Ohayo again!  This time I present to you my second fanfic.  It is 
written in the format of a play.  Or, more accurately, a script.  
Hopefully, there are no spelling errors or other bad things like that.  
And as always, I must present the...

Ritual Disclaimer for the Ignorant: I don't own any of the characters 
portrayed in this fanfic, except the ones which I made up.  I'm not 
making any money off of this.  Don't sue me.  Thank you.

---------------------------------------------------------

The Tenchi Muyo Interview!
by Kevin "Crusader" Hughes

(Alex walks onto the stage)
Alex:  Thank you so much for coming to my show.  Today, I have a 
really special treat!  Coming all the way from Japan, we have the 
cast of Tenchi Muyo!
(The crowd applauds)
Alex:  Now, let's bring out our first guest: Tenchi Masaki!

(Tenchi walks into the studio and the crowd goes wild.  Several girls 
in the audience see Tenchi and charge him in a frenzy of love, 
however, the bodyguards hold them back)
Alex:  Great to have you on the show Tenchi.
Tenchi:  I'm glad to be here.  Are you sure that Ryoko and Ayeka are in 
seperate rooms?
Alex:  Yes, we made sure that they were.  Now, Tenchi, can you tell 
us why all of the girls that landed at your house are in love with 
you?
Tenchi:  Well, actually, I really can't explain it.

(Suddenly, the lights in the studio go out)
Alex:  What the hell?
(A spotlight shines on center stage and Washu rises out of the floor 
on a pedestal)
Washu:  I am Washu, the greatest scientific genius in the universe!
(Washu's two dolls appear on her shoulders)
Washu A:  You are Washu!  You are the greatest!
Washu B:  You are Washu!  You are a genius!
Washu A&B:  Washu, Washu, you're the one!  Hooray for Washu!  
Hooray!
(The house lights then come back on)

Alex:  Well I guess out next guest is here:  Professor Washu!
(The crowd gives a half-hearted clap for Washu)
Washu:  Hey!  You can do better than that for the greatest scientific 
genius in the universe!
(Washu activates her etheral keyboard and the audience, seeing this 
bursts into applause)
Washu:  That's better!
Alex:  Well, Professor Washu, why don't you sit down?
(Washu hops into a chair)

Washu:  Thanks Alex.  Now the reason that I have come out here early 
is because I can explain exactly why every singe girl that meets 
Tenchi falls in love with him.  I have detected a specific gene in his 
body that I have not found anywhere else.  Whenever a girl comes 
within five feet of Tenchi, as long as they are of a compatable age, 
they will contract the disease that I call TS, or Tenchi Syndrome.  It 
causes a chemical imbalance in the reasoning centers of the brain.  
This, in turn changes the perception of the genome that triggers the 
response to Visual Psychological Tactics.
Alex:  What are Visual Psychological Tactics anyway?
Washu:  Your sex appeal of course!
Alex:  Oh.
(There is about a thirty second pause as everyone tries to figure out 
exactly what Washu was saying)

Alex:  Let's hear it for Professor Washu!
::The audience applauds::
Washu:  Any way, in conclusion, I have found that only one female 
that has been exposed to Tenchi for a reasonable amount of time is 
immune, excluding myself, of course.
Alex:  And who is this person?
Washu:  Why, Kiyone of course.

Alex:  Speaking of Kiyone, let's bring her out!
(Kiyone walks out onto the stage in her Galaxy Police uniform)
Alex:  Well, Kiyone, I must say that it is a pleasure to finally meet 
you.  I've heard that you are the best in the Galaxy Police
Kiyone:  Well, thank you.  After I got my promotion, my career just 
took off.  However...
Alex:  However?
Kiyone:  Well, being a detective sergeant has it's perks, but I really 
missed my station on Earth.
Alex:  So you gave up your promotion and transfer to return to the 
Earth?
Kiyone:  Yes.
Alex:  And why did you decide to do this?
Kiyone:  I really don't know.  I just missed everyone.  Luckily, they 
all came back, too.

