7/17/00 Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! and it's characters are not mine. They are owned by Pioneer/AIC (I think). I found them, and I'm just having a little fun with them. I'm not trying to make any money with them. This is simply for my own entertainment. Well, I hope it entertains a few others also, possibly. But please, do not sue me. OK? Pretty please? This is version two of this fic, I've fixed the formating problems with the original, and corrected some spelling errors. As to the content of the fic, well...I left that alone. I basically wrote this for myself, to try out a couple of different styles and premises. I'm well aware that it's basic premise is *very* far fetched, but that was the idea; put the characters in a ridiculous situation and follow it to it's conclusion. It tends jump around a bit, I hope it's not too jarring. I think it has a couple of nice moments, though it does have it's weaknesses. Oh well, take it for what it is. P.S. You should at watch OVA Eps.8 first or you're going to think Tenchi and I are total pervs. "TROUBLE, WITH A TWIST OF LIME" by, Trey BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The alarm clock on Tenchi's nightstand was going off. It was five A.M., time to get up and tend the fields. But this particular morning Tenchi felt more like dying quietly in bed. The alarm hammered away in his skull like the pummeling hand of a giant, with a desperate effort he lunged for the off switch. He lay sprawled for a moment, waiting for the room to stop spinning. What the hell had he done last night? He clawed his way back into the inviting warmth of his bed, grabbed a handful of sheets and rolled over. His fogged mind took several moments before realizing that he had come to rest against something, a warm something. With an almost superhuman effort, he managed to pry his eyelids apart. The 'something' groaned and started to come into focus. The sight that greeted him was a pair of bloodshot eyes looking back. In a detached sort of way his mind registered this and tried to make some sense of it. "There's someone in the bed with you, you idiot!", the little Tenchi in the back of his mind yelled, slapping him awake. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!", he managed, as he gracefully tumbled from the bed, landing on his head. The room commenced to spin again, gradually cycling down, as the figure on the bed shot bolt upright. "TENCHI!?!", a voice said, in shock. Suddenly, boosted by adrenaline, his brain started functioning enough to recognized the figure perched upon the bed. "WASHU!?!", he gurgled, in disbelief. The next thing to register was the fact that he was lying on the floor of his bedroom, legs still resting on the bed, completely naked. Washu was in the process of making a similar discovery concerning her own state of dress. "OH, MY GOD!", they cried in tandem. A strange moment of calm settled, as their wide eyes met. The following seconds warped into an eternity as they each feverishly tried to reconstruct the circumstances that had led to this unlikely situation. Unfortunately, both drew complete blanks. The momentary paralysis ended abruptly. Tenchi's hand shot out grabbing the sheets in an attempt to cover himself, and an impromptu, frenzied tug-of-war ensued. Tenchi, emerging victorious, wrapped himself and shakily got to his feet as Washu rolled off the opposite side of the bed. She reemerged, hugging a pillow in an attempt at modesty, her blushing visible even in the darkened room. "Tenchi?" "Washu! What the hell are you doing here?", he angrily growled. "Where are we?", she said, more than a little confused. "In my bedroom!" "Your....?", she looked around, trying to get her bearings. Little flashes of the previous night's havoc began to come to them, as they stood surveying the shambles of the room. Mattress askew, bits of clothing strewn here and there. An empty bottle of Tequila bottle lying on the dresser, next to some discarded lime peels. Suddenly, the realization set in. Their eyes locked once more, growing wide. "We were...!", Washu exclaimed. "Did we...?", Tenchi asked. "How could....?", Washu argued. "Didn't you...?",Tenchi pleaded. "But you...!", Washu accused. "I didn't...!", Tenchi denied. "We did...!", Washu insisted. "Oh, my god.", Tenchi finally agreed. Washu fell to her knees leaning on the bed, as Tenchi dropped heavily to the floor holding his pounding head. "I remember... something about a...carrot..?", he mumbled, slowly shaking his head. Washu frantically began rummaging through the debris trying to find some of her discarded clothing. "Tenchi.", she said quietly, pulling on the shorts she had found. "Tenchi!,", she hissed again, trying to get his attention. "I'm going to sneak downstairs before anyone wakes up." She quickly pulled on her top and collected the rest of her clothes. Hurrying to the door, she stopped and turned around to look at him. "I...", she began, not knowing what to say. "We..." He sat with his head bowed and didn't meet her eyes. "We'll figure this out in the morning..., together.", she said, trying to reassure herself as much as him. Tenchi turned to look at the door as she closed it behind her, his mind going in circles. Giving in to the chaos, he got to his feet, stumbled to the bed and promptly flopped face down onto it. All he wanted now was the blissful ignorance of sleep. "Please let this be a dream.", he begged. ********************* As stealthily as she could, Washu weaved her way down the hall, each creak of the floor boards as loud as an atomic blast. 'Please, oh please, let Ryoko be asleep!', she pleaded with whatever powers might be listening. 'If she catches me and figures this out, I'm dead!' Right now, she thought, I might just deserve killing. How the hell had this happened? The previous evening was a blur. Just as she was passing, the door on her left opened. "Washu?", a voice said. Washu's body and heart tried simultaneously to leap in two directions at once. After a few agonizing seconds her heart began beating again, she slowly turned her head. Sasami stood in the doorway rubbing her eyes. "What are you doing here?", she said, sleepily. "Uh..." 'Come on genius think!' "I...uh." She looked around, her eyes finally falling on the bundle in her arms. "I just had to get some laundry I left up here." 'Way to go genius, if you look up 'lame' in the dictionary you'll probably find that particular excuse.' -'Shut up!, stupid subconscious, you're not helping!'- But Sasami just yawned. "Doing laundry? I figured you'd be asleep for sure, after last night.", she said, as she padded past on the way to the bathroom. "Oh, Washu? Do you know your shirt's on inside out?", she said before closing the bathroom door. Washu made her way, heart pounding, to the stairs. Hugging the wall for support. Down she crept, into the family room. All was quiet. Well, not exactly. Mihoshi's snoring battled for supremacy with Ryoko's, echoing out of the beams overhead. Just a few more steps and she was home free. "Made it!" she sighed, leaning against the closed door. Safely inside her lab, she made her way to her private, and seldom used, quarters. She dumped her burden in a heap on the floor and shakily walked to the bed. She sat down on the edge with her head in her hands. "Oh, what have I done?", she muttered to herself. Painfully, it was all coming back now. She remembered drinking, a lot of drinking. It involved a singularly strange game Mihoshi had found on the Internet. Having to do with watching some horrible American movie called, "Scarface", and drinking an equally horrible liquor called Tequila. Every time the lead character in the movie said the english word 'F--k', you had to drink, not too difficult. Apparently it was played at American colleges, which explained a lot really. