Disclaimer: The MSTed story isn't mine and I don't want it. What belongs to me is what I have and what's not is someone else's. I despise this type of Lemon, and thus will mock, ridicule, and belittle anyone that writes them. -Shade : NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Bard: Hacha! All right, finally something juicy! : Don’t get your hopes up hentai. This lemon’s so bad that not even you could find anything remotely exciting about it. : Agh! Here it comes!!!! >Tenchi Muyo! Guardian: Why do I feel a grim foreboding about this fic? Shadow: Probably because the author isn’t even putting their name on this. Bard: Think Positive! Think Mihoshi & Kiyone! >H Adventures Series Shadow: Not good....there’s an entire series of this loose. >Send all feedback to warpzone32@hotmail.com. Guardian: Oh you are definitely warped all right! Shadow: Were you zoned out when you wrote this? >WARNING! Bard: Beware of attack pikachu! *BAP* Guardian: I said NO POKEMON!!! > This is a lemon fanfiction (as if the first >four in the series didn't clue you in on that), Shadow: Dear Gods.....they’re already loose! >and, well, it has Sasami in it. Bard: Shadow: You are NOT going there!!! Guardian: What the?!....... >In fact, it STARS Sasami, Shadow: [softly] You are soooo dead. Bard: >and in the end she does end up sleeping with someone. >^_^ Original, huh? : NO!!! Bard: Try stomachturning instead! Guardian: ...don’t...remind me.... >Hope you like it. : WE DON”T!!! > This lemon is deticated Bard: th..th....That...spelling....it can’t be!!! Guardian: It’s come back from the abyss of twisted lemons to torment the Earth once more!!! Shadow: It’s the one who’s name is representative of all that is evil!!!! >to Happosai, and to everyone else who cringes >at the thought of Sasami-based lemons. : Neither he nor we appreciate this! >I encourage people who hate Sasami fanfics to >read this one all the way through. Bard: We encourage people who hate pedophile authors to run this one all the way through. : Hear hear!! >Oh yeah, one other thing. : This is more then enough! >People keep telling me that I Bard: am a disgusting wacko that needs serious psychological help? Guardian: Should be tarred and feathered then burned at the stake with hot iron nails shoved through your hands for writing this? Shadow: That’s pretty dark for you......I like it! >shouldn't spell the princess's name "Aieka." : That’s because it’s spelled AYEKA!!! >Well, I don't care! Shadow: (Fates) We know. Guardian: (Fates) We know everything. >Excuse me if I'm not as smart as Washuu. Bard: Judging from what we’ve seen so far you’re lower on the IQ scale then Tatewaki Kuno! Shadow; That’s right! Kuno has an IQ of 1, this author has no discernible IQ whatsoever! >Ryohko wouldn't care how to spell Aieka's name, >and neither do I. This is my Tenshi fanfic, and >I can spell the names however I want to. Guardian: Oh man it IS the reviled one!!! >No need to start a Sunami of hate mail over it. : Don’t tempt us!! >Now, on with the Sasammi story! : [Scream] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! *=I made this food up. EPISODE 5: Bard: The MSTer’s Strike back! Shadow: If only we could. NO NEED FOR PEDOPHILES! : DAMN RIGHT WE DON’T NEED THEM!!! >Sasami twisted and squirmed in her sleep, >caught in the grip of a very potent dream. Shadow: (Vader) I have you now! Bard: (Sasami) Let go of me! Help! Dream molester! Guardian: If I had the strength I’d hit you for that. >Repeatedly, her mouth opened and closed, mouthing a >single name. : (Sasami) Must kill Author.... >Finally, her voice passed her lips, giving sound to the >name that filled her thoughts. > >"Tenchi..." Bard: Erk...I don’t feel so good..... >The sound of her own voice awoke Sasami. > She opened her eyes and realized that it had >only been a dream. Shadow: The end. Guardian: Feeling desperate? Bard: If only this lemon was a dream. > Sasami blinked in surprise. Bard: (Sasami) How’d I end up in this crappy lemon? >The sheets were twisted around her arms and legs >in some places. She was flushed and sweaty. Sasami >realized that she felt slightly tingly in a way that >she couldn't quite describe. Shadow; And if the author knows what’s good for them they won’t describe it! >Sasami tried to remember what the dream was about, but couldn't. Guardian: This