MST of: At the Carrot Patch -------------------------------- The sliding metal door opens again and sitting in a chair is PHaw410653, daring, sexy, and fearless leader of the Starship Barwhore!! PHaw: We're back to once again MST another really lame lemon. And from judging from how two other MST groups have judged it, we're in some deep shit! Devil Girl's loading the Fanfic right now, so why don't I introduce the MSTers. He gets up and walks over to this little console... PHaw: Since I'm a man who usually is original in picking MSTers, I've found some good victims... er critics to help get me through this stinker. First; he is the #1 enemy of Dark Mike, the guy from my last MST, here's Mike. (pushes button) A bearded brown-haired youth of 17 appears out of nowhere. PHaw: Welcome Mike.... Mike: What the hell did you do to me? PHaw: Oh nothing.. just tore you out of your own story! Mike: Why? PHaw: CAUSE I FELT LIKE DOING THAT!!! Mike: Hey... don't piss me off! PHaw: Time to bring in our next character! (pushes button) A big, buffed, Black-haired Biker guy appears out of nowhere. PHaw: Ah, hello there... Lobo! Lobo: What Hell did you do to me? Mike: I aksed him that very same question. Lobo: I was about to frag this asshole when all of a sudden this little sucker (points to PHaw) pulls a Scotty Beam Me up bullshit. NOW I'LL LOSE MY BOUNTY!!! PHaw: Calm down! I'll "beam" you back down to the very same spot where you were, and give you enough time to blow the shit out some unlucky S.O.B. Lobo: Damn right you will... little bastard... PHaw: 2 down, a couple more to go... (pushes button) A spikey black-haired boy with Orange clothes on appears out of nowhere. PHaw: Glad ya made it here Goku... Goku: Huh? Where's Perfect Cell? Bulma? Vegeta? And where the hell am I? PHaw: In my domain!(pushes button) a blue-haired man with a dead skeleton falls out of nowhere. PHaw: Welcome... Lance Fanrico! Lance: Huh? where am I? PHaw: I can't tell you... Lance: Tell me or I shall say.. NI to you! PHaw: DO YOUR WORST!!! Lance: Alright...if you won't cooperate.... Ni! PHaw writhes in pain... Lance: .... well? PHaw: You can't break me!! Lance: NI!!! PHaw: (writhing in pain) NO!! I WON'T TELL!! Lance: NI! NI!! NI!! NI!!! ... ni.. PHaw: ARRGH!!!! Devil Girl walks in... DGirl: Are you saying Ni to that poor bastard? Lance: (caught in the act) ummmm... yes. DGirl: What terrible times are these when time & space travelling ruffians can can say Ni at will to silly dumb ship captains... PHaw: Let's get the last guest... I need Maxim here... to have some ties to my first MST. (pushes button) Maxim falls out of nowhere.... PHaw: I have really got to get this thing fixed... Maxim: What.. not again! I'm still recovering from that last one... DGirl: We're sorry Maxy, but we need you... I need you. Maxim: Really? DGirl: Oh Maxim, whatever will I do? Maxim: Frankly Devil Girl my dear, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN. Goku:.... okay. That was weird. Lobo: So what's yous gonna do with us? PHaw: Glad you asked that. We're watching a Lemon Story. A Tenchi Muyo one. Goku: Oh no! Vegeta told me about these... why me? PHaw: The real reason is that Vegeta's already seen this one. It'd piss him off to have to see it again. I wouldn't like Vegeta when he's angry... Lance: I don't like him period! PHaw: Well, we've stalled enough... let's start " At the Carrot Patch". Get it over with. Everyone heads into the The-ai-ter... Mike: Where are the chairs? PHaw: We got a big couch. There. Mike: Fair enough (jumps onto the couch) Then.... it started. Lance: (talking to dead skeleton) Look Joem... it's a Disclaimoreth. Maxim: Ummm... yeah. Warning this is a Lemon fanfic; which means that it isadult oriented and has sexual content. Mike: Gee.. Ya think? If you are under legalage or easily offended by this kind of material, then please hit the back button on your browser. This is also my first lemonfanfic and it's not that great and it may not make that much sense. PHaw: That's why we make fun of them! NOTE: none of these characters are mine and are the property of somebody else. Mike: Settin' us up for disappointment? PHaw: Yep. This means it's gonna royally SUCK. Lobo: Damn... I could use a six-pack right about now. Please send all comments or suggestions to: Mike_Forever@hotmail.com Mike: MIKE FOREVER!! Lance: (talking to skeleton) don't be afraid Joem... he's nutty! Lobo: (Looking at Lance Fanrico) What the fuck? It was a quiet day at the carrot patch and Tenchi was hard at workpicking some carrots for lunch. Maxim: Funny... I didn't know Tenchi was on a diet. PHaw: What nobody knows is that he's really growing hemp and opium! DGirl: Like what you did that one time? PHaw: (Red-faced) SHUT-UP... It's a S-e-c-r-e-t. Sasami had nothing to do that dayso she decided to go help Tenchi. Maxim: Shouldn't she be cookin' dinner? PHaw: It's kinda funny when you think about it... she's a princess and for some strange reason... knows how to cook like one of those TV chefs. Mike: Kinda sad that Ayeka can't cook and she's older than Sasami! It's insulting... On her head sat Ryo-ohki whomiayed contentedly Lance: Miay! Miay! Miay! MIAY!!! for she knew that they were going to the carrotpatch. Lobo: See! Even that Rabbit-thing knows what's gonna happen! Tenchi looked up form his work and saw Sasami walking downthe road wearing shorts and a T-shirt. Maxim: Kinda funny how she's not wearing her little Jurian dress that her parents forced her to wear at all times... except when bathing... of course. Tenchi was sweating profusely and decided to take off his shirt, to reveal a muscularchest, in an effort to cool off. Maxim: I don't know who the fuck this author thinks he is, but Tenchi ain't muscular. PHaw: He has the Steve Urkel build. Goku: Seen better muscles on Master Roshi! Sasami saw Tenchi hard at work and noticed how cute he was when he was bare-chested. Lobo: She must like little geeks.. Lance: Or Steve Urkel! Tenchi hadalways had a secret crush on Tenchi and didn't know how to approach her. PHaw: Huh? Is it just me or did it just say what I think it said? Mike: Yep. But I think it's a typo... at least I hope it's a typo. Lobo: This guy a fag? Lance: So he's a girl? So that little myth I heard is true... he is gay! As Sasami came into full view Tenchi's dick startedto grow in his shorts. Maxim:(mimicing Tenchi) HELP ME!!! IT WON'T STOP GROWING!!! Mike: (in funny dubbed Japanese voice) It's Cockzilla! DGirl: I think it looks cute... really I do! PHaw: I think this is the part where us guys are supposed to facevault or form a sweatdrop or sumthin. Soon Tenchi's hard-on became too hard to hide, comfortably. Goku: Oh god! This is sick. It's just so disgusting! Maxim: Does this guy have any dignity? Mike: Apparently not! DGirl: Honey... it's moving! PHaw: Devil Girl... you're just reusing jokes from the last MST. Stop it! DGirl: okay.. okay. God! Sorry. Sasami, by this time had noticed the bulge inTenchi's pants. Tenchi kept working despite his discomfort. Lobo: regular trooper... I guess. Mike: I have a bad feeling where this is going to be heading soon. Maxim: Where's Ryoko this whole time? Or Ayeka? PHaw: No... not another god damn Sasami lemon... GOD!!! WILL THEY EVER STOP?!? Ryo-oki had now dug a tunnel under the ground to get at one of the carrots. She nibbled at the first carrot she came to. The carrot was relatively large and would take a lot of time to eat. Maxim: And for some stranger reason... it was flesh colored. (Devil Girl laughs) Lance: Tenchi's growing DILDOS!! Tenchi came to the carrot that Ryo-oki was chewing on and was unable to rip it from the ground. PHaw:(singing) RIP IT!!! RIP IT GOOD!!! Maxim: Why doesn't he just pull it out... he supposedly had muscles a few sentences back. So he could easily pull that carrot out of the ground. BUT NO!! He's a wuss! People should just accept that. Sasami asked Tenchi if he needed any help and bent down close to him glancing at his bulge, trying not to let him notice. PHaw:(Tenchi) What are you doing Sasami? DGirl:(Sasami) Umm... nothing, just staring at that cucumber sized bulge in your pants! YOU SICKO!!!! Sasami squatted down next to Tenchiand started to pull on the carrot. Mike:(Tenchi) Yeah... baby.. pull on that carrot. (the others just stare nervously at him) What? I can't make a perverted joke? After much effort the carrot was torn from the ground, carrying the little cabbitt Ryo-oki with it, Lobo: That would have really killed Ryo-ohki! She'd get her back broken or sumthin. and sent Sasami and Tenchi flying. Tenchi fell on his back and Sasami fell on top of his stomach face down. Tenchi and Sasami both moaned slightly in ecstasy as Sasami's pussy was mashed onto Tenchi's stiff dick. PHaw:(Tenchi) MY DICK!! YOU BROKE MY DICK!!!! Lance: I've just been struck blind