Disclaimer: Tenchi belongs to AIC and Pioneer, The Rocky Horror Show belongs to Richard O' Brian. NOTES: Well, here we go. THE LYRICS. Do you know how many song parodies are here? NINETEEN!!!!! This DOUBLES my number of fics! Enjoy lots. -Jim THE TENCHI HORROR SHOW- LYRICS!!!!! There is a copy of this in the script, but this is for easy use- Songs, in order, with singers: 1- MARTIAL LEMON - ANIME EXPO * Ayeka 2- DAMN, ACHI-SAN * Nobuyuki Achika 3- OVER THE LEMON\LIME PLACE * Achika Nobiyuki Yosho 4- THE LIGHT HAWK * Yosho Ayeka Ryoko Kagato 5- SWEET PAEDOMORPHIC * Washu 6- THE MASTER KEY * Tenchi 7- I CAN MAKE YOU ASCEND * Washu 8- GOSH GOLLY, HOKEY POKEY * Mihoshi 9- I CAN MAKE YOU ASCEND (reprise) * Washu Achika All 10- TENCH-A TENCH-A TENCH-A TENCHI * Ryoko et al 11- SWEET LITTLE CHILD Nobuyuki 12- MIHOSHI'S KAREOKE * Kiyone Kagato Washu Yosho Achika Mihoshi 13- CREATURE FEATURE * Washu Achika All 14- ECCHI MY WORLD * Achika Nobuyuki Tenchi Ryoko 15- DON'T FIGHT IT, WRITE IT Washu Nobiyuki Kiyone Achika Ryoko 16- A CHILD WITH AN UNNAMED PAIN * All 17- I'M ON MY OWN Washu 18- SUPER SAIYANS * Nobuyuki Achika Kagato 19- MARTIAL LEMON - ANIME EXPO (reprise) * Ayeka WARNING: LIKE THE ORIGINAL ROCKY HORROR SHOW, THIS CONTAINS SOME QUITE SEXY CONTENT! IT IS NOT LEMON, BUT IT IS CITRUS IN FLAVOUR, AND SO ARE ALL THE SONGS! ONLY READ ON IF YOU HAVE EITHER SEEN THE ORIGINAL SHOW OR THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT! MARTIAL LEMON- ANIME EXPO Ayeka: Vegeta was sayin' When Goku was a super saiyan That he just didn't care And Sakura was hurt With a blowing skirt Cutey Honey was with The Dirty Pair Then something went wrong Akira and Pokemon Got caught in a door with their hair Then like a game player Firing a Kamehameha They let their clothes rip and then tear... Martial Lemon (oo oo oo) Anime Expo Certificate 18 (oo oo oo) built by Doctor Gero See androids fighting (oo oo oo) Tien and Krillen DBZ (oo oo oo) gets top billing Wo oh oh oh oh oh At the late night, Lemon Ani-me, Expo I knew Sailor Saturn Was sewing a pattern When Yuffie stole things from Cloud And I really felt great When Tien tri-beamed a state- Sized hole for Cell in the ground Duo said Trowa Had so much raw power That in his gundam he pleased all the crowd I'll beat the ESUA Said Washu to Dr. Clay 'cause I'll shout my attack twice as loud In the... Martial Lemon (oo oo oo) Anime Expo Doctor Clay (oo oo oo) will help Kagato See clow cards fighting (oo oo oo) the Card Captors Expect the unexpected in (oo oo oo) this Mighty Book's Chapters Wo oh oh oh oh oh At the late night, lemon ani-me, expo I wanna go - Oh oh oh oh To the late night, martial lemon ani-me By A.I.C. - Wo oh oh oh To the late night, lemon ani-me, expo In Sailor Scout clothes- Oh oh oh oh At the late night, lemon ani-me, expo DAMN, ACHI-SAN Nobiyuki: Hey, Achika Achika: Yes, Nobu-san? Nobiyuki: It would really make my day Achika: Uh huh? Nobiyuki: If you, in that...skilful way Float above the ground When you hear me say Achika: Oh...oh, Nobiyuki... Nobiyuki: E-ve-ry word need a speaker Chorus: Achika Nobiyuki: And ev-e-ry drink needs a beaker Chorus: Achika Nobiyuki: So let me no longer be meeker Chorus: Achika Nobiyuki: I've one thing to say, and that's Damn, Achi-san, I love you If a story were made into a picture Chorus: Achika Nobiyuki: Our love would be the main feature Chorus: Achika Nobiyuki: It's a wonder to me that I reach ya' Chorus: Achika Nobiyuki: I've one thing to say, and that's Damn, Achi-san, I love you Here's a ring to prove that I'm not fooling Your an empress to my pauper in this show Queen, King, Ace, it's overruling Oh A-C-H-I-SAN I love you so Achika: Oh, I never dreamt it was in our view Chorus: Nobu Achika: Now were we're together, me and you Chorus Nobu Achika: I'm feeling love and it's so new