Poet, fan-fic reader, and hopefully famous author Assassin Ivy Rose 
sat at her computer reading another sad excuse for literature. She 
shook her long red hair and closed her green eyes, sighing softly. "I 
wish I could own a theater ship and MST so I could kill some of these 
writers."
  A booming disembodied voice suddenly speaks. "This shall be done 
then.you will work for me and in return I will provide you with a ship 
and crew. Only if you MST Tenchi fan fiction."
  "Out of all the anime in the known galaxy you had to choose Tenchi. 
You drive a hard bargain whoever you are, but I want full command of 
the ship! Every and any being or creature or thing whatsoever that is 
on board answers to me alone."
  " Fine, as you wish it, but I will be watching you."

  Ivy soon finds herself seated in a large black leather chair behind a 
desk of white oak. The carpet is plush and dark blue. "I could get used 
to this. You know that voice sounded very familiar.." She let's out a 
yell seeing a woman with blue hair that is wearing blue shorts and a 
white shirt that says Capsule Corp.
  "Bulma! What are you doing here? I mean I didn't know that." She 
lightly bangs her head on the table cursing her unbelievably rotten 
luck. I was going to pick Vegeta as part of my crew. this is soooo 
unfair! Was this done on purpose somehow? No, how could anyone know I 
am completely into Bulma's husband. I'll just act natural. She stops 
banging her forehead on the hard wood and gives a wide grin. "Wow, it 
was unexpected that the most intelligent woman in the DBZ dimension 
would be here. Why exactly are you on the ship?"
  Bulma smiles and pops out a capsule pressing the button before 
tossing it on the ground. With a puff of smoke a nice armchair of red 
velvet pops out. She sits down with a sigh. "That's much better. I have 
been working on the engines and mainframe all day. Oh, and I also made 
it so the computer only listens to your commands. I am the ships 
engineer and pilot now, so you can't torture me with those evil fan 
fictions."
  "Engineer and pilot? That's wonderful." Ivy mutters under her breathe 
something about dropping Bulma into subspace and having Washu take her 
place. "So, the ship's computer will listen to me and only me? Okay 
then lets begin recruiting."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ivy: Computer?
Computer: YES?
Ivy: We will begin bringing in the crew now. My first choice is Duo 
Maxwell, who happens to be held captive at the moment on Quatre's ship 
the Winner Queen. You might have to do a tiny bit of hacking into the 
defense system.
Computer: THAT WILL BE NO PROBLEM AT ALL. I AM THE MOST ADVANCED SYSTEM 
IN THE UNIVERSE. NOW COMMENDERING THE FIRST CREWMEMBER

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  Duo, who is officially janitor, scrubs the sticky floors of the 
lobby. A loud wailing echoes through the ship and Quatre's voice can be 
heard shouting through the speakers.

Quatre: We have an intruder!! Find them and bring them to me!
Duo: I wonder why someone would try to break IN to this place.

A yellow beam of light soon surrounds him and he starts floating off 
the ground.

Computer: DUO MAXWELL.YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO BE PART OF THE CREW ON A 
NEW SHIP.
Duo: Huh? What do you mean a new ship!
Computer: NO TIME. YOU WILL BE TRANSPORTED IMMEDIATELY TO THE CAPTAIN'S 
OOFFICE.
Duo: But.*disappears*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Computer: I HAVE OBTAINED DUO MAXWELL. HE WILL BE HERE WITHIN A MOMENT.
Duo: *falls in flat on his back.he sits up and rubs the back of his 
head* Hey, what's the big idea? *notices Ivy and Bulma* WOAH! I have 
finally died and gone to heaven. Thank you god.thank you.
Ivy and Bulma: (O.O);;;
Ivy: ok.Computer our next member will be Nobuyuki. We need an inside 
input to the Tenchi fics.
Computer: NOW SEARCHING FOR NOBUYUKI AND ACCESSING RETRIEVAL PROCESS..
*Nobuyuki falls in holding his video camera. He slowly puts it down 
looking around*
Duo: Spying on Tenchi to see if he's finally becomes a man?
Nobuyuki: Why yes.how did you know?
Ivy: *sighs*: Computer our next crewmember is Prince Vegeta from DBZ.
Computer: YES MA'AM NOW OBTAINING PRINCE VEGETA.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*A dark figure sits in front of a monitor laughing evilly*
Dark Figure: Ha! I knew she would slip. Weak onna.can't even control 
her hormones in front of the man's wife. She will fall within moments! 
Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bulma: Why would you choose Vegeta to MST?
Ivy: Well.*cough*. you see.
Computer: PRINCE VEGETA WILL BE HERE IN 5.4.3.2.
*Vegeta appears standing in his full Saiya-jin armor with his arms 
folded over his chest. He scowls at Bulma and Ivy*
Vegeta: What am I doing here woman?
Ivy: *goes wide-eyed and leaps over the desk to huggle the Saiya-jin 
prince* Oh, you are the best in the entire universe! I can't believe 
you are actually here, the sexiest guy DBZ and one of the sexiest guys 
in all anime!!
Bulma: *growls* GET OFF MY HUSBAND!!!!
Ivy: Computer, please restrain Bulma.
*Bulma is immediately bound and gagged to the chair*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*The dark figure smiles pressing a button on his monitor. His voice 
soon booms through the ship*
Voice: WEAK ONNA! USING THE SHIPS COMPUTER TO BIND YOUR ENEMY. THAT IS 
PLAIN INJUSTICE! YOU HEAR, INJUSTICE!!
Ivy: I didn't want to use any energy.wait a minute. "Weak 
onna"."Injustice".I knew I knew that voice!! Quickly Computer, 
transport Wufei Chang as our final crewmember.
Voice: NO THAT'S OK. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. *voice is cut off as 
Wufei falls in landing face first on the desk* 
Ivy: I knew it was you. You little demon.how did you know I liked 
Vegeta?
Wufei: *sits up and rubs his forehead* I bugged the Gundam Wing model 
in your room.
Ivy: I'll deal with you later. *addresses the others except Bulma* Well 
my friends you have been chosen to MST Tenchi fan-fics with me. I can't 
get out of that part of the contract with Wufei here, and it also says 
that he controls me and the ship plus it's computer..but it also says 
in the extra fine print that all that is void and all control goes to 
me if I figure out who my benefactor is so*claps* Let's get started!!
*Everyone follows her to the theater*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*ROLL CALL*  
Ivy: I RULE ALL!
Duo: FREE! FREE!
Nobuyuki: Is this going to be bad?
Vegeta: I WILL NOT TAKE ORDERS.ESPECIALLY FROM A WOMAN!
Wufei: THIS IS INJUSTICE!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ivy: Hi, and welcome to the first MST aboard the-
Duo: Uh.exactly what is this ship's name?
Ivy: I was getting to that. Here eat the cookie. *tosses him s 
chocolate chip cookie*
Duo: *catches it and eats happily*
Ivy: Like I was saying.Hi and welcome to the first MST aboard my ship 
the Warrior King.
Vegeta: Not a bad choice of naming.for a woman.
Ivy: *blushes* Thank you Vegeta. We will be looking at Tenchi fan 
fiction separating the few good from the bad and the hideous. Our first 
story will be by Clayton Overstreet.
Vegeta & Duo: NOOOOO.!!
Ivy: It's not a lemon though!
Vegeta & Duo: *sigh*
Ivy: Okay Computer, role 'em.
*5.
*4.
*3.
*2.
*1.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

>I don't own these characters or profit from them.

Wufei: Was that a disclaimer?
Duo: I think so.
Ivy: I like it. It's short and to the point.

> Mortal Cabbit
>By, Clayton Overstreet

* The theme music from Mortal Kombat plays over the speakers. Duo makes 
kung fu sounds and flips*
Others: *. *;;

> Prologue

>  Tenchi sighed as he saw the royal ship appear in the sky over his 
house. Every 
>time the royal family stopped by something bad happened. Tenchi was 
afraid that 
>one of these days Ryoko would do something that would end up getting 
her 
>executed. Not that Aeka would mind.

Nobuyuki: Who's Aeka?
Duo: I think he means Ayeka.
Ivy: Ayeka thinks everything Ryoko does should get her executed.
Vegeta (as Ayeka): You blinked! Die Devil woman!!
Ivy: Wow, I didn't think you're voice could go that high.

>And that was the main problem with Aeka, Tenchi thought. She showed 
love, but 
>only to people she felt deserved it due to lineage. She hadn't even 
started to 
>like Ryoko when the pirate had saved her from Kagato, almost getting 
herself 
>killed in the process.

Wufei: What an ingrate.
Duo: That's what you get from those stuck up royal types. They always 
act like they have a stick up their a-
*Vegeta throws Duo across the theater where he crashes into the wall*
Nobuyuki: Ouch.
Ivy: That's going to cost a lot to repair.

>But while Aeka pretended to like everyone and looked down on most, 
Ryoko 
>pretended to hate everyone and liked all of them, even the princess.

