No Need for Philosophy - Part 3

"Voided Argument"

A self-insertion semi-MST fanfic by StOriKami (mail to JoPf.mz@t-online.de)

<Huh? What does this "name" mean?>
<It's just one of my Trademark stupid, overly complex, bilingual puns, this 
one about Story, Origami and Kami. Please wait a few moments with questions 
and comments, ok? We'll have time for explanations after the beginning block 
of stuff.>
<OK... but I'll return to you later on this.>

This fanfic, in spite of the numbering, is my first. Please try to accept this 
the way it is intended. I might write the first two (and a few more) if the 
mood - and no lightning bolt, overheated flame, lawsuit or other unbearably 
undesirable effect - strikes me or someone persuades me to do it. 

This fan fiction is connected primarily to the Tenchi Muyo! (OAV) Universe 
mainly because I believe I feel the most empathy with its characters. If you 
read on, maybe you do too. And I hope to do them credit...

Besides, while I _do_ enjoy the occasional well-written, tasteful lemon, 

<I knew it! Uh... there are such things?>
<Hush... this _is_ fiction, you know!>

this work is _not_ a lemon! If it contains a little bit of lemony hints

<_What_ do you intend there?!?>
<Calm down! It's a just-in-case warning, nothing more!>
<I hope so. I just _hate_ getting put on display in ... such situations.>
<Except with you-know-whom, if you could get him so far?>
<HYPERDIMENSIONAL RUBBER HAMMER SMACK!>
<oooww...>

I only quote: "Honi suit qui mal y pense!" 

<Freely translated: "Your own thoughts betray you, hentai!">
<Nicely put!>

And now for the legal stuff: 
Disclaimer: The original concepts, ideas and images of any recognizable 
characters from trademarked or copyrighted material do not belong to me, but 
to those wonderful people who managed to create them, especially the people 
from AIC and Pioneer Ltd. for Tenchi Muyo! in all its variations. The only
claims I have are to StOriKami (that's me, myself and I) - at least as long
as slavery is outlawed and I'm not being bought or sold - 

<<As if that's gonna happen...>> 

and maybe to specific characters definitely declared not to be the trademarked
ones and not intended to be them, only inspired by them.

<That includes me, you think?>
<I hope so...>

So anyone intending to sue me, please don't! In any case, I'm broke and unable
to pay any significant amount of money (meaning anything with two digits or
more), so please refrain from overreacting and just accept my sincere apologies 
if you think you have been treated unfairly or anything like that.

<Phew, I guess that's it. I guess in future tries I'll put this at the end...>
<I would have done so in the first place! Look at the amount of space this has
taken!>
<_I_ would have thought _you_ were the last person to complain about wasted
_virtual_ space, my dear.>
<Just because of my lab in Tenchis cellar? That's different! The amount of
space drawn from sub-space is used with perfect efficiency... Oh, what the heck.
Now I've done it.>
<Yup. We have to begin now, you have used the Imaginator keyword.>

*Imagining Astral Space*
*Two figures, one large, overweight male one and a small, female one with a
huge amount of spiky hair are hovering in absolute emptiness, but somehow the
emptiness does seem neither infinite, nor frightening, neither dark nor cold.
It just...is. But somehow it also is a bit comforting and calm. They are
sitting as if on a sofa.*

"Did you summon your "free" space from here, Washu2-chan?"
"Not exactly. But that is not important right now. You _did_ include a
remote control, a timer switch or at least non-recharging batteries in your
construct?"
"As a matter of fact ... no."
*Washu2-chan develops a huge sweatdrop*
"You mean we're ... stuck? (_I_ am stuck in complete emptiness with ...
_you_?)"
"Not quite...Huh? What was that?"
"Uhh... nothing. (Just remembering this 'lemon' comment from before...)"
"I didn't understand all of that..."
"It wasn't meant to! So! Would you now _please_ give me an answer, "StOriKami"?"
"Hey! Calm down, uh... Washu2-chan, I didn't expect you to lose your cool _that_
fast in a perfectly normal strange situation. What's up?"
"I... I'M CAUGHT WITHOUT ACCESS TO MY STUFF OR MY FULL AMOUNT OF 
POWERS OR KNOWLEDGE BECAUSE I'M A WATERED-DOWN COPY OF MYSELF 
IN A DIMENSION I DON'T KNOW THE WAY OUT OF WHILE WEARING A BODY 
SHAPE NOT OF MY CHOICE, BUT SOMETHING BETWEEN, FRANKLY IN A MALE 
WET DREAM'S SHAPE AND COMPARATIVELY HELPLESS, WITH AN ADMITTED 
HENTAI WHO, AT LEAST AT THE MOMENT, COMMANDS INFINITELY MORE 
POWER THAN MYSELF, BECAUSE WE ARE BASICALLY TRAVELLING THROUGH 
HIS OWN FANTASY AND YOU ARE ASKING ME WHY I'M LOSING MY COOL?"