Washu:  Hmm, I may have to re-evaluate my conclusion on TS.  It 
seems that Kiyone has succumbed to it as well.
Kiyone:  What are you talking about Washu?
Washu:  I guess I could explain it again...
(The crowd groans)
Alex:  Well, we could have you explain again, but we have to go to a 
commercial.  We'll be right back with Mihoshi, Sasami, and Ryo-ohki!
(The lights dim and the commercials start running)

Announcer:  Do you like action?
(The screen cuts to an explosion)
Announcer:  Do you like Tenchi Muyo?
(The screen cuts to a shot of the Tenchi Crew)
Announcer:  Do you like the Sailor Scouts?
(The screen cuts to a shot of the Sailor Scouts)
Announcer:  If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then see 
the ULTIMATE BATTLE!  Sailor Moon vs. Tenchi Muyo!  You will be on 
the edge of your seat.  See the awesome power of both sides finally 
clash!  Come for the laughs, come for the thrills, and come for the 
spills!
(The screen cuts to a logo of the title)
Announcer:  Tenchi Muyo vs. Sailor Moon!  Written and directed by 
Kevin Hughes!  Now playing on a web site near you!  Don't miss it!

(The lights turn back on and the commercials are over)
Alex:  Welcome back!  I'm here today with the cast of Tenchi Muyo!  
We've already heard from Tenchi, Washu, and Kiyone.  So without 
further ado, let's bring out our next guest!  Miss Mihoshi Kuramitsu!
(Mihoshi walks out from offstage and starts moving towards her 
chair.  However, she trips on the step and lands on her face)
Alex:  Are you all right?
Mihoshi:  Ouch.
(Tenchi, Washu, and Kiyone all form sweatbeads.  Mihoshi then 
stands up and staggers over to her seat)

Alex:  Mihoshi, do you enjoy being in the Galaxy Police?
Mihoshi:  Of course I do!  I just love having Kiyone as a partner!
Alex:  So what is it you do, exactly?
Mihoshi:  Well, Kiyone and I have three part time jobs besides 
working as resident officers in the Galaxy Police.  The reason we 
offered to do this job is so we could pay the rent on our apartment.
(Kiyone grabs Mihoshi's mouth)
Kiyone:  How many times have I told you to keep your mouth shut?
(The audience is staring at Kiyone)
Kiyone:  Uh, heh heh heh.
(Kiyone slinks back into her seat)
Mihoshi:  Sorry, Kiyone.

Alex:  Well, let's bring out our next guest!  Princess Sasami Jurai!
(Sasami walks towards her seat from offstage.  She gives the 
audience the peace sign and sits down in her seat)
Sasami:  Hi!
Alex:  Hello, and welcome to my show.
Sasami:  Thank you very much!
Alex:  Aww, gee Sasami, you're so cute.
(Sasami giggles)
Alex:  Anyway, back to the interview.  How do you like living with 
Tenchi and the other girls?
Sasami:  I love living with Tenchi.  He takes real good care of me.  
Mihoshi and Kiyone don't live with us, but I see them a lot anyway.  
Ryo-ohki is the best little spaceship I know.  And then there is my 
sister and Ryoko.  I love both of them, but I really don't like that 
they fight all the time.
(Alex turns to Tenchi)
Alex:  So that's why you wanted to make sure they were in seperate 
rooms.
Tenchi:  Yes, that's why.  But I don't think that will stop them from 
fighting.
Alex:  Oh well, we can hope for the best then, can't we?
Tenchi:  It may not be enough...

Alex:  Well, it's time to bring out our next guest!  She's half rabbit, 
half cat, and half spaceship!  Let's hear it for Ryo-ohki!
(The crowd applauds, but Ryo-ohki doesn't appear)
Alex:  Uh, Ryo-ohki?
(Ryo-ohki peeks her head out from backstage and ducks back)
Alex:  Ryo-ohki, are you getting stage fright?
Ryo-ohki:  Meow!
Sasami:  Aww, come on Ryo-ohki, you're a big cabbit.  You shouldn't 
get stage fright.
(Ryo-ohki looks back on from offstage and sees Sasami)
Sasami:  That's it!
(Ryo-ohki hops over to Sasami and lands in her lap)
Sasami:  That's a good girl.

