Traditional disclaimer and shameless self-promo:
TM! characters are owned by Pioneer and AIC.  I will put them back in the same 
condition that I found them, more or less.  These are the OAV characters.
Weaselton and its inhabitants are MINE!  MIIINE!  Ask nicely before taking them
Mail comments, questions, proposals, but not flames to 
scullythevampire@notme.com.
This is my first fic. Be nice.
Want more fanfic action, along with fanart, hundreds of cyberpets, the Cavalcade 
of Whimsy, an imaginary band, and Ryoko's Happy Cave?  
Head to http://scullythevampire.tripod.com! Bring the whole family!
IMPORTANT PLOT BIT:  Speech enclosed in brackets: "<Can you speak English?>" is 
in English.  It is assumed that the Tenchi Muyo characters speak in Japanese.
All books, movies, cartoons, and manga mentioned in this fic are real. 
Now, on with the story....

                             ~NO NEED FOR A VACATION!~
		part I: Departure, Arrival
	by Jill "Ain't Got No Cosmic Death-Weapon" Christian.

	"You've got to be insane," the blue-haired woman muttered.  "Nobody in 
their right mind would even think of using mom's machine for something like 
that."
	The violet-haired woman next to her tugged at her kimono and struggled to 
look prim.  "Frankly Otousan, I think it's a wonderful idea.  We all do need a 
vacation."
	Noboyuki nodded sagely, and pulled out a diagnostic Washu had printed for 
him.	"Now," he said, "it appears we can't take that much with us, so we'll have 
to be frugal."
	"Really?" said Tenchi.  "I hope that won't be much of a problem..."  he 
said with a quiet grin to the alien females.  " "Hear that?" Ryoko hissed to 
Aeka.  "You can't pack twelve suitcases full of formal outerwear."
	"Oh, really?" the violet-haired princess countered.  "I was wondering 
whether this alternate universe contains sake, you disgusting lou--"  She was 
cut off by Sasami's loud 'sssh!'(Aeka and Ryoko don't generally lash out at each 
other unless Tenchi is to gain. So if you had Tenchi bring up the vacation bit, 
it would give Ryoko and Aeka more of a reason to suddenly get violent-VID)
	"Can't you two stop fighting?"(Sasami doesnt generally get into these 
things-VID) the little blue-haired girl asked plaintively, her big, cute, pink 
eyes wide and on the verge of filling with tears.  Aeka muttered something and 
folded her arms.  Ryoko huffed and turned to Tenchi, who looked away with a 
blush.
	"As I was saying," Noboyuki continued, "we can only take about 1800 cubic 
inches worth of stuff each--"  He was interrupted again by a barrage of 
complaints.
	"1800 CUBIC INCHES?"  Ryoko roared.
	After some deft mental calculations, Aeka, her right eye twitching, asked 
"Isn't that about the size of a BACKPACK?"
	"I assume they'll take yen.  Please tell me they take yen, Dad..."  Tenchi 
said with a groan.
	"Daddy, will Ryo-Ohki be able to come?"
	"Can I stuff WASHU in my BACKPACK?"  Ryoko growled.
	The physically twelve-year-old Genius Scientist poked her head out of her 
SubSpace laboratory's door, grinning manaically. "What's that,  Ryoko-chan?"  
The cyan-haired woman shut her mouth and looked worriedly at her mother.  
"Getting all excited about our vacation?"  Ryoko nodded silently, hoping Washu 
would fall for it.  Aeka snickered behind a hand. 
	"And are we getting angry about only being able to take 1800 cubic inches 
of luggage?"  The oni-woman face-faulted.  "Don't worry dear, it's not as bad as 
all that.  We can buy clothes and what-not at our destination."
	"Ah, excuse me, Washu-san?"  Aeka asked.  
	"Chan," Washu reflexively corrected.
	"....Whatever.  Where exactly *are* we going?"
	"That's a very good question, Aeka-san.  Because of the nature of my most 
recent invention...."  Washu began, slipping into the pedantic tone the Masaki 
household defined as Washuspeak.  Several minutes after their eyes had unglazed, 
Washu was still talking.  "....so basically, I have no clue where we're headed!"
	