Chorus Nobu Achika: I've one thing to say, and that's It's true, Nobu , I'm all for you Oh, Nobu Nobiyuki: Oh, damn Achika: It's true Nobiyuki: Oh, Achi-san- Achika: I'm for... Nobiyuki: I love you too Achika & Nobiyuki: There's one thing left to do, ah-hoo Nobiyuki: And that's go see our old science teacher Chorus: Achika Nobiyuki: Who introduced us in a class on Neitscher Chorus: Achika Nobiyuki: She was a wonderful preacher Chorus: Achika Nobiyuki: Now I've one thing to say, and that's Damn, Achi-san, I love you Damn, Achi-san Achika: Nobu, It's true Nobiyuki: Damn, Achi-chan Achika & Nobiyuki: I love you Disclaimer: Tenchi belongs to AIC and Pioneer, The Rocky Horror Show belongs to Richard O' Brian. OVER AT THE LEMONLIME PLACE Achika: In the limelit darkness Of the blackest fic There a sick, but intriguing glow No matter where or when you go Nobuyuki and Achika: There's a light- All: Over at LemonLime place Nobuyuki and Achika: There's a light All: Yellow fruits in the black of space Achika: There's a craving, craving for citrus in everybody's heart Nobuyuki: I can see the innocence I can see the youth It's the truth- but there has to be Something sexy behind the mask, I see Nobuyuki and Achika: There's a light All: Over at the LemonLime place Nobuyuki and Achika: There's a light All: Yellow fruits in the black of space Nobuyuki: There's a craving, craving for citrus in everybody's heart Yosho: The ecchi must come Through the pretence of your cover Show the humans below, let the clothes and curves Reveal ourselves to each other To each other... Nobuyuki and Achika: There's a light All: Over at the LemonLime place Nobuyuki and Achika: There's a light All: Yellow fruits in the black of space There a craving, craving Nobuyuki and Achika: For citrus in everybody's heart THE LIGHT HAWK Yosho: It's so potent Power's streaming Racial memories fill the mind Watch up closely Ayeka: It's grip is much stronger! Yosho: My anger's makin' me blind Ooo I remember Doin' the light hawk Fightin' those m-m-m-monsters when My tree would be waiting And Tsunami's voice calling- Trio: Let's do the Light Hawk Again! Let's do the Light Hawk Again! Kagato: It's just a wild flash of rage- Trio: Then those feathers of light Kagato: With your hands on the hilt Trio: You let the blade of ignite But it's that forward thrust That really deep-fries your brain- Let's do the Light Hawk Again! Let's do the Light Hawk Again! Ayeka: It's so groovy Ojosama to oyobi Bow to my ship-tree Or I'll kill you all In a psuedo-space vacuum I hope we'll be back soon Most of us will...but not all! With a kick and fast pace Adventures in Time and Space Just call me Princess... don't say my name! In tune with your creation Trio: And spaced out on G.P. station! Let's do the Light Hawk again! Let's do the Light Hawk again! Ryoko: I was sittin' in the shrine Just a bidin' my time When a grey haired fool Brought me into crime Forced my mind Took me by suprise Had an enourmous sword And powers from Jurai Looked at me and I felt something I bowed to his light hawk wings- Trio: Let's do the Light Hawk again! Let's do the Light Hawk again! (tap dancing and whip cracking from Ayeka accompained by moans) Trio: Let's do the Light Hawk again! Let's do the Light Hawk again! Kagato: It's just a wild flash of rage! Trio: Then those feathers of light Kagato: With your hands on the hilt! Trio: You let the blade of ignite But it's that forward thrust That really deep-fries your brain- Let's do the Light Hawk Again! Let's do the Light Hawk Again! SWEET PAEDOMORPHIC NOTE: Before anyone gets any ideas, a Paedomorphic is a term for any species in which the adult form is exactly the same as the child form, ie. no change in plumage/ colour, etc. So Washu IS a paedomorphic, because she is an adult who looks like a child. Washu: Oh, hello I