Subject: [Tenchi] MST of Superstitions
Date: 26 Jan 99 22:42:31 PST
From: Shade <rowan-phoenix@usa.net>
To: GenSao@geocities.com

(Author's note: I saw, I MSTed, I sent)

<The Bard, Rowan, Shadow, and the Guardian enter>

<The bard and Rowan look about 17, the other two
look to be in their early 20s and each possesses
a rather attractive visage....or a single visage
in their case. A second look reveals that they all
look exactly alike except for their clothes
(A flashy green outfit for the Bard, a shimmering
light silver plate armor for the Guardian, neutral
gray for Rowan, and black for Shadow), and the Bard's
green eyes. The eyes of the other three are violet
and their black hair....>

Bard: Would you just get on with the bloody fic already!!!

(Fine....*Mutters about ungrateful creations*)

<The four reviewers take their seats>

Guardian: Why are we doing this?

Shadow: Cause Shade hasn't got Anime Mist Network up and
        running yet and since he didn't want to miss a
        chance for C&C we got drafted.

Guardian: Oh.

>I hate sleeping on the second floor.

Bard: Hey! What happened to the opening?

<Rowan is reading a very small note>

Rowan: Hmmm...."Superstitions" by Switch.
       A Tenchi Muyo fanfic.

Bard: Related to Light or Hitter...*WHAM*....ouch....

Shadow: <Puts away bat> That was lame and uncalled for.

<The other two raise an eyebrow but refrain from comment>

Guardian: <Going back to the story> My guess is Ryoko
          from the first person perspective. It looks
          like something she would be thinking.

Rowan: I agree, although it might be someone else,
       maybe Noboyuki or Tenchi. It would help if the
       title and series was on top, maybe the standard
       disclaimer too since he's not using original
       characters like us.

>It's more 'cause of the stairs, really.  I hate
>having to really be awake when I'm getting up,

Shadow: Yes, it's much better to be asleep when
        you get up.

> but here I am getting to the bath down the stupid
> stairs, hoping that I don't fall down and die
> really soon.

<All four stare for a moment in silence>

Rowan: Okay...it's not Ryoko.

Shadow: And Mihoshi, Ayeka, and Sasami sleep
        downstairs....assuming this is taken
        from the OAV series?

<Rowan nods>

Guardian: Which means that it can only be....

Bard: It's Washu!

<Facefault x 3>

Shadow: ......."Gentlemen, what we have here is
        quite possibly the stupidest man on Earth".

>So, okay, I'm not really afraid of heights, not
>like I haven't been anywhere higher than mile-high.
>I've dropped from mile-high, for ----'s sake.
>These damned stairs are just too narrow at times, y'know?

Guardian: Might I point out that the comma between 'So'
          and 'okay can be dropped. Also "I've dropped
          from mile-high, for ----'s sake." could be
          reworded with an 'a' or 'over' in front of
         'mile-high' to make it less clumsy sounding.

Bard & Shadow: Nitpicker.

>Okay, so I didn't really fall from that high.
>I'm not afraid.

Rowan: (Skywalker) I'm not afraid.

Shadow: (Yoda) You will be...You will be.

Guardian: Might I point out that Tenchi did fall
          from such a height in episode 4, and he
          didn't seem phased at all.

Rowan: Wasn't that when he was staring at Mihoshi's
       chest?

Shadow: Yup. Of course he did panic at the last
        second when gravity kicked in.

Bard: You mean this is Tenchi talking?!

Shadow: "Where were you when they handed out the brains?"

>Damned stairs.

Guardian: What did those poor stairs do to earn damnation?

Shadow: Ah, I see Mara's been repairing the Masaki house.

Rowan: Don't go there, the last thing this world needs
       is a OMG & TM crossover involving that demoness
       and Tenchi.

Bard: With his luck she'd trying to get him into the
      sack too.

>I hate it when the lights are off and the lights are on in the
>staircase, 'cause I keep seeing my crumpled body as a heap at
>the bottom, and I keep looking at my eyes, 'cause they're
>saying, damn, why did you have to trip and die, you idiot, why
>weren't you looking where you were going, overstepping, not
>balancing, not bothering to wake up...?

<All>: Argh....too....many...commas....
need...to...stop....Shatner....impression....

>Now you're dead - and

Rowan: - and you're going to be reincarnated as
       Ranma Saotome.

