No Need For Hokey Religions!!!! Chapter 1: Action!!! By: Kagemusha First of all let's get this straight. I do not own Tenchi Muyo! or any of the characters in it. Nor do I own Star Wars or any of the characters in it or any likenesses to it. I am not doing this story for profit, merely for fun. Please send any feedback to kagemusha1999@hotmail.com Tenchi Masaki groaned to himself, as he fled the scene of yet another fight between Ryoko and Ayeka. He looked back to see an explosion tear a hole through the roof. "Great, that's another repair I'm gonna have to make." he thought to himself. Tenchi decided to go to the one spot where he could get some peace and quiet. "Damn you Ayeka!!" Ryoko yelled at the top of her lungs, "Tenchi is mine!!!" Ayeka quickly formed a forcefield causing the oncoming energy ball to explode harmlessly against it. "Lord Tenchi would want nothing to do with a foul demon such as yourself!!" she quickly replied. The dimensional doorway to Washu's lab opened up to reveal The Greatest Scientific Mind In The Universe. Washu crossed her arms as she surveyed the damage that had been done. She suddenly leaped into the air, kicking angrily, and screamed, "WILL YOU TWO KEEP QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!" Both Ryoko and Ayeka looked at Washu as if nothing had happened, "Geez talk about a grouch." Ryoko calmly stated. "Indeed." Ayeka stated in agreement as Washu facefaulted. Tenchi sat in the woods savoring the peace and quiet, figuring that the peaceful moment would soon be shattered by the sudden appearance of Ryoko. He tensed up for a minute expecting her to teleport behind him at that very instant. When she didn't he calmed down, and stopped trying to estimate when she would come. He looked up as a starship silently and suddenly cruised overtop of the woods heading in the general direction of the house. "I wonder who that could be?" he thought out loud. Tenchi began to jog back towards the house and froze in his tracks as he suddenly heard the sound of rapid laser fire and several explosions come from the house. He broke into an all out sprint suddenly fearing the worst. Sasami had just come downstairs from cleaning her and Ayeka's bedroom when the heavy laser fire began ripping through the roof of the house. She screamed as she tumbled down the steps landing at the bottom with a hard thud. Sasami cringed as several laser bolts impacted against the forcefield which appeard suddenly between her and a few of the deadly beams of energy. She looked over to where Ayeka stood projecting a similar forcefield about herself. "Ayeka!! What's going on!?!?" Sasami cried out in fear. "I don't know who, but someone's attacking the house Sasami!!" Ayeka replied quickly, focusing on strengthening the forcefields above her and her sister. She whirled around as several figures burst through the front door, firing some sort of laser weapons at both her and Sasami. She quickly formed two shields to defend Sasami and herself from these new attackers, while keeping up the two above them to ward off the fire from the ship. Just when it seemed that the strain of maintaining all of the shields would push her into unconsciousness Ayeka watched as the tip of an energy blade suddenly sprouted from the chest of one of the attackers. He looked down with a startled cry before collapsing. "I'm not about to let you hurt Sasami." Ryoko stated, then added, "Now if you wanna get rid of Ayeka, have fun!!!!" One of the attackers yelled out, "It's her!!!!! Compressed ion particle beams now!!!" The group fluidly moved as one, all flicking a switch on their weapons, and firing upon Ryoko as she charged and cut one of their own down. "Oh come on...lasers?" she taunted, dodging the fire while still advancing on the remaining attackers. Ayeka ran over to Sasami while the group focused on Ryoko. "Ayeka, what about Ryoko?" Sasami asked in a worried tone as she and Ayeka took cover. "What about her?" Ayeka replied. "Ayeka!!" Sasami cried with a frown. "Oh ok...Azaka!! Kamadake!! Assist Miss Ryoko now!!" Ayeka yelled. The two Guardians appeared just as two of the energy beams struck Ryoko. She looked at the spots where she had been hit and began to laugh. "Is that all you've g..." she stopped in mid-sentence and stumbled suddenly feeling dazed and weak. "What the hell?" she managed before passing out. "Miss Ryoko!!!" Azaka and Kamadake both cried out. The two formed an energy field around one of the attackers who had injured Ryoko virtually trapping him. The rest of the attack group formed a circle around Ryoko's unconscious form. At that very