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Nobiyuki had even managed to get Tenchi involved, that was a first. A challenge from Ryoko had gotten Washu to par take as well. Everybody had been looking for an excuse to unwind and this was the chance. The thing nobody had counted on was just how often the guy in the film was going to say 'F--k'. It was every other word he said! It was amazing how many ways he used it. As an adjective, a verb, a noun, a pronoun, did Americans really talk like that? A half hour into the movie casualties began to mount. First Nobiyuki was help away by a staggering Lord Katsuhito. They left loudly singing some song about goblins...badly. Not too long after that Sasami came to collect a seriously intoxicated Ayeka. She had slurred something to the effect of having to keep an eye on her Tenchi. Washu could remember promising her that she would take good care of him. 'Well, apparently I've done that.', she thought, disparagingly. Four contestants were left and Washu was keeping up with the bottomless pits of Ryoko and Mihoshi. You didn't live to be her age without learning how to hold your liquor. Surprisingly, Tenchi seemed to be holding his own, as well. Pretty soon they were all laughing like idiots, doing their worst imitations of the ridiculously violent movie's, over-the-top dialogue. About that time, Tenchi, more or less a stranger to alcohol, had begun commenting very loudly on how this Tequila stuff wasn't so bad, and that he really didn't feel any different. At least she was pretty sure that was what he had been saying, he seemed to be speaking some foreign language at the time. It was at that point that she decided Tenchi had abused himself enough for one night. She had to admit that she wasn't feeling to well either, for that matter. It had been a real trial getting Tenchi on his feet, he had a death grip on a bottle of Tequila and a handful of limes, which he refused to let go. Her next obstacle had been fending off Ryoko's burning desire to help. She could handle him, she reassured Ryoko. Washu hadn't wanted HER to do anything foolish, that was a laugh. 'Doctor, heal thy self!' Washu practically had the carry the drunkenly giggling Tenchi up the stairs. Soon she was giggling as well, at their comical efforts to walk anything even resembling a strait line. They managed to get through the door to Tenchi's room only to collapse in a tangled heap inside. It was just to much, they had both burst out laughing at that point. Washu, tears in her eyes, had struggled to her feet. She glared down at a whooping Tenchi, hands on her hips. She had grabbed him by an ankle, and began dragging the helpless Tenchi across the room. This only helped to set off renewed bouts of laughter, punctuated by Tenchi taking slugs from the bottle, still firmly clutched in his hand. Finally making it to the bed, Washu dropped his ankle and pulled back the sheets. Then she set about helping the rolling Tenchi to his feet, he was a lot heavier than he looked. After several aborted attempts she managed to swing him around and flip him onto the bed. She pulled his slippers off and then had climbed on top of him, in a laughing attempt at wrestling the bottle and limes from him. And then... And then it happened. She hadn't planned on it. It just happened, the two of them playfully wrestling, when suddenly it became more than just playful. She wasn't even sure who had made the first move. Sure, she liked Tenchi, but she had never really thought of him 'that way'. Not the way the girls felt about him. He was so sweet, in his innocence. 'The innocence I've stolen from him.', she thought, with a sickening feeling. She fell back on her bed, an arm draped across her eyes. These people were all she had, she loved them so much. It had been a long time since she had a real family. Her own had been destroyed long ago by events beyond her control. After that she had tried to convince herself that she didn't need anyone. But that was a lie and she knew it. Then she had created Ryoko, only to have her taken away by Kagato, and she got to experience the pain of loss all over again. It seemed to be her lot in life. But she had been happy, truly happy here, for the first time in millennia. Reunited with her lost daughter. Surrounded by people who loved her and accepted her, even with all her eccentricities. Now she had done this. She knew what this would do to Ryoko and Ayeka, if they ever found out. They would never forgive her. She wasn't a child, no matter what she looked like. She knew the repercussions of her actions. "How could I have done something so stupid!", she said, angrily punching a fist into the mattress. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Machines, she could fix. Need a gadget to snuff out a sun, she was your girl. She was a genius all right, but how could she possibly fix this? Exhaustion and the lingering effects of the alcohol finally won out, as she quietly cried herself to sleep. *********************** With a toddling Ryo-Ohki helping, Sasami went about the business of fixing lunch, hoping it wasn't going to go to waste like the breakfast she had made. "Good morning...Sasami.", Mihoshi said, entering the kitchen. "Oh good, you're awake! I was starting to think you and Ryoko were going to sleep all afternoon!", Sasami said with a smile, taking a taste from one of the pots. "You're just in time for lunch." Mihoshi grimaced. "Could I have some tea please Sasami?", she asked, not sounding like her usual chipper self. After a night on the couch Mihoshi's hair looked like a work of modern art, and the cushions had left some interesting patterns on her face. "You don't look so good. Are you feeling okay?", Sasami asked, a little concerned. "I'll be all right," she said, forcing a smile. "I think maybe a bath would wake me up." "You and me both.", Ryoko said, yawning as she materialized in the kitchen. "Ugh...It tastes like Ryo-Ohki slept in my mouth last night!" "Miya!", Ryo-Ohki said, looking offended. "I know, I was only kidding.", she said, giving her furry friend a pat on the head. Sasami fixed them both cups of tea, which they sipped suspiciously, unsure as to whether it would stay down or not. "Where is everyone?", Ryoko asked, in between sips. "Well," Sasami said, handing Ryo-Ohki a carrot. "Ayeka's been up for a while, I think she may be out in the garden. But I haven't seen Tenchi or Washu yet." "I'm not surprised, we really tied one on last night.", she said, making a face. "Tenchi was drinking like a fish! I hope he's OK." '...haven't seen Tenchi...yet.' "Maybe I should check on him.", she said, worriedly. She took a step back, reappearing an instant later in the hallway outside Tenchi's door. She knocked. "Tenchi?", she called quietly. No answer. She leaned in, phasing her head through the door, to take a look around. "Tenchi?", she whispered. She knew he hated when she spied on him like this. But he was fast asleep under a mound of sheets, and snoring like a freight train. She smiled. 