Well, she finally finished it. After about 4 months of watching 
anime, reading manga, typing, editing, then typing, then editing, 
etc... Spanish Inquisitor completed her first work of fanfiction. 
(Woo Hoo! Now I get the computer back :) ) And what a work it is. I 
facefaulted when I saw the final page count, and almost passed out 
when I counted how many anime and manga characters she involved, 
but I think she did a great job and I hope you do, too. 

She really didn't want to do this introduction, 'cause she's 
embarrassed that she'd make a fool of herself. She wants to thank 
the eDANgelist for his insights and observations, without whom 
she'd have just given up on trying to write a fight scene. And she 
wants to thank Crossbow for pushing her to pound it out. She wanted 
to thank me as well, but she did all the work. I'm proud of her for 
doing this, and I hope she will do some more. 

All comment and criticism should be directed to me at 
gankboy@icok.net. I'll pass everything along. If you enjoy it, 
please let her know. It'll do wonders! (for me ;) ) 

All flames will be ignored. Period. If you feel the need to degrade 
someone, make faces at yourself in a mirror. 

Now with all the mushy and obligatory stuff out of the way, get 
ready for the most chaotic, explosive, all encompassing, 
relationship crossover fanfic ever! (I've got to do something to 
hype it!) 

Laters, 

Kenma
(any problems with the cut offs at the end are my fault. I hacked 
it into 6 parts so you wouldn't have to download 60 pages at once.)
*******************************************************************
************** 



The Love Boat: Joe Higashi gets the Girl (Well, Almost)

It began with the Romantic Cruises Company's ticket give away. 
Lucky couples and singles could win a vacation on the first voyage 
of their new ship, Love Boat II. What they did not count on was the 
backhand of fate that they received when their voyage began. 

********* 

Joe Higashi was glad he had used his status as kick boxing champion 
to sway those people at the Romantic Cruises into giving him four 
tickets. He would get to unwind with his friends, Terry, Andy, and 
Mai, and he would get his run of the babes. Thinking of babes, he 
spotted his first conquest. She was a beautiful thing with thick, 
purple hair and was wearing a tight, Chinese dress. She was with 
someone; however, Joe sized him up and decided that he could take 
the geek with glasses. After all, what kind of body could be under 
that robe? 

Joe advanced toward his target when he finally heard her name spoke 
by the boyfriend, "Shampoo." 

********* 

Nabiki sipped her green tea and relished the kiss of the sun as it 
shone upon her freshly lotioned body. She was glad that she had 
blackmailed one of her best friends, who worked for Romantic 
Cruises, into giving her enough tickets for her friends and family, 
whom she sold the tickets to for a reasonable price. She turned 
over so that her back could soak in the rays, "Hey, Kuno baby, put 
some sun block on my back." 

"Tis a sin that this pure-hearted noble must lower himself by 
becoming a common servant." He grabbed the bottle of sun block 45, 
"Isn't this all rather pointless? You are suntanning with sun 
block?" 

"I want to feel the sun warm my skin, but I don't want to have 
become wrinkled because of it. Now stop your meager attempt at 
analysis and rub." 

"I will not endure such torture. I, Tatewate Kuno, come from a long 
line of Samurai not from common rabble. I will not be reduced in 
this manner. Our pact is off." 

Nabiki pulled out a picture, holding it just right, so the glare of 
the sun blocked the sight of its contents. "Too bad. I guess I'll 
have to sell these to someone else. Then again, it won't be any 
trouble. How can any real man resist this red-haired goddess in the 
shower with the water glistening on her iridescent skin, and 
her..." 

Kuno interrupted, trying to feign indifference, "Where do you want 
the sun block applied again?" He spoke as he rubbed the lotion onto 
her skin, "What wretched error hath my heart committed whilst it 
hath thought itself so blessed never?" 

********* 

"Ouch," Joe snapped as the nurse applied anti-septic cream to his 
cuts. He could not believe that someone could hide all of those 
knives under a cloak. He was just relieved that Shampoo's 
intervention had stopped the guy from detonating all of those 
explosives, yet he wished it would not have been with her hitting 
his head with those giant baby rattlers. He was about to tell the 
nurse to stop her torturous ministrations when "she" walked, or 
rather stumbled, into the room. 

She had long blonde hair that was in flowing out of the meatball-
looking buns on the side of her head and the bluest eyes that he 
had ever seen. When she spoke, it was like a warm caress, "Nurse, I 
seemed to have tripped over someone's ill place crochet mallet and 
turned my ankle." 

"Oh, please Serena, you weren't looking where you were going, ran 
into the man who was about to make his shot, and then tripped over 
his mallet." Joe notice that the blonde's companion was no ugly 
duckling herself; she had long, dark hair that glistened violet 
from the light. She would be his next conquest after the blonde. 
Joe Higashi was back in business. 

He put on the tattered remains of his shirt as the nurse wrapped 
the blonde's ankle, and he gallantly swept her into his arms before 
the nurse could offer her a set of crutches. He looked at her with 
his most handsome smile, "I could not let a fragile beauty such as 
yourself walk to her cabin on such an injury." 

Looking incredulous at him, she spoke, "My friend was going to help 
me; really, I should be fine. Thank you, but you can put me down." 

"Never. What kind of man would I be if I did not come to you in 
your hour of need. Baby, I'm your knight in shining armor." He was 
out of the nurse station and on his way to seduction. 

********* 

Akane looked at her humongous room; it was fabulous. It had a 
beautiful pink comforter and satin sheets on the bed, plush maroon 
carpeting, and a big bath. She felt a twinge of guilt as she 
remembered Kasumi's and Nabiki's rooms, which were not nearly this 
nice. She pushed the guilt away knowing that both of them were 
satisfied with their quarters. She picked up her luggage and went 
to the closets just inside of the bathroom. She had to figure out 
what she was going to wear to the first dinner and dance tonight; 
she had a mission. She was going to get Ranma to confess his love 
to her verbally, so she needed to look her best. 

Ranma looked around at his room. It was great. He was glad to see a 
large bed that looked extremely comfortable, a large television, 
and plenty of space; however, he was more elated to see the hot tub 
near the windows. When you rely on hot water to maintain your manly 
form, it is always comforting to see a standing supply of it that 
is ready upon need. 

He noticed the bathroom and the monster shower in it; a long, hot 
shower would work all of the kinks out of his shoulders. He 
stripped of his clothes, letting them fall where they might; after 
all, he had room service. He was in his own private Heaven. 

What he did not expect in his own private Heaven was what he ran 
into first. Akane, who was also nude, walked out of the closet just 
as Ranma, who was nude, was walking into the bathroom. As fate 
would have it, they walked into each other with a thud. 

What happened would not have been nearly as catastrophic if what 
happened next would never have happened. Akane was thrown of 
balance by the impact and shock; she grabbed Ranma's arm to stop 
her fall. However, Ranma was off balance as well, so her weight and 
momentum sent them crashing to the floor just outside the bathroom. 

Ranma's larger body was pressing Akane's into the plush carpeting. 
Neither could move or speak from extreme shock, so they stayed 
there with their eyes bulging and their mouths open. 

There recovery was accelerated by a "Well" from the door. Both of 
them simultaneously looked toward the door where Nabiki stood. "I 
can see that you are busy, so I'll lay the clothes Kasumi pressed 
for you right here." She was through the door in a flash, leaving 
them to their predicament. 

Ranma jumped to his feet and lunged for his clothes as Akane did 
the same. Ranma whirled around to apologize to Akane but could not 
beat the slam of the bathroom door. 

He grumbled to himself about it not being his fault, "Why do these 
things always happened to me?" He went over to the closed, bathroom 
door, "I'm sorry Akane, but it wasn't my fault. If you weren't such 
a clumsy chick, this would never have..." His attempt at comforting 
her ended as the solid oak, bathroom door was violently opened into 
his face, leaving his unconscious body on the floor. 

"Really, my fault, huh? By the way, find yourself another room, you 
pervert!" Akane locked the door and preceded on with her bath, 
purposely ignoring the recent occurrence. 

********* 

"OUCH!" Joe gave the nurse a dirty look, "Would you pull them out 
quickly? You keep wiggling them around too much!" She complied with 
his request, yanking the red rose with all her might. Joe's scream 
was heard throughout the ship. Joe grimaced with pain. How in the 
world did that guy pierce his body with red roses? How was he to 
know that the guy was a Karate expert? He knew now as evident by 
his bruises and lacerations as well as the bouquet of roses that 
was stuck all over his body. "OUCH!" 

"Hey Joe," Terry said as he entered with Andy a close step behind 
him. They both looked at him and then burst into laughter. Terry 
looked to Andy, "How did this happen?" 

"Joe was trying to pick up this little blonde, and her boyfriend 
showed up as he was making his moves. He was a martial artist, and 
it looked like he was using Karate to wipe the floor with our kick 
boxing champ here." 

Joe looked at them and their smiles, "I would have liked to seen 
you do better. How do you defend against flowers? I was about to 
get my second wind and...OUCH!" Joe looked at the nurse, "Watch out 
for the burns!" 

Terry looked at Joe's burns and back toward his brother, "How did 
he get burned?" 

Andy spoke through his laughter, "I was running over to help him 
against that rose-throwing guy when he stopped beating on Joe. Joe 
then got to his feet and walked over to the Blonde's friend, 'How 
about you come help me tend to these injuries; babe, I'm the best 
time that you are ever going to have, so why don't you come back to 
my room for a little one-on-one if you know what I mean.'" Andy 
began to laugh hardily again, "The next thing that I know is that I 
hear someone yell 'Mars' something, and Joe was engulfed in flame. 
Lucky for him, he was near a pool." 

Terry looked at him, "Joe, you should be more careful with the 
ladies; maybe, you should try to be more polite." Terry laid new 
clothes down on the table parallel to Joe. "We'll see you at 
dinner. Here are new clothes to replace the incinerated ones." 

Joe felt about as cool as freshly spewed lava as he glance from 
both of his friends, who neither tried to control their laughter 
nor cared that his arrogant pride had a dent in it the size of the 
San Andres Fault. He decided that he was at his lifetime low on the 
pride tank. He was going to tell his friends a thing or two as they 
were exiting from the room, and then there she was. She was a 
beauty; maybe not a fragile or classical beauty, but she was a 
looker none the less. He watched as she walked outside the nurse's 
station to a viewpoint where she could see the vast ocean. Her 
short, black hair was blowing in the breeze as was her dress. Joe 
Higashi was back in business yet again. 

He ignored the pain of his recent injuries as he quickly dressed. 
He was out the door just as she was about to leave. He strode to 
her like a peacock in search of his mate. "Hi, beautiful, my name 
is Joe; what is yours? Don't tell me. Charming? Angel? Beauty?" 

She looked at him with a confused look, "No..." 

She was silenced as he pulled her into his embrace. "How about you 
and I go to the dinner together, Babe?" He flashed her an even 
larger grin, the kind of grin that someone displays if he is trying 
to sell ocean front property in Arizona. 

Akane was baffled; this guy was either insane or the worst pick-up 
artist ever, "No thanks." She smiled to soften the blow as she 
added, "I have a fiancT, and he is escorting me tonight. Please let 
me go now." Before Akane pushed free from his grasp, Ranma was 
there. 

Ranma, not happy in the least, faced Joe, "Akane is my fiancT, so 
let her go now before I hurt you." 

"Oh, yeah?" Joe was more than enough to take this kid; it would be 
too easy. 

********* 

The wind was scented with the salt from the ocean as it blew across 
Tenchi's face. He was glad that his father had won these tickets, 
yet he still felt apprehension about the vacation, and the reason 
he felt this was the gaggle of women behind him. He looked at each 
of them. 

Kiyone, she was the level-headed person among them, which made him 
glad that she was here to help with the others; Sasami, she was 
always the nice one among the group; Mihoshi, if there was such a 
thing chaos under no fire, she was that in life, and this chaos of 
hers seemed to spread like a mutant virus rampantly on unprepared 
flesh; Washu, he was not sure why or what value this trip had on 
the scientific community, but he suspected that she had rigged the 
contest for them; Ayeka, she was a regal beauty with a hair-trigger 
on her temper, mainly on matters concerning rivals for Tenchi's 
affection; and Ryoko, he did not feel that anything beyond the term 
of space pirate was needed. Individually, with the exception of 
Ryoko and Mihoshi, he felt assured of his ability to deal with each 
of these women, but if you put them together, it was a recipe for 
disaster. He might as well paint a big, bright, red "X" on his 
forehead and prepare for the worse that would soon follow. "Why 
me," was all he could think to utter. 

"Come now Tenchi. The vacation has barely begun. You must not judge 
it until it is over." His grandfather was a wise man, who could 
patiently handle most situations that resulted from the pack of 
women. He patted Tenchi on the back as he headed to their rooms. He 
was about to follow him when he heard a loud crash nearby. 

Ryoko materialized next to him, "Wonder what that was?" 

********* 

"Is he okay?" Sasami asked, looking at Tenchi, and then at the man 
they were tying to pull out of the deck where he was imbedded. 

Tenchi looked at him, "I think he will be once we get him out of 
the deck. Okay, one more tug everyone." Finally, the man was free. 

Mihosi put her hand on her stomach, "Gosh, doing all this work sure 
makes me hungry. I can't wait until dinner because I'm going to 
have their soup and desert and steak and..." 

"We get the point Mihoshi. Watch where you are stepping!" Kiyone's 
warning came one step to late. 

"Agh!" Mihoshi flayed as she fell, landing on Joe's upper body. 

"Mihoshi for once in your life can you not..." Kiyone's reprimand 
was silenced by groaning from Joe. 

"What is happening?" The last thing that Joe remember was being 
knocked into the air by the pig-tailed boy's punch, violently 
twisting as he flew, and the rest was blank. 

"We heard you when you hit the deck, and we finally pulled you 
free," Sasami said with a concerned look on her face, "Are you 
alright? Washu ran her scanner over you, and she said that you did 
not have any broken bones just a few bruised and cracked ribs." 

Joe tested all of his limbs, none seemed broken. He was sore 
everywhere, but he could endure it. "Yeah, I think that I'll be 
fine. Thanks for the save." 

"Your welcome," the group around him said. 

Tenchi asked, "Are you sure that we don't need to take you to the 
nurse?" 

"I'll be able to make it there myself." Joe looked at the group; it 
was one man and a group of babes. 

"We would stay with you, but we must go to our cabins to become 
suitable for the dinner and dance tonight," Ayeka turned in the 
direction of her cabin; Joe noticed that she was another purple-
haired beauty. 

"Some among us need more time to prepare than others since some 
will never be suitable for anything but a paper bag to cover their 
heads." He looked to the speaker, who turned out to be a another 
beautiful woman with silver hair in wild spikes. 

"What is that supposed to mean Ryoko?" Ayeka queried, anger seeping 
throughout her voice. 

Ryoko shrugged, "Hey, you must have a complex about your looks, 
Princess, because I just made a broad statement, and you just took 
it the wrong way. Come on Tenchi let's go to our room." 

"Ryoko, we don't have a room remember; you agreed to be Washu's 
roommate, and I'm rooming with Dad. Don't you remember?" Tenchi 
asked, fearing her answer. 

She slapped her fist to the palm of her opposite hand, "Oh, yeah! 
But you can come and visit me, Tenchi." She drug Tenchi toward the 
stairs to their rooms. 

"What do you think that you are doing with Lord Tenchi? Come back 
here. We still have not settled the argument about your early 
comments." Ayeka stormed after them, stomping; she was so mad that 
she did not realize that she was stomping on Joe's torso as she 
left. 

Joe lay on the deck coughing as Sasami bent over him, "I'm sorry 
about my sister; she loses her temper easily with Ryoko. She really 
didn't mean to stomp on you." The little creature that she cradled 
in her arms meowed as if in agreement. Joe could not tell if it 
were a cat or a rabbit, making him wonder if he had brain damage. 
She smiled, "See you at dinner!" 

"Bye!" He watched the rest of the group ascend the stairs. He was 
left to wonder. "How did that Tenchi-guy get all those chicks?" 

He got to his feet and headed toward his cabin; however, he did not 
expect for a beautiful brunette to cross his path. She was walking 
toward him, and he was taking in the view; she was wearing a low 
cut top and a pair of well-fitted shorts revealing her great shape. 

As he headed toward her, he wonder one thing: why was she carrying 
a large spatula with her baggage. 

********* 

Andy and Terry were still laughing at Joe when they got back to 
their cabins. There waiting for them was Andy's girlfriend Mai. "Is 
Joe okay?" 

The brothers began to laugh and told her the tragic tale of woe, 
which left her in convulsions of laughter. She walked up to Andy 
and put her arms around his waist, "Oh, Andy, did you know that we 
can be married by the ship's captain. In fact, they have a special 
chapel near the dining room." She smiled up at him with love. 

Andy had faced many opponents, who were know the world over as 
fierce fighters that could kill someone in a heartbeat or leave 
them in a condition that made them pray for their own deaths, and 
he never faltered, always keeping his courage; however, it took 
mere words and a little look from a short, ninja girl to steal all 
of that bravado and courage away. 

Terry watched his brother. It was true that Andy was better looking 
than him, but at this moment, a passerby could not tell because 
Andy looked like he had just been informed that he was the guest of 
honor at a castration party. His face was deathly pale as he looked 
at Mai. 

Andy looked at Terry, who he could tell was finding great humor in 
the situation, and then back at Mai. His fight or flight reaction 
kicked in, and he knew what had to be done -- escape. He forced his 
voice to stay calm as he spoke, "Don't joke like that Mai! I have 
to make a phone call to Master Jubei, so please excuse me." He 
slipped from her grip and ran like a dog with his tail between his 
legs to his room until he was safely locked behind the door. 

He knew that he loved Mai and that it hurt her when he rejected the 
idea of marriage, but she had to understand that he was just not 
ready for it. 

********* 

"Don't worry Mune. I'm sure that Joe will be just fine; he has 
survived much worse beatings," Kim Kapwan looked at his beautiful 
wife. He began tugging Joe out of the deck, in which he had become 
imbedded. 

Joe awoke in the nurses station to see Kim and Mune. Mune watched 
as the nurse began to treat the wounds, "Joe, how did this happen 
to you?" 

Joe rubbed his head with his hands, "I'm not sure to tell the 
truth." 

"I know what happened," a voice said from the door. There stood a 
small girl with blue pigtails. She walked over to Joe, "Hello, do 
you remember me? I'm one of the people who pulled you out of the 
deck last time." 

Kim cut in, "This has happened before?" He looked at Joe, who 
looked at the floor, and nodded his head in admission. 

"What is your name?" Mune said in her maternal tones after all she 
had two sons of her own; she knew the ropes when it came to 
children. 

"My name is Sasami, and I'll tell what I saw." Sasami smiled and 
began her story to Joe's despair. "Well, I was outside looking for 
my pet when I saw this girl throwing spatulas at Joe, nicking him 
several times. She began to attack him with this giant spatula; 
however, she never managed to hit Joe. At about the same time, a 
nice guy with a headband and bamboo umbrella stopped to ask me 
directions to Tokyo, which I thought was odd since we were in the 
middle of the ocean, and he then glimpsed the fight. The Spatula-
wielding girl saw him and asked him to help her, which he would not 
do, so she told him that the only way he would make it back to 
Japan without getting lost was with her guiding him. He still said 
no. She then told him that he would never find Akane who was a 
passenger on this ship onto which he had wandered. Reluctantly, he 
went to defend her. I have never seen anyone use an umbrella that 
well." 

"The guy is the one who knocked him into the deck with an 
umbrella?" Kim looked confused as his the tone of his words 
reflected his disbelief. 

"Kim, if you would let Sasami finish the story, we would find out," 
scolded his wife, "Go on, Sasami." 

"Okay, the umbrella guy was beating up Joe when this Panda came 
into view, dancing around the deck in no particular hurry with 
another man with a moustache; both were crying a lot. The Panda was 
holding a sign that said, 'Ranma and Akane have done it; the dojo 
will remain strong!' It looked like all the blood drained out of 
the guy with the headband, who began to glow. The next thing that I 
saw was a bright light, and Joe spinning in the air. I followed his 
flight path to make sure that he would be okay, but you got there 
first." 

"Joe, what did you say to this woman in the first place?" Mune 
looked at him with understanding eyes. 

"It was nothing much; it was just pick-up talk. Sasami could you 
get me a glass of water please?" Joe asked, causing a flurry of 
pigtails as she left to do his request. "I said, 'Hey, babe, do you 
need help with your baggage. I'll help you if you help me into bed 
later; come on, honey, it will be great, and I'll tip you for any 
extras if you know what I mean.'" 

The slap from Mune, whose face radiated fury, shocked Joe. "Joe 
Higashi, how could you say that to a woman? It is the most 
offensive thing that I have heard." The normally gentle Mune 
stormed from the room. 

"Joe, maybe you should tone it down for the rest of the cruise. You 
know, relax your charm. See you around at the dinner if you survive 
till then." Kim followed his wife. 

Joe turned to the nurse, "It wasn't that offensive." 

The sound of the slap rang out, "I have never heard such vulgarity 
in my life." She pointed to the door just as Sasami showed up with 
the water. 

Joe looked at the nurse, "Can I at least have my water?" 

"Sure, it would be uncivil not to give you what you deserve." Joe 
should have been clued in for what happened next; however, he did 
not realize this fact until the water splashed into his face. 

"I'll walk you to your cabin, Joe," Sasami said with a shocked 
expression from what she had witnessed. 

The nurse grabbed Sasami's hand, "Why don't you stay here and help 
me organize some things. We'll have fun." She gave Joe the death 
look, so he took the cue and left. 

Women were the most confusing creatures. He decided that anything 
that can cause all this damage to a person's health needed to be 
sworn off; after all, people were trying to quit everything today: 
caffeine, alcohol, drugs, and even food. Why shouldn't he quit 
women or at least the kind that don't accept payment. 

He began to curse the gender in general when he rounded the corner 
and saw her. She was a beautiful blonde with long silky hair. She 
was leaning over the post looking out toward the ocean. Joe decided 
it was divine influence that here she was when he had decided to 
swear off for good: she was there to change his mind. 