Alex:  Okay, Ryo-ohki, how do you like living with Tenchi?
Ryo-ohki:  Meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow 
meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow.  Meow meow meow 
meow meow, meow meow!
Alex:  I see.
Ryo-ohki:  Meow, meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow 
meow meow.  Meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow 
meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow.
Alex:  Facinating.
Ryo-ohki:  Meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow, meow 
meow meow meow meow meow.  Meow meow meow, meow meow 
meow meow.
Alex:  Is that so?
Washu:  Do you understand a word she's saying?
Alex:  Well... no.
(A puff of air shoots out of Washu's mouth)
Washu:  Just as I thought.
Alex:  We'll be right back with Ryoko and Ayeka, after this 
commercial message.
(The lights dim and the commercials start running)

Announcer:  The Tenchi Muyo OAV characters.  Possibly some of the 
most powerful characters in anime.  You've seen fighting games 
made into anime shows.  Now see what you've all been waiting for: 
the Tenchi Muyo Fighting Game!
(The screen cuts to a screen shot)
Announcer:  Finally, the awesome powers of the characters from 
Tenchi Muyo are at your fingertips!  Play as Ryoko, Tenchi, Ayeka, 
Washu, Pretty Sammy, Pixy Misa, Katsuhito, Nagi, Kiyone, Mihoshi, 
and even the elusive Operative A.
(The screen cuts to a collage of all of the characters)
Announcer:  Use devestating super moves!
(The screen cuts to a shot of Ryoko firing a huge beam of energy 
across at Ayeka)
Announcer:  Battle to the final boss and take your place as Champion 
of Tenchi Muyo Fighting!
(The screen cuts to a logo of the game)
Announcer:  This game may hit shelves near you, or it may never 
exist.  It is less than 1% finished right now, so here's hoping!

(The lights turn back on and the commercials are over)
Alex:  Welcome back!  I'm here today with the cast of Tenchi Muyo!  
We've already spoken with Tenchi, Washu, Kiyone, Mihoshi, Sasami, 
and Ryo-ohki.  Let's bring in our next guest:  Princess Ayeka Jurai!
(Ayeka walks on from off stage in full Jurain formal wear)
Alex:  Well, Princess Ayeka, you do us a great honor by gracing us 
with your presence.
(Washu, Mihoshi, Kiyone, Sasami, Tenchi, and Ryo-ohki all let puffs 
of air fly.  Ayeka glares at them and they all go back to staring at 
the crowd)

Ayeka:  Well, Alex, the schedule of a Princess does not allow much 
time for things like interviews, but since everyone else came, I 
decided that I would attend as well.
Alex:  Oh, really?
(Alex turns to Sasami)
Alex:  Sasami seemed to be eager to come.  In fact, she said that she 
was always free, just like you.
(Sasami and Ayeka both form sweatbeads)
Ayeka:  Uhm, well, it is true that my schedule has opened up quite a 
bit since it was discovered that Tenchi was a direct decendant of 
the Jurain Royal Family.
Alex:  Ah, yes, tell me, Princess Ayeka, how exactly are you related 
to Tenchi?
(Ayeka stops and thinks for a minute, but Mihoshi jumps up and 
starts to talk)
Mihoshi:  I know!  Since Tenchi's grandfather is Grandpa, and since 
Ayeka is Grandpa's half-brother, that means that Ayeka is Tenchi's 
great-half-aunt!
(The crowd is stunned)
Washu:  Actually, Mihoshi is right...
(Mihoshi looks stunned)
Mihoshi:  I was right?  Wow Miss Washu!  You've never said that I was 
right before, except for that time when I said that Tenchi got 
married in the future when Mayuka showed up and...
(Mihoshi's babblings are cut short when Kiyone puts her hand over 
her mouth)
Kiyone:  Heh heh.  Please don't mind us.