'Well, he seems to have survived.', she thought, with a chuckle. This was the first time she'd ever seen Tenchi, capital 'D', Drunk. He'd been so funny. Well, maybe this was a good sign, he was finally loosening up a bit. He was so serious all the time, how could anyone go through life like that? He never had any fun, it wasn't healthy. She tried to liven things up for him, but he was so stodgy. Half the time she only succeeded in making him mad. But any attention from him was good attention, as far as she was concerned. She knew, somewhere deep down he loved her, he never stayed mad at her for long. But winning him over had turned out to be harder than she ever would have believed possible. Not that she was worried about failing and loosing him to someone else. That just wasn't going to happen. A wistful smile crossed her face as she took one last look. She stepped backwards into the hallway, then took another step back, reappearing in the kitchen. Mihoshi was gone. Sasami was holding Ryo-Ohki hands, while Ryo-Ohki stood on Sasami's feet, both giggled as Sasami took dancing steps around the kitchen. Sasami noticed Ryoko watching them. "Oh, Ryoko. How's Tenchi?", she said, brightly. "Still sleeping. Can't say I'm surprised.", she said. "Where'd Mihoshi go?" "She went to take a bath. There's still time before lunch is ready, if you want to take one too." Ryoko gave her sleeve a sniff. 'Yuck!,' she thought.' A bath's not such a bad idea.', "How long do I have?", she asked Sasami. "Twenty minutes?" "No problem. I'll be back soon!", she said, as she zipped off. *********************** Ryo-Ohki happily munched away at a plate of glazed carrots. The girls sat around the table, picking at their lunches, still trying to recover from the previous nights festivities. Except for Sasami, and Ryoko, who was plowing through her third helping. "Come on Ayeka, you have to eat something.", Sasami begged. "Maybe later Sasami.", she said, sipping a cup of broth. She looked distinctly green. "Feeling a little under the weather, princess?", Ryoko said through a mouthful of rice, unable to pass up the chance to needle her. "This is the normal reaction to being poisoned.", she said, shooting Mihoshi a look. "Thank you, Mihoshi!" Mihoshi, who wasn't feeling any better than Ayeka, looked back embarrassed. "Maybe you should stick to Sake and leave the stronger stuff to those of us who can handle it.", Ryoko replied, snickering. "Well, those of us who aren't Monsters, don't have that special organ of yours that helps you digest poisons!", she said, as steely eyed as she could manage. "Oh, please! Mothers milk could put you under the table, Ayeka!" "I know!" Ryoko said, smiling sweetly and picking up a pitcher, "How about a nice glass of water?" Ayeka sat fuming, Sasami and Mihoshi looking back and forth between the two of them worriedly. "Please...don't fight.", Sasami pleaded. Just then a figure appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "Tenchi!", Sasami said happily, drawing the other girls attention. "You're just in time for lunch!" Sasami got up and ran over to him. Taking him by the hand, she led him to the table. "Tenchi!", Ryoko said, with a knowing grin, "How are you?" "Lord Tenchi!", Ayeka said smiling happily. "Hi, Tenchi!", Mihoshi piped up. "Miya!", Ryo-Ohki added, not wanting to be left out. "Uh...Hi.", he said quietly, not meeting anyone's glance. "Feeling well enough to eat, Tenchi?", Ryoko said, patting the cushion next to her. "Have a seat." Sasami sat back down, leaving Tenchi nervously standing there. "Tenchi?", Ayeka said, studying him curiously for a moment, "Have you been working out? I hadn't noticed before how muscular you've gotten." Tenchi fidgeted, now being scrutinized by the other girls. Ryoko looked him over closely. "Hey, I hadn't even noticed! I guess all that practice is starting to pay off.", she said laughing. "You've worked off all that baby fat." Tenchi shuffled his feet, looking at ground. "He looks so virile, doesn't he?", Mihoshi observed, giggling. Tenchi was practically dancing in place now. "STOP IT!", he suddenly snapped, stunning everyone. "I...I have to go!", he said sharply. Turning on his heels,he briskly stomped away, leaving the group in shocked silence. "Tenchi?", Sasami said, as he left. "Tenchi?", the others asked. "What just happened?", a confused Ryoko asked. "Tenchi! We weren't making fun of you!", Ayeka stood and called after him. "Honest!" They looked around at one another. "Did I say something wrong?", Mihoshi asked. "Tenchi?", Ryoko called, getting up to go after him. ********************* With the devil's own timing, a bedraggled Washu timidly opened the door to her lab. Only to find an angry Tenchi bearing down on her. She stepped out, catching his attention. But upon seeing Washu, he changed direction and quickened his pace in an attempt to avoid her. Washu stepped out in front of Tenchi, stopping him. "Tenchi?", she said, holding him by his arms. "We should talk." He turned his head away, not looking at her. "What's there to talk about, Washu?", he said, icily. Washu hurried on, seeing Ryoko coming from the far room. "About...last night?", she said, quietly. His head snapped around, as he fixed her with withering stare. "What, you mean about how you seduced me?", he rasped. "I thought you were different, Washu. I won't make that mistake again!" She back away as if she'd been slapped, but he wasn't finished with her yet. He stalked forward. "I didn't realize you'd just been waiting for the chance to do a little personal 'Experimentation' with your 'Guinea pig'! ", he whispered venomously. "Write a paper on it, maybe you'll be able to get it published!" His voice was starting to crack. "Tenchi!", she cried, shocked tears streaming down her face. "Tenchi, I never..." But he pushed past her, heading for the front door. Ryoko arrived just in time to see a hysterical Washu bolt into her lab, and a storming Tenchi slam the front door. "Washu?", Ryoko called, looking back and forth. "Tenchi?" She tried the door to Washu's lab, but it was locked up tight. She knocked, but there was no answer. 