Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo and its characters are not mine, they are the property of Pioneer and AIC, So please don't sue me. Outtakes, OAV episode 4 Written by Argus Cromwell a.k.a. Dade Gifford GP Officer:All ships, lock on tar-(Boom hits officer in forehead, knocking off fake ear)hheeeeeyyyyyyy..(Falls [very] quickly to floor) Director:(cracks up)Medic! Mihoshi:(Hears emergency call, Stands up, and walks to the bridge)Hello? Director:Mihoshi!! You're supposed to trip! Mihoshi:(In english accent) Well, I say, it is physically impossible for me to act in such a manner! What IS my motivation? Sasami:C'mon Aeka, lets-(Trips and falls on face out of minivan) Tenchi:(Cracks up)Hey, Sasami, that was a good one. Uh..Sasami? MEDIC!! Ryoko:(floating vertically next to the open door of the minivan) I'm telling you, that girl-(Ryoko screams and falls suddenly, accompanied by the sounds of strings snapping)Owww... Tenchi:(Cracks up) Ryoko:(Grabs his foot and pulls him down. Cracks up) Ryoko:Tenchiiii... I want you to flirt with me, too! Tenchi:Aww, get serious! Ryoko:Well fine, you can flirt with Aeka but you can't flirt with me? (disappears) Tenchi:(Turns to finish unloading van. Suddenly, the suitcases float into the air and fly at Tenchi. A small handbag strikes him in the pills)(in high-pitched voice)CUT! (Falls down in fetal position) Aeka:(Runs up to Tenchi) You didn't hurt anything important, did you Tenchi? (inspects him)Whew. It's all there. Roll 'em! Nobuyuki:Tenchi, we're here at the hotsprings...And there are a couple of ladies over there in the women's bath(leans forward) It would be really rude not to peek. Tenchi:The hostess will kill us if she finds out. Nobuyuki:I'm not afraid of her at all. (pulls towel over his head) Tenchi:So, what's with the towel, Dad? Nobuyuki:Numbskull, this is the traditional attire for peeping! (starts climbing) Tenchi:Dad, cut it out, you're-(Tenchi is cut off by Nobuyuki screaming, some thumping sounds, and then a splash) Nobuyuki:(Face up in the men's side)........ Tenchi:I guess you didn't need the hostess for that one (cracks up) Ryoko:Oh, you're so far away, why don't you come over here? Tenchi:W-well, but I...Isn't that the women's bath over there? Ryoko:(Standing before Tenchi, nude)Did you say something? Tenchi:Woah, um actually, I wasn't gonna say it, but-DAMN, YOU FINE! Ryoko:(giggles and blushes) Ryoko:Hold on to me tightly, or you'll fall! (takes off) Tenchi:Waaaah! (eyes suddenly become fearful) Hey! Hey, don't let go!! Ryoko:Whoops! Tenchi:Aieeeee!! (falls to the men's onsen) Ryoko:.....sigh.....cut.... Ryoko:(pulls off Aeka's towel) Aeka:What did you do that for? (Stands there, clad in another towel) Director:Aeka, what ARE you doing? Aeka:Well, I thought the script called for something a little less lurid, especially from me, so I made a little change on my copy. Ryoko:(yanks off that towel) Aeka:(Nude)Bitch! (Slaps Ryoko) Tenchi:......(Stares at the two naked women fighting. His towel falls off, his hands at his sides) Waaaugh! (Ducks underwater) Sasami:(Traumatized)......... Ryoko and Aeka:(Dash for Tenchi)All you alright, Tenchi? Let me help you! (start slapping each other again.) Tenchi:(Tries to tie on his towel)It won't fit! Director:What do you mean? It was made to fit your waist size perfectly! Tenchi:(blushes furiously, and resumes previous efforts to put on his towel, not daring to look up) Director:Oh.....CUT! Ryoko:(grabs Tenchi, runs like a madwoman with Aeka in close pursuit) Aeka:Come back here, you thief!!! Sasami:(Falls to ground, unconscious) Ryoko:Aieee!! (dodges the demon she created as it strikes at her) Demon:Roauuuhghh...SCREEK!! (Demon's movement shudders to a halt, and several loud mechanical screeching noises are heard) Director:CUT! Get the mechanic in here! And have him waterproof it this time!! Ryoko:(cracks up) Tenchi:(calls up Tenchi-ken)Wow! Neat special effects! (breathes heavily)Luuuke! Come to the Dark Side!(Swings the sword around) Director:Tenchi, quit foolin' around!! Baka! Mihoshi:(falls from the sky) Tenchi:(goes to catch her like normal, only his face gets buried in her breasts)MMMFFFFF!!! AH CAN'T BREAHVE! Mihoshi:(slaps Tenchi)Pervert! Release me at once! Tenchi:ow... Mihoshi:Geez, I'm sorry (cracks up) Mihoshi:Distance is six...inches? Is this..? Sasami:(Still obviously shaken up)This is Ryo-Ohki, cute little fella, huh? Ryo-Ohki:Miyaa!! (takes bite out of gun) Mihoshi:(Stands up, hands on hips) You little jerk! This cost me 5,000,000 yen!! I oughta slap you! Look at this! Tooth marks!! You are going to see my lawyer, little creep! Ryo-Ohki:(Stands on hind legs)You better bring a team of lawyers, sister! I've got the best in Tokyo, and witnesses, and video evidence of you putting that gun to my face!! Self defense, I say!! Director:Will you two knock it off!! GEEZ! Sasami:What's that? (Soja wobbles, then falls, and Sasami catches it) Director:Give it to Jim, in the effects department, with my FOOT UP HIS @$$!! He can't get anything right! Sasami:Waaah!!(runs off crying) Aeka:(slaps the director in the back of the head)Idiot! Now look what you did!! Tenchi:Yeah! Ryoko:That's right! (All jump at director, camera goes static) ---------------------------------------------------------------- I thought that there just wasn't enough outtakes, so I decided to go ahead. Tell me what you thought (cubone41@yahoo.com)