Ok, this is going to be the first of many fan fic's I'm going to do with Tenchi Muyo, so, sit back and enjoy! Oh, and please tell me if I'm any good! No flames! why, you ask, well, read my intro, nuff said. -_- Garlic Jr.'s Intro -------------------- Garlic Jr. : This is the first time I'm writing on TM!FfA.com, and the first time I'm writing a fanfiction period, so, let me introduce my self, I haled from the Makyo star, my home and sorce of power, but now adays I hang around the Dead Zone, I'm known as Garlic Jr., but if your wondering about the man behind the mask, *Rips off face, showing off some skeleton*, well, you might also know me as B.C.P., those are my IRL initials, so the only way you could know me is if you know me IRL. And as such... Voice: Take it all off, WOO HOO!!! Garlic Jr. : Ahhhh, who are you!? Voice : I'm the guy in your head that makes you do silly things! Now, take it off! Garlic Jr. : Do I have too, Boss man? B.C.P. : Well, we are broke... Garlic Jr. : Man.... *dancing insues while striping, and every one gets happy* B.C.P. : Okay, my writers name is Garlic Jr. he's my favorite charecter, and I felt that we needed a "Party" to bust out and say, I'm gonna do some fanfiction, so, look for me in other sections, as I will jump around and do alot of fanfiction in many different sections. In my FF., I will try and make the Fan Fics as well developed and as well written as possible, if you want to MST please do so with permission and if you do, please keep the comments you make unofending to me, as I can flame with the best of them... Flamethrower guy from Starcraft : light em' up! B.C.P. : ...Yeah..., well, you get the picture, anyway, as you may or may not know, my E-mail is flooded with alot of junk, like porn, and get stuff free ad's due to some person I don't know using my e-mail address in all the wrong places, but don't feel to bad, he apolagized and said sorry, didn't know he was using the 51 instead of 41, hahahaha, awww man, .....it's not funny...! stop laughing I hear you!, and as such, don't email me, I can't respond, but I will read reviews, oh, do me a favor, tell me what angst is, as I hate looking things up, stupid pop up ads, giving me thier little carrots of information I didn't ask for... Ryo-oki : Meow??!! B.C.P. : What the!?, how'd you get out!? Ryo-oki : *cuddles against leg* B.C.P. : Get your cuteness off me, you damn, cute, rabbit, cat, um... thing! Ape : Stop stealing lines, you damn, dirty human! Human : Stop yelling, you damn, dirty ape! Mega Man Juno : Stop yelling, you damn, dirty carbon! Proto Man : *enters with whistling sounds and all* Just stop yelling, period! Piccolo : Arg!, Stop whistling, or I'm going to kill all of you! Lord Slug : Yeah! B.C.P. : Get out, this is just an introduction, no fanfiction has started yet, I'll call you all later, but until then, go to the dark reseses of my psi-ki, where you all belong! All : No! B.C.P. : Well that was, ...different... All : Now hurry up, or we'll go on strike! B.C.P. : Well, I'll write lemons, comedy, and well just about every thing, and even the dreaded Sasami lemon! (thwack!) Sasuka : That's what you get, coward! Gene Starwind : good going, Susuka! Asha : Or other wise known as Susu! Susuka : That's it, I quit! B.C.P. : But, urg..., you can't, um, I made you in my mind, your my version of Susuka, not the trade marked version, but the one I made in my mind... (Well you get the idea, she's my version of her self, I don't own her) (Thwack) (Fades out, fades in to a court room) Man : so, could you point to the man you claimed attacked you. Girl : Yes, it was all of them! Man : We know, but the man that affended you the most recently. Sasami : It was that man over there, sitting in that chair, the, the, Pervert! B.C.P. : Urg...., huh, what the, let go of me, hey! (fade out, fade in, padded cell room) B.C.P. : Well, I'll make all types of FF, even "those" types of lemons, due to the fact that different people read different things, and it would be self centered of us not to make some of "those" every once in a while, I like to keep my sights wide, and am ever looking foward and upward towards the future... Gaurd : here's your food... *walks in and spits on me* you