'What the hell's going on around here!', she worried. ********************** "Tenchi?, Tenchi!", He could hear Ryoko and Ayeka calling in the distance. His legs pumped, quickly putting distance between himself and his house. Up the shrine stairs he ran, and off into the woods. Finally stopping when a stitch in his side made it impossible to continue. Trembling, gasping for breath, he stood doubled over, hands on his knees. A clammy sweat clung to him. He thought he was going to be sick. Why had he said those horrible things? He knew in his heart he didn't believe what he had said to her. Washu hadn't deserved that. He angrily drew a sleeve across his brow and began to walk, aimlessly. He knew he was at least as responsible for this as Washu was. He supposed that something had been bound to happen sooner or later. But he had never expected anything like this. Washu?!? He never even suspected she had any interest in him beyond her curiosity about his powers. Sure, she sometimes flirted with him just like the girls, and there was that 'testing' incident in the lab, but he thought she did those thing more to get Ryoko's and Ayeka's goats than for any other reason. Was it really possible that she'd been hiding deeper feelings for him? He wasn't sure how to feel about it all. He'd gone from famine to feast. From a high school geek who had never even been on a date before, to living in a house full of beautiful exotic woman. This typical teenage fantasy had turned out to be more like a nightmare, when they had turned their attentions to him. Now, all that attention he got made him feel uneasy, to say the least. Gone were the quiet days he used to have, gone was his privacy, and as he realized early on, gone were any real possibilities for romance. After he had gotten over the shock of the whole situation, and really got to know the girls, he had discovered just how much he liked each of them. They were each unique in so many ways. He couldn't imagine life without them now. They were his friends, more friends than he had ever had in his entire life. He wasn't a fool, he knew Ayeka and Ryoko definitely wanted more, probably Mihoshi as well. He had thought about the possibilities, who wouldn't? It always came down to, choosing one of the girls and crushing the others, or keeping things the way they were and dealing with the consequences. He gotten pretty good at ignoring all the flirting, the thinly veiled innuendoes (extremely thinly veiled in Ryoko's case), the bickering and the constant 'one-upsmanship', Ryoko and Ayeka engaged in. He had made a decision, and he was prepared to deal with the consequences of it. If he wanted them all to stay, he was going to have to live with it. 'What do they see in me?, he wondered, not for the first time. 'Do I give off some strange pheromone that alien woman find irresistible?' At least there was Sasami, the kid sister he never had. Life around here wouldn't have been nearly as tolerable without her constant good humor. And Mihoshi, who was good natured to a fault, so completely guileless. If only she'd stop crashing into the lake, she be more of a joy to have around. And then there was Washu. Washu was an enigma. How else do you describe a twenty thousand year old woman who hides in the guise of a twelve year old girl? Her appearance was pretty convincing too, until she opened her mouth. Half the time you had to reach for the dictionary just to figure out what she was talking about. Plus she was Ryoko's Mother/Creator/Designer, however you wanted to describe it. Ryoko was definitely having trouble coming to grips with that. He could sympathize, many children are 'planned', but how many were planned on a computer? Washu never talked about how it all happened, how Ryoko had been captured by Kagato, or how she came to be imprisoned in his ship. In fact she rarely talked about herself at all. The time she ended up watching Taro, was the only time he'd ever learned anything really personal about Washu. He'd even seen the 'real' Washu that day. Under that childlike exterior was actually a very attractive adult woman. That had been a shock! Of course, she had made an awkward moment even more unnerving by immediately attempting to seduce him in the most ridiculous way. He chuckle to himself as he walked. In retrospect it was pretty funny really. Of course it had driven Ryoko and Ayeka nuts, which Washu had intended all along. She definitely had a bit of a sadistic streak, and she loved to bait the girls whenever she had the chance. Thinking back on it, he supposed that the memories, of the life she had lost, even all these years later, were still too painful to think about. So she had done something outrageous, something to hide the fact that she was fallible, and maybe more vulnerable that she would like to admit, even to herself. The wind whistling through the trees drew his attention to his surroundings. His wanderings had brought him to Funaho's glen. He stopped to study the ancient tree, sitting on it's island in the center of the pond. Wonder stories hung from cords wrapped around it's trunk. For centuries, sensing the power of this place, visitors to the shrine had come to hang their prayers and wishes in long chains from the tree, hoping that they would be answered. He had a couple wishes of his own he would have liked to add to the collection. Using the stepping stones he walked out to the little island. He ran his hand along the rough bark, looking up into the trees gnarled limbs. It was hard to imagine that this tree was once the heart of an interstellar spaceship. But he knew for a fact it was, Ayeka had once played back the ships memory for him. He had seen his grandfather and Ryoko battling not far from this very spot, long, long ago. He sighed. His life had gotten so strange. Things that a few years ago would have seemed completely ludicrous, now were common place. Flying aliens, trees that were really spaceships, swords of light, thousand year-olds who looked like kids, a cat/rabbit/spaceship that had a thing for carrots, lighthawk wings, galactic empires, and there was more just around the corner he was sure. He sat down on one of Funaho's knobby roots and looked out across the glade. It was so peaceful here, so far from civilization. All that could be heard was the wind and calling of the birds. Isolated. That was how he felt, isolated. There wasn't even anyone outside of the household he could talk to about his problems. Even if he could find someone to listen they'd probably think he was crazy, he knew he would. He was trapped in his own strange little world, and it had just gotten even stranger. ************************************ The door to Washu lab opened quietly. Washu emerged, puffy eyed, but determined. She knew what she had to do. Thankfully, there didn't appear to be anyone around. She headed off towards the kitchen. "Washu?", It was Ryoko, she'd been waiting for her. "'Mom'?", she said, materializing in front of her. Washu looked into her daughter's face. She saw a mixture of worry and suspicion. "Mom... what's wrong with Tenchi?", she said quietly, but power was seething just below the surface. "You know...don't you?" Washu returned her gaze unblinking, as Ryoko searched her face for answers. "Yes.", she replied. A tense moment passed as they stood motionlessly regarding one another. Ryoko waited with growing impatience for her to elaborate. "You're going to tell me about it, aren't you?", Ryoko said, her face expressionless, her voice deadly serious. It was a command, not a request. Washu calmly looked her in the eyes. "No. I'm not." Their eyes locked, and every muscle in Ryoko's body seemed to bulge as she tensed. Had she been anyone else Washu was sure she'd have been dead by now. Ryoko glared at her, her eyes yellow slits of fire. "You WILL tell me! Now!", she hissed through her teeth, looming over Washu, her fists clenched at her sides, an aura of