Vegeta*snickers* : We all know how Ryoko likes Ayeka.
Ivy*hits Vegeta with large mallet*: None of that.

>Tenchi had 
>been thinking of telling Ryoko how he felt about her this weekend, but 
with the 
>royals here that would have to wait. Besides there was the other 
problem of age. 
>Not Ryoko's or his, but what his would be.
 
Nobuyuki: Wouldn't that count as his age?

>Even with his Juraian heritage and 
>the extra life given him by Tsunami, Tenchi would still age, albeit 
slowly, and 
>if he wasn't killed, he would still die of old age eventually and he 
wasn't sure 
>if it was right to do that to Ryoko.
>  He had considered asking Washu about it, but didn't want to take the 
chance 
>that her solution would include putting his brain in a jar.

Duo: Smart guy.

>He started to put 
>his gardening equipment away, but realized that he still had half the 
field to 
>plow and this would give him an excuse to avoid Asuza, who really 
didn't seem to 
>like him at all. Smiling Tenchi got back to work.
>
>  Back at the house Sasami, Aeka, and Yosho came out to greet their 
parents. 
>  "Mommy!" Aeka and Sasami yelled as they hugged Masaki. 
>  Masaki was crying, "Oh Sasami! Aeka. I missed you so much."
>  Ryoko was sitting in the door with Mihoshi and Kiyone (Who had 
joined up with 
>them several months before). Kiyone was looking at Aeka in surprise 
and said, 
>"She... she called her mommy!" She burst out laughing. She was so busy 
laughing 
>that she didn't notice Mihoshi and Ryoko move away from her or see 
Masaki walk 
>up to her and look at her angrily.
> "Are you mocking my daughter?" Masaki asked.

Nobuyuki (as Kiyone): No, I was just laughing because she called you 
"mommy".
Wufei (as Masaki): Well as long as you weren't mocking her.

>. Kiyone stopped laughing and 
>looked at her in shock. Masaki grabbed each of Kiyone's cheeks. 
"Nobody mocks my 
>children!"
>  Kiyone moaned in pain and saw Sasami standing behind her mother 
holding up a 
>sign. She began reading it out loud. "I'm sorry pretty lady, I didn't 
mean to 
>insult anyone."
>  Masaki smiled. "Oh that's so sweet. Come give me a hug!" She let go 
of 
>Kiyone's face and hugged her so tightly that Kiyone was sure something 
was going 
>to snap. 
>  Funaho shook her head at Masaki, and then looked at Yosho. "Do you 
know why we 
>are here?"
>  Yosho shook his head, "No mother, I do not." 
 > Sasami giggled from next to his leg. "I do, Tsunami told me all 
about it. It's 
>some kind of tournament right?"

Ivy (as game show host): That's right! Bob, show her what she's won.

>  Funaho nodded. "That is correct Sasami. Why don't we wait until 
Tenchi gets 
>here before we tell them about it though."
>  Sasami smiled and nodded; ignoring the odd looks she was getting 
from the 
>others. Asuza stepped forward and looked around him. "Things have not 
changed 
>much... who are you?" He looked at Noboyuki.
>  "I'm Noboyuki, Tenchi's father. I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you 
last time 
>your highness, I was at work."

Duo: Yeah work.
Nobuyuki: I was!! This time.
Ivy: Ewwww.

  Asuza looked him over, "So you are the man who married my lost 
grandchild. I 
see." Noboyuki looked nervous, afraid that he had offended the emperor. 
Then 
Ryo-oki cam

Vegeta: Yes the Ryo-oki cam! No one will suspect your sweet pet is 
recording their every move.

 walking up in her toddler form and bowed to Asuza. The cabbit-girl 
was so cute Asuza couldn't help but smile.

Ivy: Asuza never smiles though.
Duo: Yeah, just like Wufei and Vegeta.
*Vegeta and Wufei clobber Duo*
Nobuyuki: Medic!!

>  Masaki then proceeded to hug everyone, including Ryoko who had tried 
to sneak 
>away before it was her turn. Mihoshi and Sasami seemed to be the only 
two left 
>standing afterwards. Noboyuki then lead everyone indoors to watch 
television and 
>wait for Tenchi to get home. 
>
>  Tenchi came home at about sunset, putting his tools away and 
cleaning up in 
>the carrot shed's sink.

Duo: Because we all know what he did "At The."
Ivy*gives him the "omae o korosu" stare* : Duo, if you value your life 
don't finish that sentence.
Duo: Sentence? What sentence?
Wufei: Does Heero know you've stolen his stare?

>Then he headed towards the house. He had been hoping 
>that the royals had only wanted to speak with Aeka, Sasami, and Yosho, 
and then 
>would leave. The fact that they were still here told him that whatever 
it was, 
>he was a part of it. 
>  He forced himself to smile as he walked through the door. "I'm 
home!" He 
>called out. Almost immediately he felt invisible arms wrap around him, 
causing 
>him to smile for real. "Ryoko..."

Ivy *wraps her arms around Vegeta*: Vegeta.
Vegeta: *smirks*
Nobuyuki: He's married isn't he?
Ivy: I never was a believer in the "Vegeta and Bulma" relationship.

>  Ryoko appeared and whispered in his ear, "Welcome home my Tenchi." 
He blushed 
>as usual, but Ryoko noticed he was still smiling. She was just about 
to kiss him 
>when...

Ivy: None of you even start those jokes.
Others: Awwww man!

>  "Miss Ryoko, get your filthy hands off of lord Tenchi this instant!" 
Aeka 
>yelled. 
>  Ryoko almost yelled back at her, but remembered Tenchi's rules about 
fighting 
>when they had company. Knowing that Tenchi considered her the only one 
out of 
>her and Aeka who would listen to the rule had made it stick with her.

Nobuyuki: Since when has Ryoko listened to Tenchi?
Vegeta: Since when has he developed a spine to MAKE her do anything?
Nobuyuki: Hey, that's my son you're talking about!!
Wufei: Your son is weak. Get over it.

>Squeezing 
>Tenchi one last time she teleported into the living room with the 
others. 
>  Aeka grabbed Tenchi's arm, "Are you alright? She didn't hurt you?" 
Before he 
>could answer she dragged him into the living room. 
>  Tenchi retrieved his arm

Ivy: Get the arm Tenchi. That's a good boy.

 >and bowed to Asuza and his wives. "Welcome back."
>  Funaho and Masaki grinned, but Asuza eyed him as coldly as always. 
Tenchi 
>smiled nervously and looked around at the others. They seemed to be 
adapting to 
>the royalty easily, except for Kiyone who wasn't used to them yet.

Ivy: Thus the term "adapt".

>When he 
>looked at Ryoko she blew him a kiss. Tenchi blushed and sat down 
quickly.
>  Asuza nodded to Funaho who stood up and looked around her. "Every 
thousand 
>years on every world there is a tournament held by the gods where in 
mortals 
>fight for their patron deity. The winner of this tournament keeps 
control of the 
>world where the fight is held for another millennium. If the world's 
chosen 
>champions loose the majority of the matches then it is taken over by 
the other 
>god."
>  Funaho stopped and looked around at them. "If this happens Jurai and 
all the 
>worlds under it's control will be under the control of someone other 
than 
>Tsunami. They may decide to destroy the universe."

Duo: Or they could destroy all the evil lemon writers!
Ivy: We can only hope.
Nobuyuki: Speak for yourselves.

>Tenchi and the others looked at her in shock. Washu stood up and 
looked at 
>Funaho. "Who is this other god?"
>  Funaho bit her lip. "We aren't sure, but we do know that they are 
the new 
>ruler of Outworld. Apparently Shao Khan was killed and his brother 
Rayden was 
>elevated to elder godhood. Another god was chosen to be the ruler of 
Outworld 
>while the position of Earth's thunder god remains open."
>  Washu sat down and nodded, "I see."
>  Sasami looked around at all of them. "Tsunami told me she would like 
you to 
>fight in the tournament for her. But only if you want too, because 
it's very 
>dangerous."

Vegeta: HA! No tournament is so dangerous that a Saiya-jin would back 
out of it.
Wufei: Didn't Goku send you back to hell with your ass kicked when you 
fought him at The World Martial Arts Tournament?
Ivy *beats Wufei in the head with an abnormally large fish*: NO ONE 
SPEAKS BAD OF VEGETA-CHAN!!!
Wufei: @.@
Duo: Ewwww.stinky

>Ryoko snorted, "Why would we agree to do something like that?"
>  Washu looked at her. "Well the winners get immortality or if they 
already have 
>it, some equally good prize."

Vegeta: What could be as good as immortality?
Ivy: Eternal vitality!!
Others: Okaaaaay.

