South Park Meets Tenchi

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, and is you know South Park,
this will have a lot of swears.

It was a beautiful morning, and Tenchi had gotten up unusually early that
morning. He stood on the porch watching the sunrise.

"I gotta see a doctor about this insomnia," Tenchi thought to himself.

>From way up where he was standing he could see all the way down to the
street, he watched a car stalled on the street.

"Might as well help them. I got nothing better to do," Tenchi thought.

Tenchi walked all the way down to the street to see if he could help in any
way. What he saw amazed him. It was a paper like person!

"Umm. can I help you?" Tenchi politely asked.

"Yeah. You got a beer?" said the paper looking man.

"Umm." Tenchi meekly said.

"I'll handle this Uncle Jimbo," said a boy who looked about eight,
"Dude our car's outta gas! Can you help us?"

"Umm. you can come up to my house for a while, I'll see what I can do"
Tenchi replied.

"DUDE SWEET! OK! Guys come on!" The kid yelled.

Four other people got out of the car.

"Okay, I'm Stan, that is Kyle," he said while pointing to a kid with an
orange hunting jacket and a green hat on, "That lard ass over there is
Eric,"
he said while pointing to a fat kid wearing a red coat and a blue hat.

"DAMNIT CALL ME CARTMAN, Eric sounds so gay!" Eric yelled.

Stan continued, "Anyway, that's Kenny," he said while pointing to a kid
wearing an orange body suit, "that's Ned," he said pointing to a guy with a
fat head, and only one arm, "And you already met my Uncle Jimbo."

"Nice to meet you all, follow me" Tenchi said.

"Kick ass, FREE FOOD," Cartman said.

"If you had anymore food, you'd need your own zip code you fat ass," Kyle
said.

"HEY! SHUT UP YOU WHORE!"

"Like your Mom Cartman?"

"She told me that if she didn't do it, she."

"Shove it Cartman, let's follow this dude!"

The strangers followed Tenchi up the long winding stairs.

"Damn how many stairs are there. IM DYING HERE!" Cartman yelled.

"Mpphhfff," Kenny said.

"What did he say?" asked Tenchi.

"He said we have only been climbing for two minuets," Jimbo said.

"Oh, so what are you American's doing in Japan, and how are you speaking our
language?" Tenchi asked.

"MIND YOUR OWN GOD DAMNED BUSINESS!" Cartman yelled.

"Shut up cellulite bitch. This guy is trying to do something nice for us,
don't blow it," Stan said.

"Dude, what's your name anyway?" Kyle asked.

"Tenchi"

"Tenchi? That sounds like a hooker name!" claimed Cartman.

They all laughed except Tenchi.

They got up to the top just as breakfast was being served.

Nobyuki was heading off to work, when he saw Tenchi carrying his group home.

"Tenchi what's going on here?" Nobyuki asked.

"What the fuck is your problem bitch? Get out of here!" Cartman yelled.

"Oops... sorry." Nobyuki said and continued down the stairs.

He stopped two stairs later and said, "HEY!"

When he turned around they were gone.

"I must be drinking to much of that Sake," he mumbled.

Inside the group sat around the table.

"Oh dear. I didn't know we were going to have company, I'm afraid there
wont
be enough," Sassami said.

"Really? That's to bad, looks like your gonna have to give us your food,"
Cartman said.

"HEY!!!" Ryoko yelled.

"Don't argue with me BITCH," Cartman yelled as he grabbed her plate and ran
off with it.

"COME BACK HERE YOU FAT TUB OF LARD. DAMN, FOR SUCH A FAT KID HE CAN RUN
FAST," Ryoko yelled as she flew after him.

Ayeka just stared at the sight she was seeing. Could these people actually
be
acting this way to a royal princess?

"Hey sweet thing, after this meal, let's have our own meal, just us two,
what
do you say?" Kyle asked as he jumped into he lap.

"EEEK," Ayeka yelled as she jumped up, "TENCHI GET THESE REPULSIVE CREATURES
AWAY FROM ME!"

"HEY YOU LEAVE HER ALONE," Tenchi yelled.

"No way poindexter! She's a babe!" Kyle said.

"Okay that's it! AZAKA, KAMADAKE, DEAL WITH THIS INSOLENT PEST!" Ayeka
yelled.

"Affirmative," the two guardians said in unison, as they floated in.

"THEIR COMMIN RIGHT FOR US!" Jimbo yelled as he produced a shotgun and shot
the robots right in their sensor eye.

The two robots fell to the ground, not knowing which way they were going
now,
they simply bumped into the wall and table and stuff.

"HEY," Ayeka yelled as he little shield things floated down and closed Jimbo
and Kyle in a circle.

The beams shot out, but Kenny was in the way, and got zapped.

"OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY"

"YOU BASTARDS!!!"

Kyle and Jimbo quickly ran off as Ayeka and more shield things chased them.
Tenchi sighed and went outside.
Only Ned, Stan, and Sassami remained at the table.

"They didn't even complement my cooking today." Sassami pouted.

Ned held up his voice box to his throat and said, "I didn't get any
remember."