perverted slime! B.C.P. Pig! Well, any way, right know I'm looking at 50 to life, so be patient, silence is golden, so don't spam waiting for my next fic. Pfil : That's right! *giggles* B.C.P. : God, just shot me, I am going insane... (a Giant A.C. busts in, B.C.P. jumps in the cockpit, that was magicly un-occupied at the moment and flies away) B.C.P. : But don't shoot me yet, I have Crome and Marakumo to destroy, and no one can laugh like Kefka can, so laugh with me Kefka! Kefka : Muhuhahaha! ~Fin~ Every thing is copy writed by someone so take it up with them if you steal it. Oh, by the way,my Email is now clear, it took 3 days but I opened it just for you, the reviewer, so email me at, Garlic51@hotmail.com Peace! -=-=- Welcome to The Twilight Zo...The Dead Zone!! By: Garlic Jr. Narrorator: A young man, dressed in a black students outfit, walks from his school's bus stop to where his house is, of coarse sometimes it isn't there due to some outside forces. And after such and exaustive day at school, he comes home, hoping that a certain person, with a certain clinging problem, would just stop tackling him, as he is very tired, and doesn't feel like being treated like a rag doll, by her ...loving... methods, but would rather just take a nap, in his lovely three story home, which his father made. But, didn't realize that when he entered his home on that sunny after noon, he was entering, The twilight, no, my bad, The Dead Zone! Tenchi: Hello, I'm home! (No answer came for his greeting, as they were ...busy... some where else. After climbing the stairs to his room, there were noises comeing from behind his door, but they were very quiet noises, so nothing too bad must have been happening, when he opened his door, he found all the girls, either laying or sitting on his bed, or on the floor, taking turns petting one, very happy cabbit.) Tenchi: Hi, what's going on up here anyway, why's every one in my room? (Ryoko looks up, sits up on the bed, barley noticing him, and says…) Ryoko: Oh, hi. (and continues petting Ryo-oki, as does every one else) Tenchi: Well…, I need the bed, I'm going to take a nap, o.k.? (All look up and say in unison…) All: No, Ryo-oki is sleeping here!!! Tenchi: Huh, did I say something wrong? (Sasami stands up, and darts at Tenchi, winding him with a left handed punch, then continues to push him down the stairs, and then draging him outside, walking back, and slaming the door behind her.) Tenchi: urg…, that was, …different… (Trying to make heads or tails of this new development, Tenchi decides to see if his father, Nobouki, or his grandpa could help him. After opening the shrine door, he is quickly thrown outside by his father) Tenchi: Ow, why did you do that dad?! N. Dad: Chibi's mine ya hear, go away! Tenchi: What's going on?! Dad?! Hello?! (No answer came, Tenchi then decided to go to his grandpa's ship, that was rooted there, and try and think things through. When Tenchi got there, he found Mihoshi arresting grandpa. Wondering what was happening, he decided to hide in the bushes and see what was going on. What he heard was not only scary, but just plain weird.) Mihoshi: Your under arrest for failing to uphold you contract to Pioneer! Stop making a scene! Yosho: My tree counts as a pet, like one of those plant pets those humans buy, what do they call them again?! Mihoshi: Too late, criminal! Tenchi: *What the…, Mabey I should try and look around the house for some old mail, mabey I forgot to read something that Pioneer sent us, must have been important!* (After nearly killing himself, going at helter skelter speeds down the shrine steps, he opens the door to his house and checks the mail pile in his dad's room) Tenchi: Junk…, bill…, bill…, naked pictures of all the girls , !!, these are, are, naked pictures of all the girls!! (With a bloodied nose, he slips the pictures half way into his pocket, when suddenly the pictures turn into dust) Tenchi: Aww, man! Well, that was all that was there, mabey someone in the house knows… Ryo-oki: (In a deep voice, think Vegeta's transformed oozaru voice from the Funimation english dub version) So, you wanted those pictures, huh, too bad they turned into dust! Tenchi: Yeah, I mean, y…yo…you…c…can