>  Tenchi looked up, his worries about the danger of the fight leaving 
him. "What 
>do you mean immortality?"
>  Asuza grinned. "Didn't you ever wonder why Aeka and Sasami had to be 
put into 
>cryogenic suspension when we didn't? Masaki, Funaho, and I all fought 
in the 
>last tournament. Even though Juraians live longer than humans we 
usually age at 
>least a little bit in a thousand years."
>  Tenchi bit his lip thinking. This could be the perfect chance to 
live as long 
>as Ryoko. He could finally ask her to marry him. "I'll do it."
>  Aeka smiled, "Me too. That way when Tenchi and I are married we can 
be 
>together forever."
>  Ryoko growled, "Well then I'm in too. And incase you forgot 
princess, Tenchi 
>is going to marry me! Right Tenchi?"

Nobuyuki: Of course Tenchi will marry Ryoko. They have already had a 
child together.
Wufei: Fool! That was the egg the old Ryo-oki laid!!
Duo: You watch the Tenchi series?
Wufei: Shut up.

>  Tenchi stood there like a deer caught in the headlights. Funaho 
stepped in. 
>"We'll discuss this later, now we need to know if anyone else will be 
in this. I 
>have also agreed to participate."
>  Yosho nodded, "I will as well."
>  Mihoshi stood up, "As a Galaxy police officer it is my job to 
protect the 
>galaxy, so I'll fight too."
>  "Same here," Kiyone said.
>  Washu stood up. "I'm in too."
>  Ryo-oki hopped into Ryoko's lap and looked up at them. "Meow!"
>  Ryoko smiled, "Ryo-oki says she wants to fight too."
>  Everyone looked at her surprised. Asuza asked, "Are you sure that's 
a good 
>idea?"
>  Ryoko looked up at him. "She can fight, trust me."

Duo (as Ryoko): She has the meanest left hook I've ever seen.

>Sasami looked at her sadly. "I hope she doesn't get hurt."
>  Washu frowned. "That's only nine. The tournament has ten matches. 
Who's the 
>last?"
>  Masaki rolled her eyes. "Serio."

All: SERIO?! HAHAHAHA!!!
Vegeta: He's a weakling.
Ivy: They'll kill him before he gets through talking about how good he 
is.
Duo: I bet you two boxes of Milk Duds they won't.
Ivy*shakes his hand*: I'll take that bet.

>  They all looked more surprised than when Ryo-oki had volunteered.
>  Asuza cleared his throat. "Despite his fight with Tenchi last time 
Serio is a 
>master of the Jurai energy and a fantastic swordsman."
>  They all looked unconvinced. Tenchi looked at Funaho again, "If this 
is a 
>tournament there must be rules."
>  Funaho nodded. "Yes, there are. The fights are to the death, unless 
you either 
>yield or your opponent spares your life. The gods are not allowed to 
participate 
>unless another god wishes to fight them. If someone is challenged they 
must 
>either accept or yield. But if you do not give an answer then nothing 
happens. 
>And finally, you are only allowed weapons that you can carry."
>  Kiyone chewed that over. "Does that mean we're allowed to use our 
guns?"
>  Funaho nodded, "Yes, but I have to warn you now that it may do no 
good."
>  Noboyuki looked at Tenchi. "It sounds to me like this is going to be 
very 
>dangerous. You could be killed."

Nobuyuki: Who do they think I am? Mojo Jo-jo?
Wufei (as Mojo Jo-jo): This tournament is dangerous.it is full of 
danger.death may occur.you could die, be deceased, be killed, never 
return again.

>  Tenchi nodded. "I know dad." He stopped and glanced at Ryoko who was 
telling 
>Aeka that she wished she could fight her instead. "But I think it will 
be worth 
>it."
>  Noboyuki put a hand on his son's shoulder. "Just come back to me."

All: *look at Nobuyuki strangely*
Nobuyuki: WHAT?!

>  Tenchi smiled. "I promise dad."
>	
>  As they entered the Jurai system Tenchi stood looking out at the 
stars. It had 
>been three days since they had left Earth. And the farthest Tenchi had 
even been 
>had been away from Earth was orbit. Knowing the universe was a big 
place and 
>seeing how big it was were two entirely different things. 
>  From behind him he heard someone step into the room. They walked up 
behind 
>him. "Kind of overwhelming huh?" Ryoko asked. 
>  Tenchi nodded, "Yeah, but how did you know what I was thinking?"

Ivy: Ryoko is a psychic
Vegeta: She's already read the story.
Duo: She asked Miss Cleo!

>Ryoko smiled and slid her arms around his waist. "I know more about 
you than 
>you think Tenchi."

Duo (as Tenchi): Oh no she knows about my "Tenchi on a Plate of 
Sashimi" experience.
All: *turn green*

>  He blushed and said, "I believe it."
>  They both stared out at space for a while. "Tenchi?"
>  "Yes Ryoko?" He said.
>  Ryoko bit her lip. "If we don't make it through this I just want you 
to 
>know... I really do love you. I always have. And the time I've spent 
with you 
>and the others has meant more to me than anything else in my life."
>  Tenchi reached down and rubbed

Duo: *opens mouth*
Others: DON'T EVEN SAY IT!
Duo: *closes mouth*

>her hand. "I know Ryoko. I feel the same way." 
>He felt a tear drop onto his neck.
>  "Why did you agree to do this Tenchi? I saw the look on your face 
when they 
>told us about this and I know you weren't exactly concerned about 
Jurai or even 
>Earth... not really."

Nobuyuki: How can he not be concerned about the earth? Where will we 
live?!

>Tenchi saw Ryoko's reflection in the glass (or whatever it was) ahead 
of him. 
>He saw the tears on her cheeks as she looked at his reflection too.
>  "Because I..." He stopped, and then turned to look back at her. 
"Because I 
>don't want you to ever be lonely or sad Ryoko. And you would be if I 
were to one 
>day grow old and die."
>  Ryoko frowned. "So you purposely put your life on the line, just to 
see if you 
>can live as long as I do? That has to be the stupidest, most 
idiotic..." Tears 
>fell from her eyes again. "...Sweetest thing anyone has ever done." 
She fell 
>across him, holding him tightly to her.

Vegeta (as Tenchi): Ryoko.I can't.breathe.
Ivy (as Ryoko): Oops sorry.

>"But if you or I die..."
>  "That won't happen Ryoko. We'll get through this." Tenchi slowly put 
his arms 
>around her back, the view outside momentarily forgotten.

All except Vegeta & Wufei: Ahh, how sweet.

>  Two days later Tenchi and the others were informed that the 
tournament would 
>begin in exactly two hours. Sasami had agreed to let Tsunami use their 
body for 
>the duration of the tournament, so that she could guide them to where 
they 
>needed to go.
>  Following behind the goddess most of them were looking around in 
amazement at 
>the planet around them. Over the last few days they had seen a lot, 
and Tenchi 
>had to agree that this was indeed as beautiful a place as Aeka always 
said it 
>was. Even Aeka, Sasami, and Yosho seemed impressed. It had been over 
seven 
>hundred years since they had last been on the planet after all, and 
the last 
>they had seen of it Ryoko had burned most of the cities to the ground.

Vegeta: Ryoko sounds like my kind of woman.
Ivy: *growls, eyes turning red and a blue energy field surrounds her* 
What did you say.?
Vegeta: O.O;;; Uh.nothing.

>  When they had arrived on the planet there had been a press 
conference at which 
>Ryoko formally apologized for what Kagato had made her do. Since the 
royals had 
>already explained what had happened, nobody really seemed to hold a 
grudge 
>against Ryoko. Well except for Aeka who always held a grudge against 
her. 
>  Serio had joined them on the way towards the tournament gathering 
and had 
>spent the last ten minutes telling them how great he was. Mihoshi 
whispered in 
>Kiyone's ear, "Is it just me, or does he look like the grown up 
version of 
>ChibiUsa on Sailor Moon?"

Wufei: You know he kinda does.
Duo: I wouldn't say that.
Wufei: Why? She can't do anything about it.
*ChibiUsa appears in her Sailor Mini-moon outfit*
Chibi: Pink Sugar Heart Attack!
Wufei: *laughs when nothing happens*
Chibi: I said Pink Sugar Heart Attack!! *Little pink hearts hit Wufei 
repeatedly in the face. After about 2min. later she vanishes*
Duo: Told ya.
Wufei: *holding face* Owwww.

>  Kiyone snorted getting a look from Serio. "You commoners and your 
disgusting 
>noises."
>  The others rolled their eyes and walked in silence, letting Serio 
ramble on. 
>Tenchi whispered to Funaho, "We don't have to win every match do we?"
>  Funaho shook her head, "No, just the majority."
>  Suddenly Tsunami stopped at a vacant lot. The others stopped behind 
her and 
>waited for something to happen. It didn't take long. 
>  Clouds filled the sky and the sound of thunder could be heard. A 
bolt of 
>purple lightning hit the lot in the dead center and the air began to 
ripple. 
>When it all cleared there was a group of people standing there, with a 
strange 
>woman sitting on a thrown in the middle of them.

Nobuyuki: Let me get this straight. A strange woman was sitting when 
she was suddenly thrown in the middle of a group of people?
Vegeta: He didn't mean that type of thrown.

