Disclaimer:i do not own any of the tenchi muyo characters....umm....thats it.. Deep in the dephs of the multiverse the goddess ishtar looks over the puny planet of nirroakki.She notices a girl with long ,dark red-fuschia hair sitting by the ruins with her friends.A thought rushes through ishtars head."I should punish tenma for running from me.She wont do it again i swear it!Dont worry my little clone you and your friends will be punished!" Tenma-chan and two other ppl are sitting near the ruins chatting when suddenly they disappear... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tenma:where the hell am I ?! Limia:um...i dunno..... Teiou:its too dark!!! Ishtar:Ah i see you have arrived safely.... Tenma:i...ishtar.... Ishtar: Never address me by my name i am your mother! Teiou:oh its HER..... Ishtar:i think i will ignore that....anyway i have brought you here as punishment for not staying with me and going to teiou's filthy planet instead.... Tenma:what?!Why would i want to float in a dark void with you for the rest of my life?! Ishtar:I want you and your friends to MST this story for me.I also brought some other people who happen to be on my shit list.... Limia:heeeeyyy....thats not faaair...... Ishtar:Go in this door now if you want to get it over with.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Three figures enter the dark and gloomy theater.They move towards the middle row of seats where two other people are sitting and sit next to them. Teiou:are...are you tenchi...masaki?! Tenchi:yup,me and ryoko got in a fight with ishtar and won so...here we are.. Ryoko:stupid bitch she deserved it... Tenma:well...lets just get it over with i guess... 3..2..1... What The Hell is This By:Ray Moore Ryoko:Im guessing it's a really shitty fic... Tenchi came down stairs after a long nights sleep when he is faced with a difficult choice. How to kill and kill and kill. You see during the night Tenchi contracted a mild case of rabies from Ryo-oki and it has driven him insane. All he can think about is ripping the flesh from everyones bones. As he gets his first idea a smile creeps across his face and he starts to giggle. What fun is about to happen. Tenma:Hey teiou can you pass me that barf bag over there?It's starting already... Teiou:NO! I need it! Tenchi:some how i cant imagine myself like this.... "Kyone,when are you going to tell everyone about our love?" "Tell people? Are you mad Washu? If word got out that I, A police officer were involved with the most insane scintest in the universe scandal would rock the entire empire." Washu leaned over and placed her hand on Kyone's leg and whispered "Honey come back to bed and i'll show you what to do with your badge." Tenma: =!_!= Tenchi:I knew it!You could tell by the way they looked at each other but no one believed me..... Ryoko:...mom..... Limia:washu is "the most insane scintest"!? Teiou:heeeey...im starting to like this actually.... Tenma: *glares at teiou* Kyone sighed and climbed under the covers and went to work. Tenchi had watched this entire exchange from the doorway and had a flash of insight. "I knew that those plastic exploseves I got from Minne May would come in handy." Tenchi giggled. Ryoko:what a waste of explosives.... Tenma:hehehe....tenchi giggles..... Tenchi: =\_/= "I'll be right back," said Washu as she went into the bathroom. She looked over and grabbed the soap. Or so she thought. When she climbed back into bed she said "Honey I got the soap for a even better time." "All right co-" was all Kyone had time to say before Tenchi pressed the button on his remote detnotar. Washu and Kyone were nothing more than spots on the floor of Washu's Lab. Ryoko:how could the greatest scientist in the universe confuse plastic explosives for soap.... Tenma:the author is probably just reflecting on something that really happened to him..... Tenchi giggled some more and felt a wave of light headness come over him. Then he went to find that little bitch Sasami who wanted to get into his pants. "Little whore," thought Tenchi as he left. Tenchi:WHAT WHAT WHAT !? Tenma:sasami is NOT a little bitch who wants to get in tenchi's pants.... Ryoko:little bitch.... Teiou:hehehehehe When he got outside Sasami's door he heard some Metallica blaring as loud as the cd player would allow. That made Tenchi's headace even worse. "Damn little bitch!!" screamed Tenchi but the music was too loud for her to hear. He knocked on