instant Tenchi burst through the front door in full Jurian battle attire with his lighthawk wings activated. He took one glance at the group around Ryoko and yelled, "No!! Ryoko!!" The attack group halted firing at the two Gaurdians to deal with this new possible threat. Tenchi formed his lighthawk wings into an energy blade and sized up the group. At the site of Tenchi's energy blade one of the attackers yelled out, "What the hell?!?! He said that there wouldn't be any Jedi here!!!!! Open fire!!!!! Slow him down till we get the target out of here!!!!" Two of the attackers stepped forward and began firing at Tenchi while the rest of the group picked up Ryoko and blasted a hole through the wall creating an exit. Tenchi ran forward and cut one of the two attackers in half, then leaped from the other attacker's line of fire. While he was occupied the rest of the attack group carried Ryoko outside, and boarded their shuttle. "Take off!!! Forget about them!!! Their already dead!!!" they told the pilot. After finishing the last attacker off Tenchi dashed outside only to see the shuttle take off and slowly ascend. He prepared to fire an energy blast at it but Ayeka stopped him saying, "Although I personally wouldn't mind but Ryoko is on that ship and I know it would tear your conscious apart if she were hurt due to your actions Lord Tenchi." Slumping his shoulders but nodding in agreement Tenchi looked around and asked, "Hey, where's Ryo-oh-ki and Washu?" Down in her lab Washu was about to discover the meaning of life when... "Washu!!!!!!!" She facefaulted, then got up to see Ayeka, Tenchi, and Sasami rushing down the steps. Azaka and Kamadake followed the three towing an armored military looking figure trapped in one of their forcefields. "What is it now!?!?" Tenchi asked with a puzzled look, "You're mentally connected to Ryoko so how don't you know the situation Washu?!" Washu sighed then opened her mental link with Ryoko only to see...nothing. "Where is she?" she asked with a worried look. All three began to retell the events from their perspective viewpoints, while Washu nodded, listened, and observed the captured attacker. "And you say that there was about ten of these guys?" she asked, then said "No problem." Washu's phantom keyboard appeared in front of her and she began typing furiously while watching various images and text on her display. "What!?!?!?!?!?" she cried out suddenly, "How could they have a cloak that blocks my tracking so effectively?!?!" While she went back to the task of trying to tracking the escaped shuttle, Tenchi actually took a good look at captured attacker. Whomever it was had some sort of high tech military looking armor, and a matching robotic mask. The attacker had several mean looking weapons, and some other high tech gadgets hanging from his armor. "Washu what I want to know is how did they knock Ryoko out?" asked Tenchi, "I mean, the weapons they were firing didn't appear to be capable of hurting her compared to some other stuff that's been fired at her." They all turned as the attacker laughed suddenly and said, "I guess you Jedi aren't as all knowing as they claim you are." As he continued laughing Sasami looked over to Ayeka and Tenchi and asked them, "What's a Jedi? And why did he just call you that Tenchi?" Tenchi merely shrugged, but Ayeka replied, "Oh it's just a legend about some hokey old religion Sasami. It's nothing for you to worry about. But I wonder why he refered to them when he saw Lord Tenchi as well." Washu who had a worried look on her face simply stated, "Oh they're quite real Ayeka, and we'd better find Ryoko soon, because anyone who knew of the Jedi but tried to kill someone whom they thought was one...well...let's say they won't have her best interest at heart." Ayeka asked Washu, "Just how do you know of this Miss Washu?" Washu looked at her with an annoyed look and replied, "I'm the Greatest Scientific Mind In The Universe!! Why wouldn't I know?!?!" As Tenchi was about to ask a question, Sasami pointed to a red light flashing on one of Washu's moniters and asked, "What's this for Washu?" Washu casually looked over and replied, "Oh that? It's just warning that there's a ship entering Earth's atmosphere, and heading this way. Nothin' serious." "What!?!?!?" Ayeka, Tenchi, and Sasami all yelled in unison. Ayeka jacked Washu up and began shaking her screaming "Why didn't you tell us about the other ship instead of letting our lives be put at risk like that?!?!?" Washu calmly looked at her and asked "Are you done now?" Tenchi and Sasami watched as Ayeka facefaulted. Washu called up her phantom