Sasami Lemon Muyo!

by K'thardin

This MST is in protest to all those damn Sasami lemons out there.  I have
a rather large problem with these kind of stories.  And with Don Euclid
busy...this one was not getting the attention it deserves.  Anyway all the
MSTers situations are mine.  They (except for Cyraqs) do not belong
to me.  The rest belong to someone else.  There.

<Cut to a scene of the inside of house in a living room in it we see Star Treks 
Q setting up what appears to be a VCR (beta) and a brand new 50 inch wide screen 
TV>

Q:  	They'll be here soon.  Little do they know the terrors they will 
experience.  Yes, Those I have chosen will do nicely for this MST.  Yes I *Q* 
terror of the universe (not to mention quite a number of highly rated Star Trek: 
TNG episodes; get them while you can folks.  Only $19.95 per tape) will make 
this this next hour the most painful in their lives!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

<Half an hour later.  Cut to a scene of Galactus, devourer of worlds, standing 
outside of a house; white with pink curtains, with a bag of something in one 
hand and a map in the other.  The map he is currently reading and comparing with 
the house in question.  At his side is G1 Megatron Decepticon Commander Supreme 
looking over Galactus' shoulder.>

Megatron:  This is the place?
Galactus:  It's the only one with pink curtains on the windows.
Megatron:  Why pink?
Galactus:  Probably not a good idea to ask.

<The two walk up to the front porch and ring the door bell.  The door opens to 
reveal Q.  Grinning.>

Galactus:  <To himself>  It must be really bad.  He looks like he
just bumped Picard's daughter or something.

Q:  	<Smiling>  Welcome.  I see you brought the snacks <Thinks:  You're going 
to need something to puke up after this> Galactus.

Megatron:  Like you didn't know *he* would never forget that.

Galactus:	<To Megatron>  I would remain silent if I were you.  I
 		I *do* eat worlds you know.

Megatron:	Yeah and the last person that tried that we blew up!

Galactus:	Only 'cause you had the Matrix.  And as I recall you
		don't now.

Q:  <Still smiling>  Gentlemen, Gentlemen.  PLEASE!  We are here because each of 
you lost a bet to me, now as the loosers you must participate in my MST.  Come 
inside and I can begin making your lives a living HELL!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 
<Noticing their looks he is getting>  Sorry.

Megatron:  Well let's just get this over with and I can go back to conquering 
and pillaging worlds.

Galactus:  But aren't you the one that always gets his ass kicked by Prime?

Q:  Galactus!

Galactus:  <Sheepish>  Sorry.

<The three file in.  Cut to the scene of the living room.  Inside we have Cyraqs 
K'thardin and Vegita already there, sitting on the couch in front of the TV.  
Both are chomping on some chips and dip placed on the coffee table in front of 
them.>

Vegita:  <Munching>  Well if nothing else can be said Q certainly has good taste 
in dips.

Cyraqs: <Munching> Yeah.

<Q walks in with Galactus and Megatron.  Megatron looks at the two on the couch 
and mutters something about needing glasses, seeing double.  Both walk over and 
plop down on either side of the couch; Megatron next to Vegita, Galactus next to 
Cyraqs.  Galactus dumps out his hoard of Fritos and Doritos on the floor and 
begins to tear into it.>

Cyraqs:  So Q, are we going to start this or what?

Q:  <brings over a chair and sits down beside them.  A remote appears in his 
hand>  Patience folks.  We are now ready to begin.  <Thinks>  This is great.  
Galactus, Vegita, Megatron, Cyraqs, and Myself, the all-powerful Q!  I will make 
them beg for mercy at my feet and show them none!  <Barely refrains from 
laughing maniacally and presses button on Remote.  The TV and VCR activates.>

Vegita: <To himself>  A beta?  Who the hell uses a beta anymore?

>"There must be something we need Tenchi for!"

Cyraqs:  Yeah the occasional punching bag and target for crappy humor.  Not to 
metion every wacko in the cosmos.

>Tenchi Muyo! "Lemon that isn't lemon" series, Volume 1

Megatron:  Oh god a series?!
Vegita:  <Crossing his palms in a T fasion>  Time out man.  How can a lemon not 
be a lemon?
Q:  I don't know.  Smile and nod?
All:  O.K.

>By: Phillip Masters

Galactus:  <pulls out note pad and pen and begins writing>  Philip Masters.
Megatron:  What's that for?
Galactus:  <grinning>  Just a reminder.

>Tenchi lay in bed doing nothing in particular. 

Vegita:  Oh so he was doing everyone in general then.
Megatron:  How would he do that?  He would need at least twelve dicks.
Vegita:  Perhaps he went overfiend?  Ah yes I can see it now...a 
Tenchi/Overfiend...<Notices he's staring down the barel of a fusion cannon>
Megatron:  Don't go there.
Vegita:  <Sweatdrop>  Right.

>Of course in the 
>Masaki house, this was just asking for trouble. First, in came 
>Ryoko, wanting more attention from Tenchi.

Megatron:  What's with this guy?  She practically throws herself at him and he 
won't go for it!
Vegita:  Yeah what a wuse!
Cyraqs:  C'mon guys he's just a kid.  Cut him some slack.
Vegita:  Man when I was a kid I was getting some left and right, and I know most 
other kids go for it too.  And you have no room to talk; I've heard about your 
childhood!  Be good at all things heh.
Cyraqs: <Blushes>  Well uhh...that's kinda different...
All but Cyraqs:  Sure.

> Then came Ayeka, she 

Q:  Oh so it's one at a time then.

>insisted she just needed lord Tenchi's help fixing something. This 
>ignited an argument between the two parties. 

Galactus:  How do two parties argue?
Vegita:  I remember one time Kakarotto and I were boozing with Piccolo and Gohan 
when we got into a fight with some...<Others are looking at him 
strangely>....What?
All: <Still looking at Vegita>
Vegita:  grumble...mumble...just trying to help...grumble

>Tenchi, as usual, took 
>this opportunity to slip out the door. Upon exiting his room he 
>almost tripped over Washu. 

Cyraqs:  Aw c'mon she's not that short!
Q:  A mite defensive are we?
Cyraqs:  Shut the hell up.
Q:  <Snickers>

>She proceeded to smile up at him. He 
>smiled back, not as enthusiastically.
>"Have you had your monthly checkup?"

Megatron:  Why no doctor.  Care to give it to me?
Cyraqs:  <To Megatron>   Keep it up.
Galactus:  <To Q>  Are you sure it was a good idea to invite him <Points toward 
Cyraqs> to this?
Q:  Sure.  Am I not Q?
Galactus.  Uhhuh.

>Inquired Washu, still smiling 
>monstrously.

Vegita:  Monstrously?  Maniacally sure.  Insanely definately.  But if you want 
to see monstrous you ought to get my woman pissed at you.  Now *that's* 
monstrous.
All:  <Look away and whistle innocently>

>"Yes, of course I have." Tenchi answered quickly.
>This left Washu in a temporary confusion 

Cyraqs:  I guarantee she is not that easily confused when it comes to...those 
matters.
Galactus:  <Evil grin>  Spoken like someone who's had first hand experience.
Cyraqs:  <Glares darkley at Galactus>

>that gave Tenchi enough 
>time to escape certain doom. Downstairs sat Mihoshi and Kihone. 
>Tenchi just quietly slipped pat these two, who were in a heated 
>discussion. Now he was in the kitchen. Safe? Not on your life. 

All: heh

>Both 
>Sasami and Ryo-ohki were making or consuming food. My goddess! 
>Thought Tenchi to himself. Would he have to summon Tsunami to get 
>any privacy.

Cyraqs:  Where does he get that shit?  Summon Tsunami?  What the hell is she 
going to do?  Laugh her adorable little tush off is what she would do!
Q:  <To Galactus>  See what I mean.  His reactions are great!
Galactus:  <Nodding>  Yes I see what you mean.

> He glanced over at Sasami, no that wouldn't work 
>either. He went out the back door. He walked to the shrine. His 
>grandfather, while annoying at times, would be better than the 
>house. 

Megatron:  <Announcers voice>:  A horror show of epic proportions.  So tune in 
for House 5.  It'll make sour lemon-aid outta ya!
Others:  shudder

>He opened the temple gates and slammed them shut again. He 
>rubbed his eyes. What he just saw couldn't have been real. His 
>grandfather was at least seven hundred years old! The man sitting 
>in the temple was only about twenty. Of course, all the women he 
>lived with were all at least this old as well.

Vegeta:  <Sasami>  Who is this older lady?  Is she a friend of yours Tenchi?

> He shrugged his 
>shoulders, and opened the door again. Inside sat his grandfather, 
>old as ever, and looking like it. He must have imagined it. He sat 
>down next to Yosho.

Cyraqs:  Is it me or is the sentence structure here really choppy.
Galactus:  <Chopping some pickles>  Just you.

>"Get fed up with the house?" Asked Yosho glancing over at his 
>grandson.

Megatron:  No but I'm getting fed up with this story.
Galactus:  <Eating some chopped pickles> I agree.  It's getting so bad I could 
puke just from current content.
Q:  <Grinning> Bowls are under the couch.

>Tenchi nodded, "Why me?".
>Yosho chuckled, "Why not? Most men would kill to be in your 
>position.".

Megatron:  <Grinning> Yeah like Vegita.
Vegita: Hey!

>"Funny, I'd kill to get out of it."

Vegita:  Yeah do what I do and send them to another dimension!
Cyraqs:  <To Vegita> WHAT THE FUCK?!
Vegita:  <Thinks about what he just said>Damnit!  Piccolo warned me about those 
damn censors!

>"Well, you could easily solve your problem you know."
>"How?"
>"Pick one."

Vegita:  <Professor's voice>  The criteria for picking the best women are as 
follows.  Breast size, Body shape and the all important how tight is 
the...<Trails off as the others ready their various powers and weapons>
Cyraqs:  Please say it.  I dare you.

>"One what?"
>"A woman moron. They all like you, love you in fact. Isn't there 
>one you would like to be with more than any other?"
>"Well, definitely not Washu. She is way to smart for me, I
>couldn't stand being wrong all of the time."

Cyraqs:  Shall we go there boys?

>Yosho laughed, "My boy, you will be hard pressed to find a woman 
>then. You will find they are always right. At least if you want to 
>live in peace they are."

Vegita:  No need. He already did.
<Vegita and Cyraqs bow their head in despair.  Others nod their sympathy>

>"Anyway, I wouldn't pick Mihoshi or Kihone either. One is to ditsy 
>for me, and the other isn't really all that interested in me."
>"So that leaves Ryoko, Ayeka, and Sasami. 

Megatron:  Yes the old logical process of elimination.
Cyraqs:  He better not be about to do what I think he's about to do.
Q:  What's that?
<An aura of power is forming around Cyraqs.>
Galactus:  <To Q>  Say isn't he married to Sasami?
Q:  <Thinks for a sec>  I'm not sure if the Fanfic has gone that far, but for 
all intents and purposes yeah.
Galactus:  <Worriedly>  O.K.

>Which one do you take a 
>fancy to?"

Vegita:  Personally I like the Dodge Ram, but this Transam is rather nice; also 
this new VW...

>"Isn't Sasami a bit young for me?"

Cyraqs:  And you better keep that thought in mind.

>"If seven hundred years is to young for you, maybe you should 
>consider Washu again."

Galactus:  Yeah but most of that was in stasis right?  How old would she be 
about then really?
Cyraqs:  8 Earth years.
Vegita:  <Mummbling>  That was quick.

>"Oh, yea. Well, I just don't know. They are all so affectionate
>and nice. I don't think I can make a decision like that."
>"You must, Tenchi my boy their is a time in a man's life that he 
>must decide how the rest of it will go. This is your time, so 
>chose, but chose wisely.

Q:  <Knight of the round table> Choose, but choose wisely.  The grail will bring 
life, the others will kill you horribly.
Cyraqs:  That would be a mercy presently.

> For there is no turning back."
>Tenchi ingested this for a moment. He then got up, "I'm going to 
>meditate in the woods, perhaps the answer will find me.". At this 
>he left.
>Yosho watched his grandson walk out the door. He chuckled to 
>himself, "My boy, the answer will find you I'm sure, just be 
>prepared to run."