energy crackling about her. "No Ryoko, I can't, and I won't.", she replied sincerely, her face placid. Tears of frustration in her eyes, it was all Ryoko could do to keep from destroying the woman in front of her. Something had happened, she'd done something to Tenchi, something with Tenchi, she knew it, without a doubt. She wanted to hit her, to throttle the answer out of her. She wanted to know...but she didn't. Washu just stood there, serenely waiting for her fate to be decided. Looking up at her with that expression in her eyes, an expression so foreign to Ryoko, one she hated seeing in those eyes. Love. This woman/child before her, the one who claimed to be her mother. A mother she'd never known. One she had long ago decided she never had, and didn't need. Love she didn't need, and never wanted. ******************************** All those centuries spent with Kagato ravaging the galaxy as his favorite weapon. She done such horrible things, things she didn't like to remember, but couldn't forget. It didn't matter if she had been under Kagato's control, she had done those things with her own hands. How do you forget the expression in the eyes of a person you've just killed with your bare hands, their last gasp of surprise as death took them. Those eyes would haunt her forever. It had been easier to think of herself as just another machine, like any on the ship. Just another weapon to be wielded, then sheathed when the battle was finished. That was how Kagato treated her, and she began to think of herself that way as well. It was the only way she could survive, to believe that she emotionless, that she wasn't...human. Then came Kagato's ill fated attack on Jurai and her battle with Yosho. He'd defeated her...or had she allowed herself to be beaten? But she hadn't died. He'd stripped the gems from her, leaving her powerless and imprisoned in that cave. Those long years spend in that cave, aware but helpless, with nothing but her horrible memories to keep her company. It had been much worse than death. Sometimes she would pray for death, but her body wouldn't let that happen. She could live forever like that, desiccated, a husk, she realized. She didn't need food, water, or even air to survive. And she had a whole eternity of existence like that to look forward to. During her darkest moments, she thought that perhaps this was a just punishment for the wrongs she had done. Her own private hell, where she suffered, for all of those eyes, those accusing eyes she remembered so vividly. Then one wonderful day she discovered that she had the ability to project herself, her consciousness, outside of her prison. That there even was an 'outside' was a relief, after years she had begun to loose touch with what was real. She had begun to doubt her own memories, perhaps she had always been here, perhaps this silence and darkness was all her universe consisted of. But there was a world out there after all. She couldn't project herself very far. She would sit outside the cave watching the seasons change, imagining the feel of the sun on her face, the warm earth beneath her feet. It was not much, but it was infinitely better than the never ending darkness. Occasionally, people would come to leave prayers at the cave or just to gawk, to see the place where the 'demon' was buried. She would try to catch their attention, but they couldn't see her. She grew desperately lonely, and despaired once again of her existence as a ghost, impotent. Until one day, a woman with a child passed by. To her surprise, he seemed to see her. Definitely, he even waved his little hand at her! It was then that she knew it would be all right, that there was hope. Years later she saw what she thought must be the same boy, but sadly he could no longer see her. He would come with the summer sun, she would see him traipsing through the woods, he often came to the cave, gazing up at the rockface, peering through the locked gates at the cave's mouth. Sometimes she thought that, even though he couldn't see her, perhaps he could sense her presence. For whatever reason, he chose the cave as his 'homebase'. Ryoko had no memories of childhood at all. She wasn't even sure she had ever even been a child, and she'd never worked up the courage to ask Washu. But she got to experience childhood through the boy, who she had learned was called Tenchi. Tenchi was precocious little boy, fascinated by everything he saw. When he wasn't chasing bugs, he was collecting rocks, when he wasn't picking flowers, he was building forts. He was bundle of energy, in a tiny body. She would watch him with rapt attention, laughing with him at each new discovery, wincing every time he took a tumble, rooting him on every time he tried, hopelessly, to catch a squirrel. Summer would end and he'd be gone once again, but she would wait patiently for the next summer, and her little friend, to return. When he would come, he would stay with his grandparents, who took care of the shrine and the surrounding land. One dark day a devastated Tenchi had come to the cave crying hysterically. His grandmother had died. She wanted to comfort the boy, but she was just a specter, he couldn't even feel her touch. She would have done anything to make it stop hurting for him, anything. But all she could do was sit and watch over him. Then something strange happened, something she'd never experienced before. She found that she was feeling his pain, his sorrow, for a woman she'd never even known. Just because Tenchi had loved her, because she loved him. Even if she couldn't see them, see could feel them, tears. Tears rolling down desiccated cheeks, deep in the earth, tears for his pain, tears for Tenchi. Year after year he came, and each year he was a little taller, a little handsomer, and ever year she saw little less of him. His days were spent mostly helping his grandfather, taking care of the shrine's grounds. He would occasionally stop by the cave from time to time, though now mainly to clean the area around it, his carefree days of playing long gone. But sometimes she would catch him, standing quietly, contemplating the cave. Reliving memories of days gone by? Perhaps remembering a presence he felt, vague memories of a woman he had once seen long ago, perhaps looking for her? How often would his eyes fall on her, kindling a spark of hope. Did his gaze linger longer than before, did he meet her eyes, was that a change in his expression? Maybe this time he would see her, this time he could feel her. Maybe this time against all odds, he would throw down his rake, a smile lighting his face. He would run to her and sweep her up in his arms, hold her tight and say, "There you are! I've been looking for you for years!". And they would laugh, and they would cry, together. She would tell him how much he had taught her, much he meant to her, how much she...loved him. But it would never happened. There wasn't anything for him to hold in his arms. His gaze would just move on, unaware that she was even there. Perhaps one day he would leave, never to return. It was a thought too painful to bear. Then one summer day the impossible happened. She had seen him running excitedly up to the cave, right up to the gate. He had the keys, he open the gate! Somehow her prayers had been answered, he had come to rescue her! He removed the sword, freeing her. He was coming for her. 