see you've met my Pretty little sailors They're a bit upset Becuase, for their chamberette They're waiting for a new set of impalers Don't get strung out By the way that I act cold Don't open, that gaping portal For a start I may only look 12 years old But in my heart I'm as good as immortal! I'm just a sweet paedomorphic From paediatric Pensylvania! Washu and Chorus: (Uh huh) Washu: Let me open my doors Maybe you could show me yours You look a bit down in the weather But if you fancy something lighter But none the less tighter I'll swap a nurse's kit for this heavy leather Nobiyuki: I'm glad we happened to fall Could we make a call? We both need a little help starting We'll just go from where we are Back to the land of the stars We don't want to ruin your party... Washu: You got caught in the storm- Well, that's a new one Why don't you just tell me the truth? You've seen my picture before And you liked what you saw So you wanted to slip under my roof! I'm just a sweet paedomorphic From paediatric Pensylvania! Washu and Chorus: (Uh huh) Washu: Why don't you...wait for the light Chorus: (light) Washu: Now, there's no need to fight Chorus: (fight) Washu: I could show you my latest creation I've been makin' a boy For a CUDDLY toy He's good for a little...elation! I'm just a sweet paedomorphic From paediatric Pensylvania! Chorus: (Uh huh) Hit it, baby! Washu: I'm just a sweet paedomorphic Chorus: (sweet paedomorphic) Washu: From paediatric Pensylvania! Chorus: (Uh huh) Washu: So, come on down to the crypt And have your inhibitions stripped Uh! I see you QUIVER with sa-tis-faction! But...maybe your nerves Are what I observe So, I'll remove those fears But not...the action! THE MASTER KEY Tenchi: I think the master key is hanging over mah head And I've got a feeling someone's wishing me dead Oh, woe is me My life is a anime Oh, can't you see? That I'm at the start of a very iyou ge-mu! I woke up this morning and a fantasy was realesed Chorus: (That ain't no vice) Tenchi: This sinning is a disbalance in my natural peace Chorus: (That ain't no vice) Tenchi: Oh, I feel a fool My Tenchi-ken is in full view And it's so true- That I'm at the start of a very iyou ge-mu! Chorus: Sha la la la that ain't no vice Tenchi: Oh no no no no Chorus: Sha la la la that ain't no vice Tenchi: Oh no no no no Chorus: Sha la la la that ain't no vice That ain't no vi-i-ice! Kagato: Tenchi Horror, you need some advice I've come to tell you that your acting real nice As the product of that mad woman's sugar and spice Feeling bad, well, that's no vice Chorus: That ain't no vi-i-ice! Tenchi: I think the master key is hanging over mah head Chorus: (That ain't no vice) Tenchi: And I've got a feeling someone's wishing me dead Chorus: (That ain't no vice) Tenchi: Oh, woe is me My life is an anime Oh, can't you see? That I'm at the start of a very iyou ge-mu! Chorus: Sha la la la that ain't no vice Tenchi: Oh no no no no Chorus: Sha la la la that ain't no vice Tenchi: Oh no no no no Chorus: Sha la la la that ain't no vice That ain't no vi-i-ice! Sha la la la that ain't no vice Tenchi: Oh no no no no Chorus: Sha la la la that ain't no vice Tenchi: Oh no no no no Chorus: Sha la la la that ain't no vice That ain't no vi-i-ice! Sha la la! I CAN MAKE YOU ASCEND! Washu: A Saiyan Only 3 ft tall Gets an anureism If you say that he's small His son beats him still And soon on a hill The anger and hate As he hovers and waits Will make him insane and irate The humilition will grate He'll be trapped In one state He'd be a strong man All: But not a blonde man Washu: He'll shadow box, run And do what he should Try to understand what makes heros good Such an effort! If he only listened to his friend... In just 1 day in my chamber... All: I can make you ascend! Washu: He'd do tribeams, And flares Gatling gun and big bang