Alex:  Well then, it is about time to bring out our final guest!  Ryoko, 
come on out!
(Nothing happens, except a sweatbead forms on Alex)
Alex:  Uhm, Ryoko?
(There is a puff of displaced air as Ryoko teleports into the room 
clutching Tenchi)
Ryoko:  Oh Tenchi, it's been so long since we've seen each other!
Tenchi:  What?  It's only been twenty minutes since I last saw you!
Ryoko:  I know, and it seemed like an eternity!
(Tenchi sighs)

Alex:  Uhm, Ryoko, can't we get on with the interview?
(Ryoko looks at Alex and realizes that they are on the air.  She 
teleports over to Alex and gives a big smile to the camera)
Ryoko:  Ask away.
Alex:  Well, uhm, yes.  How did you and Tenchi meet, exactly?
Ryoko:  Well, back when Tenchi was just a baby, I watched him from 
my cave all the time, but our first encounter was when he took the 
Master Key out of my cave and released me.  That just proves how 
much he loves me!
Alex:  Tenchi?  Is this true?
(Everyone in the entire room glares at Tenchi expecting a response)
Tenchi:  Well, uhm... that is, uh...  HEY LOOK!  WHAT'S THAT OVER 
THERE?!?!
(He points at the back of the room and everyone looks, except for 
Ryoko who has fallen for this trick before)
Ryoko:  Now, now Tenchi, why don't you just tell them that you love 
me and not this silly Princess?
(Ayeka turns around and glares at Ryoko)
Ayeka:  What are you talking about?  Tenchi loves me!
(Suddenly a force field appears around Ryoko and Ayeka sealing them 
off from each other.  Washu is standing there grinning with her 
etheral keyboard in hand)
Alex:  Thank you Miss Washu.
Washu:  Alex, can you do me a favor?
Alex:  Anything.
Washu:  Would you please, call me Little Washu!
(Alex falls down)

Alex:  Well, now that we have the whole cast assembled, why don't 
we get some questions from the audience?
(A few people raise their hands.  Alex walks over to one of them)
Alex:  Yes, who are you and what is your question?
Marcus:  Yeah, my name is Marcus and I have a question for the lovely 
Ryoko.
Ryoko:  That's me!  What's your question?
Marcus:  I was wondering, have you and Tenchi slept together yet?
(The whole crowd gasps and they stare impatiently at Ryoko and 
Tenchi.  Ryoko grins and Tenchi forms a HUGE sweatbead)
Ryoko:  Why, of course, it is only natural for lovers to sleep together!
(Tenchi's eyes erupt to the size of dinner saucers)
Ayeka:  WHAT?  Lord Tenchi, is this true?
Tenchi:  Of course not!
Ryoko:  Oh Tenchi, you don't need to hide it now that I've told 
everyone live on international TV.
Tenchi:  But it's not true!
(Ayeka appears to be quite angry, but since she is in the force field, 
can't do anything)

Sasami:  What is everyone talking about?
Kiyone:  Oh, uhm, well, you know, the thing adults do...
Sasami:  No, I don't, what are you talking about?
Mihoshi:  Yeah Kiyone, what are you talking about?
Kiyone:  Uhm, never mind, you don't need to know.
Mihoshi:  Hey, that's not fair Kiyone, I'm just as old as you are, so 
you should tell me!
(Kiyone sighs and whispers something to Mihoshi)
Mihoshi:  Oh.
(A silence falls upon the room)
Kiyone:  You understand?
Mihoshi:  Yes.
Kiyone:  You do?
Mihoshi:  Why wouldn't I?
Kiyone:  You want a list of reasons?

(Back on the other side of the room, Tenchi is being bombarded with 
questions)
Tenchi:  Ryoko!  Tell the truth!
(Ryoko, seeing that Tenchi is suffering realizes that she should say 
something)
Ryoko:  Okay...
(The crowd turns to Ryoko)
Ryoko:  I'm sorry Tenchi.  No, I have never slept with Tenchi.
(Ayeka heaves a huge sigh of relief)
Tenchi:  Thank you Ryoko.
Crowd:  Awwwwwww...
(Tenchi forms another sweatbead)

Marcus:  Uh, I have another question.
(The whole crowd glares at him with an evil gaze)
Marcus:  Uhm, nevermind...