wouldn’t have happened to us if you two hadn’t thrown Rowan to the wolves. Shadow: Look who’s talking! >"It must have been annother nightmare," she mused. > She was glad she couldn't remember this one. Bard: Now if only we could that. >Sasami rolled over on the sleeping mat, >and got up to start the day. Guardian: (Sasami) Now where did I put those keys for the solar ignition? >Sasami's eyes widened. The crotch of her >pajamas was completely soaked through! : Ullllllech...blergh...... >=^w^= Shadow: (Dilbert Comic) Must...control...fist..of...death... >After taking a bath, Sasami dumped her bedsheets into the washing >machine, along with Aieka's, just in case anyone should walk by and >wonder what she was up to. : > Sasami still wondered about the sticky warm slime >she had found herself soaked with that morning. Guardian: (Ghostbuster) I’ve been slimed! Bard: It’s the Blob! > She had only had very small wet spots on her panties >before, but they had been appearing more frequently >over the past few days. Most often, they happened >whenever she thought about boys, especially Tenchi. Shadow: Tsunami yes. SASAMI ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! > Sasami had sometimes seen the same thing on >Aieka's underwear when she washed it, >and she remembered embaressing her big sister >one day when she asked if it meant she was >thinking about Tenchi, too. Bard: [weakly] I think the whips and candle wax would be dead giveaways. > Aieka told her to stop asking about such things, Shadow: We ask that the author stop writing about such things. >and she she hadn't mentioned it again. There >were quite a few other things she had never >asked her sister about because of her reaction that day. Bard: Like how to escape from this story. >Sasami felt a slight tingle. : We’re feeling a slight nausea. > It felt like the wetness was starting to creep out of her again. Shadow: (Sasami) Get back in there! Bard: [Weakly] That was really low... > Sasami made sure nobody was looking, then >lifted the hem of her skirt. A tiny drop was >already starting to appear. Sasami blushed. Bard; And bled to death, sparing her and us from the lemon scene. Guardian: Now who’s being dark? >This could be a real problem if it started happening all the time. Guardian: And the runner up for the understatement of the year goes to.... >Did it mean she was growing up? : Nope. Becoming more like her big sister? : WE SURE HOPE NOT!!! >Did Aieka go through the day slowly moistening, >from the time she got up? Bard: (Chef) Be sure to baste the chicken evenly. >Was that why she had seen absorbant pads >advertised for women on Earth television? >Was this normal? : Absolutely NOT! >If it was, she didn't see how anybody >ever got anything done, it was so distracting. >Maybe that was why her sister was so cranky all the time... > >Sasami shook her head. She had so many questions, Shadow: (Sasami) Where's my lawyer? >she wished her sister had been more willing to talk >about it and not so embaressed. But it would have >to wait until later. It was time to fix breakfast. >*>>> Guardian: This fic is so bad that even the stars are running away. >"That was so good, Sasami!" Mihoshi giggled. Bard: Obviously not talking about this story. >Sasami brightened. > "Did you really think so?" Shadow: Did the author actually think? : Somehow we highly doubt it. >"I agree with Mihoshi," Kiyone said, Guardian: (Kiyone) We should escape from this lemon while we still can. >ruffling the younger princess's hair. >"I think this was probably the best I've had in my life." > >"Well, thank you." Sasami smiled. She was >glad everybody had liked her breakfast; she >had found it difficult to concentrate while preparing >breakfast, and was worried that she might have made a mistake. > >"It was absoloutely delicious, Sasami," Aikea said. > >"Are there any more red sweet bean paste >cake buns* left?" Ryoko asked. > >"Miyaaa," Ryo-ohki chimed in. > >Aieka helped clear the table as Tenchi and the >others left to start the day. > >"Guess I'll go take a bath," Ryoko said, glancing >pointedly at Aieka Bard: (Ayeka) Quit pointing that at me Ryoko! >Aieka was really annyoed when her heart seemed >to skip. Bard: (Heart) lalalalala.... >"Just a sceond... i think i'll join you Mis... erm... >miss Ryoko." We miss her already. Sasami smiled as she