>Tsunami and Washu gasped and at the same time said, "Tokimi."
>  Tokimi stood up and looked at them. "Welcome to Mortal Kombat."

Ivy: Okay everybody! Break time!
All: YAY!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Ivy sits in Vegeta's lap feeding him chocolate as he smirks to 
himself. Duo sits beside them devouring a giant basket of nachos. Wufei 
and Nobuyuki sit across from them. Wufei has his arms crossed and 
glares at Ivy while Nobuyuki sips a soda*
Duo: Hey what are you going to do about Bulma?
Ivy: I was thinking about dropping her into subspace or a black hole 
and replacing her with Washu.
Wufei: You are a disgrace.
Ivy: *charges an energy blast* Don't even get me started with you Chang 
Wufei.
Vegeta: I've been wondering.how exactly is it that you can power up and 
have a Saiya-jin signature to your power level?
Ivy: You see I found all 7 dragon balls one time and I thought it 
really sucked that no female Saiya-jins survived the planet's 
destruction, so I wished for the Eternal Dragon to make me into a 
Saiya-jin.
Wufei: *face faults* You mean to tell us.?
Ivy: I am the last female Saiya-jin in the entire Universe!!
Vegeta: Let's see your tail then.
Ivy: I had to have it cut off temporarily after destroying the city 
during a full moon.
Others: Yeah.right.
Ivy: OK, everyone back into the theater. 
*All march back into the theater*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

>Serio vs. Reptile

Ivy: Don't forget our bet Maxwell.
Duo: I won't and don't try to back out of it when you lose.

>  Tokimi looked over the group on at a time. All of them, even Washu, 
felt an 
>almost uncontrollable urge to bow to the woman before them and offer 
up their 
>souls to her with a smile.

Duo & Nobuyuki (as Wayne & Garth): We're not worthy!

>Tenchi realized that this was what it was like to 
>meet a full goddess. With a supreme effort everyone managed to remain 
standing, 
>and only by looking at Tsunami.
>  "I assume you have been informed of the rules?" Tokimi asked. They 
all nodded. 
>"Then there is no need for formalities. If you lose this galaxy is 
mine. My 
>people will be challenging you and will choose where you fight. The 
rest of you 
>will be able to watch, but not interfere once it has begun.

Wufei: Hey those sound like the terms used when Vegeta fought Android 
18, and didn't she.?
Vegeta & Ivy: * power up a large ki blast*
Wufei: ^.^;; never mind.

>If anyone attempts 
>to cheat you will be kicked out and someone else will have to fight in 
your 
>place. Now unless there are any questions, let us begin."
>  A man in a green and black ninja outfit stepped forward and walked 
towards 
>them. Before he could reach them Serio stepped confidently forward. 
The ninja 
>looked at him, his expression unreadable behind his mask. "I am 
Reptile. I 
>challenge you to Mortal Kombat. Do you accept?"
>  Serio smiled and nodded. "I accept."

All: *chants* Reptile's going to kill Serio.

>They both vanished and a glow appeared above Tokimi's throne. As it 
came into 
>focus everyone could see Serio and Retile

Nobuyuki: Retile? What happened to the lizard man?

>stood facing each other on 
>scaffolding,

Duo (as scaffolding): You guys weigh a ton!
Wufei: That was so lame.

>over a vat of green liquid. Tokimi's voice filled the area. 
>"Begin!"
>  Serio drew a sword that looked similar to the master key and faced 
his 
>opponent. Reptile took a stance facing him and they began slowly and 
carefully 
>moving towards each other. Suddenly Serio rushed forward swinging his 
sword with 
>precision. Tenchi and the others had to admit, he was pretty good. But 
Yosho and 
>Tenchi began to see flaws in his technique as the two fought.

Vegeta: This is pathetic.
Wufei: This is sad.
Duo: This is weak.
Ivy: This is distasteful.
Nobuyuki: I think my coffee is pretty good, thank you.

>Reptile was doing 
>wonderfully, dodging Serio easily. 
>  Then the pink haired wuss began to get the upper hand.

All: WHAT?!!

>Reptile was backed to 
>the edge of the scaffolding. Serio stopped and looked at him. "Do you 
>surrender?"
>  Reptile looked at him calmly... and vanished. Serio looked around 
himself in 
>every direction. Next to him Tenchi heard Kiyone talk to Mihoshi, "I 
think I can 
>still see Reptile's shadow. See right there?"
>  Tenchi and the others looked where she was pointing and saw 
something move. 
>Serio suddenly jerked back and grabbed his jaw. Then again and again. 
Serio 
>jumped back and swung his sword. Reptile appeared again, dodging the 
sword. 
>Serio laughed and began advancing again.

Ivy: How can someone choose to be so dense?
Wufei: I don't know. Ask Duo.
Duo: Yeah that's right ask.HEY!

>Reptile grabbed the side of his mask and pulled it off, revealing a 
lizard -
>like face. Serio was so surprised that he took a step back. In fact 
several of 
>the people around him gasped too.

Nobuyuki: How did more people get on the scaffolding?
Vegeta: I have no idea.

>Then Reptile opened his mouth and spit in 
>Serio's face. 

All (except Vegeta & Ivy): OH THAT'S JUST NASTY!

>Serio dropped his sword and screamed. The acid Reptile had spit on him 
ate 
>away at half his face, letting skin and blood drip onto the steel 
grating at his 
>feet.

Ivy: *begins eating a jumbo tub of popcorn*
Duo: *turning green* How can you eat seeing that?
Ivy: What? It's only acid eating at Serio's flesh causing bloody gore 
to drip slowly onto steel grating.
Duo: *looks ill*
Ivy: Computer, Duo's going to need a barf bag.
Duo: *grabs the bag* Thank you.BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!

>Reptile vanished again. Everyone watched as Serio was lifted into the 
air 
>by his invisible adversary (sorry if it sounds like I'm over using the 
>thesaurus)

Vegeta: Not enough of you guys use a thesaurus.
Wufei: I agree.

>and was literally ripped to pieces, which fell into the vat below 
>him.

Duo: *looks at the screen* BAAAAAAARRRFFFFFF!
Ivy: *pats his back* Poor baby.

>The image faded and Reptile appeared with the others by Tokimi. The 
goddess 
>stood up from her thrown and looked them over, no longer smiling. 
"Flawless 
>victory."
>
>Mihoshi vs. Subzero

Nobuyuki: Dear sweet Mihoshi is going to be killed?
Duo: So "Nobuyuki's Secret" is true?
Vegeta: There is no way this weakling is a Super Saiya-jin!!
Duo: I didn't mean that.

>Tenchi and the others were unnerved. That had been one of the single 
most 
>horrible things they had ever seen.

Duo: I know it was for me.
Ivy: I thought it was kind of cool, even though more detail could have 
been put into it. What do ya'll say about us doing a dark fic next?
Wufei & Vegeta: YEAH!!
Duo: Oh noooo.

>Aeka was visibly shaking. Mihoshi was 
>whining to Kiyone about not wanting to fight the monsters while Kiyone 
tried to 
>calm her down. Tenchi was watching the other side to see would come 
forward 
>next. It didn't take long.
>  A man in a blue ninja suit, very similar to Reptile's began walking 
towards 
>them. Everyone watched as he stopped in front of them and looked them 
over, 
>walking slowly down the line. Finally he looked into Mihoshi's eyes. 
"I am 
>Subzero and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat."

Vegeta: Sure.choose one of the weakest people around.

>Taking a slow breath Mihoshi nodded. "I accept." As she and Subzero 
began to 
>vanish Mihoshi took one last look at Kiyone. "Kiyone, if I don't come 
back I 
>want you to know that..." Once again the image appeared above Tokimi. 
"I love 
>you." Mihoshi finished.
>  Kiyone bit her lip, watching Mihoshi and whispered, "I love you too 
Mihoshi."

Nobuyuki: WHAT?! Kiyone and Mihoshi are lesbians?
Ivy: They're only the oldest known couple in anime. God Nobuyuki, you 
can't even keep up with the events in your own home.

>In the image Mihoshi looked at Subzero nervously. "Now how does this 
work?"

All: *fall down anime style*
Nobuyuki: That's Mihoshi for you. ^.^

>Subzero laughed. "Let me show you." He held out his hand and a beam of 
ice 
>shot towards Mihoshi. Letting out a squeal she ducked and it hit the 
wall behind 
>her. The stone froze, and then cracked into tiny pieces. 
>  Mihoshi looked up at him. "Please don't do that. I catch cold very 
easily."
>  The people around Tokimi laughed, while Tenchi and the others 
watched her. 
>Mihoshi pulled out her gun and pointed it at Subzero, firing it in 
time to 
>shatter the ninja's next ice beam.

Duo: A bullet shattered an ice beam?
Wufei: I feel your confusion.
Ivy: Look at it this way.we only have 10 more pages to MST.
Vegeta: You mean to tell us we are reviewing a fan-fic that is almost 
20 pages long?
Ivy: O.O;;; Oops, did I forget to mention that? 