He heard her call out, "Ken Masters, if you are not gentle with my 
purse, I'll beat you up far worse than anyone has ever done before. 
Don't you forget the time that you got into that brawl and dropped 
my purse, perfume spilled everywhere, ruining my cosmetics and 
credit cards." 

Joe noticed the blonde male walking away as he grumbled about her 
forgetting her purse back at the ship's clothing shop. Joe decided 
to make the most of his opportunity. 

********* 

"Do you like my new bikini, Andy?" Andy was stunned as he looked at 
the small, pieces of material that Mai was calling a bikini, and he 
felt his mouth turn up in an appreciative grin, especially as he 
heard the stir it was causing the men in viewing proximity. Later, 
he would find out that two men had heart attacks and one had a 
stroke, which is not unusual in itself; however, when those men 
were between the ages of 20 and 25, it bespoke Mai's appearance. 

"Mai, don't you think you should wear something over it?" 

"Oh, Andy, I love...Joe?" 

Andy looked at her and followed her line of view. It was Joe, and 
he was flying; unfortunately, he was flying off the ship. 

********* 

"Okay, haul him up!" Terry, Andy, Mai, and ship security tugged on 
the rope that hauled the life-saver Joe was holding up toward the 
ship's lowest deck. Thankfully, Terry had been sight-seeing on the 
lower deck when Joe flew by into the water; therefore, he was able 
to get the life-preserver to him in time. 

"Andy," Terry asked, "Can you help him over the railing?" 

Andy nodded as he reached for Joe's hand and began to pull him up; 
Joe had nearly cleared the rail when the most incredible thing that 
Andy had ever seen happened. 

All turned their attention to Mai, as she let out a scream of 
outrage, to see a small, old man attached to her chest, nestling 
her mountains aplenty yelling, "Sweeto!" 

"You let her go, you dirty old man!" Andy commanded as he came to 
Mai's rescue, grabbing the lecher and punching him to the other 
side of the ship. 

Every one of the security officers were asking about Mai's well 
being when another scream caught their attention -- Joe. 

Andy turned to see his friend, who had been desperately clinging to 
the rail, lose his hold on its wet and slippery surface. 

"Throw the life-preserver again!" Terry yelled and was rewarded by 
a quick response from one of the security. Thankfully, Joe managed 
to grab it a second time. 

"Out of my way! It's an emergency!" A female voice screamed, 
triggering a separating of the crowd. A small, blonde girl ran 
toward the rail and pitched a armful of something over the rail. 

"Minnie May, I told you not to bring that kind of stuff with us!" A 
brunette scolded, only to be given a shrug by the blonde. 

Before anyone asked the question of what she had pitched, it was 
answered with a huge explosion, followed by another free flight for 
Joe. 

"When will you learn to tone those grenades of yours down?" The 
brunette asked. 

"I know what I'm doing, Ralley!" 

"Yeah, right." 

********* 

Nabiki sat on the bed, listening to the death threats issued from 
Kuno. "Soatome, I will kill you for the despicable act that you 
have done. The pure flower, Akane Tendou, has been crushed under 
your foot. Akane Tendou, who was to one day wed with me, has been 
defiled by your lustful notions." Bokotou in hand, Kuno headed for 
the door. 

Nabiki could not stand it any longer. The prattling buffoon had to 
be stopped before he caused even more grief for Ranma and Akane; 
they already had enough trouble for a lifetime or two. "They are 
engaged, you know." 

"My Akane and that vulgar debasement of mankind. I will not have 
it! When troubles come thy come not in single spies but in 
battalions!" 

The thud of the mallet resounded throughout the room; it's impact 
sent the noble Kuno to the floor in unconsciousness. "Sorry, Kuno, 
baby, I just could not think of any other way to break through to 
you." 

Nabiki pulled his relaxed body onto the bed and went to the 
bathroom, grabbing a cold wash towel. "Kuno, you are truly 
pathetic." She left him on the bed with the towel on his forehead 
as she left to dress for the evening in the bathroom. 

********* 

Ayeka looked down both sides of the corridor. She crept to the room 
that held her one chance to win Tenchi's heart. She smiled 
maliciously as she thought of the fate of Ryoko. At last that 
insignificant rogue would met her just fate; she would no longer be 
vieing for the love of the honorable Tenchi for she would be out of 
the picture as of tonight. She reached the room and knocked lightly 
upon the door. "Who is it?" 

"Washu, it is me, Ayeka. Can I please come in?" As she entered the 
room, Ayeka's near psychotic laughter trailed down the hall. 

********* 

"Whoa, he looks like the undead!" Minnie May concluded. She looked 
toward Ralley to see her opinion. 

"Yeah, he looks terrible." Ralley agreed. 

"He has had a really bad day," Mai revealed, "He has been beat up 
by nearly every male and a few females on the ship." 

"He has been punched 50 feet through the air, set on fire, 
punctured with roses, and now he has been at the center of the 
blast from several dozen grenades." Andy concurred with his lover, 
a look of pity on his face for his poor friend. 

Terry looked at Joe, "Hey, he looks like he's coming to. Joe, can 
you hear me?" 

Joe blinked several times as his eyes tried to focus, "What Mac 
truck hit me?" 

Terry cleared his throat at he looked accusingly at Minnie May, 
"After you fell again into the water, you were caught in an 
explosion, which sent you hurtling through the air." 

"Oh, man, I went flying again?" Joe looked down at his body as he 
tried to assess the damage. 

"Well, look on the bright side, the artificial palm tree on the top 
deck broke your fall, so you received only bruises and 
lacerations." 

"Hey, how was I in the middle of an explosion?" 

"I'm really sorry about that Mr. Higashi, but I accidentally set 
off the bobby trap that was in my luggage." May explained to him, 
trying to look innocent. 

"Bobby trap in your luggage? Why would you have luggage with bobby 
traps?" 

"You see; it happened to be my own personal explosives arsenal, and 
I was just trying to protect it." 

"Why do you have explosives on a cruise ship anyway?" 

"You never know when they might come in handy. Besides, most people 
are just scared of explosive; they don't see the beauty in a well-
made grenade. Personally, I love them." 

Ralley chose this moment to break into their conversation since the 
injured man looked as confused as possible. His left eyebrow was 
beginning to twitch; Ralley really did not want to find out if he 
was going to have an aneurism on the spot. May had that way about 
her; when it comes to driving people insane, May drove a supped-up 
Lamborgine. "I apologize for her. She has this addiction to 
explosives; I told her not to bring them, but she never listens." 

"Hey, you're packing, so why shouldn't I have my weapon of choice?" 

"Because, you're 'weapon' could sink the boat after it blows half 
of it to pieces!" 

"Oh, yeah, well I can control my..." 

The fight was on, and Joe was out of there. "Please, guys, get me 
away from here before I get caught in the middle of a war." Terry, 
Andy, and Mai were quick to oblige, leaving the two women to argue. 

********* 

Ryoko teleported to a dark alcove near the cabin door where her 
greatest victory lay ready to be claimed. She was going to make 
Tenchi hers, and Princess Ayeka was going to be history. Ryoko 
fantasized about the upcoming night and Ayeka's downfall. She would 
be out of the picture for good. She knocked lightly upon the cabin 
door. "Can I come in Washu?" 

"Sure, come on in. You are my roommate for the trip," she heard the 
genius reply. Ryoko's malicious laughter followed her into the 
room. 

********* 

Finally, Joe was safe in his cabin. He had decided to avoid women 
for the rest of the trip. All of these women here were either 
insane or dating someone insane. He ached all over, from the tip of 
his head to the ends of his toes. 

He flipped on the television and began to surf channels. He sighed 
with contempt since the only shows available were a documentary on 
cheese and an infomercial for a dehydrator. Well, maybe he could 
just fall asleep. 

********* 

Sasami finished styling her hair and looked at the clock in her 
room. She heard Mihoshi in the back wailing about being hungry 
while Kiyone yelled at her to be quiet. Grandfather and Tenchi's 
dad were playing a quick game of checkers while they waited on 
Ryoko and Ayeka to finish dressing for dinner. 

"What are you watching?" Sasami asked as she sat down beside Tenchi 
and Washu on the couch. 

Both looked at Sasami and back at the screen, replying in a sort of 
chant, "I never knew that much work went into cheese!" 

Tenchi shook his head, "I really want to change the channel but the 
methodic manner of the processing line is soothing." Washu nodded 
her head in agreement as they both stared unwavering at the screen. 

The bathroom door opened at the same time that the outside door to 
the room did with both Ayeka and Ryoko walking into the room at the 
same time. Time froze for all of those in the room, and only the 
crackling of red, hot tension could be heard. Both Ayeka and Ryoko 
looked stunning in their evening wear; however, the problem began, 
and would never end, with the fact that their evening gowns were 
exactly the same. They wore the same high heels, the same jewelry, 
the same long gloves, and even the same lipstick. The only 
differences were in body structure and hair color although their 
hair was arranged in the same style. For all of the onlookers, it 
was like looking at an alter-mirror reality of both women. 

The only movement that was made for the first minute was that of 
sweat beads falling from everyone; however, no one, not even 
grandfather, could think of a way to defuse the situation before 
the inevitable catastrophe. The women looked at each other and then 
at Washu. 

"Washu, I demand an answer for this!" Ayeka said with a cool, crisp 
in her aristocratic voice. 

"Yeah, what the H*** happened!" Ryoko demanded bluntly. 

Washu looked at them and giggled, "You both asked me to 
scientifically evaluate your appearance and use my computer to 
design the perfect evening wear. It was so trite of a project that 
I only had the strength to do it once so I blended your data. What 
are you complaining about; you both look perfect. After all, I am a 
genius, and how could I fail?" Ayeka and Ryoko were about to 
protest this statement when a look from Washu, who had her computer 
in her lap stopped them, "How would you like to look stunning in 
the form of a water sprite?" 

"This is all your fault Ryoko. You should just leave well enough 
alone. There is nothing that can be done for someone as pitiful as 
your lowly self." Ayeka punctuated the comment with her snobbish 
giggle. 

Ryoko, who turned fire engine red, "Even Washu could not hide away 
those extra pounds you have put on since you have been on Earth, 
eating junk food and watching soap operas." 

"That is enough from you!" Wooden barrels appeared in the air 
around Ryoko as she began to levitate. Ayeka began to laugh as she 
struck out with Jurian energy, which lopped off Ryoko's top knot of 
hair. "That trim does wonders for you double chin, Ryoko! 

Ayeka was laughing arrogantly when the bolt of energy struck her in 
the mid-section, burning her dress off of her. "You'll die for 
harming my hair!" 

The nude Ayeka was blushing from her lack of attire; however, the 
red color of her skin was from the burn of Ryoko's attack. She 
grabbed a drapery from the window to cover herself as she began to 
radiate with power as did Ryoko. 

Grandfather took the initiative; in a clam voice, he spoke, "I 
think we should run." The room cleared rapidly of witnesses. 

The explosion that happened next was heard throughout ship. 

********* 

To be continued... 

The nurse interrogated Joe as Terry, Tenchi, and Sasami stood near 
by; Ayeka and Ryoko had been carted off to the nurses station. She 
wagged her finger accusingly at Joe, "I found you on the floor with 
those two girls near by you. What do you have to say for yourself, 
mister!" 

"I was just sitting in my room when the ceiling collapsed on my 
head!" Joe said indigently toward the nurse unbelieving nurse. 

"Well, how did the girls get in your room, pervert? One of them was 
completely nude too! You were planning to violate the poor dears!" 
The nurse queried. 

"NO!" Joe screamed and shook his head in vigorous denial. "I really 
don't know how they got here. I assumed they fell in from the room 
above me. I promise!" 

Joe looked at the nurse and could tell she did not believe him, so 
he began again, "I was relaxing watching this special on cheese 
manufacturing as the cheese went down this assembly line and was 
filled and went down to the..." 

"Get to the point!" The nurse barked at him to bring him out of his 
zen state. 

"I told you once already. I felt a huge explosion, which was 
followed by the roof collapsing upon me. The bed from the room 
above landed on top of me. I managed to crawl out from under the 
bed. I didn't know that those girls were even in my room!" 

The nurse's cruel glare was cut short by Tenchi and Sasami, who 
were by the side of the two unconscious women. "He is telling the 
truth," Tenchi spoke. "He did not have anything to do with this 
accident...er...incident." The Sasami's ponytails waved as she 
nodded her head in agreement. 

The nurse was still frowning, "Okay, I'll accept that for now. I 
just know what type of guy he is and all. Listen here Mr. Higashi. 
I don't want to see you again!." 

"Come on Joe. You can room with me," Terry said as he helped Joe to 
his feet. 

********* 

*Thump* *thump* *thump-thump* Ukyo ascertained that Ryoga was in 
deep shock from his speechless condition and from the fact that he 
did not even flinch when she hit him with her spatula. She looked 
at him, laying on her bed with his mouth wide open and his eyes 
bulging from his head; he had been like that since she had drug him 
from his victory over that male chauvinist pig to her cabin. She 
sat down on the couch. She fully understood what he felt. 

She was surprised that her heart did not hurt as bad as she thought 
that it would; she had been expecting this since their near wedding 
not too long ago. She had been dealing with the fact that Ranma 
loved Akane for months now. It did not, however, make it easier to 
accept. 

She looked at Ryoga again. The poor deluded fool had still hoped 
that he could win Akane for himself, and he had been shattered. She 
felt obligated to help Ryoga get through this, especially since he 
could use the breaking point attack upon the ship in a fit of 
passion. It just would not do to end this voyage by being stranded 
in the middle of the ocean, so she was going to be a good friend 
and give support. 

Her next problem was how to break through his shocked condition. 

********* 

Ranma could not believe what had happened, nor could he seem to 
stop thinking about it. He knew that Akane was furious at him. "I 
didn't do nothing," he spoke to the ocean. Somehow, he did not seem 
relieved by his one-sided conversation. He appreciated this 
beautiful view and the peace and quiet around him. Peace and quiet? 
"Hey, where is everybody?" He queried as he looked around expecting 
an attacker at any time. He was sure that Nabiki had blabbed 
already. After all, Kuno was on board, and Ranma was sure that 
somehow that idiot Ryoga had managed to get lost, roaming onto the 
boat by accident. He looked around him suspiciously, but no attack 
was forthcoming. 

"Hey, Ranma, how's your vacation going?" Ranma looked rapidly over 
his shoulder and prepared to dodge; however, the speaker turned out 
to be his friend Daisuke. 

Before Ranma could lie, telling him it was going well, Hiroshi 
interrupted, "Man, you are so lucky to have a date, especially with 
someone as cute as Akane." 

Ranma opened his mouth to reiterate on how uncute she was, but was 
silenced by Daisuke, "Speaking of which, have you and Akane had any 
special, romantic interludes that we should know about? 

"Yeh, have you got lucky yet?" Hiroshi had an expectant look on his 
face as he anticipated Ranma's answer to his question. 

Ranma turned red in his embarrassment, "N..no." 

Daisuke and Hiroshi leaned forward as they spoke simultaneously, 
"No?" They looked at each other and back at the guilty stricken 
Ranma. 

Hiroshi glanced at Ranma, "That was a weak denial, Ranma Saotome!" 

Dasiuke nodded his head in agreement, "So, have you got to second 
base yet?" 

"Maybe he even got to third base?" 

Ranma shook his hands vigorously in front of his face to ward off 
their verbal confrontation, "Nothing happened! I wouldn't do 
nothing with that tomboy!" 

Hiroshi looked at Daisuke, "Do you believe him?" 

"Nope." Daisuke looked Ranma in the eyes. "Come on Ranma. You've 
got to tell us what happened!" 

Ranma decided that he had enough of this conversation, "Your both 
nuts. I've got to go back to my room and dress for dinner. See you 
both later." 

As he walked off briskly, Hiroshi yelled after him, "You traitor, 
Saotome!" 

********* 

Terry was telling Andy about the latest development of Joe's female 
dilemma as they sipped excellent, imported beer. Andy assessed his 
brother's face, "You're telling me that two girls caused the 
ceiling to fall on top of Joe. Come on Terry; you have got to be 
kidding!" 

"Nope," he shook his head. "It happened. Now Joe is resting in my 
room." 

"Are you sure that you should have let him room with you? You could 
be killed in your sleep by a group of female Nazis bent on killing 
Joe for revenge for crimes against the female gender." 

"Surely, after all that has happened to Joe, his luck is bound to 
change for the better. He has bruises and cuts all over his body; I 
don't see how he could find the space for anymore." 

Loud thuds caught their attention; they whirled around to see Mai 
standing at the entrance of the dinning hall with three men laying 
at her feet. "Hi boys! Andy, do you like my new evening gown?" 

Andy, a smile broke onto his face like a scandal on the ten o'clock 
news, looked at her and her gown. It was actually...modest. Well, 
modest for Mai. It had a plunging back and a low cut front, and was 
made from emerald green silk that clung to her body, making all the 
surrounding men drool like wild hyenas deprived of food for months. 
Andy would later find out that three more men had heart attacks, 
leaving a running total of nine injured. 

"Well, do you like it?" She walked toward them, cautiously stepping 
over the bodies at her feet. 

"You look great, Mai." Andy said, smiling as she came to stand by 
him. He was pleased that she was his; he knew that it was 
considered barbaric to think like that these days, but he could not 
help from letting his cave man side emerge. 

"Where is Joe?" 

Andy looked at Terry and then they burst into laughter. 

********* 

The dining hall began to fill with the ship's passengers. Akane and 
Kasumi walked to the table where their father, Nodoka, and Genma 
awaited them. Soun praised his daughters appearance, "You look 
beautiful if only your dear mother had been alive to see this day," 
his tears overwhelmed him. 

Nodoka asked, "Where is Nabiki and her date?" 

Kasumi smiled, "She said that she had some business to attend to 
before she met with Kuno to come to dinner." 

As the females at the table began to chat, Soun lend over to 
whisper to Genma, "Is everything ready, Saotome." 

"It is ready, Tendou." They nodded their heads in agreement as 
giant smiles illuminated their faces and tears gleamed in their 
eyes.. 

Akane listened to the conversation at the table, and was immensely 
relieved that no mention was made of what Nabiki saw. She smiled 
and thought to herself that maybe she had misjudged Nabiki's 
discretion when it came to matters like this. 

********* 

Nabiki shoved her finger into Ranma's chest, "Ranma, I don't want 
to hear another complaint from you. Listen, you do as I tell you, 
or I'll tell Dad how you took liberties with Akane." 

Ranma groaned and looked at Nabiki, "I didn't do nothing. It was an 
accident that we ended up on the floor like that, but nothing 
happened.." 

"How convincing does that explanation sound? Oh, come on, it will 
be over with before you know it. Besides, consider it a charitable 
deed to help someone worse off than you." 

"Since when does charity involve me being blackmailed?" 

"Ranma, really, you are oblivious to the world outside of martial 
arts." 

The unlikely couple made their way to the stairs all the while a 
string of protests echoed after them, echoing "This sucks" 
throughout the decks. 

********* 

"After the cheese is packaged it is sent to be distributed by 
retail." Joe stared at the television in Terry's room; he was 
somehow mesmerized by this cheese documentary. Finally, as the 
credits rolled, he was able to blink his eyes and gather his 
concentration, which was not necessarily good since he winced in 
pain. 

He decided that he was safer here, if any place, mopping about his 
current Betty situation. He envied Andy, who had Mai around all the 
time. He then thought of Terry and all of his trouble with women, 
leading him to the conclusion that he was better off without 
anything emotional; he was a one night lover. 

He looked at the television; the station that he had been watching 
went to static, so he flipped to the other channel, which was 
static as well. "Great, now both of the stations have lost their 
signal. You would figure that with a luxury line that they would 
have television worth watching." After the statement was spoke, it 
hung in the air in front of him, his imagination turning it a 
brilliant red that flashed. Of course they had poor television, it 
was a luxury liner where you are supposed to have romance and 
candlelight. He slumped even further on the couch as the feeling of 
being lame sunk into each and every pore. 

He sat there looking blankly at the static. He had never had this 
much trouble with women in his life. Maybe, Mune was right when she 
said that he needed to learn how to treat women with respect. 

All at once the idea struck him like lightning. He yelled out loud 
with incite, "I've got it!" He could get a chick if he would reform 
his ways; he would become a gentleman, so he could have pleasure on 
this pleasure cruise. Yes, he would be nice and respectful to all 
women. 

His wounds forgot, he jumped up and dressed for dinner, thankful 
that he had been able to salvage his personal affects from the 
disaster zone formerly called his room. He was out the door in a 
matter of minutes. 

********* 

*Splash!* The cold water transformed Ryoga from his shocked solid 
state to a angry piglet. He looked up to find his attacker. 

"Sorry, Ryoga, I didn't know any other way to get your attention. 
Besides, I have hot water waiting right here." She poured the 
kettle on the piglet. 

"Where am I?" The eternally lost boy asked as he viewed his 
surroundings. 

"I am only guessing here, but I think that you managed to get lost 
and end up on our Luxury Cruise. Right now you are in my room. I 
drug you here after the fight...and the sign." 

At the mention of the sign, Ryoga slumped and then began to glow as 
his misery turned into energy. 

His mind visualized Ranma, slapping Akane to the ground, yelling at 
her, "You'll do what I want, or I'll hurt you." 

Akane looked up at him with tears streaming down her face, mixing 
with the blood from her busted lip, "Please, Ranma, don't make me 
do this!" 

Ranma laughed arrogantly as he tied her hands and legs to the 
bedstead and then secured a chain around them to make sure she did 
not get away, "You might as well except you fate as my future 
wife!" With that remark, his laugh turned cruel. 

Ukyo slapped the dazed Ryoga, who jumped to his feet, "Ranma 
Saotome has gone to far. He has forced himself on poor Akane. He 
will pay!" Ryoga ended the last threat by quickly running through 
the door, leaving Ukyo to look after him in amazement. 