did the dishes, thinking about Tenchi. She hummed the Sailor Q theme to herself Shadow: Egads..that guy from Star Trek gets around. >as she washed those little triangular dish >thingies that I don't know what they're called. Guardian: Don't feel bad, we have the same trouble with you. >Suddenly she felt a brush against her inner calve >and almost jumped. Bard: (Sasami) Little Washu stop using me as a canvas! >"Miyaaa!!" "AH!! Ryo-ohki! You startled me!" Sasami game : Let's play the Pretty Sammy game! >the cabbit a cookie and a pat on the head. "What is it?" > >"Miyaa...miyaaa." The cabbit morphed into a little girl. > "Miyaa!!" Bard: Maybe I relaxed too soon....*gulp* >"Oh... Ryo-ohki... do you want to help? Is that it...?" > Sasami handed Ryo-ohki a towel, and watched in wonder >as the cabbit-turned-girl helped her dry the dishes. > >"That's terrific," Sasami cried, "I always knew you could >do stuff like this, Ryo-ohki! The others just don't see >it 'cuz they think of you as a pet..." Sasami guessed >Ryoko probably knew how smart her ship was... >She wondered if Tenchi knew that Ryo-ohki could do things more >complicated than carrying bushels of carrots for him? Guardian: I do not like where this is going. >"Tenchi..." Sasami sighed as she thought about Tenchi. > An image popped into her mind of one time when she had > seen Tenchi shirtless. Sasami blushed and tried to banish >the image, but she just couldn't stop thinking about it, and >how cute he looked, and a feeling much more alien >to her that she couldn't even begin to understand... : Argh! It’s a Chestbuster! >Sasami gasped as she felt something cold against her thigh. > She looked down and realized that there was a damp spot >soaked all the way through her skirt, that it had cooled in the >air and was now cold and wet when it touched her skin. Bard: The cold sweat of fear. >"EEEP!!" Sasami dropped her rag and ran from the kitchen, >covering the wet spot ashamedly with both hands. > "I'll be right back!" she called to the cabbit. Guardian: Take your time! >"Miyaa...?" Ryo-ohki carefully set down the dish she had been drying, turned into cabbit-form, and bounded >down the hall after her favorite person. She was >worried about Sasami. : So are we! >[o==]{ Bard: Hey look! It’s an off switch! : Flip it! Bard: Damn....it’s broken. >Sasami tried to relax as she gathered up her bath >things in a small wooden pail. Ryo-ohki had phased >through the door just as she tied the sash on her >clean skirt. She had quickly finished the dishes, then >excused herself for annother bath. She wanted to wash >this sticky stuff away and never feel it again. Shadow: We sympathize, we don’t ever want to see this fic again. >It was uncomfortable and, well...embaressing. Bard: Not to mention horrifying for us. >Sasami groaned as she thought about how she wasn't >supposed to think about tenchi, and then of course >that called up an image of his smiling face. : Resist...please...resist! > Sasami sighed. she realized with a start that she >had been sitting on the floor with her bath things >for many minutes, and that her panties were once >again drenched. Shadow: You’re cleaning that up afterwards. >Sasami smiled. The strange sensation sure felt good. >If only it didn't make such a mess, Sasami wouldn't >have minded it in the least. For just a moment she felt >a little bit ashamed at enjoying something that she >should have been disgusted at... then that's when it hit her. Guardian: Sasami died. The end. Shadow: Hey! I’m the only dark one here! >It was something that felt good but also kinda >guilty... It must have something to do with sex! Guardian: I sure as hell hope not!!! >She had heard of sex, of course. But she didn't know >or understand anything about it. What little she had >been privy to had come largely from Earth TV, before >Washuu had adjusted the set to pick up galactic >standard programming. Bard: So the normal programming for intergalactic television is alien porn? Shadow: Explains a lot doesn’t it. > (Well, why did YOU think they were watching a >soap opera about two giant penguis!?) : Because they were bored! >But Aieka had refused to answer any of her questions >on the subject. Then one day, Aieka had confronted >sasami, and asked her if she was really growing up >this fast, and if she truly needed answerers to