Washu Teaches Ryo-ohki a Lesson

                             Written by Aaron Shattuck
                             <dilandau2@hotmail.com>

                    Edited by Chippy the Transvestite Gnome


     Washu had spent many a tedious hour in her vast laboratory, but her work 
was almost rewarded! The concept had struck her from out of the blue, about a 
month ago. Why not invent a machine, that would due away with belligerence, 
and replace it with complete, universal love? There would no longer be any 
war, she thought, and she would be hailed as the savior of the universe! The 
task was not so simple, however. It had taken much longer to both design and 
build her dream, than any other machine she had made before. But at last, it 
was but a few hours until completion!
     "I think I deserve a lunch break!" she thought to herself, producing a 
plate of food, that Sasami had prepared for her a day previous. The plate 
contained mostly rice, as well as some sautéed beef, greens, and a single raw 
carrot. Washu ate ravenously, and soon only the carrot remained. She lifted it 
up to her mouth, when she heard a soft mewing. By her feet, sat Ryo-ohki, 
rubbing at her ankle and begging for the carrot.
     "Go away, Ryo-ohki!" Washu snapped. "This is my desert!"
     "Mew mew..." protested the small Cabbit.
     "I said, 'You can't have any!'" Washu declared.
     Suddenly, Ryo-ohki leapt into the air and knocked the carrot out of 
Washu's hands. It fell in a mass of wiring, and Ryo-ohki bounded after it 
happily, going, "Meeow! Meeow!"
     "No!" Washu shouted, but it was too late. The feisty Cabbit had chased 
the carrot into the wiring.
     Ryo-ohki shredded wires and crushed circuits, in her search for the stray 
carrot. Finally, she spotted a patch of orange and rushed to it, pulling out 
even more wires in the process. Smoke began to rise from the massive machine. 
Once Ryo-ohki had made it to the carrot, she celebrated by leaping with it, 
into the air. With a happy "Meow!" she landed in the very center of Washu's 
machine, smashing it's delicate "brain" easily. Sparks began to fly and then 
the whole thing exploded! Chunks of metal flew through the air and when the 
smoked cleared, there was but a blackened Cabbit, sitting on a useless shell 
of scrap metal.
     "Ryyyyyoooooo-oooooohki," snarled Washu, flames leaping in her eyes, 
"This time, you've gone too far!"
     "Meow?" wondered Ryo-ohki, when suddenly, Washu snatched her from her 
seat.
     "Meow! Meow!" protested Ryo-ohki, but Washu would have none of it. She 
took pieces of frayed wire, and used them to pin the Cabbit to a grating that 
was imbedded in the surface of what was once the Love Machine.
     "You like carrots, huh?" Washu smirked menacingly, picking up the carrot 
that Ryo-ohki had pursued. "I'll give you a carrot!!!"
     Washu began to jab Ryo-ohki's face with the carrot, bruising the Cabbit 
to a great extent.
     "Meeeeooow!" cried Ryo-ohki. "Meow! Meeeow!!"
     "Hahahahahha!" replied Washu, slamming the carrot harder into her face. 
Spots of blood began to stain Ryo-ohki's furry noggin. The cabbit struggled in 
vain. She could not even loosen the wires that held her bond.
     Washu decided to stop playing around, and began to shove the carrot, hard 
into Ryo-ohki's skull.
     "Meeeeow!!" Ryo-ohki screamed in pain. "Meeaaaaaaow!!!"
     Washu ignored the Cabbit's pathetic cries for mercy and applied even more 
force! Soon, little snapping sounds could be heard. Ryo-ohki screamed and 
screamed, but the pain wouldn't go away! Her vision was beginning to go out, 
and all she could see, was a fuzzy silhouette of her tormentor.
     "Die! Die!" screamed Washu. Slamming the carrot down with all her might.
     "Meeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!" shrieked Ryo-ohki, until she could only 
cough and gurgle.
     Washu put the whole weight of her body into it and suddenly, Ryo-ohki's 
head exploded! Little pieces of skull and brain, mingled with droplets of 
blood, to shower all over Washu's arm. The carrot had been reduced to 
inedibility.
     "Phew," sighed Washu, wiping the sweat off her brow, and thus smearing it 
with the previous insides of Ryo-ohki's skull.
     Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Ryoko entered Washu's 
lab/dimension, with a concerned look on her face.
     "Washu," she asked, "Did you just kill Ryo-ohki?"
     Washu looked guiltily at the bloody little pile before her.
     "Define 'kill,'" she replied.

The End.


Boy, wasn't that fun? Well?! Wasn't it?!!! Par usual, all questions, comments, 
flames, and declarations of war, are welcome at dilandau2@hotmail.com. If 
you're wondering, no, I'm not on drugs. Unless you count these little, lumpy, 
multi-colored pills I found in an unmarked container in my medicine cabinet, 
but I think they're just really old Flinstones vitamins.