: Ayeka drove Tenchi insane?
SPIKE: You'd go insane with from her laugh too.
He has a grand idea. One that he was about to do even if Ayeka didn't
start crying like the spoiled princess she is.
"I think you need some of the Virginity Regain that Washu. I mean
Little Washu made."
GOKOU: We all know who could use a bit of that.
VEGETA: Yeah, our wives.
SPIKE: You guys are married?
"Oh? Will it. will it work on me?" Ayeka asked.
"The lable says for any human like being," Tenchi said. "Plus it has a
minty after taste."
GOKOU: For a regained virginity and a minty fresh breath, try Virginity
Regain. It works.
"Oh," Ayeka said dryly. "Sounds life something Mihoshi would had done."
"If it was Mihoshi," Tenchi said. "It would have been all alcohol."
"She put the ho in Mihoshi." Ayeka joked.
VEGETA: Funny joke number one!
SPIKE: That was funny?
Tenchi laughed. He reached for the veil as Ayeka reached for Tenchi's
manhood.
(They hear a creaking. Spike looks around)
Tenchi didn't mind.
SPIKE, GOKOU and VEGETA: But we do!
However, Ayeka was feeling a bit bad for it. But she quickly destroyed
any regret. She gave Tenchi and hand job that he'll not soon forget.
Tenchi smiled at Ayeka.
"I think you should go first." Tenchi said.
Ayeka nodded. She took the veil with her free hand and took a sip of
the potion. 
"Mm. Minty." Ayeka said. She then let out an unroyal burp.
"Sorry." Ayeka said blushing.
"Don't be." Tenchi said.
Ayeka nodded and handed the veil to Tenchi. He quickly took a sip and 
smiled.
"Now that's out of the way," Tenchi said. "Are you ready?"
Ayeka was more than ready.
SPIKE: Then quit wasting time!
And she dreamed of this moment since she first laid eyes on him.
"To quote something that vile demon woman Ryoko would say," said Ayeka.
"Hell fucking yah."
Tenchi looked blankly at Ayeka.
"Okay. That was a little unnecessary." Tenchi said.
Ayeka blushed again but brighter.
"I'm deeply embarrassed." Ayeka said.
"You got the bare ass part right." Tenchi joked.
VEGETA: Funny joke number 2!
SPIKE: That was acctually a pretty good one.
Ayeka slaped Tenchi for that.
GOKOU: But I think that was funnier.
SPIKE: Yes, violence is always a joke.
"If  you make one more joke like that, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said in a
royal voice. "Then I'll not have sex with you and make sure no one else
will."
VEGETA: I thought women loved a sense of humor.
Tenchi rubbed his check.
GOKOU: Cause it bounced.
VEGETA: Oh, nice one Kakarrot, you think that one up yourself.
"I'm sorry," Tenchi said. 'Stuck up slut.'
"So do I need permission to start?" Tenchi asked.
"You may," Ayeka said. "And you better be good. I've done royal
servants and they only gave their best."
'Royal ass bitch.' Tenchi thought.
SPIKE: Brace yourselves, here comes the sex!
He decided to start with playing with Ayeka's boobs. The touch alone
made Ayeka gasp. Rubbing them almost made her have an orgasm. She
rubbed her tits then moved his mouth in close to start licking her
nipples. This was driving Ayeka somewhat wild.
VEGETA: You think?
'Sensitive. I like that.' Tenchi said.
"More." Ayeka gasped. "I want. more."
Tenchi rubbed and licked harder making Ayeka have an orgasm. 
SPIKE: Already?
Ayeka also felt Tenchi's manhood grow bigger.
SPIKE, GOKOU and VEGETA: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
She looked down and grabbed Tenchi's dick. She forced him down with 
her weight and positioned them in a 69 pose.
GOKOU: Is there a 96? 
SPIKE: Yeah, you turn around and fart on each others head.
Tenchi was quick to find out what to do. He grabbed Ayeka's ass and
started to eat her out. Ayeka was licking Tenchi's cock as if it was
ice cream on a cone.
GOKOU: What flavor?
VEGETA: Pick.
Tenchi decided not to leave her asshole unplugged. Teking his thumbs
he thrust them in. Ayeka let out a scream/moan/orgasm
SPIKE: All in one day!
from the new feeling. It was good. And to Ayeka's over sensitivity, it
was very good. Ayeka and Tenchi continued to 69 for a minute or three.
Then Ayeka spanned. She was now facing the same way as Tenchi. Tenchi 
was ready and Ayeka was more then ready. Ayeka slammed herself onto 
Tenchi's cock and surprising Tenchi greatly.
(Suddenly Heero falls through the roof.)
SPIKE: What the hell?
VEGETA: You were watching?
GOKOU: Ack! Put your pants on boy!
(Heero runs away.)