these >questions. Aieka had told her, almost tearfully, >that the only one who could properly explain these >things would be her mother. Sasami had realized what >that would mean. The vacation on Earth would have to end, >Sasami and Aieka would return to Jurai, and Aieka would >never see Tenchi again. Sasami didn't want that, for she >could also see that her sister was in love with Tenchi. Guardian: Welcome to Feminine Dirty Tactics 101. >So she curbed her tongue and said no, she was just >curious, and after that day she didn't try to solve >the mysteries for herself. She resolved to avoid Earth TV >shows where she knew she could see sex. Shadow: In Japan?! What universe is this??? > She had been very young then and it didn't >really intrest her at all, except out of curiosity. >Now Sasami wondered if she could remember what it >had looked like. She had hardly gotten a glimpse >before Tenchi had come in, yelling something >at his fatherabout watching these things when she >was around. Shadow: Even Nobuyuki isn’t that much of a hentai! >It had looked like... two naked people... hugging? > Sasami wondered what it would feel like to hug >Tenchi like that... : NOOOO!!!!!!! >Sasami gasped as a shiver ran through her. She had to >stop daydreaming and go take her bath!! > >(:.)XXXXX{{ Bard: Welcome to the Brooklin Bridge. >Sasami wished she could think of any boy other than >Tenchi, but he was really the only boy she had ever >known well enough to admire... >certianly the nicest boy she had ever known. > She wanted Aieka to be happy with him, but >sometimes... she wondered what it would have been >like in her perfect world, if things had been allowed >to continue just a little while longer... : Make it stop!!! >Sasami silently slid open the door to the bath. > >"Mmmmm... mmph.. Ryoko..." > >"Oh, Aieka!" Guardian: Oh Gods... >Sasami silently slid closed the door to the bath. > >THAT is what it would have been like, she thought! > Except that theyprobably would have been clothed... >Sasami opened the door and took annother peek. Her >eyes widened as the two of them kissed and touched >each other... why was Ryoko wearing a black mask? >Sasami got ahold of herself as she realized her >sister might catch her looking. Aieka's eyes were >closed, and Ryoko's back was turned, but for >how long? She didn't want Aieka to catch her watching >her have sex, it might mean that she would have to go >back to Jurai. And that was even before the turmoil >of her emotions entered into it... > >Sasami closed the door again and sat back on her >knees. She could feel it, the warm, sticky, >strange-smelling fluid trickling down her leg. Bard: She isn’t old enough for that!!! Shadow: Welcome to Lemon Logic for Dummies. >Desperately, she ran into her room and wiped >away what she could with kleenex. She had to >get out of here so she could relax. : We need to get out of here before we go insane!!! >Thinking about Tenchi was no longer a problem, she had to >forget about what she had just seen in the bathroom! > >=~,~= Shadow: Pull the plug on this already! >Sasami walked the endless halls of Washuu's lab, an >affectionate cabbit perched atop her head. : Bleeeeccck...... >"At least now I know why Aeika and Ryoko fight all the >time," she thought to herself. "I wonder if they're >really in love, or just going out..." Sailor Moon, >Ranma 1/2, and Those Obnoxious Aliens had accustomed >her young innocent mind to the idea of diffrent kinds of >romances... she had just never thought it through before >that Zoicite and Maramou were also probabaly having sex. Guardian: Don’t try to blame someone else for this! >She felt that she had betrayed Aieka even by >realizing this. But... she couldn't keep her >ignorance forever... right? It was normal to go >through these things as you got older... so she >had to learn about it sooner or later... right? : WRONG!!! >Sasami sighed sadly and stared into a tank of what >looked to be glowing green jellyfish with dull red >cores. Maybe if she didn't go back to >Jurai, she wouldn't ever understand sex. > >"You know," Washuu said, "They could drain the energy >out of your body in a matter of seconds!" > >Sasami smiled a little bit, and turned to find Washuu >behind her, half a head shorter. "That's what you said >about the Paramites," she said. > >"Heh heh heh..." Washuu