Subject: [FFML][Idea/Spamfic][Ranma][TM] No Need For A Homemaker Date: Tue, 01 Dec 1998 22:29:37 -0800 From: Adrian Tymes Organization: Pacific Bell Internet Services To: ffml@fanfic.com [I doubt I will have time to flesh this one out, so I'll just post the core part and hope it inspires someone with more time than I. The usual disclaimers apply.] ****** Kasumi hummed a happy tune as she prepared dinner. Her mind was bouyant on clouds of good will and cheer, and she was contagious. Even Akane and Ranma abruptly stopped fighting the instant they heard her. Akane peeked into the kitchen. "Is everything ok? Do you need help?" "Just fine." Kasumi giggled. "Dinner's almost ready, but if you'd like to help serve, I wouldn't mind." Ranma's heart slowed back to normal. There was no way could Akane mess up dinner just by serving it...was there? He turned his attention back to the dinner table. All of the usual people were there, plus two contractors Nabiki had hired to repair the dojo after a particularly destructive week. Where she came up with these crews was anybody's guess, but they seemed to be pretty cheap: they worked for just room and board. The blonde was enough of a klutz to do as much damage as she fixed, but her partner was easily competent enough for both of them. Ranma would have preferred to just have the latter around, but she had insisted that either they both work, or neither would work. He sat down next to the teal haired one, trying his best not to notice the looks the blonde sent his way. "Mihoshi, I thought I told you to stop drooling over him! He's already GOT a fiance!" Ranma definitely wished that they could have hired Kiyone alone. Further contemplation was forestalled by the arrival of Akane and Kasumi. Kasumi started serving Kiyone, while Akane started with Ranma and worked her way around. Ranma took his portion with grace, checking it a few times after Akane had moved on to make sure she had not 'accidentally' spiced up his dish. Satisfied that his food was still edible, he glanced at Kiyone... ..whom Kasumi was still serving. A tiny bead of sweat trickled down Ranma's ear as he watched Kasumi fuss over Kiyone's food. It was as if she was terrified that Kiyone would turn into yet another martial artist bully if everything was not perfect, but her attentions took so long that Akane made it all the way around to Mihoshi before Kiyone finally shooed Kasumi away. Ever alert for odd phenomena, Ranma easily noticed Kasumi's unusually high amount of small talk during dinner, most of it directed at Kiyone. He quickly traced a path for his sight to take so he would not have to make eye contact with Mihoshi, despite her numerous attempts to gain his attention. Everyone else, though, he did make eye contact with, and it appeared that they had all noticed this oddity as well. Halfway through dessert, Nabiki finally managed to slip in a sentence. "So, how go the repairs?" "I've been watching them all day," Kasumi chirped. "I even helped a bit." Kiyone nodded. "I think we're almost done. I'd say tomorrow, but we keep finding new holes to fix every time we check." "Indeed." Nabiki stared at Kiyone, obviously trying to frown but unable to with Kasumi radiating happiness right next to her. "I've inspected your work, and many of those holes weren't here when you started. If Kasumi hadn't been watching you, I might think you made those holes just to give yourselves more work." Kiyone shrugged. "That would explain why we keep finding more, but if someone's been making those holes, it wasn't us. Like you said, Kasumi was watching us; she would have seen if we did." "I don't suppose you have any friends who might be sneaking in and..." "That is enough, Nabiki." Soun locked eyes with his daughter. "Genma and I were here all day, too, keeping a vigilant eye out for just such a possibility." Mihoshi blinked. "I thought you just sat here all day playing shogi." Kiyone buried her face in her hands. Soun smiled. "Ah, what the untrained eye does not see. We merely looked like we were playing, so as to lull any interlopers into a false sense of security. In truth, we were both meditating; our minds' eyes had the entire property under surveillance the whole time." "So...why didn't you see the water coming when the pipes in the bathroom broke?" Panda-form Genma growfed, and held up a sign which read, "We did see it. We chose not to get out of the way. Our meditation could not be disturbed." Kiyone shook her head. "That's another thing. You never told us how you could shapeshift. We thought humans were incapable of that." Akane snorted. "There is some debate as to whether my fiancee is a human. He certainly does everything humanly possible to throw himself at any girl that shows the slightest interest in