Ayeka was well suired for the job. She was tight around Tenchi's rod.
Tenchi was too much in shock to move. But Ayeka wasn't. She started to
slide up and down Tenchi's cock slowly. She moaned softly as she rose.
She lost her virginity so long ago that she forgot how it felt. She
slid down again but faster. Tenchi was regaining movement now. Ayeka
was squalling with great joy. She rose and slid down with an orgasm
in the middle.
VEGETA: What's the orgasm count up to?
GOKOU: Three I think.
She was going fast but Tenchi wanted it to be faster. He grabbed her 
midsection and forced her down. He also forced her up. He increased
the humping motion faster and faster. Ayeka was moaning and orgasming
louder and louder.
GOKOU: Four.
It was wild. Very wild. After five minutes, the two climaxed with a
load of cum. Ayeka fainted for a while and on Tenchi.
VEGETA: Great god, I'm outta here.
GOKOU: I'm hungry anyway.
VEGETA: You're always hungry!
SPIKE: Please don't mention food. I don't think I can handle it right
now.
(They exit the theater)

(In the cave, all but Heero are standing out in front of the bathroom.)
VEGETA: (Banging on the door) Damn it Kakarrot! We need to be in the 
theater! Dr. Trunks is gonna kill us!
GOKOU: (Throws up) Hang....on.
(A light goes off and Trunks appears on screen)
TRUNKS: You guys better have a good excuse on why you're not watching
the fic.
SPIKE: Gokou is puking right now.
VEGETA: We just watched the Ayeka/Tenchi sex scene.
TRUNKS: Oh, in that case its understandable.
GOKOU: Hey Vegeta! I found Mr. Stuffikins!
VEGETA: WHERE!
GOKOU: It looks as though I ate him and I just threw him up.
VEGETA: GIVE HIM BACK YOU ASS!
GOKOU: (Flushes the toilet and walks out.) What?
VEGETA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
TRUNKS: Oh well, no more Stuffikins. Now back in the damn theater!
(The alarm goes off and they all run away.)

(They walk into the theater with Vegeta crying.)
VEGETA: I want my teddy.
GOKOU: I'll buy you a new one, geez. Baby.
A few minutes later. Ayeka awoke. She was still naked but with a
painful feeling all over her body. Most of the pain was in her head.
"Oh what the fuck hi me.?" Ayeka asked.
SHe looked around the room and saw that she was in an arena. A cage to
be more precise. Ayeka saw a door. She tried the handle. But it
seemed to be stuck. Or even locked.
"Oh my." Ayeka said.
Next to the door was a laser sword. Ayeka picked it up and decided to
use it against the door. But it did little to no damage. She tried
again and again. Each try was more and more annoying and useless. 
With the laser sword in hand she fell to her knees.
"I'm trapped," she said. "I'll be trapped until someone finds me."
"Or until you die." A second voice said.
"Who's. who's there?" Ayeka asked shakily.
The voice came into view.
GOKOU: She could see it plain as day! It was a wave of sound atacking 
her ear!
Ayeka's glance was turned to joy. The voice was Tenchi. And he was still
naked.
SPIKE, GOKOU, and VEGETA: Damn it!
"Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said. "Thank gods that you're alright,"
VEGETA: Which gods shall we thank?
She wanted to run to him. But she remembered what he said.
"Um, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka mimbled. "What did you mean or die?"
Tenchi didn't answer.
"Okay," Ayeka said feeling the chill in the air. "Please answer this.
Who put us here? And where is here?"
Tenchi still didn't answer. A chilled minute passed without a word.
At least Tenchi spoke.
"The answers are very simple. Even to a simpleton like Mihoshi,"
Tenchi said.
SPIKE: Which really doesn't say much about his plan.
"We are in a caged arena. I built it with Little Washu's Peta Bots.
Of course the Peta size was more my idea than hers."
"Peta? How small is that?" Ayeka asked.
GOKOU: (As Tenchi) About the size of my dick.
"10 to the -15th power," Tenchi said. "But that's beyond the point. The
point is that I brought you here."
"For what propose?" Ayeka said.
"Guess?" Tenchi asked.
"The only logical reason. Is to fight." Ayeka said.
"Bingo." Tenchi said.
VEGETA: You get a cookie.
"I've could only one thing to say," Ayeka said.
Tenchi listened in.
"What those bingo mean?" Ayeka said.
Tenchi fell anime style from the question.
(Everyone but Spike falls anime style.) 
SPIKE: The hell?
"Ayeka focus!" Tenchi demanded. "I brought you here to fight. Win.
And to kill you."
VEGETA: All in that order.
Ayeka was confused.
GOKOU: He wants to kill you! You know bump you off! How hard is that!
"Kill me? On what grounds?" Ayeka said.
"On the grounds of Earth," Tenchi joked.
An anime sweat drop appeared on Ayeka's head.