"Ryoga, you are so dense. It's time we gave up; there is no chance 
of either of us coming between Ranma and Akane." Her words, 
however, fell upon empty space since Ryoga was racing to find 
Ranma. "Well, I guess I had better try to stop him before he makes 
a jackass out of himself." She grabbed her spatula and was out the 
door. 

********* 

Terry walked along the moonlit deck toward his room; he decided 
that he should check on Joe before dinner started to see if he had 
been further brutalized by women. He rounded the corner and found a 
beautiful, raven-haired women, leaning against the rail. Her long 
hair was blowing in the wind as she stared across the ocean and 
music from the dinning room, Strangers in the Night, trickled 
outside. "Is something wrong?" 

The beauty looked at him, and he was surprised to find beautiful 
blue eyes. "I just stopped to look at the scenery," Kiyone said 
simply, but the truth was that she did not have the strength to 
face Mihoshi. She was doing her best to postpone the inevitable; 
however, she knew that her partner would find her, and it was a 
thought that made her think of suicide. She looked at the man that 
had spoken, and she was glad that she did since he was a nice 
looking guy even if he was a blonde. She immediately smiled, 
"Thanks for asking." 

"No problem. I was just on my way back to my room to check on my 
sick friend if ..." 

"Hey, what kind of idiot do you think I am? I would never fall for 
a line like that, so ..." 

Her statement was cut short by the site of him waving his hands in 
denial and shaking his head, "No, I wasn't going to ask you to come 
to my room; I was going to ask if I could walk you to dinner on my 
way back from my room." 

Kiyone decided that she had come to the wrong conclusion, but after 
all, she was a Galaxy Police Detective accustomed to lies. "Sure, 
I'll be waiting for you here." 

"I'll see you when I get back." As she watched him walk away, she 
pondered what had possessed her to agree so quickly. 

********* 

Joe Higashi was a man on the prowl, and he had just found his next 
query -- a cute brunette with exquisite green eyes. He had 
overheard one of her friends call her Momiji. He knew what he had 
to do -- be a gentleman, so he strode over to her, the best he 
could with his multiple injuries (resembling a "Mac Daddy" Igor the 
hunchback), with the thought of politeness on the top of his mind. 
"Hi, may I say that you look gorgeous tonight!" Joe grasp her hand 
and kissed it. 

Momiji was shocked; it was true that she had purposely worn this 
sheer, tight-fitting, evening gown to attract a man's attention; 
however, this was not the man as indicated by the marker writing 
especially added to her heart panties that said, "I love you, 
Kusanagi!" She was speechless; she did not want to be mean to this 
guy; nor did she want his attention especially his continued grasp 
on her hand. 

Joe assumed from her silence that she was shy and extremely 
flattered by his romantic gesture. He made a mental note to be 
polite. "Would you like to go to dinner together? Or, you can just 
skip the formality and use your time with a great guy like me more 
wisely, and we could go back to my room." Joe smiled; he felt proud 
that he had said what he wanted bluntly but in a non-derogatory 
manner. 

Momiji just looked at him, her mouth open down to her knees; she 
was stunned that he had even asked her that question. However, her 
response was not needed since her friends spoke for her in their 
own unique manner. 

Joe heard rustling over his shoulder, and he looked around straight 
into the barrel of a Glock held by a woman with black hair that 
covered her right eye. He pivoted a few more degrees and found 
himself looking into the barrel of a bazooka held by a reddish-
blonde woman in a pink jumpsuit. He pivoted again to find the dark 
scowls of another woman who held syringes in her hands. However, he 
really knew that he was in trouble when her heard a craggy voice 
from behind, "Let go of Momiji now!" 

Joe turned to face the man and was shocked to discover that he had 
green hair, orange-tinted skin, and cat eyes. He was immediately 
worried about his fate as he saw the extreme hate and rage present 
in those eyes. 

********* 

"Saotome, I shall smite thee!" Kuno yelled as he advanced toward 
his target, falling short when cold water splashed into his face. 

"Come on, Kuno Baby, get serious. There is not enough room in this 
cabin for you two to fight. Besides, I brought Ranma here today to 
explain something to you." Nabiki placed the empty pitcher down and 
grabbed another that was full of icy water, which she pitched on 
her future brother-in-law. 

Kuno stood there in shock, so Nabiki took the initiative, "Kuno, 
Ranma and the Pig-tailed Goddess are one and the same as we told 
from the very beginning." 

A bewildered Kuno looked from Nabiki to his Pig-tailed Goddess, "I 
had no idea that you, My Pig-tailed Goddess, are a practitioner of 
magic as is the cursed Ranma, but I do not care. For my love for 
you exceeds the amount of the stars in the heavens and the amount 
of water in the vast oceans. I do not think less of you, my love; 
come let me worship you in my arms. A woman's face with nature's 
own hand painted. Hast thou, the master-mistress of my passion. 
Mine by thy love!" 

Nabiki sighed aloud as she watched Kuno chase Ranma around the room 
with his arms spread wide professing his love. "This is going to 
take longer than I thought." 

********* 

Joe faced his newly acquired enemy the cat eyes, "You're going to 
beat me up; aren't you?" 

Kusanagi nodded, "Yep, and really bad at that." 

Joe looked around at his options: imminent death, the firing squad, 
or the cold water below. In a split second, he acted leaving 
Kusanagi amused. Joe vaulted over the rail toward the dark ocean 
below. However, before he could begin his plunge, he was snatched 
by Kusanagi who was laughing as he brought Joe to his feet, "What 
are you doing?" 

Joe, who was quite annoyed, answered, "It was obvious that I was 
going to get beat up again. Everyone on this boat is ridiculously 
over-powered, and I have already been beaten by half of them. 
Either I have insulted their fianc,, insulted them, or the women 
themselves have beaten me. I have already been involved in an 
explosion and the collapse of the room above me. I can tell you 
that having a king size bed dropped on you is not pleasant nor is 
having your body hurled through the air several times. I am tired 
of being in fights that I can't win. It is humiliating and very 
painful. Did you know that the nurse refuses to care for my wounds? 
She hates me!" 

Joe stopped his tirade and looked at the people around him. They 
were stunned; with their eyes bugging and sweat beads popping out 
on their forehead, they stared at Joe. Almost in unison, they 
asked, "You're kidding?" 

Joe shook his head, "No, it all happened today and that is only 
half of it." 

Kusanagi release Joe, "I guess I can ignore that you tried to pick 
up Momiji. Just don't do it again." The artillery behind him agreed 
and lowered their weapons. 

Joe was pleased with himself. He had solved that life-threatening 
situation with mere words. Joe Higashi was back in business. He 
strutted off into the night. 

********* 

"Ranma Saotome, what have you done with my love?" Kuno cried as he 
tried to swipe him with his Bokuto. 

Ranma dogged with ease, "Nabiki, how long do I have to put up with 
this?" 

Nabiki smiled, "For as long as I say, or I'll tell my Daddy and 
yours what I saw." 

The grimace spoke for Ranma's feelings on this as he continued to 
dodge Kuno. 

"Let's try one more time." Nabiki grabbed the pail of cold water. 

********* 

The Masaki family and their friends sat around the table, sipping 
on wine, as they waited for dinner to be served. The appetizers 
that had been on their table were gone in a matter of seconds, so 
they were left to look at the crumbs on the empty plate in front of 
her. 

"Gee, Ayeka, did you have to pig out on all of the food? You are 
such a pig!" 

"I beg your pardon, Ryoko! I'll have you know..." 

Grandfather interrupted, "Girls, if you get into a fight, it will 
stall dinner, so how about we just talk politely." 

All were in agreement if it would make the food come quicker. 

********* 

Meanwhile Andy and Mai sat at their table waiting for Terry. Andy 
was terribly nervous with Mai cuddling next to him, her beautiful 
face with a loving smile. He knew the subject of marriage would 
eventually be put on the table. He could feel sweat beads popping 
out on his forehead. 

"Andy, how was Master Jubei?" 

"Uh..he was fine. He sends his best wishes." 

Mai looked up at him suspiciously, "You didn't call him, did you?" 

"Mai, don't be silly. Of course I called him." 

Mai was still gauging his reaction when the waiter showed up to 
take their orders. 

Andy had decided to tip him well for showing up just at the right 
time. Mai looked at Andy, and women's intuition told her something 
was wrong. 

********* 

"Oh, Grandfather Happosai, I didn't know that there were tuxedos 
made that small; is it a children's suit? You look very nice and 
distinguished!" Kasumi complimented and Nodoka agreed, much to the 
shame of Happosai. 

"I'm not small," Happosai cried. "It's not a kiddie suit!" 

Soun, who was laughing, "That was a good one Kasumi!" However, he 
did not have much longer to laugh as he was hit by a pipe. 

"I don't think it was funny." Apparently, Soun and Genma agreed 
because they began to bow and beg for his forgiveness to the 
surprise of onlookers. 

"Gee, Dad, would you stop that; you look pathetic!" Akane snapped; 
however, her request was to no avail. 

"Can we join you," Mousse asked. 

Akane looked to her right and saw Mousse with Shampoo at his side; 
however, Mousse appeared to be talking to the plant near there 
table. 

"Mousse, you blind as bat. They here." Shampoo grabbed his head and 
turned it toward the Tendou table. 

Akane smiled as she remembered how Mousse had finally won Shampoo's 
heart; it began with a sleeping potion that he placed in a special 
batch of Ramien, which he systematically fed Cologne, Shampoo, and 
Ranma. It was just enough to make them too drowsy to defend 
themselves and had beat each of them. However, the hard part was 
getting Shampoo to fall in love with him. Much to everyone's 
surprise, he did not demand that she marry him immediately as was 
his right -- only that she date him and give him a chance to win 
her heart. 

"Why don't you join us?" Akane asked the couple. 

"Thank you." 

********* 

"Oh, for goodness sake, Kuno watch this again. Hot water, male. 
Cold water, female." Nabiki yelled, trying to pierce his wooden 
head to that pea brain within. 

"Surely you jest. Besides, why should I believe you Nabiki Tendou. 
Come here my love!" 

Ranma easily dodged Kuno's embrace, "Can I go to dinner now, 
Nabiki?" 

"No, try hitting him again. Maybe it will knock some sense in him." 

Seeing the suitcase by the bed, Ranma grabbed it and smacked Kuno 
across the face with it. 

"My love! Allow me to caress you fair body!" Kuno yelled undaunted 
by the blow as he desperately tried to reach around the suitcase to 
grab the object of his desire. 

********* 

Kiyone was about to head to dinner by herself since her "date" had 
not shown when he came walking up to her. He gave her his boyish 
grin, "Sorry I'm running late; my friend wasn't in my room. I hope 
he's alright." 

Kiyone smiled, "I'm sure that he is fine." 

Terry regarded her, "I don't know. With the day that he is having, 
he might be held hostage somewhere as we speak." 

Meanwhile, Joe tried to plead his way out of being held hostage, 
"Ladies, I really apologize. Please let me go back to my cabin. I 
think that all of you are beautiful, honest." 

Kimiko Ayanokouji, the self-proclaimed leader of the Debutante 
Detective Corps, addressed him again, "We said choose which one of 
us is the most beautiful, and we mean choose now!" The four other 
girls agreed whole-heartedly, especially the blonde called Nina, 
who had a Barret Sniper Rifle pressed to Joe's forehead. 

Joe, desperate to soothe all of their egos, "Listen. You are all 
gorgeous. The only reason that I hit on the red-head was because 
she was the first one that I saw. You have got to believe me." 

"Choose! We have to settle this question once and for all," spoke 
Youko Ryezaki as she adjusted her red hair, "Even though he hit on 
me first,". 

Joe looked at each one of them, and he knew that he was in it deep. 
"How do I get out of this one," he thought to himself. 

********* 

"You're probably right," Terry agreed, "He must be out trying to 
con the Nurse into giving him pain medication; surely he would not 
be trying to hit on anymore women. Are you ready for dinner?" 

"Yes, I'm starving. I haven't ate anything since breakfast." 

Terry looped his arm through hers as they proceeded to the dinning 
room where they were seated next to a nervous looking man and a 
gleeful woman. "Kiyone, this is my brother, Andy, and this is Mai." 

"It is a pleasure to meet you both," Kiyone notice immediately the 
similarities between brothers. "So are you two married?" She 
immediately regretted the question because of the chain reaction it 
caused. 

"Andy, she thought we were married! We must look like a old, 
married couple." Mai commented as she snuggled even closer to Andy, 
who had just spit out the appetizer that he was eating. 

Terry moved quickly to seat her at the table to ease Kiyone's 
embarrassment when the whine that had ruined Kiyone's life was 
heard. 

"Kiyone! Don't you want to come sit by me!" Mihoshi whined in a 
near panic across the dining room, resulting in curious glances by 
everyone present. 

"Mishosi, would you please be quiet. I want to sit here." Kiyone 
said, determined to keep a tight control on her temper since she 
wanted to make a good impression with Terry. 

"But...But..." Mishoshi began to wail. "Why don't you want to sit 
by me? I'm your partner!" 

"Would you shut up you whining, little brat! Must you ruin every 
life experience that I have. Can't I at least have one night to 
myself?" Kiyone then noticed that she was screaming at the top of 
her lungs and on her hands and knees on top of the table. She 
looked at Terry, who was visibly stunned as was Mai and Andy, each 
of who had sweat beads popping out on their forehead. She quickly 
got off the table; however, she could still feel everyone's eyes 
upon her. 

Mihoshi was still wailing to Kiyone's disdain; however, Kiyone's 
miracle came in the form of Tenchi's Grandfather, who explained 
that Kiyone was still her friend and partner, but that she wanted 
to meet other people. To everyone's surprise, his reasoning worked 
in the most part because of the arrival of her dinner. 

Kiyone bowed her head in shame; however, she was shocked when she 
felt a gentle touch upon her chin, pushing upward until she was at 
eye level with Terry. 

"Kiyone, don't worry about it. Enjoy your meal; I'm sure that your 
friend will be fine." 

Kiyone swore that she was in love at the very minute; he was nice 
looking and understanding. 

********* 

Joe was running from his former captors. Good luck finely returned 
to Joe when the girls began to fight amongst themselves. He saw his 
opening and made a break for it. He hid in the shadows and listened 
to see if he was being pursued; instead, he heard the battle royal 
raging between the girls, and he was deeply thankful that he had 
come away from the situation with his life. He decided then and 
there to go back to his room and never come back out even if he 
developed cabin fever. He would lock himself in if need be. 

********* 

"I give up!" Nabiki screamed as she threw her hands into the air in 
a grandiose jester. She then addressed Ranma, "You had better go on 
to dinner before the others get suspicious. I'll clean up the 
mess." 

"You aren't going to tell anyone even though your plan failed," 
Ranma was afraid to hear the answer. 

"No, you did your part; I promise that I won't breath a word." She 
smiled, which he mistook as a sign of reassurance. 

"Nabiki, you're not as bad as I thought. See you at dinner." Ranma 
was out the door, leaving her to clean up Kuno for dinner. 

She grabbed a pail of water left over from her futile plan and 
splashed Kuno in the face. "Kuno, Baby, you are so pathetic." 

Nabiki was shocked when he jumped to his feet, "My Goddess, where 
are you?" 

"She went to dress for dinner, which has already started. If you 
want to see her, I suggest that you do the same. I'll see you if 
you make it." Nabiki stopped at the door, "Out of curiosity, after 
all you have seen, you still believe that the Pig-tailed girl is 
not Ranma and that she loves you." 

"One should never doubt the tender virtue of one so pure. I vow 
that I will break the accursed spell that Ranma Saotome has place 
upon her, and she will be mine." 

"What about Akane?" 

Kuno shrugged, "I have enough love for them both, and I will set 
her and my Pig-tailed Goddess free from Ranma and his forced 
intimacy. Oh, the double date amour!" 

Nabiki turned and left without another word. She was frustrated 
with Kuno. He was ruining her plans completely. She decided that 
she wanted to go to college; however, her money was tied up in 
different business ventures and would not be mature until after her 
first two years of college. She did not want to be a poor student, 
so she had decided that her best option was to marry Kuno for his 
money. After all, what was he, Kodachi, or the Principal going to 
do with it besides swindle it away. She could make an even bigger 
fortune with it. 

However, her big problem was Kuno's love for the Pig-Tailed girl 
and Akane, which she did not yet know how to defeat, but she would 
find a way. 

********* 

Joe was walking back to his cabin when he saw the spectacle that 
made his ego plummet again. There was a Japanese guy who was 
surrounded by ladies; he was wearing a red head band and a simple 
white gi. The women were practically throwing themselves at his 
feet; they were almost begging for him. 

Joe's mouth dropped open as the guy busted free of their grasp, "I 
am not interested in anything but finding my friend. His name is 
Ken Masters. Do any of you know him?" 

The girls shook their head "no" and continued to swarm. 

He simple walked away, "None of you are of any use to me, good 
night." 

Joe watched him disappear into the shadows, and cursed him for 
being a fool. He was tempted to go over and try to soothe their 
wiles; however, he decided, with his luck, they would end up being 
a group of female Nazis bent on murdering kick boxers. He stopped 
walking, and began to bash his head into the wall next to him, "I 
AM LAME!" 

********* 

To be continued... 

Ranma could smell the good food as he came to the doors of the 
dining room; however, entrance was to be denied by a livid Ryoga. 
"Ranma Saotome, tonight you die!" 

Ranma jumped back, barely avoiding Ryoga's fist. "Hey, Ryoga, what 
is wrong with you?" 

Ryoga looked in fury at his nemesis, "You are an enemy of women 
that should be destroyed, and I am the man to do it!" He threw a 
spinning round house kick at Ranma's head; however, he was not 
quick enough to catch his target, who had jumped over his kick and 
pushed off of Ryoga's head to land on the other side of the deck. 
The momentum of Ranma's push sent Ryoga sliding across the deck on 
his face. 

When Ryoga stood up, his face was red and swollen with minor 
abrasions. "Tonight, I will defeat you because I am fighting for 
justice!" Ryoga charged toward Ranma, throwing several, rapid 
punches. All of which were skillfully dodged by the Pig-Tailed Boy. 

"Come on Ryoga. I don't want to fight you!" Ranma spoke as he 
continued to dodge Ryoga's attacks. 

Ryoga was enraged, "How could you use rope and chains on Akane?" 

"What in H*** are you talking about?" Ranma irately queried. 

"You know what..." However, before he could finish his explanation, 
he was cut short as he was smacked in the face by the door as Ryoko 
flew out of the dining room. He regained his balance in time to be 
smacked again as Ayeka came storming out after her. A furious Ryoga 
got to his knees and was about to rise when he was ran over by the 
stampede of curious passengers. 

Ayeka, red as a lobster from the anger and burn, confronted her 
slanderer, "Ryoko, what you have done is unforgivable. I am going 
to make the galaxy a safer place tonight by eliminating you. I will 
teach you to call me a glutton in front of Lord Tenchi!" She began 
to laugh that familiar, psychotic laugh. 

"Oh, yeah Princess, you and what army? Besides, the way you cleaned 
up that plate of yours showed that I was speaking the truth." 
Ryoko, too, began to laugh. 

"Your end is near, you vile creature." With that, Ayeka's vein at 
the side of her head began to throb as wooden cylinders appeared 
around Ryoko and unfortunately Ranma, Ryoga, and Ukyo. This 
challenge was met by Ryoko, who began to glow with energy. 

Ryoko flew over and lifted up a large ornament palm tree and swung 
it around to hit Ayeka. 

Grandfather was stepped out of strike range, "Nobuyuki, you should 
dodge." However, before Nobuyuki could respond, he was hit by the 
artificial tree as was a third of the spectators. The rest of the 
passengers backed as close to the dining room entrance as they 
could. 

Ayeka hit the deck to avoid the swing, but was quick to retaliate 
with her Jurian energy. 

Grandfather was smirking at Nobuyuki, "I warned you to move. Maybe 
next time you should watch your surrounding more careful..." The 
impact of the tree sent him flying into the air. 

Tenchi shook his head in disdain, "What was that about watching 
your surroundings, Grandfather?" 

Grandfather threw a fake coconut that had came off the tree, 
hitting Tenchi in the back, which sent him flying between the 
sparring women in time for him to bear the brunt of Ayeka's energy 
explosion as well as Ryoko's energy attack. 

At the same time, the reality of their mistake sunk into Ayeka and 
Ryoko, who screamed in unison, "Tenchi!" They rushed to his side to 
care for him. 

Ryoga attacked his Ranma as the girls fought on, hoping that he was 
distracted; however, as he was about to make impact with the 
unsuspecting Ranma, the explosion caught both of them, sending them 
flying through the air. Ranma landed in a palm tree; consequently, 
he was luckier that Ryoga, who landed in the pool. 

Ukyo pulled the unconscious piglet from the pool, "I told you not 
to do this!" 

Ranma was trying to get his shirt free from the palm tree when he 
heard someone below, "What are you doing in the tree, Ranma? I bet 
you had something to do with this!" He heard Akane yell. He turned 
to scream back at her that this was not his fault when he caught 
sight of her. Although he kidded her about being a tomboy, she 
certainly did not look the part tonight. She was actually very 
beautiful in the form-fitting, sapphire gown with hair arrange in a 
feminine fashion, and Ranma was stunned by her appearance, so much 
so that he lost his balance, falling from the tree. 

He hit the ground with a loud thud. However, he knew that Akane 
would be beating him in a second if he did not recover quickly. He 
made a move to evade the mallet that he knew would soon crease his 
hair; however, it did not come. He looked over to see a young man 
standing next to Akane, holding her arm. Ranma saw red, a blood red 
to be exact. 

He was just in striking distance when he heard what he was telling 
Akane, "No, these two girls do this frequently; He had nothing to 
do with it. Oh, by the way, my name is Tenchi." He gestured to the 
little girl by his side, "And this is Sasami." 

"Hi, my name is Akane. It is nice to meet you." 

"Akane," Sasami spoke in her normally sincere tone, "Tenchi is 
telling the truth. These two have never been able to get along, and 
this is a frequent occupance." 

Sasami and Tenchi both bowed their heads and sighed in shame. 