Stan said while pointing to a little cabbit thing on Sassami's shoulder,
"DUDE WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

Ryo-Ohki hissed at him.
Sassami sighed and started doing the dishes.
Stan simply sat there eating and swatting Ned's hands away from taking his
food.

Meanwhile Cartman was hiding from Ryoko behind the couch.

"Damn. I gotta get away from that bitch," he said while panting.

He peeked his head from behind the couch and saw a weird door, he took off
and went through it.
Ryoko saw this.

"HEY, GET BACK HERE," she yelled while following his footsteps.

Cartman couldn't move. He was flabbergasted at the sight in front of him. He
was in some huge scientific lab. Giant machines beeped and lights flashed
everywhere.

"Hi there little boy," said a voice from the side of him.

He turned and said, "DON'T CALL ME LITTLE BITCH! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"I'm Washuu"

Suddenly Ryoko burst through the door screaming, "WHERE IS THAT LITTLE
BRAT?"

Cartman saw that he was cornered, so he reached to the nearest thing. He
picked up some little box that was sitting on a piece of equipment to the
left of him.

"STAY BACK BITCH! I KNOW HOW TO USE THIS"

"Ryoko, don't attack him. He has my Electron Neutralizer, you don't know the
harm he could do with it!", Washuu warned.

"Damn straight bitch, don't move!"

Ryoko didn't care, she jumped toward Cartman.

"I WARNED YOU WHORE!" he yelled while pushing the button on top of the box.

A bright flash went off. When the flash dimmed out. The entire lab, but him
was gone. He was standing in a small closet. He went back out into the
hallway.

"Hmm. I showed them," he confidently said.

Meanwhile Tenchi was mending the fields, when Jimbo and Kyle ran by followed
by Ayeka and her shield things.

"No work done today I see.," Tenchi sighed.

Meanwhile back in the kitchen.

"More," Stan said to Sassami.

"That's all that's left. There is no more," she responded.

"But I'm starving," Ned said while holding his device to his throat.

"Well, grandpa is at the store, so you'll have to wait until he gets back,"
she said.

"Tell me you got cable at least on the TV," Stan said desperately.

 "Yeah, ever sense Washuu hooked it up to an inter-space satellite, we even
get alien channels.

"DUDE! ALIEN PORN!", Stan yelled.

"Hey Stan, whatcha watching?", Cartman asked while walking into the living
room.

"Dude I'm gonna watch alien porn!", Stan said.

"KICK ASS"

"Dude, what happened to that hooker that was chasing you?" Stan asked.

"I dunno, I pressed something, and the whole lab was gone!"

"Whatever dude, I think you've been eating to much Cheesy-Poof's."

Sassami didn't hear this over the running water, if she did, she surly would
have done something.

"Why watch alien porn, when there's alien hunting show?", asked Ned.

"DUDE, I GOT HERE FIRST. We'll watch alien hunting after alien porn!"

Back in the fields Jimbo had managed to stop Ayeka by shooting her shield
things.

"HA BITCH, What are ya gonna do now?", asked Kyle.

"Tenchi.," Ayeka yelled, but when she turned Tenchi was gone.

Now it was Jimbo and Kyle chasing Ayeka.

Back in the hallway, the closet door began to glow. When the glowing Washuu
wand Ryoko came out.

"What happened?", Ryoko asked.

"That kid used my machine to send my lab back to it's original dimension! In
this dimension it seemed like only five minuets, but in reality we were
there
for five years! Fortunately I built my lab so if something like that was to
happen, we wouldn't feel the time snap!", Washuu explained.

"SO I'M FIVE YEARS OLDER?"

"Afraid so, luckily my lab's computer registered what had happened, and sent
us back to this dimension, to bad it took my lab 5 years to do it on it's
own."

"THAT BASTARD. HE JUST WASTED FIVE YEARS I COULD HAVE BEEN WITH TENCHI! HE
IS
GONNA PAY!!!"

Ryoko flew into the living room and charged up a blast.

"Any last requests before I blast you into oblivion Fatso?", Ryoko asked.

"Yeah. GO TO HELL BITCH!", Cartman said while pulling the box out of his
pocket and pushing the button down again.

"Oh no. my machine was only meant to be used one time. He's ripped the
dimensional barrier apart!!!", Washuu yelled calmly.

"What do we do?", Ryoko yelled.

"We wait, that's all we can do, the dimensions will fix themselves, they
always do. what happens after that, I cannot tell you."

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID FATASS," Stan yelled.

"HEY SHE MADE ME DO IT!"

Suddenly a huge blue light overtook everyone within a 3-mile radius.

When the light left the South Park people were back in South Park Town
Square.

"DUDE WERE BACK!", Kyle said.

"HOORAY!!!", Jimbo yelled.

Meanwhile in an alternate dimension, Ryoko, Tenchi, Ayeka, Washuu, and
Sassami were floating in an endless ocean of water.

"DAMNIT WE GOT SCREWED," Ryoko yelled.

Later when Grandpa, Nobyuki, and Kyone and Mihoshi had all arrived back
home,
they found it empty, and it stayed that way.

THE END