>Subzero aimed his other hand at the floor, freezing a path between his 
and 
>Mihoshi's feet. Mihoshi looked down, then slipped falling onto her 
butt. "Ouch!"
>  Subzero slid across the ice towards her. Reaching down he picked her 
up by her 
>uniform and pulled her to his face.

Ivy: Is he going to kiss her before sending her to an icy death?
Nobuyuki: You are too mellow-dramatic.

>"Now you die." In his right hand a very 
>sharp ice cycle formed. He raised it up for the killing blow. 
>  Kiyone watched in horror, letting out a small sob. "Mihoshi... no." 
Yosho put 
>a hand on her shoulder. 
>  In the image Mihoshi suddenly sneezed and two small globs of spit 
hit Subzero 
>in the eyes.

Duo: First Reptile, now Mihoshi. Is everyone going to spit at their 
opponents in this thing?

>He immediately dropped the ice and Mihoshi, backing away from her. 
>"Ah! My eyes!"
>  Mihoshi looked up. "I'm sorry, I told you I catch cold easily. Are 
you 
>alright?"
>  Subzero moved his hands away from his eyes. Mihoshi gasped as she 
saw that 
>they were completely frozen over, just like the wall had been. "Oh I'm 
sorry."
>  Subzero smiled

Vegeta: He has on a mask right?
Nobuyuki: Yes.
Vegeta: So how do they know he's smiling?
Nobuyuki: I guess you can see it in his eyes.

>and shook his head in amazement, just before his eyes shattered 
>sending shards into his brain. Slowly he sank to the ground, blood 
dripping from 
>his eyes.

Duo: *turning green again* Not again.
Ivy: It's not that bad, and you call yourself Shinigami.

>The image vanished and Mihoshi appeared with the rest of her friends. 
>  Tokimi looked at her. "You win."
>  Kiyone threw her arms around Mihoshi and held her tight. Mihoshi 
hugged her 
>back. "I was so scared Kiyone."
>  "Me too Mihoshi..." Kiyone said. 
>
>Kiyone vs. Kano

Wufei: I hope Kano tears Kiyone apart.
Nobuyuki: Why would you say that?
Wufei: Because she's a stuck up bitch.
Nobuyuki: I think you're mistaking her for Ayeka. 

>As Kiyone and the others congratulated Mihoshi on her defeat of 
Subzero, 
>another person detached himself from the other group and walked up to 
the 
>others. His right arm and half his face seemed to be made out of a 
silvery 
>metal. His right eye glowed red as he looked over Kiyone. His eyes 
stopped on 
>her badge and he grinned.

Duo: I think he's just checking out her breasts.
Ivy: *takes out her mallet and hits Duo in the head*
Duo: @.@.that.hurt.

>"A cop, I like killing cops. Maybe I'll have a little fun with you 
before I 
>kill you. Bet you'd like that huh?"

Ivy: *lifting her mallet* No one says a single word.
Guys: O.O;;;

Kiyone glared at him, waiting for him to issue the challenge. He 
laughed and 
smiled at her. "Fine, then here it goes baby. My name is Kano and I 
challenge 
you to Mortal Kombat."
  Kiyone looked at Mihoshi who smiled back at her. "I'm sure you can do 
it."
  Kiyone turned back to Kano. "I accept." 
  Kiyone found herself standing on a sidewalk. The sky was dark and the 
area 
around her was quiet. She looked around for Kano, but couldn't see him 
anywhere. 
  "Where are you?" She yelled out.
  Suddenly something heavy hit her from behind, sending her flying 
forward. From 
behind her she heard Kano say, "Right here cop."

Wufei: "Right here cop"? Out of all the clever things he could have 
said that's the best he could come up with?
Nobuyuki: Well he is a convict so he couldn't be too smart now could 
he?
Wufei: Why do you say that?
Nobuyuki: The truly smart criminal never gets caught.
Wufei: You sound like you know this from experience.

>Kiyone looked and saw him holding a trashcan over his head. It had a 
dent in 
>the side about the size of her head. "Not one for fair fights are 
you?" She 
>asked.
>  Kano laughed and threw it at her. "Nope, never seemed like a good 
idea to me."
>  Kiyone rolled away before the can could hit her and was quickly on 
her feet. 
>Kano charged her, swinging his metal arm straight towards her face. 
Kiyone 
>ducked and grabbed his arm, pulling at it so that his momentum took 
him into the 
>wall.

Ivy: Hey Duo. Kano looks just like you when Vegeta threw you into the 
wall.
Vegeta: *snickers*
Duo: *pouts* Leave me alone.

>His arm slid through the brick easily, but his face hit the wall with 
a 
>metallic clang. 
>  Pulling out of the wall Kano turned back to Kiyone who had her gun 
pointed at 
>him. "What do you think you're going to do with that thing sugar?"
>  Kiyone looked at him coldly and pulled the trigger. A yellow beam 
shot out and 
>hit Kano in the metal part of his face, then bounced into the side of 
the 
>building, blowing a hole in it. Kano cursed and held up his arm to 
block the 
>shot that followed. Even so, one hit him in the other arm, opening a 
three-inch 
>hole. Bleeding he ran into the alley with Kiyone on his heals. 

Vegeta: Something like a three-inch hole is nothing to send someone 
running.
Ivy: Yes Vegeta, we all know how you would have torn her heart out and 
laughed at her as she slowly fell down at your feet in a giant pool of 
her own pathetic blood.
Vegeta: You know me too well.

>When she turned the corner Kiyone got a metal fist in her face.

All: OOOOOOoooooo.

>Dropping her 
>gun she jumped back, holding her forehead. She couldn't see anything; 
there was 
>blood dripping into her eyes. Kano laughed and stepped out of the 
alley after 
>her. "Little pig lost her gun huh? Well lucky for you I've found it."
>  Kiyone angled her head towards the sound if his voice and smiled. 
"You 
>wouldn't dare."
>  Kano laughed. "Oh really?" He pointed the gun at her, and then 
pulled the 
>trigger. A huge explosion engulfed his body, shattering his eye before 
the fire 
>consumed the human parts of him. Kiyone wiped the blood from her eyes 
in time to 
>see Kano's arm and the metal part of his face land at her feet.

Ivy: Wow, nice effects.
Duo: *dry heaves*

>Smiling she 
>crushed it and watched as the red light of his eye slowly dimmed. 
>  Kiyone turned and found herself with her friends again. Mihoshi 
hugged her 
>first, followed by the others. "You were terrific Kiyone." Mihoshi 
said.
>  Washu nodded. "Pretty smart using the biosensors in your gun like 
that."
>  Tokimi looked at Kiyone from her thrown. "You win."
>
>Ryo-oki vs. Motaro 

Vegeta: He's actually going to have the cabbit fight?
Wufei: I bet it gets stepped on.

>Tenchi and the others stared as a huge monster headed towards them. It 
had 
>huge ram-like horns in it's head and a thick tail. Aside from that it 
looked a 
>lot like a centaur. It came over and looked them all over, then 
snorted. "None 
>of them look to be worth my time."
>  Aeka was about to say something when Ryo-oki hopped forward. "Meow, 
meow 
>myah!"
>  The creature looked down at the little cabbit confused. Ryoko 
smiled. "She 
>said she is Ryo-oki and she challenges you to Mortal Kombat."

Ivy: Yeah Ryo-oki! Kick ass!
Duo: She's going to be killed.
Ivy: I bet you double or nothing on our bet that she'll blow Motaro to 
kingdom come.
Duo: Four boxes of Milk Duds? *shakes her hand* You're on!

>The monster laughed. "Fine, if she wishes to die. I Motaro, accept."
>  Tokimi smiled, "As the challenger Ryo-oki may choose where to 
fight." 
>  Ryo-oki thought about it, and then meowed at Tokimi. The goddess 
nodded and 
>both she and Motaro vanished. Tenchi turned to look at Ryoko, "Think 
she can do 
>it?"
>  Ryoko smiled confidently. "I doubt farm boy there will last two 
minutes."

Vegeta: You think the cabbit stands a chance?
Wufei: I seriously doubt it.
Ivy: She'll win!!

>Ryo-oki appeared facing off against Motaro. They were on an asteroid 
floating 
>in space. Motaro looked down at her and stomped his hoof, shaking the 
asteroid 
>and causing Ryo-oki to fall over. "This is just pathetic."

Nobuyuki: You're telling me.
Duo: Aren't you supposed to be on her side?

>Ryo-oki righted herself and hissed at him angrily. She suddenly jumped 
at 
>Motaro. Motaro laughed and flicked his tail, planning to hit her. Ryo-
oki 
>grabbed onto it and bit down hard, taking out a chunk of muscle. 
>  Motaro roared in pain and began beating his tail against the ground, 
slamming 
>Ryo-oki into the rock. The cabbit managed to hang on until he flicked 
his tail 
>upwards, sending her flying into the air.