I think that kind of training Really must ruin a man No more frustrated screaming- When you see what I can lend 1 day in my chamber... All: And I'll make you ascend! GOSH GOLLEY, HOKEY POKEY Mihsohi: What every happened to that Tokyo bar? When you ate your Sushui and felt like a star It don't seem the same since I came so far Sung my favourite songs And though I was a Goddess I used sing with my partner Kiyo Listen and sing to Duran Duran with 'Rio' A mic and a song with a bit of luck You'd sing through the night And you might even Have a high score! Mihoshi and Chorus: Gosh Golly, Hokey Pokey- I really love that Kareoke! Gosh Golly, Hokey Pokey- I really love that Kareoko! Mihoshi: Uh-uh! Uh-uh! My lips used to sing to music without thought My mind would remember all I'd ever been taught I'd touch the heart of my partner And thats when my breath caught She would whisper in my ear That she really was my mistress Get back to the bar and ask for a bag While the next couple's song would really drag You put your hands on the mic Try not to let yourself lag It felt really good cos' You always had a High Score! Mihoshi and Chorus: Gosh Golly, Hokey Pokey- I really love that Kareoke! Gosh Golly, Hokey Pokey- I really love that Kareoko! Gosh Golly, Hokey Pokey- I really love that Kareoke! Gosh Golly, Hokey Pokey- I really love that Kareoko! Mihoshi: (screams) I CAN MAKE YOU ASCEND! (reprise) Washu: ...but a melee glow and some big hair A charged attack and a evil stare Makes me smileeeeeeeeee Makes me wanna kiss Nahoko Hasagawa (or Akira Toriyama) for her (his) style 1 day in my chamber and... All: I can make you ascend! Washu: I don't want no raw power... Just someone I can devour! Achika: We want Saiyan men! Washu: 1 day in my chamber... All: And I can make you ascend! Washu: It's alright in the end... All: 1 day in the chamber and...she can make you ASCEND! TENCHA-TENCHA-TENCHA-TENCHI Ryoko: I was feeling alone On my own I'd never seen a guy before Achika: Just like us! Nobuyuki: Uh huh. Ryoko: Mum would never let me Men could never pet me But now I need a boy Who's out to get me Now all I want to do Is find a man that's true I've waited far to long to stall I'll lower my sheild for you I want blood, through and through You've got a single bed But I've got one for two! Tencha-Tencha-Tencha-Tenchi I could handle a senshi But your my passion, my ecchi So let me taste and bite Then if you run and hide I will chase you inside I'll make it so hard for you to call Maybe bind and gag you Down to my cave I'll drag you You've got to have a freind And I've got to have you! Tencha-Tencha-Tencha-Tenchi I could handle a senshi But your my passion, my ecchi So let me taste and bite Chorus: (starts up "Gosh Golly, Hokey Pokey- I really love that Kareoko" in the background) Ryoko: Tencha-Tencha-Tencha-Tenchi Get down on that Bench-i That place that you send me To feels so right Tencha-Tencha-Tencha-Tenchi I don't need any other men-shi All this passion might end me So hold me till the light Tenchi: Hold you till the light? Nobuyuki: Hold me till the light Washu: Hold me till the light Achika: Hold me till the light Yosho: Hold me till the light Ayeka: Hold me till the light Tenchi: Hold me till the light Ryoko: Hold me...till the light! SWEET LITTLE CHILD Nobuyuki: Sweet little child I don't want to hurt you But you look so out of place and All alone It isn't right For you to be lonely You look around The child you found In a second she is go-owa-owa-owa-owa-ne And that was the pace That she moved And made herself...disappear The cuter it's face The easier To sooth the wounds You hear something About a girl With a magic stone So baby, don't cry You're a super hero After you fight, there's a helping hand And they'll be your mother And your father So dry your tears I'll calm your fears