(They all get the sweat drop)
VEGETA: Someone please kill me now!
"The truth is that I wanted to take out my most hated," said Tenchi.
'Ironically she is the sister of the one killed yesterday."
"you killed someone yesterday?" Ayeka echoed. "Her sisters must be mad. 
And. And."
It just hit her. The ugly trust was like an impact of a very large
moon hitting her alone.
"The roast. It was Sasami. You killed her." Ayeka said.
GOKOU: I think Mihoshi would have figured it out earlier.
"If you continue talking like that," Tenchi said. "It may stick. But
you have a few moments of life left. So I don't care."
Ayeka's eyes started to tear. She was Tenchi's most hated. Even after
the love they made. Ayeka quickly grew mad as hell in the matter of
nanoseconds.
"You bastard," Ayeka said. "You've killed my little sister."
"Sasami, Ryo-Ohki and Sakuya." Tenchi corrected.
"Their blood. their souls. I will avenge them." Ayeka said.
"Don't make empty treats." Tenchi said.
SPIKE: Yeah, Tenchi wants the cream filling.
Ayeka proved to Tenchi it wasn't an empty threat. With her laser sword
she charged at Tenchi. Tenchi quickly formed a sword of his own. The
two changed at each other. Sword collided. Sparks flew.
GOKOU: Pants were honked.
VEGETA: Honked?
As the two dueld for their lives. Swing after swing. Blow after blow,
SPIKE: Verb after verb.
they went at it. Ayeka hit Tenchi's arm drawing first blood. Tenchi 
counter with a back swing. Making a deep gash in Ayeka's back
and cutting her hair short. Ayeka screamed in pain. Blood ran
down her back. Ayeka was quick to attack again. She swung wildly 
but Tenchi blocked every blow. 
"It's my turn." Said Tenchi.
He attacked with a fury of blows. Ayeka blocked a few but most hit.
She lost feeling in her right arm, lost her left hand and was slashed 
in the leg. Ayeka was a true Jurain; she didn't know the meaning of
the words give up.
"Do what you must," Ayeka gasped coughing up blood. "I just want to die
with honor."
"And so you will." Tenchi said jumping back. 
She aimed his sword at Ayeka.
VEGETA: Tenchi got a quick sex change.
"Doom Kaboom." Tenchi attacked. 
GOKOU: Doom Kaboom, I'm sure I've heard that somewhere.
He powered up and fired a blast of energy at Ayeka. Before the blast
hit Ayeka screamed at the top of her lungs, "Sasami, I'm coming to see
you again."
The blast hit and made a huge explosion. All that was left of Ayeka 
was the hand Tenchi cut off. Tenchi turned of the arena and put
the hand into the mini coffin.
VEGETA: Tenchi had a mini coffin ready?
He walked to his room singing his new song.
"Four girls down, four more to go," Tenchi sang. "And the next, it the
biggest ho. Now a dream is about to show. The next girl is has an IQ
of so-so."
SPIKE: (Sarcastically)Gee, I wonder who.
GOKOU: (Excitedly) Me too!
VEGETA: Idiot.

Tenchi: On the next episode is a special. This is one everyone will
love. It'll be the greatest kill I make. The unlucky girl is. Find
out. The next episode: Dream Kill True.
(They start exiting)
GOKOU: Wow, what a cliff hanger, I'm all excited and stuff!
VEGETA: Shut up, bear eater!

(Out in the cave Vegeta is dancing around and Gokou is talking to Spike.)
GOKOU: Well, that was a strange fic.
SPIKE: Yeah
VEGETA: Ayeka is deeead! Ayeka is deeead!
GOKOU: I didn't know you hated Ayeka.
VEGETA: Are you kidding, everyone hates Ayeka.
(A light comes on and Trunks appears on the screen.)
TRUNKS: Well, how is everyone?
GOKOU: I think that fic gave me a rash.
TRUNKS: (Writes it down) Gives a person a rash.
SPIKE: So, who's gonna die?
TRUNKS: Where's Heero?
(Heero walks in)
TRUNKS: Oh, good. Well, the results are in and the one I am going to kill is 
(Drum roll) Heero.
HEERO: Why me?
TRUNKS: Because you're underage and I hate you.
HEERO: That's not a good reason!
TRUNKS: Is for me, NOW DIE!
(Heero begins to melt and Trunks looks at everyone else)
TRUNKS: A new character will be coming as soon as I can find another fic. 
Ta ta fools!
(They look at the burning mass that was Heero)
VEGETA: I never liked him anyway.
****************************************************************
(The ending credits roll)
Written, Directed, Edited, Created, Developed, Produced by: Dr. Trunks.
Special Thanks to: The Author of this fic.
Extra Special Thanks to Mystery Science Theater 3000, for bringing out the 
MST in all of us!