Ivy: *smirks* He just made a big mistake.
Duo: Why do you say that?
Ivy: You forget Maxwell.Ryo-oki can turn into a space ship.
Duo:: uh-oh

>Watching her tiny body disappear into 
>the sky Motaro laughed. 
>  In the sky Ryo-oki let out a long yowl and transformed into a huge 
spaceship. 

Ivy: See told ya!

>Motaro's laugh caught in his throat. Red energy began to form around 
the tips of 
>Ryo-oki's spikes. Then it shot out directly into the asteroid 
shattering it and 
>sending Motaro flying into space. As the monster left the atmosphere 
of the 
>asteroid he began clawing at his own throat, unable to breath. A few 
minutes 
>later his legs stopped twitching and he was totally still.
>  Ryo-oki appeared on top of Ryoko's head, meowing happily. 

Ivy: *gets up and dances happily* Yeah, in you face Maxwell!!
Wufei: *shakes head* It was only for candy.

>Tokimi nodded. "You win."
>
>Yosho vs. Baraka

Nobuyuki: Honorable father fights next.
Vegeta: A warrior even in old age. He gains a little of my respect.
Duo: Let me guess.a great honor for a human right?
Wufei: Duo, Yosho is Juraian.

>The next challenger headed towards Tenchi's group. By now they were 
all 
>feeling very confident. This man looked as odd as the others had 
though. He had 
>huge metal teeth and long blades attached to his arms. He walked 
straight 
>towards Yosho and looked into the 'old' man's eyes. 
>  "I am Baraka, and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat."
>  Yosho turned to Tenchi and handed him the Master key. "Tenchi, give 
Ryoko all 
>of her gems back now."

Nobuyuki: Why would he do that?
Ivy: So Ryoko can be at the top of her game in order to destroy her 
opponent completely.
Nobuyuki: Oh.

>Funaho looked at Yosho worriedly and said, "But that means they won't 
be 
>keeping you alive any more."
>  Yosho nodded. "I know, but if I die here it won't matter any more 
and if I win 
>I won't need them."
>  Tenchi took the sword and closed his eyes, concentrating. Suddenly a 
gem 
>appeared on Ryoko's neck and right wrist. She closed her eyes as her 
body began 
>glowing blue.

Guys: *look at Ivy suspiciously*
Ivy: I do not have the same power as Ryoko, because I'm Saiya-jin!!

>Yosho's body changed, becoming young again. Aeka looked at him in 
total shock, 
>"Yosho you're..."
>  Without letting her finish Yosho grabbed the sword and turned back 
to Baraka. 
>"I accept your challenge."
>  Ryoko was rubbing the gem in her neck as Yosho vanished. As one the 
group 
>turned to look at the image above Tokimi again.
>  Yosho and Baraka were already fighting. They seemed to be in the 
middle of a 
>desert. Yosho swung the sword at Baraka, who actually blocked it with 
his own 
>blades. But despite that Yosho was obviously in control of the 
situation. He was 
>backing Baraka up step by step, cutting his arms and face in several 
places. 
>  From beside him Tenchi heard Funaho whisper, "Hurry Yosho, you don't 
have much 
>time."

Duo: You know it's hard to make fun of this story.
Others: Shhhhhhhh.

>Tenchi looked at her confused. "Why doesn't he?"
>  Funaho pointed up at him. "Because he won't last. See for yourself."
>  Tenchi looked up again and saw what she meant. Yosho's swings had 
begun to 
>slow down and a streak of gray was working its way through his hair. 
Wrinkles 
>were spreading over his face, turning him into the old man they all 
knew. 

Ivy: *begins passing out handkerchiefs* Something tells me we're going 
to need these.

>  Baraka began to get the advantage, pushing the old man back into his 
own 
>tracks in the sand. Yosho seemed to be blocking his attacks though, 
until he 
>suddenly stopped in his tracks. Baraka was as surprised by this as 
anyone and 
>stopped also staring at the old man.
>  Tenchi yelled out, "Grandpa, what are you doing?"

Wufei: Don't tell me he's giving up.
Vegeta: I withdraw my earlier appraisal.
Nobuyuki: How can you be so cold about my wife's father?

>Yosho's hair had started to fall out, and his skin was tight around 
his bones. 
>He looked almost like Ryoko had when Tenchi had released her from the 
cave. 
>  Examining his hand Yosho's face was perfectly calm. The sword 
flashed blue and 
>vanished from his hand, appearing in Tenchi's. Yosho turned back to 
Baraka and 
>bowed his head, accepting death. 

Duo: Is this going to be an evil death like before?
Ivy: Nawww, not for Yosho.

>Aeka let out a loud scream as Baraka's blade swung towards Yosho's 
head... it 
>never landed. Yosho's body crumbled to dust before it hit him and the 
blade 
>passed right through. A breeze blew across the sands, taking Yosho's 
remains 
>with it. 

All: O.O....

>Tears fell from Aeka's face. Tenchi put a hand on her shoulder, but 
she 
>shrugged it off. Finally she turned to Ryoko. "This is all your 
fault!" She 
>screamed. 

Duo: Now how is that her fault?!
Wufei: Ayeka thinks highly of Ryoko.
Vegeta (as Ayeka): IT'S YOUR FAULT THE EARTH BLEW UP!
Ivy (as drunk Ryoko): Ah.stop being a stick in the mud and have some 
sake..

 > Funaho stepped in, "No it isn't Aeka. Yosho knew what was going to 
happen."
 > Aeka looked at her venomously. "How can you say that? You were his 
mother."

Nobuyuki: *shivers* That was cold.
Ivy: *hands him a sweater*

>  Funaho nodded. "I know. That's why I know that he knew he was going 
to die." 
>Aeka turned away without another word, watching the other group, 
ignoring her 
>friends entirely.
>
>Washu vs. Smoke

Duo: Hell yeah! Go Washu-chan!!
Wufei: You have a thing for Washu?
Duo: Have you seen her adult form? SHE'S HOT!!


 > A dark gray robot walked towards them. As it looked at them a thin 
red beam 
>slid over each of them. Washu was watching with interest. "It's 
scanning us..."
>  The robot's head turned towards her. "Affirmative. Calculations 
complete. 
>Mental and physical capabilities means that you would be my most 
dangerous 
>opponent. I Smoke, challenge you to Mortal Kombat."

Vegeta: Hmmm, choosing his toughest opponent first. I could see a 
Saiya-jin building a robot like that.
Nobuyuki: *mutters* Yeah if you weren't stupid monkeys.
Ivy & Vegeta: *growls* What was that?
Nobuyuki: >.<;;; I didn't say anything.

>  Washu bit her lip, then grinned and nodded. "I accept, just let me 
slip into 
>something a little more comfortable."

Duo: *leans forward on the edge of his seat*
Wufei: *smacks the back of Duo's head making him fall face first on the 
floor*
Others: *laugh hysterically*

>Her form wavered and changed to her adult 
>self. Then she and Smoke vanished.

Guys: *jaws drop*
Duo: See, what did I tell ya'.
Ivy: *whispers something to Vegeta*
Vegeta: *stares at Ivy* Really.?
Ivy: *nods* yep
Vegeta: *smirks* I'll be there.
Duo: What are you two talking about?

>  Up in the image Tenchi and the others saw Washu and Smoke appear in 
a 
>junkyard. Smoke's rib cage opened revealing missile launchers. He 
fired at 
>Washu, who disappeared in a cloud of smoke and dust. 

Duo: I thought DBZ had the dust thing patented.
Vegeta: So did I.

>  When it cleared Washu was standing in a glowing energy field. Her 
hands were 
>out in front of her, her holographic computer out in front of her. 
"My, you are 
>a piece of work. Not as advanced as what I'm used to but you could be 
fun."

Nobuyuki: She's going to make him into her sex toy!
Duo: I WANT TO BE WASHU'S SEX TOY!!

>  Washu pushed some buttons on her computer and Smoke suddenly 
stiffened up.

Ivy: Look Duo-
Duo: Just leave me alone.

>Washu laughed and pushed another button. The robot turned to face the 
people 
>watching, then began to do a square dance. Pieces of him began falling 
onto the 
>ground, until only one leg was bouncing around. 
>  Washu reappeared next to her friends and smiled up at Tokimi. Tokimi 
snorted 
>and smirked at her. "Flawless victory. Though I'm not sure that that 
was 
>entirely fair."

Wufei: I'll say. Where was the violence, gore and other brutally cool 
things that make stories such as this bearable?

>  Washu laughed. "Fairs are for tourists Tokimi. Anyway I didn't break 
any 
>rules."
>  Tokimi nodded. "Yes, I know. You won Washu."
>
>Funaho vs. Sheeva

Nobuyuki: I've always liked her.
Duo: Sheeva?
Nobuyuki: No! Funaho.
Ivy: Extremely old or extremely ugly. Not much of a choice there my 
friend.