It'll be okay And that's all the thought That she used To put her trust...in me So give me a kiss Little girl of mine You look around The one you found Is your own child- Chorus: Is your own child Nobuyuki: Is your own child- Chrous: Is your own child Nobuyuki: Is your own child- Chrous: Is your own child Nobuyuki: Is...your...own...chiiiiiiiiild MIHOSHI'S KAREOKE NOTE: Yes I know I've used the word 'Kareoke' in two songs now, but there are only so many words which rhyme with 'Mihoshi'. Kiyone: From the day we were paired She was trouble She was the straw On the camel's back I tried in vain... Kagato: But she never even got close to sane Kiyone: She very nearly made me snap! From the day she was gone All she wanted Was eechi candy corn And an amped up mic S-S-S-Singing through the night Kagato: She was a blonde who was never that bright Kiyone: Stickin' the phones in the jack Chorus: When Mihoshi'd go see Kareoke You knew her mind was made of fuzz But when she stole the ship And stuck out her lip Washu: She's so bad! Achika: Makes you mad- Kiyone: And I was. Ayeka: Everybody balmed her We very nearly shamed her I said hey listen to me This is no place for a sweet little pea But she closed her eyes and ears To my kind plea Kiyone: But her blonde head must have been turned By the high life Making her spurn me In a note so rude: Chorus: Was she mean? Was she mean? Mihoshi:I don't give a damn Kagato: I found a real wo-man Mihoshi:I'll help her carry out her evil coup Chorus: When Mihoshi'd go see Kareoke You knew her mind was made of fuzz But when she stole the ship And stuck out her lip Washu: She's so bad! Achika: Makes you mad- Kiyone: And I was. Chorus: When Mihoshi'd go see Kareoke You knew her mind was made of fuzz But when she stole the ship And stuck out her lip Washu: She's so bad! Chorus: Whoa ho ho Achika: Makes you mad- Chorus: Hey hey hey Kiyone: And...I...was. Chorus: 'hoshiiiiiiiiii. CREATURE FEATURE Washu: Creature, feature, 'chika! I've told the truth Won't tell a lie You'd better dry up Ms. Jurai I've tasted all Your apple pie And it's not that sweet, Ms. Jurai I've shown you love And flown from up above Your as yuri as Nick Fury Wound up like a Sailor Scout on smack When you made it, Did you hear the whip crack? Stop that glide high Get down from the sky You'd better dry up Ms. Jurai The Washu-nator Will line and bait ya' It's like a fornicater- A million minds messed up by mine! You'd better dry up You'd better dry up Zip your fly up! You'd better dry up... Kagato: And then she flares up- Achika: Noooooo! Washu: Don't open that gaping portal I may look young but, I'm immortal Nobuyuki: Your a young one, but you'd better not try to hurt them, Washu-chan! Nobiyuki and Ryoko: Your a young one, but you'd better not try to hurt them, Washu-chan! Nobiyuki, Ryoko and Yosho: Your a young one, but you'd better not try to hurt them, Washu-chan! Nobiyuki and the Trio: Your a young one, but you'd better not try to hurt them, Washu-chan! All: Your a young one, but you'd better not try to hurt them, Washu-chan! (x3) Ayeka: Your a young one, but you'd better not try to hurt them, Washu-chan! (ad infinitum) ECCHI MY WORLD Ryoko: It was great when I came with Mum All we did was have a load of fun But she wanted another chum And started working on a teenage son Now the only thing in my heart that stirs Is that same little boy of hers Ecchis my world Keeps me safe from the crueller things Yeahhhh!!!! Tenchi: I'm up a creek as long as the Nile Completely confused and riled Tell Washu that though she has style I am not a peodophile! Now the only thing I've got to know Is all the contours of my Ryok-o Ecchis my world Keeps me safe from the crueller things Nobuyuki: It's a bad dream... Help me, I scream Everything is not As it seems Take this ecchi away What's