Disclaimer: “Tenchi Muyo!,” its characters, incarnations and merchandise are
the properties of AIC/Pioneer. Their use in this work is not, nor is it the
intent of the author to be cannon. No monetary compensation was given, nor
will be expected or accepted for this work. The ‘Blue Haired Goddess’ is the
property of herself, as the author, The Semi Great Enigma, is his own
property. Thank you.
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To the Blue Haired Goddess, On Identity Crisis
By The Semi-Great Enigma
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        I hope that you get the chance to read this, Blue, because I’m only
gonna say this once. I also hope and pray that those of you who read this
will keep an open mind.
        You aren’t the only one.
        By this, I mean that you are not the only fic author/web surfer/
Tenchi lover that has personal problems. I do not say this to make you feel
bad. In fact, I’m glad that you wrote “Identity of an Avatar,” because for
the longest I thought I was alone. Now I know that I am not. I wish to share
my story with you.
        First of all, I am an eighteen-year-old, African-American with
Dyslexia (I hope I spelled it correctly!), depression, and an identity
complex. I honestly don’t know who I am supposed to be. I wear so many masks
around so many people. Alex the Friend, Alex the Forlorn Lover, Alex the
Genius, Alex the Fat-Kid-That-Everybody-Loathes, Alex the Religious,
etcetera. I’ve done this for so long that I’ve forgotten how to be Just
Alex. Hence my e-handle, The Enigma, for I am a mystery unto myself.
        I gained the sub title ‘Semi-Great’ from my depression. After my mom
died eight years ago, I just became this lonely guy, y’know. I didn’t go out
to hang with my friends, or play sports like I used to. I relied on TV to
take me out of my gloom. It was then that I discovered Anime.
        I loved anime. Still do. I got to kick butt with the martial
artists, pilot giant robots, walk into the middle of the streets at midnight
hoping that a fifteen-year-old in a form-fitting uniform and frilly
mini-mini skirt would leap above my head into the moonlit sky. I would bug
my aunt to get cable, just so I could watch some dudes in eagle costumes
destroy some aliens that wanted to take over the world. When I found out
about “Tenchi Muyo!,” I went into a frenzy. I wanted to be like one of them
so badly. I kinda figured that I wasn’t like any of the girls, so I tried to
become like one of the men of “TM!”
        Maybe I’m like Katsuhito, was the first thought that came to mind.
He was wise. I kinda knew… stuff. He was very religious. I believed in God
and Jesus. I just didn’t always serve Him like I was supposed to. Damn my
slothfulness. He was very active for a man his age. I was a sheltered
recluse that wanted some attention but didn’t want to go out into (Gasp and
Shudder!) the real world to find it. Okay, so I’m not like him.
        Maybe I’m like Noboyuki. He had a wife. I would be lucky to find a
platonic friend. He’s a pervert. I knew nothing of the female anatomy, save
that girls have to sit down to pee, so I had nothing to be perverted about.
Like I said, I was a sheltered child.
He has a job. I live off SSI. Nope, not him either.
        Maybe… Naw. I would have to know how to play the organ and torture
constructed humans in order to be like _him_. All that was left was Tenchi.
But to identify with the lead character is like blasphemy, right?
        Wrong.
        He was perfect. Flawed, like me. Shy, like me. Peaceful, like me.
Indecisive, like me; he can’t decide which girl to choose out of fear that
the others will destroy him or the world, and I can’t decide which
personality is the real Alex out of fear that I may choose a psychopath who
lives to harm others or something. Tenchi and I bonded, if only in my mind.
I had to create an avatar worthy of him. But I couldn’t.
        No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t meld into the role of Tenchi,
just as you could not become the said Blue Haired Goddess that you so
professed to be. I found, and continue to find, that with blank slates such
as myself, we are the culmination of our experiences and _subtle_
adaptations to every situation that we encounter. I am not Alex. I am still
_becoming_ Alex. Blue, I believe that you are still becoming you. Perhaps
Tenchi, whether in the minds of fic authors or his true creators, is still
becoming Tenchi.
        I, for one, can hardly wait to see how these three ‘works in
progress’ turn out.
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A/N: That’s it. My opus. My offering to the fan fiction authors of the
world. Really it’s a rant, but, it does give you some thing to think about.
Please write back to me at enigma@iamdstudents.com or
semi-great_enigma@37.com please. I’m so lonely…
        This rant, needless to say is dedicated to the Blue haired Goddess,
who is whatever she believes she is. I hope that you will write to me as
well, Blue. I think we would have a lot to discuss about TM!, and an
individual’s character. Goodbye for now, and God bless.
                                -Enigma.