'Oops, he tripped. Oh, I hope he's OK. He's here, he's right here.' With every ounce of strength she had, she willed muscles atrophied for hundreds of year to work. It was all she could do to reach out with her hand, to touch him, to hold him, to speak to him. But her voice wouldn't come, and he was screaming, pulling away! She held him, she tried to speak, to say, "It's me! Don't you recognize me?", but all that came out was a horrible moan. He was fighting, a look of horror on his face. Something flared, it burned her eyes, it burned her arm. It was the sword, Yosho's sword, and it worked for him. How was that possible? Unless, unless he was Juraian, part of the royal family! It was the cosmic joke to end all cosmic jokes! He must be the child of one of her jailers, sent to keep watch over her cell. Didn't he say something about the legend? He hadn't even know she really existed, he hadn't even known she was here. He was running from her, back up the sloping corridor. Rage filled her, she'd been tricked, duped! They'd done this to her. He'd done this to her, toyed with her. She would show them that she was no one's plaything! She'd had every intention of killing him, when she'd arrived at the school that night and found him asleep on the roof. She stood looking down at him, energy sword in her hand, ready to strike, but something stopped her. The anger faded, and then was gone. Try as she might, she couldn't summon it up again. She sat for hours watching him sleep, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. All she felt was a sense of peace. Maybe he was innocent in this whole situation, it wasn't really his fault. She was the one who had built the fantasy, he had no part in that, and he had given her so much, even if he hadn't known it. She still felt for him, a part of her still loved him, maybe. But that wasn't going to stop her from teaching him a little lesson when he woke up. He was going to learn just who he was dealing with. It was her turn to do a little toying of her own! ********************************* "That's no way to talk to your mother, Ryoko." 'Mother?' She was in the belly of Kagato's ship once more. A child was speaking to her, she knew her, knew her thoughts! This girl said she was her mother! It was crazy, how was that possible. But she knew her, the girl could pick out her thoughts, just like she could do with Ryo-Ohki. There wasn't time to think about it, Tenchi was in danger, she had to get back. "Could you please call me Mom?" There was more than met the eye with this girl. Ryoko sat in Ryo-Ohki's bridge, returning to Earth after they'd defeated Kagato. Everybody was ecstatic at Tenchi's victory in the battle. Ecstatic at just making it out alive, for that matter. Kagato was dead. She was truly free now. Ryoko studied her new 'Mom'. She said she'd been Kagato's prisoner for five thousand years, she claimed to be the number one scientist in the universe (Well, she's got some spunk, she'll give her that). Her claim of being the mother of Ryoko rocked everyone as much as it rocked her. 'Shouldn't I remember her?', she thought. 'How could anyone forget their mother?' How should she feel? Angry? 'Why did you leave me? Why didn't you rescue me? Do you have any idea what I went through? How could you let it happen? I don't need you!' Happy? 'If I can believe her, I have a mother, even if she is a little odd. I'm not a 'thing', I'm not a 'monster'. She wants me, she wants to be my mother. She loves me without even knowing me.' Scared? 'It's too late, the damage has already been done. What does she really want? How can I allow myself care for her? What if she leaves? I'll just be hurt again, I won't let myself get hurt again.' Never again! *********************************** Her moment of contemplation had passed in an instant. She looked down at the little woman in front of her, the anger was gone, replaced by a different emotion. Washu took a step forward, Ryoko had the uncontrollable urge to turn and run. But she couldn't move. The diminutive scientist wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. Ryoko stiffened, she struggled weakly, fighting the embrace. "Ryoko", she said, "You don't have to be afraid of me!" 'Afraid?', suddenly, she was afraid, but of what she didn't know. "Let go!", Ryoko squealed. "I would never intentionally do anything to come between you and Tenchi.", she said, her head resting against Ryoko's chest. Ryoko twisted feebly, pushing, but Washu clung to her with a strength that belied her small size. "I know I've failed you before, but you have to believe me Ryoko! You are the one thing in the universe that means anything to me, I would do anything for you!" "Stop! Let me go!", Ryoko cried weakly, her voice wavering. "I'll never let you go again!", said Washu fiercely, tears steaming down her face. "Never again!" "Don't you know that I love you most of all?", she said, squeezing her even tighter. "My daughter?". Ryoko went limp in her arms, she stopped struggling, standing as if in a trance. She looked down at the woman who clutched her as she cried. Tears welled in Ryoko's eyes. She fumbled with her arms not knowing what to do with them. Tentatively she encircled Washu, she held her delicately in her arms at first, as if afraid she would hurt her, then more fiercely. Tears streamed down her face as she stroked her hair. She rested her head on Washu's, closing her eyes, she held her tight. "Mom.", she cried, and for the fist time in her life it actually meant something. "Ryoko!", Washu cried in response, her hands stroking her back. Sobbing they held one another. After centuries apart, mother and daughter, together. ************************************ "Ryoko? Has Tenchi...", a voice began. Ayeka, Sasami, Mihoshi, and Ryo-Ohki were returning, they'd had no luck locating the missing Tenchi. The sight of Ryoko and Washu locked in a rather intimate looking embrace stopped them in their tracks. "Ah...hello...?", Ayeka waved a hand, trying to get their attention, understandably confused. "Washu?", Sasami asked. "Ryoko?" "Eh-hem", Ayeka cleared her throat, but the two women were oblivious. "EH-HEM!", she tried again, with a little less subtlety this time. But this was no more successful that the previous attempt. "Miya!", A bright smile lit Ryo-Ohki's face as she toddled over to the pair and threw her arms around their knees. "RYOKO!, MISS WASHU!", she finally yelled, at not quite the top of her lungs. Startled, both of them jumped, spinning around to face their previously unnoticed audience, and nearly knocking over an equally startled Ryo-Ohki in the process. Both immediately turned a bright red. "Perhaps the two of you should get a room somewhere?", Ayeka said, perturbed. "One with a little more privacy?" "AYEKA!!", Washu and Ryoko said in chorus, annoyed. A glance passed between the two of them as they broke into a fit of embarrassed laughter. "What's going on?", Sasami asked, confused. "Oh, we were just having a little mother, daughter chat. That's all.", Washu said, wiping her eyes. "Huh?", they all said, dumbfounded. "Where