"My name is Ranma Saotome," Ranma decided to break into the 
conversation before this Tenchi guy went falling for Akane and 
kidnaped her or something, ruining their vacation. He walked to 
stand by Akane and then hauled her to his side. "Akane is my 
fianc,." 

Sasami beamed with joy, "You make such a nice looking couple; don't 
they Tenchi?" 

Tenchi agreed, "You really do. Congratulations on your engagement." 

Ranma and Akane turned the blood red color that Ranma had seen 
early. Neither knew what to say, so they just murmured a thank you 
without looking at one another, knowing full and well that if they 
did their feelings might get the better of them in public. 

Tenchi could see the discomfort that they were in, and he heard 
Ayeka and Ryoko's laughter cease, so he decided to cut their 
initial meeting short, "It was nice to meet you. I think that the 
girls are coming out of their stupor now, so we need to take them 
back to their cabins. See you around." 

Sasami waved goodbye as she went over to check her sister. 

Ranma and Akane stood their, still unsure of what to do; 
thankfully, Soun and Genma came to their rescue by telling them to 
come to dinner. Unknown to the two at the time, they would not be 
so thankful later. 

********* 

"So, Kiyone, you know those two girls?" Mai asked after seeing the 
tensed expression on her face. 

"Yes, unfortunately. Why must my life be so hard? At least, they 
did not start this fight in my cabin like they have at my apartment 
every time that they come to visit. Why can't they just flip a coin 
for Tenchi? Anything to keep the peace, but that is impossible." 

Terry leaned over to Kiyone, "Kiyone, you're shouting." 

Kiyone again bowed her head in shame, a evident blush upon her 
face. She had already made a fool of herself three times in one 
meal. Here was a nice guy who seemed to be laid back and easy 
going. Just the kind of guy that she liked. "What do I do? I make a 
fool of myself not once but twice," she kept these thoughts to 
herself, but the thoughts made up her mind. "I hope that you will 
excuse me. I don't feel so well. I think that I'll head back to my 
cabin now. Thank you for having dinner with me." 

Kiyone quickly headed to the door; however, she was not quick 
enough. Terry caught her left hand as she was leaving, "At least 
let me walk you to your cabin if you are not feeling well." 

She tried to think of a reason to deny him, but she could not 
without being rude. Besides the fact, she heard several crashing 
sounds in the dining room, which indicated to her that Mihoshi was 
trying to come after her. "Sure, Terry, if you don't mind leaving 
your dinner." 

They were out the door before Mihoshi made it to them, and Kiyone 
was going to see to it that they followed a route to her room that 
she would never find. 

********* 

Joe could see his cabin's door in the distance; he was home free. 
He should have known better. He was broadsided by a tall blond, who 
knocked him to the deck. She looked down at him after she stepped 
on his solar plexus, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I must not have been 
looking where I was going. Oh, it is you Joe! Let me help you!" 

He remembered her as Mihoshi, one of the girls accompanying Tenchi 
and Sasami. She began to tug on him, "Hey, you're Mihoshi. Where 
were you going in such a hurry?" Joe asked off hand out of 
curiosity; he was not prepared for what erupted from her after she 
dropped him. 

"Kiyone, you remember Kiyone. She is my partner in the Galaxy 
Police; she has been my partner for the longest time. We have the 
best partnership in the Galaxy Police. We are the best of friends. 
Except tonight she sat with this other guy. I don't think she likes 
me much anymore cause she had dinner with him and... It was this 
good steak with an amazing barbeque sauce and mashed potatoes and 
corn on the cob and hot chocolate not to mention this amazing 
cheese cake. I am so hungry again. I want to see Kiyone. She left 
me behind, and I can't find her," Mihoshi then began to wail at an 
unbelievable noise level. 

Joe could only stare at her until she started the wailing then he 
was desperate to find a way to quiet her. "It's going to be okay. 
You'll find Kiyone; I promise." 

Her answer to him was even louder wailing, so he decided to be even 
more creative, "I'll help you find her." 

This tactic worked. He was astonished how fast she pulled him to 
his feet and into a big hug, "Thank you so much" 

Joe was terribly angry at himself. Not only had he promised to help 
this nut case, but he was going to have to go around the ship to do 
it, which spelled doom for him. He looked at Mihoshi again; he 
realized that she was really beautiful with those blue eyes and 
golden hair. But the idea that put incentive into the task ahead 
was that for once in his life the damsel in distress had come to 
him. Joe Higashi was helping the girl not Terry or Andy. Joe's 
thoughts were full of visions of Mihoshi thanking in the nude as 
she lead him back to the bedroom, whispering to him that he was her 
night in shining armor. "I'm your hero, Baby!" 

********* 

Washu was in a hurry to get to her lab. There was something wrong 
with this picture, and she did not know what it was although she 
had a sneaking suspicion that it revolved around Kiyone. 

********* 

Ryu Hoshi was still searching for Ken. He decided to search the 
dining room, which he was heading toward. He suddenly found himself 
falling onto the deck right on his rump. He was about to get back 
on his feet when a little, black piglet jumped onto his chest, 
squealing as if to be complaining. Ryu realized that this must be 
what had tripped him. He was about to dislodge the angry piglet 
when a woman with a huge spatula and a kettle came up to him, 
splashing him and the piglet with hot water. Before Ryu had a 
chance to become furious with the girl, he found himself being 
straddled by a boy wearing a leopard headband and nothing else. In 
the silent tension that followed, Ryu had plenty of time to become 
angry. He scathingly looked at the nude boy on him, "Get off me! 
Now!" 

********* 

Ken Masters sat at his table with his wife, who happened to be the 
maddest woman on Earth. "Eliza, Honey, I would never have gotten 
into that fight if he had not hit on you. I can't let some guy hit 
on my wife. What kind of man would that make me?" 

Eliza flipped a pea into his face, "A man with patience. You 
promised me that you would try not to fight. I did not need you to 
defend my honor; I was quite capable of doing it for myself. But, 
no, Ken Masters has to fight all the time to prove his manhood." 
She flipped another pea into his face. 

"I'm sorry. I promise that I'll buy you a completely new purse and 
new cosmetics." His attempt at soothing his wife's temper were in 
vain as another pea found its mark on his face. 

"Do I see Ryu around any place? No, I don't. You made me a promise, 
but I guess that your promises are no good. I wonder when will you 
break our wedding vows." 

"Oh, come on Eliza. I would never do that; please give me another 
try... Stop that right now. Don't give me those puppy dog eyes. I 
feel bad enough already without those eyes... Fine, I'll try even 
harder next time, but I don't know if I can keep myself from 
beating up men that hit on my Lady. I love you too much to allow 
anyone the opportunity to steal you." Ken was about to make even 
more promises when his wife quickly grabbed his hand. 

Eliza had tears in her eyes, "Ken Masters, that was the most 
romantic thing that you have ever said to me. Let's go back to our 
cabin for some peace and quiet. Okay?" 

Ken, like a deer in the headlights, obediently nodded yes. He still 
could not figure out how he went from the most hated man on Earth 
to her beloved in less than five seconds. "Women," he thought to 
himself. 

********* 

Ranma and Akane did not speak or make eye contact during dinner; 
instead, they both listened to the conversation made by their 
families at the table. Ranma became very apprehensive when Nabiki 
showed up with Kuno. Ranma expected Kuno to challenge him at any 
time, spilling out what had happened between him and Akane. Of all 
the people she had to tell, she told Kuno; she might as well told 
his friend Daisuke. Still, she hadn't told his parent's or Mr. 
Tendou. 

Akane could not help but look at Mousse and Shampoo; she wished 
that Ranma would look at her like Mousse looked at Shampoo. To 
think, not to long ago Shampoo had completely ignored Mousse, and 
now here she was staring into his eyes, her love evident. Akane was 
envious of their relationship. Maybe if she told Ranma that she 
loved him, he would tell that he loved her. She immediately 
discarded the idea since she felt that she did not have the courage 
to go through with it. 

The dinner was delicious, and everyone had second portions. It was 
during dessert that the storm broke. Ranma was waiting for his 
cheesecake when the kitchen staff surrounded them and began to 
sing. He was slapped on the back several times, and congratulated 
numerous times as well. He looked down to where Akane was setting; 
the same thing was happening to her. He began to get a sinking 
feeling deep in his gut, which was confirmed by his father, who had 
reverted to panda form, and was dancing around with a huge sign 
that said, "Ranma and Akane finally did it. The dojo is secured!" 

Ranma was quick to his feet. With a single kick, he smashed the 
sign to pieces, hoping that not many of the other guests saw it. He 
realized the futility of his actions when the banner dropped from 
the ceiling, covering most of the wall, "Ranma and Akane did it! 
Long live the Anything Goes Martial Arts school!" 

He stood there on top of his father's large, panda stomach in a 
daze; however, his mother was quick to break him out of it, "My 
son, you are now a man. I knew that you would be a man among men. I 
am so proud of you!" Nodoka tightly hugged him. She was followed by 
a crying Soun, who embraced him. 

Daisuke and Hiroshi both slapped him on his back. Daisuke laughed, 
"Don't worry about us being made at you for lying to us; you can 
make it up to us by telling us the details!. 

Hiroshi slapped his back again, "We want to hear it all." 

Ranma did not respond as he was frozen with shock. He did not know 
when the wedding ceremony discussion began. In fact, he did not 
know much of anything until he and Akane were back in their room -- 
alone. 

"Ranma, this is all your fault. What are we going to do?" 

He shrugged, "It's not like anything happened. I guess we just go 
on with life like normal. They have been talking about our wedding 
ceremony since we became engaged, and they will talk about it until 
we are married. More important, where are you going to sleep?" 

Ranma did not know what he said. He only knew that she was furious, 
"Of all the insensitive things to say! First of all, this is my 
room. Aren't you the least bit chivalrous? The woman always gets 
the room, you jerk. But more important, didn't you hear them when 
they set the date for our wedding ceremony?" 

Ranma shook his head no. 

"It is this Friday! We have two days before we are married!" 

Ranma did not worry about where he spent the night because he was 
frozen in shock. 

********* 

Ukyo watch Ryu Hoshi lay the unconscious form of Ryoga on the 
nurse's examination table. She looked at the victor of their fight, 
"Did you have to hit him with that 'Dragon Punch' of yours? He is 
still unconscious?" Ukyo demanded of the man that she had met last 
night named Ryu. He was the strong, silent type Ukyo had decided. 

"I do not brutalize the weak," Ryu answered and then turned to the 
examining nurse, "He did hit his head hard on the deck during our 
fight. Do you think his brain might be damaged?" 

Ukyo smirked at that thought, "Nah, his head is too hard for much 
damage to have occurred. To tell the truth, the punch is probably 
not what knocked him out; it was probably Genma and his sign 
proclaiming the immediate wedding. I can't believe he and Mr. 
Tendou were dancing around the deck again." 

Ryu was taken aback that she had suggested that he was not the 
reason her friend was in this condition. "I hit rather hard. My 
technique is nearly perfect. I am sure that it is probably what 
felled your friend." 

"Yeah, whatever you say Mr. Hoshi, but I tell you that what really 
done him in was when Genma the panda came around the corner with 
the sign announcing Ranma and Akane's wedding." 

"I think that you underestimate the damage inflicted by my 
technique. He did not collapse when he saw the sign. He began to 
glow with energy that he was to be converted into a fireball aimed 
at me. Of course, I avoided this by attacking him before he was 
ready to release his fireball, but rest assured that it was my 
Dragon Punch that knocked him unconscious." 

"I don't mean to insult you, Honey. I just know how much he loved 
Akane. It was a tough blow for him. Ryoga's taken some pretty hard 
hits in his day, especially by Ranma. Ranma can really pack a hard 
punch, and Ryoga's took the abuse. But that sign..." 

"Are you saying that he would have defeated me if he had not saw 
the Panda with the sign dancing around? I assure you that I am a 
capable fighter, and I too have a lot of power in my attacks." 

"No, I'm not saying that; I saw how well you fought. I know that he 
probably would not have beaten you, but I think that Ranma-honey 
could." 

"Where could I find this Ranma? I assume from the Panda's sign that 
he is onboard the ship." 

"Yeah." 

"Tell your friend that I look forward to sparring with him again 
sometime." 

Ukyo's watched as he left the room without a farewell. She began to 
swab Ryoga's brow again. He was a nice looking guy if only he was 
not so dense. 

********* 

Morning found a still frozen Ranma on the couch. The boat swayed as 
it hit a large wave, throwing the poorly balanced boy to the floor, 
waking him with the impact. He was groggy at first as he looked 
around the room. Then the realization that he was in Akane's room 
dawned on him as the memories of last night flooded back. He looked 
toward the bed, but Akane was not there. He looked in the bathroom, 
but she was not there either. He had to find her. 

********* 

Joe Higashi was a shadow of himself. He had been up all night 
searching for Mihoshi's partner to no avail. He staggered up the 
stairs to Terry's room, carrying the sleeping Mihoshi. She had been 
sleeping in his arms most of the night; however, whenever he tried 
to put her down, she would come to and ask if he had found Kiyone. 
When he told her that he had not, she began to wail until she fell 
asleep in his arms again. She looked like an angel when she slept, 
especially since she was quiet. Except for when she had the dream 
about the pizza, she yelled for pizza and shifted in his arms, 
knocking him off balance, resulting in his plummeting down a flight 
of stairs. He was still aching from the fall, but Mihoshi was fine. 
He had absorbed the impact down the stairs, so she was left 
unharmed. She did not even wake. 

As he entered the room, he realized that Terry was not there. Joe 
was happy for his friend. He hoped that Terry had got lucky and 
that it would snap him out of his depression. Not only had he lost 
one love but two, so he believed that he was cursed toward women. 
Joe hoped that this feeling had change after last night. 

He laid Mihoshi down on the bed and passed out next to her. 

********* 

Kiyone awoke in bed and was quite startled by what she saw. 
Mihoshi's bed was empty. Kiyone began to worry a little about her 
partner. She was not really worried about her partner's safety; she 
knew that Mihoshi's blind luck would protect her. In actuality, she 
was worried that her partner had somehow damaged the ship, and they 
would all be lost at sea. 

She looked at the clock and decided that she would walk the ship to 
see if she saw any signs of trouble. Maybe then she could drop by 
Terry's cabin. 

He had been he perfect gentleman when he had walked her back to her 
cabin. He had given her a chaste kiss and then bid her good night. 
She could tell from his behavior and what little he had said about 
his past that he was taking it slow and easy with her due to fear 
stemming from past injuries. She could understand his hesitance. 

She quickly showered and dressed for her walk, a large smile upon 
her face. 

********* 

Washu ran her experiment in her laboratory that she had connected 
to her cabin's closet by dimensional portals. She knew that 
something was strange about Terry Bogard. She had run several test 
on him after she had kidnaped him last night, but she still had not 
come to any conclusions. She did not fret because she was Washu the 
greatest scientist in the universe. "I am the greatest!" 

On cue, "A" popped onto her shoulder, "Washu you are the greatest!" 

"B" popped onto her other shoulder, "Washu you are a genius!" 

"A" and "B" began to chant, "Washu is the greatest in the 
universe!" 

Terry, meanwhile, watched in pensive silence. He wondered three 
things: who was this woman, what was her purpose, and where were 
his clothes. The last thing that he remembered was leaving Kiyone's 
cabin and coming upon a young, red-hair girl trying to haul her 
luggage up the stairs. Terry, being the gentleman that he is, 
offered his help to the little girl. When he bent over and grabbed 
the suitcases, she pulled some weird sort of pistol on him and 
fired. He felt like a fool, especially as the trio continued to 
chant, "Washu, Washu, Washu..." 

********* 

Akane passed along the deck lost in thought on her way to the gym 
in her gi. It was apparent that Ranma did not want to marry her. He 
might care for her a little, but he did not love her. She had been 
a fool to think other wise. She was so consumed by her thoughts 
that she walked right into something hard as she entered the gym. 
She was about to fall backward when she felt as strong hand clamp 
onto her shoulder. She had run into the back of her rescuer, who 
was a nice looking Japanese man. She immediately blushed, "Excuse 
me. I wasn't watching where I was going." 

"It is alright." He said simply. She stepped back from him, 
noticing that he was wearing a gi as well. 

"You must be a martial artist, too! I'm here for my morning 
exercise. I study the Anything Goes Martial Arts; how about you?" 

"I study Shotokan." 

"I really need to let off some steam, and I really don't like to 
work out alone. Would you like to spar?" She smiled in 
embarrassment; he looked pretty tough. He probably did not want to 
fight a girl. She was about to comment on this fact when he spoke. 

"Fine. I have yet to fight anyone from the Anything Goes School? 
Where is it located?" 

"Nerima, Japan is where my family's dojo is." 

By the time they were ready to fight, Akane had blurted out all 
about Ranma Saotome her "so-called" fianc,. He could tell by the 
ways she talked that she was in love with him, and she was upset 
that he did not seem to love her. Ryu was glad that he had avoided 
relationships especially when he remembered all the problems that 
it caused Ken. 

It was apparent to Ryu that Akane was a talented martial artist, 
and eventually she might even be competition for him; however, she 
was no match for him now. Even though he had dodged or blocked her 
all punches and kicks, she still gave her best. Ryu was impressed 
with her spirit. He was not a brute who enjoyed making people feel 
weaker than him, so he held back not wanting to hurt her. 

He was about to end their fight when he heard someone call out to 
Akane, "What do you think you are doing? He is obviously holding 
back. Gee, Akane, why do you always have to pick fights like a 
tomboy." 

Ryu turned to see that the speaker was a medium tall male with 
black hair that went into a pig-tail. He did not have time to greet 
the new comer because Akane was in his face. "Ranma, why don't you 
just mind your own business. I knew that he was holding back. You 
know I can take care of myself." 

"Yeah, I guess that I should not have doubted a tomboy like you. 
You're man enough for the both of us..." He did not get a chance to 
finish his insulting comment because Akane's punch sent him flying 
through the window of the gym across the ship. 

Ryu was startled by such power as he watched the pig-tailed boy 
fly. Obviously, Akane had a lot of untapped potential and raw 
power. 

"Akane, would you like to me to teach you some pointers?" 

********* 

Akane was not the only woman frustrated with her so-called 
significant other. Mai could kill Andy. She knew that he cared for 
her, but maybe he did not love her enough to marry her or maybe he 
did not love her at all. He would marry her if he did. She was on 
the verge of tears when she heard a commotion behind her. 

She turned around just in time to have a midget attached to her 
chest. She screamed in frustration and anger, "Get off me you 
lecher!" 

She managed to pry him off her bosom just in time for Andy to punch 
him across the ship again. "Mai, are you alright?" 

"I'm fine. I just want to be left alone right now." 

"Okay, Mai. Have I done something?" 

She answered him honestly, "No." He had done nothing -- he had not 
proposed. She walked away feeling despair throughout her heart. She 
walked till she was out of Andy's sight and then she slumped down 
and began to cry. She stiffened when she heard a woman's voice. 

"Dear, are you alright?" She was a beautiful lady who appeared to 
be in her late thirties. She smiled at Mai again, "My name is 
Nodoka. You look like you are in need of someone to talk to?" 

"My name is Mai." She wiped her tears away. "I think that the man I 
love doesn't love me." Mai could not believe that she had just 
spilled her guts, but the woman had such a nice, maternal nature 
that she felt instantly secure talking to her. "I guess that I 
might as well give up." 

"Now dear, has he said that he does not love you?" Mai shook her 
head no. "Has he been flirting with other women?" Mai shook her 
head no again. "If he is like the men that I know, he is probably 
one that does not like to talk about what he is feeling, right?" 
Mai nodded yes. "You see dear; don't give up just yet. Maybe you 
should try making him jealous. Sometimes men don't know what they 
have until it is gone." 

An idea hit Mai, "Thank you so much for your advice and listening 
to my problems?" Mai took of running and yelled over her shoulder, 
"It was nice to meet you!" 

She almost ran over a brown haired man with a face that looked like 
it had taken to many beatings. "Excuse me," she called out as she 
was about to take off again. Stopping dead in her tracks, she 
decided to put in motion her big plan. "Hi, my name is Mai, so do 
you have a date for tonight." 

Dan Hibiki pinched himself, but he did not feel anything; yet, he 
did not despair to think that it was a dream. He was so accustomed 
to pain that he figured it would take more than a little pinch to 
experience pain. He then resorted to head-butting the wall next to 
him, "It's not a dream," he cried, "I could actually feel that!" 

Mai watched him, wondering what kind of nut he was. 

"My name is Dan Hibiki. I would love to go out with you!" Dan had a 
permanent smile on his face; his luck was finally changing. He 
could hardly believe that such a good looking babe had talked to 
him. 

Dan turned away from Mai, and began to jump like a school girl 
across the deck. 



"Ratchoo!" 

********* 

Kiyone looked everywhere for Mihoshi, yet she was no where to be 
found. She decided to stop by Terry's cabin to ask him for help. 
Mihoshi must be found before everyone was inadvertently stranded in 
the middle of the ocean by one of her accidents. 

She was about to knock on the door when she noticed that it was 
cracked open. Alarms went off in her mind. She went into a 
defensive posture as she eased into the room; however, no defense 
in the world could have prevented her from yelling, "Mihoshi, what 
are you doing in bed with Joe?" 

At the sound of Kiyone's angry voice, Joe jumped out of bed and 
prepared to flee. He was abruptly stopped by a dirty look from 
Kiyone. 

Mihoshi woke with a yawn and stretch. "I have never felt more 
relaxed!" 

Kiyone growled, "What are you doing here? I looked all over the 
ship for you this morning!" 

Mihoshi looked at her and began to wail, "You didn't want to eat 
dinner with me. You abandoned me to sit with that guy and didn't 
even invite me over. Then you disappeared after dinner, so Joe 
offered to help me find you. We looked for you all night long!" 

Joe corrected, "I looked for you all night while I carried Mihoshi, 
who was asleep, around." 

Kiyone gave him the "stay out of this if you value you life" look. 

"Mihoshi, of all the idiotic things to do, I went back to my cabin 
after dinner with Terry, and then he went back to his cabin. Why 
didn't you look at our cabin first?" 