this? Washu-chan? Ooo...I feel like a man... I thought she was a lesbi-an But here she comes a-gain, gain Achika: Oooohhh I feel a-light Nose bleeds are alright It really is a shocking site Hentai is here The show has changed cerificate It's higher now, and I feel great The time is now, don't be late Your base desires steer! DON'T FIGHT IT- WRITE IT Washu: What ever happened To Chibi Moon? Ryoko: That tiny, pink little freind Washu: As she came on the screen Ryoko: How I would cheer and scream Both: Cos' I knew how her story should end Washu: Until the fics over Don't worry about truth Treasure or break The innocence of youth Lakes of purity To taint with tiny drops And oily cess-pools Where the fun never stops Can't you all sight it? Chorus and Washu: Don't fight it, write it Don't fight it, write it Don't fight it, write it Don't fight it, write it Kiyone: Oh, we've got to get out this cage Before this...CITRUS! Defiles our minds I've got to brave And be no woman's slave Or else...my nerves will...rage... And my life Will be lived For the limes! All: Don't fight it, write it Nobuyuki: It's a bad dream... Help me, I scream Achika: God bless J. Padilla! A CHILD WITH AN UNNAMED PAIN Washu: My my my mah mah mah my my My my my my my I'm a child with an unamed pain A genius with a massive brain Mention age and my eyes will rain I've stayed like this to be sane B and A, do it all my way I'm gonna shake you till your all gay Ecchi my world Keep me safe from the crueller things All: Were a child with an unamed pain A genius with a massive brain Mention age and our eyes will rain We've stayed like this to be sane B and A, do it all our way We're gonna shake you till your all gay Ecchi my world Keep me safe from the crueller things Were a child with an unamed pain A genius with a massive brain Mention age and oue eyes will rain We've stayed like this to be sane B and A, do it all our way We're gonna shake you till your all gay, gay, gay Ecchi my world Keep me safe from the crueller things Yosho: Little Washu We've seen through you No more rebel Coup We'll halt your evil scheme Come to Funhoe The Jurain's know it's true Azusa's is waiting, so's the crew This is almost the last scene... I'M ON MY OWN Washu: When I made my decision through the pain All: Damn it all Washu: Was all I that I was saying All: Now I've had a fall Washu: Want to be grown up again All: Break down the wall Washu: Please beckon and keep me sane Cos' I been tricked by All the youth, the youth and the tries And besides- it hasn't helped I'm still on my own Everywhere I have been alone All: Try to fit in Washu: Since my loved ones left home All: Avoiding all the sin Washu: So I sought refuge in my womb Cos' I've seen Truth through the lies The truth, the truth In your eyes And I Can't disguise it I'm on my own I'm on my own SUPER SAIYANS Nobuyuki: I've done my best God knows I've tried To save myself Even though I've...I've been defiled But now I know That Washu will never All: Eat (me) Achika: Ooo and Super Saiyans Fly away To leave their fights to Another day And all I know Is they will never All: Beat (us) Kagato: And, somewhere in The hero's place Some little girl Not of their race Who was lost in Adventures In Time and Space Has freed them All: Freed (them) MARTIAL LEMON- ANIME EXPO (reprise) Ayeka: Martial Lemon (oo oo oo) Anime Expo The end is nigh (oo oo oo) and we have to go Washu has built and (oo oo oo) lost her creature Darkness had conquered (oo oo oo) Nobu and Achika Oh-oh-oh-oh-uh-uh-oh At the late night Lemon Ani-me Expo- I wanna go- Oh-oh-uh-uh-oh To The Late Night Lemon Anime Expo Well. I hope you enjoyed them. I write these thing so I can make people feel better, y'know. I like having feedback. It's NICE.... please gimme some. *big eyes* Pleasseee!!! Yrs. Jim 'Diabolo' Moore comageddon@ntlworld.com