I do not own Tenchi Muyo!, but that should be obvious to anyone who reads this fic. I do 
not intend to make any money off of it, nor do I intend to poke fun at your creation. I am, 
however, poking fun at the matter involved, which is not copyrighted by anyone.


	Tenchi stared Kagato down with angry eyes. This had been the man who had...
	Kagato did the same. This had been the boy who had...
	They both held their weapons at the ready.
	Kagato knew what was coming.
	So did Tenchi.
	It happened in a flash. Kagato threw down his stick, tore off his helmet, and took off 
his pads. Tenchi tore out his mouthguard, threw his stick at Kagato, and took off his hockey 
gear. The dent in the plexiglass remained where Kagato had rammed Tenchi hard into the 
wall after Tenchi had scored a goal and had given Kagato the finger.
	Tenchi threw the first punch.
	The hockey fans screamed with excitement as the hockey fight begun. 
	Kagato was soon defeated, and lay on the ice, unconscious and bloody, with a black 
eye and two teeth knocked out. The two teams cursed and swore at each other, as the referee 
took Tenchi out of the game and a few people took Kagato to the local hospital.
	Tenchi smiled as he walked out to greet his fans, who somehow still thought he was 
the greatest hockey player ever. Well, at least six of them did. 
	“Tenchi, can I have your autograph?” asked one of the group of young women 
there to greet him. 

For those of you dim enough to still be wondering, the matter I was talking about in my 
disclaimer was hockey fights, and I was thinking about what would happen if more villains 
fought the heroes in a hockey game, discussing it with my friend.
Send any comments to the_evergreen_cortex@yahoo.com
Hope you enjoyed it. 

Oh, wait, there’s one more idea I want to go over...

Tenchi charged at Kagato furiously. He sliced through his foe with the greatest of ease. Or 
did he?
SQUEAK!
Tenchi recoiled in horror as his weapon did nothing but bend and make a squeaky noise as 
it hit Kagato in the chest. Kagato stood to face Tenchi. “Ha ha ha. Now I’m going to get 
you back, boy.” He sliced at Tenchi’s head, aiming to cut the boy in half.
SQUEAK!
“What?!” he exclaimed. “You damn fanfic writer! You replaced our swords with squeaky 
boppers!” he said, furiously bopping Tenchi in the head futilely.
Tenchi did the same.

And another...

“Aha! I’ve got it!” exclaimed Washu. “My best invention ever!” She cackled evilly as she 
poured the vial onto the strange solution.
The vial read, “Vinegar.”
The solution bubbled and hissed. It read, “Baking soda”.
“Using this simple calcite solution and acetic acid, I can duplicate geologic processes! Who 
would have thought! Hahaha!”
“Uh, Little Washu, pardon me, but I think you’re a little late.” said Aeka.
“What?”
“A baking soda and vinegar volcano? It’s already been done.” 
“You’re kidding me, right?”

Oh, this one would work out...

Tenchi stared the flying creature hard in the face. It menacingly flew around, threatening to 
hurt his family. Its violent and villainous intrusion upon their property would not be 
tolerated. He raised his weapon high into the air to deliver the killing blow.
THWACK!
“Wow, Tenchi, you’re good with a flyswatter. Thanks for getting that bee for me.” said 
Sasami.

And how about this one?

The six girls hovered on Tenchi’s every little gesture. This was the crucial moment, the vital 
turning point. Tenchi was about to make his choice...  they could all see his brow was 
furrowed deep in thought. To them, everything hung on what he was about to say. Be it 
good, or be it bad, each individual wanted him to make it quickly. He opened his mouth to 
speak, and they leaned in closer.
“Hit me.” he said.
Ryoko passed the card to him. He turned it over. “Aw, dammit!” he exclaimed.
“Twenty three! You lose!” she said. 

Yeah, that was funny. Or maybe...

Kagato laughed cold, sick laughter. He did not stop laughing, as this was to him so 
incredibly funny. His sadistic laughter permeated the environment. “I don’t think it’s 
funny at all!” exclaimed Tenchi. He continued laughing, and would not stop. 
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” he said. He had that smirky little expression on his face. “Stop 
it!” said Ryoko. “It’s not funny!” 
Kagato fell out of his chair, laughing hysterically and spilling his coffee on the table. The 
newspaper fluttered to the floor, displaying the four-frame comic of Garfield he was so 
entertained by.

Well, that’s about all, folks. Hey, wait, that last one gives me an idea for another fic.

Oh, wait, one more...

Aeka was enraged. Ryoko’s comments had been outrageous, but this one was just over the 
top! She had to do something! Using her great Jurai power, she quickly charged up her 
devastating weapon and sent it hurtling through the air.
It flew and hit Ryoko in the head. She recoiled in pain and turned back to her, furious.
“What was that?!” she asked.
She leaned down and picked up the rubber band Aeka had snapped toward her.

There, I’m done.