"How was I supposed to figure that out?" Mihoshi's wail was at a 
all new level of noise pollution. 

Joe, concerned for Terry, spoke, "You mean that Terry was the guy 
that you had dinner with? As in Terry Bogard?" 

Kiyone yelled at Joe, "Would you stay out of this!" She focused her 
attention again on her partner, "Everyone with a brain knows to 
check the person's room before they go searching the entire ship. 
It was the first thing that you are taught at the Galaxy Police 
Academy for a missing persons situation!" 

Joe, twiddling his fingers, asked "Where is Terry now?" 

"I told you to be silent..." the enormity of what Joe said hit 
Kiyone. "You mean he never came back here?" 

"He wasn't here when we got back, and we did not see him while we 
searched for you?" Joe blamed himself for Terry's absence; he knew 
that something terrible had happened to his friend, and it was his 
fault. He could see Terry now being stomped by burly, Amazon women 
with boots that had spiked heals, and he was being beat by the 
leader who held a cat-of-nine-tails. Joe was completely panicking, 
"I have cursed Terry now!" 

Kiyone slapped Joe across the face to stop him from running around 
the room in an anxiety attack, "Cursed Terry, what nonsense! He is 
probably out sight seeing, and you did not get back before his 
left." 

Joe still not assured, "You said that you looked all over the ship 
for Mihoshi. Shouldn't you have run across him?" 

"Maybe he went to Andy's cabin last night." Kiyone suggest although 
she was thinking the worst; he was probably with some other woman. 
He was just stringing her along. "Or he went to stay with another 
woman." 

Joe frowned, "He must be with Andy because I doubt that he would 
have went out with another chick after he went on a date with you; 
Terry is a good guy." 

Although Kiyone did not completely trust Joe's statement, she 
decided that Terry needed to be found just in case he was in 
trouble, "Let's go to Andy's room first." 

"What are we doing?" Mihoshi asked with a blank look on her face. 

Kiyone's vein in her right temple began to pulsate, "Haven't you 
listened to a word we said? Terry might be in trouble. We need to 
find him to see if his is safe!" 

Mihoshi began to wail again; however, to Joe's delight, he could 
not hear her after he had been deafened by Kiyone's screaming. 

********* 

To be continued... 

Ranma quickly made his way back to the gym from his point of 
impact. As he went along, his paranoia about what the guy was doing 
with Akane increased. By the time he reached the gym, he was ready 
to kill the would be kidnapper, who was going to swipe Akane and 
make her marry him. 

He walked into the gym to find Akane being taught by the would be 
bride-napper. "What are you doing Akane?" 

"Mr. Hoshi is giving me some pointers from his Shotokon school of 
martial arts." Akane looked at the guy and smiled. Ranma frowned 
even more. 

"I see. You found someone that you like better than me!" 

"What are you talking about Ranma? You must have landed on your 
head!" 

"Hoshi, I challenge you to a match for Akane!" 

"I accept Ranma Saotome." 

A collective gasp was heard throughout the gym; Ranma, Ryu, and 
Akane were taken aback at the crowd that had gathered in the gym, 
Ranma thought to himself, "When did all of these people get here?" 

A blonde male was coming toward Ryu, "Hey, Eliza, Ryu is here, so I 
can challenge someone too!" 

A thud echoed throughout the room as a large purse met with Ken's 
skull, "Fine. Challenge me, Goldilocks!" Eliza hauled Ken back to 
their room by his ponytail. 

Ryu was about to call of this nonsense and catch up with Ken; he 
had more important matters to be dealt with since he found Ken when 
a guy wearing a uniform of Chinese origins appeared before them. 

Akane and Ranma commented simultaneously, "The Jusenkyo Guide?" 

"I volunteer to be the official referee for the match. We will hold 
it here tonight at 7:00 p.m. after dinner!" The Jusenkyo guide 
beamed with pleasure. 

Dan Hibiki felt pity for the pig-tailed boy; he turned to his 
beautiful companion, "Ryu is going to slaughter him. He is one of 
the best fighters in the world..." His comment was cut short as he 
was plowed over by a panda. 

Ryu did not know what to do as the panda advance; he was prepared 
to subdue it when it began to scribble on a sign, which read, "What 
are you thinking to challenge someone who you know nothing about 
for your fiance?" The panda wanted to get this idea into the pig-
tailed boy's head so much so that he began to swing the sign at 
Ranma's head. 

Before the panda made contact, he was pushed out of a way by a man 
with a moustache in Samurai armor, crying his eyes out, "Ranma, how 
could you do this?". He held a bow with an arrow pointed aimed at 
Ranma, who quickly fled with the Samurai in pursuit followed by the 
panda followed by the curious crowd. 

Akane was left with Ryu. She looked to Ryu, "I'm really sorry about 
this. I don't understand what got into Ranma." 

Ryu smiled, "There is no need for you to apologize. I understand 
that when men succumb to emotions that they do strange, rash 
things." Ryu immediately thought of Ken. 

"I'm so glad you understand, so you aren't going to fight Ranma." 
Akane sighed with relief. 

"I'm sorry Akane, but he challenged me in public. I cannot back out 
on the fight." 

"What happens if you win?" 

Ryu pondered the idea, "I had not planned on marrying before I had 
perfected my techniques to teach to my sons, but I could not go 
against my word since I accepted the challenge." 

Ryu looked at Akane just in time to catch her as she fainted. 

Mai was tugging on Dan, trying to free him from the deck; however, 
the shirt covering her bikini was chaffing her neck. She pulled it 
off and began he task again. As she bent over in her small bikini, 
the janitors workers that were cleaning up the mess left by the 
crowd watched in perverse glee until one by one the hit the deck. 

When Dan was freed, Mai looked up to see the bodies of the workers 
on the floor, so she immediately called for the nurse on the 
emergency telephone. 

********* 

"Washu, can I go now? I'm sure that my friends are worried about 
me." Terry looked at the evil scientist who held him hostage. He 
could tell that he had successfully reasoned with her by the way 
she looked at him with understanding and sympathy in her eyes. 

She smiled, "No." She began to giggle mischievously. 

"Let me out of here!" Terry demanded. 

"Listen, this is for Kiyone's own good. I don't know what is wrong 
with you yet, but I will find out to protect Kiyone." 

"Why do you want to help her? Aren't you evil?" 

She giggled, "Yes, but I have my reasons." 

"A" and "B" popped out, "She is a genius with genius reasons! Washu 
is the greatest!" 

In a whirl of motion, Washu assumed the dress of a professor and 
pulled down a projector screen. The screen flashed an equation that 
symbolized her argument which she followed with her pointer to 
explain, "Although Mihoshi visits frequently enough, Kiyone is the 
only thing keeping Mihoshi from living at the Masaki house where my 
lab is located. When Mihoshi comes near my lab, things go wrong. 
Therefore, if Kiyone is harmed, Mihoshi will be at the Masaki house 
all the time, and she will be crying because of Kiyone's demise. 
All of my experiments will fail with her around. I would be thrown 
years behind schedule. Do you understand?" 

Terry nodded. "When will you be done with me?" 

"It won't take me long. Two years at the most." 

Terry bowed his head, "Why me?" 

********* 

Nabiki wanted to strangle that idiot Ranma, but not nearly as much 
as she wanted to strangle that idiot Kuno. "I shall wait for 
Saotome's defeat, and then I shall challenge this Ryu Hoshi for 
Akane's hand in marriage. Heaven itself will weep with joy for me 
and my beloved when I have won her for myself." 

"Reality check here Kuno. If Ranma loses to Ryu, then you will 
definitely lose to him." 

"Why did you utter such drivel words that scar my ears with their 
barbs?" 

"Kuno, it's called the truth. You can't beat Ranma much less anyone 
stronger than him. Besides, Ranma hasn't lost yet." 

"Why did you place the money I gave you on the wager against Ranma 
then?" 

"I'm not deaf. I heard what the passengers are saying about Ryu." 

"Me thinks that you are a hypocrite." 

"Well, met thinks that you are an imbecile." 

"Ah, yes, the honey that doest pour from your lips." 

Nabiki was about to insult him again, but she resisted the impulse, 
reminding herself of her plan. She instead grabbed his hand, "Let's 
stroll the deck, Kuno." 

Kuno was shocked to say the least by Nabiki's almost nice behavior. 

********* 

Joe, Kiyone, and Mihoshi found Andy on the upper deck; he 
apparently was searching for someone himself. 

"Hey, Andy, have you seen Terry?" Joe asked his friend as he looked 
for Mai. He found it odd that Mai was not at Andy's side. 

"Not since dinner. Have you seen Mai around?" Andy asked as he 
continued to look through the crowd. 

"Ah, man, have we lost two people now?" Joe cried as he began to 
brow beat himself for his cursed luck that had infected his 
friends. "Now I have cursed two people!" 

Andy slapped Joe back to reality, "What do you mean 'lost two 
people now'?" 

Kiyone stepped forward, "We can't find Terry. He just disappeared 
after he walked me to my cabin last night." 

Andy began to curse, and Kiyone was about to tell him off. It was 
not her fault that Terry was missing. However, Andy stepped around 
her and stalked down his true target -- the man that was with Mai. 
"Mai, what is going on?" 

Mai, who was arm and arm with Dan, smiled at Andy, "Andy, this is 
my new date for this evening, Dan Hibiki. Dan, this was my date for 
this evening before I figured out that he doesn't really love me." 
Mai turned to Dan, "Can you believe that he doesn't want to marry 
me?" 

Dan violently shook his head no, and then addressed Andy, "What is 
wrong with you?" 

Andy was about to put this man into the deck when Joe came between 
them, "Listen. I don't know what is going on between you two, but 
we have more important problems. Terry is missing, and he could be 
in trouble, so let's just put this on hold for a couple of hours 
until we find Terry." 

Joe was proud of himself and his actions; however, he had to 
begrudgingly admit that his words were not what stopped the fight, 
but Mihoshi's wails, "Why is everyone always fighting?" 

The group began begging her to be quiet; she stopped only when they 
promised to keep the peace. 

They divided up into pairs of two and proceeded to search the ship 
again. Joe had his doubts that Andy was concentrating since he was 
cursing Dan Hibiki, Andy did not have any doubts about killing Dan, 
Kiyone had her doubts that Mihoshi was helping since she was still 
wailing, Mihoshi doubted that she would ever eat again, Mai had her 
doubts that Andy loved her, and Dan had no doubts about the deep 
seed physical urges to get Mai alone. With the group in this mental 
state, Terry would remain hidden for the rest of his days. 

********* 

Akane sat in the medical station still unable to believe that in a 
few short hours that she could be married and not to Ranma. The 
nurse was retelling the story of some male chauvinist who had been 
in the medical station several times yesterday to Ryu; she also 
mention about the unusually high amount of people who had suffered 
heart attacks and strokes. 

Akane lowered herself off the table quietly, hoping to sneak away 
without either of them hearing her. She almost made it to the door, 
"Are you feeling well enough to walk Akane?" 

Akane turned around with the most falsely sincere face, "I feel 
fine. I'm going back to my cabin now. Thank you for bringing me 
here." She turned and ran for the door, leaving Ryu and the nurse 
to watch her get away. 

By the time Akane reached her room, she was exhausted. "Ranma, why 
did you have to challenge him. He is such a good fighter, and 
everyone thinks that he'll win. You jerk!" 

She was glad that he was not in the room to hear her ranting. She 
laid down on the bed and began to sob uncontrollably. 

********* 

They had been searching for Terry for hours with no luck. They 
searched everywhere imaginable, but there was no sign of him. They 
decided to meet back at the last place where he was known to be, 
Kiyone's and Mihoshi's cabin. 

Joe paced around the room, "I'm really worried about Terry. It is 
not like him to stay away like this without any word of his 
whereabouts. I just know my luck rubbed off on him, and he is being 
held hostage by some crazy woman. I killed one of my best friends! 
I am to blame; it's all my fault. Why does my life suck so much?" 
Joe stopped his tirade to allow others to comfort him and assure 
him that he was not to blame, and Terry was fine. 

The others were to busy fighting amongst themselves to bother with 
Joe. Mai was giving dirty looks to Andy, who was giving dirty looks 
to Dan, who was ogling Mai's chest. Kiyone was trying to kill the 
wailing Mihoshi. Joe was astounded; he was the only sane person 
here. 

"Would you people knock it off?" Joe screamed as loud as he could. 

The others stopped what they were doing and looked at him. Mihoshi 
stopped wailing, "Why don't we ask Washu if she can develop a 
device to scan for Terry?" 

Kiyone pitched her forehead forward to meet her palms. "Why didn't 
I think of that? Come on there is no time to spare." 

********* 

"Can I at least have my clothes back? It's kind of chilly in here!" 
Terry asked his captor. 

She smiled at him as she looked over his nude body, "No." She 
giggled again as she entered data on her keyboard. 

"Surely my clothes can't fool up any of your scans." 

"No, they can't because I'm done scanning you." 

"Why can't I have my clothes back then?" 

She giggled, "I like the view." 

Terry bowed his head again, "I should have known." 

********* 

Ranma leaned on the railing as he watched the ocean. He could not 
believe that he not only challenged that guy but for Akane's hand 
to boot without knowing anything about him. He now knew that Ryu 
Hoshi was a skilled street fighter, who had one many tournaments. 
According to Nabiki, the odds were one to twenty that he would win. 
He slumped as he thought about it. 

He could not lose. Akane would be lost to him if he did. She would 
be married to Ryu, and he would never see her again. He felt 
depression wash over him. 

He could not lose Akane; he had never told her that he... 

"Ranma Saotome, what were you thinking?" Ryoga yelled as he 
descended from his jump to the space beside Ranma. "I have fought 
Ryu Hoshi, and he won hands down. How could you challenge him for 
Akane's hand? I might have won her from you, but I couldn't win her 
from him. I will never have the chance to express to Akane my love 
for her. I will..." 

Ranma's kick sent him into the wall. "Don't you think I know what a 
dumb move I made? Don't you think that I don't understand what 
losing means? I can't lose Akane. I lo..er..like her." 

"Ranma Saotme, what were you thinking to challenge Ryu Hoshi with 
the stakes being Akane Tendou?" Mousse asked as he landed near 
Ranma. 

"Don't you start in on me too, Mousse! I've already had to escape 
from Mr. Tendou and my parents, so don't you two start after me." 
Ranma dodged the quickly descending Bokuto, coming face to face 
with Kuno. 

"Ranma Saotome, you have lowered yourself a thousand fold by 
wagering the fair hand of my beloved Akane!" Kuno began to weep 
unabashedly. 

Ranma lowered his head into his hands as he tried not to lose his 
sanity. "What am I going to do?" 

Mousse put a hand on his shoulder, "Don't fret Saotome. We will 
think of something." 

"I will help you Ranma, but on the understanding, it is so I'll 
have a chance to win Akane," Ryoga promised. 

"I will help you as well, Saotome." Kuno swore. "Let us go to my 
cabin." 

Mousse put his hand on Ranma's shoulder as they walked to Kuno's 
cabin. 

********* 

Nabiki Tendou lounged on her bed, listening to music for 
inspiration. She had yet to come up with an idea to snag Kuno. She 
rolled over on her back and looked at her ceiling. It came to her 
then. She briskly sat up on her bed. It was so simple, really, and 
she had complete faith in her ability to pull it off. Kuno would 
not know what hit him. 

********* 

The group arrived at Washu's cabin, but before Kiyone could knock, 
Mihoshi just walked through the door. Kiyone felt homicidal rage 
almost overtaking her again. "Mihoshi, it is impolite not to knock 
before entering!" 

Mihoshi was paid no heed to Kiyone's instruction. Instead, she 
began to prowl around the room. 

Kiyone's head began to throb from frustration, "Mihoshi, what are 
you doing?" 

Mihoshi looked at Kiyone, tears forming in her eyes, "I'm so 
hungry! I just want some food!" She opened the closet, "I wonder if 
there is any food in here." She disappeared into the closet. 

Landing on her rump, Mihoshi looked up to see Washu cease typing on 
her keyboard. "What are you doing here in my laboratory?" Washu 
cried in panic at seeing Mihoshi near her experiments. 

"I'm looking for food and him," Mihoshi pointed to Terry, who was 
humiliated beyond measure that someone else saw him here in the 
buff. "Washu, are you holding him hostage?" 

"Of course not, I just need him for a few experiments." Washu 
looked even more frustrated when Joe, Andy, Dan, Kiyone, and Mai 
landed on her lab's floor. 

"Terry, what is going on here?" Andy asked. He immediately averted 
his gaze from his brother when he noticed the fact Terry was nude. 

"Have we interrupted something here, Terry?" Joe asked with a 
perverse smile. 

Kiyone knew what was happening, "What are you doing to him," she 
addressed Washu, and then turned to Terry, "She didn't get a sample 
of your semen; did she?" 

Terry was relieved that Washu took the initiative, "I'm not going 
to clone him. I just ran some scans on him. I have come to the 
scientific conclusion that..." 

Everyone leaned toward Washu as she dramatically paused. Kiyone was 
not as patient, "Go on with it." 

"Terry Bogard..." Everyone leaned closer still to Washu. 

"Is cursed!" Everyone fell over with the last remark. 

Joe jumped to his feet, "I knew that I had cursed him. It's all my 
fault. What have I done?" 

Washu pressed a key on the keyboard, resulting in a discharge of 
electricity hitting the panicked Joe. 

"Oh!" Joe cried. 

Washu continued with her explanation, "Notice the projector 
screen," Washu moved to stand beside it, her pointer highlighting a 
strange looking equation, "I started with a simple 1+1=2 equation; 
however, my scans reveal an 'x' between 1+1=x=1. The 'x' is what 
causes the warping of the equation, resulting in 1+1=1 and not 2. 
Do you understand?" 

The group shook their heads no. 

"Terry dating a woman does not result in two but in one because the 
woman will die or be injured depending on the ratio of time Terry 
spends with them multiplied by the intensity of his feelings for 
them." 

Terry looked at Andy, "I told you that I was cursed to lose every 
woman I love! It's why I am the Lone Wolf!" 

"Alright!" Joe cried as he danced around the lab for joy, "Terry's 
curse wore off on me and not vice versa. I haven't destroyed his 
life!" 

Another zap of electricity silenced Joe, who looked annoyed at 
Washu, "Would you be quiet! You are not cursed; you are just a 
lousy pick-up artist!" 

Joe's face fell, "Oh." 

"The curse can be broken, but it will take the work of your 
friends. Joe and Andy, isn't it? You must be brave to help Terry. 
You will be required to do things that you will find uncomfortable, 
but it is the only way to help. Will you help him?" 

Joe looked at Washu, "How do you know the curse can be removed?" 

Terry could have killed Joe for asking the question because he knew 
what would happen next, and how long it would postpone his 
departure from this prison. 

"A" and "B" appeared and chanted away, "Washu is a genius. The 
greatest in the universe! Washu! Washu!" 

********* 

Thanks to the efforts of the nurse who had called registry, Ryu was 
knocking on Ken's cabin door. He heard a commotion in the room, and 
the door was opened by Eliza. "Hello, Ryu. He's on the bed." 

"What do you expect Eliza; you hit me with that lead weight you 
call a purse." 

"Oh, quit whining. I apologized for losing my temper." 

"No, you didn't. You said that you were sorry that I made you lose 
your temper. That's no apology!" 

"Well, I'm not going to now after hearing your surly tone. I'm 
going shopping and leave you two boys to get into your fights. 
Bye!" 

Ken sat up in bed, "What are you doing here? Don't tell me you've 
got some chick hid out?" 

Ryu frowned, "I am here on important business. I have been 
searching all over for Akuma, and I felt a source of great evil 
energy onboard this ship. I stowed away and have been searching 
since then. I heard one of the passengers, who was a fan of street 
fighting, mention how excited he was that Ken Masters was onboard, 
so I have been searching for you as well." 

Ken smiled mischievously, "You have been busy. I'm glad that you 
found time to squeeze a match in for the girl." 

"I had no control over that," Ryu shrugged as he pondered, "There 
is something about this ship; it's like all laws of nature have 
been annulled." 

"It's almost like fate is working over-time." 

"How lucky that you and Eliza managed to win these tickets for the 
boat where Akuma could be." 

"Luck had nothing to do with it. I bribed the official working on 
the raffle." 

Ryu looked at Ken with disappointment, "Where is your honor?" 

"You've never been married Ryu; when the wife gets her heart set on 
something, you try to make it happen. Because ten years down the 
road, she'll remember, and you will suffer. Don't judge me until 
you face the puppy dog eyes of a beautiful woman!" 

Ryu snorted at the thought. 

"Hey, speaking of marriage, what are you going to do with the chick 
once you win her?" 

"I will marry her as I agreed." 

Ken's face went pale, "Don't tell me after all these years you have 
developed a sense of humor, Ryu." Ken noticed the confusion in 
Ryu's expression, "You're joking, right?" 

"No." 

At his answer, Ken pitched forward off the bed. He jumped to his 
feet and began to yell, "Not only do you not love this girl, but 
you don't even know her." 

Ryu shrugged, "Love makes a man weak. Besides, in the time I spent 
teaching her martial arts pointers, I determined that she has a 
great fighting spirt, raw power, and great strength. These are 
attributes that I would gladly pass on to my children." 

"Ryu, you have been training too long." 

"Enough on this topic, will you help me if I find Akuma?" 

Ken decided not to push his argument on deaf ears, "Yeah, I'll 
help. Just don't tell Eliza. Man, if she found out, I would be in 
the dog house big time." 

********* 

Joe and Andy were not happy. They would help Terry, but they would 
complain the entire time. Joe whined as he looked at Washu, "What 
does all this stuff have to do with lifting Terry's curse?" 

Washu looked at him, "I have explained it twenty times in the past 
thirty minutes! We need enormous amounts of laughter to lift the 
curse." 

"Well, I just don't see why we have to do all of this! It seems 
silly..." Joe was cut off in the middle of his statement as he was 
turned into to a water sprite with a little amphibian body and duck 
bill on his face. 

Dan Hibiki began to laugh at the Joe in sprite form, running in 
circles around Washu, "See what happens when you call my ideas 
silly." 