Cyraqs:  <Ayeka>  My how quickly he runs.

>Tenchi made his way through the woods to the sacred tree. He later 
>had found out that it was actually his grandfather's life-tree. 
>This actually made it more sacred to him. He found this spot was 
>the most relaxing place to meditate. He sat down and began his 
>routine.

Megatron:  <Pat Morita>  Focus Daniel-san.

>Fourteen minutes went by in utter silence. He was totally 
>in a meditative state, yet no answer to his dilemma had surfaced. 
>However, little to his knowledge, an answer of sorts was stumbling 
>through the woods toward him. A rustle to his right fazed him but 
>he held his tranquillity.

Vegita:  Isn't this how porno's start?
Q:  Remember the title?
Vegita: <Lightbulb comes on>  Oh yeah!

> A moment later the rustle grew louder, 
>this warranted attention. Tenchi cocked his head 

Galactus:  <opens his mouth>
Megatron:  Don't even think it.

>to pin point the 
>sound's source. A moment later the source made itself apparent. 
>Through the bush came Ayeka, mumbling something about the path not 
>being clearly marked. She was not paying attention to where she was 

Cyraqs:  O.K. here we go!
Q:  <mummbling>  So far it isn't too bad.  May have to talk to the guy who gave 
me this tape.

>going, and Tenchi still had his eyes closed. Ayeka plowed right 
>into the sitting Tenchi. With a squeal she fell most 

Megatron:  <Southern accent>  Squeal like a pig, boy!
Cyraqs:  That was an absolutely disgusting reference!
Others:  <Turn a little green>

>unceremoniously onto him. Now, some say fate controls our destiny. 
>Others say we control our own. But however it works, the event
>that occurred next was totally unexpected. For when Ayeka fell 
>over Tenchi, the shirt she was wearing flew up with a sudden gust
>of wind. Ayeka was not wearing a bra today, and Tenchi ended up
>face first in a bare bosom.

All: <singing>  Bumpchiti bow bow...

>Ayeka stared at the ground blinking. Tenchi 
>stared at Ayeka's skin, blinking as well. At first Ayeka's impulse 
>was to leap right up. However, before she could complete this act, 
>Tenchi moved his head. Juraians are notorious for being the most 
>sensitive creatures in the universe, sexually.

Cyraqs:  <grinning> There is a reason for that.
Vegita:  <curiously>  What would that be?
Cyraqs:  <still grinning> None of your business.

>This probably had 
>something to do with the fact that they remain virgins for 
>approximately eight hundred years.

Cyraqs:  bzzzzz.  wrong answer.  Monty tell him what he gets as a consolation 
prize.
Galactus:  Just a one way ticket to the place where all crappy lemmon writers 
go.  An eternity in the hell best left undescribed where he can spend his time 
talking to such wonderfull people as MikeForever and Washuu@Naughty 
Tentacles.com while listening to Barney singing "I love you.  You love me." in 
the background.
Others:  <Grin Evilly>

>Ayeka exhaled sharply then 
>followed with an equally sharp inhalation. This whole act not only 
>excited Ayeka to a degree she had not witnessed before, 

Galactus:  How do you actually witness your own exictation?
Q:  Well...
<Others throw him a dark look. Q cringes sheepishly.>

>but Tenchi 
>as well. For he had discovered himself buried in the softest 
>location he had ever found.

Cyraqs and Vegita:  Says you!
Q:  Guys pay attention!  That Tenchi ever found.
Cyraqs and Vegita:  Oh.

>Another revelation struck him as he 

Megatron:  Brothers and sisters; I have had a revelation.  I do declare...
Vegita:  Declare!
Megatron:  That this piece of FanFiction...
Galactus:  Preach on my brother!
Megatron:  is junk!
Others:  Amen!

>felt Ayeka's heart racing. No other man had ever charted this 
>territory either.

Q:  <Columbus>  So you see if we sail this way...
Cyraqs:  Q.
Q:  Hmmm?
Cyraqs:  That was lame Q.

> He was the first, and for some reason this turned 
>him on more than anything else. Without really thinking about it, 
>his mouth shot over to the peak of the nearest fleshy mound. 

Cyraqs:  Actually according to sis those aren't really mounds.   More like 
sketer bites.
Megatron:  <Drooling>  They're good enough for me!

>Having 
>reached its destination, his mouth began to suckle the nipple it 
>found there. Tenchi felt hot, Ayeka was positively on fire. 

All:  <singing>  We don't need no water let the Mother Fucker burn.  Burn Mother 
Fucker, burn.
Cyraqs: <Beevis>  hehe, hehe, fire!  Fire!  Fire!
Q:  O.K.  Enough of the fire jokes already.

>Her breathing became more labored

Galactus:  They've haven't even done the deed yet and she's already going into 
labor?

>as he continued his "quest to excite 
>the chest". 

Cyraqs:  According to sis; that would be a quest spent in vain.
Vegita:  So what do *you* think?
Cyraqs:  For fear that a blue-headed goddess will come and kick my ass I plead 
the fifth.
Vegita:  Yes, I see your dilema.  I know all about blue-headed women.
Galactus:  <To Q>  Does Cyraqs always talk like Captain America?
Q:  Complain to his writer not me.

>Tenchi soon found however that he could not breath like 
>this, so pushed Ayeka off of him. When they both sat up,
>their eyes 

Galactus: <Opens his mouth again>
Megatron:  Don't even..!

>met. Tenchi gulped,

Q:  I think you are already past that point man.

>Ayeka smiled. Then, she pulled her shirt over 
>her head. Tenchi was now able to take in the whole sight. She was 
>absolutely gorgeous!

All:  <Drooling>

>He had seen her before like this, but not in 
>this condition, or through these eyes. He knew her better now, and 
>knew he loved her. He had thought this to be platonic, but now it 
>came out in all of its glory.

Megatron:  Oh 'came out in all of its glory' huh?
Galactus:  If I can't then neither can you.

>He pulled his own shirt off. Ayeka 
>leaned over to him and firmly planted her mouth over his. They 
>opened their mouths as the kiss got deeper and more involved. 
>Tenchi found his hands fondling her breasts.

Cyraqs:  I think I already went there.
Megatron:  More than once.

> They sat, embraced as they were, for about ten minutes.

Vegita:  That's almost impossible.  Maybe if she were on her knees and his legs 
spread...
Q:  You know there is a problem when your viewers are getting more perverted 
than the actual story.

> Then Tenchi's hands found they 
>were getting bored of the current locale and went in search of
>more interesting areas.

Cyraqs:  This guy don't know much about sex.  I gaurantee you don't get board 
with that.  However there is such a thing as an escallation...
Vegita:  C'mon man we don't need a lesson in sex ed here.

>Of course, this was straight down. He rubbed his 
>hands over the creaminess of her legs

Vegita:  What?  You mean he's already...
Megatron:  <quickly muffles him>
Vegita:  MMMFFFPPP!

> and slowly moved up her 
>skirt. After about two minutes he discovered her panties. They
>were soaking wet and hot.

Galactus:  She pissed her pants?
Others:  <Sweatdrop>
Cyraqs:  Not exacly.

>His fingers poked the crotch of the panties, 
>this resulted in a loud moan from Ayeka. 

Cyraqs:  What an amature!  You need at least 10 more minuets of foreplay before 
you even get down there.  And once there...
Vegita:  Shut up!  We don't want to hear about the best way to feel a girl up.
Galactus:  Why not?  A few of us here could use some info.
All but Galactus:  Says who?
Galactus:  Well...uhh....

>He pulled back, "I didn't hurt you did I?".

Vegita:  Usually that question is asked afterwards.

> He had seen a little 
>bit of the act of sex on videos, but he did not know how a
>Juraian would handle it.

Q:  <Dark Helmet>  I see your schwartz is as big as mine.  Now let's see how 
well you *handle* it.

>Ayeka looked at him longingly, "Good God no! Please continue Lord 
>Tenchi.". 

Cyraqs:  Well that at least was somewhat in character.

>At this Ayeka grabbed her panties and drew them off. She spread
>her legs revealing a tight pussy that would make any
>heterosexual) man drool and beg.

Q:  Go fetch boy!
Cyraqs:  That was sick Q.
Vegita:  I thought this fic was supposed to be torture though.
Q:  Not sure.  Maybe something will happen later.

> Tenchi took this in some stride however, 

Cyraqs:  I hate to say it, but even now Tenchi would most likely not take it in 
stride.
Vegita:  <grinning evilly> No, but Ayeka sure is.
Galactus:   <Thumps Vegita>
Vegita:  Hey!

>and just dove in with all his passion. 

Q:  My she must have a really big...<stops himself> I think I better not go 
there.
Cyraqs:  Good plan.

>He licked her as deep as he could, the flavor was wonderful to
>him. He dug his fingers in and out of the orifice bringing on a
>deluge of slippery liquid.

Megatron:  <Weatherman> And todays forcast; Hot with a slippery deluge!

>Ayeka was by no means inactive all this time. Her bucking and
>moaning was enough to wake the dead.

Megatron:<Priest>You said the words exactly?
Vegita:<Ash>Well not every last sylabal...
Megatron:<Priest>Damnit, you woke the army of the dead!

>Tenchi found he was so hard it hurt.

All: <Sympathy groan>

>He would have to do something with it soon or he thought he would
>explode.

Galactus:  That would at least be entertaining.

>He pulled his pants down around his ankles. Having done this he
>ceased his tongue lashing.

Vegita:  Isn't Ayeka more into lashing?
Cyraqs:  Yeah.  She puts my sister to shame when it comes to the S&M.
Galactus:  And how would you know?
Cyraqs:  Let's just say a certain blue-headed divinity who is an aquaintence of 
mine is a fairly well learned student of Ayeka's.  At least as far as theories 
go.  <Murmurs softly>  I was the target for actual practice.
Megatron:  <Sympathetic>I feel for you man.

>Ayeka lay panting heavily. Tenchi moved up to stare into her
>eyes. She stared back planting a kiss on the tip of his nose.
>Tenchi's manhood found Ayeka's hole and "knocked on the door" so
>to speak. 

Galactus:  Knock, Knock.
Others:  Who's there?
Galactus:  <Scowling> You guys would want me to continue that joke wouldn't you?

>Ayeka's eyes went wide and her head shot back.

Vegita and Cyraqs:  <Evil Laugh>
Others:   <Sweat Drop>

>Tenchi backed off a bit, frustrated. A moment later Ayeka looked
>at him once more. Grimacing, she pushed herself onto him. He felt
>wonderful.

Vegita:  <Eyes Wide>  DAMN!  That lady must seriously like pain!  <Looks at 
Cyraqs>.
Cyraqs:  Hey don't look at me!
Q:  You do seem to be the resident expert, you know.

>It was so warm and tight.

All:  <Smile knowingly>

>Within minutes Tenchi felt himself release inside of her.

Megatron:  No TOLLERANCE!
Vegita:  Yeah, No shit man.

>He almost thought he saw colors

Cyraqs: <Stoner>  Colors are soooo pretty.
Q:  Yeah you would know, wouldn't you?
Cyraqs:  Well...uh...Hey!

>as pain and joy made its way from his crotch to his fingertips.
>Ayeka herself was having a wonderful time as well. It seemed the
>earlier discomfort had subsided and was replaced by absolute
>bliss. 

Galactus:  <Al Pachino>  How about bliss on tap?

>Tenchi was glad, and he went into it again with renewed vigor. 
>Soon, he had built up yet again and let loose. Ayeka was almost 
>screaming in pleasure as she tried to eat his face.

Galactus:  Oh god...<turns green at the thought>
Q:  <To himself> Yesss.  He will be first.

>Worn out and spent,

Megatron:  Doesn't that kinda amount to the same thing?
Cyraqs:  Not quite.  One is lack of energy.  The other is lack of materials.
Megatron:  <nodding>  I see.  Thanks for clearing that up.

>they lay next to each other in the cool grass gasping for 
>breath. Tenchi had the sudden craving for a sandwich.