by the idiocy of this lame lemon! Sasami enjoyed what she was feeling andstarted to move her hips up and down on Tenchi's bulge. Mike:(singing) You're love is like... a roller coaster baby baby... I wanna ride! Maxim: See! They act like she knows how to have sex... Tenchi was slightly dazed and as he came out of it he looked down to see his fantasies come true. PHaw: His jeans didn't rip... BUDDY LEE TESTED!!! Maxim: What fantasies? The house didn't blow up or sumthing? Or did I come down and stop this lemon from going on any further? Goku: I wish. God I should listen to Vegeta more... he was right about these. Mike: Somewhere right now.. Dark Mike is probably leveling Texas or Japan, cause I'm not there to stop him.... Tenchi reached down and lifted Sasami's tight shirt over her head and flung it aside. PHaw: Really by now, Ryoko or Ayeka would have came down and I wouldn't want to be Tenchi when they do find out. He's a dead man walking. Sasami was meanwhile undoing Tenchi's short's as well as her own. Goku: WOW!! She must have four arms. Tenchi lay totally naked undera half-clothed Sasami. All Sasami was wearing was her under-garments.Tenchi leaned forward between Sasami's young tits and undid her front-clasp bra with his teeth. DGirl: I like a man who has strong teeth. Purrrfect... Tenchi removed the bra with a small tug. Tenchi's hands moved down and grabbed the crotch of Sasami'spanties. Sasami started to get really wet now. Tenchi slipped the pink frilly panties in a swift motion. Mike: Slipped them off or did he put them on? Maxim: Tenchi's a crossdresser!!! I KNEW IT!!! Sasami raised up to allow herpanties to come off, Mike: Oh.... nevermind. He slipped them off. then she settle herself down on Tenchi'sstiff prick. PHaw: Must be using Viagra. I can't even get THAT stiff of dick. Mike: Thanks for that great image PHaw. Tenchi held Sasami on the tip of his prick and told thevirgin Sasami that this would hurt a bit, DGirl: Than it'll feel like you're going to sleep... for a very long time. (Mike stares at her with a what-the-hell look on his face) Sasami didn't care much because she wanted Tenchi so badly. Tenchi forced all of Sasami's weight down as fast as he could. Sasami cried out in pain as herpussy gave way to Tenchi massive prick was split open. All the men in the room hold their dicks: OWW!! It was split open! His dick split open! (all start to throw-up) Goku: Kill me now... Chi-Chi and the others can just revive me with the dragonballs for the twentieth time! The pain quickly subsided and was soon replaced with pleasure. Lobo: (singing) DEMONOID PHENOMENON!!! GET IT OUT!!! GET IT OUT!! Tenchi lifted Sasami until only the tip of his dick was left insideSasami. Tenchi brought Sasami back down and lifted her slowly back up.Tenchi continued this motion while lifting his hips up to meet Sasami'sdownstrokes. Maxim: Those are some complicated motions. I'm surprised they are even able pull them off. Mike: This is a lemon... They never make any sense what so ever. Goku: I didn't know Tenchi was so skilled in sex! Maxim: HE'S NOT! But apparently this author thinks he is. Read Damn Lemons. That's all I got to say about that. Lance: AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LIIIINE... CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!! Sasami started to gyrate her hips from side to side,trying to increase the friction inside her love hole. PHaw: She's turned to jello? Maxim: J E L L O! JELLO!! Mike: For two people who don't have any experience in this sort of thing... they know quite alot. Ryo-ohki was, meanwhile, PHaw: Trying to make sense of this lemon? Maxim: No... she'd probably go off and get Ryoko! Mike:(Mimicing Ryoko) What Ryo-ohki? You say they're fucking? Right in the Carrot Patch? Let's go save Tenchi's virginity. DGirl: Show us where they are Lassie... er.. I mean Ryo-ohki! PHaw: Doesn't anyone else see this? I mean can't Yosho see all this pretty damn well from the temple? Maxim: Yeah, he's always sweeping leaves or sumthin like that. still working away at the tip of thecarrot. Maxim: She'd be done by now! She goes through carrots like Marlon Brando through a Malt Shop. PHaw:(mimicing Marlon Brando) Yes.. get me some chicken wings... and some baby-back ribs.. Goku: Wait a minute... wasn't that carrot just ripped out a little bit ago? Mike: Goku... this is a lemon. The author doesn't think about that kind of