Dan began to laugh even more when Joe tripped over his own feet and 
tumbled into the wall. Washu looked at him, "You're getting too 
much enjoyment out of his condition." She smiled with amusement as 
she turned Dan into a water sprite. 

With prodding from Mihoshi and Kiyone, Andy, Mai, and Terry stifled 
their laughter at seeing Dan and Joe running around in circles, 
bumping into each other. 

Terry decided to use reason with Washu, "Will you please change 
them back to help with my curse?" 

Washu walked over and pinched Terry's check, "No." 

"Washu, you have proven your great intelligence to them. Why not 
change them back?" Tenchi spoke from the entrance as he watched the 
farce occurring in psyedospace. 

Washu smiled, "I'll change them back for you Tenchi!" With that, 
Joe and Dan were reverted back to normal, each checking the other 
to see if they were okay. 

"What's going on Washu? Why is that nude man restrained?" 

Kiyone preceded to tell Tenchi the plan much to his disdain. 

********* 

Loud crashing noises stopped those that passed by Kuno's room. 
People would look expectantly at each other to see who would be 
brave enough to enter; however, no one ever attempted it. 

"Ranma, this will develop your resistance to pain!" Ryoga yelled as 
he broke another chair over his head; his maniacal laugh could be 
heard above the crashes. 

Mousse intervened, "I don't think that this is the training he 
needs Ryoga.." 

Ryoga clipped, "Oh, shut up duck boy!" 

Mousse was pushed out of the way by the rapidly advancing Kuno into 
the wall on the other side of the room, "Methinks the turn belongs 
to me!" 

His annoyance to new levels, Mousse peeled himself off the wall. He 
had to stop this or these two idiots would allow their hate to 
overcome their judgement and beat Ranma to death before he had a 
chance to face his opponent. Then an idea struck Mousse, he could 
use his new throwing knives with the paralysis drug on them. 

Ryoga crashed the television upon Ranma's head, screaming madly, 
"How dare you force yourself upon Akane!" 

"T'will be thy punishment for the tainting of my beloved Akane 
Tendou," Kuno yelled over the television's crash as he hit Ranma 
with the nightstand. 

As the two alternated between breaking various pieces of furniture 
over Ranma's head, Mousse rapidly searched his robe, "I don't think 
that they're with the cannon, but maybe they are with the 
torpedoes..." 

"What do you two idiots think that you are doing?" Nabiki screamed 
from the door in disbelief. 

Kasumi went over to the nearly unconscious Ranma. Concerned for his 
well being, she gently examined his injuries all the while he 
weakly sang. Kasumi looked at Ranma's torturers, "Oh my, I hope 
Ranma is going to be able to fight his opponent. Why were you 
hitting him with the furniture?" 

At Kasumi's question, Ryoga bent his head, "We were training 
him...pain resistance training." Ryoga spewed one of his anxious 
laughs as he twiddled his thumbs. 

Nabiki used the direct approach as she brought down Kuno's 
discarded Bokoto upon his arrogant head, "I told you that Ranma was 
the only hope for Akane, and what do you two do but beat him to the 
point where he may be of no use to us. You are so pathetic!" 

Kuno stared at her as knots began to form on his head, "That hurts 
Nabiki Tendou." 

"Well, look who is Sherlock Holmes here. It's supposed to hurt, you 
idiot." 

On the other side of the room, Kasumi and Ryoga, at Kasumi's 
prompting, helped Ranma to his feet. She spoke to him, "Ranma, you 
must wake up; you're fight is in four hours." 

Ranma answered in a song, "Don't cry China Boy..." 

Ryoga began to laugh nervously again as they made their way through 
the door to the nurse's station. 

Nabiki hit Kuno again with all her might for good measure and then 
turned to follow the trio, stepping over his unconscious body. 

Mousse, unaware of their departure, stopped his search and jumped 
for joy, "I have found them. They were with my portable Jacuzzi!" 
He looked around and saw no one but Kuno on the floor, "Where did 
everyone go?" He raced toward the door, tripping on Kuno. 

As he sat up, Mousse realized that he did not have his glasses. He 
began to feel around the floor for them. He patted on Kuno's chest 
and was about to try on the other side of him when he was embraced 
by a delirious Kuno, "My love, the glorious Pig-Tailed Girl or 
Akane Tendou. Your maidenly shyness as you tenderly examine my body 
delights me as nothing else." 

Mousse struggled to break free when he heard a thud and Kuno became 
lax. He was helped to his feet and given his glasses back, "Mousse, 
you be careful more. Kuno nuts!" Shampoo spoke as she grasped 
Mousse's hand and led him to the door. 

"My beautiful Shampoo, how did you know I was here?" 

Shampoo cuddled into his embrace, "Silly Mousse. Followed 
crashing." 

********* 

Joe, Andy, Terry, Dan, and Tenchi stood at the door of Washu's 
cabin, preparing for battle. Each looked deathly pale with fright. 
Each had a frilly pair of panties on their heads and bras around 
their chest. 

Mai was there to cheer them on, "Come on guys. Remember this is for 
Terry's sake! You can do it!" 

They grumbled to themselves in response. 

Washu held her stop watch; she had transformed into a referee's 
uniform, "Remember the rules. If you run around like that, it will 
stir up enough laughter for me to break the curse. Ready, set, go!" 

No one moved. 

Kiyone responded to the problem, "Mihoshi, did you know they are 
going to cancel dinner tonight. There will be no food!" 

Sweat beads appeared on the men's brows. 

Mihoshi began to whimper, and she opened her mouth to wail. 

The men were out the door. 

********* 

Serena had to make this putt, or she would lose again to Darien. 
She prepared for her strike, pulled back, and swung. It was a 
beautiful, strait shot; it was a pity that it went strait off the 
miniature golf course into the ocean. She bowed her head in defeat 
as Darien's laughter reached her ears. 

Serena turned around to tell Darien that his laughter hurt her 
feelings when she saw that he was paying no attention to her, but 
to some men running around with underwear on them. She joined 
Darien in laughter. 

Darien put his arm around her, "Did you make your shot?" 

Serena, still giggling, "No, I haven't putted yet. I was distracted 
by those weird guys." 

"Where is your ball?" 

"Oh, no. It must have been blown off the ship or something. How 
about we call it a draw?" 

********* 

"Kusanagi, how dare you flip up my skirt! You are such a pervert!" 
Momiji was about to slap him when she saw the men with underwear on 
them. She began to giggle. 

Kusanagi frowning as he looked at her, and then he saw them and 
began to laugh. 

They watched as the five men ran around the deck. 

"You know, Momiji; they should have borrowed some of your little 
girl panties for a greater effect." 

She slapped him with all her might. 

********* 

"Hey, Ralley, isn't that the Joe guy I blew up earlier running 
around with panties on his head?" Minnie May nearly fell off her 
chair as she laughed. 

"I guess you must have damage him more than you thought." Ralley 
replied as she laughed. 

They began to laugh uncontrollably. 

********* 

Soun Tendou in Samurai armor and Genma in panda form were searching 
diligently for the Pig-Tailed Boy when they caught sight of the men 
with underwear on their heads. 

"Saotome, did I just see what I think I saw?" Soun turned to look 
at the sign Genma had just wrote. 

"You did Tendou." 

They began to laugh violently as Genma rolled on the deck and Soun 
lend upon the rail; unfortunately while sprawling, Genma hit Soun 
nearly knocking him over the rail into the ocean. 

Genma grabbed Soun, who was barely holding onto the railing since 
the weight of the armor was pulling him toward the ocean. The panda 
began to pull Soun up when he heard the dreaded noise. 

"Sweeto!" The evil master landed on Genma's back in his pursuit of 
the underwear, knocking him off balance. 

"Browr!" was all Genma had a chance to groan as he tipped overboard 
with Soun. 

********* 

To be continued... 

Ryu and Ken were in route to the gym when the five men with 
underwear on their heads ran by them. Ken immediately began to 
laugh at the fools; Ryu, however, was perplexed as to why men would 
do this. 

Ryu stood watching them run across the deck when he was pushed 
backward by something landing and pushing off of his face. He fell 
back into the laughing Ken who fell onto his butt. 

The irate pair looked at the cause of their fall, and were shocked 
to see a small man with a bag of underwear on his shoulder standing 
there, battle aura spilling off his form. He spoke a solemn oath, 
"How dare those men maim those poor panties and braziers with their 
putrid, masculine odor! I will stop them my lacy beauties! I will 
free you!" At that, he began to pursue the men. 

Ryu and Ken quickly jumped to their feet. "That man had such a 
battle aura. Do you think that he knows Akuma?" 

"I don't know; why don't we asking him after pay him back for our 
fall." 

Ryu and Ken took off after the pervert who was cashing the men with 
underwear on their heads. 

********* 

Ayeka was new to this game horseshoes, but she had to put that 
nasty Ryoko in her place for daring to challenge her. She pulled 
the horseshoe back and began her throw when she caught sight of the 
men with underwear. She payed no attention to her throw, releasing 
to high. Her aim was true; however, as it hit the gloating Ryoko in 
the head. 

Ayeka noticed that Lord Tenchi was with them. She immediately 
worried about the trouble he was in until she noticed what he was 
wearing. She began to fume as she noticed similar details about the 
men. They were wearing her underwear on their persons. How dare 
they pilfer in her things! Ayeka went running after them and fell 
behind Ryu and Ken who wear behind Happosai who was behind the men 
with underwear. 

Ryoko vigorously rubbed the red mark on her forehead from the 
horseshoe. She turned a violent red as she cursed Ayeka, "I'm going 
to punish you for that!" 

She flew off after her arch-rival. 

Sasami and Ryo-oki watched as she chased after Ayeka. Sasami looked 
at the cabbit, "I wonder what Tenchi is doing?" Since neither knew, 
they decided to join the pursuit to see if they could help Tenchi. 

********* 

"Hey, Kimiko, isn't that the guy that insulted us last night?" 
Miyuki asked as she put her croquet mallet down. 

The Debutante Detective Corps stopped their game and focused their 
attention on the men with underwear on their heads, particularly 
Joe. 

"Let's get him!" They cried as they joined the chase. 

********* 

The kitchens were frantic with chefs trying to get a spectacular 
lunch ready for the guests. However, it was perfectly quiet as they 
were making the specialty, Parmesan souffle. Each chef was an 
artist making his own masterpiece. 

In a muted whisper, "Look they are beginning to rise. This is my 
best souffle ever." The male chef began to weep in joy. 

"Get him!" A female's scream bellowed throughout the ship. 

Each chef's mouth dropped to the floor in shock, waiting for the 
result of the noise. The souffles continued to rise. However, the 
loud explosion that soon followed deflated them with ease. 

"NO!" The chefs cried in horror as rage filled their hearts. 

A female chef grabbed a rolling pin, "Let's kill someone!" 

"Yeah!" The chefs poured out of the kitchen with cooking utensils 
and knives in hand. 

********* 

Team Panty ran as quickly as they could and were rewarded by 
outbreaks of laughter. "Guys," Terry yelled as they ran at full 
speed, "I can't thank you enough for this, especially Tenchi and 
Dan. I can't believe that you agreed to help a total stranger." 

"To tell the truth, Terry," Tenchi began, "I'm only helping because 
Washu threatened to turn me into a water sprite." 

Dan grinned, "Mai is so happy that I'm helping you; maybe I'll get 
lucky!" 

Andy, turning red, ran up beside Dan, "What!" He punched Dan in the 
face. 

Dan grinned larger, "I didn't feel a thing! I'm use to more 
punishment than that, Blonde." He began to chuckle until he 
received a harder punch in the face. 

"I've got more than enough to take you down." 

Dan and Andy traded punches as they ran. 

Terry was about to break up the fight when all five were lifted off 
their feet by the force of an explosion. Luckily, each landed on 
their feet barely breaking their pace. 

They looked over their shoulder to see the furious little pervert 
that had assaulted Mai, and he was about to throw something that 
resembled a pineapple with a lite fuse, yelling, "I will gain your 
freedom my lacy friends!" Happosai tossed his pineapple in front of 
the team causing the deck in front to explode, leaving a gapping 
hole. 

Terry cried to his team, "Jump!" Each man cleared the hole with 
ease. "Something has to be done about this pervert," thought Terry. 
He was about to turn and face the man when he glimpsed the crowd 
behind him. There were two men in gi chasing behind the old lecher, 
a purple haired girl with wooden barrels around her chasing after 
them, a spiky-haired woman was flying after the purple-haired girl, 
a small little girl with pigtails and a cat-like creature on her 
shoulder was next, there was a group of girls chasing after her, 
and bringing up the rear appeared to be a group of psychotic chefs 
armed with kitchen utensils. 

Terry thought about his course of action; he had to protect the 
members of his team at all cost. An idea popped into his mind, 
"Guys, don't look back what ever you do!" 

Each one looked back and screamed in terror. 

"I told you not to look back!" 

Each screamed in terror again, "What do we do?" 

Terry used his most calm and commanding tone, "I've got a plan!" 

"What?" 

Terry turned cap backward, "Run like mad!" 

Tenchi bowed his head as the others grumbled, "I knew he was going 
to say that!" 

********* 

The Jusenkyo guide, seeing the action, commandeered the ship's 
outdoor music speaker system, "The men wearing underwear are in 
front followed by a pineapple-explosive throwing, old lecher, 
ARG!!" 

The pineapple explosion destroyed the speaker system and fried the 
guide, who smoldered and sang "Marry had a Little Lamb." 

Happosai never lost his pace, "Who does he think he is calling me 
old?" 

********* 

"Captain, deck four reports several explosions and a riot. These 
men wearing panties on their heads inspired every other man to do 
what was in their genes -- panty raid. We have rioting on all 
decks." The young communications officer looked at the captain, 
panic in his eyes. 

"Quickly, gather all of the crew!" The captain order. 

The communications officer went about his task efficiently, "Sir, 
what should I tell them?" 

"We need to meet on Deck 2." 

"Why sir? What good will that do us?" 

"You fool! The majority of babes are on that deck! Come let us 
panty raid!" 

"But, sir, who will steer the ship?" 

The captain lowered his head as he considered this, "Oh, there's 
nothing around us but water, so what does it matter if we stray of 
course a little. Think of the panties, men!" 

"Yes, sir!" 

Another officer ran into the room; he looked terrible mangled, 
"Sir, the women are resisting. They are attacking us." 

The captain snorted, "What are you complaining about! Women 
attacking you is nothing to be upset about. Be a man!" 

"But sir, they are using furniture and guns and knives against us. 
Not to mention that one chick with the grenades." 

The captain slammed his hands down on his desk, "Oh, they want to 
play that way. Form two platoons. We shall break their spirits and 
steal their lingerie. Someone get me a layout of the ship and 
information about the women's defenses. By tonight, victory will be 
ours, and we shall hang our spoils for all to see!" 

********* 

Akane, Ukyo, and Shampoo had just fought off twenty men trying to 
break their fortifications, so they could panty raid their rooms on 
the second deck. They looked to check on their new allies. Eliza 
Masters bashed another pervert with her purse. Kiyone was blasting 
people left and right with her stun gun even though her aim was 
hampered by her partner, Mihoshi, who was cling to her and wailing 
annoyingly. Ralley was pistol whipping any one who dared attack 
her. Mai was throwing fans as quickly as she could as well as 
setting random men ablaze. Kasumi and the nurse were helping with 
the injured women while Nabiki was negotiating a cease fire for a 
small fee. The rest of the women were holding their own against the 
men. 

********* 

Team Panty managed to stay ahead of the mob that chased them as 
well as dodge several explosions. They had ran around every deck on 
the ship, and now were heading back to Washu's room on the second 
deck. As they round the corner to ascend the stairs, they saw a 
large mob of men fight against women as they tried to ascend the 
stairs all the while chanting a war cry, "Panties! Panties! 
Panties!" 

Terry and the rest came to a halt, "Guys, there is no way we are 
going to be able to get through the panty raiders to the other side 
of the deck or get up to the second deck. We are stuck here and 
that mob behind us will be on us in a second." 

Dan and Joe were the first to reply, "Panty raid!" Drool began to 
run down their mouths. 

Tenchi began to form the Jurain Battle Armor around himself as Andy 
prepared for the fight that was heading this way. 

Before the fight could begin, or Dan and Joe could join the 
raiders, they were teleported away from the fray to Washu's 
laboratory. 

Terry quickly went to Washu, "We've done what you told us to do. 
Can you break the curse?" 

"Sure," she hit a button on her computer and a bright light hit 
Terry, knocking him off his feet. "There you go." 

Tenchi looked around with a puzzled expression on his face, "How 
did you convert the laughter to energy?" 

"I didn't." She smiled mischievously. 

Giant sweat beads formed on Tenchi's head, "Let me guess. You 
didn't really need us to run around the ship with panties on our 
heads; did you?" 

She laughed, "No. All I had to do was zap the energy field around 
him with ions to distort it, and his curse would be nullified" 

Andy advanced, "Why the Hell did we run around the ship like 
perverts with panties on our heads?" 

"I was feeling down since my last experiment failed and needed a 
laugh." 

"Why you sneaky...," Andy was silenced as he turned into a water 
sprite. 

Dan began to laugh uncontrollable at the site of his competitor as 
a water sprite. Although he had suffered this fate, he felt no 
empathy, leaving him free to laugh his head off. "Andy, that is 
such a good look for you. I mean you were handsome before, but now 
you're cute! I love the way you run around and..." 

Washu looked at Dan, "Are you making fun of him?" 

"Ye...Yes...I guess I am," Dan began to sweat as she questioned 
him, knowing she was capable to do the same thing to him. 

"It is funny!" She giggled as she watched Andy. 

Dan relaxed, "Yeah, it's hilarious." 

"It's not hilarious though," she keyed in the water sprite sequence 
for Dan and giggled as she watched Dan and Andy fighting in water 
sprite form. 

The group turned as they heard laughter from behind them. There was 
the old lecher, Happosai, "And they call me evil!" 

Washu's mouth dropped, "How did you get in here?" 

"I was about to teach these little punks a lesson when I found 
myself here." He pulled out a giant pineapple bomb with its fuse 
lite. "Hand me the underwear, and no one'll get hurt." 

Washu typed on her keyboard and the little man was gone. 

Terry, in a docile manner, walked toward Washu, "Please return my 
brother to normal." 

She looked up at him and smiled serenely, "No." 

Tenchi shook his head, "Come on Washu. Turn them back, please. You 
are such a genius isn't gene manipulation so far beneath you 
capabilities?" 

"A" and "B" popped out "Washu is a genius! The greatest in the 
Universe! Washu! Washu!" 

Washu's face spread in a wide, arrogant smile, "You are so right 
Tenchi!" She typed again, and soon Andy and Dan were back to 
normal. 

Washu smiled at them, "Get out will you; I still have experiments 
to perform." She typed on the keyboard, and they found themselves 
back in her cabin. 

********* 

After being rendered unconscious by the blast of his bomb, Happosai 
awoke to find himself on top of the ship's weather vane. He began 
to scream for help. "I'll that I wanted was to protect the fragile 
panties. She didn't have to teleport me and the bomb to the 
observation deck in time for me to be caught in the explosion and 
blown up here! No fair! No fair!" 

Some cute blondes walked by and pointed to him, "Look an 
Umpalumpa!" 

Happosai began to cry, "I am not an Umpalumpa!" 

********* 

The mob chasing Team Panty came to a halt at the place where they 
disappeared; however, before the chefs could attack them or Ryoko 
could attack Ayeka, they heard a scream, "It's my turn now!" It was 
followed by, "Minnie May, not that many grenades!" The explosion 
that followed knocked them over. 

Ayeka dusted herself off and regained her regal stature just in 
time for Ryoko to hit her with a energy blast. Ayeka was thrown 
back to the ground; she began to laugh maniacally, "Ryoko, you have 
done it now!" Her wooded barrels materialized around Ryoko, 
shocking her. 

"Come on Princess! Is that all you got?" Ryoko nailed her with 
another energy blast and then rushed toward her. 

Ayeka, seeing her opponent charging, began to run toward her. 

They crashed in a explosion that blew the chefs to the forth deck. 
Ryu and Ken were lucky since they landed on the bodies of the 
unconscious panty raiders, breaking their fall. Ryu rose to his 
feet, looking around for the lecher. "I don't see the old man 
anywhere; do you?" 

Ken glanced around, "No, he just disappeared with those panty 
guys." 

As he surveyed the unconscious group of men on the stairwell, 
confusion washed over Ryu's face, "What were these men trying to 
do?" 

"Well, from the homemade banners saying 'Panty Raid' and 'Give us 
your panties', it looks like they were on a large scale panty 
raid." 

"Why would they raid for women's underwear?" 

"It's like a male instinct to want to panty raid. Do you feel the 
excitement as you think about stealing all those women's underwear 
and displaying them in public places!" 

Ryu considered, "No." 

Ken appraised his friend, "Ryu, I worry about you." 

The girls of the Debutante Detective Corps had been protected from 
the blast by a telekinetic shield erected by Kimiko, who smoothed 
her bathing suit out, "I don't see that bastard anywhere. Maybe he 
was destroyed in one of the blasts." The other girls agreed. "Let's 
go back to tanning!" 

Ayeka and Ryoko were laying on each other in the crater of their 
explosion; both were unconscious and scorched. Sasami looked at 
Ryo-ohki in dismay, "Won't they ever get along?" 

The cabbit meowed in a negative response as Sasami tried to wake 
the girls. 

********* 

The women moved slowly from their blast refuge to see the mounds of 
unconscious men laying on the ground. One of them waved a white 
flag in the air until it broke. 

Ralley held May, "What were you thinking? You could have killed all 
of us!" 

"I only used flash grenades!" May defended herself. 

With a sweeping gesture, Ralley spoke, "Look at the damage you 
caused!" 

Kasumi was the most accurate in describing the damage, "Oh my!" 

********* 

The captain emerged from his hiding place where he and his men 
avoided the blast, "There is no way to break through the defenses 
erected by the second deck women, but that is okay. Come on men 
let's abandon those foolish male passengers who fell into the 
women's trap; on to the third deck where the bow-wows are!" 