*StOriKami gets blown away head over heels about a dozen revolutions*

<I guess I was a little upset, wasn't I?>
<A LITTLE? I wouldn't have expected such a storm even from Ryoko!>

"WHOA! (I'd hate to make her _original_ angry when she's in full gear...)
Pipe down, Washu2! I had no intentions of anything of this kind before you
mentioned it!"

*surprised by her own effect* 

"Umm... but at least you understand now what worried me? ... Uh.. you _had_?"
"Have... do have... whatever! I've got _some_ self-control, you know! (Unlike
some I _could_ mention now... I guess Ryoko has _a lot_ more from her mother
than she herself knows.) When you appeared, I just thought I was dreaming..."
"You were."
"And you did clear that up pretty fast. I never expected the construct to work,
so I was a bit... out of it. At least you spoke English. I hate to think how
long it would have taken to understand Japanese..."

<Maybe with subtitles, hm? But you _did_ load the dubbed version.>
<And I'm glad of it.>

"Let's get to the point, OK? The CONSTRUCT?"
"Oh, that. I didn't use any of the things you mentioned, because It wasn't
necessary."
"ELABORATE! ... (very subdued) Remember, at the moment I may be only the third
or fourth greatest scientist in the universe at most, (getting upset again)
but do not treat me as the kid I usually looked like, because I'm gonna whip
your sorry @$$ if you do!"

*StOriKami: Sweatdrop*

"Ididntdoincludearemotecontroltimerorbatteriesbecausetheywerenotneededforthey-
wouldntworkanywaybecausetheconstructismostlyimmaterialexistingmainlywithinmy-
ownmindsojustbecausewereinastralspacehyperspaceorwhereverdoesntmeanihaveno-
accesstoitsowearenotstuckneverwereandwontbeaslongasyoudontdoanythingyouwould-
regretlaterbecauseyouwouldnotonlybestuckthenbutwouldendangeryourownexistence-
understood?"
"Gotcha.

<Did you really?>
<Yup. I do not overrate myself, even watered down like that.>

"Could you now be so kind as to explain to me now why we are now here?"
"You mean now-here or no-where?"

*W2: Forehead vein*

"You can joke again?"

*SOK: Waves his hand, sweatdrop*

"No joke, not really. Remember, while my construct was not intended to work,
it is my creation. So I'm the one who has the best chance to understand its
workings. As far as I can determine, once a jump between realities has been
initiated, it takes a certain amount of purely subjective time to execute the
shift. In the meantime, we, as the travelers, are stored in a place "between".
Our being conscious and aware seems to be a bug in the symbolic logic or the
fuzzy logic. It would be more convenient and effective for us to be unaware of
this step, for it is purely virtual time that passes now. Objectively and
physically, all the last subjective half hour has been less than a
quintillionth of a picosecond, for the transfer as such is per definitionem
timeless."
"If your theories are correct."
"Do you see any mistake?"
"Nice question without a printout."
"Oh... just a moment, I'll try to get one."
"DON'T!"
"Why not?"

*Searches in his pockets*

"Phew... I just thought you wanted to access your construct in mid-jump."
"Do you take me for suicidal? I just explained that we are on virtual time
here! If I _did_ access it, we really might be stuck here for any amount of
_real_ time, and I don't want to find out whether we could survive that."
"I know, I know."
"I don't."
"Huh?"
"Have a printout on me, I meant. But the specific theory of relativity
supports my conclusions."
"Oh, that. Waitamoment - Einstein? BWAHAHAHAHA!(*RIEL*)"
<RIEL = Rolling In Emptiness Laughing>
"Hey, he was a genius!"
"But verrry wrong, big boy!"
"I don't think so."
"No? Can you prove him?"
"I know you think you can dis-prove him, with your knowledge of faster-than-
light travel and dimensional tweaking, but that is exactly the point I meant."
"Huh? Okay, try to do your best, nerdy fanboy."
"Look who's talking just because she looks simply gorgeous. 

<Ooh, really?>
<Hush, not now!>

"But that is not important right now.

<Ooooo...>
<Self-control, remember?>

"You see, all these tricks are just that: tricks. You open up gates out of and
back into this space-time continuum and thus ignore its rules. But, you see,
_within this one universe_ the rules are working exactly as they are meant to."
"Admitted. Nice choice of reasoning. But don't you see, that the act of using
these tricks is proving, that, according to your esteemed Einstein himself, ...

<We should spare the readers the next few hours, don't you think?>
<Especially since we were discussing their spacetime while hovering in quite
another one. You were lacking in the math and scientific facts, but I couldn't
beat your willingness to accept new facts and assimilating them in your chain
of spurious logic.>
<Well, let's just say, I would hate to have to discuss all of this all over
again with your original self.>
<Don't remind me. I'm feeling quite original and independent now, thank you.>
<And I'm glad of it. Well, the main point is, regardless of the faults or
perfections of my theories or logic, we were lucky that I was right and that
we found a way to pass the time of non-time without losing our minds.>
<Especially because we extended your principles to discover the special 
relationship between virtual time and the various real-time zones. But you
did sound at times almost like these fungus-aliens from this old game you 
showed me.>
<*quoting emotionlessly* Time is equivalent to Non-Time. Space is equivalent
to Non-Space. Space and Time are inseparable. Non-Space and Non-Time are
inseparable. Therefore Non-Space and Time as well as Space and Non-Time are...>
<*playfully whacks him* Stop it!>
<"Oww..." Well, I think, we should return to the story, shouldn't we?>
<Story? What story? Okay, okay, whatever it is, we'll return to it now.>
<Or at least soon...>

*Several (supposedly purely subjective) hours later*
"So you say. Hmm... If that _is_ fact, Washu2-chan, then that would mean..."
"It would, doesn't it?"
"That any _real_ time, viewed from Non-Space, is equivalent to Time indexed 
-i and also equivalent to..."