Megatron:  <Stallone> Yeah....children and a desire to raid the fridge.  
<Himself>  Course I don't know if you could with your face eaten and all.
Galactus:  <Looking really green>  Please don't remind me of that part.
Others:  <Evil Grins>

>He looked at Ayeka, she almost glowed. "You know, you don't have
>to call me 'Lord' Tenchi."
>She turned her head toward him, "I know, but it just seems right. 
>Someday you will be Emperor, you know.".

Cyraqs:  Now that would be a trick.  Asuza would fight that tooth and nail.
Megatron:  Really?
Cyraqs:  I'm pretty sure.  Though where I come from Tenchi has a pair so I don't 
know how it would turn out.

>"Hmm... I'm not sure I want that job. What I do know is that I 
>never want to leave you ever again."

Vegita:  <Ash>  Gimme some sugar baby!

>Ayeka beamed at him and put her arm around his waist. She pulled
>up along side of him and began to kiss his ear softly. "My
>sentiments exactly."  Something struck Tenchi.

Q: <Ayeka slaping Tenchi>  OH LOOK!  YOU MADE A MESS OF MY HAIR!

>What was he going to say to everyone? At 
>more thought he realized he did not care.

Cyraqs:  That's completely outta character.  He would care!  That's why he 
hasn't made a descision.  That's the point of the whole fucking series!
Galactus:  <Still green and now holding a bowl> So far the author hasn't much 
cared about that.
Cyraqs:  <Thoughtful>  That's true.  Gotta admit though; one piece of ass and he 
just falls all over it.
Megatron:  That is pretty shallow of him.

>He loved Ayeka and there 
>was nothing he or anyone was going to do about that. A more 
>frightening thought crossed his mind, and was almost expelled for 
>being to terrifying. However, the thought made itself apparent
>when his mouth moved and the words flew across his lips, "What if
>I just got you pregnant?"

All:  <Eyes wide; jaws drop>  OH SHIT!!!!

>Ayeka chuckled softly, "No need to worry about that. Juraian women 
>only have a one weed period every year that they may conceive a 
>child. It is quite a festival on my planet when the queen is in 
>this period. Mine does not come for another two months."

Megatron:  <Stoner>  Hey man, you got some weed?
Vegita:<Stoner Asuza>Damnit man, I only get weed once a year!
Galactus:  Well she did say it was one big festival; maybe it's all he can 
handle.
Vegita: <Remebering a certain picture in Nobiyuki's archive>  Maybe more than 
they all can handle.
Cyraqs:  <Murmuring> Oh is that the reason...
Q:  What was that?
Cyraqs:  <Smiling>  Oh nothing.

>This eased his mind enormously. As well as initiating yet another 
>thought, this one much more palatable. "You mean we can do this 
>over and over again for months without worrying?"

All:  <ROFL>

>"Yep." Ayeka answered blowing in his ear.
>Both of them arose and got dressed. They figured they shouldn't 
>tell anyone of their actions today. So they were going to walk
>back different ways.
>Ayeka looked up, "Come back her tomorrow at eight."
>Tenchi looked at her confused, "What happens at eight?"

Vegita:  He CANNOT be that clueless!
Cyraqs:  I don't know.  He can be pretty bad at times.
Vegita:  Yeah.  But not this BAD!  Kakarotto isn't even this fucking mindless!

>Ayeka smiled, "Something wonderful."
>At that she walked of into the woods leaving Tenchi staring after
>her. He would definitely be back here tomorrow!

Q:  Oh yes Mistress!  I will be back tomorrow!

>Then he stared back 
>at the temple, he figured he would face his grandfather first. His 
>stroll through the woods was uneventful, leaving him to reflect on 
>what just happened. It had been amazing! Nothing would ever compare 
>to that moment again, he was sure of that.

Vegita:  <Knowingly>  You'd be surprised Tenchi.

>His body still felt hers 
>against it as he walked into the temple. His grandfather was still 
>sitting in front of the table. What did that old man do all day? 
>Just sit there?

Megatron:  Yep just sits there and Jerks...
Galactus:  <Leaps up and chokes Megatron>  If I can't go there neither can you!
Megatron:  <Choking>  K...Gotcha...You...can...let...go...now...

>Tenchi sat down next to Yosho.
>"So, Tenchi my boy, did the answer come to you?" Asked his 
>grandfather.

Vegita:  <classic Vegita smirk> Oh it 'came' alright.
Q:  Vegita!
Vegtia:  <cringes>  Sorry.

>Tenchi coughed, "As a matter of fact, it did, grandpa.".
>"Good, so what is the verdict?"
>"Ayeka." The name was as honey to him as he said it.

Vegita:  <Smirking> Honey huh?
Galactus:  <To Vegita> I can choke you too you know.

>"Oh?" Yosho perked up at hearing this, "Why?"
>"Your going to question it, when you wanted us together in the 
>first place?"

Cyraqs:  That might be the first intelligent thing this fic has stated.
Galactus:  Not that that is any great feat.

>"Hmm... I suppose not. Well, good luck."

Megatron:  Too late.  Already got lucky.

>"For what?"
>"For your journey ahead, both with Ayeka, and the other women."
>"What about the other women?"
>"Your going to have to tell them you don't want them anymore. I 
>don't think Ryoko is going to take this lightly."

Cyraqs:  Grrrr...He's going to break her heart...grrrr
Others:  <Look warily at Cyraqs>

>Tenchi looked at the floor. He hated the thought of hurting Ryoko, 
>but he couldn't think of any way around it. "What am I going to 
>do?"

Cyraqs:  If this ever honestly happened?  Die horribly.

>Yosho didn't answer. After a moment Tenchi got up and started 
>toward the house. He was not going to enjoy the next few hours.

Cyraqs:  O.K.  That's the end of part one.  I thought this was supposed to 
toture us.
Q:  It was.  Maybe something in part two will do it.
Galactus:  You don't even know what's on this tape?
Q:  No.  I was just guaranteed by a very reliable source that it would work.
Vegita:  So far I haven't seen shit that would justify actual pain.  Unless you 
count the shitty writing, and bad lemon scene.
Megatron:  Wasn't that the entire content of the story?
Vegita:  <turning slightly greenish>  Ugh!  You're right!
Q:  Oh well on with part 2.

>"Feeling a need for Tenchi."

Vegita:  Yeah I'll bet she's feeling a need for Tenchi.

>Tenchi Muyo! "Lemon that isn't lemon" series, Volume 2
>By: Phillip Masters

>Tenchi had arrived at the house in short order. Now, he snuck about 
>it again not quite wanting to meet anyone. Except maybe Ayeka, but 
>he didn't know where she was. He was about two feet from his 
>bedroom when Ryoko lept out in front of him. He jumped into the 
>air about four feet.
>"Hi, Tenchi, where have you been all day? I've been looking 
>everywhere for you."

Megatron:  <Tenchi>  I just bumped Ayeka and now it's your turn wench!
Cyraqs:  Actually that would probably turn her on.

> Ryoko stated as Tenchi caught his breath.
>"He... Hey, Ryoko, I've been meditating in the forest.

Vegita:  That was SOME meditation.  Left him feeling totally relaxed.
Q: That is the normal reaction to those stimulai.

> What have 
>you been up to? Besides looking for me, that is."
>"Well... I helped Sasami in the kitchen until I got kicked out. 
>Then I went to see what Washu was up to, and almost got fried,
>twice."

Galactus:  <singing>  Kentucky fried chicken; we do chicken right!
Vegita:  How did I know he was going to say that?
Megatron:  The guy eats worlds and you had to ask that question?

>"Sounds like your usual, productive day."

Q:  <smirking>Depends on what your producing.
Galactus:  I won't read too much into that statement.
Q:  <Classic Vegita grin>

>"Well, now that your back, maybe we could do something together."
>"Uuum... not now Ryoko. Maybe later, OK?"
>"Aaw... come on Tenchi, just for a few minutes.

Megatron:  Trust me.  That's all the time you need.
All:  heh.

> You never want to be with me."
>Tenchi looked into Ryoko's pitiful face. Could he do it? Could he 
>destroy her like this? He didn't see any other way. "Ryoko?"
>She looked at him with baleful eyes. "Yes, Tenchi?"
>"Maybe we should talk for a moment. Come into my room.

Vegita:  Yes you will be coming in my room n...<Suddenly hit with a  salsa 
container>
Cyraqs:  Come on. I think we're trying to retain at least a modium of civility 
here.
Vegita:  <grumbling> I'll get you later.

>Ryoko followed Tenchi into his room, he shut the door behind them.
>(NOTE: For those of you who wanted Ryoko to win, or for those of 
>you who do not care. I will skip the sentimental and painful 
>dialouge. You can make up your own here if you really wish to.)

All:  <Dumbfounded>
<After a moment>
Galactus:  I can't believe that stupid...
Vegita:  Why that dirty...
Megatron:  Fucking copping out mother...
Q:  Where the hell does he get off...
Cyraqs:  KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL!!!!!!!
Vegita:  <To Galactus>  Still got that name handy?
Galactus:  Yep.
Vegita:  What say after this is over we skip on over to his dimension and send 
him to another one?
Galactus:  <Looking at Vegita strangely>  You got it again didn't you.
Vegita:  <Thinks for a second>  And while we're at it, we'll take out that damn 
censor too!

>Ryoko came out of Tenchi's room in tears. She ran down the stairway 
>and out into the woods. Tenchi felt terrible, but relieved that he 
>had done it. He left his room, and found Ryo-ohki sitting next to 
>his door. 
>The small cabbit looked up at him with large yellow eyes, "Meow.".
>Tenchi smiled and picked him up. He scratched Ryo-ohki's belly 
>until she was purring with contentment.

Cyraqs:  The Hell!  She would not be purring with contentment!  She is 
psychically a part of sis!  I guarantee she would be pissed as hell!
Q:  Chill out man.  It's just a story...I think.

> He walked down the stairs, at the bottom he found Sasami. 
>"Hello, Tenchi!" Sasami cried, her usual gleeful self.

Vegita:  I must admit this guy REALLY doesn't think too much of the family 
relationships here.
Megatron:  Yeah, you'd think Sasami would be really pissed at him for hurting 
Ryouko.
Cyraqs:  And believe me it's trully a terrible thing when she is pissed at you!
Galactus:  <Grinning> Spoken like a man who knows.
Cyraqs:  <Totally serious>Damn straight!

>"Hello, Sasami, what are you doing?"
>Ryo-ohki jumped from Tenchi's hand and ran up to the top of 
>Sasami's head. There he perched smiling. Man, Tenchi thought, she 
>looks so cute like that.

Cyraqs:  Yes.  She is.  And you better just keep those thoughts like that.
Vegita:  <To Q>  You don't think this author would involve a little girl in his 
sick and twisted fantasy do you?
Q:  <To Vegita>  I don't think so.  That would be too much even for me!

>"I heard about you and my sister, she came home a half hour ago."

Galactus:  Oh so she came at home huh?
Cyraqs:  I think we're getting a little outta hand with the orgasm jokes here.
Vegita:  We have not yet begun to COME up with these jokes!
Others:  <Groan>

>"Oh! Are you alright with this?"
>"Of course I am silly, I just can't wait now until its my turn!"

All:  WHAT THE FUCK?!!!

>"Your... your turn?"
>"Yes! In Juraian culture, it is traditional for the Emporer to
>have a child by all the females of age that have not had one yet.
>And are in the royal blood line."

All but Cyraqs:  <Look at Cyraqs>
Cyraqs:  I'm not...not...sure...<Pulls out a copy of Tenchi 101 and starts 
reading it.>

>"Well, on my planet, that would be highly unusual."
>"Well, that dosn't much matter now, does it. You are with your own 
>great-aunt as it is, you realize."

Q:  <Jeff Foxworthy> If your family tree does not branch...
Megatron:  You might be a crappy lemon writer.

>Tenchi thought about that for a minute. Then he got a headache and 
>stopped. "Yea, well I guess I have to change a lot of things now, 
>huh?"

Vegita:  Folded like a set of cards.

>Sasami nodded to him smiling. "You really should see Jurai 
>sometime, you'd never want to leave it."

Galactus:  Didn't stop you though did it?