Alex:  Well, any more questions?  Preferably none that will cause 
such a large commotion like the last one.
(Alex walks over to another person that has his hand up)
Blake:  Yeah, I have a question for little Washu.
(Washu smiles)
Washu:  What is your question?
Blake:  Wouldn't you like to blow up the galaxy just once without 
Mihoshi screwing things up?
Washu:  What are you talking about?  I have destroyed an entire 
galaxy!
(The crowd gasps at this comment)
Alex:  Little Washu, is this true?
Washu:  Of course!  Remember KAIN?  We had to use the Dimensional 
Cannon to destroy him.  That also resulted in the destruction of an 
entire galaxy.  The one he was in at the time.  Mihoshi wasn't 
anywhere near me at the time.

Alex:  But, wasn't it Kiyone that pulled the trigger on the 
Dimensional Cannon?
(Everyone looks at Kiyone)
Alex:  Isn't that true?  A Galaxy Police officer using a weapon of 
mass destruction?  Aren't those illegal?
Kiyone:  Well, uhm, yes, but the circumstances were very...
Mihoshi:  If Kiyone comitted a crime then it is my duty as a Galaxy 
Police officer to bring her to justice!
Kiyone:  What?
Mihoshi:  I hereby place you under arrest Detective Kiyone!
Kiyone:  Wait a second Mihoshi!  You can't arrest me!  I'm your 
partner!
Mihoshi:  It doesn't matter, even though I hate to do it, I must bring 
all criminals to justice.
Kiyone:  Mihoshi, listen, if we hadn't used the Dimensional Cannon to 
defeat KAIN, we would have all been killed by him as well as the 
temporal paradox that would have been created when Washu's shield 
ran out.  The use of the device also saved the lives of the Jurain 
royal family, Achika, Tenchi, not to mention all of the inhabitants of 
the Earth.  It was pure self defence.
Mihoshi:  Oh.  In that case, you are free to go.
Kiyone:  Thanks...

Alex:  Uhm, okay.  On to our next question!  Yes, you!

Erin:  I'd like to ask Ryo-ohki a question.
(Ryo-ohki looks at her)
Erin:  What it would be like if you liked cranberries instead of 
carrots?
(Ryo-ohki's eyes widen a bit and then she appears to be deep in 
thought.  Suddenly, her eyes light up and she pops into her humanoid 
form)
Ryo-ohki:  Meow, meow meow meow meow meow.  Meow meow meow 
meow meow, meow meow, meow meow; meow meow meow.  Meow 
meow meow meow!
Erin:  Oh.  That makes sense.  I guess...  I would also like to know 
what each of your names mean.

Tenchi:  Well, my name means "Heaven and Earth."
Ryoko:  I'm the "Spirit Caller."
(Sasami giggles)
Sasami:  My name means "Beach Beauty."
Washu:  "Eagle Feathers."
Ryo-ohki:  "Meow meow meow."
Ryoko:  She says "Devil Spirit Emperor."
Ayeka:  I do not really know what my name means.
Sasami:  Sure you do sis, your name means...
(Her voice is cut off by Ayeka's hand over her mouth)
Ryoko:  That's right, I remember.  The little princess's name means 
"Empty Flattery."
Kiyone:  Well, my name means "Pure Voice."
Mihoshi:  Mine means "Beautiful Star!"
Alex:  Well, those are all certainly nice names.

(A person sitting in the back picks up a microphone that is sitting on 
a stand)
Steve:  Uh, Tenchi, I just wanted to know what's the deal with the 
ponytail?  I mean isn't that kinda 80's?  The only people who really 
have ponytails now are dated musicians and stereotypical slimy 
business agents!  Also, I'd like to know, Washu, are you busy this 
Friday?
Washu:  Yes, I am.
Tenchi:  Uhm, well, the ponytail isn't really out in Japan.  You have to 
remember that the fasion crazes from America don't reach Japan for 
a few years later.  For example, the baggy clothes fad just became 
popular about two years ago.  Also, my grandfather has one, and I 
have to follow in his footsteps as a priest of Masaki Shrine.  I was 
actually thinking of letting it grow out even longer once I am given 
charge of the shrine.