the door. Nothing the music was too loud. So he went on in. The sight he saw was shocking..... Tenchi:sasami was not there thus ending the threat of a cruel and horrible death for her... Teiou:...sasami was already in my pants.... Tenma:*starts to charge a fireball to shoot at teiou* Limia:um.....she....was asleep....yeah.... Sasami was naked on her bed holding a picture between her legs and moaning softly. Tenchi looked at the picture and saw that it was a picture of him! "That fucking slut!" Tenchi thought.But now he knew just how to kill the little bitch. He left without her even knowing he was there and went down stairs. Tenma:so let me get this straight...sasami listens to metallica and masturbates...... Tenchi:i will not run away,i will not run away,i will not..... Limia: huh? Teiou: =*_*= He went to the new grand piano that they had gotten for Ayeka and looked inside. He found a loose wire and ripped it free. Now all he had to do was lure the little corner-walker into his trap. Sasami had turned of her music and was just laying there on the bed thinking about Tenchi trying to find a way to get into his pants. Then she heard a knock on her door and threw on her robe then opened the door. There was no one there. She was about to close the door when she saw a note laying on the floor. It said, " Sasami I have decided that you are the one I want. Meet me in Washu's Lab in 15 min. Dont worry about Washu I have taken care of her." Ryoko:this is not gonna be pretty...... Tenma:DAMMIT TEIOU GIVE ME THE BARF BAG!!!!!!!! Sasami's heart fluttered and she ran down to Washu's Lab and went inside. "Tenchi," she called in that oh so sexy voice and walked toward a table in the middle of the room. "This should serve my purpose with that sexy man," she said. But she looked down and saw that she was standing in the puddle of goo that Washu and Kyone had turned into. At first she thought it was just some cabbit shit but then she saw the red and black hairs and it dawned on her what had happened. Just then... Tenma:the earth exploded thus ending this fic.... Tenchi:that was dark.... Ryoko:I wish it were that easy..... Tenma:I wonder what goes through the author's mind as he writes this.... Ryoko:I dont think we want to know... she heard a portal open and felt something tighten around her throat. Tenchi was strangeling her with some type of wire!!! She fought to get free but he was stronger then her(rabies it'll do that to you) so it was to no avall. The last thing she rembered was Tenchi's constant giggling and then she died. When she stoped breathing Tenchi picked her up and placed her on the table. He drove nails through her hands and feet and left her nailed to the table standing against the wall. Tenma:to my knowledge rabies doesnt make you stronger.... Teiou:hey lets go to the top row and ****** All: ........................................ Tenma:*begins oni transformation* Teiou:yay i can die now so i wont have to live through this fic.... Tenma:*stops transforming* no we are all gonna pull through this toghether..... Now Tenchi thought that killing Yosho would be a lot more fun. Tenchi muttered a giggle and went to the shrine to settle some things. Yosho was metidating on some wise sayings but he was running out of ideas. "Don't shit where you eat," came to mind but he quickly rejected it. Tenchi:...grandpa....... Heard a thump behind him and it was Sasami's severed head staring at him. He jumped up wooden sword in hand. It was Tenchi with his hands behind his back. "Tenchi what have you done," he screamed at him. Tenma:um.....i think he severed sasami's head...... Tenchi didn't say a thing but just giggled and blood started to run out of his nose. Yosho reconized it as rabies. Yosho knew what he had to do. He rushed Tenchi with a speed that was blinding. Tenchi did nothing but pull what he had behind his back out into view. It was a Colt 45 with a seclincer on it!! Tenchi pulled the trigger 8 times. Yosho's body was thrown back into the wall and he bled to death. Ryoko:where the fuck does he get all this stuff.... Tenma:dont ask we probably dont want to know..... Tenchi:Whats a seclincer.... Teiou:he probably meant silencer but he is to illiterate to spell a simple word like that.... When he died Tenchi spit in his face. Tenchi took the body and threw it into the lake giggling the whole time. It was time to take care of Ryoko that fucking whore. Tenchi giggled