From: "Trakal" To: Washu@cohprog.com Date: Fri, 10 Jul 1998 01:12:52 +0000 Subject: [Washu ML] You will NEVER believe what this post is about A Letter to Little Washu, I sit here alone, with my two cats, Ryo-Ohki and Tenchi, on the seventh anniversary of my dear child's birth. I miss her ever so much. A tear runs down my cheek and I don't try to catch it. There's something refreshing in its presence. I blink a little and try to type some more... Oh Washu... Little Washu... I know the pain you went through when you lost your firstborn child. I know your heart-ache. I know how it feels knowing that when you don't cry, there are some who see it as proof that you didn't care anyhow, and when you do others see it as proof that you're too unstable to be a mom. I know how it changes silence from that sweet sound we longed for during times of turmoil, to that bitter reminder that the only we carried in our wombs and hearts for 9 months is not there. I look around my small apartment. There is no room for a crib. I keep it cluttered. Mom thinks I'm just a slob when she comes to visit, but its because if I left a space, I'd know that's where my little one might have slept and I cannot face the pain. I look at the refrigerator and there are no little drawings stuck to it. The floors have a bit of laundry strewn about, but there are no muddy handprints on the walls, no toys on the floor... there never have been... and I miss them. And so, Little-Washu, you and I occupy ourselves with other things, mostly our computers, and we pretend the pain isn't there and perhaps we can fool our minds and our bodies.... .. but our souls know better. Lt. Trakal Operative of the Galaxy Police SIU