DISCLAIMER - Welcome to episode 2! As you know, I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this MST. Well, except for Rick. Also, this is a MST of a lemon story, so no one under the age of consent should read it. Got that? Goody! Here we go... Rick shambled into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. 'Who keeps this thing stocked, anyway?' he wondered, grabbing a can of soda. He popped it open on his way into the huge living room of the Complex, which connected to the hallway leading to the personal quarters. It was late at night, and the lights were dimmed. Suddenly, Rick heard a faint chuckle from the direction of the quarters. He stopped and listened. There was the chuckle again, which Rick identified as Ryo's. While Rick was wondering what Ryo was up to, there was an odd noise, and then, a click. Again, a chuckle, but this time, Ryo interrupted himself with a "Shhhh." Another click, and all was quiet again. Rick stood there, took a sip from the can, and drew a hand through his messy hair. Then, "EEEEEEYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" - hand crafted reality productions - PRESENTS THE AMAZING MSTs OF RICK RAMSEY EPISODE 2: NIGHT SHIFT Rick sped towards the hallway. With a *BLAM*, Rally's door was opened, and Ryo stormed out. "HELP! HELP! HELP MEEEEEE!" A few seconds later, Rally emerged, clamping a gun under her arm while tying her robe. "YOU BASTARD! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" She ran after Ryo, into the living room. The sounds of violence and gunfire were heard. Rick calmly walked over to where Kamidake's door had just opened. The Royal Knight was standing there, dressed in his formal Juraian Sleepwear. It looked mostly like a mix of a normal Earth sleeping gown and Juraian robes, with plush balls over the chest and strips of fabric here and there. There was also the matter of the 'cute smiling space-trees'-pattern on it, which made Kamidake look rather silly. Nobody did dare mention it to him, however, because he had threatened Ryo with his staff when he had done so the first time, and then had Seth put up an image of the sleepwear Emperor Azusa wore, which had the other three inhabitants of the complex laughing for half an hour straight. Suffice it to say that Azusa's sleepwear was very obviously picked out by his wife Misaki. Rick looked at Kamidake, suppressing a grin. "They're at it again." Kamidake held up a finger, and pulled out his earplugs. "Pardon? The scream came through, but I couldn't hear what you said." "I said, 'They're at it again.'" "Oh. Well, let's go into the living room and watch." As they entered the living room, Rally was standing in front of one of the sofas, aiming her gun at Ryo, who was cowering behind it. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" "Sorry?! This is the FOURTH NIGHT IN A ROW you try something like this, dammit! I've had it with you! I'm-" "Now now, Rally, calm down, put down the gun, OK?" Rick interrupted. "It won't help you anyway," came Seth's voice, "Remember, I have ways and means to prevent anyone from being killed inside the Complex. Try to shoot him, and I'll intercept the bullet with a force field." "Damn. What about beating him up?" "Well, I think that's allowed, as long as the damage is non-permanent." "Good." Rally cracked her knuckles. "You can do that later." Seth interrupted again. "Right now, since you're all awake, let's get some work done and MST a fic I just got in!" "What, right now?" "I need my sleep." "No WAY am I gonna MST a fic together with this perverted bastard!!" "But Rally! It's a misunderstanding! I was just checking for... uuuh... for ninjas in your room! Really! They're SNEAKY! I was just worried about your safety and all!" Rally turned to glare murderously at Ryo, but Seth spoke before she could say anything. "Please get dressed and meet in the Theater." Grumbling, Rally walked off. The others followed after a moment. A few minutes later, the crew was assembled in the Theater. Rally was explaining the mechanics of what looked like a stick with a knob to Ryo. "It's called a taser rod, you see, and it works like this..." *BRZZZAP!* "AIEE!" "Now listen here. You get inside the range of this rod, you get zapped. Understood?" Still twitching a little, Ryo nodded, and sat down. Rick and Kamidake were sitting next to him, and Rally plopped down next to Kamidake to get as much space as possible between herself and Ryo. > This is for mature readers only please. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! All > characters in this story belong stricktly to the creators of the tenchi > series. This is in no way another series or episode to any of the tenchi > series! (The MSTers look at each other.) ALL: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! RALLY: Oh, HAHA!, oh, that was a good one. KAMIDAKE: Hehehe. Indeed. RICK: Like anybody would think that. HAHA! > I did not create any of these charaters and I dont any of > them.................SO DONT SUE ME!!!! > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > It was just like any other morning in the masaki residence. Ayeka and Ryoko > fighting over Tenchi,Sasami preparing breakfast, and LiL Washu fiddling with > another invention. RYO: Same old, same old. > Then they heard the whistle and than splash of Yugami. > Than they saw Mihoshi and Keoni walk through the door. RALLY: Then Mihoshi and Kiyone sat down at the table. RICK: Then Mihoshi asked, "What's for breakfast?" RYO: Then Sasami walked in, carrying a try of dishes. KAMIDAKE: Then Kagato took over Jurai. > > "HI! everyone" said Mihoshi cheerfully. > > "Hey" said Kionie sounding depressed. KAMIDAKE: Ahem. Her name is "Kiyone". Ki-yo-ne. Furthermore, I think I shall refrain from pointing out spelling mistakes, or we will be in here for hours. > > Kionie than looked at Tenchi with a sly sorta grin. She then grabbed Tenchi > and started to massage his balls. ALL: o_O! RICK: Uhm... okay? > > "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING" says Ayeka and Ryoko at the same time. RYO: Well, she's m-*BRRZZZAP!* YOW!!! RALLY: Watch it. > > Thats when kionie pulled out her blaster and pointed at Tenchi's head. She > goes I am relieving my stress and took Tenchi into Yugami and blasted into > space. KAMIDAKE: Didn't Yagami crash into the lake a few moments ago? OTHERS: Yes. KAMIDAKE: So she would have to have Washu repair it first. OTHERS: Yes. KAMIDAKE: But- RICK: Let's just read on, OK? > The next thing Tenchi knew he got knocked out. He awoke lying on > Kionies bed. RALLY: Well. That was pointless. > He got up and looked around, she was nowwhere to be found, > thats when he heard the shower, he put on a sly grin and thought I always > liked Kionie. RYO: Right. It's even MORE unlikely for Tenchi to put the moves on someone than Kiyone, who is the ONLY character in the series not in love with Tenchi, kidnapping him for sex. RICK: And before you ask, you all KNOW that there is a sex scene coming up. > He took off his shirt and went into the bathroom, he tore off > the curtains on the shower. > (The group starts to hum the "Psycho" theme.) > "OOOOOOO Tenchi what are you doi--" Kionie couldn't finish. RALLY(Kiyone): AAAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeee..... > > Tenchi kissed her passionately. RYO: Oh ho! (Rally glares at Ryo.) RYO: Sorry, sorry. (Ryo grabs a soda from under his seat and leans back, though.) > She let out a moan as Tenchi stuck his fist > in her cunt. (Ryo starts and chokes on his soda, while the others stare at the screen. After a moment, Rick pats him on the back.) RICK: Okay. Instead of commenting about that... RALLY: Or about how sick the author obviously is... RICK: Anyway, let's just forget we saw that. > Wait, said Kionie I dont wanna do this in the shower. RALLY(Kiyone): On second thought, I don't wanna do it at all. > Tenchi > nodded and walked out and lyed on the bed, it was kingsize so they would be > doing a lot rolling around he thought slyly. KAMIDAKE: At which point exactly did HE turn into a sex fiend? RICK: Must have been when he got knocked out. Perhaps that wasn't pointless garbage at all, but an important plot twist instead! RYO: And you believe that? RICK: Naaah. > I wonder why she kidnapped him KAMIDAKE: Who, him? RYO: Perhaps she kidnapped another male of the household too, while Tenchi wasn't looking. RICK: Who? Nobuyuki? OTHERS: URK! RICK: Sorry. > anyway he would of went if she asked. Huh, o well he thought I guess she > likes it kinky. > KAMIDAKE: What did he say? RALLY: Perhaps he got knocked out really hard... > Thats when Kionie got out of the shower wearing a loose fitting robe where > you could clearly see her breast but not her tit, her hair was down and it > was dripping water. Tenchi by surprise than got knocked out, everything went > black.......... RYO: What, again? KAMIDAKE: All this knocking out makes no sense. RICK: Wait. He SAW Kiyone while he got knocked out, and no one else is supposed to be aboard Yagami, so... (The others produce creepy music.) OTHERS: Dun dun dun dun dun DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN!!! > > --------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Back On Earth > > "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Ryoko screamed. > > " How dare she that skanky slut, how dare she do that to Tenchi" said Ayeka. KAMIDAKE: Princess Ayeka would never talk like that. RYO: What, you mean this fic is OOC? RALLY: *GASP!* No, really? RICK: What was your first clue? > > In the process almost all the furniture in the house was broken. Sasami > fainted and Mihoshi looked confused. RYO: Whoa! They can yell like you wouldn't believe, I tell you! > When Ryoko tryed to go after them Ayeka > said "No" > > "WHAT" screamed Ryoko. RICK: This time, the ceiling went down, and the trees outside dropped their leaves. > > When they get back we will have something instore for that skanky bitch. KAMIDAKE: Watch the quotes. And the exclamation marks. The spelling and grammar mistakes, I shall mercifully ignore. RALLY: That, or we'd be in here until morning. > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > Back On Yugami > > Tanchi slowly opened his eyes to see Kionies beautiful smiling face. She was > treating the cut on his head. Her touch was so soft and she only had love i > her eyes. When he tryed to get up he fell back. RALLY: So, Tenchi is a sex fiend. Kiyone is madly in love with him. HOW did this happen? RYO: Maybe it was when he stuck his f-*BEERRAAAZZAAARRAAARRRZZAARRPP!!!* YIEAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Ryo falls unconscious.) RALLY: Damn! I think that just depleted the batteries. > > "What happened" said Tenchi. > > "Something fell and hit your head" said Kionie. RICK: At least that's what she WANTS him to believe! KAMIDAKE & RALLY(creepy music): Dun dun DAAAAAAAAH dun!! > > Tenchi put his hands behind her head, her hair was soft and silky. He > brought their lips together and kissed passionately. He then couldnt stand > the pain any more and he fell asleep. RICK: Okay. MAYBE all this losing consciousness stuff IS pointless after all. KAMIDAKE: And it's not the only pointless thing in this fic. > > The next morning he awoke to the alarm only to see Kionies tender loving > eyes staring back at him. The pain was gone, but he felt a little groggy. He > got up and said I am gonna take a shower. KAMIDAKE: Ahem. Quotes. RYO(struggling awake): Gaaaaahh. > > "O no you arent said Kionie, you'll fall from the pain, I will run a bath > and I am going to wash you" she said with a sly grin. > > She got up exposing her perfectly shaped nude body and started to run a > bath. Tenchi got up and noticed he was nude too. RALLY: How convenient. KAMIDAKE: Convenient for the author, mostly. Every time Tenchi wakes up, he finds himself at the beginning of a new sex scene. This can mean two things. OTHERS: What? KAMIDAKE: Either, the mysterious figure who knocks out people is a retired stage prop man gone mad on his way to world domination, or... OTHERS: Yes? KAMIDAKE: The author is too stupid to come up with proper scene changes. RALLY: Hmmmm. RYO: That makes sense. RICK: Even more so, considering the total absence of any plot. > This will be fun he > thought. He walked to steps got dizzy and fell Kionie ran in the room picked > him up and put his arm on her shoulder and walked him into the bathroom. He > got in the tub and went to get the soap when he remembered what Kionie said, > that she was gonna wash him. So he sat back. KAMIDAKE: Please note the complete lack of proper punctuation in the above paragraph. > > She then got into the tub with him. She kissed his cheek got the soap and > rag and started to wash him. She washed every part of his body Tenchi was > totally erect, his penis was sticking out of the water. > > "WOW your big she said" Kionie said. KAMIDAKE(Tenchi): My big said what? What's a big, anyway, and why do I have one? RYO: Maybe it's some kind of talking pet? RICK: A Furby?! RALLY: EEEEEEK! KILL IT! KILL IT NOW!!! > > After she cleaned and washed Tenchi she started to get out when Tenchi said > "COME HERE!!!!" He grabbed her lied her back and started to kiss her neck, > she sqealed with happiness since it felt sooooooooooooooo good. He worked is > way to her breasts, they were beautiful and round he massaged the right one > as he nibbled and suckled on the left. She loved every second of it, he then > went to the other breast and did the same. RYO: Hey! RICK: What? RYO: Tenchi has gone for more than 20 lines without falling unconscious! RICK: WHOA! You're right! RALLY: Amazing. > > He worked his way her stomach until he hit water. he realized this was a > problem, "we cant get out she said, pleez dont stop" Kionie sqealed. She got > up on the ledge of the tub as Tenchi made his way to her slit. He licked it, > then dug his face in it, she moaned,"UUUHHHHHH YEAH TENNNNCCCCCHHIIII." He (Ryo tries to pronounce the "CCCCC", chokes, and goes into a coughing fit.) > found her erect clitoris and started sucking on it, he started slow than > sped up her moans doing the same. She felt her climax coming on she arched > her back and came in Tenchi's mouth, to her surprise he slurped it all down. > > "MMMMMMM" Tenchi said "you taste good". RYO: Tastes like chi-*WHAP!* *WHACK!* (Ryo is slapped by Rick and whacked by Rally's rod.) RYO(to Rick): Hey! Why did YOU hit me? RICK: Old joke. RALLY: Perverted, too. > > Then the ship started to shake and the started to heat up. Kionie than said > " SHIT we're going through the atmosphere of a planet if we dont get control > of the ship soon we will hit the planet and explode. RICK: Uh huh. Now that's an unexpected plot turn. RALLY: Unexpected, but stupid anyway. > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Hey dont worry it ain't over the exciting Part 2 will be coming soon. ALL: Yeehaa. RICK: I can hardly wait. > > If you have any question, comments or ideas please e-mail me at > pidgeondweeb@aol.com > SETH: Okay... that's it. ALL: Thank goodness! (They exit the Theater.) "Well, what are your opinions?" The group was in the lounge, finishing their review. "Stupid." "Pointless." "Bad." *SNORE* Ryo was slumped over on a couch, already asleep. "Okay, this time, let's forget about that. You can go to bed now." Leaving Ryo asleep in the room, they left, heading for their quarters. See you next time! Today's Stinger: > She let out a moan as Tenchi stuck his fist > in her cunt. - AUTHOR'S NOTES - This one has been lying around on my disk for weeks in a 95% finished state. Now it's done :) Of course, comments are welcome. Mail me at: hcr@zardian.de Damn, I'm tired :) I'm off to bed, too! 2001-11-07, 23:08, PR *** EOF