(A girl steps up to the mike in the back)
Maiko:  Tenchi, I was wondering...
Tenchi:  Yes?
Maiko:  Do you ever think about sex?
(The question is followed by a very long pause)
Tenchi:  Uhm, well... who doesn't?
(There is another long pause)
Alex:  I think we can all draw our own conclusions from that answer.
(Tenchi lets out a huge sigh of relief)

Alex:  Okay, let's get a question from someone in the front.
(He walks over to a person with his hand up who is sitting in the 
front row)
James:  Tenchi, this is for you as well as Ayeka and Ryoko.   Ahem, I 
understand your shields are very effective at protecting agains 
energy attacks, be it Kagato's energy blasts, or Ryoko's blade, but 
how effective would the LHW or any other shields that you can 
generate be against physical projectiles, such as bullets, arrows, or 
bombs?
Ayeka:  Well, the Jurai powers certainly can protect a member of the 
Royal Family from any danger, so my powers can deflect physical 
projectiles.
Tenchi:  Uhm, considering that the Light Hawk Sword is a Jurai 
power, and based off of Ayeka's response, I would have to say that I 
can deflect physical projectiles as well.
Ryoko:  Why the hell would I know?
Washu:  You ungrateful daughter!  Your shield can deflect almost any 
attack upon you!  Remember the time Mihoshi was shooting at you 
with her Galaxy Police Blaster?
Ryoko:  Yeah, that's an energy weapon though.
Washu:  Technically, you are right, but that isn't entirely true.  The 
design behind a GP Blaster is basically that of a minature Vulcan 
Cannon.  A Vulcan Cannon fires small pieces of magnetically charged 
shrapnel.  It is almost an energy weapon with the exception of the 
fact that there is still some kind of physical item being fired.
Alex:  I think that makes sense.

James:  I've got a question for Kiyone, too.
Kiyone:  All right.
Juraian1:  Just before your escapades back in time, when Ryoko 
enters into your apartment to let you know "it's time to go", you 
replied with "oh, AHHH!!!" really loud.  My question is, what was that?  
I haven't been able to figure out why you screamed.
Kiyone:  Well, I was tired and I didn't expect to see Ryoko at my 
place at that time of night.  Actually, now that I think about it, 
Ryoko has never been over to my place when Tenchi wasn't there too, 
except, of course, for that instance.  Also, Ryoko had that evil grin 
on her face.
Ryoko:  Hey!  What do you mean by that?
Kiyone:  Well, uhm, uh...
Alex:  Next question!

(A man in the back steps up to the microphone)
Daniel:  I have a question for Little Washu, the greatest scientific 
genius in the universe.  Are you happy with how your daughter Ryoko 
has turned out in life, or were you hoping she'd be a little more 
motivated?
Washu:  Of course I'm proud of my daughter!  As for motivation, I 
think she's handling that pretty well.  Look at how motivated she is 
to win Tenchi's heart!
Alex:  Let's move on to the last question before anything bad happens.

TW:  Kiyone, when and how did you get stuck with Mihoshi as a 
partner?
Kiyone:  Well that's a long story...
Mihoshi:  I know how it happened!  You see, Kiyone and I are such good 
friends, that we must have been destined to be together as partners 
forever!
(Kiyone forms a giant sweatbead)

Alex:  Well, as I see that there are no more questions, and that we 
are out of time, this is Alex signing off until next time.  If you 
would like tickets to the next Tenchi Muyo Interview, to ask 
questions of the people on the panel, or just to watch, send all 
requests and questions to KevCHughes@aol.com.  Thank you, and good 
night!
(The stage goes dark and the audience applauds)

---------------------------------------------------------

Okay people, this was my second fanfic.  It took me a while to make 
it ready to be posted on the Internet, but here it is.  By the way, I 
wasn't kidding about sending me any questions you might want to ask 
the characters.  If I get enough responses, I will write a sequel to 
this.  If you do send me a question, I ask that you also tell me what 
name you would like posted as the asker of the question.  Please 
note, I only want real names, no screen names or pseudonyms will be 
accepted.  I'll use the question, but I'll change the name.  If you didn't 
know, all of the questions asked in this fanfic were real questions 
which I got from the members of the Tenchi Muyo Message Board.  
That's proof that I do care about feedback.  So send me your C&C at 
KevCHughes@aol.com... I enjoy it!  Until next time...