floated up on a pillow and >looked sasami in the eye. "No no, the Paramites drain >your bodily fluids... these little fellas are much >more elegent in their attack..." Washuu's voice went to >an evil melodramatic rasp, which only made Sasami giggle. > "They stalk their prey silently by drifting on air >currents... then they latch onto your head... and drain > the energy slowly from you at the molecular level! >They can suck the power right out of life forms, machinery..." >Washuu's voice went to a whisper... "even forcefields!" Bard: Does that mean they could kill this fic? Guardian: One can always hope... >Sasami's eyes went wide with alarm! The only thing that >kept her from taking Washuu's lab pets seriously was the >fact that there were forcefields seperating them from herself! > >"Heh heh heh... however, in their natural larve state they >are extremely physically weak! Even a pane of glass will >stop them!" > Sasami sighed in relief, then began to laugh... "That was >mean of you, Washuu!" Sasami's warm giggle betrayed her >words. "But it did help me to forget about my problem... > thanks." > >"Any time." Washuu petted Ryo-ohki on the head. "So, >is this problem anything the Greatest Genius in the >Universe can help you with...?" : NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! >Sasami smiled nervously and turned away... she blushed >slightly. "Um... actually, Washuu... it's kind of >something that I don't think you could help me with... >you see... it's about... um..." Sasami leaned >over close to Washuu. "...sex," she whispered. > >Washuu smiled, and chuckled sadly to herself. When would >these petty mortals learn that there was no knowlage >that was beyond her grasp? Bard: If she grasps what I think she’s gonna grasp I’m gonna start screaming >}0{< Guardian: It’s official, this fic has just laid an egg. >Sasami smiled as she closed the door to Washuu's sub-space room. Bard: (From behind his covered eyes) Is it over? Shadow: (Peeks) I think so. >She felt much better now than she had in a long time. Guardian: Danger! Danger!! Hentai tone detected! >Washuu was just great. : AAAAAARGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! > Incredible, even. She had very carefully and quietly >explained all about sex and growing up to the young >princess, in words that she could understand and a >soothing voice. All: (Megablink) All: Whew! >She was a great teacher. Guardian: Uh oh..... >Sasami was no longer afraid of the changes >taking place in her body. She knew for sure >that what was happening was natural and >normal, and she kind of had an idea what to >expect as she continued to blossom. Shadow: Of course realizing that it is going to take awhile first! > It was okay now, and she knew it was true, >because the smartest lady in the universe had told her so. > >Sasami had then asked Washuu if she was actually too >young to be going through this. But no, she had learned, >she was not, Bard: What a load of...... Guardian: What did the author do with the real Sasami?! > She said that the Juraian coming-of-age ceremony at the age >of 25 was not nessessarily the right time for everybody to >start having sex. She said it was an immaginary age that >grownups used for a reference point, that it had to do with >how old someone needed to be in order to have kids, and also >it had to do with how mature the adults thought their children >had to be in order to live responsibly. Bard: Welcome to the pedophile’s version of history and Juraian customs. (At this point the Guardian gets desperate and starts trying to destroy the fic) Unforunately for the trio, this is a Washu-chan invention. : DAMN!!! Get back to the fic. >The point was, despite jurian standards, it was not >wrong or unnatural for her or her big sister to be >experiencing this before the age of 25. Guardian: ITS WRONG AND UNNATURAL FOR SASAMI TO BE EXPOSED TO THIS!!! (Starts raving in anger) Bard: Must..not...go...stark...raving...mad..... >It was almost time for her to feed her latest >Earthling TV addiction, Pikachu. Guardian: AAAARRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! Shadow: Looks like he snapped. (Rowan’s voice): One down, two to go. Bard: Help me!!!! >(... or was it called Pokemon? shit... I need to >start getting up early... can you believe they put >it on at 5 am!? This is