talk, Ryo-oki! Ryo-oki: Well, here's all the porn you could want!! (pulls rope, and what was Tenchi is now a giant stack of Noboyuki's stash) Tenchi: (Muffled) Help! (The front door opens and closes and Mihoshi walks in to the room) Mihoshi: You don't have a pet ethier, well, I'll have to put you under arrest then too, sorry! And I'll also have to add charges for a minor looking at porn, you dirty, ecchi thing you! (Pulling him from his tomb of a man's paradise (@_-) and putting him in cuffs, she takes him outside and throws him into the back of her patrol ship with Yosho, where he's babbling about something or other, and then, the engines start pulling them away from planet Earth at a speed far surpassing any human space ship in a spectacular display that could only be accomplished with the computer's help. Having to know why, he finally asks…) Tenchi: Please, tell me, what's going on?!?! Mihoshi: Well, due to the fact that Ryo-oki is so popular, it is now illeagal for any of the cast not to have a pet, don't ask me, it's just the rule's from the higher ups. Tenchi: That's just as stupid as that law that people who have just gotten their licence after July can't have Non-family members in the car until they are eighteen! Mihoshi: I didn't understand that law either… Tenchi: Hey! Where's your pet!? Yukenojo: Right here! Mihoshi: (Giggling) I'm covered Tenchi, nice try! Tenchi: (Looking over at his grandpa) Are you okay? Yosho: That's it! Cha-cha-cha-chia! Chia-pets, ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Cha-cha-cha-chia!!!!! Hahahahahahahaha!! (Tenchi, with a small sweat drop on his head turns back to look at the Earth, then his jaw goes limp as he doesn't believe his eyes) (Now outside the ship, the ship is in the bottom left corner, looking like it isn't moving at all with it's engine flames flickering, Earth is in the center to the upper right side of the screen, the Earth slowly turns on it's axis to show that the Earth's face has been replaced with Ryo-oki's, Ryo-oki looks at the ship then raises an ear and says "Meow" while closing it's eye's, the moon (which is now a chubby carrot) floats around it, the ship takes on a giant sweat drop while flying towards and to the right off of the screen. The giant Ryo-oki head then opens it's eye's strait at you, but the eye's have been replaced with black and white swirls, an echoed out "meow" is heard, then the screen plunges into the left eye (from you point of view) for a few moments only to find Tenchi passed out, and Garlic Jr. sitting in a throne room) Tenchi: Ugh…, where am I? Garlic Jr.: So, you finally came too, well, next time, stay away from my special fruit's as, well, you just found out, only the strong can handle them. Tenchi: Well, I had a strange dream… Ah, my head hurts… Garlic Jr.: Well, did you get the morale of the story in your dreams? Tenchi: What, how did you… Garlic Jr.: (Cutting him off) Well!?! Tenchi: Um…, if you own a pet, take care of it, for if you mess up once it will dodo on your carpet, and/or, might get you arrested, is that it? Garlic Jr.: NO!, Aaahhh!, Wrong! Tenchi: Well, what was it then! Garlic Jr.: Until you figure it out, your going to float here in the Dead Zone for eternity! (Turning Tenchi into one of those transparent blue balls that turn into a bottle, miniture Tenchi is thrown aimlessly somewhere at great speed, a tiny blue star is seen where Tenchi was thrown) Garlic Jr.: Little punk, heeheeheehahaha… (insane laughing, a little scroll and a feather quill pen arrive with a poof of purple smoke in his hands and he begins writing his next dark tale of evil, stops for a moment, takes one of his fruits from the plate he put next to his throne, takes a bite, then crushes it and continues writing) (pans upward, blackness is all that can be seen) Narrorator: Remember, if you plan on keeping your home life normal, remember this above all else, stay out of your dad's secret stash of porn, for one day, you too may enter, The Dead Zone! (A tiny blue ball flies across the screen and you hear Garlic Jr.'s insane laughter) Well, that was my very first fan fic ever, so tell me what's up, every thing that is trade marked is owned by someone, so take it up with them if you steal it.