Manly grunts of attack were heard as they went on toward their 
conquest. 

********* 

Ranma had been in the gym since he had been rescued from his so-
called trainers. He was worried about tonight. He had made up his 
mind that there was no way that he could lose. He just did not know 
how to win. 

He looked at the clock on the wall. It was only two hours until the 
match. He felt the boat shake again, "Man, hope we didn't hit 
something." 

********* 

The ship returned to a close proximity of normal by the time of the 
big match. The gym's seating was packed as everyone was eager to 
see this fight. The bystanders were talking about who they thought 
was going to win, and occasionally false boasting was made about 
the panty raid. Everyone on ship appeared to be here although the 
third deck women were still trying to retrieve their undies from 
the Officers. 

Ken Masters walked over to Dan Hibiki, "I saw you running around 
the ship with panties on your head. Is that some kind of new 
training that you're doing? Will that help you fight Sagot? Will 
you kill him with laughter?" 

Dan snarled at his antagonist. 

"Where is your pride, Dan? What could posses you to do a stunt like 
that?" 

Dan grinned as he pointed to Mai, who was in a skin tight dress 
that reveled most of her plenty female charms, "She asked me to do 
it, so how can a man refuse that?" 

Ken smiled in a knowing way as he appraised the beauty, "Yeah, I 
can see your point. She certainly is..." 

Thud! Eliza stood to Ken's left with her purse at ready, "I hope 
you were going to say something like intelligent or polite, Ken 
Masters. I really hope that is what you were going to say. Now tell 
me Ken Masters, what were you going to say?" Each word was 
punctuated by a stamping foot. 

Ken gulped, "Honey, just cause I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't 
look at the menu!" 

Thud! "That is not the answer Ken Masters!" 

Ken began to sweat, "Honey, no one is built like you. She's not 
even a close second!" 

Thud! "You're not trying, Sweetie! Think!" 

Ken went to his knees begging for mercy, "Please, Honey, I'm sorry. 
I'll never do it again. Women are more than just their bodies!" 

Thud! "That's to reinforce the statement you made; women have 
brains as well as bodies. You male chauvinist pig!" 

Dan watched the married couple in shock. Ken was so pathetic. A 
thought occurred to him, "Maybe Mai is manipulating me like that!" 

"What am I doing, Sweetheart?" Mai spoke as she grabbed his arm and 
smiled up at him. 

Dan tried vigorously to remember what was being said, but he could 
not seem to do it. 

********* 

Terry, Kiyone, Andy, Joe, and Mihoshi sat together as they waited 
for the match to begin. Joe began to comment, "I don't think that 
the kid has a chance of beating Hoshi." 

Terry thought about it, "I don't know. From what we have overheard 
people saying, the kid is fighting for his fiancee. If he loves her 
and his desire to win for her is great, I don't know. He may have a 
shot at it." 

Andy looked at the floor with vehemence, "Love doesn't mean 
anything. You fall in love with them, save their lives countless 
times, take them on dates, tell them that 'yes, I do love you', 
treat them with respect, be the perfect gentlemen, don't try to 
rush them, try to safe guard their feelings, and what happens? They 
leave you for some punk with a busted nose and battered face who 
has no fighting style at all and just wants to use them for sex. 
And...and..." 

"And what blondie?" Dan taunted as he come up next to the group 
with Mai at his side. 

Andy was red as his temper blazed uncontrollable. He looked at Mai, 
"What the Hell did I do wrong?" 

Dan shoved Andy into Joe, "Man, you don't get it. Mai is a great 
lady. She is beautiful and nice. She deserves to have anything she 
wants, and she wants a man that she can count to be their with her 
for a lifetime." 

Andy open his mouth to speak, but Dan continued on as he grabbed a 
microphone. "A man to be her partner, best friend, and lover. She 
wants some kids and a house and maybe a dog or cat. She wants 
commitment. She wants you to be as committed to her as you are to 
your martial arts training. She wants to be number one in your 
life. How can you string her along?" 

Andy was about to commit but again Dan continued, "I understand 
your an orphan. Everyone you loved has died; well, let me tell you. 
It happens, and that is why you have to make the most out of every 
day that you have. Man, love is truly the gift that keeps on 
giving; the more you give, the more you receive." 

By the end of his speech, Dan was crying hysterically, yet through 
his tears he added one more statement, "Remember Andy that love 
conquers all thing!" 

The crowd in the gym began to cry. Sighs of longing were heard from 
all women. Couples sat a little closer as they leaned together. 
Friends gave each other hugs. Eliza even stopped beating Ken, much 
to his surprise, and pulled him into a cuddle. 

Andy looked at Mai, "I admit that I'm so scared to get close to you 
because I'm afraid that I might lose you, but after losing you this 
past day, I realize that it's to late for me. I'm already to close 
to you Mai. I'm not promising to be the best husband, but I love 
you." Andy got down off the bleachers and bent to one knee, "Will 
you marry me, Mai?" 

The crowd leaned toward the couple and not a sound was heard in the 
gym. Mai looked at Andy as tears poured down her face, "Yes!" She 
ran into his embrace. The crowd broke into a cheer. 

Joe leaned toward Dan, "You realized that your speech just talked 
her out of performing any sexual acts with you?" 

Dan cried as he answered Joe, "It is the best thing that I have 
ever done in my life!" 

Terry invited Dan to sit next to him as Andy and Mai cuddled next 
to each other. 

Mai noticed Nodoka Saotome sitting across from them on the left 
side bleachers. She was smiling and nodding as she pulled out a 
package of Mentos. Mai smiled and nodded as she pulled out her 
package of Mentos. 

********* 

The Jusenkyo Guide was wrapped entirely in gauze as he began to 
announce, "It has already been an emotional day here on the boat 
with exhibitionists and panty raids, and now, ladies and gentlemen, 
a marriage proposal to start the night off. The fight is going to 
have to be something to top this. Here are our opponents: On the 
left is street fighter Ryu Hoshi and on the right is challenger 
Ranma Saotome. Over there tied to the goal post is our prize, Miss 
Akane Tendou." 

Akane's yelling was muffled by the gag as she tried to free 
herself. 

"Are you two ready?" 

Ryu and Ranma were both analyzing each other. Ryu tightened his 
gloves, "I'm sorry that you had to lose your fiancee like this, but 
next time you will know better than challenging someone with such a 
valuable prize at stake." 

Ranma's eyes blazed, "Don't count me out yet, you arrogant bastard. 
You're not taking Akane; she is mine!" 

The tension between the two was like electricity. The crowd was on 
the edge of their seat waiting for the match to begin. 

All the sudden a horrified scream sounded through the gym. Dan 
Hibiki stood up, "What was I thinking? I am such a lame fool! I'm 
never going to get laid now!" He ran across the gym between the 
opponents, screaming and wailing like a mad man. He was followed by 
a group of girls, who had been moved by his speech. 

The Jusenkyo Guide focused his attention back on the fight, 
"Begin!" 

Ranma began the fight by jumping in on Ryu with a kick; however, 
Ryu blocked most of the impact and countered with an uppercut, 
which sent Ranma to the floor. Ranma hopped back to his feet and 
attacked again. Ryu blocked his first two punches but did not 
anticipate Ranma's blinding speed as he was caught unaware by 
Ranma's Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken attack. Ryu staggered back a step 
after the barrage; however, he was ready for Ranma's next kick and 
countered with a Shoryuken. The raw power of the attack sent Ranma 
sailing backward. Ranma charged jumped in on Ryu, preparing to use 
the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken attack again; however, he was sucked 
into Ryu's Tatsumakisenpukyaku. 

Ranma staggered to his feet and was about to again try the Chestnut 
Fist Technique on Ryu when he was knocked back to the floor by an 
impact on his back. Happosai, carrying a over-filled bag that 
dropped various articles of lingerie at each step, pushed off 
Ranma's back, landing on Ryu face, sending him to the floor by his 
push off. He screamed in joy, "What a haul! What a haul!" Happosai 
was shortly followed by a large group of women from the third deck, 
"Give us back our underwear!" Behind them, the officers of the ship 
pursued; the captain yelled, "Come back here you old lecher! We 
risked our lives to steal that underwear, so it belong to us!" 

Ryu and Ranma as well as the crowd watched in amazement as the 
procession went between the opponents out the door. 

Ranma prepared to dodge as Ryu as advanced. He thought to himself, 
"This guy is powerful. I don't know how long that I can take this 
abuse." 

Ryu jumped in with a flying roundhouse; Ranma parred and circled 
his opponent as he threw the Hiryu Shoten Ha. Ranma realized his 
error too late. Ryu was to calm in a fight and did not emit a hot 
enough battle aura for him to throw his move, leaving him wide open 
for another Shoryuken. 

As the fight raged on, it was apparent that Ryu was more powerful 
that his opponent, who was receiving a terrible beating. Without a 
hot battle aura, Ranma was not able to use the Hiryu Shoten Ha, his 
most powerful attack. Although Ranma was much quicker, his stamina 
and endurance were wearing thin. 

Ryu threw a Hadoken at Ranma, which he jumped, landing in the right 
place to catch Ryu with another Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken attack. 
However, before he launch a follow up, Ryu blew him back with a 
fireball. Ranma landed across the floor. He was quick to recover, 
but not quick enough as he was caught again in another fireball; 
the impact sent him into the wall behind him near the goal post 
where Akane was chained. 

Akane looked on in fear; she knew that Ryu was powerful, and she 
was desperately afraid that Ranma could be seriously hurt or even 
killed. "Ranma, stop this fight now!" She screamed at Ryu, "Stop 
this now. You could hurt him!" She looked at Ranma again as she was 
about to tell him to stop again, but she saw the fury in his eyes. 

Ranma pointed at her, "You want me to quit because you like him 
better or something!" 

Akane was furious, "What? You have got to be kidding! I don't want 
to see you hurt!" 

"Don't you have any faith in me at all?" 

"Of course, but Ryu is so powerful. I could never forgive myself if 
you got hurt." 

"I have to win." 

"Please stop this." Akane began to cry as she pleaded. 

The force of this statement slammed Ranma, "You really do like him 
more than me!" 

Akane broke free of her chains and slapped him across the face, 
"You flaky jerk. I love you and don't want to see you get hurt!" At 
the realization of what she said, Akane began to blush. 

Ranma stood there with a blank look on his face; however, the 
pressure to respond was abated by Ryu, "Ranma, we have to finish 
this." 

The Jusenkyo guide was out of his set, standing on the table as 
best he could with two broken legs in casts, "Amazing folks! A 
marriage proposal and an admission of love!" He began to weep 
unabashedly, "I have never seen such emotion! Can't feel the love 
around you?!" 

Ranma was full of a new found strength. With this new surge of 
energy, came the realization that he had to use his faster speed 
and greater agility to wear down Ryu. Ryu threw another Hadoken 
which Ranma jumped over; he landed on the palms of his hands as he 
used his feet to rapidly kick Ryu's face. Ranma continued to dodge 
Ryu's attacks all the while he got in punches and kicks. 

The fight was again disrupted as suddenly Dan came running back 
into the gym between the fighters screaming, "Someone stop these 
girls! They're insane!" 

Dan barely stayed ahead of the screaming girls from the Debutante 
Detective Corps, each of whom yelled, "Tell us who you think is the 
prettiest!" 

Nina had already assembled her Barrett Sniper Rifle from parts 
hidden in her clothing, and she was taking pot shots at him while 
running. The crowd hit the deck for safety as bullets flew toward 
Dan. Joe watched the poor man, deep sympathy in his heart, 
remembering in full his last encounter with those psychotic chicks. 
As the girls ran toward the exit that Dan departed from, he tripped 
Nina, sending her to the floor and her rifle flying between the 
ship's rails into the ocean. 

Miyuki stopped and looked at him as the other women ran after Dan, 
"It's him Nina. Let's get him." 

Joe ran for the exit on the other side of the room. He thought to 
himself, "I'll get rid of these chicks in no time." He smirked as 
he thought, "At least I don't have to dodge bullets." 

Miyuki cried to Nina, "I'm sorry about your gun!" 

"It's okay. I've already almost assembled my new baby!" 

Joe looked over his shoulder to see the biggest gun that he had 
seen in his life, "Oh man this sucks!" His speed increased 
exponentially as he ran out the door. 

The crowd slowly returned to their seats from their hiding place 
under the bleachers. A disgruntled Ryu looked at Ranma, "You are 
not disturbed by the frequent disruptions?" 

Ranma shook his head, "Nah, I'm used to this kind of thing. It 
happens all the time to me. Are you ready?" 

Ryu nodded and began with a Hadoken. Ranma dodged again and was 
about to sneak in a punch when he was drawn into Ryu's Shinku 
Tatsumakisenpukyaku. Ranma was almost knocked unconscious by all 
the blows he received; however, he was revived as the air in his 
lungs was pushed out by his violent collision with the floor. He 
looked up to see Ryu preparing another Hadoken, and from the size 
of the chi he was gathering, it was not going to be like the 
others. Ranma felt his despair building; however, one idea ran 
through his mind, "I can't lose this fight because I love Akane too 
much to lose!" He felt the power building in him as his confidence 
swelled, resulting in chi flooding into him. As Ryu released his 
Skinku Hadoken, Ranma released his Moko Takabisha. Ranma's fireball 
collided with Ryu's, but was not stalled as it consumed its energy. 
The giant ball of energy hit Ryu only throwing him into the wall, 
saved only by the fact that his fireball dissipated energy from 
Ranma's, weakening the impact.. 

Akane ran to Ranma and helped him walk toward the exit. Akane 
looked at the badly beaten Ranma, "I can't believe you said it. Did 
you mean it?" 

Ranma looked confused, "What?" 

"You said that you couldn't lose because you loved me." 

Although he was badly hurt, Ranma's body jumped from shock, "No, I 
didn't say that.. I couldn't have said that... I just 
thought...er...nothing!" 

The Jusenkyou guide was right behind the pair. He yelled into his 
microphone, "Yes, you did say that you loved her aloud and everyone 
heard your yell." 

Ranma began to turn deathly pale. 

The crowd began to chant, "Admit it. Admit it. Admit it." 

Akane and Ranma's eyes meet and locked. Since she was helping him 
walk, their faces were level. Neither spoke, but they just stared. 

The crowd changed its chant, "Kiss her! Kiss her!" 

A small lobster that sat on the bleachers began to sing, "Kiss the 
girl." The air could be cut with a chain saw from the sexual 
tension. 

Finally, Tenchi's Grandfather helped out and gave Ranma's head a 
little push. His aim was true as his lips met hers. The crowd 
chaired wildly as the kiss continued. 

Kuno rushed toward Ranma with his Bokuto in hand, but Grandfather 
knocked his weapon out of his hands and then knocked him 
unconscious with a hit from his Bokuto. 

As Ryoga advanced, he was stopped by the force of a giant spatula 
to the head. Ukyo yelled to him, "Ryoga, you Jackass, get it 
through your thick skull. They love each other. They have loved 
each other for a long time! You have no chance to break them up 
anymore." With each statement, she hit him on the head with her 
spatula. 

Ranma and Akane come to their senses as they remembered they were 
in front of a crowd. Ranma put his arm around her, and he guided 
her toward the exit. 

********* 

Kasumi walked in with her father, Genma, and two security guards 
just in time to see the kiss. Kasumi smiled and dabbed tears from 
her face, "I'm so glad that I found you on one of the ship's 
anchors, so we could see this beautiful event." She turned to the 
guards, "Thank you for pulling them aboard." 

The securities guards looked at Kasumi like star-struck boys, 
"You're welcome Miss Tendou. We'd do anything for you." 

Genma, in human form, and Soun hugged each other as they cried in 
elation. 

********* 

Ken helped Ryu to his feet. Eliza was next to her husband, "Do you 
men understand the point that was made here?" 

Ryu looked at Ken for a quick answer but saw only fear on his 
friend's face. 

Ken slowly began, "Eliza, are you going to hit us with your purse 
if we don't?" 

Eliza rolled her eyes, "Don't be silly! When have I ever abused 
you?" 

Ken's face contorted in amazement and was about to tell his wife of 
several instances when he was cut short by his wife, "No matter how 
hard you train to be the best; you can't lose sight of your 
emotions because they make you more powerful!" 

The Jusenkyo Guide was rolling in a pile of used tissue, "Yes, my 
friends, love is the answer." He began to sing the Beatles song, 
"All You Need is Love." Although the crowd did not understand why, 
they began to sing as well. People pulled out their lighters as 
they swayed to the music. 

********* 

To be Concluded... 

As the spectators sang, Nabiki dragged Kuno back to her room, 
leaving him unconscious on the floor. She looked at him for several 
minutes as she tried to decided if she was going to proceed with 
her next plan. The thought of the Kuno's family wealth was what 
convinced her to begin. She grabbed a bucket, filling it with 
water, and splashed it onto Kuno. 

Kuno woke immediately, jumping to his feet, "My beloved Akane, I 
will free you from his spell. I will crush Ranma..." He was 
silenced by the shattering of a table lamp upon his head. He looked 
at his attacker, "Why didst thou strike the noble head of Tatewaki 
Kuno?" 

Nabiki sighed in frustration, "You were become delusional agin." 

"Sure you jest. I possess all my mental faculties!" 

"You are so deluded, Kuno Baby." Nabiki laughed at his utter mental 
density. She began her case against him, "First, you never have 
comprehended that the Pig-Tailed Girl and Ranma are the same 
person. Second, you have never grasped that Akane doesn't want to 
date you now or ever. Third, you still can't see that Ranma and 
Akane are in love." 

Kuno snickered at what she suggested. "Ranma and Akane in love?" He 
laughed, "Akane cannot love him for her heart belongs to me. As for 
my goddess, the Pig-Tailed Girl, she is just under a spell from 
Ranma's black magic. I will free her as well!" 

Nabiki crashed the other table lamp down on his head. "Pathetic is 
inaccurate to describe the depths of your density." 

"I will have my loves at my side, and together we will face a 
bright, new day. We will be as one." 

"Hey Kuno." 

"What do you want now Nabiki," he whirled around only to be caught 
in her arms. Before he realized what was happening, she brought his 
head to hers and kissed him soundly. 

When she moved away from him, she was anxious to find out his 
reaction. However, she was not able to observer him long before she 
was pulled back into his embrace. 

********* 

Terry, Kiyone, Mihoshi, Andy, and Mai sat a booth near the bar in 
the dinning area. They drank champagne in celebration of the 
engagement and lifting of the curse. 

Terry laughed, "I hope that Joe's okay. Those women were out for 
his blood." 

Mai nodded in agreement, "I hope that Dan's okay, too." Andy looked 
at Mai; although he tried to hide it, she could tell that he was 
still jealous. She smiled at him as she snuggled closer to him, 
"After all, Andy darling, he was what got us engaged." 

Placated by her statement, Andy nodded in agreement, "Yeah, he did 
do that." 

"Here's a toast to the happy couple who don't seem to realize their 
friend's about to be riddled with bullets," Joe remarked from his 
hiding place under the table next to their booth. He raised the 
floor-length, table cloth only enough to show his face, which was 
pressed to the floor. 

Terry looked at him, "Joe why are you hiding under a table? Don't 
you think that it'd been safer in our room?" 

"I couldn't get there. By the time that I got to the stairwell, I 
collided with Dan, who had been running the other way. Before we 
could get up and to the stairs, they had cut off that escape, so 
here I am under the table. I'm so lame!" 

Andy looked around, "Where's Dan?" 

The table cloth raised up more to show that Dan was on top of Joe's 
back. His head and Joe's peeked through, "Joe would you relax your 
shoulders. They're digging into my chest." 

Joe was about to purposefully tense his shoulders more when he 
heard laughter. He turned to look at his friends, who were in tears 
laughing at him. 

Mai was the first to jab a knife in Joe's back, "Don't you both 
look so cute hiding under there...together." 

Joe raised his head to look at Mai in the far corner of the booth; 
however, he inadvertently hit Dan in the mouth. 

Dan purposefully jabbed his chin down onto Joe's head. 

"Och," Joe sneered at Dan, "Why don't you go find your own table to 
hide under? You're probably some sicko-pervert, who enjoys this 
kind of thing!" 

Dan again jabbed his chin into Joe's head, "Hey, I'm secure in my 
manliness! Besides, I saw this table first!" 

"If you hit me with your chin one more time, I'm going to kick your 
ass all over the ship! Your table, you've got to be kidding. I saw 
it first." 

"Dan, would you stop trying to play footsie with me!" 

Dan responded by hitting him with his chin again. 

"Guys, why don't you find another table?" Andy was the voice of 
reason. 

Joe smirked, "You heard him, Hibiki; get your own table." 

"Higashi, I saw this table first, so shove off!" 

"Okay, you miserable..." Joe was cut off by Terry. 

Terry gave each a stern look, "You sound like a couple of school 
boys. One of you crawl over to the next table. It's that simple." 

Mai laughed, "Were talking Joe here, Terry." 

Before Joe could defend himself, Kiyone cleared her throat loudly 
and pointed toward the door where the blonde with the giant gun 
came into the bar. She stepped on a chair and then on top of a 
table. She held the gun in a position suggesting that she was ready 
to use it, "Have any of you seen two men run in here?" She gave a 
length description of both her prey. 

"No" was yelled throughout the room. 

However, Nina still held her gun at ready as she proceeded to 
search throughout the room. 

About that time the Masaki party entered the room and waved at 
their friends in the booth, Ayeka and Ryoko flanked Tenchi as he 
followed behind his father and grandfather. As fate would have it, 
they choose to set at the table closet to the bar. The table where 
Dan and Joe hid. 

Dan and Joe got as close as they could to the middle of the table; 
to their advantage, the table did happen to be very wide, so they 
avoided the party's feet. Tenchi was seated at the end of the table 
where Joe and Dan's feet were as were grandfather and Nobuyuki. 
Before Ryoko or Ayeka could grab the seat next to Tenchi, Washu 
jumped in it, giving the two girls a "so what are you going to do 
about it" look. Ayeka and Ryoko sighed in defeat as they choose the 
opposing chairs at the end where Dan and Joe's head were. 