stuff. She had no idea of what was going on at the surface. Ryo-ohkifelt small tremors in the ground from Tenchi's humping action, but thought nothing of it. Goku: Apparently no one else is either! Maxim: I'm telling ya, these authors don't think about other characters when they think this shit up. Back at the surface both Sasami and Tenchi were reaching theirclimax. Mike: You mean this horrid lemon is gonna be over soon? PHaw: Far from it! Lance:(talking to Joem) They're doing it like they do it on the Discovery Channel! Lobo: (to PHaw) You actually watch these things? PHaw: Got nuthing else to do... except bang Devil Girl. DGirl: And grow hemp! PHaw: Shut it! That's my "Secret Garden", so keep it a secret.. okay? There was much labored breathing and moaning between thetwo of them. Goku: Must've just walked Snake Way. I know from personal experiance. Tenchi slowed down a bit to try and prolong thepleasure for both of them. Ryo-ohki heard all the screaming and came up to investigate. She dug a tunnel along-side the carrot she was just eating and popped her little head out. Mike: KAPOW!!! RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!!! Maxim: Where is everybody? Life in the Masaki House ain't that interesting! Why hasn't the house blown up? Or where's Kagato when ya need him? PHaw: ..... Dead. (Everyone starts laughing) She watchedcuriously as Tenchi and Sasami screamed in ecstasy as they bothclimaxed. Goku: Movie's over.. BYE! (starts to walk off) PHaw: Not that easy Goku.... we're watching this to the bitter fucking end! Both exhausted, Tenchi and Sasami decided to rest for a while.They just lay there to catch their breath and relax their muscles. Maxim: For Tenchi that won't take too long. The guy has no muscles! Lobo: He's just a little turd who can't get any real sex from women his age. Mike: So he has to resort to fuckin' little kids like Freddy Krueger. Lance: EVERY TOWN HAS AN ELM STREET!!! PHaw: Sasami has more muscle than Tenchi. He let's girls dominate him. Maxim: What have I been telling you from the first MST? He's a... All: PUSS!!! Maxim: Exactly! When they were rested Tenchi made the first move by rolling over andreaching for the carrot that Ryo-ohki was nibbling on. Goku: This is not making any sense! Mike: Like your show does? How many times can you be revived by the Dragonballs? PHaw: And all this crap about being Super Saiyans? Lobo: I don't know any of this shit. So I'm not going to get involved. Okay? Lance: And how come Gohan's such a big puss? Goku: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Sasami looked up curiously and smiled at the thought of what Tenchi was about to do. DGirl: Stop this disgusting, degrading, and unholy act? Mike: For some strange reason... I have a bad feeling about what Tenchi's going to do with that carrot. Maxim: He's not gonna... Tenchi dusted off the carrot a bit, kneeled down in front of Sasami andstuffed the carrot up in her pussy. Maxim: He did... Mike: (To Goku) Is this legal in Japan? To fuck little girls? Goku: No! Mike: Hope the cops don't find out about this then. Lance: She's a vegetarian! (everyone stares at Lance in a grossed out way) DGirl: That was uncalled for. Ryo-ohki gave a whelp of protest andran to Sasami. She watched Sasami's pussy swallow the carrot and then jumped in after it. Goku: Huh?... PHaw: What the hell? Lobo: Is that.... possible? I'm just asking... Mike: What? Did they turn into twenty foot giants all of a sudden? Maxim: This is.... SICK!!!!!!! Sasami squealed with delight. PHaw: I find it hard to think of anything delightful about having a carrot and a cabbit stuffed up your pussy... can you help me figure this out Devil Girl? DGirl: THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!! Lance: Sex toys... gotta love 'em! (Mike punches him) OW!! WHAT I DO!?! Goku: You're a hentai!! A disgusting little hentai!!! Lance: BITE ME MONKEY-BOY!!! Goku: TAKE THAT BACK!!! Lance: You sucked in the Dragonball series!! Goku kicks Lance into the wall... knocking him out. Tenchi lifted Sasamiand crawled under her, laying her on his chest face-up. Tenchi stuffed his cock up her tight, little asshole. PHaw: Why do these Lemons involve a great deal of sticking things up people's asses? It's an unpleasant feeling! Mike: How would you know? PHaw: I don't want to talk about it! Maxim: Would his cock even fit in her ass? Ryo-ohki crawled up farther intoSasami's