>  Funaho watched as another monster came towards them from Tokimi's 
group. This 
>one appeared to be female, but not like any girl any of them had seen 
before.  
>She stood seven feet tall, had four arms and red eyes. Her skin was 
tan-gold and 
>she had three fingers on each hand. Her hair came out of the back of 
her 
>otherwise baldhead in a long black ponytail. She let her gaze flow 
over Tenchi, 
>Ryoko, Aeka, and finally Funaho.  

Vegeta (as Sheeva): Hmmmm.which one to make into my pleasure slave for 
eternity?
Ivy: You're beginning to scare me Vegeta-chan.

>  "I am Sheeva and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat." 
>  Funaho looked up into her eyes, "I accept."
>  Funaho felt a cold breeze hit her in the face. Looking around her 
she saw that 
>she and Sheeva were standing on the top of a huge stone pillar. It was 
square 
>and when she glanced over the edge she saw nothing but a dark abyss 
below her. 
>Whether it was truly bottomless or not, didn't matter. It was deep 
enough that 
>either way if she fell down there. She would not be coming back. 

Wufei: *using an evilly deep voice* There will be NO return for 
you.mwahahahaha!!
Duo: And you talk about my sugar level.

>  Keeping an eye on Sheeva, Funaho began circling her, looking for any 
weak 
>points. Sheeva merely stood in the middle, watching Funaho closely. 
Funaho moved 
>in, getting close to Sheeva with each pass. Finally Sheeva couldn't 
wait any 
>more and swung at her.
>  Funaho grabbed her arm and flipped Sheeva over her head. Sheeva 
landed on her 
>back, shaking the pillar as she hit. She was still smiling though. 
"Not bad... 
>for a human."

Ivy: She sounds like you Vegeta.
Vegeta: *shoots a ki blast at her*
Ivy: *bats it away creating a hole in the wall* Dammit!

>  Pressing all four of her palms onto the ground, Sheeva shot straight 
up into 
>the air. Flipping she landed on her feet. Funaho tried to back up, but 
Sheeva 
>grabbed her. "Now it's my turn." Pulling back her fists she began 
punching 
>Funaho mercilessly. Funaho kept hitting and kicking Sheeva with all 
her 
>strength, but her blows didn't so much as bruise the monster. 

Wufei, Vegeta, & Ivy: *stare at the screen at happily eating popcorn* 
Now this is what we're talking about.
Nobuyuki & Duo: *going pale then turning slightly green* You guys are 
sick.

>  This went on for five minutes until Funaho was a limp and bloody 
mess in 
>Sheeva's arms. Sheeva raised Funaho above her head and began walking 
to the edge 
>of the pillar. She raised Funaho above her head and looked down into 
the 
>darkness beneath her. 
>  Suddenly Sheeva stopped and shook her head, dropping the unconscious 
empress 
>onto the ground behind her. Looking up at the sky Sheeva yelled out, 
"There is 
>no point in killing an unconscious enemy. I choose to spare this one's 
life."

Vegeta: I would have killed her anyway.
Others *rolling their eyes* We know we know!

>  Sheeva appeared before Tokimi. Tokimi smiled at her and nodded. "As 
you know, 
>I am not Shao Khan. I understand about honor Sheeva. You win... you 
will be 
>gaining an additional reward later." She looked at her other remaining 
>followers. "But I also don't condone going easy on people just to gain 
my 
>favor." They nodded and bowed to her.
>  Meanwhile Tenchi and the others were gathered around Funaho. Her 
face was a 
>swollen mass of bruises and cuts. Her jaw and skull were both cracked 
and her 
>arms and legs were all broken.

Nobuyuki: Poor Funaho.
Wufei: Asuza's going to kill you.
Nobuyuki: Why?
Wufei: Everyone knows Funaho is his favorite.

>Tenchi looked at Washu, "Can you help her Washu?"
>  The scientist shook her head. "I don't know Tenchi. We will have to 
see. I'll 
>put her in stasis until after the tournament. " Pushing a button on 
her 
>computer, Washu enveloped Funaho in a green light. "At least... it's 
almost 
>over."
>
>Aeka's disgrace: Ryoko vs. Scorpion

Ivy: I wonder how Ayeka disgraces herself.
Duo: I think-
Wufei: No one cares what you think.

>  A woman dressed in bright green walked towards them. Her face was 
deathly calm 
>as she looked over the last three. Whether it was fate, or just the 
evil plans 
>of the author, Aeka, Ryoko, and Tenchi were all that was left to 
fight.

Ivy: I vote "evil plans of author"
Wufei: "evil plans"
Vegeta: "plans"
Nobuyuki: "author"
Duo: "fate"?

>The 
>others stepped back, allowing the woman a clear view of them. 
>  Finally she looked at Aeka. "I am Jade and I challenge you to Mortal 
Kombat. 
>Do you accept?"
>  Aeka stood up and looked her right in the eyes. "No."

Vegeta: SHE RELENTED?!
Wufei: She was sitting?

>  The others looked at her in shock. "But Aeka..."Kiyone began.
>  Aeka shook her head, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I 
just can't 
>do it. After what happened to Yosho. Funaho, and Serio... I just can't 
do it."

Nobuyuki: I don't blame her.
Ivy: That's because you have no spine.

 > Jade sneered at her, much the way Aeka always did to Ryoko. "You are 
a 
>coward."

All (except Nobuyuki): RIGHT ON!!!

>Turning she left Aeka standing there. Aeka couldn't stop crying. "I... 
>I couldn't do it... I just couldn't do it!"
>  Tenchi put his hand on her shoulder. "Nobody blames you Aeka. Most 
people 
>wouldn't have agreed to fight in this."

Duo: But since she refused the challenge she didn't agree to fight in 
it.
Ivy: That's the smartest thing you've said all day Maxwell, here. 
*tosses him a Twinkie*
Duo:*catches it* Oooo, my favorite!
Ivy:*snickers* I thought so.
Duo: Mmmff.?
Ivy: Nothing, enjoy your treat.

 > She shook him off. "No, don't say that Tenchi. I am a coward."
 > Ryoko was about to tell her that she wasn't a coward when she felt 
someone tap 
>her on the back. Turning she saw a yellow ninja this time. He looked 
into her 
>eyes with blank, white yes of his own. "I am Scorpion, and I challenge 
you to 
>Mortal Kombat. Do you accept?"
 > Ryoko nodded. "You bet." Her own eyes glowed yellow, while the gems 
in her 
>wrists and neck glowed red. Ryoko blinked and suddenly found herself 
in a 
>forest. She grinned and looked around. "So you're hiding from me 
Scorpion?"
>  From behind her she heard Scorpion yell, "Get over here!" She turned 
to look 
>at him and got a spear in her gut.

Vegeta: That must have felt good.
Ivy and Wufei: *stare at the screen silently*
Duo & Nobuyuki: *prepare barf bags*

>"Aaaah!" Looking down she saw a chain 
>sticking out of her stomach. It began pulling her towards Scorpion.
>  Ryoko reached down and pulled the chain out of her stomach. She 
almost lost 
>her hand as the spear at the end tried to bite her hand off. 
Teleporting away 
>she healed her stomach. Then she found herself wrapped in Scorpion's 
chains 
>again. 

Ivy: *looking dreamy eyed* He's into SM.
Guys: 0.0;;;

>"You aren't the only one who can teleport. Let's take this somewhere a 
little 
>more fun." Scorpion said. Before she could answer Ryoko found herself 
falling 
>into a dark pit. She hit the ground hard. Looking around she saw piles 
of 
>humanoid bones strewn all around. The only light came from fire, 
spitting from 
>the walls. Ryoko looked around for Scorpion and saw him on scaffolding 
above 
>her.

Duo (as scaffolding): Please get off me.
Nobuyuki: You've done that joke already.

>  Ryoko growled and fired a huge ball of energy at him. Scorpion 
disappeared 
>before it hit, blowing up the catwalk. Ryoko looked around and decided 
that 
>enough was enough. Closing her eyes her entire body began to glow. 
Blasts of 
>light shot from her body in every direction. When Ryoko opened her 
eyes again 
>all that was left was her, Scorpion, and a huge crater. 
>  Scorpion looked directly at her and pulled his mask off. His face 
became a 
>skull, which opened its mouth, spitting fire directly at Ryoko. Ryoko 
laughed 
>and swept it aside. "If that's the best you have, let me show you 
something." A 
>thin Mist began to form in front of her. It grew and swelled until it 
was a blob 
>about 30 feet high. Suddenly it grew arms and legs. Evil red eyes 
popped into 
>existence, looking directly at Scorpion. Scorpion shot out one of his 
chains 
>into it, but it had no effect.

Ivy: Death by demonic torture. That is too cool.
Vegeta: Now you're scaring me.

>  Grabbing the chain the demon pulled Scorpion into the air and swung 
him 
>around. Finally it threw him into the wall of the crater, cracking his 
skull and 
>causing a huge explosion. When the fire and dust cleared there were 
two Ryoko's 
>giving each other five and bumping hips. "Oh we are bad!"