>"Anywhere your sister is, is where I want to be."
>"Of course, and that is where I will be as well!" With this,
>Sasami skipped off into the kitchen once more.
>Tenchi watched her go. He shook his head, was she kidding? How 
>could he cheat on Ayeka with her own sister.

Vegita:  <To Cyraqs>  Eight years old you said?
Cyraqs:  <To Vegita>  Yep.
Vegita:  <Slightly green> That's what I thought you said.
Others:  <Turning other colors>  Ugh!

>But Yosho was Ayeka's half brother, and therefore his great-aunt.
>This did not bother him one bit. However, Sasami must be right
>about Juraian culture for his family line to work. He was next in 
>line for the throne of Jurai. It made his head hurt to think of it
>for any period of time. 

Q:  Like that takes any effort.

>As Tenchi was thinking of switching on the TV, two arms wrapped 
>around him from behind. Tenchi proceeded to grace the air with his 
>presence once more. In mid leap he spun on whoever had scared the 
>crap out of him. When he arrived on the floor again two bright 
>purple eyes awaited him. A pair of lips greeted his. At last his 
>brain connected all of the input on who was in front of him.

Vegita:  I always like it when that happens.
Cyraqs:  <Oblivious and slightly Euphoric>  Yeah.  Know what you mean.
All but Vegita and Cyraqs:  Whipped!

>He 
>kissed her back, it was the greatest feeling. To kiss the woman he 
>loved, nothing could make him more content. They pulled away after 
>a while, Ayeka asked Tenchi, "I noticed Ryoko when I came back in, 
>she did not look happy. You told her didn't you?".

Galactus:  No I stole her truck and killed her cabbit!  Any other dumb fuck 
questions?

>Tenchi nodded, "Do you think she will be alright?".
>Ayeka looked down at the floor, "I'm not sure. I hope she will get 
>over it.".
>"Time heals all wounds."

Megatron:  Screw this!  I can't take it any more!  Vegita prepare to receive!
Vegita:  Standing by!
<Megatron Transforms his hand held Walter P-38 handgun mode.  Vegita catches him 
in mid air and opens fire on the TV.  No damage is apparent.>
Megatron and Vegita:  What the hell?
Q:  Glad I listened to that guy about forcefields.
Others:  <Munching on some chips>

>Ayeka looked up at him again, the gaze she gave him melted his 
>heart. "Yes, but scars can remain forever."
>Tenchi hugged Ayeka, there was no more to say. They comforted each 
>other as they were supposed to. Their efforts met with mixed 
>success. Even though they were happy together, neither of them 
>liked to hurt others.

Vegita:  I thought Ayeka was into the S&M.
Cyraqs:  Yes.  She is.
Vegita:  I also thought she really liked hurting Ryouko whenever she could.  
Like that time they were in the baths...
Cyraqs:  <Nodding>There have been a few discussions on that subject.
Vegita:  Hmmm. <Notices Galactus writing again>  What are you doing?
Galactus:  Just counting up how many times he's written them out of character.
Vegita:  How many you got so far?
Galactus:  <Looks at page that looks like one big ink blotch>  
Ehh...heh..heh..well <Throws page into subspace> Never mind.

>It seemed to be a necissary evil. They 
>seperated leaving each others warmth. The world seemed so cold when 
>they were apart. They exchanged one last glance that projected a 
>conversation in a split second. Then, Ayeka went up to her room. 
>Tenchi stood at the foot of the stair, having watched her leave.  He 
>sat on the couch and picked up the remote. He hadn't gotten through 
>more than five minutes of the program he was watching, when Sasami 
>called all for dinner. He jumped up, starved. He had done some 
>strenuous activities today,

Vegita:  That's cause you have NO ENDURANCE!

>he was ready to eat. In the kitchen sat 
>Sasami, who smiled up at him. A minute later, Ayeka came in. The 
>three of them sat down around the table. Last, was Ryo-ohki, who 
>promply jumped up on the table with a carrot in her mouth.
>Everyone sat for a moment. 

Megatron:  Then they cleared off the table and had a massive org...
Cyraqs:  <Strangling him again>  How many times?
Megatron:  <Choking> O.K.....You...can...let...me...go...now
...please!

>Then Tenchi broke the silence, "Where is everyone else?".
>Ayeka told him Mihoshi and Kihone had been recalled to Galaxy 
>Police Headquarters.

Q:  Isn't that just too convenient?

>They all knew where Ryoko was. Well, not her 
>exact location, but they knew why she was not here. Tenchi figured 
>his grandfather was doing whatever he did up at the temple.

Vegita:  <Evil Laugh>
Others:  <Sweat Drop>

>Sasami figured Washu was stuck in some kind of experiment, or
>another dimention, or something.

Vegita:  <Jumping up and going SSJ>  Who sent her to another dimension?  I'll 
send them to one too!
Galactus:  I don't think they meant it that way.
Vegita:  <Thoughtful>  Oh.

>They all chuckled at that. 
>"So it's just the three of us?" Ayeka commented.

Cyraqs:  That better not have sounded like I think it just did.

>Ryo-ohki meowed at the end of the table, looking up from her 
>carrot.
>"OK, the four of us." Ayeka corrected with a grin.
>Ryo-ohki meowed louder and continued full tilt on the carrot.

Megatron:  Wow.  Now that's an interesting use of a carrot.
Cyraqs:  Megatron that was increadibly sick!
Megatron:  <Grinning>  Fun though.

>"I think it's quite convenient actually, now we can talk about the 
>Mak-tik." Said Ayeka to the other two.

Cyraqs:  <Thumbing through Tenchi 101>
Others:  Well?
Cyraqs:  I'm looking, I'm looking.
Q:  Actually I think it's safe to say this author is making this shit up as he 
goes.
Vegita:  You mean he has that much of an imagination?
Q:  Maybe he had an editor?
Galactus:  You mean there might be others like him out there?
Others:  <Go into convulsions at the thought>
Q:  <To himself>  Who needs the tape?  They're doing it to themselves.

>Sasami smiled, Tenchi looked uterly confused, "The what-tik?".
>Ayeka explained, "The mak-tik is a ritual that all Juraians go 
>through to announce life bondage with a mate. The royal family does 
>this slightly differently than normal folk.

Vegita:  What Upsidown and up the...
Cyraqs:  If I were you I'd refrain from completing that thought.
Vegita:  <Cringing>  No prob...

>We of the royal blood 
>line do not mate with only one, for this would not generate a 
>diverse enough selection of heirs to the throne. The royal blood 
>line must be preserved in itself. We in the royal blood line bond 
>with our first choice. Then, are bonded secondarily with the rest 
>of the legitemate females in the line. In this case, it is Sasami 
>that you must secondarily bond with."

Cyraqs:  <Gritting his teeth>  If he goes there....
Others:  <Back away slowly>

>Tenchi took all of this in. A thought crossed his mind. "OK, first 
>how do I bond primarily with you?"
>"You already did, your seed was placed in me. This is the 
>traditional bonding ritual. In two months I will bear another of 
>the royal blood line. Our child."

Vegita:  Now he's contradicting his own story!  First she said he didn't knock 
her up and now she's saying in two months he's going to be a daddy!
Q:  I think this is where we smile and nod folks.
Others:  Uh...Yeah...

>Tenchi gulped at this, but figured he would burn this bridge whene 
>he came to it. "Alright, then what do I do to bond to Sasami?"
>Ayeka looked at him, "The same thing.".

Cyraqs:  There is only one thing that can save this worthless excuse of an 
authors life now!
Megatron:  <to himself>  I'm going to regret asking this... <To Cyraqs>  How?
Cyraqs:  <Eyes glowing black>  Let's see what he does first.

>Tenchi guaged her seriousness for a moment before commenting. "You 
>mean I have to have sex with Sasami?"

Vegita:  First he has no clue and now he has one?
Q:  Remember; smile and nod.

>"Not quite."

All:  Whew!

>Tenchi's heart stopped racing for a moment. Ayeka continued, "You 
>must consumate with both of us. Me being your primary, I must be
>in witness to the act. This usually means participation by all 
>parties."

Galactus:  Wait a minute; didn't he just...
Cyraqs:  <Menacing>  Let's find out.

>Tenchi's heart almost gave out on him. He pounded his chest a few 
>times. He looked back and forth between the smiling faces of Ayeka 
>and Sasami. This was almost to weird for even him. How could he 
>have an orgy with his great-aunts, and one of them being the 
>equivilent of a thirteen year old? 

Cyraqs:  Still too fucking young.  If he goes there...
Others:  <Turning real green>
Q:  She's just a kid!

>Maybe he should have taken his grandfathers advice and became a monk.

Cyraqs:  Yes and then your life will be spared!
Q:  Whoa man!  <Hands him a cup of something>  Drink up.
Cyraqs:  What is it?
Q:  Not too sure.  Tell me what you think.
Cyraqs:  <Drinks it.  Eyes loose focus.>  Whaooo.  Thish shum good shit!
Vegita:  <To Q> What was that?
Q:  <To Vegita>  Enough narcotics to kill around fifty thousand planets.
Vegita:  <Hopefull>  Can I get some of that later?
Q:  <Sweatdrop>  Well...uhhh....

> At least he shouldn't have 
>opened the gate on that damn cave! None of this would have
>happened if he had left well enough alone. Then, he looked a
>Ayeka. He couldn't continue thinking of a world without her, it
>was to unbearable.
>Ayeka put her hand on his leg, "Don't worry darling, we have ways 
>of making you forget about your Earthly morals.".

Galactus:  <Mob boss> We have ways of insuring your compliance.  Yo Viney.
Megatron:  <Viney>  What's up boss?
Galactus:  Tell him what's going to happen to him?
Megatron:  Yuse going to be watching all of the Barney movie 24 hours for a 
whole week!
Others:  NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

>Tenchi was afraid to ask, but Ayeka answered his unvoiced query, 
>"We have a special aphrodesiac, one whiff and you wont be able to 
>resist either of us.".

Cyraqs:  <Suddenly sober again>  He's going to go there isn't he?
Vegita:  <To Q>  I thought you said that was potent stuff?
Q:  <To Vegita>  But it was!  There is no way he could've come out of it 
already!
Vegita:  <Impressed.>That guy must have some tollerance.  Still I must ask...he 
told Ryouko (a lady who has tits that stay up despite all known physical laws) 
off and now he's going to have an orgy with Ayeka and a girl barely formed?!
Q:  <Thinks for a sec>  Maybe he just likes small tits.
Cyraqs:  <Eye beginning to glow red>  Then he would be in for a big surprise 
when she grows up.
Vegita:  <Lustful smile>  Yes he would...
Cyraqs:  She's mine asshole.
Vegita:  <Raises hands>  Only pointing out the obvious.

>Tenchi thought about it a moment. Well, he would have to at least 
>try this ritual of theirs. 

Megatron:  Who'd have thought Tenchi was a Pediphile?
Galactus:  Obviously this author.
Vegita:  My only question is what's Tsunami thinking through all this?
Q:  Dont' know.
<All turn to Cyraqs>
Cyraqs: <Mouthing>  Gonna kill him...Gonna kill him...
Others: uhoh.

>It was after all his heritage too. He 
>knodded his head, "When are we going to attempt this?".
>"I think tomorrow at eight still sounds good to me, how about you 
>Sasami?"
>Sasami stared at her sister, "Sounds good to me sis. I'll make
>sure to wear something... interesting.".

Vegita:  <Jumping up, going into a ki blasing stance, and going SSJ>  KAME....
Q:  He doesn't usually use that attack does he?
Galactus: Nope.

>Before Tenchi could comment, Sasami rose and left the dining room. 
>Ayeka turned to him and planted a kiss on his cheek. Then, she to, 
>left the room. Tenchi sat alone for a moment before rising
>himself. He retired to bed, quickly falling asleep. He wished
>Ayeka were here to lie next to.

Vegita:  HAME...

>The next day was farily uneventful. Washu, who had gotten wind of 
>the bonding, came to Tenchi. She simply wished him good luck. He 
>wished her better luck next time. She nodded her head. He asked if 
>she was leaving.
>Washu grinned, "Of course not, you are still my little guinea pig. 
>Regardless of who has you caged.".