"Where are we going to sit since there's no more room at the 
table," Sasami, with Ryo-Ohki on her shouldered, asked Tenchi. 

Tenchi smiled down at her, "I'll share my chair with you." 

Sasami smiled as she seated herself on his lab, much to the utter 
disdain of her sister and Ryoko. 

Tenchi looked at Ayeka, who was grumbling to herself about Sasami, 
"I'm sorry about your un... unmentionables, Ayeka. I promise you 
that I was not the one who stole them. Besides, we just wore them 
to help out Kiyone. I have lost count of how many times I've 
apologized." 

Ayeka, still crimson for her burns, glowed a brighter shade a red. 
"I understand, Lord Tenchi. I realize that you, such a noble man, 
would never do anything perverse like stealing women's underthings. 
I have already forgiven you." Ayeka stopped before she made her 
next comment. A confused look on her face as she bent down and 
raised the table cloth to find Joe trying to get a peak up her 
dress. She screamed and jumped back from the table, pointing at it. 
"There's a man under there trying to look up my dress!" 

Ryoko jumped back as well. She raised to table cloth to find Dan 
there, smiling in a perverse manner. "Hey, what the Hell are you 
doing under there?" 

The table cloth was raised and the excess material laid on the 
table by the rest of the party, revealing Dan on top of Joe. 

A woman screamed, "Look at those perverts!" 

Soon the dining room was ablaze with chairs pushing back, people 
pointing, and yelling at them. Joe and Dan were mortified by the 
attention, especially when they heard the gun-welding blonde yell, 
"I knew they were in here!" 

Joe and Dan got out from under the table and to their feet as 
quickly as they could. However, Ryoko and Ayeka were waiting for 
them. Ayeka grabbed Joe by his collar and gave him her best right 
hook, which knocked him backwards into another man, who go to his 
feet and faced the man that made him spill his vodka. "Apologize to 
Zangief for spilling his vodka." 

Joe smirked, "I don't have time for this!" 

Before he could try to escape the blonde running toward him, he was 
grabbed from behind by the burly Russian and pulled into a Spinning 
Pile Driver. 

Zangief kicked the unconscious Joe, "Wake up! Zangief want his 
apology!" Joe's situation did not go unavenged. 

Dan jumped over the table, landing in front of Zangief, "Gadoken." 
The fireball threw Zangief back into another party's table. 

"Bar fight!" Hiroshi yelled from atop his table before he and 
Daisuke scurried underneath a booth to watch the fighting that 
broke out. 

Kiyone quickly disarmed Nina before she could kill the unconscious 
Joe. However, the blonde came up with a left-cross that knocked 
Kiyone backward. Mai jumped in on her with a Deadly Ninja Bees, 
taking Nina out of the fight. 

********* 

Before Dan could bend down and help Joe to his feet, he was caught 
in his stomach with a punch by some little punk. Dan looked at him 
and laughed, "It takes more than that to hurt me, Boy!" Dan was 
struck from behind an energy blast from Ryoko. 

"That's for looking up my skirt, you pervert!" She went over to 
kick him for good measure, but Dan swirled on her, ignoring the pan 
in his back, and caught her with a Dragon Punch. His victory was 
short lived since he was caught mid-taunt by the lady that had been 
setting next to Zangief, "I'm Natasha Komanoff. You dare to harm my 
date! He had to beat up several people to get these tickets!" The 
burly women performed her version of a Spinning Pile Driver on him. 

********* 

Terry and Andy were back to back as they fought the series of 
opponents that constantly attacked. None of them managed to get a 
single attack through the brother's defenses. Mai and Mihoshi half 
way carried Kiyone up to the brothers, who had beaten down all the 
opponents with the nerve to attack them. 

Terry was immediately worried when he saw them, "Kiyone, are you 
okay?" 

Kiyone, her right check already swelling, answered with a faint 
smile, "I've had worse." 

He took her into his arms to carry her to the exit. Kiyone smiled 
up at him, "Maybe we should just stick with Karoke bars." 

Terry grimaced, "I hate Karoke bars. What's the point of singing 
and making a fool of yourself in front of a bunch of drunk fools. 
Besides, I hate to sing." 

Kiyone's dreams fell into disarray with that comment, "Okay." She 
made plans to dump Terry as soon as they got out of the bar. Terry 
was a nice guy and all, but Karoke was something that she really 
loved. 

Andy followed holding Mai in his arms with Mihoshi wailing as she 
followed, "Look at all the food on the floor!" 

********* 

A female ran toward Kasumi, "You look too prim and proper sitting 
there. I think you need an attitude adjustment!" She picked up a 
table and threw it at the unsuspecting Kasumi. 

The security guards, that had pulled Soun and Genma aboard the 
ship, jumped in front of her, "We'll save you, Miss Tendou!" The 
table hit the with a thud; however, their mission was accomplished 
as Kasumi was untouched by the table. The guards lay unconscious on 
the floor. 

Kasumi bent over to check their pulse as the time the woman threw a 
chair at her, so it flew over her by a scant foot. After checking 
the first guard, Kasumi scooted over to check his companion, 
inadvertently missing another chair. 

Nodoka had finished with her opponent in time to see the woman 
threw the second chair at Kasumi, so she quickly made her way to 
the woman. When she arrived, the woman whirled to attack her with a 
chair held over her head; however, her fervor left as she noted the 
Katana held by Nodoka, with which she slashed several times. The 
chair the woman held above her head was cut to pieces. The woman 
stood transfixed as Nodoka made several more strokes with her 
blade. Her daze was broke when she felt a breeze on her chest. She 
looked down to see the word "Stop" cut in her shirt's fabric 
although her skin was not cut in the least. She looked up at Nodoka 
to see that she was ready to strike again, and she made a tactical 
choice -- run for her life. Nodoka watched as she ran out of the 
bar, screaming like a baby. 

Nodoka grabbed Kasumi by the arm, "I think we should go." 

Kasumi smiled at her, "But what about these nice security guards? I 
should get them to the nurse." 

"Don't worry; I saw the nurse tending to patients near the 
entrance. I'm sure that she will find them. Now, come along." 
Nodoka did not tell Kasumi that the nurse had been tending to the 
patient with a few punches and a kicks to the groin. 

********* 

Ken already had ten unconscious bodies at his feet from the short 
time that he had been fighting. He dodge a guy who was going to 
kidney punch him, and threw him into the wall. He gave a quick 
glance to his wife to make sure that she was safe. What he saw made 
his blood run cold. 

The big, burly Russian woman with Zangief was heading toward her. 
He spared no effort to get to his wife as he threw or punched 
people out of his way, yet he knew that he was not going to make it 
to her in time. Much to his amazement, he saw Eliza pick up her 
glass of champagne and throw it in the Russian's eyes, temporarily 
blinding her; Eliza then grabbed her purse's strap and began to 
swing it around, building momentum, until she nailed her opponent 
in the temple with her lead-weight of a purse. The Russian woman 
staggered around and then fell unconscious to the floor. 

Ken was so proud of his wife that he was paying little attention to 
his surroundings. He turned to enter the turmoil again only to be 
Dragon Punched by Dan. "Who's the best now, Blondie! Ratchoo!" 

Dan was still taunting when Eliza's purse struck his head, sending 
him to the floor. 
********* 

Mune held Sasami close as Kim, Grandfather, Tenchi, and Nobuyuki 
cleared a path for them. During the fray, Kim was lead away while 
fighting two men simultaneously. Tenchi and Grandfather stood 
together as they fought anyone that came into range. Unfortunately, 
Mune and Sasami were left unguarded for the time being. Mune still 
proceeded to the exit when large man blocked her way 

He looked Mune up and down as his gazed rested on her chest, "Hey, 
Baby, where's a pretty thing like you going in such a hurry?" 

Mune gave him her most vehement stare, "I just want to get this 
little girl out of here, so please get out of my way." 

His lips turned into a sneer as he leered at her, "Ah, come on. The 
fun has just began." He stepped forward to grab her when Ryo-Ohki 
jumped on to his face and began to scratch away. The man batted off 
the fierce cabbit, knocking him to the floor with a thud; Sasami 
quickly grabbed and cradle her in her arms. 

Nobuyuki came forward and smashed a chair over the odious man; 
however, it did not even phase him. He punched Nobuyuki, sending 
his glasses flying across the room and his limp body to the floor. 

The man was furious, "Give me that little beast!" He advanced on 
Sasami when he felt a heavy weight on his shoulder. 

He turned to see Zangief holding onto him with a painful grasp, 
"Zangief no like see big man picking on small child!" The man was 
pulled into a Final Atomic Buster. 

Mune and Sasami both thanked the large Russian, who picked them up 
and set them outside the exit. 

Kim, seeing that Mune was safely outside, fought his way to the 
exit to join her while Grandfather drug Nobuyuki outside behind 
him. 

********* 

Ayeka was still looking for the pervert that looked up her skirt 
when she tripped on the unconscious form of Ryoko, landing on top 
of her foe. Ryoko woke up, "What are you doing Ayeka?" 

Before Ayeka could answer, Tenchi ran to them, "Are you both 
alright?" 

"Oh, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka grabbed tightly to his hand, "I'm trying 
to find that fowl creature that tried to look up my skirt." 

Ryoko slapped Ayeka's hand away and hauled herself up, "Tenchi came 
to rescue me, so take your pity party else where?" 

Ayeka hauled herself up using Tenchi's other arm, "Ryoko, Lord 
Tenchi came to rescue..." 

The tirade Ayeka was about to commence with was stopped as she 
notice a man with a chair about to hit Tenchi. Ryoko, noticing 
Ayeka's look of fear, turned to see the attacker. Both girls pushed 
Tenchi to the floor as they blasted the man threw the dinning room 
wall. They looked at each other and nodded in agreement to defend 
Tenchi. Ryoko turned around, reached down, and pulled Tenchi to his 
feet; the trio made their way to the door. 

********* 

Dan decided it was time to get out of this chaos, so he made a 
break for the door; however, he ran square into the Russian chick, 
Natasha, and was knocked to the floor. Natasha was not even budged 
by their collision. She was about to reach down and grab him when 
an idea popped into Dan's mind. He reached and grabbed a pair of 
glasses on the floor, placing them on his face, "You wouldn't hit a 
guy with glasses!" 

Natasha sneered at him as she punched him out the door. 

Joe saw his friends leave (Dan by special delivery, Russian style,) 
so he made his way to the door. He was proud of himself as his 
punch sent a rushing attacker to the floor. He kicked the next 
attacker in the face and was about to nail the next guy with his 
fist when he was picked up off the floor. 

"Zangief want apology now!" 

Joe screamed, "Hey, man, I'm sorry for the accident!" 

"Thanks!" Zangief then threw him out the door. 

Joe landed on Dan as he was trying to get back on his feet. "Joe, 
would you stop following me around!" 

Joe answered with a quick elbow to Dan's stomach. 

Everyone's attention was captured when they heard the cry of 
"Sweeto." 

Mai punched the elderly pervert before he could connect with her 
breast; however, as he fell, he grabbed onto her shirt ripping it. 

Daisuke and Hiroshi ran from the bar trying to escape the fight 
when they saw most of Mai's breasts; they collapsed to the floor as 
their noses gushed blood. 

Andy quickly cover his fianc,'s chest as Terry picked up Happosai, 
"Listen old man. I don't like to hurt the elderly, but I will if 
you don't stay away from Mai." 

Happosai looked annoyed, "Your not that good, Whippersnapper!" He 
struck the hand of Terry's holding him up, breaking free; he landed 
avoiding Terry's punch. He ended the fight by circling behind Terry 
and pressing a spot on his necks, which sent Terry flying into the 
dining room wall. 

After giving Mai his shirt, Andy advanced, "Come on, you old 
pervert!" 

Happosai used the Happo Throw; using Andy's weight and momentum as 
punched at him, he tossed the blonde into the wall next to his 
brother. 

Joe was startled by this. The frail looking old man sent both Andy 
and Terry flying. He decided it was his turn and launched the kick 
at him. However, Happosai just jumped the kick, pressing the a 
point on Joe's neck as he descended. Joe went sailing into some 
deck chairs. 

Dan was running in for his attack and was subsequently thrown 
across the deck near Joe. 

Happosai was laughing as he walked over to Dan and Joe, "I haven't 
had this much fun in years! How about you two becoming my students? 
I'll teach you techniques from my own Any Thing Goes Martial Arts 
school" 

Dan and Joe looked quizzically at each other. 

"I've seen your work, Boys, and I'll forgive you for defiling those 
panties and underwear that you wore with your scent. I can't spot a 
blossoming pervert from a 100 meters away! You two have talent to 
become masters." 

Joe looked at the old man, "Masters of your martial arts school?" 

Happosai laughed, "You wished you were that good. No, masters of 
perversion. I'll teach you some martial arts along the way. I'll 
make men out of you. So, what do you boys say?" 

Dan was the first to respond, "Sure, I need to know all I can to 
face my father's killer. I will study all I can to avenge you 
Father!" Dan stood up and was about to finish his oath when 
Happosai hit him with his pipe. 

"Quiet, pupil!" 

Joe was next, "After getting my ass kicked the entire cruise, I 
think I need to learn some new techniques." 

Happosai grinned, "Okay, Boys. We'll begin your training today." 

"What training?" Mihoshi asked, surprising the three men. 

********* 

Ryoga was leaning on Ukyo as they walked back to her cabin. Ukyo 
looked over at him, "Are you going to be okay, Ryoga?" 

He did not answer; he just kept walking in a daze. The daze was 
instantly broke when they came upon Ranma and Akane who were 
looking over the railing as they held each other. They had arrived 
just in time to hear Akane speak, "Ranma, I love you more than 
anyone else." 

Ranma turned to her and blushed as he spoke, "I love you too, 
Akane." The couple kissed again. 

This was the last straw for Ryoga, who ran off screaming, "I can't 
take this anymore!" When he was at the center of the ship, he 
screamed, "Buktsi Ten Ketsi!" His well placed strike, in addition 
to all of the strain the ship had already suffered from numerous 
explosions, resulted in the ship splitting in the middle. The two 
sides violently broke apart. 

********* 

Joe and Mihoshi stood facing each other as Dan and Happosai leared. 
Joe finally spoke, "You are really beautiful." 

Mihoshi blushed, "Joe, I think that you are the nicest man that I 
have ever met!" 

Joe grabbed both of her hands, "You mean that! !ou don't think that 
I some pervert." 

Mihoshi laughed, "No, I think you're wonderful!" 

Joe let go of her hands to prance around in a victory dance, "This 
is the moment that I've been waiting for the entire cruise. 
Finally, a woman who understands me and thinks that I am the best!" 
He turned around and began to run to her. 

She rushed to him with her arms spread wide when the tremor threw 
them down near each other. However, before they could crawl far 
enough to reach each other, the boat split apart with Mihoshi on 
one part and Joe on the other. 

"Mihoshi!" 

"Joe!" 

********* 

The passengers swam in the ocean trying to find life boats that 
were not filled. Daisuke yelled and pointed, "Hey, look over there! 
It's Tokyo! I thought we were supposed to be near the Caribbean by 
now!" 

All eyes went to the Captain and his officers, who were in a giant, 
custom made life boat that held a portable stereo, television, 
stove, and mini-refrigerator. The Captain faced his accusers, "Hey, 
so what! While we were trying to stop the panty raids..." 

A woman's voice screamed out, "You didn't stop it. You're the one 
that took my panties!" 

Many women's voices were heard as they screamed in agreement. 

The Captain cleared his throat, "Okay, you're right. I'm a man for 
crying out loud! What do you expect from me!" 

Hiroshi dog-paddled next to the life boat, "Just finish your 
explanation." 

"Well, we sort of got off course a wee little bit!" 

The crowd in the water screamed in unison, "A wee little bit?" 

The Captain put his head in his hands and then raised it to scream, 
"So we made a complete circle and ended up back at our point of 
departure! Is that so bad? At least now we can swim ashore without 
having to wait to be rescued!" 

The crowd grumbled in disbelief as they swam for Japan. 

********* 

Ranma, in girl form courtesy of the water, helped Akane into the 
lifeboat. "I'm glad this came along since your not the best 
swimmer. Now I don't have to worry about you drowning." 

Akane smiled at him (or her at this minute) for his concern. They 
were almost thrown from the boat as Genma in panda form tried to 
climb into the it. 

Ranma punched his dad's head, "What are you thinking, old man? 
You'll tip us over if you try to get in the boat." 

The panda looked at his son and spoke, "Bwarara!" 

"Stay in the water till we get to Japan!" Ranma turned to help his 
mother into the boat and then Kasumi and Soun. 

The group looked toward Genma as they heard him growl to see Kuno 
on top of his head, assisting Nabiki into the boat. "Let not a 
worry crease thy beautiful brow for I, Tatewaki Kuno, will not 
allow thou to sink to the murky depths where I would ner see thy 
beautiful eyes of the softest brown, like the freshly tilled soil." 

Ranma hit Kuno on the head, "Would you shut up, and get in the 
boat! You're drowning my old man!" 

Everyone looked to see Genma trashing about with his head under the 
water as Kuno stood on him. 

Kuno swung Nabiki into the boat, "Verily well, Pig-Tail Girl!" Kuno 
completely ignored Ranma as he saw to Nabiki's numerous comands 
much to the surprise of all. 

As they rowed toward Japan, the sun was setting in the background. 

******** 

Dan helped Joe into the life boat after Master Happosai. 

"Boys, since I'm your new master, we are going to have to start our 
training off with a bang. You have no talent now, but with some 
training, you might even be worthy to call yourself my students. 
Okay, Boys, row toward Hong Kong!" 

Joe looked at him, "But Master Happosai, Japan is over there. We 
could fly to Hong Kong!" 

Dan looked bewildered at him, "Why do we need to go to Hong Kong 
and train? I thought that you were from Japan?" 

Happosai thrashed each of them with his pipe. "Don't question your 
master!" As Joe and Dan rowed on, Happosai explained, "There is 
this bar in Hong Kong that serves the best Sake and has these cute 
little waitresses that wear nothing but bunny ears. Now, do you 
understand?" 

They nodded yes. Joe looked at Dan, "Row faster!" 

"Me row faster? I have to make up for you!" 

"Hey, what they Hell does that mean." 

"Well, Joe, if you don't have the brains to figure it out for 
yourself, then I'm not explaining!" 

Happosai, tiring of their school-boy banter, hit them again with 
the pipe, "Shut up and row!" 

Dan and Joe began to row again, "Yes, Master Happosai!" 

As they paddled off, Soun and Genma watched in exalted amazement, 
tears streamed down their face as they yelled, "We're free of him!" 

********* 

Terry watched in amazement as Joe and Dan rowed off with the old 
pervert. His attention wandered as he saw Kiyone getting onto a 
life boat with Mihoshi and the rest of the Masaki party. 

Terry checked to see if Andy had pulled Mai into the boat. Ken and 
Kim grabbed oars as their wives settled into the boat. 

He waved to get her attention and was surprised to see her grimace, 
"Kiyone, would you like to meet up in Tokyo." 

Kiyone looked at him with a sympathetic expression, "You know 
Terry. I have a hectic schedule, and it doesn't look like my life 
will slow down soon. I hope that you won't hate me when I ask if we 
can just remain friends." 

Terry was stunned but stammered a reply, "If that's what you want." 

She smiled at him, and then he saw Tenchi throw the cabbit into the 
air. He was amazed to see all of them disappear after they waved 
good-bye. 

Mai patted him on the shoulder, "Look at the bright side, Terry, at 
least she didn't die." 

Andy yelled at his future wife, "Mai, what are you trying to do!" 

"Andy, I was just trying to help!" 

As they bickered like an old, married couple, Eliza pinched her 
husband, "Don't look so worried, Ken. I'm sure Ryu is safe. He's 
probably already back in Japan training." 

Ken smiled, "Yeah, I'm sure you're right." 

********* 

On board Ryo-Ohki, Kiyone was the center of attention. 

Tenchi tried to be sympathetic, "Kiyone, are you alright?" 

Kiyone smiled, "I'm fine." 

Mihoshi querred in her normal fashion, "Why did you dump him, 
Kiyone?" 

"I found out at terrible thing about him. He doesn't like Karoke." 

The Masaki party nodded their heads as they said a collective, 
"Oh." 

Kiyone looked at Mihoshi, "What about Joe?" 

Mihoshi laughed, "I hope he's okay. He's my new friend, so when you 
are too busy to go out, I'll call my new buddy, Joe!" 

********* 

Ukyo pulled the P-Chan onto the life boat with her, "Now look what 
you did!" 

The piglet answered by squealing. 

"Ryoga, you are such a pain in the fanny. I lost all my luggage 
because of this little stun of yours. Haven't you ever heard of 
stress managament!" 

The piglet squealed in response. 

"Well, to pay me back for this, I guess you could work off the 
price of my lunch in my resturant." 

Ryoga was not pleased in the least by this. 

********* 

Ryu awoke in a dark place completely nude. All of his limbs were 
restrained to the metal table on which he lay. He looked toward the 
tapping sound that he heard and saw a small child with red hair in 
crazy spikes typing on a keyboard. He remembered the girl he tried 
to help when the ship broke into; he remember her pulling out a 
odd-looking gun and shooting him. "Why have you brought me here?" 

She stopped typing and looked at him; she began to giggle 
manically. 

Ryu felt the evil energy come from this girl. "It was you that I 
felt. You are the source of the evil energy. Do you have any 
connection to the demon known as Akuma?" 

"No. I don't even know an Akuma." 

Ryu was confused, "Who are you then?" 

"A" popped out on her shoulder, "She is Washu!" 

"B" was next, "The greatest scientist in the universe!" The two 
cheered on for several minutes. 

As the door to Washu's laboratory began to close, a question from 
Ryu could be heard faintly, "Can I have my clothes back, Great 
Washu?" It was answered by a mischievous giggle. 

The End. Finally. :)
------------------- 

Any question, comment and criticism should be directed to 
gankboy@icok.net. Hope you enjoyed it!