Bard: - and thus you escaped the maternity suits
      from Ryoko, Washu, Ayeka, and Mihoshi.

Guardian: They killed Tenchi!

Shadow: You bastards!

>all that crap.  I blink and close the lights.

<Blink, Blink>
<The lights in the room go on and off several times>

>Then there are those mirrors.

Bard: And exactly where are these mirrors? *Wink, Wink*

>I hate mirrors at night.

Guardian: Because there's no view whatsoever.

Rowan: (Tenchi) Please Ayeka-chan! Can't we do it without
       the mirrors....or the chains....or the long bullwhip!!

Shadow: Mirror, mirror on the wall...

Bard: "Man in the mirror...."

>You know what they say about looking in a mirror at midnight
>with the lights off and holding a candle right in front of you?

Guardian: Nope, what do they say?

Bard: Well...erk...*Being strangled by Rowan and Shadow*

Shadow & Rowan: Don't...even...try....

>Looked behind you, huh.

Rowan: Argh! he's become a stalker!!

>Nope, never tried it. Might find out who my
>soul mate was/is, s'all.  Not sure I'd wanna
>find out quite so soon, y'know.

<All>.........<Long moment of silence>.......

Guardian: Actually that's something he should be
          doing his best to figure out before the
          girls decide for him.

>So many mirrors in my room, s'all.  Never really
>bothered with them at night, 'cause in the morning
>I'd like to see how blasted I'd be looking.

Shadow: So now Tenchi is a hentai and an alcoholic?

Guardian: That's what happens when you hang around
          Ataru and Mr. Fujisawa too long.

>There's that mirror at the end of the hall from the
>stairwell, too.  Damned dark.

Shadow: I sentence this dark to the 9th level of the
        abyss!

>I'm not afraid of the dark.  Don't care if I die, dammit.

Bard: Now the girls are another story....

>I wonder if I'd get exactly seven years bad luck.
>  Maybe I'll have an anniversary or something, try to
>remember the really unlucky bits of the past year.

>Hate mirrors.  That guy in it might say something scary.  Or
>my head might not be there.  Wouldn't want to know that I'd
>die, or something.

>Hate dreaming 'bout falling.  Hate being helpless.

>If dreaming 'bout flying means sex, what does flying in real
>life mean?

Bard: That you had sex obviously.

>  What if you're being flown by someone?

Bard: That someone had sex with you.....*WHAM*

<Rowan puts his staff away>

Bard:......*Drooling on the floor*....

>If you step on a crack in space-time, does your mom get it?

>Mom.

>Don't want to die.  Not yet.

>Didn't die.  Never died.  Don't think about space, not being
>able to breathe, looking in the mirror and finding her face
>over the candle flame as the clock ticks eleven, twelve.
>Not thinking about my neck cracking on the tenth step on the
>way down from running away from myself.  Never gonna hear
>that stupid organ playing.  Not gonna worry about them dying.
>Me dying.  Tsunami crying.

Shadow: (Tenchi) my body frying, Ayeka sighing, Kagato lying.

>I'm a prince.  Alien.  Prince.

Guardian: Make up your mind!

Rowan: Yes, a disgusting slimy parasite or a monster from
       outerspace with two sets of jaws.

>Kagato is dead, get some sleep.

Shadow: *Snorts* Dead? Try reduced to atomized particles
        instead.

Rowan: Well that's it for the fic.

>***

Guardian: 3 stars? I thought maybe 2 and 1/2 at most.

>Yes, after OAV 6.  Hell, I'd be wracked over it.  If you
>think this was too dark (or morbid), tell me about it.

>Switch

Rowan: It wasn't that morbid, a bit OOC for Tenchi in the
       beginning but pretty good anyway. The mirrors seemed
       a little odd.

Shadow: The ending paragraphs were good, Tenchi's
        confontation with his mortality and the doubts that
        arise from it are handled well.

Guardian: I wonder if the Author saw episode 7? Tenchi seemed
          to have gotten over his fight with Kagato pretty
          quickly in it.

Bard: *Out cold*

Shade's notes: Well this is my first MST to the FFML,
no offense meant to Switch, apologies in advance if I
did offend. Constructive C&C on this is welcome, no
flames please.

-Shade (Creator and owner of Shadow, Rowan, The Bard & the Guardian)