Q:  He really don't care about family relationships in this does he?  I don't 
think Washuu would be very happy with him.
Vegita:  HAAAAAA!!!!!!
Others:  Oh shit!
<All cover their eyes as a ki of tremendous power trys to fry the TV.  As before 
no effect.>
Vegita:  Damnit!

>Tenchi smiled, for once he didn't mind one bit being her 
>experiment. The clock announced the arrival of 7:00. Tenchi looked 
>at it, so soon? Time flies when you are staring into the eyes of 
>fate.

Galactus:  <Looking real sick>  Man...don't know how long I can...<Holding bowl 
close>
Q:  <To himself>  As predicted.  <Looks at others who are in not much better 
condition>  Heh.  Not too much longer.  <Feels his own gorge rising>  For any of 
us.  <Grabs his own bowl>.

>He gathered himself, and headed out the back door. He walked 
>through the woods, it was getting dark. He figured the dark was the 
>best location for what was about to take place. He should really 
>consider himself lucky. In Earthly culture this was expressly 
>forbidden, except in a few places. He was living the dream of many 
>men,

Cyraqs:  <Looking ill and grasping bowl tightly> And I'll send those men to hell 
along with you!

>he should feel honored. He arrived at Yosho's life-tree. Ayeka 
>stood in front of it with a look of patience on her face. He
>walked up to her, she smiled at him.

Megatron:  <To everyone else>  Well shall we?
Others:  <Shrug>
All:  Bumpchitty bow bow...

>She turned around, and tapped on the tree in a certain pattern.
>She turned back to him explaining that all trees were equiped to
>accomodate this ritual. The familiar 
>muti-color beams of light were emited from the tree leaves. But 
>this time, the trunk seemed to epand to encompass the whole 
>clearing. Tenchi and Ayeka were left standing in a large, dimly lit 
>room. In the center lay a large bed. The whole setup reminded 
>Tenchi of a "makeout hotel".

Vegita:  Wish I had access to one of those whenever I wanted.
Galactus:  Yes that is rather convenient I must admit.

>He could see the appeal as he looked 
>about the interior of the tree. He noticed something important was 
>amiss. He turned to Ayeka, "Where is Sasami, shouldn't she be here 
>by now?".

All but Cyraqs:  <Notice a slight hum from somewhere.  Then turn to see Cyraqs 
saying something over and over.>
Cyraqs:  Kill him...going to fucking kill him....

>As if by magic, Sasami walked into the tree. Tenchi turned to her, 
>his jaw dropped to the floor. Sasami was wearing, nothing as far
>as he could tell.

All:  Oh GROSS!
Galactus:  Don't know if I can...<Get's ready to hurl>

>However, she had let her hair down. It draped about 
>her like a cloak, a light blue, ever shifting, beautiful cloak. 

Vegita:  If this were Tsunami I could understand the appeal.
Q:  <Looking real ill>  Or a grow up Sasami.  Anything, but THIS!
Galactus:  <Face turning red> Not going to...

>Tenchi's heart skipped a beat. Even Ayeka gasped at the sight of 
>her younger sister. "How do I look?" Sasami asked of them.

Galactus:  <Power pukes a couple of worlds into his bowl, in a most gut 
wrenching and sloshingly disgusting sound.>
Others:  <Barely refrain from the same thing.>

>"Bea... beautiful." Ayeka said as her gaze was locked upon her.
>Tenchi just nodded in agreement as he was entranced by the shifting 
>mass of hair. Curves appeared and dissapeared as Sasami made her 
>way across the room. Just whene there was the promise of seeing 
>something, a group of hairs would slide in the way. It was the most 
>sensual sight either of the others had witnessed.

Megatron:  Oh Primus!  <Upchucks into his bowl>
Others:  <Still barely maintaining their composure.>

>Sasami arrived at 
>the bed, and sat on it. She beckoned for the other two to join >her. 

Cyraqs:  <Getting very angry>  Going to kill...

>Tenchi snapped out of his trance, no matter how appealing, this was 
>still a little girl. Although this fact was not a deeply lodged in 
>his mind anymore for sure.

Vegita:  Dies slow and painful...<Stray thought>  Should have brought Piccolo; 
that would be entertainment.  <Barely refrains from laughing.>

>Ayeka looked over at him, and walked to 
>the perimeter of the room. Once there she fiddled with something on 
>the wall. Almost instantly, a light sweet smell filled the room. 
>Tenchi inhaled deeply of the misty substance. He felt warmth spread 
>inside him. He also felt himself harden to the max. This was potent 
>stuff!

Megatron:  <Cheech>  Hey man!  This be some good shit!

>He felt the need to procreate, now! He saw Ayeka and Sasami, 
>they both looked so good to him. Ayeka pulled a string around her 
>waist. Her dress fell off to reveal a lace, crotchless teddy. 

Galactus:  That scene almost kills my nausea.

>Tenchi literally drooled as his gaze bounced between the two 
>perfect specimens of female before him.

Galactus:  'till he did that!

>He almost ripped his 
>clothes off. Now it was Sasami's turn to gasp as Tenchi's full on 
>chubby broke free of its prison.

Cyraqs:  That is somehting I DON'T need to see!

>Ayeka led Tenchi by the hand over 
>to the bed. She sat next to Sasami. Then, she put Tenchi erect 
>penis into her warm mouth. Sasami picked up on the idea and licked 
>Techi around the scrotum.

Vegita:  Oh my god!  <Pukes>
Megatron and Galactus:  <Still rather green>
Cyraqs and Q:  <Cyraqs is glowing red and Q looks ill>

> Tenchi's breathing got heavier as they 
>increased their efforts. Sasami soon found Ayeka's hand rubbing >her 
>leg. Sasami returned the favor, and took it a step farther. Soon, 
>both of them were rubbing each other in the crotch.

Q:  Oh Christ!  <Looses it>

> All three of 
>them were getting very hot and very wet. Tenchi could feel himself 
>building up to climax. A moment later he let loose in the two 
>girls faces.

All:  Oh sweet Jesus!  <All are almost dead>

>They both eagerly slurped up the fluid as it continued to 
>spill on them. Ayeka grabbed Sasami's legs and spread them in
>front of Tenchi.

Cyraqs:  He's gonna...
Q:  C'mon, he won't...
Galactus:  Yep...
Vegita:  To a kid?  <Looks at Megatron>  You alright man?
Megatron:  <Eyes dimmed>  Not re..rea..really.

> Tenchi took this as an invitation and dove in. His dick 
>penetrated deep into Sasami. She outright screamed in pain.

Cyraqs:  I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!<Jumps up and cosmically blasts the general 
area!>KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL
!KILL!KILL!KILL!  I WILL VISIT A TORMENT ON HIM THAT WILL MAKE LISTENING TO 
MINMEI COMPARABLE TO HEAVEN!!!! I WILL....<Trails off as Q and the others 
wrestle him to the ground.  The video FF continues..>

>A tear 
>formed in her eye and her breathing became labored. Ayeka wiped 
>away her tear and comforted her by suckling one of her sisters 
>nipples.

<They all are continuing to try to restrain Cyraqs while he keeps cursing and 
throwing out the occasional blast.  Their wresting moves all over the house; 
upturning furniture, destroying the general area.  Surprisingly the TV remains 
untouched.>

>Soon Sasami settled into more steady breathing as Tenchi 
>continued the rhythm. He felt himself rise to another climax as he 
>pushed in and out of Sasami's tight, slick pussy. He exploded 
>inside of her with a load that challenged the first. A moment >later 
>Sasami bucked with an orgasm of her own. Akeka was having her own 
>little party as she had placed herself over Sasami's mouth, and 
>Sasami was only to happy to lend her tongue.

<Finally they got Cyraqs pinned to the ground and from nowhere Q pulled out a 
syringe and injected it's contents into Cyraqs.>

>As Tenchi pulled out 
>of Sasami, she was practically drinking the constant flow Ayeka was 
>providing. Tenchi moved up onto the bed and grabbed Ayeka next. She 
>let herself be pulled up to him, doggie style. She let a little 
>squeal as Tenchi thrust into her from behind, repeatedly. There was 
>no way Sasami was going to become idle this whole time. She placed 
>her love nest in the appropriate location for Ayeka's tongue to 
>roost. This mutual exchange of pleasure went on until everyone had 
>yet again reached their peak. Now, spent, they all lay next to each 
>other. Sasami and Ayeka's hair acting as a purple and blue sheet 
>over all of them. Soon they were all very content, very happy, and 
>very asleep. 

<Others panting heavily as Cyraqs starts to mumble something about pretty 
colors.>
Vegita:  <Fried and hair sticking up> That was totally uncool.
Megatron:  <Looking like he did after his fight with Optimus in Transformers the 
Movie>  Agreed.
Cyraqs:  prettyy...prettty...butterflies...
Galactus:  <Armor cracked and not wearing his helmet>  Damn...What's in that 
stuff?
Q:  Uhhh...you don't want to know.  <Glances over at TV>  Looks like we missed 
the rest of the lemon scene.
All:  Thank GOD!
Q:  Though it appears that there is still more on the tape.  <Grins Evilly>  You 
know what that means right?
Vegita:  We all puked!  We are in pain!  What more do you want?!
Q:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Yes, but the terms of the bet state that you must see it 
in it's entirety before you go!
Galactus:  No more!  Anything!
Q:  Never!  You must stay or be forever considered a weakling!  <Others appear 
to be considering it.>  You can't be serious?!
<They appear to think it through, finally resolving it in their heads.>
Megatron:  Fine!  Let's get this over with!
All:  <Right the furniture; putting Cyraqs in the chair to drool on himself.  
All look at him enviously.>

>"Tenchi who?"

Vegita:  Good question.  I'd like to know who he's writing about myself.

>Tenchi Muyo! "Lemon that isn't lemon" series, Volume 3
>By: Phillip Masters

>Ryoko had made her way to downtown Tokyo. She was depressingly 
>roaming the shops. Tenchi couldn't have picked that Juraian >whore 
>instead of her, she was thinking. 

Galactus:  No I think the author picked her as a matter of fact.  Then Tenchi 
goes off and bops both princesses while your mother...
Q:  We don't need a recap Galacuts.
Galactus:  Sorry.
Cyraq: <Stoned> Innagadadavida...

>Why? Why not me? What makes her 
>so much more appealing? Too many questions assaulted her as she 
>walked down one road and the next, aimlessly She stopped in 

Megatron:  How do you aimlessly stop?
Vegita:  Ever seen sailor Moon?
Megatron:  Hmmm...yes.
Vegita:  Usagi's mind.
Megatron:  <Dubious>  I think I see what you're saying.

>front 
>of a bar, well that was one way of drowning her sorrows.

Galactus:  Is there any other?
Cyraqs:  <Stoned and singing>  Crashing through the sky...
Vegita:  <Glancing at Cyraqs>  Well yeah...

>She 
>entered the dark establishment and got a drink from the bartender. 

Vegita:  <grins evilly> A drink of what I wonder?
Q:  <Wariningly>  Vegita...

>He looked her up and down before giving up the preferred liquid in 
>a cocktail glass.

Vegita:  <Opens mouth>
Megatron:  <Slaps his hand over Vegita's mouth>
Q:  Thank you.

>She sipped it slowly and observed those around 
>her. The bar was surprisingly empty for this time of night. There 
>were only three other people. Two of which were a couple of larger 
>men, and the third a normal drunk.

Galactus:  I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk!  Alcoholics go to meetings!
Others:  Uh...yeah.

>She was starting to feel light all ready,

All:  SAY WHAT?!
Megatron:  Last I checked she could down a bottle and not feel the effects.  
What the hell is she drinking?
Cyraqs:  <Stoned>  Goodshh stuffsss!
Vegita:  What he said.

>then she looked down and realized she had downed the 
>whole drink. The bartender supplied another upon request. After the 
>second she was feeling pretty tipsy. Normally she could hold her 
>liquor with the best of them. Today she wasn't quite up to snuff.

Galactus:  She does snuff?
Megatron:  Really?
Q:  Guys that was really bad.
Galactus and Megatron:  <grin evilly>

>Sure enough, after the third one, the two men got up the guts to 
>approach her. No one this good looking had come into their bar in a 
>long time. The hairstyle was a bit peculiar, but the low cut shirt 
>set aside all other thoughts.