and his headache got worse. Ryoko was watching her favroite soap opera when Tenchi found her. He was careful not to let her see him sneaking into the kitchen to get his "toy". He reached into the drawer and grabbed an ivory handle butcher knife. Ryoko: !!! I AM NOT A WHORE DAMMIT!!! *slaps tenchi* Tenchi:what the hell?! Im not the one about to kill you with a butcher knife...... Ryoko: A WHAT!?!? It could cut through bone with one full swing and not have any trouble. He climbed inside a cabnet and called Ryoko's name. Ryoko heard him and said "Coming my cuddle muffin." She came into the kitchen and was puzzled. She could of swore that Tenchi had called her name from in here. She turned to leave when a can of carrots fell in front of her. She looked up...... Ryoko:and vanished..... The last thing she saw was the light glinting off the blade of the knife. The knife went into the top of her skull and cleaved it in two. Leaving the blade buried in her neck Tenchi dragged her into Washu's Lab. He left her in a very naughty poisiton on top of Sasami. Tenchi was now coughing up blood as he came up with his plan to kill that air headed slut Mishoshi. He giggled and left. Tenchi: *tears rushing down his face* how...could...i.... Tenma:*Starts screaming something in an untranslateable language* Ryoko:*face buried in her hands,sobbing* Limia: huh what happened? Teiou: ok this is not a turn on in any way anymore...... Mishosi was watching tv in her room when she felt the cloth being pressed against her mouth. Breathing in the colorform she passed out. She woke up tied spread eagled on her bed with the corpses of Sasami and Ryoko on top of her. Tenma: plastic explosives.....Colt 45.....colorform.....grand piano string....WTF is wrong with this author??!!Where is he gonna get all this stuff in a rural okayama shrine!? Ryoko:*still crying* She tried to scream but her mouth was duct taped shut with some sort of hose in there. Tenchi was standing there and said " Now we are going to see if you are really an airhead." He reached over and turned on the air compresser and air started to fill up her mouth. She started to cry and her eyes started to buldge out from the air pressure. Finally her head couldn't take any more and it exploded. All (except ryoko who is still crying): PUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Tenchi was covered in brains which he ate because they were tastey. Now to get that ass hole Ryo-Oki. Tenchi giggled and went back to Sasami's room. Ryo-Oki was asleep when Tenchi found her. He picked her up and slammed her up against the dart board. He took a couple of darts that were lying on the table and jammed them into her ears pinning her to the board. Ryo-Oki was now crying like only she can and Tenchi ripped out het vocial cords. Ryoko:sob...i think im...sob...ok now....*looks at screen and starts crying again* Tenchi:what did she do to deserve this..... Teiou:mmmmmm.....brains..... He then got the rest of the darts and played a little game. He hit her three times in the heart and thankfully she died. Tenchi's dark mission was almost done all he had to do is kill Ayeka and he would have his revenge. He giggled of course and threw up. Then he left.... Tenma: THANKFULLY?????!!!!!!!!! Ryoko:i dont even think that ayeka deserves to be killed by him..... Ayeka was in the hot springs when he found her. She was thinking of a way to(you guessed it) to get into Tenchi's pants. All Tenchi had to do was replace the saki she was drinking with sfurlic acid and the job was done. When she took a drink her throat was eaten out and she bled to death.Tenchi giggled and dragged her body to the others and set them on fire.Tenchi was having fun until his heart exploded because of the rabies. He died with a smile on his face and someones arm in his hand. All: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Moral is ....I can't think of one so leave me alone! The End Story by: Ray Moore Tenma: YOU CANT THINK OF ONE BECAUSE YOUR SO FUCKING STUPID THAT YOU WASTED YOUR TIME MAKING THIS GODDAMN PEICE OF SHIT EXCUSE OF A FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Teiou:relax tenma.... limia: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ Tenchi:GODDAMN BASTARD!!!!!!!RYOKO IS PROBABLY MENTALLY SCARRED FROM THAT!!!!! Tenma:tenchi,i think we all are........ And so the five victims of ray moore and ishtar return home to try to live a normal life......