keyboard and began typing while watching images and text on her moniter. "Well, there are only four beings onboard including the pilot and co-pilot. And there's only a minimum array of weapons on the ship." ,she told the others, "Oh and to answer your question Ayeka I didn't even notice the warning because I was immersed in the most important thing in the universe...SCIENCE!!!" Tenchi and Sasami both groaned as they began to head upstairs. Washu looked over to Azaka and Kamadake telling them to bring the captive upstairs. "Something tells me that our new guests may want to meet him." she stated thoughtfully. "Do you know them Miss Washu?" ,Ayeka asked suddenly, startling Washu in the process. "Aaaaaahh!!!" ,Washu cried out, "I thought you had gone upstairs!" Ayeka warily looked at Washu and stated, "Unfortunately, no I didn't" "Well you may find this part quite educational princess." ,Washu retorted, "Come on, let's go up and join the other." Tenchi and Sasami were looking at the damage done to the house when Ayeka, Washu, and the Gaurdians came up from the lab. "God!! How am I gonna fix all this?!?!?", Tenchi groaned. Washu looked around and whistled. "This place looks like a war-zone.", she commented, "But don't worry about it Tenchi. I'll fix it up as soon as we find Ryoko." Tenchi was about to ask how, when Ayeka cleared her throat announcing that the ship was about to land outside. The group stepped outside just as the starship landed on the laser scorched grass next to the house. Sasami looked down as she heared a confused "Miyaa?".Everyone's favorite cabbit leaped into the arms of the young princess to watch as the airlock cycled open. The group watched as two figures exited the ship. One was an older, mature looking human male, while the other was a humanoid creature with two tentacle looking appendages emerging from it's head. Both wore brown robes with what looked like karate gi on underneath. Tenchi noticed that the pair seemed to radiate a sort of calm, courageous aura of hope. His line of thought was broken when Washu piped up "Well, well! It isn't everyday that we get visits from Jedi Knights here in the Sol System." Ayeka's eyes saucered as she looked back and forth in disbelief at the pair of Jedi, and Washu who was smiling mischievously. The human stepped forward and said "My name is Kai Ettaran and this is my apprentice Zian Teru. As you have stated we are Jedi Knights, and you are?" Washu just continued to smile as she replied "Oh I'm Washu but you can call me Little Washu." The Jedi Knight bowed his head slightly. Washu continued on, introducing the others "This is Ayeka; crown princess of Jurai; her sister Sasami, the Royal Gaurdians Azaka, and Kamadake, and Tenchi Masaki, crown prince of Jurai." As she introduced each person, the two Jedi nodded graciously toward him or her. Sasami suddenly piped up "Would you both like to join us for lunch?" "Why thank you young princess, we would be honored.", the elder Jedi answered. "Umm...Sasami...", Ayeka said, motioning toward the house as a part of the roof collapsed. Sasami's shoulders drooped as she let out a sad sounding "Oh yeah..." Tenchi watched the whole thing, and then blurted "Uh guys...shouldn't we be trying to catch up with those guys who kidnapped Ryoko?" The younger Jedi looked over and exclaimed "The Dreaded Space Pirate Ryoko?!?!" He then looked over toward Kai Ettaran and said "Master our mission..." The Jedi Master thoughtfully rubbed his chin. He then looked at Washu and asked, "What exactly happened to her?" The group then went into the long story of the attack and the kidnapping. After they finished, Ayeka asked warily "Why exactly are you two here and why would you be interested in that foul demon?" Washu who looked slightly annoyed said "As annoying as the princess can be...she has a good question." Kai Ettaran sighed and began explaining "Zian and I were sent here by the Jedi Council to prevent what we assumed was to be the release and recruitment of The Dreaded Space Pirate Ryoko. But it is quite clear we were quite late in the release and that this was definitely not a recruitment but an abduction." Washu called up her phantom keyboard and began watching as the computer broke through the cloaking device and tracked the kidnapper's starship into another system. Tenchi looked puzzled as he asked "But who would want to kidnap Ryoko, and why?!?" Washu snapped her fingers triumphantly as the ship's destination was made clear. "It appears that we're about to get the answer to your question Tenchi", she stated drawing the collective gaze of the entire group.