Vegita:  As it should.  I wonder how good she bites?
Megatron:  I thought you were married?
Vegita:  Yeah, but I can still look and fantasize right?
Q:  <Thinking> Alright!  Blackmail material!

>They went over to her and stood to the left and right of Ryoko.
>"Hey baby, what you doin' here all alone?" The man on her right 
>asked.

Galactus:  <Rowdy Roddy Piper>  I am here to chew bubble gum and kick ass!  And 
I'm all out of bubble gum!

>She kept looking at her glass, rolling it around in her hand. After 
>a moment, the men got a bit agitated at her lack of response. The 
>man on the left blurted out, "My friend asked you a question lady, 
>now might be a good time to answer him."

Megatron:  You know I hate stupid people.
Q:  I think that was done somewhere else.
Megatron:  Really?  Have to look into that sometime.

>The bartender noticed what was happening and asked the men to leave 
>her alone. Ryoko smiled at him a bit loosely. The two men, however, 
>would have none of it. One of them cursed at the man, the other 
>threatened him.
>That was all Ryoko could take from these two ass holes. She put her 
>hand out in front of her and closed her eyes. The two men stopped 
>yelling and stared curiously at this event. As Ryoko concentrated a 
>glowing ball of light started to form in her palm.

Vegita: BURNING ATTACK!!!!
Megatron:  You know I always wondered about the incessant need to shout out your 
techniques name as you use it.
Vegita:  <Puzzled>What do you mean?
Megatron:  I mean that if you know what's coming can't you block it; if you know 
the counter?
Vegita:  <Dawning realization>  MY GOD!! I don't think I've ever thought of 
that!

>"What are you doing, bitch?!" The man to her left yelled. "We ain't 
>impressed by your parlor tricks."
>The man on the right grabbed her shoulder. Ryoko glanced at him 
>with anger burning in her bright yellow eyes. It was actually 
>enough to make him remove his hand. "You touched me." She commented 
>to no one in particular.

Q:  The statement "You touched me." has a definite direction and not to no one 
in particular.
Galactus:  This guy has been doing this all through the fic and you are just 
deciding to comment?
Q:  Uhhhh....

>She turned her palm upward, the ball of light split. The two 
>resulting spheres shot from her hand as beams in a V pattern to her 
>left and right. The two men were thrown quite unceremoniously 
>across the bar to break two tables and a hanging picture. 
>The bartenders eyes went wide at the spectacle. Ryoko rose and 
>left, leaving a wad of bills to pay for any damages.

Vegita:  And she got this money where?
Megatron:  She's a pirate remember?
Vegita:  <Dubious>I guess...

>She went back 
>out onto the lonely street and walked in the direction of the low 
>moon.

All: <singning>  ...and the lonely moon.

> Two blocks away, while rounding a corner, she ran into a man 
>coming in the opposite direction. The poor guy was thrown to the 
>ground as though he had run into a wall. Ryoko looked down at the 
>fallen pedestrian. "Are you all right sir? I didn't mean to hit 
>you." Ryoko asked.

Galactus:  Considering where this fic has already gone this is probably just 
another porno setup.
Vegita:  You know you are probably right.  Though I wonder how he'll pull it 
off?
Cyraqs:  <Slightly sober> Kill himm....fuukingg..kill...
Q:  <injects him with the drugs again>
Cyraqs: ...andsh the worldsss wwwwiillll bee ah betsher plash..
Others:  Thanks.

>The man looked up at Ryoko towering over him. He blinked a moment, 
>then stood up. "Yes, uh, miss. I didn't see you coming, sorry." The 
>man looked Ryoko up and down, unable to help himself. "Uh, I'm 
>Hagashi Urin." He said extending a hand.

Vegita:  And most likely something else is ext...
Megatron:  <Points fusion cannon at him>  I'm not afraid to use the antimatter 
feature you know.

>Ryoko stared at the man a moment. He was handsome, same height as 
>her. Penetrating blue eyes, and a hell of a build. She took the 
>hand and shook it, blushing slightly. Hagashi noticed this and 
>couldn't help but comment, "Your cute."

Galactus:  Cute?  Buxom, sure.  Stunningly beautiful, definately! But cute...
Vegita: <Conspiratorily>  Hey I think that Galactus is falling for her!
Q:  <Staring at Ryouko>  Uh huh.
Megatron:  <Staring at Ryouko>  Uh huh.
Vegita:  Whimps.  One set of good looing tits and...<Notices Ryouko> Uh huh.
Cyraqs:  <Stoned>  We will...we will...rock you...

>Ryoko's blush darkened into a deep red as she looked away. 
>Hagashi's own face took on a similar pigmentation. "Uh, I mean, 
>umm, you, do you live around here?" He stuttered slightly.

Megatron:  <Den>  Great, here I am on a different world and I'm asking the same 
stupid questions!
Vegita:  Makes me wonder if the author has the same problem.
All:  Hmmmm....

>"No, but that's not really important, where do you live?" Ryoko's 
>redness had dulled and became more of a continual blush.
>"Actually, right around the corner there. I was on the way home 
>from the store down there." Nods of his head designated which 
>direction 'there' was.

Galactus:  Yep here we go again!
Q:  Don't insult Chris Angel's fic like that!
Galactus:  I didn't mean it like that!  Sheesh!

>Ryoko looked toward Hagashi's apartment. Her eyes widened, 
>penthouse was more like it.

Megatron:  You know that's a nifty magazine.
Vegita:  <Slyly>  Why do you get them?
Megatron:  The articles of course!
Others:  <sarcastic> Sure.

>The indicated building stood about 
>forty stories tall. "Whish is yours?" The alcohol had not entirely 
>escaped her system yet.

Q:  As she can just will it out I'm not sure that statement has any validity.
Galactus:  You said it yourself:  Smile and nod.

>He pointed up, "The forty-first story penthouse." He smiled at her, 
>"You want to see it?".

Vegita:  Want some candy little girl?
Others: heh.

>Even though a voice inside her somewhere told her no, she couldn't 
>resist the offer. She nodded her head in acceptance. Hagashi put 
>his arm out, which she took, and led them to his building. Ryoko 
>was almost overcome by how bright and clean everything was. 
>Graceful chandeliers hung from the ceiling. The front desk 
>attendant greeted Mr. Urin, and gave Ryoko a subjective glance. 

Megatron:  What exactly does he mean by a subjective glance.
Q:  Not sure.

>Ryoko didn't mind, she was buzzing from all the glitter.

Vegita:  Oh so now she's taking drugs?
Megatron:  Hope it's good stuff!
Cyraqs:  <Stoned> Yesh gooddss stuff!  Rosk on!

>Hagashi 
>led her up to his penthouse. It was huge, with a tiered circular 
>living room at the entrance. A large leather couch sat with its 
>back to the upper level.

Vegita:  This is getting really fucking predictable.
Q:  <Waking up>  What's that?

>"Make yourself at home, I'm going to freshen up a bit." At this he 
>walked to one of the doors leading to the rest of the penthouse.
>Ryoko paced about a bit, this was quite a perfect mood. Her eyes 
>fell on a bottle of wine. She didn't want this moment to end, so 
>she opened it. The resounding pop made her giggle a little.

Vegita:  <Grinning evilly>  'Pop' huh?  I wonder what else will be POPed...<Is 
cut off as Q fries him>
Q:  <Shakes head>How many times have we warned you?
Megatron:  Damnit!  And I so wanted to get him myself!

>She poured herself a quick glass and downed it in one gulp. Two minutes 
>and four more glasses later, Hagashi came back out. He was wearing 
>a silk robe of Chinese design. Ryoko instinctively knew this was 
>trouble. However, in her current mood, this was exactly what she 
>was looking for. She shakily poured a glass of wine for Hagashi as 
>he sat down next to her on the couch. The couch was such a 
>comfortable one, she almost lost herself in it. It was cool and 
>slippery,

Vegita:  <Evil Laugh>  Slippery huh?
Q:  Didn't last time teach you anything?
Cyraqs:  <Sobering up>...I'll Kill...<Q hits him with the good stuff 
again>...letsh get reasy do rumbleess....
Galactus:  Jesus!  How much does he have in him now?!
Q:  I'd say his own body wieght.
Others:  <Look at Cyraqs in awe>

>almost like a cloud, except firmer.

Megatron:  Kinda like her ti..<Gets Ki blasted by Vegita>
Vegita:  Paybacks are a mother aren't they?
Megarton:  <grumbling> I'll get you later...

>He took the proffered glass and took a sip. Ryoko had not
>noticed it before, but there 
>was now a light music playing. The lights had grown quite a bit 
>dimmer as well.

All:  <look at the camera in a classic imitaion of Mahoney of Police Academy 
fame>

>"You like geshing strite to the point, don' you?" Ryoko commented 
>with a hiccup.

Galactus:  She's sounding just like...<glancing over at Cyraqs>
Q:  Well they are related in his universe you know...
Vegita:  Damnit quit making those damn plugs to Heaven and Eternity!  This is 
supposed to be an MST, not a cheesey excuse to advertise a fic!
Megatron:  But didn't you just do that?
Vegita: <Thinks for a sec>  DAMN YOU K'THARDIN!

>"I think you've had enough to drink."
>"What should I do now then?" She giggled childishly.

Q:  Well if you really need some ideas...
Others:  <Prepare to blast him>
Q:  <Innocently>  What?
Galactus:  Just give us the excuse.  Please.

>"Hmm, I think I can come up with something."

Vegita:  What is it with these people and no tollerance.  Already coming and he 
hasn't even gotten anywhere yet!
Megatron:  Yeah.  Just sucks don't it?
Q:  No, but as for sucking...<Stops when Vegita goes SSJL4>
Vegita:  Keep it up.
Q:  You started it.  Anyway I thought we were stopping the orgasm jokes?
Cyraqs:...bt Sashami...whatsh do yous needs spurs for?
Others:  <Sweat drop>

>With that he reached over and put his arm around her.
>At first Ryoko jumped, then she calmed down. He was so warm and 
>soft, she felt secure in his grasp. He leaned over and kissed her, 
>she happily kissed him back.

Megatron:  I don't think she would just up and fuck someother guy; not even with 
Tenchi doing what he would never do to her.
Galactus:  I suppose I could add that to my list of how many times he's wrote 
them OOC, but <looks forlornly at paper which is soaked through with ink>...well 
you can see for yourself.

>She got right into it, they tried to 
>exchange tongues. If they weren't attached, they would have been 
>successful.

All:  Ewwww.

> Hagashi then got fresh at this point.

Galactus:  Didn't he freshen up before?
Megatron:  I think so.

>His hands tackled 

Vegita:  Too easy.

>the towering peaks of Ryoko's breasts. They played very skillfully 
>across her shirt. Her breathing became harder. The hands then went 
>inside the shirt. Hagashi's eyebrows went up as he noticed she was 
>not wearing a bra.

Q:  And those things are still that perky!  Wow!
Others:  Uh huh!

>The surprise faded and he fingered her nipples 
>until they hardened. Ryoko gasped as he pinched slightly. In thirty 
>seconds her shirt was on the floor. Ryoko grabbed Hagashi's head 
>and pulled his mouth to her erect nipples.

Vegita:  <Desperate>  I WANT TO BE WHERE HE IS RIGHT NOW!
Q:  <Thinks>  I feel sorry for Bulma after this is over.

>He graciously accepted 
>the invitation. Then, Ryoko noticed with some delight that Hagashi 
>was not wearing any underwear. His robe had a little, well not that 
>little, mountain sticking out from the lap. She knocked aside the 
>silken fold of cloth to let loose the captive goodies inside. Her 
>hand automatically wrapped around the extended shaft.

Galactus:  I don't want to see that!  Get back to Ryouko!
Vegita:  This is really turning into a porn fic.
Q:  <Munching on some pop corn>What was your first clue?
Megatron:  Shut up!  I'm trying to watch this!
Cyraqs:<Stoned>...born to free...

>It was hot, 
>she thought as she rubbed it up and down. It was as silky as the 
>robe that now slid down her leg. Hagashi's very nimble fingers had 
>made their way into her pants. Her heart skipped a beat as the 
>fingers explored her wet panties. They finally ended their journey 
>at her crotch. Here, they attacked her warm exposed pussy.