exactly what happened with >Dragon Ball Z. They CAN'T put it on in the afternoons, >NOOOOO, THAT spot goes to Samurai Pizza Cats, of all childrens anime!!!) Shadow: You can kiss the fourth wall goodbye now. >The commercial she happened to flip onto was advertising skin. > No, strike that, it was actually advertising a heath club. Shadow: What’s the difference? >But there was so much skin filling the screen, and it belonged >to so many attractive people, that Sasami could barely see parts >of the health club. Guardian: ..........deh..........evil..... Bard: You can’t leave us like this! Are you a man or a mouse?! Guardian: squeek squeek! Bard: That’s not funny!!! >Sasami squirmed as she pressed her legs together, trying >to ignore the juices as they squelched from their hiding place. Bard: Take the bottle out from between your knees. Problem solved. Shadow; You actually avoided a hentai riff? I’m starting to worry. Bard: I can’t keep this up much longer..... >"I forgot to ask Washuu what to do about this..." she sighed sadly. Shadow: I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!! (Shadow’s aura appears again and goes from cold blue to fiery red, expanding to form the image of a giant winged dragon) Shadow: RAGING MEGA-FLARE! (The Dragon’s mouth releases a blazing cone of energy toward the fic) *BOOM* Shadow: (Panting from exhaustion) (Rowan from the control room): That wasn’t smart. Guardian: THE FIC’S OVER HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Bard: YES!!!!! (Rowan): Nope, all he did was blast away most of the non-hentai material right before the....big....pardon the pun....climax to this piece of garbage. NOOOOOOOO!!!!! DAMN YOU ROWAN!!!! > "Sasami, does that happen, um... often to you?" Bard: (Sasami) No, only in crappy lemons. >"Oh, no," Sasami said, "It's just today that it's >been really bad for the first time. Guardian: No.......more....double...meanings..... Shadow: The Shatner syndrome is spreading. >I had a talk with Washuu, though, so it's okay... I >know what's going on..." she looked up at Tenchi >innocently. "I forgot to ask her how to stop it, though..." Bard: PLEASE!!! DON’T GO THERE!!!! >Tenchi tried not to smile at the look on her face, then he >tried to smile reassuringly, then he tried to stop smiling >because he was worried it would just look like a stupid >grin after all that thought beforehand about how it would >look. It turns out he needn't have worried, for the >animators drew all three expressions the same way. > >"Come with me," Tenchi said, taking her gently by the hand. > "I can show you how to get some releif..." : (OoO) WHAT?!!!!!!!! Bard: It’s a pod person!!!! Shadow: KILL!!!!!!!! Guardian: I can’t believe I’m saying this.....DITTO!!!!!!!!!!! >Sasami's ears turned bright red as she let Tenchi >lead her to his room. : NOOOO!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!! >"Umm... okay..." she said, feeling like she was floating. > >O_O! Bard: Oh, NOW YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU JUST DID!!!! >Sasami left Tenchi's room feeling more relaxed than she had in days. : (Catatonic) >"That was just incredible, Tenchi," she told him as she >prepared dinner that evening. "And your Grandpa taught you that?" : OH GODS IT GETS WORSE!!!! >"Yes," Tenchi said, "It always helps me whenever I feel... >erm... that way." Guardian: Please let it be something that does not involve anything starting with S or M. Shadow: Or both. >Sasami smiled brightly. Tenchi had taught her a meditation >technique that relaxed her and cleared her mind of dirty >thoughts. Now she knew what she could do whenever her >fantasies became too strong for her. : (Sigh in relief) >"Thank you, Tenchi," she said, giving him a light >kiss on the cheek. Shadow: You know I’m getting a sneaking suspicion that something’s not right here. >------=: Quit drooling you pervert! >Sasami brushed her teeth. She changed into a nightgown. >She said the prayers appropriate to whatever religion she is. Shadow: The fic ended. Guardian: Stop giving us false hope. Bard: Almost...finished....must...hang...on... >(Christian? Buddhist? Shinto? Something Jurian? >Self-worship because she's Tsunami???) She made her >sister's sleeping mat for her, just in case >she felt like going to bed right away after her >two-hours-and-counting bath. > >In