*SOK suddenly begins to ramble on almost mechanically, as he had done 
some times before during the hours of discussion. A few sentences and 
complex mathematical formulas later...*

"... so we can just "exchange" time axises and move perpendicular to them.
(slackens) Ooff... did I just say what I think I said? That we can in a limited 
way manipulate not only virtual time, but real time as well?"
"Yes, it's an interesting application and variation of my own theories and 
experiments. The proof waits in your own continuum, when (IF) we return. 
But this voice of yours... I hate it when this happens."
"Can't help it. Without this "mode" I couldn't compete with you."
"Well... You just have to learn to think in your own mode. But it should be 
possible. Won't take more than about ten to twelve decades, I think."
"...(Blinkblink)..."
"And don't worry, by reversing the physical time flow without affecting the 
mental one you should be able to extend your lifespan sufficiently to learn 
the basics by yourself, without help from your "construct", and to _really_ 
use this artificial extension of your mind the way I do - uh - would do... 
Damn this mental fog."
"...(Blinkblinkblink)..."
"Yes?"
"You mean... you do too..."
"Possess an artificial, immaterial extension of my natural, amazingly sharp, 
resourceful, imaginative and brilliant, not to mention fascinating and 
beautiful mind to enhance and extend its already impressive capabilities 
beyond all normal limits? In one word: Yes. I just didn't want to mention
it because... well... I didn't want to put you down too much."

<Copy or not, nothing hurts your self-image, doesn't it?>
<You would be amazed. But no, I just _know_ my abilities.>

*Facefaults*

"So you just pulled my strings to keep my spirit up? You all the time only 
acted feeling helpless just to make me feel superior? (Getting angry)"

*W2: Sweatdrop*

"No... I _am_ relatively helpless... you _are_ somewhat superior at the 
moment, as much as..."
"(Angrily) "As much as it _pains_ you to admit this"? Do you want to 
say _that_? 

*W2: SWEATDROP. SOK: Forehead vein*

"Or "as much as it is possible for a human?" Did you mean _that_? 
Or something similar like that?"
"N-no..."

<I felt like Tenchi must feel around the girls quarreling...>
<Or like Mihoshi or Ayeka in front of a berserk Ryoko?>
<Hmmm... "Yikes".>
<Nicely put.>

*Sudden relaxation*

"And so what?"

*Facefaults*

"... Huh?"
"I said, so what?"
"... (Blink)... "
"Washu2-chan ... Do I come even close to your abilities?"
"... isn't that obvious?...(Blink)"
"I _did_ask, didn't I?"
"Uh... it rankles, but... yes. In some areas, you _do_ surpass me. 
Currently, at least (Definitely in the personality-surprise area)."
"Hey, that's all I need. In spite of what everybody tells me, I usually 
_am_ satisfied by being second place."
"You are?"

<I really didn't understand you. Still don't, in fact.>

"I just want to be _among_ the best in as many areas as possible. 
Mentally, at least. Physically, no chance without _serious_ cheating.
So, if I'm good enough to give you a good workout and survive mostly 
unscathed, I'm satisfied. Think about that whatever you want."

<Well, I just tried to explain. I don't think I can put it in better words.>
<Don't try. If you do, my brain may begin to itch again. Sometimes 
your abilities in spurious logic _do_ surpass everything I ever have 
experienced or woven myself. _Including_ "original" experiences.
And I am female. You know what I mean?>
<Don't want to. Don't want to think about it even.
...
Including Mihoshi?>
<*Sweatdrop*>

"Uhhh... another time. Another time _axis_, I'd prefer."
"Oh, yes. It _is_ "time", isn't it?"

*FADE OUT*

<Well, let's conclude for now. If anybody wants to know, where we 
landed...>
<And when.>
<Yes. Ahem... or where/when it began, let me know. My mail adress 
should serve for a while. So anybody, please let me know whether 
you liked this ... discussion... and whether I should tell you more.>
<I for my part hope so.>
<Well... me too. There _were_ a lot of crossovers and some _really_ 
interesting events. This Astral Non-Space/Non-Time _is_ a bit 
lacking in the actual event department...>
<Let's sign off now.>
<Okay. Let's.>

<*Signing Off*on 2000-01-26 - StOriKani amd Washu2>
<...-CHAN!>
<...-chan. Mail me at JoPf.mz@t-online.de; 
C&C ok, Flames only below 451°>
<Hey... your Handle?>
<Oh... another time, if necessary. Bye!>