	The group face-faulted, but Washu continued onward.  Her ego was 
admirable.  "Now, don't you get your knickers in a twist!  To paraphrase an old 
saying: wherever we go, there we'll be.  Have more faith in my fantastic 
invention!  It won't take us anywhere dangerous -- into stars, black holes, New 
Jersey..."  The joke passed unnoticed.  "...but that still leaves two problems: 
money and communications.  Now, money's a simple thing," said Washu, "as this 
planet's new global economy makes it so moneychanging should be easy.  If we're 
headed off-planet, I convinced Ryoko-chan to pilfer some money for us, using a 
..er...aaah...bargaining  chip."  Ryoko fumed silently, muttering something that 
sounded like 'damned home movie.'  In a more calm situation, the others would 
have worried.  "Communications, however, will NOT
be easy. All of us speak Galaxy Standard and Japanese, and a few of us know more 
estoteric languages, but if we go anywhere on THIS backwater planet, we must 
rely on..." The redheaded scientist paused dramatically.  
	"THIS!"  she shouted, pulling out a travel phrasebook.
	Again, the group face-faulted.  Sasami took the initiative and yoinked the 
book
out of Washu's hand.  Flipping through it, the oh-so kawaii princess's eyebrows 
knitted.  "Um,
Washu-san?  This doesn't look very helpful..."  She opened to a page and showed 
it to her
sister, who scratched her head.  Ryoko leaned over, read a few lines, and turned 
indignantly
to her mother.
	"Waaashu...is this some kind of  a prank?  This couldn't possibly be 
useful."  She 
grabbed the blank-paged book and waved it around, her expression teetering 
between annoyance and utter outrage.  Washu reached for the book and Ryoko 
stood, using her height
as an advantage.  "Now now.. no book until you explain what the hell you mean by 
giving us 
a blank phrasebook!  It's stupid!  It's pointless!  It--owww!"  She sat down 
slowly, rubbing her shin.  "You suck as an example, KAA-SAN.."  Ignoring her 
daughter's complaints, Washu snatched the phrasebook from Ryoko and looked it 
over for damage.
	Finding none, Washu opened it and placed one index finger on the page and 
grinned.  "Within this book, I have downloaded every Earth language still 
extant!  How do you
unLOCK the enormous potential this book contains?  Simple!  Place an index 
finger on the book's page, say what language you are translating from, the 
language we wish to translate to, 
and the word or phrase!  In addition to that, your resident live-in genius has 
provided it with a microphone that allows it to translate from sound in a given 
language into the language you understand!"  She grinned and clutched the book 
to her chest.  "I'm so brilliant it frightens me sometimes!"  The group 
assembled on the couch rolled their eyes.  The pointy-haired scientist 
harrumphed, and they made a noble attempt to look serious.  "Really, you should 
have more respect for someone who worked her little fingers to the bone to 
provide you knuckleheads with a vacation.  Seriously!  Some people.."  Washu 
spun on one diminutive heel and walked off to her lab.  "Get some money and 
...whatever together and meet me in the lab in fifteen minutes!"  She shouted 
over one shoulder.
	About ten minutes later, Tenchi, Ryoko, Aeka, Sasami, and Noboyuki filed 
down the stairs holding various bags, backpacks, and magical log containers.  
Yousho had declined the vacation to stay and work at the shrine.  Tenchi 
suspected he knew something the rest of them didn't, but had stuffed that into 
the back of his mind.  As the group herded into SubSpace, Aeka's brow knitted.  
"Has anyone seen Mihoshi today?"
	"Actually, no," said Ryoko.  "She was going to give her report on how 
nothing's happening here to her superiors, so she'd flown off and...oh, 
right...she doesn't know about this vacation thing."  She shrugged.  "Her loss!"  
Aeka frowned at Ryoko, then turned her attention to Washu.  The juvenile genius 
was sitting atop a large and threatening-looking construct.
	"THIS!"  she said with great zeal, "is the incomparable TRAVEL-O-MATIC! 
With this machine, we may end up ANYwhere, with only our.."  she glanced at 
Ryoko, who was poking at a model of the Masu confusedly, "....rather limited 
wits, the yen in our pockets, and the clothes on our backs!  It's going to be 
fun."  She grinned and ushered the group in, then set the instrument panel with 
a few jabs at various buttons.  "Everyone in?  This is going to be a wild 
ride..!"

			              ~*~


	There was an unbelievably loud, gut-wrenching, eardrum-popping noise..

	There was a retina-burning flash of light....

	And then, they weren't there anymore.
	Several minutes later, Mihoshi blundered into the laboratory.  She picked 
up a note Washu had left, nodded sagely, and wandered out to catch today's 
episode of Galaxy Fralein Yuna.