Wufei: *staring blankly at the screen* Oh yes you are.
Nobuyuki: *waves his hand in front of Wufei's face* Are you ok?

>  Tokimi smiled at her as she reappeared. "You win. But be warned, if 
your next 
>fighter fails the battle will be between Tsunami and me. I guarantee 
that if it 
>comes to that she will not survive."
>
>Tenchi vs. Shang Tsung

Ivy: Ok people we're almost done here.
All: WOO-HOO!!

>  Tenchi looked at Ryoko and his remaining family. Funaho's battered 
body caught 
>his eye. Without saying anything to anyone he stepped forward, not 
waiting for 
>the next person to come meet him. As he did another man stepped 
forward. Unlike 
>the others, he seemed to be perfectly normal. Tenchi looked him in the 
eyes and 
>the man looked back. "I am Shang Tsung. I challenge you to Mortal 
Kombat."
>  Tenchi nodded. "I accept." 
>  Tenchi looked around at the place where he found himself. It seemed 
to be a 
>normal fighting ring, except for the holes all over it. In the center 
was a huge 
>dragon symbol. Tsung grinned at him. "I see you admire my ring. But 
this is no 
>ordinary match. When I defeat you I will get your soul and your power 
boy... if 
>you have any."

Vegeta: *yawns*
Duo: What's with you?
Vegeta: Unnecessary talk bores me.
Duo: So your own show must put you to sleep.
Vegeta: *sighs* Yes it does.

>Tenchi shook his head. "I don't plan on loosing."
>  With no warning Shang shot his hand forward. A flaming skull came 
shooting 
>towards Tenchi. He managed to duck as the skull exploded behind him. 
Tenchi held 
>out the master key, summoning the sword. With a shout he ran at Shang 
and swung. 
>The sword almost missed him, only cutting the sorcerer's cheek. 
>  Shang grabbed his face and cursed. "Not bad, but let's see you stop 
this." 
>Suddenly huge spike popped out of the floor and Tenchi was surrounded 
by people, 
>who hadn't been there before. "Here are some of the souls I've 
collected." 

Ivy: That is a rather raggedy collection of souls.
Wufei: And I suppose you can do better.
Ivy: *glares* I can add you to my collection if you want.
Wufei: That won't be necessary.

>Tenchi looked around at all of them, the fell forward as one kicked 
him in the 
>back. Another took the sword from Tenchi's hand, the screamed as it 
sent energy 
>through him, turning him into a pile of dust. 

Duo: "the screamed"?
Nobuyuki: I was about to say the same thing.

>  Unfortunately Shang had stepped between Tenchi and his sword. "What 
will you 
>do now?"
>  The warriors around him all summoned different kinds of energy, 
including 
>Shang Tsung. It was all fired directly at Tenchi from every side, and 
the 
>blinding explosion that followed engulfed him. Shang smiled and held 
out his 
>hand to claim Tenchi's soul. But something was wrong.

Wufei: HIS SOUL SUCKING MACHINE WASN'T PLUGGED IN!

>  As the smoke cleared Shang and his warriors could see a glowing 
shield around 
>Tenchi's body. Suddenly there was a flare of light, which evaporated 
all of 
>Shang's ghosts. Shang watched in shock as the shield moved over 
Tenchi, changing 
>his clothes and skin. Tenchi held out his hand and a sword formed in 
it. 

Ivy: Hey, he's pulling a Lady Achika.
Nobuyuki: Look Achika, our son has finally become a man.
Ivy: Not quite.

>  Shang laughed, still confident. "Ha, like a simple sword could harm 
me." Shang 
>held out his hand to fire another volley of skulls at Tenchi. Before 
he could 
>Tenchi swung his sword. Shang laughed. "Lot of good that did. You're 
way 
>over..." He fell to the ground in two pieces. The ring's spikes also 
fell down 
>in a triangular pattern from where Tenchi stood. 

All: *blink*
Wufei: That.
Vegeta: .was.
Nobuyuki: .just.
Duo: .a little.
Ivy:.anti-climatic.

>  Turning Tenchi found himself being hugged by everyone, who told him 
how proud 
>they were of his fighting. Ryoko kissed him directly on the lips 
before either 
>of them remembered that Aeka was there. But for once the princess 
didn't seem 
>interested. Aeka didn't feel she had any more right to insult the 
pirate. 

Ivy: Not that she ever had the right in the first place.

>  Tokimi stood up and looked at Tsunami. "You have chosen your 
champions well 
>sister. I will see you next time." The clouds faded from the sky and 
as Jurai's 
>sun shone down, Tokimi and her followers vanished. 
>  Tenchi looked at Tsunami, who looked back sadly. "I am sorry 
Tenchi." 
>  Tenchi sighed. "My grandfather knew what was going to happen. And 
Serio knew 
>the risks. It's over now... right?"

Guys: We hope so!

>  Tsunami nodded. "For now."

Guys: AWWWW MAN!!!!

>  Tenchi sat in the living room with Kiyone and Mihoshi on his right 
and Ryoko 
>on his left. Sasami sat on the love seat with Ryo-oki and Washu. They 
had just 
>finished telling Noboyuki what had happened. "Is Funaho alright?"

Duo: We all know why he wanted to know that.
Nobuyuki: *turns red*

 > Tenchi nodded. "Yes, Washu was able to heal her."
 > Noboyuki looked around. "Then why didn't Aeka come back with you?"
 > Kiyone looked at him. "Because she was ashamed. She said she needed 
some time 
>alone and that she might be back later."
>  Noboyuki was confused and he glanced at Tenchi, "But I thought she 
wanted to 
>marry you."
>  Ryoko shook her head. "She said watching Yosho die made her realize 
that she 
>didn't really love Tenchi like that."

Wufei (as Tenchi): Why don't you want to marry me?
Duo (as Ayeka): After watching the half-brother I wanted to marry die 
made me realize I don't love you like that.
Ivy: This really suits you two.
Vegeta: *snickers*

 > Mihoshi, who had been staring at her hand for the last ten minutes 
said, "You 
>know it's weird."
>  Kiyone looked at her. "What is Mihoshi?"
>  "Well we don't age any more, but I don't feel any different. Do 
you?"
>  Ryoko snorted. "You think that's weird? How do you think I feel? The 
elder 
>gods made me the new Earth goddess of thunder. The only good part is 
that Tenchi 
>has to run the shrine now so we'll be working together."
>  Noboyuki grinned. "What I want to know is, who's going to be 
qualified to 
>marry you two to each other?"
>  Tenchi blushed and looked at Ryoko. He had asked her to marry him on 
the way 
>back from Jurai. Unfortunately he had forgotten that his father would 
have to be 
>told. 

Nobuyuki: Why would that be so bad?
Vegeta: Face it. You're an embarrassment.

>  Sasami giggled. "Tsunami said she'd do it."
>  Washu sighed and looked around at them. "Things are going to be very 
different 
>now." She was still in her adult form.

Duo: *begins to drool*
Ivy: Stop that! This ship IS new you know!

>"It's going to be so quiet without Aeka 
>around."
>  Ryoko grinned and put her arm around Tenchi. "In that case we'll 
have to make 
>lots of noise, won't we Tenchi?"

All: 0.0;;;;

>Tenchi's nose bled slightly and everyone else laughed. Kiyone winked 
at Washu, 
>"Things haven't changed that much"

>The End

All: YESSS!! *"Celebration" plays on the speakers*
Vegeta: Actually it wasn't that bad.
Duo: It was a lot harder to make fun of.
Ivy: It was good, but I would have liked to see Sonya do "The Kiss of 
Death" on Nobuyuki, causing his body to explode into bloody chunks.
Nobuyuki: *faints* @.@
Ivy: Oops, my bad. 

>Author's note
>  You know, I thought this would be funnier. I mean seriously, didn't 
you laugh 
>at the title? But once you get to the actual matches it begins to get 
pretty 
>repetitive. While I did get a little humor into this, there is only so 
much you 
>can do once the killing starts.

Duo: Tell me about it.

>By the way, if you are a sailor moon fan please 
>do not get mad about the Reeny = Serio joke.

Wufei: Or if you thought it was funny don't say so for the fear of the 
wrath of Sailor Mini-moon.

>If you can do this better or want 
>to MST it, please do; just send me a copy first. If you think this was 
a good 
>story, email me at clayton_n@hotmail.com 

Ivy: Well thanks for joining us in our first MST. Remember that no one 
on this ship belongs to me, even though I wish I could buy Vegeta. I 
make no money of doing this, so I have no way to pay anyone if they 
sue. I have to figure out to make repairs and the MST author who 
thought of The Winner Queen.don't get mad. Get Even!! I want to have a 
war with you. Remember to send comments and suggestions to 
Ivysaur8500@aol.com (yes I know it's a pokemon so no jokes about it) 
Bye!!