have you been? What about Tenchi?", Ayeka asked, "We're supposed to be looking for Tenchi." "Don't you worry about Tenchi, I know where he is.", Washu said, to put their minds at ease. The group turned to look at her. "You do?", Ryoko asked, trying to composing herself. "How?",Ayeka wanted to know. "Just a little feminine intuition,", she said, with a wave of her hand, drawing blank stares. "...And room full of scanning equipment!", she added, smiling sweetly, eliciting a couple of groans. "You girls just leave Tenchi to me, I'll 'bring him back alive'.", she earnestly. "Leave Tenchi to you?", said Ayeka, irritated. "But...?", Mihoshi asked. "You're going to have to trust me on this.", she said to everyone, but she was looking at Ryoko. Ryoko stood for a moment, eyes downcast, her expression unreadable. Looking up, she met Washu's gaze. Nodding slightly, a small smile played across her lips. Ryoko slowly drifted upwards through the beams, before phasing out of sight. The girls stood in surprise for an instant. "B-b-but...", Ayeka stammered, more than a little stunned. Washu craned her neck to look past her. "Sasami? Could you help me in the kitchen for a minute?", Washu asked, ignoring Ayeka's protests for the moment. "Sure Washu, what do you need?", she asked as they walked off together, with Ryo-Ohki in tow. Leaving a confused Mihoshi, and a fuming Ayeka, behind. "Well, I figure Tenchi's going to be hungry. Not having eaten since yesterday and all. I haven't had anything to eat today myself, for that matter. I though it might be nice if I took along something for a picnic.", she explained. "Oh. Ok, what would you like?", Sasami asked. "Something simple's fine, you don't have to go to a lot of trouble. Maybe some leftovers?" "I know! I put the breakfast I made this morning in the refrigerator. No one was around to eat it...", Sasami said as they left the room, their voices fading away. Ayeka and Mihoshi turned from the doorway to look at one another. "M-M-MISS WASHU!", Ayeka called, as she spun and stomped off in pursuit of them. ********************************** A stone skipped across the waters of Funaho's pond, striking the surface once, twice and then a third time before it skittered to a stop and sank into the depths. The skipping stone sent out circular ripples. Each growing larger until they met and rebounded from one another, the formerly placid surface was soon filled with ripples. Action and reaction. Tenchi sat under Funaho's leafy eaves, perched atop a protruding root, absently searching for another stone. His minded wander as he went about his search. His first time. Wasn't that what guys at school had bragged about? Sex. Wasn't that what they talked about endlessly? Wasn't that what he used to dream about, more times, and to the detriment of more sets of sheets, than he'd care to remember? He should feel...what? Happy? Proud of himself? Seeing himself reflected in the pond, his first thought was, "Extremely lucky"! The face staring back at him from the water didn't seem any different. Wasn't he supposed to feel different now? Wasn't he supposed to feel like, a "MAN" ? He reared back and let fly with yet another stone, this one skipped and kept going until it skipped itself right out of the pond. All he felt was ashamed. It was as if he'd failed. He knew it was foolish, but he felt as though he was marked. As if it was printed on his forehead in glowing characters for everyone to read. 'I did it! I've been telling you all I wasn't going to, but I when ahead and did it anyway. And with Washu, your mother Ryoko! The one who looks like a twelve year old! How about that, huh?... Now where's Sasami at?' Great! Now he felt like a pervert too! He knew Washu wasn't 'really' a little girl, but... What the hell had been thinking? Of course he knew. He'd been thinking about the 'Big' Washu he had seen once before. Ever since that day he'd looked for her, hiding behind 'Little' Washu's delicate features. He'd been intrigued, he had to admit. Not that he'd ever seriously considered about doing anything about it, but the seed of curiosity had been planted. Last night all the pieces just fallen into place. His recollection was kind of hazy, but he remember it well enough. They'd both been laughing at the ridiculousness of their whole situation. Then suddenly he had been kissing her. Just that fast. There'd just been something about the sparkle in her emerald eyes, the fall of her hair, about her closeness. He had reached up and pulled her down to him. He'd pressed his lips to her's and to his surprise she had responded, with a passion that he, even in his inebriated state, hadn't expected. Well, he couldn't have chosen better picking a lover. Apparently you can learn quite a lot about the art of love in ten thousand years. She'd done things, he only heard rumors of. She showed him things, they probably don't have names for. If he hadn't been drunk he probably would have ran like hell. But she'd been a very patient and attentive lover. He felt a blush coming over him at the thought of it. He sighed. How could he face her? He had made love with her, but he wasn't "in love" her. At least he didn't think so. And then when he'd been embarrassed he'd lashed out at her, as if it was her fault. It was unforgivable of him to have acted so childish. The hole he had dug for himself was so deep, he didn't know how to even begin to get out of it. At least the other girls didn't know about it. He hoped they didn't anyway. After causing that stupid scene at lunch, someone might start to suspect, he supposed. He didn't even want to think about the possibility of this secret coming to light. Angrily, he heaved his newest projectile, which sailed out as he watched, and landed with a splash. A figure at the edge of the glade caught his attention. Washu stood quietly on the far shore holding a basket. He had known she would come eventually. Resigned, he continued in his search for the perfect skipping stone. Washu trekked her way around the pond to the stepping stones, keeping a curious eye on Tenchi, until at last she stood before him. "Tenchi", she said, as she came to a stop. "Sasami's fixed us something to eat.", indicating the basket. Not waiting for an answer, she set it down and went about the business of spreading out a blanket. Tenchi stole curious glances of her as she laid out the picnic, trying not to appear as nervous as he felt. "Come, sit down.", she said, taking a seat herself, on the edge of the blanket and setting out the dishes. Dejected, he ignored her offer. "Come on, I know you must be hungry. You haven't eaten since dinner last night.", she coaxed. "Just look at this nice lunch Sasami packed for us." He glanced over for a second before returning to his efforts, pretending to be disinterested. But his stomach had the last word, letting loose with a truly impressive growl. Which drew a small smile from Washu. "Come on, Tenchi.", she said, with a chuckle. Resistance was futile. He got up and walked the few paces to the blanket and sat down. Still smiling, Washu handed him a pair of chop sticks, and began to serve. He'd been so preoccupied he hadn't realized how hungry he was. Now, the sight of food in front of