pussy in an effort to retrieve the stolen carrot. PHaw: Who here understands what the hell is up with Ryo-ohki in Sasami's pussy? How is that even possible? Maxim: Washuu must've shrunk Ryo-ohki. That's the only possible idea I have. Ryo-ohki,realizing that it would be impossible to pull the carrot out, sat andnibbled at the carrot. Ryo-ohki had to come up for air every once ina while, this increased the friction in Sasami's pussy. DGirl: This is not right! By this time Sasami was thoroughly enjoying herself. Mike: What's there to enjoy about being anally raped, and having a rabbit up your puss? Maxim: Don't forget the carrot! Sasami's tight ass musclesloosened up slightly, as Sasami began to relax. DGirl: Hard to imagine being relaxed while having this happen to you. PHaw: Remember... Lemon's don't have anything to do with reallity. Maxim: Yeah, really what would be happening is this: Sasami would be Screaming in pain, Ryoko and Ayeka would have already come to stop this, Tenchi's dick would be broken, Ryo-ohki would have been smothered in Sasami's pussy, and Ayeka would find some way to blame this squarely on ME! Goku: These stories are messing up my mind. I won't be able to look at life the same way, or carrots. Tenchi began to move up and down and lifted Sasami in an effort to get some friction onhis dick. Maxim:(Tenchi) I've ran out "juice". Tenchi slowly increased the pace at which he pounded hismeat into Sasami. Mike: Now they've included meat in this porno. God, no dignity! At the same time Tenchi reached around to tease his lovers' clit. PHaw:(Tenchi) You look stupid Mrs. Clit! Ha Ha!!! Lobo: How is this possible? Her pussy is already busy with Ryo- ohki and the carrot! His other hand grabbed Sasami's tiny pink nippleon her left side. Mike: She has nipples on the left side of her body? Lobo: Ew! She's a freak. DGirl: Well, she is alien. Sasami brought her right hand up to her breast andran little circles around her nipple with her index finger. Goku: She has got to be tired. PHaw: Remember!! THIS IS A LEMON!! They never get tired... Her otherhand moved down and reached between her legs. She continued down untilher hand met Tenchi's balls, Maxim: Wha? Tenchi's balls are between her legs? PHaw: Well, everything else seems to be! she then gave Tenchi's balls a light squeeze. DGirl: POP!!! (all of the men look at her nervously) Tenchi returned the favor by pinching Sasami's nipple and clit betweenhis thumb and index finger. Mike: He must have Gigantic Hands!! There's no way you'd be able to... oh yeah... I forgot. This is a lemon. By this time Ryo-ohki was almost done thecarrot and tried to push the rest of the carrot out through Sasami'svaginal opening. This gave Sasami a jolt of pleasure and brought herclose to climax. Sasami let Tenchi know this by tugging spasmodically onTenchi's balls, PHaw: Then ripped them off like a paper towel! Tenchi began to hump faster and faster trying to bringSasami and himself over the verge of climax. DGirl: How can you do that? After the orgasim, it's all done. It worked, both of them moaned and shuddered as they reached their second climax at the same.time. Lance: (Now awake) Creating a disturbance in the force!!! Cum began to seep out of Sasami's ass, PHaw: Cum out the ass? She is a freak!!! Tenchi waited until he was limp before he withdrew from her ass. Maxim: Disengage!! Ryo-ohki had finally pushed the rest of the carrot out of Sasami's pussy and began to nibble on it. Goku: Wouldn't the carrot taste bad now? PHaw: For the last time!!! This is a lemon.. Goku: OKAY!! I GET IT!!!! Sasami looked over to Tenchi and lovingly whispered "I LOVE You Tenchi." DGirl: FinallY!!! Goku: It's OVER!!!! Maxim: I've survived!!! End of Part 1 All: NNNNOOOOO!!!!!! Stay tuned for part 2-coming soon Mike: DEAR GOD!!! WHY?? PHaw: Luckily... there has never been a part 2!! Goku: Oh Thank god!!! THANK GOD!!! PHaw: Well, we've officially buried this lame fanfic lemon... for all eternity! There's just nothing else to make fun of it about. So I hereby say so long to At the Carrot Patch. It's dead now... and nobody should dig it back up. After all the guests left... PHaw and Devil Girl are sitting in bed wearing naught but the sheets... PHaw: (To Devil Girl) After seeing that disgusting fanfic... I don't think I can have sex tonight. DGirl: WHY NOT?? THANKS EVERYONE!!! --- PHaw410653 "Till the Bitter Fuckin End" Boobies!!!