Vegita:  I think I saw something like this once at Nobiyuki's archive.
Q:  And you hang out there?
Vegita:  Best place for those kind of pics.
Q:  You do realize we're not getting paid for free advertisements.
Vegita:  Fuck!

>She whimpered as he played with her clitoris. She downright moaned as a 
>finger couldn't help but go cave diving.

Megatron:  I gotta admit this guy has more euphamisms than Kup has war stories.
Vegita:  I'm not sure anyone is going to get that joke.

>This time it only took 
>about fifteen seconds, and they were totally naked.

<The Doorbell suddenly rings>
Megatron:  I'll get it. <Rises and walks toward door.  Q stops him.>
Q:  It's probably just the pizza I ordered.  <Hands Megatron a $20 bill>  This 
should cover it.
Megatron:  Cool.  <Walks over to door>

<Cut to the scene outside of house.  There standing on the front porch is the 
Pizza delivery man.  Grimlock.>

Grimlock:  Pink curtains?  Who fuck has no taste?
<Door opens to reveal Megatron, Decepticon Commander Supreme.  The two look at 
each other for a good minute.  They shrug.>
Megatron:  Grim.
Grimlock:  Meg.
Megatron:  How much?
Grimlock:  $12.53
Megatron:  You break a twenty?
Grimlock:  Me Grimlock can break a twenty.
<Megatron profers him the money.  Grimlock hands him the Pizza, takes the money 
and fishes out some change.>
Megatron:  So why are you working as a pizza delivery guy?
Grimlock:  <Proudly>'Cause no one fuck with me Grimlock!
Megatron:  Right.
<Grimlock hands him the change finally.>
Grimlock:  So what you doing here?
Megatron:  A bunch of us lost a bet to Q.  Now we have to participate in his 
MST.
Grimlock:  What you MSTing?
Megatron:  A Tenchi Muyo lemon.  Written badly and out of character.  Also had a 
Sasami lemon scene in it.
Grimlock:  So?
Megatron:  <Thwaps Grimlock upside head>  Sasami!  Duh man!  The kid!  Cutest 
little anime character outside maybe Skuld, and about as young!
Grimlock:  <Eyes beging to glow; voice is angry>  Yes, me remember now!  Me 
likes Sasasmi!  Who did that?  <Transforms to Tyranosaurus mode> Me Grimlock rip 
him new asshole!!!
Megatron:  <Evil Grin>

<Cut to scene of Megatron walking in with a pizza and a shit-eating grin.  He 
sets the pizza down on the table, and all present begin to tear into it.  
Megatron still has his grin.  Q notices.>

Q:  What are you grinning about?
Megatron:  Just sent the author a little present.
Vegita:  Oh yeah?  What did you send him?
Megatron:  <smiles VERY not nice>  You'll find out later.  <Classic Megatron 
Laugh>
Others:  <Back away very slowly>
Megatron:  Anyway did I miss anything?
Galactus:  Nothing worth mentioning.  Just a long involved badly written totally 
OOC sex scene involving Ryouko and whatshisnuts.
Q:  Hagashi.
Galcactus:  <Glaring at Q>  I was trying to forget his name.
<Others notice that Galactus has half the pizza in his hands, and begin charging 
their various abilities and powers.>
Galactus:  <Confused>  What?
Q:  <Police voice>  Put most of the pizza down and back away from the box 
slowly.

>"I love you." She whispered in his ear as they lay there cooling.

Megatron:  More free love.  Like in Hex files!
Vegita:  And how would you know about the Hex files?
Q:  Who cares?  They cut way too much out of it anyway.
Vegita:  True.
Galactus:  What's the Hex files?

>He blinked as he looked up at him and her in the ceiling mirror. 
>She was quite a woman, and he did find feeling for her. He smiled, 
>would settling down be so bad? He shut his eyes and returned the 
>whispered comment, "I love you to."

Q:  Actually this is looking more like Dragon Knight 2.
Vegita:  Hey isn't that the one where he screws that 14 year old...
Galactus:  <Clamps hand over Vegita's mouth>  Shut up!  Or do you want you know 
who to go berserk again?
Vegita:  <Glancing at Cyraqs>  Understood.

>Her heart leapt and skipped a beat. She held him tighter to 
>herself. She had never felt more wonderful before. Her thoughts 
>branched off to Tenchi. Her brow furrowed, she didn't need him 
>anymore. She had loved him for so long, it was amazing how quickly 
>that could be substituted. 

Megatron:  We've already made the implausability statement here.
Vegita:  But what could one more time hurt?
Megatron:  <Looks at Vegita funny>  Shut the hell up!

>After a few minutes both were peacefully asleep in each others 
>arms.
>Tenchi awoke in a sticky mess of hair.

Vegita:  Oh that...
Q:  Was absolutely...
Megatron:  Disgusting!
Galactus:  <Twitching>
Cyraqs:  Bullsh wips one thingsss...buts whysh chains...mmisstressh?
Others:  <look at him strangely>
Megatron:  I don't really want to know.

> Sasami and Ayeka still lay 
>asleep next to him. He sat up, they were laying naked on the island 
>that supported Funao The ancient tree extended far above them, and 
>covered them in a shade. Tenchi rose and shook Ayeka and Sasami 
>with a toe. He still had a hard time believing what had 
>transgressed the night before.

Galactus:  You and me both.

>They looked so peacefully lying at 
>his feet, not to mention cute. His shaking finally awoke them. 
>They're eyes cracked open. Ayeka moaned, Sasami stretched like a 
>cat.

Vegita:  If only she were older...as it is now <Shudder glances over at Cyraqs>
Cyraqs:  <Mummbling incoherently>
Vegita:  Well at least we don't have to worry about that for awhile.

>They looked up at him blinking, and smiled. Movement from next 
>to each other caused them to look over at one another. They grinned 
>at each other. They stood up and kissed Tenchi on each cheek. 
>Tenchi blushed despite himself.

Megatron:  Dude you are a little too late to be doing that!

>Sasami giggled, Ayeka just smiled 
>wider. They looked around a moment before realizing their clothes 
>were nowhere to be found. Ayeka shrugged, Sasami didn't mind, she 
>hadn't brought any to begin with.

Galactus:  So how did she get there without being seen?
Q:  Perhaps Tsu...no I won't mention that.
Megatron:  Most likely a good thing.

>Finally they all gave up the 
>search and headed toward the house. 
>"Good thing we live out in the woods." Commented Tenchi.

Vegita: BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Others: <Sweatdrop>

>They walked in relative silence from then on, there was nothing 
>really to say. It had been wonderful, and now they could do it any 
>time they felt like it.

Vegita:  With a little girl?!  I think I'll help out Cyraqs when he goes to 
send...
Others:  <Grin in anticipation>
Vegita:  DAMNIT!  I can say it!  I can say it!  K..K...K...Ki...sent to 
another...GODDAMNIT!
Others: <chuckle>

>The house seemed deserted, but that was 
>because almost no one was home. The three of them were out, so was 
>Ryoko. Mihoshi and Kihone were on a mission, and Washu was lost in 
>her lab-erinth somewhere.

Megatron:  That pun sucked!
Galactus:  <Butthead> uh huh huh, huh huh, yeah that pun sucked!

>"We have the house all to ourselves?" Wondered Tenchi out loud
>"Seems that way to me." Ayeka answered, staring up at the empty 
>domicile.

Galactus:  Fanfuckingtastic.  Another excuse to have a mass orgy!  I think I 
know what world I'm eating next.
Megatron:  Sure just let me drain the fosil fuel energy first.
Vegita:  After I find this guy and...You fill in the blank.  That censor is 
NEXT.  HEAR ME SABAN, YOU'RE NEXT!
Q:  Gentlemen, please calm down!
Others:  Shut up Q!
Cyraqs:  <Stoned>  Shashami!  Fingwersh cuffs are nos farrr!
Others:  <Back away slowly>

>"Well, how about a trip to the bath bubble." Suggested Sasami.
>Everyone lit up.

Q:  Hey everyone look!  Christmas in July!

>"Yes, that would be a great idea!" Tenchi and 
>Ayeka yelled in unison.
>They walked off, smiling cheerfully to the large bathing structure 

Megatron:  It's a floating Onsen.  Fucker can't even get some research done when 
he writes these fics.
Galactus:  And I have the piece of paper to prove it <Bradishes giant ink blotch 
that was once a piece of paper>.

>suspended above the ground over their pond.
>Miles away in downtown Tokyo, Hagashi was just waking up. He heard 
>a light snore from his right. He jumped a bit before recognizing it 
>as Ryoko. What an odd name, he thought to himself.

Q:  This is Japan, he has the name Hagashi, and he thinks that name is strange?
Vegita:  Smile and nod time right?
Megatron:  Most likely.
Galactus:  I was wondering, is this guy any relation to Joe Hagashi of Fatal 
Fury fame?
Others:  <Shudder>
Q:  Let's not continue that train of thought.

>She is not your 
>normal woman. Maybe that's why I'm drawn to her so much. He went 
>into the bathroom and switched on the shower.
>Ryoko awoke to the sound of running water. She smiled and stretched 
>over the warm bed. Last night had been more amazing than she 
>thought it would have been. She had fallen in love with another. 

Megatron:  No you just fucked another in a drunken stuper.
Q:  And he calls that love?  I suppose we could make snide references to the 
authors character right about now.
Vegita:  But weren't we already doing that?
Q:  Why yes, I do believe we were.

>She didn't really know much about this person, just his name 
>mostly. However, he seemed nice enough. She arose from bed and 
>walked toward the bathroom door. Having reached it, she tapped on 
>it lightly.
>"Ohh, yoo-hooo! Mr. Hagashi! Delivery!" 

Vegita:  Accepted!
Galactus:  VEGITA!
Vegita:  heheheheh.

>A muffled answer was emitted from the other side of the door, 
>"Sorry, I locked the door, force of habit. I'll be there in a 
>moment."
>Ryoko thought about something for a minute. Well, she thought, they 
>were in love.

Megatron:.......
Vegita:  Quit it with the dots already!
Megatron:  Sorry.  Just thinking what a sad and pitiful excuse for a person he 
must think Ryouko and the rest of them are.
Galactus:  <nodding sympathetically>  Yep.  Know what you mean.

>He would have to find out soon. So, Ryoko, with her 
>lack of inhibition, floated through the closed door. Instantly her 
>ears felt like they would pop. She hated it when that happened. 
>Damn hot water made the pressure so much lower than outside the 
>bathroom.

Galactus:  This coming from a lady who goes out into space without a suit.
Q: Smile and...<Vegita ki blasts him>
Vegtia:  I'm tired of smiling and nodding.  I've smiled and noddes so much my 
fucking head is going to fall off!
Megatron:  <To himself> At least that would shut you up!

>She completed the grating of her jaw to alleviate the 
>difference. She then slid aside the shower curtain. There he stood, 
>in all his masculine splendor. Water running down the curvature of 
>his muscles.
>He noticed the movement and leapt into the air. Ryoko responded 
>with a giggle. He pondered, "How did you get in here?".

Vegita:  <Mihoshi>  Well I sort of welll....just stumbled in you know...just 
walked right on in.

>She couldn't stop to answer, she stepped into the shower stall with 
>him. "That's not important at the moment, this is." As she said 
>this, she gabbed up his penis in her hand. "However, we have 
>something to talk about later."

Q:  Shallow as a desert and twice as dry!
Others:  Yep.

>Hagashi looked a bit bemused, but had no objections whatsoever.
>Later that day...
>"Your a what?!"

Megatron:  <Ryouko>I'm really a lezbian, please don't think less of me!
Galactus:  This at least is not a Davies fic or that might just be true.

>Ryoko cringed, she had figured he would take it better than this.
>Hagashi sat in front of Ryoko, who was standing over him.

Vegita:  And just *how* was she standing over him pray tell?
Q:  You're not going to stop unless I send you to another dimension are you?
Vegita: <Smirking>  Nya!  Q got censored!
Q:  <Smiling>  I meant that literally.  How about I send you to the TA2937 
dimension?
Others:  <Cringe>
Vegita:  <Vegita smirk>  Sure.  That would be fun.  I have a hit list already 
set up of people I'm going to...well you know.