him pushed all other matters out of mind. He was practically drooling on himself. The second Washu placed a bowl of rice in front of him, he began devouring it, and anything else that came into his reach. Washu, across from him, looked on bemused. Interrupting her meal occasionally to remove an empty dish, replacing it with a fresh one. Washu, finishing before Tenchi, leaned back, her arms out behind her. She closed her eyes and turned to face the light breeze that blew through Funaho's glade, letting it play over her. She breathed deeply the scent of the woods, and after a few moments she began to speak. "Are you still angry with me?", she asked, glancing at him. He paused, not look up. "No.", he said, with a small shake of his head. She watched as returned to eating. "Maybe you should be.", she said, looking away, a frown on her face. He stopped to look at her. "Some of those things you said, might not have been so far from the truth.", she said sadly. "I thought I knew myself, but now I'm not so sure.", she looked him eyes. Her expression filled with regret. "I never would have thought I'd be capable of taking advantage of you like that. I was wrong. I'm sorry." Tenchi had seemed about to protest, but Washu continued. "Before you try to tell me it was all your fault. I should tell you, I never do anything without a reason, even if it is subconscious. I don't recall consciously wanting to sleep with you, I don't think you're really my type, but. I didn't put up much of a resistance did I?", she said with a small smile at her own expense. Tenchi sat quietly, not wanting to interrupt. He had never heard Washu so forthcoming before. "I'm not such a pushover that I can be dragged into the sack by just anyone. Somewhere deep down inside, a part of me had to want it.", she told him candidly. "But there's no part of me that would ever want to hurt you, Tenchi.", she said, earnestly, her eyes glistening. "I'm sorry if I did." "Washu...", he said, reassuringly. "And how could I do this to Ryoko and Ayeka? You mean everything to them, and one of these days I know you'll discover just how much one of them means to you.", she said, wiping away a few stray tears. "I could have ruined everything, by being so selfish, so stupid." "Washu...stop.", he said, pained. "Stop beating yourself up." "What I said back at the house was wrong. I don't blame you for what happened.", he said, seriously. He took a deep breath, and a moment to collect his thoughts. "No one's every accused me of being too bright,", he said with a self deprecating smile. "Tenchi.", she said dismissively. "But I think I know what my strongest qualities are. My pigheaded stubbornness, and my loyalty.", he nodded to himself. "Once I make a decision, I stick by it. Whether it's the right one or not. Come hell or high water.", he continued. "My stubbornness has gotten me in to trouble before, and it probably will again." "But, you can always trust my word." "We never would have met, none of this would have happened.", he swept an arm around. "If it wasn't for my stubborn curiosity to see just what actually was in the cave shrine." "I never would have known any of you.", he said, sadly. "I can't imagine life without you guys now." He paused, lost in thought for a second. "Those thing I said to you in the house, I didn't mean them.", he said as he continued, his expression pained. "I violated the principles I'd set for myself, that I'd stubbornly held for so long. I was angry at myself, but I took it out on you. It was a cowardly thing to do. Instead of facing the situation, dealing with it, I ran. And I lashed out at you. That what hurts the most, what I did to you." "I'm sorry Washu.", he said as he finished, his eyes downcast. She smiled. "You've forgotten the greatest strength you possess, the one that draws the girls to you, your compassion.", she said. "It's a rarer trait than you might think." She paused. "Tenchi, there is a simple way that this could all be resolved you know.", she said, quietly. "If you want...I could just erase your memory. If it's too much for you." She knew it was wrong, but she had to offer. He sat motionless, his eyes on the bowl he still clutched in his hand. "It would be very simple, you wouldn't remember anything.", she promised solemnly. He paused considering the offer, minutes passed, she watched him waiting patiently. "No.", he said finally, setting down the dish he'd been holding. He look into her eyes steadily. "I want to remember.", he said, as the briefest of smiles passed his lips. "It's an experience I'll treasure, one I don't ever want to forget." He seemed about to say more, but simply stopped. He looked away, off into the distance. Washu followed his gaze, as they sat watching the sun sinking behind the trees. "I'm sorry...", he began. "I'm sorry I acted like such an ass." "That's okay, I should have acted with a little more sense.", she said with a wry smile. "I'm supposed to be a genius you know. That's what it says on my business card." He smile at that. "For what it's worth", she said after a moment, looking over at him. "Thank you, Tenchi." "Huh?", he said, turning to her, puzzled. "It'd been a long time since...", she turned back, looking off into the setting sun. "Since, I'd been with a man.", she finished quietly, a far away expression in her eye. Tenchi watched her curiously. Her eyes glistening in the fading light. "It was...fun.", she said, shooting him a glance. Laughing a bit, as a tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped the tear away, laughing at her own foolishness. Tenchi smiled back warmly. "But I don't think it's something we should try again.", she faced him, her smile fading. Tenchi gazed back, he nodded understandingly. "No regrets?", she asked him. He shook his head. He smiled. They sat back, quietly watching as the dusk settled. Listening to the rustle of the leaves as a breeze blew across the pond. Crickets began to chorus as the shadows lengthened. Sighing, Washu stood up, stretching. "I guess we should be getting back, the girls will be getting worried.", she said, beginning to pack up the dishes. Tenchi stood as he folded the blanket, placing it in the basket with the dishes. Standing there, they took one last look around the Funaho's glade, until they found themselves facing one another. Washu put her basket down and stepped up to him, hugging him. Tenchi bent down, quietly they held each other for a moment. "Let's go home, Tenchi.", she said. ************************ They left the glade together walking up the path that lead towards the house. "I was kind of worried about you, Tenchi. But I think you'll be all right", she said. "Besides there are so many eligible girls running around here, one of them's bound to take pity on you sooner or later", she said, facetiously. "Speaking of which, have you met my daughter, Ryoko?" "No, what's she like?", he said, playing along. "Oh, she the sweetest girl, with a sunny disposition. She a little shy though, but once you get to know her she really opens up." "She sounds fascinating." "She's just like her Mom.", she said, quietly. They walked on in silence as night fell over the valley. Questions? Comments? Angry Rants? Contact: ocristiii@aol.com