	Meanwhile, Tenchi and the gang found themselves in a parking lot.  The 
parking lot was a fairly nice parking lot -- it seemed to be stuck into a 
forested area, and to their right was a touristy-looking shop.  To their left, 
they saw a covered wooden sky-bridge that said something that, as Ryoko said...
	"That sure isn't kanji."  She looked at Washu.  "Now, that wouldn't 
concern me...IF WE CAN TRANSLATE WHAT THE HELL IT MEANS!"  Washu looked at her 
daughter silently for a minute or so.  She then reached up and pinched Ryoko on 
one oversized ear.  "Ow!"  Ryoko said, rubbing her ear with a hurt look.  "What 
was that for?"
	"Don't yell at your mother, it's unbecoming Ryoko-chan."
>>CUT!

	(Where did these guys come from-VID)The two men were small and rather 
threatening.  Besides their differing haircuts-one of them wore dreadlocks, the 
other, a buzz-cut, they looked remarkably similar.  Perhaps it was the straggly 
and almost  identical goatees on their unwashed chins, or their hooded gazes 
that regarded the world with a mixture of contempt and fear.  At their belts 
were several guns, and one of those guns was currently pointed at Ryoko.
	"'ey..." one of the men drawled, a sneer playing across his features.  "We 
don't need any more freaks like you around here..."  He cocked the handgun.  His 
companion drew a submachine gun and pointed it at Washu.  Sasami's eyes were 
wide as she clutched her older sister's kimono.  No matter how many times you 
experienced it, the impending threat of death was damned frightening.
	"Yeah.."  The dreadlocked one said, jerking the submachine gun at Aeka.  
"We got enough monsters crawlin' round this joint.  We don't want another 
four(Only four? Is this a mistake in the number of party, or do ryoko washu 
sasami and aeka come off as aliens. In most places, they fit in as normal human 
beings-VID) I gon' join 'em."  
	Tenchi's eyes flickered between the two men with guns threatening his 
friends --family, really--and a very friendly-looking row of bushes to the 
right(need to clarify him jumping in these bushes-VID).  "It would be a good 
idea," he hissed, his lips barely moving, "to run away now."  Ryoko took the 
warning to heart and grabbed both Noboyuki and Washu, subsequently disappearing.  
The men opened fire on Aeka and Sasami.  Aeka reflexively threw up a shield of 
Jurai power - but too late.  A bullet had imbedded itself in her left shoulder.  
She shrieked in pain, clutching her injured shoulder, and Tenchi leapt from the 
bushes brandishing the Tenchiken.  
	As the man with a buzz-cut swiveled to aim at Tenchi, his companion didn't 
seem to notice Ryoko reappearing behind him with her own energy sword blazing.  
A swift swipe at the backs of his knees left him crippled, and Tenchi had held 
his own with the handgun man.  Slashing at his gun and causing it to shatter 
(typical hand guns dont tend to explode, but they do break-VID) impressively 
seemed to scare him off, and the two alternately ran and limped away.  Washu and 
Noboyuki exited from the women's bathroom (Noboyuki exhibited several slap marks 
on his face) and immediately ran to Aeka.  Her kimono was stained with red, and 
she gritted her teeth to keep from screaming.  She had fallen to her knees and 
was being supported by Ryoko and Sasami.
	"Please don't die,(I dont think sasami would find this situation that 
dire. sure the bullet would hurt, but Aeka has been through so much more-VID) 
Aeka-neechan," Sasami said, holding her older sister's arm.  "Please.  There's 
so much we have to do..."  
	Aeka's face softened.  "I'll be fine.."
	Washu looked at the wound, probing gently with one fingertip.  "Yes.. you 
will be fine.. but not if we leave you here to bleed to death.(shes only been 
shot in the arm. If you want to add more pain to Aeka and make the situation 
more dire, you should have her shot in the chest, or some where with a major 
aretery-VID)  Tenchi?"  She asked, looking up.
	"Yes?" He replied.
	"Go with Noboyuki.  Ask everyone you see for help while we do what we can 
here."   



END PART I

Japanese-O-Matic dictionary o' terms:
Otousan: really stiff term for 'Father'
-san: General suffix to a name {Mr. or Miss}
-chan: "Cute" suffix {'Little'}
'Kaasan: 'Mom'.
[Name]-neechan: 'Older sister [name]'.  Used with older friends you're 
particularly close to as well