him!" Ranma winced. "Akane!" Mihoshi looked at Akane, then at Ranma. "Are you sure you want to be engaged to her? I mean..." A deathly silence fell across the table as everyone, except Kasumi, stared daggers at Mihoshi. "What?" Kiyone sighed. "Mihoshi? Do you think you could POSSIBLY stop trying to win him over?" "Well...I could...but-" Mihoshi's face was abruptly moved into the rest of her dessert, courtesy of Akane's mallet applied to the back of her head. ****** The next day, Kiyone was just inspecting the latest patch to the dojo when she heard a crack around the corner. Racing to investigate the source, she pulled up short when she saw Kasumi applying a hammer to a fresh hole in the wall. "Kasumi?" Kasumi looked up, gasped, and dropped the hammer. "I-it's not what it looks like! I was just...err...taking care of a spider, and I got a little carried away..." "There's no spider there." "Well, you can't see it from over there. It's an awfully tiny one, and I probably scattered its bits..." "There is no spider. Don't lie to me, Kasumi. I've been trained to know when people are lying to me. Your voice is trembling." Kasumi gasped, then broke down crying. "How about the truth? If you've got a good reason to hide this, I won't tell anyone. Not that I like doing more work than I have to to get the job done, and I definitely don't like working under false pretenses, but I need to know why you are doing this." "Be...because I don't want you to leave." "Oh?" "Kiyone..." Kasumi sniffled, then launched herself at and glomped Kiyone before the detective could react. "I love you." "Whaaat?" "All my life, I've been looking for an honest worker, someone kind and caring who I could cook and clean for. Someone better than me, to devote myself to. Almost everyone around here is a fighter, or dishonest, or a pervert...I almost went for Dr. Tofu, once, but he can't control himself when he's near me. He kept hurting my sisters and everyone when I visited. But you...you are exactly whom I've been looking for. I don't even care that we're both women; I just want to be there for you, to be your housewife..." Kiyone sighed. "Look. First off, the feeling's not mutual. You aren't who I'd want in a lifemate. Now, don't take that the wrong way. You're a nice person...too nice, almost...but you're just not my type. Second, you are...well..." Kasumi's tears slowed. "...umm...how to put this?" Kasumi looked at Kiyone. "Just say it, please. If I'm worthless, I want to know. Am I imperfect? Is it that I can't fight when everyone else can? Oh, I tried to follow in Daddy's footsteps, but..." "No, Kasumi. You're just obsolete, that's all." Kasumi blinked. "Obsolete?" "Yes. Now, what I'm about to show you, you have to PROMISE me you won't tell anyone else. Ok?" "Ok." They vanished in a blaze of light. ****** Kasumi had never been in a spaceship before. She knew what they were, of course. She had watched a few rocket launches, one of them in person, and knew a little bit about how things were supposed to be different in orbit. Which was why her first thought upon materializing in the Yagami's bridge was, "Earth's down there? Why aren't I floating?" Two seconds later, it struck her. Kiyone waited for the initial shock to pass before speaking. "Welcome to the Yagami." "Is this...yours?" "Well, technically it belongs to my bosses, but they've given me pretty broad authority to do what I want with it...so long as I also do what they want, of course. I am the captain of this vessel." "Where...how..." Kasumi sized up Kiyone, fear in her eyes. "What are you? No one on Earth owns their own spaceship." "Detective First Class Kiyone of the Galaxy Police. And you're wrong. Even discounting this ship, I can name at least one other person currently on Earth who does own her own spaceship, and two more who did until their ships were destroyed." Kasumi's mouth hung open. "Now, the reason I brought you here was to show you what I do for housekeeping. You see, with all the technology on this ship, we have robots that clean up for us, and cook our food. We're under orders to mingle with Earth culture; if we weren't, I'd rather save money by just sleeping up here. I actually prefer the food packages up here to most Earth cooking, and I know Mihoshi does too, but we're not supposed to use the food preparation systems since Earth has its own food. It's an acquired taste...I doubt you'd like the food here the first time you tried it." "You...you mean..." "Yes. I have no need for a homemaker." ****** [A bit of spit, polish, and some things I won't name, and this might make the first Kiyone/Kasumi lemon (at least that I'd be aware of). That aside...other than her sex, Kiyone does seem like a perfect fit for what Kasumi would look for in a mate, no?]