other words, Sasami was getting ready for bed. : Gee we didn't know that already! >Suddenly, there was a horrible screeching noise. Shadow; The horrible reshaping of reality by the fic could no longer be handled and the story shattered into a million pieces. Bard: Ayeka found out who wrote this and let the whip start cracking. Guardian: That was the sound of our sanity snapping. > Sasami had no idea what it could be, it sounded >like a car with a broken police siren slamming on >its breaks while running over a group of very loud cats, >except it happened slower and lasted a lot longer >than such a noise really would, if it had happened. : Oh, it's just Ranma meeting Ryo-ohki for the first time. >Curious, Sasami peeked out of the window, only to >find Ryo-ohki standing on the roof. She was naked, >in older humanoid-girl form, and stood staring up >at the stars, with tears running down her cheeks slowly. : OH NO!!! >Before Sasami could say anything, Ryo-ohki made the sound again. > >"Ryo-ohki! What's wrong?" Guardian: (Ryo-ohki) I've been put in this lemon too!!! >Sasami asked. Ryo-ohki pouted and turned >her head to look at Sasami, then looked back >up at the night sky. > >"Oh," Sasami said, realizing, "You miss Ken-ohki, don't you?" > >"Miyaa..." The older girl nodded sadly, and stepped inside >the window to be with her Sasami. : BLEAHHH!!!! >Sasami sighed. Ryo-ohki didn't strike her as the type >that would be able to meditate well. Suddenly Sasami >had an idea of what might cheer Ryo-ohki up. Bard: No way!!! Not that!!!! >"I know," Sasami said, "I saw Aieka doing this once and >it cheered her up..." Shadow: Throwing darts at a picture of Ryoko isn't going to help. >Sasami walked over to Aieka's underwear drawers, Guardian: I'm in pain right now.... >and carefully removed something from the very bottom >without disturbing anything. It was about a foot long, >bright pink, and was made of smooth, slick rubber. >It had a slight buldge at one end and a switch on it. : Oh Shit.... > this was annother one of the things Sasami had not >asked Aieka about, but now she had a pretty good >idea what it was used for. Bard: All in favor of killing this author? : AYE!!! Shadow: All opposed? (???): Neigh! WHO??? (Turning they see the one that gave Artemis Nightmares) : AAAAA!!! KILL IT!!!! (The trio proceed to vent their fustrations on the Unholy one and flush the remains down the toilet.) >Ryo-ohki looked down at the thing and then back at Sasami. > "Miyaa...?" she said, a look of intense curiosity on her face. Shadow: (Ryo-ohki translated) So I hit the author over the head with this? >Sasami smiled. "You can go use it in the spare room," >she said, "nobody's using it right now." >Ryo-ohki phased through the wall and left quickly to try >the strange device out. Moments later, Sasami heard the >cabbit making noises similar to the ones Aieka had made. Bard: spew.......*FREAKS OUT* (Rowan): And then there was one.... > It certianly sounded a lot better than the noises she >had made on the roof. After about twently minutes >of this, the sounds died down. Sasami smiled. >She was glad she couldc help Ryo-ohki feel better. Shadow: I'm not going to be feeling better for a long time.... >A few minutes later, a grey blur wisked in through the door >and under Sasami's covers. Shadow: Erk..... > Sasami giggled as it crawled up to the pillow. Shadow: .......no..... > She kissed the little furry cabbit on the nose, Shadow:....a.gh...... >and went to sleep, and her dreams that night were peaceful ones. > >THE END. : PRAISE KAMISAMA!!! IT'S OVER!!!! (Rowan appears with Washu-chan) Rowan: So how was it? : The only reason why we're not going to kill you is that the author had intelligence to not put Sasami in an actual act of carnal activity. Washu-chan: Say...What about Shadow here....Hmmm... (Waves her hand in front of him......Shadow doesn't blink) Washu-chan: Looks like he's unconscious. Rowan: Remember this, next time it'll be much much worse. (The Bard gets in the crouch of the Wild Tiger) Washu-chan: And now for your physicals! Guardian: eep! *$*$*$*$*$* Author's notes: Surprised? I did say that this would be a bad lemon, I just didn't say how bad it would be. But Sasami Lemons are still EVIL!!! Disclaimer: Yadda Yadda Yadda. If you don't understand that use a Universal translater! -Shade