>He was a 
>wreck. The woman he thought he now loved just told him she was a 
>pirate from space. 
>On top of that, she was not even a normal 
>creature, she had been created by a scientist. Hagashi looked up at 
>Ryoko, for some reason the look in her eyes made him believe her 
>story. "H.. how can this be?" He croaked.

Megatron:  <Ryouko> Well you see there was this crazy megalomaniac red-headed 
scientist by the name of Washuu who...<Scene starts getting hazy>
Galactus:  <Yelling loud>  No flashbacks please! <stops getting hazy>
Q:  <Cluthing head>  Thanks man.  Those always give me headaches.

>"You are taking it better than Tenchi..." She paused in thought. 

Vegita:  In this story he sure *took it* better.
Megatron:  <Knocks him unconscious with his fusion cannon>  Ahhh.  Much better.
Q:  But now we only have three MSTers!
Cyraqs:  Roolling...rollingss...rollinsh on thes rivesh...
Megatron:  Don't worry he'll recover within a couple of minutes.

>"Of course, I was trying to kill him at the time." She shrugged, 

Q:  Oh well.

>"Oh, well."

All: heh.

>"You expect me to believe this just because you told me?"
>"I can see you believe me, but if you want a demonstration." Ryoko 
>rolled up the sleeves of her jacket.

Q:  <Magician>  nothing up this sleave, nothing up this sleave...

>She closed her eyes and spread 
>her hands out. A moment later, she was hovering a few feet of the 
>ground. "Ta da!" She proclaimed.
>Hagashi stared at this for a moment, sighed, then began to clap. 
>"Well, I suppose this explains why I find you so... um..." He 
>thought about it for a moment.

Q:  Buxom?
Galactus:  Attractive?
Megatron:  Irrisistable?
Vegita:  <Now revived>Totally, one hundred percent fuc...<Gets bonked on the 
head by Megatron Again>  Hey...
Q:  Like a mutual friend of ours said...we're trying to be remotely civil here.
Vegita:  <Grumbling>  You'll all pay...

>Ryoko stared at him in anticipation. Her large yellow eyes grew 
>big, round, and shiny.

Cyraqs: <Stoned> bigggg and shinyss....

>Hagashi smiled. "So amazingly lovable!" He concluded. Then he 
>thought, did I just say that?
>Ryoko reacted differently however. She leapt through the air, and 
>encased him in a bear hug. "Oh, your so sweet!" She squeaked as she 
>lowered his lung capacity.

Vegita:  What a fucking wuse!

>Hagashi coughed for a moment after she had let up. Then Ryoko said 
>something that shocked him to no end.
>"You have to meet the family!"

All: Uh oh!

>Hagashi came up short. "Family?"
>"Well, not really my family, just my mother. The rest are just 
>friends."

Vegita:  She still calls them friends?  Afther what they just did?!  That's it 
he dies!
Galactus:  Alright!  He conquered the censor thing!
Vegita:  I did?  <Thinks about it>  Yeah I did it!  <Angelic music plays in the 
background while those around him lavish congradulations on him.>

>"Where?"
>"At the Masaki shrine."
>"I have heard of that shrine. I believe I once paid respects to 
>that particular shrine." Hagashi looked a little saddened. "I think 
>it was the year my mother died."

Galactus:  Is he trying to make us feel sorry for the guy?
Q:  Could be.
Vegita:  He failed so totally miserably that it almost makes me sick.
Q:  <Smiling>  Bowls have been auto washed and are under the couch again.

>Ryoko hugged him again, only not as tight. "I know what it's like 
>to lose your mother at a young age."
>"Did you...?" He looked up at her with a look that could squeeze a 
>tear from a rock.

Vegita:  No, but it could cause a rock spit!
Megatron:  Or even Starscream.  This is sucking like...like...
Galactus:  Ayeka Muyo?
Others:  Ugh!

>"Well, in a way. My mother left me when I was very young. However, 
>I have a very close friend, who I grew up with, who lost his 
>mother."

Q:  <considering a snide comment>  Naa...Too easy.

>Ryoko brightened up. "In fact, you are going to meet him."
>Hagashi looked at the cute, smiling face before him. He couldn't 
>help but return it. "Yes, I would like to meet everyone."
>"So you shall, tomorrow. Tonight, let's enjoy one more night 
>alone." She grinned a little wickedly.
>Neither of them got much sleep that night.

Megatron:  Oh thank Primus there wasn't another long and stupidly boring sex 
scene.
Cyraqs:  .........
Vegita:  Oh great, now Cyraqs is doing the dots thing!

>The next day at the Masaki house...
>Tenchi and Ayeka awoke in the same bed.

Galactus:  At least it was only them.  If it wasn't...<glances over at the near 
comatose form of Cyraqs and shudders>

>They were both very naked, 
>and the sheets of the bed were on the floor.

Vegita:  Now that's a marathon effort!

>They sat up and stared 
>around the room a moment. Then, at each other. The exchanged a 
>smile and arose.

Q:  That's all?  Whimps!

>Tenchi picked up his robe, but Ayeka put a hand on 
>his arm. He stared at her questioningly.
>"There's no one but you, Sasami, and I in the house today." She got 
>a mischievous gleam in her eye.

Cyraqs:  I'mss goinsh to fucking killsss...<Drops off to sleep>
Q:  Whew!  I was almost out of stuff!

>Tenchi could always tell when something was up. This time, he knew 
>what it was. He dropped the robe. Then, "What about Washu?"
>"As if that woman ever leaves that lab of hers." She said as she 
>opened the door.

Vegita:  Now that is a totally incorrect statement.  How many times in the OVA's 
was she at the baths, in the house, eating at the table...
Megatron:  We get the point Vegita.

>Sure enough, there stood Washu, smiling.

Vegita:  See what did I tell you?

> Ayeka turned fourteen 
>shades of red, in various parts of her body. 

Galactus:  Now that...was awesome!

>Tenchi just smiled 
>back, his lip twitching. Beads of sweat, the largest you've ever 
>seen, appeared on their heads.

Vegita:  I've seen larger.

>"M... M... Miss Washu, how lovely to see you this morning." Ayeka 
>stated, then her voice dropped an octave or two. "What are you 
>doing here?"

Galactus:  I am here to destroy all that is!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Vegita:  <To Q> You have anymore of that stuff?
Q:  <To Vegita>  Only one more dose.
Q and Vegita:  *shudder*

>"Oh! I hope I'm not bothering you." She grinned even larger. "Just 
>wanted you to know, Ryoko is coming back in about ten minutes."
>Tenchi and Ayeka managed to look even more uncomfortable, quite a 
>feat. Then they began to shuffle around the room in search of 
>clothing. Ayeka had shut the door, a muffled Washu spoke from 
>behind it. "Oh, yea, and she has a guest."

>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>-----

Galactus:  Hey look everyone...dashes!
Others:  Groan!

>That concludes part three.

All:  THANK YOU GOD!!!!

>Part four will introduce Hagashi to 
>everyone else. 

All:  Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

>Also, the plot will become much more exciting,

Vegita:  Not possible!

>as I will add an antagonist to the story. This will continue to be an H-
>fanfic, however, it will be for reasons other than sex

Megatron:  Bullshit!!! This entire story was nothing but an excuse for pointless 
sex!

>(although I 
>still plan to have that too!). Till next time!

All:  Hopefully NOT!

>PMasters (1/8/97)

Galactus:  <Shang Tsung>  You will be next!
Megatron:  Is that it?
Q:  <Checks Tape>  Yep.  That's all folks.
Megatron:  Oh thank you lord!
Others:  AMEN!
Vegita:  Great!  It's over!  Now we can leave!
Galactus:  <Musing>  We can't just leave it like this.
Others:  huh?
Galactus:  These kind of fics...I know others are out there that do this, but 
this...this was just too fucked up.  What we did here, it needs done.  As often 
as we can.  To show those pencil dicks who do this how fucked up they really 
are.
Vegita:  <Considering>  Galactus, you are almost making sense.  <Nodding>  Yes, 
making those pissants look stupid is almost as fun as send...killing them! <He 
smiles>
Megatron:  I agree, but I have to ask...what are we going to do about him 
<glances over toward Cyraqs>?
Q:  Take him home.  And not invite him next time.  <Thinks> That was hazardous 
to my health right there.
Megatron:  So who are we going to get to replace him then?
Vegita:  <Smiling>  I say we pick out a random character each time!  That way...
Galactus:  Yes, So others can suffer and spread the word.
Megatron:  I was thinking...
Q:  There's a first.
Megatron:  <Glaring at Q> That if we take him home, won't we have to worry about 
Sasami?
All:  OH SHIT!
Vegita:  Well I'm outta her folks! <Prepares to fly off>
Galactus:  Like Hell! <Grabs Vegita>  You're not going to ditch us!
<Vegita ki blasts him at SSJL4; Megatron starts using the antimatter feature on 
his Fusion Cannon, Galactus starts throwing out the occasional cosmic blast, 
Cyraqs gets knocked over in his chair and curls up on the floor snoozing while 
the the other fight, destroying the general viscinity.  The TV and VCR of course 
remain untouced.  Q with an amused grin tiptoes to the back of the room and 
pulls a tape out of a betacam that was concealed under a fruit bowl.  Quietly he 
walks to the basement, where there appears to be a rather suffisticated set of 
audio visual equipment.  He walks over and activates the controls on what 
appears to be a teleconferencing type of machine.  He begins speaking into it, 
the camera doesn't show the image on it.>
Q:  I have the copy you wanted.  I think I can secure them for future projects 
as well.
Strange man:  COOL!
Q:  And just think; they'll never know about this!
Strange man & Q:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

The end?

<Later>
<Cut to a scene of a man answering his door.  You see only the back of his head>

Man:  <Opening door>  Oh Great!  I can't wait to eat this pizza!
Delivery man:  That'll be $12.53.
Man:  Cool.  <Starts fishing out money>  Uh...where's the pizza by the way?
Delivery man:  <grinning>  New delivery system.  I'll demonstrate after you pay.
Man:  No problem.
Delivery man:  Hey aren't you Philip Masters...the guy who wrote "Lemon that 
isn't Lemon?"
Philip:  Uh yeah.  Wow!  Didn't know I was famous.
Delivery man:  <grinning> You'd be surprised at the people who know you.
Philip:  <Proferring him $15> Keep the change.
Delivery man:  Thanks.  <Holds out hands in Ki blasting position>  Now let me 
summon your Pizza for you.
Philip:  This'll be cool.  Hey that's a neat car.  What is it?  Looks like a 
real dinosuar.
Delivery man:  The Grim-Trex from A-bot manufacturers.
Philip:  Cool.  <noticing Delivery man has a cool hair-do> Who does your hair?
Vegita:  <classic Vegita grin> It's natuarally like that.  Only a few more 
seconds and your Pizza will appear.
Philip:  Alright.  I can't wait.
Vegita:  <ultra Vegita grin> Neither can I.

End
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Authors Afterward:  I hate these kind of stories.  Not too surprising since I'm 
1. a Sasami/Tsunami fan, and 2.  I HATE PEDOPHILES.  So since no one had gotten 
this one yet and Don Euclid (author of Hentai Muyo. He gets most of the Sasami 
lemons.) was busy; I took it.

You may think this is mean and downright insulting.  Well guess what?  It is.  
But let me tell you something, what's really mean and downright insulting is 
involving a 8 to 13 year old girl in your fics in such a manner.  This is fucked 
up.

If you cry hypocrite I will laugh.  That was a Tsunami lemon.  There were other 
extinuating circumstances as well, so if you want a full explanation I will be 
more than happy to E-mail you with one.

BTW:  I need to make some acknowledgements.  First is to Gen who is posting 
this.  Thanks man.  Next is to both Navaash and Don Euclid who gave me some 
helpful ideas.  Arigato it means a lot.  And last goes to PMasters who wrote 
this damn fic, and made me get so pissed that I wasted at least a month on this 
MST.  You don't get any thanks.

Send all inquiries to kthardin@geocities.com

K'thardin