DISCLAIMER: AIC and Pioneer own these characters, as if you didn't know. I mean, why would I contribute FAN fiction if I did own them...? These Diaclaimers really make no sense... ...diddy doo, doo doo doo.... ...boo...doo...noo.... ... ... ...where was I? Oh yeah- Eminem wrote the original song. Here is yet another parody of mine, if an often overlooked Eminem song called Marshall Mathers. It took a lot of work to make it even vaugly decent, and I still ended up taking the mickey out of AIC and Pioneer. I suppose it's just because they rhyme so well with other things. Sorry to all about the content- it's not my best, especially when I was reduced to swearing. Anyhow, here it is- about the cost of fame and downfall Tenchinem a.k.a. The Real Shin Tenchi's- TENCHI MASKAI You know I just don't get it Last seriese I was somebody Last year I was fightin' demons And every girl came around like I loved em or somethin' Now just look at me... On the dole queue Thanks, AIC You see I'm... Just Tenchi Masaki I'm a normal guy who's half Jurai All this mess about me... Didn't know about my past before I never even thought about me... Now every woman wants to go down south And try to hit on me... Yo, you might see me trainin' Or you might see me fightin' You might see me fightin' My old Grandfather With his hair chopped off by the shrine With a light hawk, screamin' 'what's my line?' at him Cos the dumb old fool won't give me a break, Or leanin' out of a space ship window with cocked...what is it? Jackin' up the rock in the bed where I touched Ryoko's tit Lookin' fot BIG baddies Dressin like pimp Daddies Green and brown striped faces, like I don't know how sad it is It's almost as sad as that punk Vegeta and Ryoko saying 'wazzup!' Shes's messed up, cause Kagato and Washu just locked her up Watchin' all these spin-off seieses mess up the story line And get dollars for just being a sex-god or a sick pup And amidst all this butt kickin' and bad luck I'm somehow supposed to know whose got an A and whose got a D cup But I have to walk around with an empey bottle of Saki Startin fights like some tall dark haired Yugi (Hey, Sakura!) I'm anti Pioneer and AIC Since the sacked me and unpacked me I can't get work even in NYC Those bastards can't write and Salior Scouts don't arouse me What's that, I be can on DBZ? Gimme back my job back, suckers All I see is more crap anime f**kers What even happened to innuendo about gay truckers? What ever happened to everyone being half-naked Hantias, Gettin pants and shirt ripped off by people claimin' they need to know the size? Cardcaptors has a good theme, but that's all it's got Cutey Honey and Dirty Pair, I just hope they all rot I can't wait till I find if Team Rocket are nobbing or not- Imma bet they do it lot (UH UH UH) Kagato ain't nice, and he don't like me He said he'd kick my ass twice nightly Then he was killed when I just hit him lightly (Ha ha) A bunch of girls all wanna just lay me Runnin' round screamin, 'you don't have to pay me!' I think I was put here to keep the world waitin' For month and years, just to see who I'll be matin' Plus I was put here to get spears And shotguns up the ends of AIC and Pioneer Who call themselves 'Companies' just cos' I was made here 'Put a disclaimer in, or we'll come sue your behind-POW!' Claimin' your gods, when the fans do the writin' now And I don't work but I'll knock all you execs. the hell out I'll show you what a good Anime is all about After you packed my bags and kicked me out Look down and switch your priorities back round Look at you, re-writing the story arc again When you ain't even finished the last nine or ten And I don't need a contract >From you two To write up A new OVA When Scieon is doin' his best With fan stuff And he don't need pay Shin Tenchi? Your damn right Shin Tenchi But I don't get beat like you cos the fans never lynch me Cos I'm Just Tenchi Masaki... I'm not some super-stud guy Come and see me if you think I'm lyin' If you girls wanna pout at me, And if you wanna go dowm south Then come and take a good look at me... Is it because you love me? That y'all wanna try and kill me Stop demolishing my house, Jurain bitch, get off me Go kill Mihoshi Now because of that girl with the blonde mop That's just blasted off With her lesbian lover in that big red ship she's got I'm for the chop The choice has narrowed and I've gotta choose 24\7 Not so much heaven as hell in a coffe bar 7 11 Oh you think it's good to have these two beautiful devils? Well now you try it-least one of em' will try n' kill you That god damn bitch girl tryin' to blast me away She wants to be chosen in every fic on the TMFFA Man, what you want? 50% of the crowd loves you All you gotta do is mail them and they'll fight to wright it for you Which of you is it- Ayeka or Ryoko? It doesn't matter...both of you! Thinkin' bout how to end all of this I've got so aggravated I just take the piss So tell me, just what the hell am I supposed to do? I read the fics myself for solution from all of you Writers fighting and bendin' Over who's gonna write the right OVA endin' I got some 1000 endings sent in (Hey, that's good) Even some that were better than the original ideas No thanks Pioneer, You just made me look queer The fans are actually getting rowdy and firey Tellin' the companies to sell or re-hire me But I won't set foot in there office now And to top ot all they never broadcast 'Shin Tenchi' On Toonami (although it should start up eventually) Skip to it now, get that seriese on fast- Or the Tenchi community will bust up your ass! Ok, lemme give you producers some help Episodes of Ryoko's love and fics of Clayton Overstreet's Then the 10' o' clock Assassin to give you some beats Aw, f**k it, I'll even write some myself... Cos' I'm Just Tenchi Masaki I'm just an Anime whose had his day All this mess about me... Nobody ever even watched me before All the did was shout at me... Now everybody's writing fics And tryin' to help out with me... Because I'm... Just Tenchi Maskai I'm just a regular guy whose half Jurai All this fuss about us... Nobody even tried to type before We were all just luckless... Now everybody want's to take a guess At how it ends, so just write your best... Well, there we go. My thanks goes out to all mentioned in this song, as well as the millions of other authors whose fics I have read and have complimented, or who I simply haven't got round to e-mailing yet. All C&C to comageddon@ntlworld.com Jim 'Diabolo' Moore, 2001